The Boys of the Twenty-Fourth. - Auckland War Memorial …...The Boys of the Twenty-Fourth. ... But...

T he Boys of the Twenty-Fourth.B y S e r g t . B r a in s b y , B . Co y .

1.

rE ’R E the Twenty-Fourth New Zealand Reinforcements for the W ar—A jolly lot of Khaki boys, like those who’ve gone before.W e’re out for Home and Freedom, and we're proud to join the host Who have answered for the Empire, every soldier at his post.

Chorus :—

W e’re the Twenty-Fourth New Zealand Reinforcements “ on the wing/ W e’re off to join our comrades, and we’re out to serve the King.I t ’s not the time for “ skiting,” and we don’t intend to boast,B ut when it comes to fighting they will find us a t our post.

- 2 .

When we entered Camp we meant it, and we mean it still to-day. Although there’s lots to grouse about from “ forming fours ” to “ pay,” I t ’s not the time for “ yapping,” though we may be overdosed,W e’ll be ready for the scrapping when they call us to our post.

3.

Though we love our homes like other boys who heard the Em pire’s call, I t ’s up to us to do our bit, and, if a t last we fall,We’re free and fearless soldiers, and we covet first and mostThat they’ll say we did our duty when the bugles sound Last Post.”

4.

B ut if luck should smile upon us, and we cross the seas again To little, old New Zealand and they fete her fighting men,W e’ll fill our glasses with the best and drink a bumper toast To the women folk who served as well—just waiting at their post

W r i t t e n a t S e a . P r i c e : S I X P E N C E . D a t e (C ensored) 1917.

E d ite d by E xecutive Com m ittee :

P t e . R. C. MORGAN and L i e u t . J. D. McCOMISH, S g t . R. D. KIELY. (Chairman) and T h e E d it o r s .

Amusements. t o - n k j h t . 3 p.m . t o - n i g h t . Wanted.F irst A ppearance ,, i T->

1VRI[\TRVJ<̂ PTf 1/PTTT?Trc\ r W anted at once, three good iiurgooB R U .IB Y b 1 1L/1 Ull-Lo. 0f the .Mixers.—Apply im mediately to theEvery Evening at 8 p .m ., World Renowned Chef De Bong, Troops’ Galley. No

shirkers need apply.a* th e M A O R ILA N D SONG STERS, ____________

BRII>G E T H E A T R E . D irect from P aekakarik i and K auka- Personal T n:_u+ Tn-nio-lit pakapa, and secured a t g rea t expense.

g ' Ilakas, poi dances, M aori legends and B E A T R IC E .—I still love you dearly.C H A R L E S C H A P L IN , games, songs, and love scenes. You m isunderstood. W rite old address.

Come one. Como all. —C orporal Fernleaf.Tn his latest, and g reatest success, . ,, . , _____________B ring your sweethearts, • wives and

SM O K IN G C IG A R E T T E S A F T E R children to see the famous Public NoticeD A R K . P ite ro i H api and Company.

/r. n i.....i • • P opular prices: 5, 2 and 1 Canteen(See Chaxhe in Clmk). t io k e k BU LLD O G M U SEU M .

Supported by “ T h e Bun R u sh ,” ------------------- Iia c re m ai! Pieces of long-extinctB anner B rand B u tte r now on V IE W .

A nother special comedy. MlSSin^ Friends, A dm ission: One canteen ticket.A dmission: B ridge Stalls, 1 pkt. N .B .—D on’t throw off a t this exhibit.

D ates; U pper Deck, 1 tin Sardines. Last seen about a m onth ago, and Y ou will be old yourself some day.(No ex tra charge for reserved seats.) thought to be m aking for Coromandel ____________

(N.Z.), the one and only “ Charlie _ . .Lox plan at Mess c i . C haplin .” Any inform ation as to his T h e electric ligh t is now switched off

L. Brum by, whereabouts will be gladly received by at 10 p.m ., owing to the cooks nowM anaging D irector. m embers of 20 Platoon, using the curren t for the pudding.

2 THE BULLDOGS’ BARK.

Birth.“ V E R IB E Z T .” —D uring the th ird

week of their journey, to the members of the R ig h t W ing of the 24th R fts .— H ope (still-born).

Death.B A N N E R .—P rivate “ X .L .” “ Ban

n e r ,” “ R ank and V ile” of the 24th R fts., a slow death after a long and painfu l illness.

The Bulldogs’ Bark and Devon Lyre.

Holdfast.

“ OURSELVES.” '

The title of this -article must not be taken to mean the editorial “ we ” of a commercial newspaper or magazine. Rather, the name is intended to embrace every member of the Right Wing of the 24th Reinforcements, for every member is equally interested in the success of this, their newspaper, which, is made possible only because so many of them have freely given of their time to its needs.

We all listened with interest to the statement, in the speech delivered by Major Finnis on Anzac Bay, th a t the 24th Reinforcement, during their sojourn in the training camps a t Trentham and Featherston had had a smaller percentage of misdemeanours charged against them than any previous reinforcements. As is natural, we always felt sure, in our own minds, th a t we were, both individually and collectively, a particularly well-behaved lot, but it was nevertheless pleasing to have our belief authoritatively confirmed.

The Twenty-fourths received less training before embarking than any previous reinforcement. They were something like three weeks late entering camp, bu t on the other hand left for the front on schedule time. Some three or four weeks after entering the

training camp we lost a considerable number of men, who were transferred to fill vacancies in the ranks of the 23rds. The shortage was made good by the transfer of a corresponding number of recruits from the 25th Reinforcement, whose period of training has, of course, been shorter even than th a t of the original members of our reinforcement.

That we should, in spite of the drawbacks just mentioned, have earned the reputation for discipline inferred in the remarks made by the officer commanding the draft may without undue egotism be claimed to be distinctly creditable to us.

We may pride ourselves, too, on the fact th a t so far as the voyage has gone, the high standard of discipline reached in camp has been well maintained, offences against the ship’s rules or the military regulations being- very few, and of only a minor character.

Possibly only a percentage of the soldiers on board the ship have fully realized the strenuous task (a task in which our present voyage is but a pleasant interlude) we have undertaken. But each and every one of us has formed some conception of what we will be called upon to face, and, in a greater or lesser degree, is aware of the many hardships and trials in store for us. Yet the prevailing spirit is one of cheerful courage, combined with a determination to do our share •towards keeping the name of New Zealand’s soldiers on the high plane on which it has been placed by the deeds of the Main Body and the Reinforcements which have preceded us.

No more than the grumble which from time immemorial has been the soldier’s prerogative has been heard on board concerning the food and accommodation provided for us, whilst up to the time of writing the sea has been exceptionally kind, and we have been almost entirely spared the miseries of sea-sickness.

We are moving quickly towards the new and strange. If. “ in the still watches of the night,” an occasional doubt as to the outcome of our venture crosses our minds, it is quickly dissipated by the reflection th a t we are answering a call th a t could not honourably be disregarded.

“ Then rally round the Standard, And rally round the Jack ;

‘ The Day ’ has come—the payday—

W ith war-dogs on the track ! Forever in the foremost

There let the Bulldog stand, For w hat we have we’ll hold,

lads,For honour and England.”

LOCAL AND GENERAL.The cakes sent on board by the

Lady Liverpool Committee were delivered to the various units in due course, and were much appreciated.

We desire to thank, on behalf of all ranks, the donors of the various books, magazines, etc., which have enabled us to have a t our disposal a very fine Library. Our thanks are also due to the Y.M.C.A. for a large supply of writing materials.

The members of No. 28 Platoon, G Coy., wish to acknowledge the safe delivery of a phonograph from the residents of Ashburton.

In organising amusements during the trip no one has done so much as Lieutenant Duffy. “ Minister for Physical Culture ” is the title given him by “ the boys,” and we think th a t of “ Director General of Sports and Concerts ” could well be added. Captain Potter, too, has given much of his time to this branch of our troopship life, and as Referee of boxing contests his decisions have, in all cases, satisfied everyone.

As is usual in a journal of this description, humorous articles, jokes, limericks, etc., form the

THE BULLDOGS’ BARK.

greater part of the letterpress. But those w ritten in a more serious vein are equally worthy of perusal. We shall be surprised if, of these, our readers do not single out “ A Soldier’s Soliloquy ” by Private S. Kenneth Phillips as one of sufficient merit to be worthy of a place in a much more pretentious magazine than this paper claims to be.

The committee set up to a rrange for the publication of " The Bulldogs.’ Bark and Devon Lyre ” consisted of Lieutenant McComish, 2nd Lieut. Douglas, Sister R uth Smith (officers), Lance-Corpl. Rogerson (A Company), Sergeant Brainsby (B Company), Private Morgan (D Company), Sergeant Gorrie (E Company) and Sergeant Kiely (G Company). At an early meeting of the committee Private Morgan was appointed editor and Sergeant Kiely assistant editor, each retaining his position as representative of his Company. The general conduct of the paper was left to an executive commit- t3e, consisting of Lieutenant McComish (chairman) and the Editor and Assistant Editor.(, The Editors have received a great deal of assistance in the performance of their duties from the other members of the Newspaper Committee, and cannot let pass this opportunity of acknowledging the help afforded them.

A feature of the voyage has been the good relations th a t have prevailed between the members of the Reinforcement and the ship’s officers and crew. The interference with the crew’s performance of their duties unavoidably caused by the men drilling on the decks has been patiently borne by the ship’s company, who have also done all in their power to make the troops’ sea journey as pleasant as possible.

The Editors desire to tender their heartiest thanks to all contributors to the pages of this journal. They regret th a t the

.necessity of keeping the size of the paper within due bounds has caused the rejection of a number of contributions, as they would have liked to have given practical expression of their appreciation of the efforts of those contributing by inserting all the m atter Avhich came to hand.

We have been asked to acknowledge, on behalf of the members of the Reinforcement, a number of gifts from Sisters Grant and Smith for distribution among the troops. Some of these have already been given as prizes for the sports, and the balance are in hand, and will be disposed of later.

We also wish to acknowledge receipt of six sacks of “ parcels ” for the Otago Boys from Miss Jean Burt, Hon. Sec., Otago Ladies’ Patriotic Society. These parcels will be delivered a day or two before reaching our destination.

The programme to be presented a t the Bridge Theatre to-night is one of more than ordinary merit. The star item is a first-class comedy featuring Charlie Chaplin in “ The Bun R ush,” in which the 24th Reinforcements of the N.Z.E.F. take a leading part., is the principal supporting film.

Morgan Joseph Northover McCarthy, of 17 Platoon, has lately handed in his stripes to enable him to devote more time to the study of the vexed question of mess orderlies.

Mr. Peanuts Smith, who is going direct from New Zealand to Berlin to finish his studies in the arts of torture, has an advertisement in another column which will repay perusal.

A source of great pleasure and much amusement during the voyage have been the exhibitions of “ Professor ” Weaver, the 24ths “ Official ” Hypnotist.

At the concert held the night before reaching our first port of call the song which appears on another page was sung by Sgt.

Kiely, of “ G ” Coy. The words of the song were composed by Sgt. Brainsby, of “ B ” Coy., and the music by Pte. Phillips of “A” Coy. The song has a fine lilt and will undoubtedly become very popular.

A Few "Don’t s ”DON T take a book to read when

your’re mess orderly—the cooks may think you’re in a hurry.

DON’T go on deck as soon as you’ve finished your breakfast—the mess orderlies like you to stay and talk to them.

D O N ’T fall down the stairs with your m ates’ dinner—onlookers are in clined to laugh and bo unsym pathetic too.

DO N ’T g e t up early in the m orning and have a shower—you m ay catch a cold.

DO N ’T p inch anyone else’s ham mock—you m ay have a “ Restless” nigh t and land “ on the M at.”

D O N ’T complain about the B u tte r— it speaks for itself.

D O N ’T ask about R um R ations— the though t may intoxicate someone.

DO N ’T read the notice a t the Canteen, but ask the Sergeant “ W hen do you sell coupons?”—he likes answering this question.

Naming the Paper.“ W hat’s in a nam e? ” —Shakespeare." The (censored) D yspeptic,” “ Tho

■ E x p lo re r/ ' a num ber of “ B u lldogs/' “ The Anzac E m ulato r,” and several other people were recently invited to dinner by “ The (censored) D evil.” A m ongst num erous o ther dainties served a t the m eal was a “ P o tte r’s J’ie, ” composed of “ Four-and-Tw enty L iar-B irds.” A nother dish th a t ap peared prom inently on the m enu was •T he Bone of C o n te n tio n /’ for which

“ Devonshire C ream ” was served as a dressing. The company made m erry a t the expense of “ T he P ilg rim ’s P ro gress,” which “ T h e N om ad” declared was absolutely “ The L im it.” “ The (censored) Orderly ” and “ The New Zealander’’ complained of the length of both “ Tho V oyage” and “ The Long T ra il.” The latter, they said, made them quite tired , and they asked for “ M orepork” and “L am b’s Tales” to revive their drooping spirits and enable them to transfer “ The Guard on the W indy C orner” to either “ Tho L6aky Deck” or “ T h e Hamm ock R ack .” “ The Bugle Call” sounded for a gam e of “ P itch and Toss,” after which the whole company trim m ed “ The M agp ie 's” “ R agged E dges.” Shortly af te rwards, led by “The C roaker,” the company went below decks, to keep “ The W atch D og” from tearing up “ Our Scrap of P a p e r .”

o

4

The Lay of the 24ths.

By P rivate F . IX COYNE.

'Sung to the T une of “ John B row n's Body.” )

I'he 24th ’Enforcem ents are a-marching to the war,

The 24th ’Enforcem ents arc a-marching to the war,

Their knees are red and dusty and their feet are hot and sore,

B ut they still keep m arching along.

C horus:W e’re the 24th ’Enforcem ent,W e’re the 24th ’Enforcem ent,W e’re the 24th ’Enforcem ent,

And we still keep m arching along.

T hey fed us up with Irish stew and filled us up w ith jam ,

They fed us up with Irish stew and filled us up with jam,

The p rivate he gets cheese for lunch, the officer gets ham,

B ut we keep on m arching along.

Chorus.

They drew us in the ballot and we left our happy home,

They drew us in the ballot and we left our happy home,

From the L and of the W ahine to B erlin we’ve got to roam,

B ut we still keep m arching along.

Chorus

They take us out upon parade to teach us how to fight,

They take us out upon parade to teach us how to fight,

And we always have reveille in the middle of the night,


Chorus.

We lie upon our bellies ju s t to learn the way to shoot,

We lie upon our bellies just to learn the way to shoot,

And a sergeant treads upon us with his am m unition boot,


Chorus.

T hey always give us “ Eyes rig h t ” when a O eneral goes past,

They always give us “ Eyes rig h t ” when a General goes past,

A nd if we are no t quick a Coxp’ral hands us out a blast.


Chorus.

They p u t us on a transport and they packed us like sardines,

They pu t us on a tra rsp o rt and they packed us like sardines,

Then they sailed us to another place just to dodge the submarines,

But we still keep marching along.

Chorus.

We don’t know where we’re going to, we don’t know where we’ve, been,


We don’t know w here we’re going to,.we don’t know where w e've been,

B ut we get the latest wireless when we go to the canteen,

So we still keep m arching along.

Chorus.

They said, “ W rite home to m other, she’ll be glad of it no doubt,”

They said, “ W rite home to m other she’ll be glad of it no doubt,’’

So w e w rote th e news to m other, but the Censor cut it out,

A nd we still keep m arching along.

Chorus.

W e’re going to teach the K aiser’s men a lesson good and hard.

W e’re going to teach the K a ise r’s men a lesson good and hard.

We haven't come twelve thousand miles to/ play a t “ K am erad,”

And we’ll still keep inarching along.

A nd when the war is over we will give a hearty cheer,

Yes, when the war is' over we will give a hearty cheer,

A nd erect a W owser s ta tu e to th e m an who stopped our beer,

B ut we’ll still keep m arching along.

The Magazine Competitions.

A num ber of com petitions were pro moted by the M anagem ent Comm ittee in connection with the issue of “ The Bulldogs’ B ark and (censored) L yre ,” and in most cases thcsD were liberally entered into by the members of the Reinforcem ent. The com petitions set were as u n d e r:Competition. Prizes.T itle of M agazine ................. 1 of 5/-iCover design ............................. 1 of 10/-L im e r ic k ........................... 1st 7/6, 2nd 5/-Original Joke ............................. 1 of 5/-H um orous Poem ......... 1st 10/-, 2nd 7/6Cartoon ........................... 1st 10/-, 2nd 7/6O riginal Short Story ............... 1 of 15/-

Four of the en tran ts for the title com petition w ere bracketed as equal, and the prize was increased to ten shillings and divided equally am ongst the winners, namely, Sergt. C. S. Morris, E Com pany; L.-Cpl. Butcher. A C om pany; P rivate S. K. Phillips, A C om pany; and C.S.M. D. F . Coak- ley, A Company. Sergt. W. McKeon, of B Company, won the prize for the cover d esig n ; Corporal Glenn, of E Company, th a t for the best original joke; and P riv a te S. G. Sm ith th a t for the best original story. T he other prize-winners w ere: L im erick : P te . W. J . Simms, B Coy.. 1st; P te. F. II. M app, 2nd. H um orous po em : Cpl. II. Edmondson. D Coy., 1st; P te . A. Goldsmith, B Company, 2nd. C artoon: P te . G. B. I>. Allan, B Coy., 1st: P te. W. K arlsson. E Cov.. 2nd.

The prizes were presented to the various successful com petitors at an im prom ptu concert, held on the eve of arrival at port, by M ajor Finnis, Officer C om m anding the 24th R einforcem ent draft.

Bully's Music,(BY S .K .P.)

H e’s full of surprises—this Bulldog. J u s t consider his iikes and dislikes m music for a mom ent and you will be confronted w ith some astonishing fa c ts ! H is face says he would glory in a grow l—but his expression lies—h e’s actually sen tim ental! Offer him a raucous barrack-room ballad and he'll slowly draw u p his pug nose ju st a little bit furtner, and ask you for "Som ew here a voice is calling.” lL s “ holdfast” gaze may suggest to you tha t he would like to worry through the intricacies of “ Yip-i-addy-i-ay, but no, w hen you try to coax him to yodle its strains he quietly dom ancs '•A B roken Doll.” A t the present m om ent he considers “ The Broken D oll” his musical “ juicy oyster.” Bn! he’s a very fickle youth, and no melody can hope to hold him for ever, l i e still has a tender spot in his h ea rt f> R agtim e and her relations, tho ’ he’ ju s t beginning to regard her with some th ing of the feeling he has for las! year’s shape in hats! B ut for all that, “ R ag s” still provide him w ith h:s musical bread and bu tter, porridge, and bacon and eggs! Oh! he’s a heartless flirt! Only a month ago he vowed his adoration for “ M other M achree ,” and now the widow’s playing only second fiddle, and green w ith jealousy ot “ D olly.” Long ago he loved “ M ary .” bu t he jilted her, th o ’ she was kind and gentle! He has basked in “ Th ■ Sunshine of Y our S m ile,” and has affectionate recollections of “ T he land of long ag o ,” b u t no longer do they thrill him . H e ’s got his little idiosyncrasies, too. Isn ’t he “ eves o u t” for the song th a t starts in a m inor and ends w ith a roar in the m ajor key—like “ The long, long tra i l ,” eh! W hat? A nd doesn’t he like sugar in his music? D on’t his eyes glow with delight when he hears his favourite chords, to o ! How he beams when the supertonic seventh comes th ird from the e n d ! How he loves a G erman sixth, and to show the m ighty volume of his voice th ere’s no th ing to equal a fine, broad-sounding Phrygean ending pitched well u p s ta irs ! ! M y ! doesn’t he “ biff” then? This B ulldog has a graceful tread, too, and enjoys a d an c e; but, will you believe it, he favours a giddy Two-step or Polka, ra the r than a dignified W altz or Quadrille. iSurely he m istakes himself for a F ox-terrier sometimes? B ut now you m ust let mo tell you the nam e of his m asterpiece. Every “ B u lldog” knows it and sings it well, and when you hear a whole kennel full of them singing it together you get little thrills up and down the back. W hat is it, did you say? Oh! i t’s just a slow, simple, grand old tune in trip le tim e, w ritten by Jo h n Bull himself, and is ca lle d :

God Save the K ing.

Disclaimer.I, J . M artyn Wilson, private, “ A ”

'Coy., 24th lift., N .Z .E .F ., wish to in tim ate th a t I am in no way connected w ith Woodrow Wilson, of America.

THE BULLDOGS’ BARK; 5

Ship’s Library.

N E W BOOKS JU S T TO H A N D .

“ The M anufacture of T in Mugs, Soft Mugs, and Enamel W are,” or “ In the H ands of the ‘ P o tte r.’ ” E v “ T he Skipper.” Send early and avoid disappointm ent.

“ Tho Coupon in Relation to the In-- d iv idual,” or “ A Corner in Tinned

M eats.” By “ Rev. M ac.” 2s. per copy; lea ther bound, 2s. 6d.^ “ w eather bound,” 5s.; “ whefe we’re bound” (not fixed yet).

“ How to Organise Concerts, Sports, etc .,” with 200 illustrations. By Lieut. “ J .A .D .” Read testim onial— it speaks for itself.“ Sir,—Enclosed find £5 worth. I

find the pages very suitable for w rapping m eat.—Local B utcher.”

“ R outine Orders M ade E asy.” M ay bo learned in a few m inutes. P ro fusely illustrated. Useful memory hints. A copy should be in every home. By “ T he A d ju tan t.”

“ W hat to do if a Sardine Bites Y ou” (giving several m ethods of tre a tment).

“ How to Act if S tung by a H e rrin g ” (including recipes for tom ato sauce ointment). By the P.M .O.

Letters to the Editor.

T H A T LOST TA R G ET.

To 5Iie E ditor.Sir,—Kindly allow m e space in your

valuable journal to ask a very delicate question. W e have learned th a t certain officers and N .C .O .’s of B Company, who were in charge of th e landing of a m ost valuable craft, to wit, the R einforcem ent’s floating target, neglected to m ake it secure, and lost same.

If this rum our is correct, as we have every reason to believe it is, should the rank and file be penalised by having their long-lo^ked-for canteen bonus fu rth e r clipped to defray expenses? H oping th a t your unbiassed opinion will be satisfactory to all concerned,—I am, etc..

A BEL.(I t is one of the M A N Y privileges of

an O.C. to pay for small things like this, and you need have no fear th a t th e m en’s Canteen F und will be drawn upon.—Ed.)

O U R L IB R A R Y .To th e E d ito r.

Sir,—M any of the bovs em barked on th is trip w ithout much reading m atter. Tho long journey gave us a lot of tim e

on our hands, and I ’d like to say w hat a boon the Troopship L ibrary has proved. A book I got to-day, Jacobs’ “ Castaw ays,” is num bered 354, and I reckon a free library on board ship with over 350 volumes, besides a ripp ing lot of magazines, is no t bad going, and someone deserves a cordial word of thanks. I believe we’re indebted to Chap.-Capt. P etrie for th e idea, and it was due to his efforts p rio r to our sailing th a t the books and magazines were begged or purchased and_ sent on board. Since then he has obtained considerable additions—at least, I judge so, from the acknowledgm ents of books and magazines m ade to various officers and m en th rough R outine Orders. Though there is no Y .M .C .A . on board, we are indebted to th a t institu tion also for tho paper and envelopes brought on board by a Y .M .C .A . representative and distribu ted through the L ibrary . A word of thanks is also due to Serg t. Brainsby for his voluntary work in cataloguing the books, etc., and attending to the working of the L ibrary .—Yours sincerely,

AN A P PR E C IA T O R .

SH O U LD M ESS-O RD ERL IES BE PRO M O TED ?

To the E ditor.S ir,—I a ve orlways th o rt th a t some-

think shood b dun w ith regard 2 the above, so I am arsk in’ th e m en of the R ite W ing, th ro ’ th e kollums ov yore v’alubel paper, wot they reken wood be a fa ir thing.

Take, for instans, the dror-baks ov the job, as it stands a t present. T heir is not a more im portan t job on the ship. Iffy o u dout me, sir, ju s t p itcher to yer- self wot the konsekwenses wood b if won ov those mess-orderlies was to fall down the ladder w ith a dish of stew or rice an ’ proons! its no good ’im goin’ bak 2 the kook for more, cos e wood be told to go 2 ell, an ’ th a t’s a long way from w ere we are at present, jug- in g by the tem prachure lately.

So th a t when th e ship is rockin’ erbout like a_ sargint m ajer at fisicle drill, e as orl is work k u t out, try ing 2 git from the cookouse to the mess-deck, w ithout loosin’ ninety-five persent of the grub.

Ask enny of the m ajers or captins to do it, and they would say s tra it away “ it kan’t be d u n .”

W ot i ses, is, if a p riv it kan do wot a m ajer can’t, then why shood ’e be a privit? Give us a skware deel.—I am, etc.,

P E R M IN IN T M ESS O R D ER LY .

F or Sale.M ellons! M ellons! The first of the

season. Supplied in any quantity .N ote.—These mellons are over-ripe,

and in tending purchasers should not fail to get in a supplv before the warm w eather sets in.—Apply, Mellon E—ton, Mess 22.

Educational.T he names of Pupils for’ the Violin

will be received > between the hours of 12 p.m. and m idnight, for ono week, commencing yesterday.—Apply, Lance G. (The D ream y Fiddler).

LO ST.—Ono Pure-bred Holstein Cow, w ith false teeth. Rew ard.—A ddress, J .B ., D Compans'.

W A N T E D .—A n Experienced D rover; perm anent position for righ t man. —Apply, E Comp'any’s Quarters, at 9 p.m.

W A N TED .—Person who can quickly settle argum ents.—Apply, during lunch hour, Mess 66.

A 24th Bulldog.

“ W ith thy m usket on th y shoulder, T hou sh a lt prove who is the bolder, E re th e m oun tains are m uch older,

Son of m ine.”

6 T H E B U L L D O G S ’ B A R K .

The Pioneer Soldier.(By P rivate. A. Goldfinch, J3 Compaiiy.)

1 am a pioneer soldier, no t looking for a grave,

M other always told me I had a soul to save.

Now they w ant me to go fighting, and tell me this is brave,

B u t I am not a fighting m a n ; I ’d sooner be a slave.

To avoid the (present trouble I ’ve always kept inside,

I f I m et a m an in uniform I always passed him wide,

If I heard somebody reading about tho present w ar

I was always planted carefully behind the nearest door,

B u t the num ber of a m arble and a little no te to say

Y ou have got to be a soldier for five bob a day.

I won’t kill a G erm an, and I couldn’t kill a Turk.

If you don’t like me telling you, then send me back to work.

I ’ll go and see the d o c to r; I ’ll play tho sick parade.

I know he’ll see me coming, bu t the doctor won’t be paid.

M y m ind is quite distrac ted ; I hear the bugle call,

I ’ll go and get m y dinner, bu t my appetite is small.

I couldn’t be an officer, I haven’t got the brains,

A nd to be a soldier like you w ant— well, the blood’s not in my veins,

So w hen I g e t to Cape Town I ’ll try a po t of beer,

I t m ight help to console your troubled pioneer.

In all the nice blue w ater th a t floats our happy (censored),

I 'd take a divo and end it all, bu t I w ant to go to heaven.

I 'd like to Ibe a soldier, w ith my big w arm overcoat,

B uttoned from th e bottom rig h t up to the th roat,

And I ’d like to be a soldier in a nice big easy chair.

B ut when th ere’s any fighting pioneer is missing there.

Ilow they know th at I existed is more than I can tell,

I only know they’ve got me, and I ’d sooner be in hell.

But I ’ll fight like the devil, w ithout the thought of fear,

And wipe out the name and num ber of the old pioneer.

N ow I ’ve given all my hum our and I ’ve given all my wit,

F or the prize th a t you offer and I don’t expect to get,

Though I ’m much in need of silver, since your m ilitary pay

H as come a dirty cropper down to one peg a day.

Amusements.T he dull rou tine of life on board a

■troopship has been considerably b rightened by sports and concerts. The Sports Committee, consisting of Capt. Bett (chairman, Chap.-Capt. P etrie

(fhon. secretary), L ieut. Duffy, 2nd

Lieut. Smith, Sergeants Rosser, F lem ming, and Patterson , has been indefatigable in arranging program m es. U nfortunately no record has been kept of the various contests held, bu t we m ight m ention th a t P te . C. G. Mac- K ay, of A Company, won a gold m edal for the w elter w eight boxing com petition. Contests of m any kinds have been held : .Boxing, Pillow F ighting , Obstacle Race, Lazy Stick, etc., etc., anyth ing in fact, th a t will “ keep the men in terested .” All hands en ter into the sports with fine spirit, and m any hours th a t would otherwise be dull are m ade m erry and brigh t by indulging in the various games. A good supply of quoits and “ indoor g a m e s” was p rovided before our departure, and they are m uch appreciated.

The C oncert Com m ittee comprises L ieut. Duffy, Serg t.-M ajor Jo ll, Sergts. M cK eon and W ebb, Lance-Corpl. F lin t, P riv a tes Phillips and Coyne (hon. secretary).

On our second night a t sea an “ im prom ptu” concert was held. A

num ber of volunteers came forward, and a pleasant evening was spent. A few days la ter an Im prom ptu Speech Competition was held. Seven or eight speakers “ toed the m a rk ” and some very good speeches were made. The prize was aw arded to Pte. K ing, whose subject was “ The M aking of Soap.”

On ------ A pril a g rand concert washeld on the Low er Troop Deck. The program m e was as follows: Selection by the B and ; song, Sergt.-M ajor Jo ll; Scotch song, P riv ate C usack ; euphonium solo, P riv a te M unro ; Songs a t the P iano, P riv a te G ilb e rt; song, Sergt. H a lfo rd ; Scotch dance, P riv a te D y a ck ; recitation, Corpl. E d m onston ; song, P rivate M cG uiness; song. “ The Lay of the 24th ” (published in another column), P riv a te F. D. C oyne; violin solo, P riv a te Robinson; “ R ag tim e ,” P rivates Robson and Cadman. Selection and “ God save the K in g ” by the Band.

On Anzac N igh t another concert was held, the program m e of which appears in our report of th a t day’s proceedings.

A week la ter another concert was held “ below.” T here was almost “ a complete change of p rogram m e”—an indication of the wealth of musical talen t in the 24th Reinforcem ents. This tim e the program m e consisted o f : Two selections by the B a n d ; song by Lance- Corpl. C hild; flute solo, P riv ate W ake- l in ; Russian song, P riv a te R eg as tik ; comic songs, Lance-Corpl. P o p e ; duet, Sister Sm ith and Serg t.-M ajor Jo ll; instrum ental quarte tte , Corpl. Neilson, Lance-Corpl. Osborne, P rivates M unro and Sullivan; recitation , Sergt. W ebb; song, Sergt, K ie ly ; Scotch song. P r i vate C rich ton ; character sketches, Sergt. McKeon.

We are extrem ely fo rtunate in hav ing on board an accompanist of exceeding talen t in P riv a te S. K. P h illips, who is a Bachelor of Music—another illustration of the way B riton ’s sons of every sphere of life are answ ering her call. I t is the C om m ittee’s in ten tion to continue these concerts, which are highly appreciated by everyone, th roughout tho voyage.

Humorous V erse.

(The contributions of the first and second prize-winners of the H u m o r ous Poem com petition appear in th a t order.)

Neptune’s V isit, or Private Shaw ’s Dream,

(By Corporal II . E ., D Company.)

’Twas m idnight on th e vasty deep, The troops below w ere all as lee p ;

The ra ts were rom ping round.The gale was w histling fierce and loud, The m oon had gone behind a cloud,

The darkness was profound.

Beside the “ clink ,” Shaw stood on g u a rd ;

“ A soldier’s life. I t is d----- d h a rd ,”Ho m uttered in the dark.

“ If only N eptune stepped along,Or m erm aid ’guiled me w ith her song,

Or kissed m e—for a la rk .”

J u s t then the m oon shone brigh t and clear,

A voice called in the gloom, “ W hat cheer ?

Ahoy th e re ! by the ‘ clink,’W hat ship is this, to thus, in trude In to my ocean solitude?

H o ! show your pass, or s in k !”

Then up the side K ing N eptune swarmed,

The sentry m uttered , m uch alarm ed, “ This old Sea K ing is gam e .”

“ E n o u g h ! 0 foolish soldier man,O b e y ! or thou shalt feel my ban.

W hat is this vessel’s nam e?”

“ This is t h e ’’(censored). Shaw replied. “ As stout a ship as sails the tide,

H e r pass, the B ritish f la g ;And still, K ing N eptune, if you please, We hold the trid en t of the seas

In spite of Germ an brag. ”

“ ‘Tis w ell,” replied the Sea K ing old, “ Mv trident, Bosch shall never hold.

W hile waves shall b reak and ro a r;I swore it—’twas my plighted word, W hen B rita in ’s sons first drew the

swordOf w ar, by B rita in ’s shore.”

Thinks Shaw, “ I m ust resume my beat, ”

W hen N ep tune took a header neat And sought his coral c a v e ;

“ Adieu ! Adieu ! bold soldier m ine,I ’ll see you when you cross th e Lino,

And trea t you—to a shave!”

“ I t was no dream ,” the sentry said, “ I saw the Sea K in g ’s hoary h e a d ;

(Just _then_ a m eteor fell)I saw his trid en t gleam ing b rig h t.” . . . Tho ship sped onward through the

night,Tho w atchm an cried, “ All’s w e ll!”

THE BULLDOGS’ BARK. 7-

The Orderly Sergeant.(C ontributed by J im O’Brien, A.B.)

Who is it rises a t break of day,L ets the icy-breeze round the troop-

deck playA nd hustles poor Tommies 011 “ gym .”

parade,O n. the open deck or the draughty

glade?W ho roars and rages when he gets

them there,W ith his “ S m arter y e t!” and his “ As

you w e re!”And shouting commands till his nose

turns' blue,T hreatens “ extra fa tigue” or a “ two

five two ” ?W ho grows eyes in the back of his

head,A nd shouts “ Knees u p ,” till we wish

we were dead ?Ask any soldier th a t you may see, H e ’ll tell you straight, with a g reat

big “ D .,”I t ’s the Orderly Sergeant.

B ut tell me now—who is the man T hat keeps the P latoon spick and span, A nd looks i t over with eager eye,Till there’s never a bu tton or boot lace

awry ?W ho, for guard-m ounting qr C.O. s

paradeT o every b lighter plays lady’s maid, A nd who gets, full measure, the

A d ju tan t’s scorn F or d irty boots or pu ttee torn?Ask any josser w ith chevrons three— Regardless of gram m ar he’ll say, “ I t ’s

M e” ;A nd the G.'S.M. will claim ’tis he,B ut the tru th , and naught else, you

shall have from m e :I t ’s the Orderly Sergeant.

W ho gets strafed by the great S .M ., F o r the fault of all, be they non-coms,

or men?A nd who is expected to know off-hand I-Iow m any teetotallers there are in the

band ?Who is it th a t labours from early till

lateW ith “ D eta il” and “ R oste r” and

“ D uty S ta te ,”A nd renders “ R e tu rn s ,” re all m anner

of things.F rom birth-m arks on “ rookies” to

serviette rings?And who, despite all these troubles and

caresGets up on his hind legs and boldly

declaresT h at the “ pride of the reg im ent,” “ the

pick of the L in e ,”Is only one Company, and th a t one’s

mine ?T h at’s the Orderly Sergeant.

" Write Home First."“ As cold waters to a th irsty soul; so

is good news from a far coun try .” W riting paper and envelopes to be

had on application a t the L ibrary.The censors guarantee the quantity .

W e guarantee the quality.“ K eep the ‘ H om e F ir e s ’ bu rn in g .”

G. S. M IT C H E L L In tends' giving a L E C T U R E shortly

to his own company on the W ar, u-specially the part played by the Jaw s.

Why not be a Lance- Corporal

And M IX with T H E B EST?A re you C ontent to be a Mess Orderly

and perm anently carry fatty fragm ents of Y esterday’s D inner under your finger nails, or will you be one of the M EN T H A T M A T T E R and have the righ t to wear a

S T R IP E ON Y O U R PY JA M A S?If you have a soul above Cookhouse Fatigues, send for Circular describing our Special Correspondence Course, by which in

SIX EA SY LESSO N S, w ithout in terfering with your present employment, we can teach you how to

obtain M IL IT A R Y G LO RY

IN Y O U R OW N HOM E.

Address Box 1, 2: 1, 2; 1, 2; c.o. This Office.

Jottings.In case of emergency Corporal

K ane’s section can always be found round the canteen and Corporal Ilen- shaw’s sm oking up in No. 1.

P rivate Thom pson begs to acknowledge receipt of a lette r from the Im perial Army Council, thanking him for enlisting.

E xtract from a lecture by Sergt. M oore 011 “ T he care of a rifle” : “ Y our rifle is your best friend. T ake every care of it. T reat it as you would your wife. R ub it all over w ith an oily rag every d ay .”

LOST overboard, the stew of Mess 44.—F inder rew arded on' applying to Robin.

TO L E T .—Two sets of ham m ock hooks. Lovely sea view.—Apply Corporal com m anding Mess 44.

Wanted.W A N T E D .—Q.M.S. urgently re

quires assistant, who can p artly satisfy troops.

W A N T E D .—Several expert ligh tweight boxers, to keep “ B rick ie,” of 20 P latoon, in the pink of condition.

W A N TED TO R E N T , by robust P rivate, a few feet hammock space.— Apply, any platoon.

LOST, from Mess 66, K arlsson’s hammock, num ber 701.—F inder please claim prom ised reward.

LOST, from Mess 66, many spoons, knives and forks. New owners expected to g e t indigestion.

E X C H A N G E .—P rivate wishes to exchange fountain pen (ink unprocurable) for a few cakes of sea soap or a real good plum pudding.

Advertisement.

T H E B U B BLE BA N K .

A uthorised C apital .................U nlim ited.Paid-up Capital... ... ...U m teen million

sterling canteen tickets. Half-warly dividend ...F or officials only.

A branch of the above Bank is now open for risky business 011 board H .M .T . (Censored) daily, bar Sundays, in the L ibrary, 8 to 9.30 a.m.

All classes of banking business mishandled. M embers of the Force are earnestly requested to deposit their super-abundant pay with us;"w e guaran tee them half the am ount of th e ir deposits a t journey’s end.

L etters of C redit and o ther issue by the Q uarterm aster will be negotiated a t half their apparent value.

C. McC a r t h y , Director.L. B. SAVAGE, Accountant.W. A BRO W N , Cashier.

Peanuts’ Hairdressing Saloon,

LA D IE S ’ H A IR D R E S S IN G A SPE C IA L IT Y .

Shaving. Razor-setting.Ila ircu ttin g . Electric Massage.

Corns Cured. Bunions Removed. Shampooing.

Boys of the (Censored).—H aircutting Free. W hile you wait. V isit the troop shower between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m.

“ P ean u ts” Smith,Ship’s Barber.

I S I S S H A V I N G S T I C K Gives a Creamy L ath e r in

F R E E Z IN G W A TER. DON’T GET

ON T H E M A T !! Borrow your Cobber’s P annik in

and useI S I S S H A V I N G S T I C IC.

M A SSEY ’S DefiesC H E E SE Description.

M A SSEY ’S For Balls andBOOTS Garden P arties.

M A SSEY ’S AlwaysL U N C H E S the same.

M A SSEY ’S A re muchJA M S spoken about.

M A SSEY ’S Have beenCLO TH ES Know n to F it.

M A SSEY ’S AERO- F o r SeaP L A N E H A T S V oyages

THE BULLDOGS' BARK.

Limericks Competition.P rivate Sims, B Company, won the

first prize in the above com petition with the fo llow ing:Our opinion of B run ton is high, *On a route m arch he’s awfully sly;

W hen a girlie comes near H e drops to the rear

To give the dea r kid the Glad Eye.Second prize was aw arded to the

w riter of th is:T he Be.ef in New Zealand’s a trea t And th e M utton ’s still harder to b e a t;

I t ’s a puzzle to me.A nd I still fail to see,

W hy they feed us on A rgentine m eat.

A large num ber of Limericks were sent in for the com petition, and also a num ber “ F o r Exhibition O nly .” A selection from the whole is p rin ted below and elsewhere in the M agazine:M r. Duffy, B Company’s O.C.,Is a m an we esteem, you’ll a g re e ;

H e im parts to the Boys The dubious Joys

Of “ C ulture P hysique” and C.B.There is an O.C., J .A .D .,

W ho lost a big rope in the sea;The shock nearly killed him,B ut the_ dispenser will save him,

As he is giving him dopes, don’t you see.

In “ G. ” . th e re ’s a sergeant nam ed P a t,

W ho’s a, snorter a t d rillin ’ an’ that,B ut a t pho-tog-rapheeH e ’s fa ir champion, yer see.Y ou’ll take our “ phiz,” now, won’t

yer, P a t ?

T here’s a gay sergeant-m ajor named Jack,

W ho served in the N avy, while back, E v ’ry m orning at six H e’s , up" to his trix ,“ Tum ble o u t.”—Oh! we’ll never get

slack.

T here was a lieu tenant called Craig, W ho w ent out to F rance to help H a ig ;

The K aiser said “ Ilo ch !You gif m e a shock;

I tink you vas vorse dan der p lague.” There was a young m an called

M cC art’y,Who a t Featherston felt none too

hearty,So we left him behind,B u t a t T rentham he joined,

And came on w ith “ A ” Comp’ny’s rear party .

T here was once a lieu tenan t called Probble,

W ho used to be quite on the level, B u t o h ! W hat a shame,H e a soldier became,

And now he has gone to the d----- 1.T here once was a S ister nam ed R uth , W ho complained of a troublesom e tooth.

W hen she started cry in ’,They called Captain Ryan,

W ho the p ain in her m olar did soothe. There was once a Sister named G rant, W ho when asked to play quoits said

“ I can’t . ”The C aptain said he W ould teach her, bu t she

Most ungraciously said “ Teach your aunt. ”

On the Wallaby again.(By P te . Jas. Sm ith , G Coy.)

No. 1.The grass is green and grow ing, and

the year is w earing on,And the fogs and frosts of w inter and

the storm y days are gone,A nd the poison gangs are broken and

th e cheques are mostly done,A nd the m en are going N orthw ard to

the springtim e and the sun,To p u t in the tim e till shearing on the

stations on the plain,C adging round w ith swag and billy on

the W allaby again.

No. 2.T hey’ll be talk ing of the harvest, they ’ll

be looking for a shed,A nd the joys of life will centre round

the m utton and the b re a d ;And the hard cases will gather, on the

lonely m utton track,Telling yarns of breezy venture to the

stations a t the back.B y the hom esteads of the cookies, by

the gum trees on the plains,C adging round w ith swag and billy on

the W allaby again.

No. 3.T hey’ll be tallish stories telling of the

moneys th a t was made,And the cheques knocked down in

dozens by the Publicans’ B rig a d e ; And the finest bit of landscape will be

looking pre tty blue,To the joker th a t is telling how the

spieler pu t him th ro u g h ;A nd the pipeful of tobacco will be

sought for all in vain,In the em pty trousers pocket on the

W allaby again.

No. 4.T here will be ten ts am ong the willows,

where T em uka’s waters flow ; T hey’ll be billies boiled in shelter when

the loud no r’-westers b lo w ;And the circle of the stations will be

noted like a book,From the cornfields around Long Beach

to tho shadow of M ount Cook,In the wilderness of Tarndale and the

broad Anv«iri plain,The same old crowd will m uster on tho

W allaby again.

No. 5.In the flax beside the river I 'l l be

m easuring tho sun,I ’ll be looking a t the ploughm an till

his daily work is done,T ill i t ’s tim e to m ake the hom estead for

the shakedown and a feed,And the chance to find a joker with a

pipeful of the w eed ;Sailing up w ith bluey hoisted to the

station on the plain,M en of every tribe and action on the

W allaby again.

Anzac Day on Board.

“ LE ST W E F O R G E T .”The second anniversary of Anzac Day

broke cold and cheerless, bu t tow ards nine o’clock the sun m ado a very wel

come appearance. O rders had been issued th a t the day was to bo observed as a holiday from the reg u la r routine.

A short "combined m em orial service, conducted by Chaplain C ap tain P etrie , was held at ten o’clock. The hymns, “ Lead, K indly L ig h t,” and “ God of the L iv ing ,” w ere sung by all hands, assembled on the af te r well-deck.

M ajor F innis (O.C. D raft), in a short address, re ferred feelingly and stirrin g ly to the glorious m ilitary achievem ent perform ed at G allipoli tw o years ago. H e exhorted the m em bers of th e 24th Reinforcem ents to “ P lay the gam e” and live up to the g rea t nam e m ade for the Colonial soldiers by the Anzacs. I t was only by fa ithfu l a tten tion to the instructions of the officers and N .C .O .’s th a t they could do this—aided by strict self-discipline and clean living. The M ajor also advised the m en to “ K eep sm iling” in face of danger and hard ship, and thereby p rove by th e ir good work when they reach the F ro n t that they were w orthy successors of those who had gone before.

C apt. P o tte r (O.C. Troop) also spoke a few words. H e paid a fine trib u te to the comrades of the Anzacs—the Irish , English, Scotch, F rench and In dian troops, whose work was also grand and m em orable during the whole cam paign.

L ieut. J . D. McComish, who, afte r serving on G allipoli and being wounded and invalided, is now re tu rn in g to th e front, acknowledged th e trib u tes paid to the Anzacs. H e said his feelings to-day w ere of m ingled sorrow and pride. Sorrow for the loss of so m any comrades, and p ride in having been one of those who took p a r t in th e operations on Gallipoli. The Anzacs w ere a g rea t band of - b ro thers, both Australians and New Zealanders being a t one in giving th e “ o ther fellow ” the lion’s share of th e glory. H e concluded by reciting the following verses —taken from “ London P u n ch ” —a trib u te to the original Anzacs:T here are plen ty of slouch-liatted

soldiers in town,Doughty and debonair, s talw art and

b ro w n ;Some are from W eym outh or Salisbury

• P lain,Others have “ p u s h e d ” in the W estern

cam paign.Call them “ overseas soldiers” or

“ dow n-under m en ,”Declare th a t each one is as daring as

te n ;Call them “ Cornstalks” or “ Fern -

leaves”—all out fo r a fight—B ut don’t _ call them Anzacs, for tha t

isn’t righ t.

The Anzacs—their ranks are but scantv all told—

H ave a separate record illum ined in gold.

T heir blood on Gallipoli’s ridges they poured,

T heir souls w ith the scars of that struggle aro scored:

N ot m any are left, and not m any are sound,

And thousands lie buried ’neath T urk ish ground.

These are the A nzacs: the others may claim

T heir zeal and th e ir sp irit, bu t never th e ir name.

8

THE BULLDOGS’ BARK. 9

The buglers then sounded the “ Last P o st,” all ranks standing at “ a tten tion ” in silent trib u te to those_ gallant fellows who had given their lives for Em pire on Gallipoli Peninsula. The 24th R ft .’s Band played “ Comrades in Arm s,” and the ceremony concluded •with a short p rayer and “ God Save the K ing .”

In the afternoon sports w ere held, the prize-Avinners b e in g :

Leg T rip .—H eavyw eights : P te. W aring, A Company. L igh tw eigh ts: P te. McDonald, B Company.

Lazy Stick.—Heavyw eights : Lance- C orpl. Eustage, B Company. L ig h t H eavyw eights: P te . Ecclestone, E Company. L igh tw eigh ts : P te. Caley, B Company.

A Blindfold Boxing competition was also held, and caused a lot of am usem ent, each of the eight com petitors being aw arded a prize. M usical item s by the band enlivened the program m e. A t night a grand concert was held on the Low er T roop Deck. Two- selections were given by the band. Songs by P te. Clarke and Sergt. Thayer, vocal duet by Sergt. M cKeon and Lance-Corpl. Pope, cornet duet by Corpl. Neilson and Lance-Corpl. Osborne, comic songs by P te. Glen and Lance-Corpl. Pope, “ songs a t the p iano ,” by Corpl. Bul- lot, recitation by P te . Pearson, an exhibition of hypnotism by P te. W eaver, and “ Y arns” by L ieut. McComish and 2nd Lieut. Smith. The concert concluded w ith “ God Save the K ing ” by the Band.

The following is a copy of a Souvenir M enu C ard given to the members of the Officers’ Mess a t d in n e r:

ANZAC DAY, A P R IL 25, 1917.

F E D E R A L STEA M N A V IG A TIO N COM PANY, L IM IT E D , LONDON.

M EN U :Siivla B ay Broth.

Plaice a la F isherm an’s H ut.Achi B aba H are and K rith ia Jelly .

Gallipoli Goose and Anzac Sauce.Bully Beef and Biscuits.

R azor Back M utton.Salt Lake Beef and Chocolate Hill

C arrots“ Sparrow-grass ” a la Daisy Patch.“ M urphies ” from W alker’s Ridge

I and Table Top.P lugge’s P la teau Pudding.

Gaba Tepe Jelly.Chirnuk B air Custard.

Cheese “ a t the double.”Oranges from Shrapnel Gully.

Apex apples. • Rhododendron Ginger. Cape Ilelles Tea. Cafe' a la fari Bair.

N uts from/ Sniper’s Ridge.R um from Quinn’s Post (I don’t think). Guests desiring cigars o r fizz will please

provide their own.C igars 2d. Limejuico’ and Soda 6d.

A t the Canteen.

(This- brought, to a close a day which will live long in the m em ory of every m em ber of the R igh t W ing of tho 24th Rfts. A day on which the minds and hearts of all on board harked back oyer the intervening two years to th a t first Anzac Day, when our Colonial soldiers —the real Anzacs—m ade a nam e for themselves and their countries .which will live for all time, not only in the history of the Em pire, bu t in the history of the whole world.

The Men o£ Anzac.(By P riv a te A. Goldfinch, B Company.)

W e love our K ing and country and the freedom of the law,

A nd go to the ir assistance the way we’ve done b e fo re ;

W e owe them our existence from where our fa thers came,

And w e’ll fight like m en of Anzac to uphold our fa th e r’s name.

Chorus.W e’ve journeyed m any thousand miles

across the deep blue sea,L eft those we loved behind us in our

native country,To join the Alliied forces and hold our

liberty ,W e’re out against the K aiser and we’re

out for yict'ory;

We gave our best of manhood, our . tim e and money too,I t ’s the cost tlia t m akes our glory to

Britons, loyal and .tru e ; . .Old B rita in and her Allies linked to :

ge the r h ea rt and Hand L ike one g rea t m ighty nation; victors

both on sea and laiid. ,

Our Anzac m en have m ade a name th a t’s known b o th . far and wide,

W e do not boast b u t hold them up as . - every m other’s pride,W e’re proud of all their fathers, too;

th e ir sw eethearts aiid the ir wives, W ho suffered deep and silent foi; those

tli&t gave th e ir lives. r

W hile we keep our Allied forces at the ir several millions strong

T here’s nothing oiit to stop us, boys, w e’ll keep them m oving on,

A nd keep the K aiser counting, in doubt about the tim e ;

H e won’t sing when this w ar is o’er of ta rry ing oh t h e ’Rhine. ~sO;.

A lleged Conundrums.W herein shall palsied frog be likened

unto the Q uarterm aster of the dry ship (censored).

V erily, though lie. ailpth, he lacketh hops, albeit he be' nigh' unto the bier th a t his "soul' desireth.

W hy did th e C ap ta in ’s ’rh u b a rb T a r tBecause the Blanc. M ange w aiter

wouldn’t let' him.,

W ho does t h e ' most dialling on the ship?

The Dentist. :

Honour or a Grave.A dieu, our dear H o m eland! R ed W ar

bids us sever The links th a t have bound us so

closely to thee ;The loved ones we leave. H ave we left

them for ever?Shall our hopes, our fond dreams, as

nothingness ibe?W e know not, n d r care, so tho p a rt we

are playing Be w orthy the great ones we follow—

the braveWho rushed to tho onset, the war drums

obeying—W ho sleep where they fell . . . in a

w arrior’s grave.They knew when iii thunder the dcath-

bolts were flying,T hat m any would m ourn in the land

of the ir b i r th ;God of B attles! They fought for us

then, and in dying Defied the H u n plotters, who covet

the earth .Now our thousands stand firm on the

battlefields gory,W e’ll fight till our foemen f o r . mercy

shall c rave;W e’ll anarch ever onward, united, to

g lory! 'England’s honour be ours . . .. or a

w arrior’s grave.—Corpl: II: E., D Coy;


A source of m uch pleasure to all on board has been the music of our Band. W e call i t “ o u r” Band, b u t in reality i t is A C oy.’s Band, because the m em bers of A Coy. collected from their friends the money which purchased the instrum ents, and most of tho Band mem bers belong to A Coy. U nder B andm aster W ebb they have worked hard, and have now come to a state of efficiency it would be hard to beat. They are ever-ready to give of the ir best, and g rea t indeed is the enjoym ent we all derive. The following is a list of the B and’s R o ll :

L.-Sgt. A. F. W ebb (Bandmaster), L.-Cpl. Osborne (Deputy Bandm aster), L.-Cpl. Booth (Librarian),P te . W ild (A ssistant Librarian), B ugler Sergt. Stevenson, Opl. Neil-

son, Cpl. Lam b. P rivates B lanchett, Shepherd, M aber, Sm ith, Eccles, B rooker, P arry , F iler, F arth ing , M unro, '.Sullivan, M adden, Payne, Chapm an, Gilbert, Sadm an, K irth , H arding, H arris.

The Band.T H E BA N D .

Of all the things which we may w rite In reference to th is, ocean flight,And of things we’ll do when we’re on

land,P lease don’t forget “ A ” Coy.’s Band. W hen tired after a hard day’s drill, T hey cheered us with a m erry rill, And when they played the Oraigielee T he smile on “ C raig” was good to see. And now we’re sailing in this craft, T hey often give us “ H alf and H a lf .” W hat though its one chrom atic run?I t gives the boys a lot of fun.They have not got a Wicks, or Stead, B u t have a Sergeant W ebb instead, And when he’s beating out the time, T heir play ing really is sublime.I ’d like to give each lad a m ention, F o r they play with the very best in ten

tion,But, I know they’ll understand If we cheer! and cheer! “ A ” Coy.’s

Band.L.-Corpl. OSBORN E.

T H E BA N D .Our good old Band has done its best To cheer the boys am ong the rest,W ith rousing m arch and tunefu l air,I t makes you feel th a t you don’t care. W hen on the boast, we m ade a start, And from our friends we had to part, W e smiled ; and then they did the sam e And shouted: “ H u rry back ag a in .” And now for m any w eary days,W e’ve looked on nothing but the waves, B ut still we’ve had a lot of “ p lay ,” W hich helps to drive dull care away. A nd soon to F rance we’ll have to go, A nd they will find we’re no t too slow ; W e’ll do our part, w ith all our might,. And show the Gei’m ans w e can fight. And when a t last the w ar is done, And we have finished w ith the H un, W e’ll pack our kits* and m arch away, And proudly shout, “ W e’ve won th e

day .”P te . D. G IL B E R T ,

A Coy.

Every Evening at 8.

Gigantic Circus !Lower Troop Deck—No. 3 H atch.

U nder the direction of R ingm aster W EBB (F.O.O.T.).

COME AN D SE E The Trained Animals Perform ing

on C o rn e ts!

N ever before in the history of the (Censored) has such a talented com bina

tion been gathered to amuse the p u b lic! One glance at our list of perform ers will suffice to convince even the m ost sceptical. Read for yourself, and judge. Don Ju a n Gilberto.—Tho w orld’s won

der on tho E b Bass.Sir W alter H indm an.—T h e dark-skinned

R agtim e A rtist.Rua, the P ro p h et.—Gipsy C lairvoyant

and P ianist.R oberta M adina.—Shakespearean Com e

dian in “ Y e Olde H am bone.”Mons. Sullivani.— Fam ous C haracterisa

tion of “ M ary A n n .”Steve (ex-Bushranger).—L ate of Lyric

Club, T rentham .

John P arry .—In “ T he V illage Blacksm ith .”

Georgivus M unrova.—Talented Euphonium Soloist.

Concluding with a Scream ing Farce, entitled,

“ 0 . U . L Y R E , V .C .”

By Messrs. Wild, Osborne, Payne, Chapm an, Filer, M aber, Booth, Eccles. H arding, K irk . Sm ith, Sliep-

• herd, Lam b, B lanchett, Farthing,, (of Invercargill).


“ Ginger” and his Hour of ̂ Glory.

By SY D N E Y SM ITH .

It was n igh t between decks. Jibe and re to rt had dwindled down un til tho muffled th rob of the engines and the creaking of the vessel as she thrust her way through the w ater were the only sounds audible.

In the faint ligh t of the lower deck the dark forms of the sleepers were barely visible.

“ S a ltw a te r” Bill was snoring with a deep, resonant note, accompanied by Billy Kendall in a lig h te r key.

Suddenly a voice cut the silence.“ Ted ! Ted ! Get up —it’s d ay lig h t! ”Ronny R ichardson, the m an of the

smiling face, was talk ing to his brother thousands of miles away, and dream ing of getting up to take his usual course through the day’s work on the farm.

Quiet again, though the note of the rising wind as i t tore through the rig g ing was penetrating through to the lower deck.

Then the silence was ‘again broken. “ G inger ” Lessington, the hardest “ nu t ” on board, was talking—calling out, gently, “ Doris ! Doris ! ”

'Ginger stood on the deck, watching the Cliffs of D over as they came into sight.

A long way had G inger come, and this was his first long sea voyage. Some of his m ates had looked ra th e r forlorn fo r . a day or two after leaving their native co u n try : he had experienced only a feeling of adventure into the unknown. E ver since ho had been a boy at school a longing for travel had held him in its thrall. H av ing ties a t home which p revented his giving way to this nomadic instinct, he had been forced up to now to curb th is call.

G inger was in his element. S trange sights, the enormous size of crowds, and other spectacles which ho had heard of bu t no t thought to see,_ all impressed him in th is new land. H is first trip to London was an event in his life, and made a great im pression on his mind.

H aving an afternoon off from work one day, he suddenly felt the need of . solitude. M aking his way to a station dose by, he took out a ticket for a little village which he had heard m entioned by a friend.

On arrival there he le t his glance wander round. Almost ahead of him was a cool-looking lane, winding along through a s tretch of overhanging trees. W ithout a second’s hesitation he stepped briskly towards it.

A n hour later G inger was climbing over a fence into a field of long grass. D ropping down, he laid himself out straight, w ith his head on a little mound of earth .

T aking a packet from h is pocket, he extracted some sandwiches and biscuits, and proceeded to m ake short work of these while gazing up into the blue expanse above. Ginger was feeling in a mood of great contentm ent, and a soothing smoke after his repast completed his enjoym ent.

H is eyes were gradually closing, and the smoke had ceased to curl up from his pipe, when the peaceful atm osphere

was shattered by the sound of something colliding with the road. Following this came a shriek in a feminine voice.

G inger, w ithout wasting a m inute, went tearing towards a bend around which had come the sound of distress.

A rriv ing there, he saw a pretty-looking girl of about nineteen ly ing on the ground. Beside h er was a battered cycle, and it was evident’ th a t she had skidded into a deep ru t close by, and been throw n from her m ount.

“ A re you h u rt badly?” anxiously asked G inger, and, stooping, he put his arm s around her body and lifted her to a sitting position.

“ I think my foot' is spra ined ,” she replied, and tu rned a pa ir of beautiful brow n eyes upon th e concerned young m an before her. She attem pted to rise, bu t found th a t tho in jured foot would not stand the strain.

s; The only ^tiling fo r you to do," said G inger, “ is to lean on my shoulder and let m e help you to your h o m e; th a t is, if "it’s near h e re .”

“ I t ’s only a couple of hundred yards from here ,” re turned the girl. “ My fa the r is M r. M aitland, and we live in th a t house yoii can see am ongst those trees over there. ”

W ith his assistance the girl was able to cover the short distance. Going through the gate which led up to an imposing mansion, they w ere m et by a m iddle-aged lady of aristocratic bearing, who cried out when she saw them , “ W hatever is th e m atter, D oris?”

The girl explained her accident and th e p art G inger had taken in coming to her assistance. M rs. M aitland in sisted on the abashed young m an c o m -’ ing into tea, and would brook no re fusal of her invitation..

D uring the meal both M r. M aitland and h is 'w ife asked him to come down and stay when ho had some tim e free, and, catching a glance from a pair of brow n eyes, he said he would be very pleased to do so.

T hree weeks slowly passed by, and G inger was told th a t he would be g ran ted four days’ furlough. The thought of tho inv ita tion given, him by the M aitlands was present in his m ind, and lie decided to send them a w ire announcing he was coming for a

- couple of days.H is holiday period there simply flew

by. Doris seemed only too pleased to be in his company, and the whole family united the ir voices in ge tting him to assent to staying th e rem aining po rtion. G inger, catching the w istful look in the brow n eyes of Doris, didn’t m ake m uch of a struggle to refuse th e ir wish.

On the last day of his furlough he was sitting out in the garden with Doris close beside him. H e had just finished saying good-bye to her when he was startled by the sound of a sob. T urn ing to her he saw th a t her eyes w ere wet' w ith tears.

A storm of feeling swept over him. B ending, he placed his arm around her shoulders, and was ju st about to kiss her on her rich red lips when-----

G inger pulled himself together. H is head had struck a corner of the mess- table, bu t had only raised a lump.

Gazing around he could see the ham mocks in the dim ligh t of the lower

deck. H is own one, out of which he had fallen, was still swaying w ith the momentum.

Over in the corner “ S altw ater” was snoring in a loud, resonant voice.

As he climbed back painfully to his bed G inger swore soulfully bu t sorrowfully at the w orld in general.

An Awkward Alphabet.A is for Albatross, swift in our wake.B for the B utter, which none of us

take.C for the Captain, w ith gold on his

cuff.D is for Drill, we’ve had quite

enough.15 for the Engines, which v ibrate and

roar,F for the Fun when we next go

ashore.G for the Gun, which we have rig h t

astern.I I is for “ H oldfast,” encircled with

fern.I is the Island which knows not de

feat.J is the Jam , which we take almost

“ n ea t.”Iv ’s “ K ia O ra” to those left behind.L for the L ights—they’re dashed hard

to find.M is the M ixture they sometimes

call stew.N for the Nurses—we’ve only got two.0 for tho Officers, they should come

next.P for the Parson, who gives us the

- ' ■ - text.Q for th e Questions, which come thick

■ aiid fast.R ’s R einforcem ents, and we’re not

. the last.S ' is a couplet—“ Soldiers and S tew .”T for the Tales which so often come

through.U is the brand- of the tin-fish we’ll

fight. _ , .V for the V ict’ry almost in sight.W ’s the W ater, in which we have

drownedX, Y , and Z, for no rhymes could be

found.—Pvt. Thom as F. Mills, “ G ” Coy.

Maoriland.(To the tune of “ L ittle Grey H om e.” ) T here are two little isles in the South, And they’ll always be dearest to me,

W here the sunshine always Encircles .th e days

A nd laughs on th e g litte ring sea.T he land of m anuka and fern,W here the K ow hai’s cups catch the

sun’s gold.W here the beautiful earth H as smiled _ since -its (birth,

A land th a t will never grow old. Star-crowned by the Southern Cross. Bush-clad on each valley and height,

W here the days follow fast,And the seasons slip past.

And life is a purp le delight.A land which will always be Home, No m atter how fa r I m ay bo,

A rich, sm iling land,W ith gifts in each hand.

F a ir gem of the Southern Sea.—Pvt. T. F . M ills, “ G ” Coy.

T h e Bo y s o f t h eWORDS BY

SERGEANT BRAINSBY.

T w e n t y -Fo u r t h . MUSIC BY

S. KENNETH PHILLIPS.


Number 2 Platoon.E dito r’s N ote.—W hen this poem came

to hand i t consisted of 24 stanzas. We have been unable to find space for the ■whole of the contribution, so have made a selection from am ongst the num ber. (We are told by our officers to take

soldierly pride in ourselves, our Company arid our Platoon, and to hold they are the best.)

W hen first I joined the tw enty-fourths T hey granted me- a boon

By posting m e am ongst the boys Of N um ber 2 P latoon.

Our O.C. is a specialist Of muscle and of thew,

A nd so like clay in P o tte r’s hand H e’s moulded N um ber 2.

O ur officer’s a gentlem an,Thoughtful, unselfish, t r u e ;

Respected well by every man W ho drills in N um ber 2.

T hey’re simply lea the r and steel springs W ho drill in Two P la toon ;

The slowest m an—who’s w riting th is— Jum ps h igher th an the moon.

Perhaps you th ink th a t if he did H e ’d have a nasty fa l l ;

F rom w hat I 'v e read about tho moon I t cannot jum p at all.

The noble a r t of self-defence Our N um ber 2 has scored,

W hen “ M ac” the m edal won outright, T he best his w eight on board.

B ut best of all, we’ve men who fight, A nd not alone for fa m e ;

God and Home, and Love and R ight, A nd glory- in H is name.

Such m en will surely win the war,Or help to, very soon ;

New Zealand's shore will hear some more Of N um ber 2 Platoon.

So with this w arning line I ’ll skip, ’Tis tim e to bid a d ie u ;

J u s t feed them well—they’ll fight like hell.

The lads in N um ber 2.

A Tribute to the N.Z.E.F.(By J IM O’B R IE N , A.B.)

Y ou’re doing your bit for Old England,..Y ou’ve nobly answ ered th e call;

Y ou’re pleased with the p a r t you’re playing

In the job th a t demands us all.

Y ou’ve changed the tweed for tho khaki,

To serve with the rank and file;As your comrades are gladly serving,

Y ou know it’s w orth tho while.

W hat of the stay-at-hom e slackers, H ave they never a word to say?

W hat have they done for Old England? L et them ask of th e ir hearts to-day.

W hen they read th e roll of honour Of living and dead—w hat then?

Does a voice w ith in approve them As fit to be ranked w ith m en?

For, if in Old E ngland’s glory E ach soldier m ust claim his share,

Thon he who would shirk his duty/H is b u rd e n . of sham e m ust bear.

A TributeTO T H E COM RADES W E R E IN

FO RCE.

H onour to them and hero-worship. W hen tho war-cloud burst and our Em pire had sore need of her sons, they w ere not found w anting. D uring the first sanguinary months how well they w ithstood the to rre n t of the H u n in vasion. N ever have the splendid trad itions of our race been more gloriously upheld, never have H onour, L iberty and T ru th had more w orthy champions M any have fallen—they sleep beneath the skies of Gallipoli, and F rance, and F landers. In our own dear land there are tears and breaking hearts for these, our illustrious d e a d ; b u t those who m ourn shall be ■comforted by the radiance of a transfigured m em ory. ,

These, then, are the men who lead u s ; and if we can only be w orthy of them , if we can fight as courageously and endure hardships as they did, we shall have done our duty.—Corpl. II .E ., “ D ” Company.

The Sergeants’ Club.Probably the most popular and best-

attended institu tion on board is the Sergeants’ Club. Tho room is fitted w ith every convenience, b u t th e seating accommodation is som ewhat lim ited. However, a fine sp irit of unselfishness prevails, and everyone has his tu rn for . a few m inutes of w ell-earned rest. A nother direction in which im provem ent could be effected is the lite ratu re, which at tim e of w riting has about rim out. One very; pleasing feature of the Club is th a t some one or other is always dropping in, so th a t things are never' dull. In order to ensure th a t no un authorised persons obtain admittance- afte r 6 p.m ., a “ Tattoo_ P ara d e” is held every night> a t which the password for tho next n ight is arranged. The rule is very strict on _ th is subject. A wireless p lan t has been installed, and all the latest news is received w ith the gi’eafest possible accuracy. Largo crowds m uster outside the C lub every n igh t to get the latest despatches. Tho news received is absolutely up -to -da te; in fact, we have heard i t said th a t i t is “ som etimes” ante-date. The Club’s P oet L aureate has just called w ith the following “ P oem ,” and, af te r reading it, wo have decided th a t there is no th ing fu r th e r for us to. write.

The Sergeants1 Hymn of Fate.

l.T here is a Sergeants’ Club

N ot fa r away.W here the boys all congregate,

A ny tim e of day.Among the Sergeants we have there, M en of fame from everyw here;B u t when th e re ’s danger in the air

• T hey’re far, far away.

In our little S ergeants’ Club,N ot fa r away.

T here is held a Staff P arade Twice every day.

The password’s taken a t the door B y the lengthy Sergeant Moore, Like the routine as of yore,

Far, far away.

3.

In the num bers of our club,N ot fa r away.

T here are Sergeant-M ajor Jack , Scottio, Joll, and Bray.

W e have stripes from every corps, Policem en, Dentists, B and—galore, All on the ir way to war,

Far, far away.

T here is no C hairm an of our club,N ot fa r a wav.

N o chair for him —(that’s the rub),Sad, sad to say.

The m an for the job is Bunny Evan, B rightest Non-Gom. on the (Censored). Sure! H e’s like a glimpse of heaven,

F ar, far away.

5.

The brass-boy’s stew ard of our club, N o t far away.

H e m akes us change our “ Coates ” T hree tim es a day.

H e supplies tho W ireless news,And he says th e re ’s lots of booze— Takes his oath th is is “ fair doo’s ’’—

Far, far away.

6 .

A m ong the mem bers of our club. N o t fa r away.

Coakley, Falconer, K iely, “ M ac,” A ttend every day.

M ahoney represents th e Gun,Of his shooting wo m ake fun,F or his shots are like the sun,

F ar, far away.

7.

“ Daily ” visitors a t our club,N o t fa r away.

Are Signal, Flem ing, “ A rchie P a t , ’’ W ho surely ea rn th e ir pay .

W hen we’re “ S toney” —not a “ B row n,” W e’ll lOok for “ D o b b io ” or “ G ren ”

in town,Stevie then m ay leave his frown,

F ar, fa r away.

8.

Of the m em bers of our club,N ot fa r away.

W e expect to hea r g re a t things,Once they ’re in th e fray.

W hen a t last sweet peace comes round W e hope our m em bers will be found All on board, New Zoaland bound,

N o t fa r away.

(W ritten two days before reaching first port of call.)


Routine Orders, No.—By C aptain ——, Ship’s O.C.

Funnel.—Section 20, par. 3, prevents any m en on board the troopship from congregating round _ and looking down th e funnel, and so in terfering w ith the stoker’s work. Any m an found will no t be lost.

V entilators.—Mon m ust not swing hammocks in ventilators on deck.

T he M in iste r fo r P hysica l C ulture.

B ath ing .—It- has. come to the know ledge of the ship’s, officers th a t m em bers of B 'Company have been swimm ing around the boat in the early m orning, and hindering its progress. Any m an found will be punished.

Kit-Bags.—N o m an will be allowed to carry kit-bag on his back to enable him to fit lifo-belt tightly . All such cases should be reported.

Appointm ents.—Sergt. Brainsb,y will bo in charge of No. 1 R aft. T his will carry no ex tra pay.

K it Inspection (Compulsory).—There will be a k it inspection of all ranks, as m en are complaining of losing canteen tickets and em pty soit-drinks bottles.

Found.—One box of safety matches. —Apply S hip’s Sergeant-M ajor.

Lost.—Identification disc stam ped No. 0, on one side, C apstan M edium Tobacco on the o th e r ..

, (Signed) L I E U T . ----------- ,S h ip ’s A dju tan t.

15


Stew.I f you Have lo st your ham m ock; your

k it bag, or your -knife..Y our housewife, soap or lifebelt with

which to save your l ife ;Y our h at or second pair of sox, your

trousers just bran new,Oh, do not be dow nhearted—you’ll get

them in the stew..If from the C anteen door you miss a

face you used to know,W ith greyish hair, well trim m ed mo,

and tee th all in a row,H e is not gone for 'evermore, though

seeming lost to view,The la te lam ented old Jac k Hayes—•

you find him in the stew.W e get it hot, we get it cold, we get it

in betw een; J W e get it thick, we get it th in , we get

it fa t and le a n ; ,W e get i t for our breakfast, for our

lunch and dinner, too,A nd when our long day’s drill is done,

they top it off w ith stew.W e all are bound for E ngland’s shores,

and half across the w ater The (censored) s ta r ts a ro llin ' like a t ra n s

p o rt “ didn’t o u g h ter,”To cheer our w aning spirits up when

we are feeling blue,T hey get th e dixies going, and go aft

for some m ore stew.So when this wicked w ar is done, and

th e 24ths are back again, _W e won’t forget the old ship’s cooks

who pleased our '“ inner m an ,” W e’ll call to m ind the “ knock o u t ”

tea, and “ Dead-wfeight ” plum duff, too,

And think; of Captain Robertson, and drink his health in stew.

G.B.D.A.

Troopship Euclid.Conclusions arrived at by No; 4

Platoon, “ A ” Company. Definitions and Axioms;

(1) All hammocks are the same ham mock.

(2) Soldiers on th e same troop deck and a t the same mess are equal to one another.

(3) A soldier’s quarters is th a t which has no parts and no m agnitude.

(4) A w rangle is the disinclination of, two sergeants to each other, who m eet’ together, bu t are not in the same company.

(5) The O.C. ship is a parallelogram , th a t is, an oblong, angular figure, which cannot be described, bu t is equal to anything.

(6) If the m eat is not cooked, and tho Q uarterm aster says it is cooked, then i t can be-, said to Joe cooked,. . -

PO ST U L A T E S AN D P R O PO SITIO NS.

(1) Stew m ay be produced any num ber of times.

(2) R ations • m ay b e ' im proved by a series of propositions/'

(3) A bee line m ay be m ade from anyw here by any soldier to any other soldier’s hammock hook.

(4) The blankets for the hammock, though produced ever so fa r both ways, will not m eet. •

(5) Any th ree meals on a troopship are together less th an two square feeds.

(6) If th ere arc tw o soldiers w ith two hammocks for one hook, and the am ount of room taken by one soldier is equal to the am ount of rpom re q uired by the other soldier, and the w rangle betw een one soldier and the Troop-deck S ergeant is equal to the w rangle betw een the Troop-deck Sergeant and the o ther soldier, then the S ergeant m ay declare one hook to be two hooks. .' For, if not, go to theO.C., who says the num ber of m en is equal to the num ber of hooks, and as all o ther hooks are taken, th en one hook cannot be one hook, which is absurd.

Q. E. D.

A ll’s Well.By H .M .R ., A Company*

W hen the therm om eter registers a b o u t 32 degrees F arenheit and a forty-mile gale which cu ts.like a knife is whistling th rough the, riggiiig, _ one is_ ap t to wonder w hether the m an who can stand in the “ crow’s nest ” at m idnight and call “ A ll’s well ” is blessed w ith a keen sense of hum our. If he is the fortunate possessor. of th a t virtue, and in such circum stances hum our W ould; m ost ce rta in ly be e le v a te d to the. piano of a v ir tu e , then the irony of his situation m ay perhaps do som ething to alleviate his feelings. In any case he has th e sym pathy of all who, hearing his long-drawn call, draw tho blankets closer and rem ark, “ I suppose he knows b est.”

On one occasion the call of th e look; out m an was most inopportune as fai- as one of D C om pany’s s e rg e a n tsw a s concerned. , “ B ill,” - as we shall call him, was in search of his hammock, arid fOr some m inutes the air had been suffused with th a t class _ of language which is absolutely essential to the successful p ro secution of a hammock hunt. ' In the m idst of th e flow the call of the lookou t m an was heard. F or a m om ent all was still. T hen B ill’s voice was heardin deadly earnest: “ A ll’s well b e ----- .I w ant my hammock. ”

W hen o’er the ocean deep The (censored) cleaves her way,

W hile you and I do soundly sleep Arid darkness holds its sway,

One there is whose m ighty call A bove the wind is heard,

And safety for us, one and all,•Is. vouched for-in h is :w o rd :

All’s, well.-” .

W hen seasrare running high And danger, lurjks around,

T he Look-out is :6ur' voice, and eye, H e lists for every sound.

Arid when, our passjige won, ..We land ’n e a th E n g land’s skies, M ay each an d every one H onour the man who cries:

All’s well;”;

In a lecture delivered on board The O.C.’s eloquence soared,

One sergeant, they say,I f he had his way,

T hat lec ture would toss overboard.

T here’s a rough-up platoon called St one- ham s,

B u t of. th a t platoon he’s m ade b aalam bs ;

Believe m e or not, sir,Our S tonie’s real hot, sir,

On soldiers who shirk w ork, and shams.

The Maori’s Dream.P y lcorry I nea r te pukle korin,

P y ko rry me haere te w ar,P y ko rry I chasim te C harm in,

P y korry m e m akim feel sore.

T im m i A rran he send m e way on pik steamsips,

H e w ire to te K ing dat I kum ;T e K ing reply, “ I rook out Noo Seeran

prow n man,H im te fe rra pakaru te H un.

A n now m e way up to te Pelchum ,I see te Solj.a H u n ;

C henral H aig , he say to m e, “ P row nie, If you preece, lotum you k u n .”

I choin in to Tommy A tkin,Te K ap tin , he say “ K o !”

A n py krik ie we fight like te teffil,W e neffa care for te snow.

I ko rite on by te P rittis ,I see te kate—“ P y korry , B e rlin !”

Me no tork im te sentry,M e an my tripe prake in.

I see a pik house on te korna,I ko nokkum fran d a floor;

An pakeha in te ko lt p ra it kum ansa, H e flitin, h ite roun t te to r.

“ K o o t t a y ; py your sort, kolt p ra it,- -./arid lace, you h ig h ; sir,I ktirri to you settle te w a r ;

P y chinko, I know you te K icer !P a n g ! P y krikie, you killim m y fren ts

no m ore.

A n now I ko to Ole Ink lan t,To te . K ing Chorg I ko, quik r u n :

H e tak im m e insite, hear te story,“ H ere , R obbie, you ko fetsim te

ru m .”

K ing Chorg, he firrim te krasses, H e tririk to te M aori so n ;

“ K oora rule to you an Noo Seeran, No m ore f itim -te H u n .”

A n Tim m i A rran an P ir r i Massey to Kirig C horg sen d -te kaple,

W hen : he hear te ' w ar o ra t u n ; ' “ K apai te M aori H oia; hooray te prafe

K anatiutt,K oora poy, N oo Seeran, an A ustra- •

lian, an te Inkrishm an. ”

R O B E R T H E N D E R SO N . ;

A nsw ers to Correspondents.

“ Sandy,” B Coy.—No, your O.C. is not Scotch. W hy not apply for a tran sfer to L ieut. M cTavish’s Company?

M----- 11, B Coy.—Y ours is a genuinegrievance. Advise you to see Army Council a t home. S tanding orders are wrong.

Lieut. B----- .—N o, th ere is nothing in“ M usketry R egs.” to prevent you w earing a moustache.

D ictionary.—The 24ths m ay 'bo delined as officers, orderlies, fatiguem en, drones, hangers-on, and a few soldiers.

“ Bull T e rr ie r .”—Y ou are quite mistaken. The ship does not produce the eggs for the saloon breakfast table by occasionally “ laying tw o ,” as you imagine is the case.

“ Lance-Corporal.”—T here are many ways of escaping duty on your company’s “ un it for d u ty ” days. If you are unable to successfully use them , you should' ask to be perm itted to re v ert to the ranks, as this m arks you down as quite unfitted for the high rank you hold.

“ •Private.” —Y ou are to be commended for your desire to a ttain executive rank. Y ou should lose no tim e in g e tting. into com m unication with Box 121212, whose advertisem ent eppears in this column.

“ Sausage.”—The sample subm itted has been placed in a glass ja r , securely sealed, and will bo handed to Sir W illiam R obertson im mediately the ship


anchors in an English port. S ir W illiam will go into the question and personally advise you of the result of the analysis of the sausage when th is is completed. Our own opinion (and we are ’ always righ t in our opinions) is th a t the coincidence of the frequent issue of sausages and the absence of the reinforcem ents’ mascot is w orthy of the closest investigation.

“ B illet D e u x ."—Our sincere advice to you i s : Billy, don’t.

“ S ongbird.”—'■ The lark rose in the air,

As o’er the seas we ro lled ;H is song to do or dare

Incited w arriors bold.”Xo room for any more, O.M. Besides, we m ust consider our readers a little.

e, O.M. Besides, readers a little.

“ C om petition.” —Suggest you send along the stamps necessary to enable us to re tu rn your alleged humorous story. W e were wondering what it was th a t gave the ship such a list to port lately. W hen your story came to hand, we understood-,

“ K it-B ag .”—Even on tho best-regulated ships, kit-'bags are liable to be lost. Our experience has led us to th ink tha t you are fortunate not to have lost yourself, as instances have occurred of men being lost for a day at a tim e (unit for duty days preferred).

“ T erry .”—Ye olde mess orderly fatigue m ust be undertaken by all ranks under th a t of lance-jack. Even m em bership of the band does not excuse you from the perform ance of mess orderly

THE BUTTER PROBLEM.

“ T phsorial.” —Yes, the editor of this m agazine pays (in civil life) the same as anyone else for a hair-cut. W e m ay add, for your inform ation alone, tha t he has long considered he is thereby distinctly “ rooked.”

“ W .A .R .” —Y ou’re wrong, and anyhow, there will be “ w ar ” between you and us if you persist in referring to this high-class journal as “ th a t ra g .”

“ A nxious.” —W e can stand a good deal in tho m ixed m etaphor line, but “ he sped on his victorious way across the ocean foam, his good ship fiercely flapping her eagle engines,” is over the odds.

“ B eginner.” —T ry again. (But give some o ther jo u rn a l^ chance next time.)

■!L. and L. Specialists ' Leave.”— W eek-end leave on the voyage is only g ranted on th e understanding th a t men do double fatigue next “ unit for duty ” day.

“ L e tte rs .” —L etters m ust be w ritten in your own time. All references to anyth ing m ust be om itted, otherwise the Censor will refuse to allow letters to go forward, except in properly-sealed bottles, which are to be throw n overboard betw een the hours of 12 m idnight and 0.15 a.m . on Thursday m ornings only.

“ Innocent, ‘ B ’iCoy.”—You are labouring u nder a m u ltitu d e of fa lse sca ttered ideas re the position of Ship’s Q uarter-m aster. T he positicm is a very im portan t one, and there is plenty of hard work attached to it. On a busy day the Ship’s Q uarter-m aster sometimes has to say “ Sign h e r e ” th ree o r four times.

T here is a poor sam ple of b u tte r.Scarce fit to a u g h t else th a n th e g u tte r.

T hey ca ll i t X L .We th in k i t ’s ex -H —1 ”

T he w hole of th e T w en ty -fou rths m u tte r.

17

IS THE BULLDOGS’ BARK.

Aunt Tabitha's Column.(By P R IV A T E F . D. COYNE.)

My D ear N ephew s,—Now th a t you are all away from home, I am sure you m ust miss the dainty little dishes which you said nobody could p repare like your A unt T abitha.

Y our A untie is not, however, p re pared to see her boys reduced to ea ting nothing b u t arm y rations, even generous and varied as they a r e ; so w ith the idea of adding varie ty to a wholesome bu t sometimes m onotonous diet, she has secured a full list of all provisions obtainable at the ship’s canteen, and from these m aterials has a rranged a few recipes which can be p repared in a simple m anner by any soldier.

1. SA R D IN E S IN OIL. — These savoury little fish can be eaten with b read and b u tte r (issue). If a fork is procurable, so m uch the better, bu t be sure and open the tin first. Sardines can be procured a t the canteen.

2. B U SSO R A H D A T E S.—A delicious dried f r u i t ; m ay be eaten uncooked during parades by rear rank m en. The stones should be removed and placed in a friend’s pocket or down his neck. This causes much innocent am usem ent. Dates are procurable a t the canteen.

3. S A R D IN E S A LA BU SSO R A H . —T ake two dates, remove the stones, insert a sardine betw een the dates and serve on slices of bread and jam (issue). If a m ore fishy flavour is desired, add m ore sardines. The m aterials for this dish can be obtained at the canteen.

4. D A TES A LA SA R D IN IA .—Chop six dates into small pieces, obtain some sardines from your canteen, open m ouths of sardines and stuff with chopped dates. Serve w ith garnishing of cold Irish stew (issue) and escape quickly.—Y our loving

A U N T T A B IT H A .

W ireless Rumours.

L A T E ST W A R N EW S.

(M ACARONI W A VELESS.)

Allies’ H indquarters, ------ 17.Unofficial.—The E uropean argum ent

continues with unabated vigourosity on all fronts and backs. W ith the exception of fierce artillery duels and num erous raids all along th e lines, the n ight was quiet, and , consequently all our men had a t least ten m inutes’ sleep, and are now so fresh and eager th a t difficulty is found in restrain ing them from ending the w ar with one bold stroke.

However, H a ig has decided to wait for the 24th Ragtimers.. now “ a t sea” about latitude . . . .(erased by Censor). .

S I T U A . T I O N.O UR SIDE.

V ery promising. We advanced 15 miles on a ten yards front, after which we withdrew a sim ilar distance and consolidated our gains. The morals of our troops are excellent, which is no doubt due to the enormous supplies of m uni

tions and “ A rf a M o” cigarettes being sent forw ard by the ladies of E ng land’s munition-m akers.

A small rio t am ong the A ustralian troops occurred on Anzac Day, when the authorities substitu ted fresh beef for bully, bu t th is was easily quelled by giving each m an a double issue of lim ejuice and rum.

E N EM Y .

D esperate. ' Am m unition, men and food are being used .daily- H is troops are u tterly worn out for w ant of sleep, no t one of them getting less th an 12 hours sleep per night. T heir beer supplies are now only sufficient to last another seven years, and th e K aiser has ordered rations of C ham pagne, M oselle and B urgundy in lieu thereof. A ltogether th e ir p ligh t is desperate, and is causing much uneasiness in Beerlin. H av ing heard th a t P o tte r’s P a rty is on the way to the war, th e K aiser hurriedly summoned, the Clown Prince, V on . . . . B erg (erased by Censor) and Von T urnips t o . p revent the possibility of the band playing in the U n te r den Linden next X m as Day.

T heir morals arc extrem ely low, and in view of an outbreak of K am eraditis of a highly infectious natu re having broken out am ongst his troops on the W estern front, the enemy may be expected to sue for peace at an early date.

Russian II.Q ., ------ 17.S ituation unchanged, except th a t our

brave troops have advanced ano ther 193 miles along th e whole front, and are now nearing Beerlin. W e took 3,000,000 prisoners, 10,000 cannon, 24.000 machine guns, and other booty too num erous to mention.

A nsw ers to Correspondents.

Anxious, “ E ” Coy.—Y our O.C. is no re la tion of the celebrated Am erican au thor.

Never Rashly Weigh Things.—I t is qu ite tru e th a t 16 ozs. m ake a lb., b u t 1 lb. of flour only makes 14 ozs. of bread.

“ G enuine ,” “ G ” Coy.—T he best way to avoid the effect of m alingerer’s medicine Is to abstain from p arad ing sick.

Constant R eader.—No, the password at the Sergeants’ C lub on “ V accination N ig h t” did not have any re ference to a well-known brand of cognac.

Sport, “ B ” Coy.—Y ou are wrong. L ieu t. Duffy did not ride Sansanof w hen he won th e M elbourne Cup.

P u tty , “ B ” Coy.—Y ou are wrong. P u ttees are N OT intended to keep the legs w arm in cold w eather. They arc merely intended to cause the soldier fatigue and discomfort.

Im pudent, “ D ” Coy.—N o ; the subtitle of this jou rnal has no re fe rence to the editors. I t could be more aptly applied to some of the contributors.

The Jok ists’ Column.T he prize in th e joke com petition was

won by the following tru e tale, contribu ted by Corpl. W. J . Glenn, of E C om pany:

Quite True.The O.C., “ E ” Company, was lec

tu rin g 19 P la toon on discipline and punishments, etc., aw arded for the following offences, com m itted by soldiers w hen on active service. . . .

L ie u t . : W hen a sentry, sleeping on his post.—Penalty , D E A T H .

P te . D. (who has been try ing to find a way o u t) : Supposing, sir, th a t I had been afte r a long m arch, and I fe lt very tired and sleepy, and the P la to o n Serg eant pu t m e on sen try duty, and th a t I fell asleep th rough fatigue. W ould they shoot me, sir?

L ieut. : Yes. W hen you are a sentry on outpost, the lives of your com rades depend on your alertness, and death is the penalt}-. L ieu tenant, contin u in g : Now, men, I wish to say som eth ing to you about cleanliness in the trenches. T here is not a m an who has been in th e trenches in France for any length of tim e but has got lousy, to use tho vu lgar expression; in fa c t you couldn’t prick a m an w ith a pin, bu t you would take a dozen lives.

P te . D . : G reat G o d ! I needn’t have asked ye th e question about sleeping on your post, if I had known there w ere such ca ttle in the trinehes, sir.

At the Canteen.Custom er well splawud over the

co u n te r; fifty m ore w aiting on him to be served.

C ustom er: “ Two cakes chocolate.” Salesm an: “ Sorry, sold o u t.”“ Give me a bag of toffee.”“ Sorry, no sweets of any kind on

hand. Sold out.“ No boiled lollies?”“ N o .”“ Any mixed chocolates.”“ Told you already. All sweets sold

o u t.”“ W ill you be getting any out of the

hold to-morrow ?”“ No, w e’re w aiting on a cruiser

coming from H om e with a sh ipm ent.” “ A lright, give m e .a packet of chew

ing gum, anvhow ."Oh ! h e ll! ‘ ------------------------------------N ext customer, please.C ustom er: “ Give us a bag of boiled

lollies.”K een C anteen Salesman (after being

two weeks sold out of sweets): “ Sorry, all sweets sold out, bu t we have plenty of sh irt and trouser b u ttons.”

C anteen C ustom er: “ W hat kind o’ pipes have you?”

Enthusiastic A tte n d a n t: “ Cherry and briar. W e’re out of cherrv. W hat kind will you h av e ?”


Ladies’ Page.CON D U CTED B Y P H Y L L IS .

SOCIAL N EW S.

On Sunday, church service was held on the after well deck. Chaplain C aptain ' P etrie officiated. Among others present I noticed Sisters G rant and Smith.

On M onday Sisters G ran t and Smith were entertained . a t m orning tea by C aptain Ryan. In the afternoon they partook of chocolates with C aptain R obertson.

On Tuesday S ister Smith was the guest of Sister. G rant a t m orning tea.

On W ednesday evening the iSisters en tertained the Officers a t a card p a rty in the Saloon. The hostesses were becomingly dressed in grey denin costum es (to m atch the colour of the ship), trim m ed w ith T urkey R ed (to m atch the moustaches (?) of some of the 2nd Lieuts.). L ieu t. McComish acted as chaperon. H is duties were rendered somewhat arduous by the cheating habits of two or th ree individuals who are old enough to know better, but, iby the exercise of a little tact, he steered the evening to a successful conclusion.

On Thursday S ister G rant was the guest of S ister Sm ith at m orning tea.

On F riday the Sisters were en te rtained at a recherche luncheon by the (Canteen Sergeant. Dates formed the staple article of diet, washed down w ith lime-juice and soda.

On Saturday evening a very enjoyable concert was held on No. 2 Troop Deck. There was a large attendance. Among others present I noticed Sisters G rant and Smith, attended by a large escort of officers, including 2nd Lieut. P re tty Boy. Owing to the inclemency of the w eather the . Sisters wore their great-coats, in which they looked very chic. T h e program m e included a duet by Sister Sm ith and Sgt.-M ajor. Joll, and a Scotch song by “ T he W idow” C richton, of Ecclefechan. The “ m erry widow” was attired in a, fashionable cream (?) blanket skirt, w ith blue b o lder ; khaki th ree-quarter coat, w ith toque and furs to m atch, and looked very charm ing. In fact, .appearances poin t to her capturing a fifth victim ere long. (Heaven help him.—Ed.)

TI-IE M A X IM S OF M A R G U E R IT E ./People who live in glass houses

should dress in the dark.A friend in need is a friend we

usually shun.Some women agree w ith their hus

bands in nam e only.A stitch in tim e often saves an em

barrassing exposure.Fashions change in everything except

babies.Dolls are m ade for girls to p lay with,

not for m en to m arry.F a in t purse never won fair lady.A miss is as good a s ' a mis-ter.W omen are like facts—they are stub

born th ings—and always speak for themselves (Quite true. I ’m a m arried m an myself.—Ed.)

Look before you sleep—especially at the sea-side.

The' m an who m arries in haste does not usually have any leisure to repent.

Too m any cooks spoil the policeman.Tho “ brid le” day is th a t on which

a m an leads a woman to the “ h a lte r .”W hen a m an flatters himself th a t he

knows a womaii, well, he flatters h im self.

A ca t’s eyes are said to be largest at m idn igh t; certainly her voice is.

A N SW E RS TO C O R RESPO N D EN TS.

W idow Crichton.—A very good remedy for pimples on the face is the following : F irs t soak the face well w ith draugh t vinegar, and then rub vigorously w ith a bathbrick until all sign of the pim ples has disappeared. If anything of your face is left a fte r this trea tm en t, anoint gently with neatsfoot oil, and do not wash for a week. One tre a tm ent is usually sufficient, but if you still suffer from the pimples please w rite us again. W e are greatly interested in your case.

Perp lexed One.—The com plaint of red noses is becoming very common, and often leads to unjust aspersions being m ade against entirely innocent persons. The best remedy i s : T ake A- lb. of dubbin (that issued to the troops will do), and massage sam e gently into th e skin of nose w ith the thum bs. T hen take 2 ozs. of flour and apply carefully w ith a powder puff. T reatm ent to be continued daily until the redness has entirely disappeared.

J . A. A.—Y our query re games suitable for two. Smoodging is undoubtedly the best gam e for two th a t was ever invented. I t is a long way ahead of “ 500.”

H . C. S.—Onions are the most nu tritive vegetables th a t one can eat, but if you ever eat spring onions don’t b reathe it to a soul.

(Phyllis invites descriptions of social events fo r publication in this column, but cannot take any re sponsibility for the correctness of same.)

M A R R IA G E.

A fte r the arrival of 13 P latoon a very p re tty weeding took place a t the P orridgeby te rian K irk , when P riv ate W ally, who is on six m onths’- leave, was joined in wedlock to Miss Jea n Thistle. The bride was tastefully upholstered, and was given away by the genial C aptain T ro tter. P riv a te W ally appeared in B ill’s full issue, including th e sea k it and m eat ticket, and looked every inch a soldier. The ceremony was slightly delayed owing to b ridegroom having to a ttend a C.B. call. A fter the wedding the happy couple left for the ir H ighland home ’m idst a shower of stew and hard-boiled peas.

Diary Scraps.The D octor’s m otto : “ H ave pa

tien ts.”H ay fever is an affection of the heart,

caused through falling in love with a grass widow.

T o the average girl, psychology means m eeting the righ t m an a t the righ t mom ent.

A lie is a poor pill for the tru th , but the only substitute discovered at p re sent.

E arth is a solid substance, usually longed for by the seasick.

The average person’s soul seems to lie p re tty close to his digestion.

Silence sometimes covers a m agnitude of ignorance.

Politeness is like an air cushion. T here may be nothing solid in it, but it relieves the jolt wonderfully.

I t was ju st dark when a M aori came holding his poor aching jaw to the dental parlour, and before taking a seat, in the chair, asked “ How m uch?” T he dentist rep lied : “ Two-and-six to pull the tooth, and five shillings with gas.” T he M aori gave a painful grin, and m uttered, “ By k o rr y ! Mo wait till daylight. ”

N O T FOR H IM .

Softly- the nurse smoothed the sufferer’s pillow. H e had been adm itted only th a t m orning, and now he looked up pleadingly a t the nurse who stood at his bedside. “ An" phw at did ye say the docthor’s nam e was, nurse, dea r?” ho asked.

“ Dr. K ilp a tr ic k / ' was the reply. “ H e’s the senior house surgeon.”

The sufferer winced' and pulled a wryi face.

“ T hat settles it ,” he m uttered firmly. “ The docthoi^ won’t get a chance to aperate on m e.”

“ W hy not? ” asked the nurse in -su rprise. “ H e ’s a very clever m an .”

“ T h a t’s as may b e ,” the patien t said, “ but me nam e happens to be P a trick .”

W HO?W ho is i t tells us where we goAnd how and when and why, and whoInspection holds? A h! don’t we know—

The skipper.Who is it drives this giddy ’bus At th irteen knots, sans haste or fuss,Is rarely heard to speak or cuss?

The Engineer.Who is it w ith our ailm ents cope,Shake the pointers’ only hope,And fill us up with horrid dope?

The M.C.Who is it runs this bloomin’ ship? “ Anzac” ? or he with cap-a-tip,Adm iral grave w ith compressed lip?

• A h! W ho?Who is it sits w ith visage grim ,H a ir all on end, eyes grow ing dim,To ease our letters of the ir vim?

The Censor.Who answer when the bugles call,To whose sad lot all odd jobs fall, Whose lives seem darkened by a pall?

The C .B .’s.Lastly, who tells us w here w e’ll go And how and why and when, although We w ant bu t cheering up, you know?

The Padre.


Dooley D iscourses on the Boxing Contests.

’Tis th ’ foine body av m in th ’ tw inty- fou rth rayinforcem ints arre, H innissy. Belave me, they arre loike clay in th ’ hands av th ’ P o tthe r. W hin you see him refereein a t th ’ boxin’ contists, be- gorra, ’tis th ’ b ro th av a boy he looks, intoirely. _’Tis th ’ grea t fun we do be afthe r havin’ a t th im same boxin’ contists. W an day a counthrym an av our own, a bx-oth av a boy nam ed O’B rien (a sarjin t a t tha t, m ind ye) kim into t h ’ ring drissed up in toights an ’ all th ’ rist av th ’ fixins, lookin’ for all th ’ w urrld loike Jaw n L. Sullivan in his proime. H e shtips into th ’ middle av th ’ ring, and afthe r shakin’ han ’s wid th ’ o ther wan—a shlip av a boy, wid his denims an ’ “ Bill M asse y ” boots on, th a t looked as if he ought to be back homo a t W aipukurau spankin’ cows— m e frind, O’B rien, sh tarts in to paralise th ’boy wid science. Pie tip-toed round th ' ring doin’ a re g ’lar Gaby Gloide, his two arrum s all the toim c goin’ like windmills. T h ’ boy ju sh t shtud an ’ w atched him f’r a whoile, an ’ thin, whin O’B rien was executin’ a figger 8 wid wan arrum , an ’ a saloot by num bers wid th ’ other, th ’ boy sh truk him wance —twoice—an’ before ye cud say “ M isther Dooley,” me frind O’Brien was hors-de-combat, as th ’ M aoris say. Y e n iver can judge by appearances, os me ould frind, Jo e W ard, used to say, a n ’ Oim m oighty glad there were ro bookies there , f’r Oi ■wud hav’ pu t me lasht canteen ticket on O’Brien; Well, a fthe r th ’ rale boxin’ was over, K aptin P o tth e r an ’- L ieu tenant Duffy (a pupil av th ’ late D onal’ Dinnie) blindfolded a cupple av th ’ .boys, an’ sh tarted thim boxin'. “ These were th ’ most funniest cuts av a ll,” as m e late lam inted frind, Bill .Shakespeare, used to say. T h ’ boys were shtud in th ’ m iddle av th ’ ring, tu rrn e d round and round a few toimes, an ’ th in towld to go f’r each, o ther loike th ’ divil. In sh tid av tha t, they wud w ander round f’r a whoile, m akin’ fierce uppercuts an ’ left hooks a t th ’ atmus-

~feer. I t w ud have dun yer hea rrt good to hav seen K ap tin P o tth e r an ’ Loo- ten an t Duffy (who were there to see fair play) dodgin’ til’ blows av th ’ compe- th itors, who seemed to be more con- cairned wid basilin’ th ’ judges an ’ spec- ta tho rs than wan another. Indade, at wan toime, th a t g reat soljer, K aptin Po tthe r, ackcholly got down on his knees to dodge a m oighty swing frum wan av th ’ boys. H o looked very u n comfortable, indade. In fact, Oi don’t th ink he has been doin’ th ’ “ knees bend ” lately as offen as he shud. Will, H innissy, ’twas th ’ g rea t toime we had, intoirely, an’, judgin’ by th ’ way th ’ boys arre shapin’, yet can take it frum me th a t ould K aiser Bill will chuck in th ’ sponge im m ajitly he hears th a t the tw inty-fourths arre on th ’ way.

P te . Le N — (B Coy.): “ Say, C happie, have you lived in New Zealand all your life? ”

P te . C—y (B C oy.): “ No, no t yet, only up to th e presen t.”

A dvice for Soldiers.Do you w ant a good m eal?—Well,

wait. The saloon galley is the place for a good meal. B u t you have to peel potatoes all day to get it.

H ang round the canteen. Some one M A Y drop a ticket.

D on’t polish your buttons—they only get d irty again.

D on’t strike matches a f te r dark—it disturbs the whales.

If you w ant the latest news, go to the canteen.

Doctor (to P rivate S----- s, B Company, who is repeatedly m issing drills and fa tig u e ): W hat’s your trouble,

P riv a te S------ s : Well, sir, I seems tosleep all righ t, an ’ I eats all rig h t and enjoys my meals, b u t when Sergeant-M ajor W ----- n suggests drill—well, thenI ’m all of a trem b le .”

Officer (to p rivate on the m a t) : Now, then, you m ust not call the Sergeant a bandy-legged weasel.

P riv a te : Well, sir, would there be any objection to calling a bandy-legged wea sel a sergeant?

Officer: Well—er—no, I suppose not.P riv a te (turning to the S erg ean t):

Then good m orning, Sergeant.I t is said th a t the K ing, on a visit to

Sling Camp, sat down w ith the m en and sampled the food, which m ainly consisted of stew. The band appropriately played “ God Save the K in g .”

.Smith: Say, Jones, do you want to win a bottle of port?

Jones: I should say so. How can I do it ?

S m ith : Well, I ’ll bet you a bottle of p o rt you won’t answ er “ Y e s ” to three questions I ask you.

Jo n es: D one! Go ahead.S m ith : Well, have you ever been in

jail?Jones: Yes.S m ith : Y ou’re a b it gone in the head,

aren ’t you?Jones: Yes. Gee, this is easy money.

Smith.S m ith : Well, if I lose this bet will you

pay for tho port?J o n e s : ------------- !! (Exit.)S e rg e an t: Eyes righ t, I tell you, block ■

head.Raw R ecru it: Well, I never says you

was wrong, did I?

N.Z.M.C. Notes.If you cannot in the battle

P rove yourself a soldier t r u e ;If w here fire and smoko are thickest

T here’s no work for you to d o ; W hen tho battlefield is silent

You can go with careful tread,Y ou can g ath e r up tho wounded,

You can cover up the dead.Anonymous.

A W A R N IN G .A woman can vote—but she cannot

throwA brick or a stone very high ;B ut she can bring a young m an or his

g randfather lowBy tho naughty little tw inkle in hei

eye.

Social News.The m em bers of No. 8 P latoon _(B

Company) had the honour of attend ing a “ L e v y ” held in “ s ty le ” at “ M ilden H a ll,” last W ednesday. A m ong the distinguished guests .present in “ E vening D e n im s” w e noticed: W m. Child, representing L ab o u r: W . Booth, hon. ship’s u n d e r ta k e r; Rev. M r. Rowlands, prison chaplain; M r. Justice Thom pson, tem perance advocate: H on. Sims, B oard of T rade and. ship’s film censor; P rivate Atkinson, show d isappo in ter; Lord Churchill, general o verseer; Sergt. M oore, ship’s m asthead lam pligh te r; H on .Je rvo is, ham m ock balancer; S ir W. H enderson, dry rations ex p e rt; W. B u rnett, professional mess o rd e rly ; G ray Bros., on Cook’s to u r th rough Belgium and F ran c e; Wi Perry , L ance-Private (by ex a m .): Lord W iggens, P resident Ladies’ P atrio tic S o cie ty ; H ill Jum , heavyw eight canteen p u rc h ase r; H on. D udgeon. M .P ., licensed Scotch in terp re te r ; P rivate McDonald, inspector of t inned salmon fisheries; P riv ate Irons, gold medallist orderly.

The function was a huge success, and m arks the first of its kind.

The C hairm an (Sir G. Rowlands) said lie hoped the fu ture holding of thesc- functions would not end in Ffrost, and considered it the V erry best m eans of holding tho good fellowship until the goal was won.

T he evening was not w ithout its hum our and w itty rem arks, one of the m en asking for Mooro, as he did not care a F arth in g as long as he had a good meal.

M EN U .Soup.—G oss-up.E ntrees.—B rains—by Rissoles, R obin-

cum-Capers.P ou ltry .—Boiled Hen-shaw and Parsley

Sauce.V egetables.—Steam ed Moss, Caley-

flower, Bunk Leeks, K it Turn-ups. Sweets. — C harte-rice and P runes, 4 (censored) Cream , M ilden H all Tai'ts,

and K ano Sugar.Savory.—B run ton’s Drilled Squad.

Wines.M cGuinness’ Stout, W atson’s No. 10,

V in le Nedelec. company,V im le Nedelec.

Soft Drinks.M orton’s Lem onade, Epsomade.

E xtra .M ilk scownes.

God save th e lot of us.

ON T H E A L L E N R A N G E .

M usketry In stru c to r (pointing to landscape ta rg e t) : W ho fired them two shots? (No reply.)

M .L : Now, come on! Someone m ust have fired th e m ! T hey’re good shots.

Lance-Corpl. M .: M e, sir, I did.M .L : Yes, th ey ’re m ighty good

shots. T hey’re about th ree miles from where you w ere told to aim.


A Soldier’s Soliloquy.Reflections on Guard, 10 p.m .—midnight.

A pril 29, 1917. N.Z. Troopship No-

Sea—iSe.i—Sea ! Y esterday—to-day—tomorrow !! And for how many yesterdays? And for how m any to-morrows? And why for us these tedious, dreary days of Sea?

H ere are we, sturdy, stalw art sons of a. grand old race—herded, harried and huddled on a grey ocean “ tram p ” that, ploughs her watery way unflinchingly, day and night, towards her unseen goal. From dawn till dark she surges along— warily, steadily, swiftly, alert for h idden dangers, and ready to challenge and battle with any lurking foe! From dusk to dawn-—with darkened gown and hushed breath she seems to race faster and faster, Jiko a distraught tigress carrying her young to safety whilst the night hides her from her enem y’s sight.

Still slit' urges on, this great, grey ship, bearing a thousand souls, and again we cry, “ Why these days of Sea —Sea—Sea? ’’

From the deep, secret recesses of the heart the answ ering voices call: Duty— Chivalry— Sympathy—Love !

F a r away at our distant goal, in a war of honour, our M otherland lights for supremacy, life and peace, not only for herself, but also for her less powerful Allies.

As trusty friend she gives her all to' rescue her plighted sister from ignoble destruction. As noble and. powerful Queen she lends her aid against design ing and cruel foes to terrified and oppressed weaker nations. As wealthy benefactress she succours the hungering and homeless, and to one and all she offers her love and protection.

W hat a glorious M otherland of our glorious E m p ire !

And do the sons of this noble m other hasten to prove their blood? Do they deliberately forsake the pleasures of ease, the delights of freedom and the comforts of safety to endure the hardships of prisoners—the hum iliation of self and the terrors of w ar, th a t they m ay lay claim to possess som ething of her sublimity and grow and flourish in her ways?

Hear, then, the one answer to all these questions:

H our by hour, day by day, month by m onth—great, gaunt, grey vessels carry from far and near thousand upon thousand of youthful braves to the shores of tho M otherland, and the H ell of W ar shall he the crucible th a t tests their breed.

A nd when T ru th and R igh t have vanquished Falsehood and W rong, and Peace again dwells among us, may it please One, ever unconquerable, to restore us to our own beloved hom es; and as the year waxes old, m ay we be once more surging and bounding over the miles and miles of sea—sea—sea!

S. K E N N E T H P H IL L IP S .

Some Bulldog Smiles.(Contributed by S .K .P.)

1. Sergeant (now Lieut.), addressing squad on C om radeship : “ You know,

boys, g reat friendships are often 1 ferm ented ’ in the c a m p s!” (U ni! They arc, sometimes.)

2. “ T ipperary ” Sergeant, unable to sound “ tli,” correcting hand position in rifle exercises: "«Now, den, dose tree men on der left, up wid yer turns I Tunis up, Turns up !! ”

3. 'Sergeant, directing F ire P icket oh his b ea t: “ Now, go s traight up the ‘ ab-ba-lution ’ road and past the officers’ ‘ tubicles.’ ! ”

4. Irish Sergeant ( a t ' Featherstone),, questioning Pvte. Doyle on possible re sults from holding rifle in a wrong way:

“ Now, I’vto. Doyle, where would the shot go if you held the rifle and fired like this? ”

Pvte. Doyle: "O u t of the gun—of course! ”

Our Democratic Army.Distinguished General (visiting Sling

Camp after arrival of 24ths) to private on g u a rd : I wish to see M ajor Finnis.

P rivate (poking his head inside door of h u t) : Say, Finnis, here’s a bloke wants to see yer.

If the vessel by which M r. Massey ■and Sir Joseph W ard travelled to E ngland had been Lusitaniaed on th a t voyage, and Mr. Massey had been drowned, w hat would Sir Joe have done?—T h a t’s easy. F loated a loan.— (H .H .W ., G. Company.)

Sergeant M oore is a m an of some fa m e ; You can tru st him to play a s tra igh t

g a m e ;Though we’ve only been here F o r one-third of a year,

We’ve known him LO N G all the same.

If you’ve got a chest like an undersized flea,

Or perchance are in need of a little C.B.,

Go to L ieu tenant Duffy, he’ll see you righ t through,

His physical cu lture’s the righ t thing for you.

O h ! Probble, it makes us feel sore T h at while wo, in going to war,

Must lireast. the broad flood Of this w ar’s sea of blood,

You alone are escaping from Gore.

The canteen’s under L ieutenant “ M ac,” Who has been to the front and come

back ;H e’s a tiger for work,T here’s no fear th a t he’ll shirk,

For he’s afte r another bad whack.

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,

She had so many children she d idn 't know w hat to do,

She was sorry she brought them up In to this world of w oe;

B ut she had the sporting instinct strong In the days of long ago.

There was a gay C aptain called P o tte r, No one could call him a ro tter,

W hen the w eather was cold,H e got down in the hold,

And said “ I ’ll come up when i t ’s h o tte r.” On our ship th ere’s a Doctor named

M iller,H e is famed as a g rea t microbe-killer,

A “ Scotty” is he,And he loves the bawbee,

And aye keeps his een on the siller. On our ship th e re ’s a C aptain called

F raser,Who censors the mail wit i a ivzor.

By the tim e th a t he’s finished,Our nows (much diminished)

Is hardly w orth sending aw ay ,' sir.The crew of our cannon one day Tiiought they’d just snoot a “ targe t"

away,Fired w ithout hesitation,Wi t h tiie wrong elevation',

W here the shot went it’s qu ite hard to say.

There was an old man of Berlin,He’d a wonderful beard on his chin,

At every spring shower I t came out m flower,

And the seeds brought sixpence a tin

F O U N D .—D Company’s corporals and privates asloop ;:i 1.6 a.m .—.vppl.y Sergeant C— - ’s crim e book on the O.C.’s mat.

LOST.—A good tem per, after carrying the chief drone's blankets from T ientham to F eatherston .—Finder return immediately, as he is known.

Returning to the Front.The following is a list of those mem

bers of the R ight W ing of the 24th R einforcem ent who have already been on active service in the present war:-

Lieut. J . D. McComish, 5th Rfts. Gallipoli, 1915. Wounded. (Also served with 7th N.Z. Contingent, South Africa, 1901-2.).

2nd Lieut. J . M. Gillies, M ain Body. Suez Canal, 1915. Gallipoli, 1915. France, 1916. R eturned for Commission, October, 1916.

Sergt.-B ugler T. M. Stevenson (A Coy.), 3rd Rfts. Gallipoli, 1915 (wounded).

Pte. W. J . C larke (A Coy.), Main Body. Gallipoli. •

Pte. P. T. Bloomfield (A Coy.), 5th Rfts. Gallipoli.

Lance-Corpl. A. Rogers (B Coy.), M ain Body. Gallipoli.

Pte. A. H . Caines (B Coy.), 9th Rfts. Egypt.

Corpl. F. Gough (D Coy.), Main Body. Suez Canal.

Corpl. A. E. Curline (D Coy.), Main Body. Gallipoli.

P te. A. V. W ebby (E Coy.), 5th Rfts. Gallipoli.

P te. W. B. M anning (E Coy.), 2nd Rfts. Gallipoli.

Pte. IT. G. M uir (E Cov.), Main Body. Gallipoli (wounded).

SAMOA.Sergt. L. B , Savage, A Coy.Sergt. A. F . Webb, A Coy.Sergt. J . G. Levy, B Coy.

22 THE BULLDOGS* BARK.

Roll of Right Wing of the 24th Rfts., N.Z.E.F.

S H I P S C O M P A N Y .M aster, C aptain H . W . Robertson. F irs t Officer, II . C. B. Field.

Second Officer, G. D. Griffiths. T hird Officer, 0 . R. Owen.F ourth Officer, H . Raw stron.P urser, W. R . D unthorne.M arconi O perator, C. B. N. W ebb. M arconi O perator, A. L. U pstone. Chief Engineer, C. M. Thom.Second E ngineer, R. *Cole.T hird E ngineer, H . Miller.

Ju n io r Third E ngineer, T. A. R e Wick. F o u rth E ngineer, J . Quayle.Ju n io r F o u rth E ngineer, R . Jones. F if th E ngineer, J . Leitch.Chief R efiig . E ngineer, G. F. Bisson. Second R efrig . E ngineer, G. K idd. E lectrician, J . T. Johnston.

.Chief S tew ard, G. II . B ennett.Crew, 86.

TRO OPS.

Officer Comm anding 24th D raft, M ajor W. C. F innis, N.Z.S.C.

Staff Officer to O.C. D raft, C aptain R.N. J . F rase r, N.Z.S.C.

Officer Comm anding Troops, C aptain F. P o tte r.

“A” COMPANY.Officers.—C aptain F. P o tte r (O.C.),

Lieuts. J . D. McComish and C. McCarthy, 2nd Lieuts. E . A. Craig andE. G.'*Ellis.

N .C .O .’s.—C.S'.M. E. G. Campbell, Q.M.S. II. J Phillips, Sergeants D F. Coakley, F . E. Dobson, F . J . Farrell.F. D .' H olt, W. P. O’B rien, W. E. Raym ond, A. R. Rosser, L. B. Savage, T. * McM. Stevenson, II . R. Thayer, Lance-Sergeants A. B. N olan and A.F. Webb, Corporals E. T. Boyson, E. W. L. Bullot, F . J . G raham , C. N arbey, N. M. Neilson, R. J . Thompson, D. S. W ill, R. G. Wriglitson.. R. K . Wylie, Lance-Corporals W. B erry, G. A. Booth, W. A. Brown, F. Butcher, AV. B. C artwright, G. C. L. C lark, A. L. Cooper,F . D ueker, J . W. Madill, II . J . T. Osborne, R. B. Osborne, S. Phillip , I i . M. Rogcrson, A. S tretton, J . E . W areing and II. B. W right.

P rivates.—R. S. Aickin, W. Aitken- head, F . Allen, A. F. Amadio, J . N. A tkinson, W. K. Baker, W. II . Bassett,B. R. Bayly, B. W. Berrym an, R.

STAFF.

Principal M edical Officer, Captain J Miller.

Ship’s A dju tan t, 2nd L ieut. 11. P . W orley.

Ship’s Q uarterm aster, 2nd L ieut. J . M . Gillies.

S hip’s Sergeant-M ajor, C.S.M. E. G. Cam pbell.

B lanchett, G. W . Blay nines, L. S. Blood, P. T. Bloomfield, J . H . Bolton, E. Bond, A. J . B rennan, F. M. Brennan, II . H . Brier, F. Brooks, E.J . Brown, P . W. Browne, R. II . Bus- comb, S. Butler, G. R. Bycroft, C. Cadman, J . Carson, F . W. Chambers.G. E. C hapm an, W. Clark, W. J . C lark,C. Clifford, P . T. Collins, M. Cosgrave,T. Cox, C. Crosby, J . R. Cullen, W. J . Davies, S. E. Davis, II . V. Denize, J . Driscoll, F. M. Eccles, C. T. Edwards,J . T. Ellis, J . Fahey, II . S. Filbcr, W. Fordyce, C. Forkert, H . F rance, E . V. Fry , E. J . Geary, D. C. Gilbert, J . E. G raham , II. Gunton, W. Gurney, S. Hadfield, T. Hadfield, E . J . H am blin,II. J . F . H arding, T. II. H arrison, D. H a rtn ett, J . F. Hayes, M. H endry, G.N. Henry, W. L. Ilindnum , B. H o tch kiss, C. M. H ugge tt, C. Jaggs, I). Jam ieson, J . L. Johansen, J . Johnson.T. R. J ones, V. A. Jones, R. Kelly,W. P. Kelly,' P . T. King; L. B. K irk,II. J . K irkham , F. J . Langford, J . L. Lanigan, T. Lees, F . Lilewall, V. L. Llewellyn, II. L. Lloyd, E . J . M aber,

Assistant Ship’s Q uarterm aster, 2nd Lieut. J . A. Aitcheson.

Ship’s Q uarterm aster-Sergeant, R egt.Q.M.S. W. L. C. Bakewell.

Officer in C harge of C anteen, Lieut. J . D. McComish.

C. G. M ackay, C. M ackay, A. M artin , J . Mason. A. M atheson, A. D. Mead, F . G. Mendoza, A. J . M ilford, J . Morris, A. J . M orton, G. G. M unro, W. II. II . McClellan, A. McColl, F . J . M cD evitt, W. M cK inlay, J . McMullien, W. C. McNeil, V. Naylor^ J. Nicholl, J . A. Nicholson, R. T. Nicholson, T. O’Brien, E . F. Opper, E. Pard ington , J . P arry , W. L. Payne, S. K. Phillips, E. T. Pope, C. E. P ra tt . A. P rio r, G. T. F. Quinlan. W. R adford, W. P. Ram sey, A. Reid. J . G. Rennie, S. II. Roberts, S. P . Robertson, C. Q. R obinson, N . R. Robinson, M. Robson, A. E . Roussel, F . R utherford , F . F. Sheehan, J . Sheehan, E. J . Sheland, L. W. Simons, A. G. Smith, F . J . Smith, J . J . Smyth, A. J . Steele,

.A . .J. Sullivan, B. Sutcliffe, J . Taylor, W. Tim ms, T. J j Tregaskis, V. E. W aite, .J. F. W. W aldon, T. W ard, R. W eaver, J . R . W hite, J . Wild, R. (). A. W illetts, F. W illiams, R. F. W illiams, G. McF. W ilson, II . T. Wilson, J . M. Wilson, R . Wilson, A. II. W indsor, A. A. Robinson.


" B ” COMPANY.Officers.—Lieut.. J . A. Duffy (O.C.),

2nd Lieut. G. B. Brunton, 2nd Lieut.G. W. Morice, 2nd Lieut. J . E. Watson.

N.C .O .’s.—'HiQ.M.S. W. L C. Bake- well, C.S.M . J . W akelin, Q.M.S. E. Mitchell, Sergts. A. T. Brainsby, E. S. Coates, C. F. Le Cron, J . J . Mahoney, T. II . Moore, G. McClymont, E. R. Roskruge, A. E;. T. Signall, Lance- Sergts. I. J . Levy, W. J . McKeon, Corpls. L. J . Edmondson, G. II . Field, F. Henshaw, J . J . Ilum e, J . W. Kane,C. R. Leatherland. S. T. Moss, W. W hyte, Eance-Corpls. C. Abbott, A. E. Allsworth, II. P. Atkinson, L. C. B enton, AV. Booth, B. J . Child, J . CursOns,F. L. Eustege, J . H . Gray, W. G. Gray, A. Jolly, W. J . B. ' Pope, A. Rogers, S. II . Wickens.

Privates.—A. S. Agnew, E. Allen, G.D. B. Allen, A. Anderson, O. F. M. McQ. Anderson, E. F. Atkins, II . J . Atkinson, M. P. B arrett, J . W. Bayliss, W. Beard, S. A. Bedell, G. W. Bernard, A. S. Berry, W. A. Bousfield, W. B ryson, B. W. B urnett, R. R . B utt, A. II. Caines, J . M. Caley, W. J . T. Cavan- agh, F. W. Chartcris, J . Churnside, W. J . Christicson, W. A. Churchill, C. T. Coate, II . W. Coo, J . P . Connell, A.C. Cooper, M. J . Crowley, II . Davis, L. B. Doig, E. Doolan, A. Dudgeon,E. P. Duncan, J . II . Dunlop, W. Edser, A. Edwards, J . Tv. Eiffe, C. J . Eising, R. Farthing, W. R . Ferris, A. S. Ffrost, A. Freem an, C. Gage, R. V. Geary, G. J . Gerke, W. Gilmer, W. Given, II. II. Goff, A. Goldfinch, L. R . Gordon, 0 . S. Goss, A. E. Graham, L. AV. Gray, R. Ilabgood, J . H ackett, II. L. E. Hum bling, P. J . Hamilton, R. D. Hamilton, C. W. H eighton, II.C. Henderson, W. Henderson, A. J . Heyhoe, II . Ilill, D. Irons, W. II. Jackson, P. T. Jervis, W. II. Jowers.A. Kerridge, G. Kershaw, D. S. K n u tson, R. W. Langdon, E. W. II. Lawrence, G. Le Nedelec, J . R. Lobb, H. W. Long, E. S. Lund. II. A. M acdonald, W. A. Mackic, J . P. D. M adsen, J . P. M. M adsen, A. Marks, J .G. M enton, AV. M ildenhall, J . Miller, J . P . Mitchell, S. II . Monk, R.C. Moody, J . L. Moore, S. P. Moore, D. J . M organ, If. V. Morris, R. A. M orton, M. Mulcahy, W. McAlin- den, G. A. McCoombe, P . A. McCoy, 0 . McGuinness, W. L. M cKenzie, II . L. Oakley, E . O’H agan, J . P . Olsen, S. Pere, S. P oynter, W. Reid, L . D. R ichardson, T. R iddett, J . Rowlands,H . Scott, J . H . Scown, C. H . Sliadbolt, W. J . II . Simms, P . Simpson, J . Smith, M. F. Smith, W . G. Sommcrville, II. Stevens, G. Styles, J . P . Sweeny, W. F.C. Swift, J . P.' Tait, P . E. Terry, II . W. Thom pson, C. Thomson, D. D. Todd- Strachan, G. A. G. U dy, H . Vercoc, X. G. V erry, J . C. Wells, S. Williamson, L W. Willis, C. G. W oodhead, G. H. W right, J . Young.

“ D ” COMPANY.Officers.—Lieut. F . T. H aym an (O.C.),

2nd Lieuts. J . A. Aitcheson, AY. D. Cleland and J . M. Gillies.

N .C .O .’s.—C.S.M. J . C. Falconer, Q.M.S. A. M iller, Sergts. AV. II. Bi-ay, M. A. Flem ing, F. H . P . Graham, E . W. H alford, J . P ark , E. A. Stoneham, L ,-Sergts. J . Clancey, J . L, Saunders,

Corpls. C. S. D. Aitchison, A. E . Cur- line, R . J. Davies, A. S. Eggleton, F. Gough, C. S. MacLean, J . H . Mowbray, T. J . M cGuigan, E. B. Swindley, Lce-Corpls. II . Caldor, II . C. C arter,E. Diack, H . Edm ondston, II . L. F lint,II . C. H alford, J . Houston, A. 1). Lam b, R . B. Mason, E. M axted, G. O. M eggct, M. E . M cPhie, II . D. Trew ern, N . A. W eir.

P rivates.—R . Allan, T . Allan, M. M. Arbuckle, A. Athfield, J . Ballantyne, W. B arne tt, A. H . Bell, R . Bell, G. E. Brookcr, A. W. Brosnan, L. Brown, L. B rum by, N . D. Bryden, AV. J . B ryson, R . II . B utler, T. B utterw orth , C.C. Caldor, J . Campbell, M. Campbell, J . J . Carson, G. II . Clarke, A. J . Collins, II . A. Cooney, A. H . F . Cox, F.D. Coyne, H . Crichton, G. C unningham, S. Cusack, G. D abinett, H . McF. Dagg, AV. Desmond, A. Diack, D. Don,D. A. Douglas, J . E lder, G. E. Emons,D. P . Fairley, T. M. Fairley, A. H . S. Fairm aid, A. Farm er, AA7. F. Finn, J . M. F itzpatrick , D. Fowler, G. J . F rog- gatt, E. G ebber, J . W. Gibson, S. Gillies, E. F . Girvan, B. Goslin, L. G raham , E . Greenwood. R . Gunn. AA7. J . M. H are, AV. H arris, AV. J . H a rrin g ton, L . Hill, J . Hocking, J . F . H un ter, R . H un ter, G. AV. Jenner, D. J . Je r- rome, A. K ennedy, C. B. Klein, AA7.II . K ruskoph, H . G. Lillo, A. D. Lindsay, G. D. Low, R . M adden, J . M axwell, E. M awhinney, A. Mee, J . Meek, S. J . M essent, H . Miles,- J . AA’. V. Miller, A. Mitchell, A. P . Mitchell, R. C. M organ, J . M orton, J . M uir- head, C. A. M cBride, II . M. M cDowall, C. B. M cFarlane, .7. M cGee, P . M cK rone, A. M cM ullan, J . McNeill, A. G. M cPhee, G. A. N ewm an, G. T. N ott, AA7. J . O’B rien, D. O’Connell, M. O’Connell, 0 . O’H agan, AV. E. Pagan, F. Page, S. Page. AV. Paterson, J . AV. P a tte rson, AA7. J . Paul, J . Pearse, J . Peck, M. Phelan, G. H . Poffley, AA7. J . Proctor, J . Ram say, P. Rasmussen, A. Riddle. R. Riordan, A. Robertson, J . F. Rodgers, S. C. Rodgers, TT. IT. Ryan, T. Ryan. A. Russell, A. Salis- bury, C. A. Salisbury, G. II. Salisbury,F. Sandagger, AV. G. Scarlet, F. G Scholten, AA7. Scott, J . Shaw. AA7. G. Shaw. W. G. Sheat, A. Sheddon, P. N. Sheppard, AV. Sheeley, T. Shields.A. R. Smith. F. AV. Smith, J . AY. Smith, R. D. C. Smith. S. G. Smith. S. Y. Smith, AA7. M. Smith, S. Stevenson. R. Stew art, C. Strong, J. J . Taylor.B. Thom as, G. Thomas, J . A\ Thomas. ■T. Thorburn, A. TT. Tidoy, F. Todd.G. A. Toms, J . A. Tulloch, S. R. Tut- tv. R. Vesev. D. A. W arden, J . R. AVatson, T. W atson, T. II . W atson, J. AVelsh, P. G. AVhite, E. C. Willis. A. AVilson, J . G. Wilson, S. M. AVilson.

. A . G. Young.

“ E ” COMPANY.

Officers.—L ie u t '. O’. H enry (O .C.I 2nd Lieut. IT. C. Smith. 2nd L ieut. N. R. AY. Thom as, 2nd Lieut. R. P . AA7orley.

N. C.O.’S .-C .S .M . E. L. Fooks. Q.M.S. IT. N athan. Sergts. A. Bag- nall, J . M. Brake. A. K. B rookins. AY Gorrie. R. R. Miller. C. S. Morris. E. AAr. Tnvlor, Y. W atkins. E. F. AVitt- haus, Lance-Sergts. J . Forbes, AV. G. IT, Richards, Corps. G, IT. B artlett, D,

Duncan, W. J . Glann, AV. II. Hawke,II. A. Peebles, A. E. Scott, R. G. Wells, Lance-Corpls. II. A. Berry, \Y.I;. Boyd, D. H enry, J . Honeybun, E.E. Mason, II . R. Mason, M. ,J. N. M cCarthy, II . N aylor, J . G. Pattison,A. A. Prentice, P . Riley, P. L. Short, AA7. J . Sommervillo, T. X. Thurston.

P rivates.—J. M. Adams, J . R. Allen,J. C. Baker, J . Bascombc, A. Bidgood,R. AV. Bissett, G. Black, J . E. Black,S. B lair, S. Blake, C. L. T. Boler, L. Booth, F. IT. Bond, F. J . Brewer, C. C.. Brown, AA*. G. S. Brown, J . Buck- thought, A. 'T. Bullen, R. Campbell, M. Collogan, C. Clark, A. Cook, C. N. Courteney, J . Craw ford, J . Crookes,J . W. Cros._;, J . Crowley, T. Cun-liffe, E. A. Curtis, F. G. Devey, AA'. Dick, T. J . Donnelly, F. G. Drake,F. L. D rake, T D unn, G. Ecclestone, IT. Gager, AV. J . L. Gardener, A. E.L. Gillespie. O. A. Gillespie, J . F. ITafford. P. ITaffoi'd, P. 0 . ITaggartv, R. IT. Hall, D. Ilallford, T. S. H arris M. 0 . H arrison, AV. F. H arrison, R.J . H aslett, F. W. ITonore, J . Howe, AA7. J . Ireland, AA7. C. Jacobsen, C. Jam ieson, E. II . A. Jam ieson, D. J . Jones, E. Jones, E. B. Jones, F . J. Jones, \A7 J . Karlsson, AAr. K eir, R. Kellow, S. IT. Kelly, II . K idd, AV. J. Knceboho, P , G. Lcvet, G. TT. F. List.E. J . Lloyd, A. A. Lockie, M. Lojpur.C. L. Lowe. A. Lydiard, C. 0 . S. M adsen, AV. R. M anning, F. H . M app, J . J . M atthews, J . G. May, G. AV. Misson, J . D. B. Morrison, AA7. D. M udgway, II. J . M uir, P . M uir, J . F. McChesney, A. McDonald, J . M cGowan, F. McGuiness, A. McNeoee,A. McNeil. G. TT. Neill, A. A. Olson, 1). AA7. Olsson, O. P . Osborne, E. Ovens, A. Overington, 'C. IT. Paige, TT. P arker, J . N. P atterson , II. A. Pearce, T. TT. Pearson, F. Powell, E. Poynter,B. Price, AA7. P roctor, D. Quinlan. A.E. Ratliff, C. C. Reach, A. Reece. IT. R ogastik, T. Robinson, A. B. Robson.A. J . Sanders, AV. G. Seabright. T.. Shanaghan, IT. Sharp, C. Smith, E. Smith, AV. J . Spence, L . Stevenson, N.D. Sterling, AA7. J . Sullivan, IT. E. Swaffield, C. Svme, J . Taylor. J . J . Tilby, W. C. J . T oorney,' F. Tyler, B. P . L. van dor P um p, S. V ivian, Y. V ivian, J . W. W aite, T. M. W akelin, AV. F. W almsley, F. W ard, R. A. W arren , A. F. AVatson, F. AV. AVawman, A. V. W ebby, L. C. Wol- ham , F. W hittaker, R. AYilliams, G. AVyllie.

“ G ” COMPANY.

Officers.—2nd Lieut. IT. M. Douglas (O.C.), 2nd Lieut. S. G. Prebblo.

N .C .O .’s.—Q.M.S. C. G. H utton , Sgts.F. J . Daily, F. W . Evans, C. Joll, R.D. Kiely. A. A. Paterson, E. AV. Straf- fon, Lance-Sergts. F. W. J . Dodd, A. N. Sharp, P. S titt, Corpls. C. Caliari, R. E. C raig, J . H am ilton, E. J . P riest,A. H . R itchie, E. G. Squire, E. B. W alker, Lance-Corpls. A. G. I. Bishop, J . L. B raddock, AAr. J . L. Brown, J.S. B runton, J . A. Buchanan, F. J . Dooney, W. J . G reen, W. J . H avill,D. K ane, AV. F. M ason, J . M itchell,G. J . N arbey, E. AV. Pyne, T. S. Taylor. AA’. AATinter.

Privates. — J . A lexander, A. C. Amundson, AA’. Anderson, AA7. R. Askew, AV. Bagley, T. C, Bar-


leer, J . J . B arre tt, D. B arton , C. F. Bates, S. J . Bishop, E . J . Bolton, C. J . B onnington, D. Bottom , H . J . B run t, T. H . B urnett, T. J . Burrow s, W. P. Campbell, .G. D. Campbell, C. T. C lure, T. Clinton, F. C. Cole, P. L. Coleman, P . W. Copeland, J . C urrie, F . II . Doreen, H . Dodd, C. W. Dodds, F. W. Douglas, F. P. D wyer,C. J . Entw istle , <1. L. Fearn , D. D. F raser, V. F raser, A. Geddes, R. T. Gee, D. Gillespie, T. Gollan, L. Goodwin, C. S. G ourdie, P . W. G ourdie,B. R. Grooby, A. G. Groves, A. H olliday, R. H am pton, C. W. H annaford, R. H arold, A. H arris, A. E. H arrison, T. H artigan , ('. E. Hazel, C. IIo rgan , J . H unter, C. S. A. H uxley, F . Kelly, P K e ttle well, G. A. Lam pard, D. F. Lane, W. D. Lemon, J . Lennon, O. D. Lever, T. G. Loper, J . Loucey, II. Lub- low, J . T. M angin, R. W . Manyoni, A.D. M artin , J . G. M attson, S. Milieu, T F. Mills, F . M itchell, F. J . Mischef- ski, J . E. S. M ohan, W. Myers, T. M oran, W. J . M orcan, R. M orris, C. M cDonald. H . II . C. McDowell, A. M cIntosh, L. M cLellan, R. C. M cM urray,C. Y. McNicol, J . R. Nicolson, M. O’Connor, T. J . O’Connor, G. W. Oliven, T. Pascoe, R . Penson, W. II. Phillips, J . Plexor, Y. J . P o rter, A. R atford , W. Reside, T. Robinson, _N .

Satherley, A. Saunders, II . C. iSidfords,A. Simmonds, W. B. Skinner, J . Smith, J . W. R. Smith, W. J . Snodgrass, R.B. Stevenson, J . A. S tew art, J . Symos, J . Taborn, .1. A. Tate, E. Taylor, N. Teal, J . L. Thompson, P . Thomson, M. •V. L. Tickle. W. Tod, T. A. Torbet, A. C. Turnbull, F. G. Voyle, R. W arihi, W. II . W. W ebb, J . W hite, T. A. Wiles, II . II . Williams, J . W illiams, R. A. W illiamson, A. W inchester, W. 11. Wood, C. K. W right, L. A. W right.

N .Z . M E D IC A L C O R P S.

Officers.—Capt. J . Miller, Capt. D. II . B ett, Capt. W. T. Simmons.

N .C .O .’s.—L.-Sergts. L. F. A. Cooper and S. L . H all.

P rivates.—C. B urton, C. W. Campbell. T. M. Devaney, C. L. Eagle, II . B. H are, G. J . H art, C. R. H ay, R, H ook, G S. H ooper, A. II . Ihle, W. E. Jac k son, E. F. Keen, S. G. Pether, A. P. Shields, C. II . Short, W. T. Smith, A. Kerr.

24th DIVISIONAL SIGNALLERS & 24th SPECIALIST COMPANY

SIGNAL SECTION (ATTACHED).Corpl. C. N. Creeks.

MAJOR FIN N IS, O.C. DRAFT.

Sappers.—M. D. Campbell, J . V. Dow. ling, G. J . M. Eeles, W. D. K enny, E'. M. Phillips, F . A. Wells.

Privates.—F. J . Aishcr (specialist), W. 1’. Anderson (specialist), W. McK. B aili e (specialist), T. J . O’Connor (special ist).

N.Z. CHAPLAIN’S DEPARTM ENT.

Chaplain.—Capt. A. J . P etrie .

N.Z. DENTAL CORPS.

Capt. M. J . Ryan.Serg t. W. J . Simpson.

N.Z. ARMY NURSING SERVICE.Sister E. E. A. Grant.Staff-N urse R u th Smith.

ARMY PAY OFFICER.

Sergts. G. E . M iller and N. V. Kay.

SH IP’S RECORD CLERK.Sergt. F . L . Jenner.

N.Z. POSTAL SERVICE.

Sergt. J . G. Brown.

Autographs.

The Boys of the Twenty-Fourth. - Auckland War Memorial …...The Boys of the Twenty-Fourth. ... But...

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