The Christian Family #7Keys to Child-Rearing (concl.)

In our previous lesson on this subject, we looked at:• The difference between being a parent and child-rearing; and• That child-rearing is a combination of:

Biblical Directives Biblical Perspectives Practical Experience & Common Sense

• We also covered two Keys:

1.Don’t Be Intimidated

2.Have a Parent-Centered Family

The Christian Family #7Keys to Child-Rearing (concl.)

Key #3- Don’t Overdose Your Children with Attention.

• It’s very easy, especially with first children, to do just that- to spend every waking hour (and dollar) making their world idyllic.

• That’s not in their best interest for a simple reason: when they grow up and move out, the world won’t be that way, and they won’t know how to deal with it.

• It also tends to make them selfish, usually ungrateful, and narcissistic.

• There is no doubt that children need attention, but please consider the following, though some have seen it before…

The Christian Family #7Keys to Child-Rearing (concl.)

Key #3- Don’t Overdose Your Children with Attention.

Too Much of a Good Thing

Children need food. But they don’t need a lot of it. If you persist in giving a child more food than he or she needs, that child will become dependant upon continuing to receive excessive amounts of food. If you continue to feed that food dependency, it will grow into an obsession that will function as a powerful, driving force in that child’s life. The child’s sense of well being will lean increasingly on the idea that in order to feel secure, he or she must have access to food. Eventually, the child will become a food addict, and that condition will hang like a stone around the child’s neck, encumbering the growth of self-esteem.

The Christian Family #7Keys to Child-Rearing (concl.)

Key #3- Don’t Overdose Your Children with Attention.

Look again at Too Much of a Good Thing

Children need attention. But they don’t need a lot of it. If you persist in giving a child more attention than he or she needs, that child will become dependant upon continuing to receive excessive amounts of attention. If you continue to feed that attention dependency, it will grow into an obsession that will function as a powerful, driving force in that child’s life. The child’s sense of well being will lean increasingly on the idea that in order to feel secure, he or she must have access to attention. Eventually, the child will become an attention addict, and that condition will hang like a stone around the child’s neck, encumbering the growth of self-esteem.

The Christian Family #7Keys to Child-Rearing (concl.)

Key #3- Don’t Overdose Your Children with Attention.

Now remember/understand the objective of child-rearing:

To construct/grow mature, independent, and godly adults.

Of primary importance, then, is determining where the line is- or, how much attention is too much.

To determine this, a distinction must be made between the child’s/children’s needs and wants.

The Christian Family #7Keys to Child-Rearing (concl.)

Key #3- Don’t Overdose Your Children with Attention.

We must supply the child’s true needs, and can even supply some of his/her wants without undue harm; but, we must consider the biblical perspective of how God dealt with His children in these matters also. For instance, think about…

Adam: God supplied his needs, Gen.2:4-14, 16-17; but also included v.15. God didn’t need a gardener, but man needed work whether he wanted it or not! Children may want things, but they need responsibilities to be a part of getting them.

The Christian Family #7Keys to Child-Rearing (concl.)

Key #3- Don’t Overdose Your Children with Attention- determining needs vs. wants: Naaman: he wanted a great and glorious event, but he

really needed healing, 2Kings 5:1-14.

Disciples’ Prayer: Which of the items included are wants, and which are needs in Matt.6:10-13?

Prodigal Son: His father gave him his wants- how did that work out for him? Luke 15:11-32

Paul’s Thorn in the Flesh: Did God give Paul what he wanted, or what he needed? 2Cor.12:7-10

Israel: they wanted a king, they needed a Savior, John 6:15 > vv.66-68.

The Christian Family #7Keys to Child-Rearing (concl.)

Key #3- Don’t Overdose Your Children with Attention- determining needs vs. wants:

It’s hard to say “no” to your children’s wants- whether for your constant attention, or for things.

But it is not in their best interest to give unrestrained amounts of either! Always remember to model your choices in these matters after God’s example.

Don’t attempt to “make-up” for your failures as a parent with undue amounts of attention or things.

More than “quality time,” children need involved parents who are always there for them when needed, who make good choices for them, and say “no” to them when necessary or beneficial.

In our next lesson in this series, we’ll begin to look at

“Family Discipline.”