Hampton Roads Crossfire

2 About “The Bench”

3-67 Advertisements

8 Schedule.Scores.Standings

9-12 Team Write-Ups

13 The Hookup

14 Double Pitcher Contest

15 Sponsor Bar & Charity

16-19 Pictures

Tom Zuppke

Please direct any comments or

questions to your league representative.

The BenchWinter 2013: Issue 7

Coming Soon To “The Bench” Near You

Then email them to me at backyardsportsclub@gmail.com

backyardsportsclub@gmail.com

Double

Pitcher

Contests

Every team will be offered a space every edition of theNewsletter to submit something funny... write abouttheir game... whatever...and since we’re doing anewsletter every Wednesday of every week, you haveplenty of time to come up with something! If yourteam doesn’t submit anything, and isn’t in thenewsletter, talk to your captain!

Ideas for Team SubmissionsWhen I say, submit something for your team, here are some ideas:• Play by plays of the game• Document the debauchery at the bar - i.e. describing someone’s

amazing acting skills hobbling across the bar with a “sprained ankle” just to Ice a teammate. ]

• Draw pictures!!!!!• Favorite quotes, poems, song lyrics, movie scripts, YouTube

video, or motivational speeches!• Email chains from the morning after .• Funny pictures of you, your team, or something random on the

internet• Give your team member awards - drunkest, loudest, person

with the least shame, best off the face catch, etc.!• Anything. Really. Someone on your team is creative.

Submissions are due EVERY Wednesday by 7 p.m.

Backyard Sports Club’s email is backyardsportsclub@gmail.com. I look forward to

working with all of you!

** If you need extra time, email me and just let me know.

DISCLAIMER: if you have problems with keeping your language in check,not bashing refs, being overly nasty to other teams, and other no-no’s,the Editor does have the right to not include your write up in thenewsletter if the content is deemed inappropriate or out of line. We willtry to screen write ups as they are received, will try to let teams know sothat they have time to resubmit, but there is no guarantee. The easiestthing to do is to keep it clean, be nice, and remember this is all in goodfun.

***The seasons have come to a close,

but before it ends, let’s party our

pants off and dance ALL night!

BACKYARDSports ClubEnd of Season

PARTYParty time is 7 pm – 10 pm. March 30,

2013. BYSC Winter Members are FREE,

Guests are $10. AYC Eat & Drink.

***

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Please send any requests for “Announcements” to backyardsportsclub@gmail.com

Hour Escape Massage Therapy3500 Virginia Beach Blvd, Suite 304, Virginia

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Everything from relaxation massages to injury rehabilitation.Swedish to Deep Tissue. We are all about customizing yourmassage to fit your specific needs. You deserve an "Hour Escape",you're worth it!

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Call to book an appointment 757-717-1931Gift Certificates available

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BYSC Tournament ScheduleFor ALL Leagues

Dodgeball March 22Powder Puff March 24Wiffleball March 10Volleyball March 20

Hair Graphics

Owner and MasterStylist, Joy Godfrey hasbeen creating avant-garde looks for over 10years. Educated by someof the leadingcompanies in the salonindustry; Vidall Sasson,Bumble &Bumble, Wella and PaulMitchel, to name afew. She has a acquireda multitude of skills togive clients the exactlook they want. Herwork is inspired by thelove of art and designspecializing in texturecuts and creative colortechniques. Joy believesthat your hair is a veryimportant part of yourlife, as well as your self-image and personalityand looks forward toworking with you.

WANNA ADVERTISE?If you have a business or an event that you want to

get out to the league, email me with details.

Cornhole TournamentSaturday, March 23rd

Let's all ban together and help raise money for one of our players! OnFeb. 10th, Sam Flowers from Touchdown My Pants, tore her MCL,ACL and partial LCL. She is a struggling college student, whounfortunately, has no insurance. We've all been there! Since she is awaitress at Outback, she has been unable to work.

Please join me and Backyard Sports Club in a Skeeball Tournament.ALL money raised will go towards Sam's medical bills. Let's help asista out!

This event requires pre-registration.backyardsportsclub.com/tournaments/13750-we-skee-for-sams-knee

Teams consist of two players/$20 per person

BYSC Spring LeaguesREGISTRATION IS NOW OPEN

• Recess Kickball – Weds.• Skeeball – Weds.• Blue Diamond Wiffle Ball – Thurs.• VB Surf Wiffle Ball (Sand) – Suns.

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Please send any requests for “Announcements” to backyardsportsclub@gmail.com

Tropical Smoothie211 25th Street

Virginia Beach, VA

Eat Better. Feel Better. If you’re looking for a healthy bite to eator looking to cater your next party, go to Tropical Smoothie at theOceanfront! Our very own, Nikki Rivera from Long N’ Hard Ballsowns this joint, so lets show her some love! Tropical Smoothieoffers high quality, great tasting food and smoothies that willleave you refreshed, not sluggish!

Backyard Sports Club SpecialAny person wearing their Backyard Sports Club shirt will receive 10% off your order. So I suggest you keep an extra BYSC shirt in

the back of your car!

This offer only valid at Tropical Smoothie at the Oceanfront!

Pembroke Chiropractic

Holly Hickson and MarcieMasterman from HoleyBalls in Your Mouth work atPembroke Chiropractic forDr. Mark Soccio. Allow yourbody to “Fall Into GoodHealth” this season withoutthe use of harmful drugs orsurgery. Our holisticapproach goes beyond themedical approach. Our firstgoal is to help you get outof pain as quickly aspossible by assisting yourbody’s inborn ability toheal. Discover Chiropractic!

Don’t forget to like us on Facebook!

Happy Healing!

757-490-5828

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Funding Factory Recycling Rumble

It’s Grassfield High vs. Clay County Schools, WV in the2013 Funding Factory Recycling Rumble, and you’ve gotwhat it takes for us to “out-recycle” the competition!

If you have any empty laser and inkjet cartridges, used cellphones, iPods, MP3 playrs, GPS devices, digital cameras,or any of the sort, drop them off at Grassfield High SchoolMain Entrance or with Stella Solorazano from DodgieStyle. NOW THROUGH APRIL 15th. With each item youcontribute, Grassfield High School will be closer to earninga 25% fundraising bonus and winning an Apple iPad!

Let’s help out one of our local schools to achieving one oftheir many goals!

MAKE SURE TO READ DETAILS FOR THE DOUBLE PITCHER CONTEST FOR NEXT WEEK!

Thanks for helping to bring the recycling title to Grassfield!

Charity Skeeball

T O U R N A M E N TWHEN & WHEREMarch 23 ▪ 1 pm - 5 pmMillions of Beers 1701 Parkview DriveChesapeake, VA 23320

The DEETS$20 per person. You must go to www.backyardsportsclub.comto register under the “Tournaments” tab.

WHOYour team will consist of 2 players. There is no gender requirement.

SCORINGThe scoring works as follows: Players will alternate turns. At the conclusion of eachplayers turn, their score will be applied to the total score for that set. At the end ofthe set, the team with the highest cumulative score will win. The winner of the matchwill be the first team to win 3 sets.

PRIZESThe top two teams will receive trophies. There will be a 50/50 raffle and lots of greatprizes will be raffled off. Team costumes are strongly encouraged and prizes will begiven to best team costume.

ALL money raised will go to Sam Flowers medical bills!

Stranger Danger 8 8 0 0You’re Killin me, Balls! 8 7 1 0Dodgeballs in YOUR Mouth! 8 6 2 0Dodgie Style 8 5 2 1 Sons of Pitches 8 5 3 0Sloppy Seconds 8 5 3 0Clown Babies 8 5 3 0 Anywhere But the Face 8 5 3 0Not Your Average Joes 8 4 3 1 Long N’ Hard Balls 8 2 6 0Silent Assassins 8 2 6 0 Snack Pack City 8 1 7 0Ballsagna 8 0 8 0Rings Around Uranus 8 0 8 0

Standings

Tournament Schedule

Team Name GP W L T

Best out of 7 games. Get to the field early, games may start earlier than anticipated!

8:30 PMCourt 1: (8) Anywhere But the Face vs. (9) Not Your Average Joe’s

Court 2: (4) Dodgie Style vs. (13) BallsagnaCourt 3: (12) Snack Pack City vs. (5) Sons of Pitches

9:00 PMCourt 1: (10) Long N’ Hard Balls vs. (7) Clown Babies

Court 2: (3) Dodgeballs in YOUR Mouth vs (14) Rings Around UranusCourt 3: (6) Sloppy Seconds vs. (11) Silent Assassins

9:30 PMCourt 1: (1) Stanger Danger vs. Winner of Court 1 (8:30)

Court 2: Winner of Court 2 (8:30) vs. Winner of Court 3 (8:30)Court 3: (2) You’re Killing Me, Balls! vs. Winner of Court 1 (9:00)Court 4: Winner of Court 2 (9:00) vs. Winner of Court 3 (9:00)

10:00 PM - Semi Finals

10:30 PM - Championship Game

Team write-ups

It was a cold, blistery evening on thefrozen tundra of a Chilled Pond inChesapeake. Two battle tested teamsmet for, what would be, the finalstruggle in a conflict that had stretchedback for several fortnights. The enemyfrom the south, clad in all red, hadrecently completed a battle and notshown well. They were bruised,battered. The challengers from the westwore their green armor and stood freshon the battleground, ready to competefor the honor of their peers. The WestHighland Pitches won the early battlessecuring a place deep behind enemylines. Early victories by Sir Wurst andPrince Gorham led the troops into asense of security. However, earlymistakes by Jesters Buker andDougherty allowed the Red Knights tostorm back. Alas, our fearless leaderKing Darden vanquished our foes withmercenary like precision. The battle hadbeen won. The war had been won.

- Will Buker

Promoting Ball Awareness...Since 2008

Last Friday was intense to say the least. Our opponentsseemed to feel the pressure of the last game of theseason. We started the games cool and laid back as wealways do because let’s be honest we are here in theleague to have FUN and socialize, but by the end of thegame we were as fired up and intense as they were.

Our weekly MVP goes to Dan Youngsma. Let me tell youwhen this guy gets angry beware… He took out 5 playerswithin 30 seconds and won us one of the games with anease we didn’t expect. Overall, the team opponents wereskilled, fun, and a great competition minus certainparticular character that was driving our whole teaminsane. <name omitted to protect the guilty>.

- Natalia

New Double Pitcher Strategy:

1. Hire Argo's screenwriter2. Hire Justin Timberlake's choreographer

(This is the only way to win things now.Sh*t's getting intense. )

3. Make sure Jamie "The Hulk" Hopkinskeeps his sweatband on and doesn't getangry at the bar. (For the protection ofDouble Pitcher participants, ofcourse...and so he'll still do the Wobble.)

-Balls, Brannon

Team write-ups

It was an epic battle between Not Your Average Joe's andTeam Philippines (Stella's team duh). They started off like abunch of little Manny Pacquiaos dominating us from the getgo. We didn't give up however, and started to make thebiggest comeback in world history. It rivals Kurt Warner'scomeback from bagging groceries, post world war 2Japan/Germany and Lance Armstrong's fight back fromgetting one of his balls chopped off ( although the lastexample does not inspire as much as it used to ). We endedup tying the game and Mr. Son of a Pitch himself Will Bukerwas gonna let us play one more right before time expired,and then El Presidente Tom made one of the most erroneouscalls ever by ending this historic match in a tie.ERRONEOUS!!! We'll see you in the second round StrangerDanger (since we're probably gonna breeze thru KatyBattista's team). The serpentine and the eagles are comingfor ya'll. As dissapointing as it was to not get a chance to getthe W, we made up for it by winning double pitcher contest.The pictures speak for themselves. Thanks Eddie andAmanda. Just give us the Most Fun Team Overall trophy forthe season (with apologies to some Infant Clowns)

- Joe Equitan

We started the first match with only six people – twoguys & four girls and won! Our man Kyle showed up intime for the second match; we were still down a manbut our odds were better with four girls and threeguys. Even so, we didn’t pull off a win for the night, butwe played hard. There were a few long matches andwe definitely held our own while being short aplayer. The girls were killing it with team work andcommunication. Caren went one on one with Terrenceand had him spent. The guys were definitely at the topof their game. Chip played one of the best games Ithink I’ve seen him play; he was catching balls andhitting people left and right. We’ve had a lack of winsthis season but have played some great games. We’lldefinitely be bringing our A game to the tournamentnext week!

- Whooty

Team write-ups

This was probably the most anticipated game of the season beingthat it was supposed to be played the first week. As you all know,the first week did not happen because of the crappy weather inHampton Roads! Anyway, I think this game was jinxed from thebeginning. The standings had already listed this game as a tiesince it had not yet been played. And what do you know…itended in a tie! So you know that saying…”a tie is just like kissingyour sister…” Yep, that’s pretty much how we all felt! Will Bukertried to be a nice guy and let us have another match, but Tomquickly came over and nixed that idea. Thanks, Tom! This gamewill go down in history as another historic tie-kinda like the 49ersand Rams in Nov 2012!Anyway, this was a fun game nonetheless! We thoroughlyenjoyed Not Your Average Joe’s turf-side shenanigans…TheSerpentine and The Eagle were classic! It was hard to keep astraight face. NYAJ were all over the place! As much fun aseveryone was having, I’m not gonna lie, I hid behind my 6”4” booon the sidelines most of the time. Jamie has got an arm and Iseriously think he was trying to kill me!!! MVP for both teamsdefinitely went to the ladies again-Nicole Dewey on NYAJ and KyBrown on Dodgie Style!More thoughts from my teammates:Kimberly Williams “this was definitely the most honest teamwe’ve played all season!”Matt Dupuis “Ties suck! Should be able to play one more game-there should be a winner and a loser!”

- Stella Solorzano

Stranger Danger finishes a perfect regular season 8-0!Boooyaaaaa, and thanks to Snack Pack City for anawesome game. Captain Jen Price managed toembarass me once or twice. Everyone knows SnackPack has the top cheer squad in the league, and theymade it apparent. Nevertheless, Stranger Dangercame together and pulled out the win tocomplete a flawless season.

- Tom Zuppke

Team write-ups

Sloppies came out in full force to ref, I think at onepoint we had a whole seven out making calls.However, when it came to play, only one moreshowed. At first we were a little scared that wewouldn’t be able to pull off the win with only eight(3 boys, 5 girls). Sloppy Seconds pulled together as ateam and played a well thought out game. The girlswere making catches and were able to nail theother team with awesome throws. Ronnie, Marc,and Kevin took the grunt of the running to get theballs at the start of the matches. It wasn’t the luckof the Irish that led the Sloppy Seconds to victory,but great communication and lots of skill andstrategy. Thank you to Rings around Uranus for afun last regular season game. Also, huge thanks toMike, who ran to get all of our lose balls for uswhenever we were all in the game. I think at times,he worked harder than those who were in. Kudosto Cali, Amy, Liz, Sarah, Kathleen, Marc, Kevin, andRonnie on an awesome game! Now it’s time toshow Not Your Average Joes who is sloppy seconds.

- Jon Reyes

Another win for YKMB!!! ...45 mins earlier. Roughstart for us. Long and Hard was coming off their firstgame of the double header. They were definitely alot more warmed-up and ready to go than us becausethey kicked our butts the first 2 games and had us alittle worried. Luckily things started to click as weworked on a few lineups and player combos for theplayoffs, and we went on a win streak from therepretty much removing all doubt we might have had atthe beginning of the match. Long and Hard put up agood fight though, I don't remember any of theindividual games being an easy win for us. All in all Ithink everybody had a good time!!! Good Luck toeveryone in the Playoffs.

- El Capitan Shaun

The HookupThere's Something About the Green Ones

Age: Old enough to know better

Weight: How dare you! (but seriously...I can be tossed around. Yeah, I meant it that way)

Likes: Being squeezed. Yum.

Dislikes: Ball bags and those slutty stingers

Best Attribute: Honey, I can't even choose. That's your job.

Appearance: Beauty of this magnitude can't be described in words. Wait...yes it can. ROUND hotness.

Shortcomings: Can sometimes be intimidating

If Green is your thing, I’m the one for you, and no, I don’t mind going both ways! Actually, I like going ALLways…in the air, back and forth, rolling through the turf, in small hands, big hands, white hands, brown hands.One fish. Two fish. Red fish. Blue fish. What I’m NOT into are Jamie’s! Thank GAWD my sister, Orange, was onJamie duty the day of the Harlem Shake. I would have been scarred for life!

I’m strong, fierce and independent, MEOW, but I’ll also look out for you cause I’m the protector-type. Don’t letmy earthy tones fool you though – I can be a firecracker too, and I’m not afraid to smack a b*tch when necessary!

What I'm looking for:Someone that plays nicely with others but also that take charge type. To fit perfectly in your arms, the arms of a champion TBD (cause you're going to need stamina to make it to that final round. *added bonus* for me). I want someone that encourages me to explore new horizons but is such a desirable target, they keep me coming back for more. Don't dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge me...love me

Perfect First Date:BYSC Dodgeball Playoffs. See you there...til the last round.

DOUBLE Pitcher Contest

Congrats Eddie Mac and Amanda Mason….Thrift Shop King and Queen!

“How Low Can You Go?”It’s a LIMBO off! Each team will nominate 1 girl and 1 guy. The pole holders will lower the pole in increments. One

person at a time, players will walk or dance under the pole, bending backwards ONLY. You will be eliminated if you fall,

touch the pole, or if you touch anyone else. The person able to go the lowest, WINS the double pitchers for their team!

Friday March 22nd Contest

7

Charities & Sponsor Barwww.backyardsportsclub.com

Drink Specials• $2.50 Pint Domestic Drafts

• $9 Domestic Pitchers

• $3.50 Well Cocktails

Provided to Each Winning Team• 1 pizza with 2 toppings at Eagles Nest

Or

• 20 wings at Million’s of Beers

CARPE FREEZUM at the coolest event of the year!

The Polar Plunge® Winter Festival is Special Olympics Virginia’s largest fundraiser, attractingmore than 10,000 people to an otherwise deserted beachfront in February. Individuals andteams, alongside our athletes and thousands of community members, experienceheartwarming and bone chilling extremes as they take the plunge into the icy Atlantic Oceanin the height of winter!

About Special Olympics

Special Olympics Virginia is a year-round program of sports training and athletic competitionfor children and adults with intellectual disabilities. We serve more than 10,000 athletesthroughout the Commonwealth. Thanks to a statewide volunteer network of more than20,000 and the support of generous partners throughout Virginia, athletes pay nothing toparticipate. And with nearly 2,000 events annually, including seven state-level competitionsand numerous extreme fundraisers like the Polar Plunge, we invite everyone to join us inour mission to open hearts and change minds about people with intellectual disabilities.

Chesapeake, Virginia Backyard Sports Club, Hampton Roads Crossfire League