Table for One

8/14/2019 Table for One

1/98

"table for one"

Dominic Jenkinson

Copyright [email protected]


2/98

FADE IN:

INT. GARDEN - DAY

SUPER: SPRING 1979

A womans angry voice. An argument rages. Muted, but nearby.

An Action Man doll sits alone at a table. Hes dressed in apastel cardigan, more appropriate to Barbies Ken.

Moving along the unkempt lawn, several Barbie and Ken styledolls sit as couples at tables.

Two girls muse over the single doll from a set of swings.

BETH, 10, skinny, serious, teary eyed. Glances to a nearby,shabby house, source of the argument.

SARAH, 10, chubby, freckles, a frizz of red hair, chomps ongum as she studies the dolls. Looks to Beth and shrugs.

BETHI think Marco is better suited toKristell.

Sarah nods as Beth leans forward and switches two dolls.

SARAHThat still leaves Brian.

Beth turns from the crashes and shouts of the house to thelone Action Man doll. She bites her lip.

A tortoise plods past the toy couples. Beth leans forwardand picks him up. His head retracts into his shell.

BETHRoom in there for me?

The argument is reaching a climax.

Beth places the tortoise next to lonely Brian. Looks toSarah. More crashes and screams from the house.

BETHNice to have a friend, at least...

They turn to a PUNKY WOMAN, 25, orange leggings, Sex PistolsT-Shirt, who storms from the house with a bulging suitcase.


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2.

SARAHI dont think thats a good match.

Beths DAD, 45, defeated and tired in a beige cardigan,watches Punky stomp away.

She stops abruptly by the swings, leans down to Beth.

PUNKY WOMANIm sorry, Beth. But I can see whyyour mum couldnt stick it.

Beth puts her hands to her eyes. Sarah places a comfortingarm around her shoulder.

In the doorway, Beths dad looks to a piece of toast heholds. A thick end slice, a crust. He takes an ambivalentbite. Smiles.

Sarah nods toward him. Beth jumps from her swing.

SARAHBeth, wait.

Beth turns back to her.

SARAH(earnest)

I know youre only ten, and Im tenand three quarters, but Ill beyour best friend for ever and ever.

Beth smiles through her tears and runs to her dad.

BETHHas she gone, Dad? Has auntieSharon left?

DADShe wasnt your auntie.

BETHI know... Has she gone?

DADAfraid so, love... On my own again.

He rubs Beths head with one hand and takes another bitefrom his thick piece of toast.

FADE OUT.


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3.

SUPER: "NOT BY BREAD ALONE"

FADE IN:

EXT: BUILDING SITE - DAY - PRESENT DAY

DAVE JACKSON, 40, sits against a brick wall. A big man, hewipes sweat from his brow with tanned forearms covered infaded green tattoo ink.

He concentrates on a paperback, "Roti and Rye by PAT PATEL."

Six builders crash by, punting a football. They shout inPolish. A small builder with a limp, struggles after them.

Dave shakes his head at the book. Places a bookmark a singlepage in, rubs his temple and checks his watch.

He takes a package from a battered leather satchel. Unwrapsbrown paper and holds up a magnificent sandwich.

He admires the thick slices and takes a bite.

LATER

The builders slop mortar and add bricks to a section ofwall. They laugh and joke in Polish.

On his own section of wall, Dave works in silence. He checks

his watch. His shirt is covered in sweat and grime.

EXT. PORTABLE TOILET - DAY

A fat BOSS, 50, in shabby suit and a hard hat, bangs on thedoor of the single toilet.

Builders pass and nod goodbye.

BOSS(Polish accent)

Come on, come on. Too long. Toolong.

DAVE (O.S.)Almost done.

The boss shakes his head. Checks his watch. He fishes a coinfrom his pocket and uses it to twist the lock open.


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4.

Dave stands naked from the waist up. He washes suds from hislathered up face and body.

BOSSI fuckin told you. You do this athome! Get!

He jabs his thumb to point which way he wants Dave. Hesqueezes past him, pushes him out.

DAVEOkay! Its just... Im meetingsomeone.

BOSSDont care. Same every day! Wash athome! I bostin for a shit!

The boss slams the door. Dave pulls a towel and fresh shirtfrom his satchel and wipes the suds from his body.

EXT. BUS STOP - DAY

Dave towers above the rest of the queue. His mouth formseach word as he reads his novel. He checks his watch.

INSERT: DIGITAL WATCH, 5.48pm.

A double-decker rises over the brow of a hill. The number onthe front illuminated: 41.

Dave allows an old lady to board before him.

BUS

A bearded DRIVER gives Dave a smile and wink of recognition.

DRIVERGood day, mate?

DAVEIt is now.

DRIVERThats it. Homeward bound.

Dave shows his pass and walks to the empty rear bench seat.

He checks his reflection in the window. Straightens hiscollar, gives each arm pit a tentative sniff.

Satisfied he sits back and stares out of the window.


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5.

A framed moving picture of grey factories, warehouses andchimneys, punctuated by the brown scrub of dead land.

The bus slows to a halt. Dave looks forward, fidgets withhis satchel, straightens his shirt.

A petite and pretty Indian woman in a red sari, CHHAYA, 31,boards the bus. Dave watches her, spellbound.

She walks down the aisle to the wheel arch side-on-seat, andsteals a diagonal glance at Dave.

He nonchalantly gives her a smile and nod. Chhaya smilesback, almost relieved. She nervously searches her handbag.

She takes a battered copy of "Roti and Rye" from her bag,and pushes her long dark hair back over her shoulders.

He stares away from her, out of the window. His fingers grip

his book inside his satchel.

LATER

The bus heads toward a smoggy sunset. Chhaya stands andlooks at Dave. She nods her head at him, he smiles and nodsback. She exits the bus.

INT. SUPERMARKET CHECKOUT - DAY

Dave places a microwave meal for one, some beer, and a bag

of yeast on the conveyor belt.

He glances at a young couple, their shopping piled high. Acolourful array of fruits, vegetables and produce.

An old man in a pork pie hat, ERIC, 72, has his back to him.The cashier scans his tin of tomato soup and loaf of bread.

The old man offers the CASHIER a Lottery slip.

CASHIERYou do the Lotto at the kiosk.

She idly pokes a thumb over her shoulder. The old man nods.

The cashier turns to Dave, eyes to the heavens and a shakeof her head. Dave opens his mouth, but doesnt speak.


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INT. DAVES KITCHEN - NIGHT

Dave enters his 1970s kitchen. His satchel dropped wearilyon the table, beers in the fridge, meal in the microwave.

A cupboard is opened, various bags and containers are placed

neatly on the counter next to a gleaming white bread maker.

Big hands work fast and precise. Flour and yeast measured byhand and eye. A switch flicked, the machine churns.

INT. DAVES LOUNGE - NIGHT

Dave sips a beer and reads a newspaper. His finger tracesalong situations vacant. He circles a few adverts.

EXT. BUILDING SITE - DAY

Dave sits alone against his wall. He mouths the words fromhis novel as he reads.

Other builders punt their football. The smaller builderhobbles after them.

Dave replaces his bookmark and takes a package from hissatchel. He inhales the bread deeply and smiles.

The ball breaks to the small builder. He punts it for allhis worth. It flies high and off the site.

The other builders shout at him in Polish.

A tough looking builder walks over and grabs him by thelapels. He looks fearful.

Dave looks around. The other builders laugh. Dave slowlyrises. He changes his mind, sits back down.

The smaller man is thrown to the floor. The others walkaway. Dave looks down at his sandwich in silence.

EXT. PORTABLE TOILET - DAY

Dave clutches his satchel. A heavy padlock and chain securethe door. The Boss walks by, laughing.


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7.


Dave stands in his undies next to a rusty tap. Waterspatters onto the dusty soil.

He wets his soap and goes to work on his chest and armpits.

He stoops under the tap and into the freezing water flow.

DAVEJesus!

Out of the water, he pulls a towel from his satchel. Driesoff and puts on a fresh shirt.

EXT. BUS STOP - DAY

Dave joins the queue, out of breath. The old lady taps herwatch. Dave smiles as the 41 bus arrives.

INT. BUS - DAY

Chhaya glides down the aisle like an Indian Princess. Shetakes her side-on-seat, looks nervously to Dave. Theyexchange embarrassed smiles. Dave looks out of his window.

He fidgets with his satchel, realises hes fidgeting, andplaces it on the seat next to him.

CHHAYA (O.S)(slight Indian accent)

Youll lose your book.

Dave turns to her, she nods at his satchel.

The seam has split and half of his novel protrudes. He looksat Chhaya guiltily. She holds up her copy.

CHHAYAAre you enjoying it?

DAVESorry?

CHHAYAThe book, do you like it?

Dave tucks the book back into his bag.

DAVEYeah, yeah, its good. I only juststarted it. Im a slow reader.


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9.

INT. DAVES LOUNGE - NIGHT

Dave sits on his sofa. He concentrates on his book. The roomis completely silent and still.

DAVE"This was his station in life and

he must live it. If he could findit in himself to change it, hewould. As he could not, it would belived as it was, without her."

Dave shakes his head, stands up and walks to his mirror. Helooks at his reflection, licks his lower lip. Looks ready tospeak... He closes his eyes. He cant.

EXT. BUS STOP - DAY

Dave reads as he stands next to the bus stop regulars. He

checks his watch.

INSERT: Digital watch "5.48pm"

The 41 climbs over the brow of the hill.

INT. BUS - DAY

Dave stuffs the book into his satchel. Chhaya walks down theaisle, she gives Dave a smile that could melt hearts.

She sits down on the side seat, holds up her book.

CHHAYANearly finished.

A bookmark protrudes from the last few pages. Dave smiles,licks his bottom lip.

CHHAYAWhat attracted you to this one?

DAVEI just saw it. Liked the look ofit... Its different.Interesting... You?

CHHAYA(smiles)

Honestly? I found it on here.

She points behind her seat.


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10.

CHHAYABut it was a book I wanted to read.You need to hurry up and finish. Iwant to talk to you about it.

DAVE

Alright, should just be anotherdecade.

Chhaya smiles again. A pause. She looks at Dave, almostexpectant of conversation. Dave licks his lower lip again,looks at his shoes, then turns to the window.

The reflection shows Chhaya watch him for a moment, thenopen her book, disappointed.


Dave stands next to items on the belt. A four pack of beer,a microwave meal, a bag of flour.

In front, COLIN, 45, fidgets and scratches his bald head. Henervously fusses with his items, a large bottle of vodka, amicrowave chicken dinner and a box of paracetamol.


Dave traces a finger down the small ads. He circles a fewbakery jobs. He turns to the bread maker as it churns.


The builders chase their football.

Dave takes a bite from his sandwich. He picks up his bookand opens it.

The football knocks the book from his hand, his sandwichfalls in the dirt.

Dave looks up at the builders. One laughs. Another BUILDERsmiles and walks over to Dave.

BUILDER(Polish accent)

Sorry, mate.

Dave stares at him as he chases after the ball. He brushessoil from his book.


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11.

LATER

Dave tentatively washes under the tap. He towels off andtakes a fresh shirt from his satchel.

EXT. BUS STOP - DAY

Dave checks his watch.


Muttering and silent consternation from the bus stopregulars. The old lady checks her watch, shakes her head.

Dave looks to the horizon. A 41 appears over the hill. Hesmiles.

Another 41 appears close behind, and then another.

Dave and the regulars exchange puzzled looks.

The buses all pull to a stop. Some people get off. Davelooks into the first at an ELDERLY DRIVER.

DAVEIs this the five forty eight?

ELDERLY DRIVERYour guess is as good as mine. Bitof trouble up the hill. All gotbacked up. All forty ones though.All the same.

DAVEIll try the other one.

The Elderly Driver shrugs. Dave dashes to the second bus.Sees the bearded Driver. Dave steps aboard the

BUS

and smiles.

DRIVERThought you were jumping ship on methen. Good day?

DAVEIt is now. This is the five fortyeight?

The driver nods.


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12.

DRIVERNot that it makes any difference.Accident on the hill. A crash.Thirty eight and me got backed up.All the same though?

DAVESort of... Homeward bound.

Goes to his regular seat, takes his book from a new satchel.

He reads, but his attention is distracted. He looks to thebus in front and behind. He drums his fingers nervously.

EXT. ROAD - DAY

The three buses pass by in close formation.

EXT. BUS STOP - DAY

Chhaya stands in a purple sari. The three buses pull to astop. A few passengers get off each bus.

Chhaya looks puzzled. Tries to see through a window on thefirst bus, just sees her reflection.

BUS

Dave looks out of the window. He sees Chhaya step on to the

bus in front. The doors close.

He licks his bottom lip, fidgets with his satchel. A moment.

His bus edges forward.

DAVEHold it!

He jumps up, runs down the aisle. The driver looks puzzled.

STREET

Dave dashes to the bus in front. It pulls away. He bangs onthe door.

The Elderly Driver looks to him puzzled. The doors open.


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13.

DAVESorry, I changed me mind.

The driver shrugs his shoulders as Dave boards the

OTHER BUS

Chhaya, sad, in her familiar seat. She sees Dave, gives awinning smile. Dave takes a deep breath and sits down.

DAVEHows the book going?

CHHAYA(laughing)

You swapped buses!

Dave shrugs his shoulders... but smirks.

CHHAYAAlmost the end of the story.

DAVEI hope its a good ending.

CHHAYAIm sure. I wont say a thing untilyoure finished.

DAVEFunny about the buses, eh?

CHHAYA(enthusiastic)

Yes, I didnt know which one youwould be on.

Dave looks surprised, pleased. Chhaya realises what shesaid, looks slightly embarrassed.

CHHAYATo... See how youre enjoying thebook...

Dave blushes. He smiles and nods. Busies himself fiddlingwith his satchel.

The bus stops. Two men board. CHUNKY, 19, over-gelled hair,and SKINNY, 19, bad skin, bad moustache.

They pay and noisily push each other down the aisle.


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14.

SKINNY YOUTHMove it, ya nob!

CHUNKY YOUTHIt was you who lost me my bike, yafuckin gay!

They bounce aggressively onto the side seat opposite Chhaya.

Dave looks at his feet. Chhaya reads her book.

The youths shove each other a few more times. Skinny looksat Chhaya. Nudges Chunky, conspiratorially.

CHUNKY YOUTHWhatcha reading, love?

Daves eyes flick up momentarily. Skinny stares at Chhaya.

Chhaya angles her book. The cover shows an Indian girlfolding roti bread.

SKINNY YOUTHIts a fuckin book, innit.

CHUNKY YOUTHI know that.

Dave steals a glance at Chhaya. She stares at her book.

CHUNKY YOUTHIts a Paki book, innit?

Chhaya takes a deep breath. Her eyes dont leave her book.

The youths stare at her.

SKINNY YOUTHNot talking are ya?

Dave takes a deep breath. Looks from Chhaya to the youths.

DAVEShut up, or Ill get the driver.

SKINNY YOUTHThe fuck asked you?

DAVEJust shut up and get off the bus.

The youths laugh.


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15.

CHUNKY YOUTHWho made you inspector? Yourgirlfriend is she?

He punctuates the last word by flicking his scrunched upticket at Chhaya. It bounces of her shoulder.

Daves fist slams into Chunkys head, propelling it intoSkinnys face. Blood. Chunky goes down. Chhaya gasps.

SKINNY YOUTHFuckin hell!

Passengers spin around as Chunky hits the floor. Skinnyspins toward Dave, straight into a fist in his stomach. Hefalls forward, into an upper cut that sends him down.

The bus slams to a halt. Chunky slowly rises, Dave stomps onhis back, and again.

CHHAYAStop!

Chhaya is crying. Dave seems to snap out of a haze. Heswallows, looks at the youths at his feet.

Chhaya jumps up. She runs down the aisle in tears.

PASSENGERSomebody call an Ambulance!

PASSENGER 2

And the police!

Dave looks around him. He shuffles over to the emergencyexit, flicks the handle. The ALARM sounds. He jumps out.

STREET

Dave watches Chhaya run away. He takes a step in herdirection. Pauses. He turns away and heads toward an alley.

SIRENS in the distance.


Dave slops mortar on a wall. Places a brick and taps it intoplace. He checks his watch, walks away from the wall.


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16.

EXT. BUS STOP - DAY

Dave, in his unchanged, stained work shirt. A different setof people in the bus queue.


A bus climbs over the hill.

BUS

An Asian bus driver nods at Dave. Dave heads up the stairs.


Dave stands next to his items on the conveyor belt. Fourpack of beer, a microwave curry, a packet of yeast.

In front of him, ANDY, 30, scruffy suit and yesterdaysstubble. On the belt, twenty or so bottles of red wine.


The bread maker churns. Dave sips a beer. He opens a letter.

INSERT: Letter, a logo "Dougals Bakery."

He reads the letter. A look of defeat.

A drawer opens, Dave drops his letter in with a pile ofrejections. His copy of "Roti and Rye" lies amongst them.

He sits down at the table, looks at the small ads. Deepsigh. He screws the sheet up and throws it away.

His hands go to his face, he tries to hold back the tears.

FADE OUT.

FADE IN:

EXT. PAVEMENT CAFE - DAY

SUPER: SUMMER 1999

Beth, now 30, pretty, petite, slightly intense behindfuck-me glasses. A ponytail hangs forward over one shoulder.

Opposite, Sarah, also 30, chunky, freckles, frizz of redhair, in smart business suit. They both sip champagne.


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17.

SARAHOkay, so youre sticking with Tom?

BETHYes. No doubt in my mind.

SARAHIn the whole universe of Beth, yourbest relationship was with atortoise?

BETHI used to pretend we would getmarried and live happily everafter.

SARAHTom the tortoise... What everhappened to him?

BETHHe ran away.

Sarah cracks up. Beth affects being hurt.

BETHIm glad you find it so funny.

SARAHTortoises cant run.

BETH

Technically they cant. But theycan walk really fast. And anyway,he left me.

SARAHAwww, thats so sweet.

She holds up her champagne flute. They clink glasses.

SARAHOkay, o fellow singleton. Forgetbest, what was the worst?

BETHThat I was involved in?

SARAHYes, otherwise it would have to bethe time that you set up Vicky andMike.


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BETHYoure just jealous. You knowtheyre perfect together.

SARAHYes. They are. How does that help

me again?

Beth smiles and shrugs her shoulders.

BETHHes not your type. Well, you mightof fancied him, but trust me, itwouldnt have worked. Thats solidgold Beth dating advice.

SARAHLike dont trust a tortoise,theyll run out on you every time.

BETHYes. The little bastards.

A handsome WAITER, 25, glides by the table, smiles.

SARAH(whispers)

Thats the one, did you mention meto him?

BETHYes, but he looks about twelve

years old... Apart from the marriedface.

SARAHThe what? Whats a married face?

BETHHe just looks married. I cantell... And yes, I know thatsnever stopped you before.

SARAHWell... Healthy relationships canblossom from the most complicatedof situations.

BETHUm, name one healthy relationshipyouve had with a married man?


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19.

SARAH(thinks)

Mmmm, Justin?

BETHThe guy from the gym? Are you

insane? His wife turned up at youroffice. How was that healthy?

SARAHI got a free six month membership.

Beth makes the drum roll/cymbal noise. BU-DUM-TISH!

SARAHSorry, we shouldnt be talkingabout failed relationships. Nottoday.

BETHThis is true.

Sarah pours two glasses and raises a toast.

SARAHTo business.

BETHRelationships.

SARAHBoth.

They drink. The waiter walks over, smiles at Sarah.

WAITERCan I get you ladies anything else?

Sarah gives subtle nods and looks to Beth.

BETH(reluctant)

Were fine... This is my friend Itold you about, Sarah. From themarketing firm?

WAITER(to Sarah)

Oh yeah, how you doing? Beth wastelling me you paint. Im a bit ofa wannabe artist myself.


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20.

SARAHWell, Ive been known to dabble.

Beth raises her eyebrows slightly.

BETH

Shes very talented.

WAITERId like to see your work.

SARAHOh, really? Its pretty amateurish.

WAITERHey, me too. Here, give me a callsometime.

He winks and takes a card from his wallet. Hands it to her

with his left hand. Sarah takes the card. Beth frowns.

BETHThanks. Can we get the bill?

WAITERSure... Be right back.

He winks at Sarah and exits. Beth shakes her head to Sarah.

BETHMarried.

SARAHWhat?

Beth holds up her left hand. Taps her ring finger.

BETHTook his ring off.

SARAHSerious?

BETHYup. White patch.

Beth points to her ring finger.

SARAHGood spot. Shit, I should of gotthat. Whered I be without you?


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BETHEither involved in an incrediblybad affair with a married man, or acomplete stop-at-home internetaddict.

Sarah laughs and throws the screwed up card at Beth... Justas the waiter returns. He sees the screwed up card, raiseshis eyebrows and backs away toward the cafe.

Beth and Sarah look like a couple of naughty schoolgirls.Unable to hold back any longer they crease up laughing.

FADE OUT.

SUPER: "STALE"

FADE IN:

INT. ELEVATOR - DAY

Colins male pattern baldness, spectacles and unfashionablesuit contrasts with a group of younger, cooler executives.

FEMALE EXECMaris bringing people. Does sheknow where were going?

Colin looks to a MALE EXEC. Awaits his response.

MALE EXECWell, the eternal question. TheParrot or the Grapes?

Colin muses the choice. Looks to another FEMALE EXEC.

FEMALE EXEC 2Just make a decision already. Ineed to text Maz.

Colin looks to the heavens, a subtle shake of his head.

MALE EXECOkay, The Parrot. Do it.

Colin nods. A wise choice. The elevator doors open to an


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22.

OFFICE LOBBY

The execs exit in a breeze of chatter, oblivious. Colintrudges behind them.

An elderly uniformed doorman smiles at him. Colin smiles,

approaches him, holds out a cardboard box.

COLINSome cakes, from the meeting. Forthe kids. Thought it a shame towaste.

The doorman gives him a big smile and takes the box.

EXT. STREET - DAY

Colin strolls past the buzz and chat of bar and restaurant

patios. City types drink, smoke and wind down.

Diners laugh and chat over menus. A waiter carries a tray ofsizzling plates to standees at a barrel table. An expectant"whooo" from the diners.

The execs from the elevator, under a patio heater, clinkglasses and chat. Colin smiles, watches for a moment.

MALE EXECSaw he had the bloody cakesagain... Odd bod. I bet he indexeshis porn collection!

Laughter. Colin, unseen by them, moves away.

EXT. PATIO - DAY

Colin places a pint of beer on a barrel table and turns on apatio heater. He takes a sip and looks around.

Not the bar, a domestic patio, at the rear of his house.

He steps through patio doors into his dated

LOUNGE

past his old school TV and sofa.


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23.

KITCHEN

Chicken breast, vegetables and gravy sizzle on a stoneplate. Kitchen gloves place it on a tray.

LOUNGE

Colin carries the meal toward his patio. A phone RINGS.

He jumps. The tray wobbles, he tries to grab it, the plateslides off the tray, hits the sofa. The contents slide downthe back of the cushions.

He turns slowly to the telephone. Looks at it like its analien object. Takes a tentative step toward it.

A spiders web stretches from the receiver to the table.

Colin picks it up.

COLINHello?

COLD CALLER (O.S)(Indian accent)

Hello, is that Mr. Jackson?

COLINNo, this is Colin.

COLD CALLER (O.S)Oh, well may I speak with Mr.Jackson, please?

COLINThere isnt a Mr. Jackson. Just me,Colin.

COLD CALLER (O.S)Well, Mr. Colin, Im sorry todisturb you, good evening --

COLINNo, thats okay... Is this call,

um, originating in the U.K?

COLD CALLER (O.S)Excuse me, sir?

COLINAre, are you calling from the U.K.or from an Indian call centre?


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COLD CALLER (O.S)Sir, we are based in Mumbai, inIndia.

Colin smiles, leans against his wall.

COLINReally? What time is it there?

COLD CALLER (O.S)Sir, its just half past eleven.

COLINReally? Hows the weather?

COLD CALLER (O.S)Sir, Im sorry, I have to makeanother call now.

COLINOh... just wondered if monsoon --

Click. The line goes dead. He replaces the receiver.

KITCHEN

Colin opens a cupboard. Rows of cleaning fluids andpolishes, perfect height order.

Clipped to the side, a dustpan and brush, dynotaped "DRY."Opposite, another set, labelled "WET."

LOUNGE

Colin bends over the sofa. He places items from his mealinto a bin. He takes a sponge from a bowl of soapy water.

KITCHEN

Colin tidies items away. A pair of disposable gloves aredropped into a bin.

He opens a freezer. Six large Tupperware containers,individually dynotaped "Sunday" to "Friday."

He removes "Monday" and places it on the table. He opens thelid. An identical, but frozen chicken and vegetables dinner.

He looks to a calendar. The days of the week are neatlycircled in ink. Today is Sunday.


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25.

He looks to the dinner, considers for a moment. Shakes hishead, replaces the lid, and puts it back in the freezer.

He opens the fridge. Similar containers labelled with eachday of the week.

EXT. COLINS FRONT GARDEN - DAY

Colin, in hat, coat and scarf, closes the door and checks itis locked.

His garden is neat, without extravagance. He bends and picksup a single leaf that lies on the grass.

A short distance away, a bus shelter. Chunky and Skinny siton a bench. Chunky nudges Skinny, nods at Colin.

SKINNY YOUTH

Oy, mate!

Colin, head down. Not again. Ignores them.

SKINNY YOUTHOy, mate! Im talking to ya.

Chunky passes a cigarette to Skinny. Colin looks up.

SKINNY YOUTHGet us a pack of fags, will ya?

COLIN

Sorry?

SKINNY YOUTHCan-you-get-us-a-packet-of-cigarettes-please?

COLINIm, Im not -- Im going todinner.

SKINNY YOUTHYeah, well get the fags, and bringem back here on ya way back. Illgive ya the dosh later.

Chunky looks away as he sniggers.

COLINOkay.


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26.

SKINNY YOUTHDont be long. I wanna get a busbefore they finish.

Colin walks past the youths at a pace. Laughter behind him.

INT. INDIAN RESTAURANT - DAY

Colin walks into a cosy but garishly coloured receptionarea. An INDIAN WAITER, 59, smiles at him, a bit puzzled.

INDIAN WAITERHello, my friend. How are you?

COLIN(smiles nervously)

Im good. Fine thank you.

INDIAN WAITERI wasnt expecting you until nextSaturday. Two nights in a row. Whatdo we owe this pleasure?

COLINOh, you cant live life to a strictroutine, can you?

The waiter raises his eyebrows. A tight lipped smile.

COLINSorry, do you have a table?

INDIAN WAITERJust for...

The waiter holds up a single finger.

COLINYes.

INDIAN WAITERIts Sunday, its quiet. We canalways accommodate you, my friend.

He leads Colin to a table in the almost empty restaurant.

INDIAN WAITERThe usual?

Colin considers for a moment.


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27.

COLINYes, I think so.

The waiter nods.

INDIAN WAITER

Very well.

He smiles and exits. Colin drums his fingers nervously onthe table. He stares at a picture on the wall.

He unrolls his napkin, refolds it. Drums his fingers on thetable, scratches his bald head, looks at his watch.

Fingers drum nervously on the table.

He stands up, walks toward the exit.

INDIAN WAITER(O.S)

My friend?

Colin turns to him.

COLINIll be back in a minute. Well,five or so, to be more accurate.

INDIAN MAN(puzzled)

Okay. Its no problem.

Colin exits to the

STREET

and walks at a pace into a

NEWSAGENTS

A young Goth-lite female ASSISTANT.

COLINA packet of cigarettes, please.

ASSISTANTYou what?

COLINUm, a packet of cigarettes?


29/98

28.

ASSISTANTDuh, which ones?

She sarcastically holds up her hand to indicate themultitude of brands behind her.

COLINOh, yes, I see. Um...

He looks at them, studying the various labels and logos.

COLINWhich are the best?

ASSISTANTThe best?

COLINWhich are most popular? With young

folk?

She hands him a packet of 20 "Bastards."

COLINThank you.

He heads for the exit.

ASSISTANTWhatever.

Colin almost pauses.

STREET

At a pace past shops.

He cuts down an alleyway, like an Olympic speed walker. Heturns into a residential street and sees the bus shelter.

A bus pulls up. The number: 41.

COLINWait!

Not hearing, the youths get on the bus. Colin breaks into ajog toward them. The doors close, the bus pulls away.

He stops, holds the cigarettes up as it pulls away.

He turns to his house, looks back the way he just came. Intwo minds which way to go. He looks fed up.


30/98

29.

A door opens on his neighbours house. An IRISH MAN, 29,peers out. He holds a letter in his hand.

IRISH MANColin?

COLINYes.

IRISH MANThought so. The postman put thisthrough the wrong door.

He hands Colin a letter. Its been opened.

COLINOh, thank you.

Colin looks up.

COLINSorry, I didnt get your name --

The man has turned away to his door. He doesnt stop. Colinwaves to the mans back as he enters his house.

Colin puts the letter and cigarettes in his pocket and walksaway from his house.

EXT. INDIAN RESTAURANT - DAY

A large tourist bus idles outside the restaurant. Colin eyesit suspiciously. He opens the restaurant door and peers in.

It is now packed. The tables are chock-full of Germanspeaking tourists. Some stand at the small bar area, severalwaiting staff buzz around the tables, serving drinks.

The Indian Waiter hands out menus at the far end of therestaurant. He sees Colin.

Colin gives a half wave. The waiter shrugs his shoulders,holds out his hands apologetically. Indicates no space.

Colin waves it away and smiles. He exits the restaurant.

An ELDERLY TRAMP shuffles past. He smiles at Colin.

ELDERLY TRAMPHavent got a spare ciggie, haveyou, son?


31/98

30.

COLINI dont know, I havent lived allmy life yet.

ELDERLY TRAMPYou what?

COLIN(smiles apologetically)

Just joking. Rita Rudner. Sorry, Idont -- Hold on.

Colin remembers. He reaches into his pocket and takes outthe "Bastards" and hands them to the surprised Tramp.

ELDERLY TRAMPBless ya, son. Youre a real gent.

Colin reaches back into his pocket and takes out the letter.

He pulls it from the envelope.

COLIN (V.O)"Dear Sir, thank you for taking thetime to register with our agency,and your recent query. As discussedat your interview, our organisationprides itself on the human touchand hands on expertise of ourhighly trained professionals. Onoccasion, this leads to periodswhere we are unable to find asuitable date for some time.

Despite this, we acknowledge thatfour months is longer than we wouldexpect to find a match. Please findenclosed your cheque for forty fivepounds. This represents yourregistration fee and initial sixmonths membership. Should you haveany..."

Colin reaches into the envelope. Its empty. He drops it tothe floor. He holds the palms of his hands to his eyes, asif he has a migraine.

He remains still for a moment. He moves his hands away. Alook of clarity. A decision made.


32/98

31.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT

Colin carries a shopping bag toward his house. He glances atthe empty bus shelter.

Two leaves lie on his lawn. He bends and picks them up.

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT

Colins microwave pings. He takes out a plastic traycontaining a poor imitation of his prepped dinners.

He spoons the food onto a plate and sits down to eat.

LATER

Colin stares at his calendar. He takes a red pen and circlesFriday. (5 days away.)

He opens a cupboard, takes out a Tupperware container anddynotapes a label "Friday."

He takes his shopping bag and removes a large bottle ofvodka. He places it in the "Friday" container.

A pause. He takes a box of tablets from the bag.

INSERT: Tablets box "PARACETAMOL"

They join the vodka. More boxes, different brands ofparacetamol are placed in the container.

He affixes the lid, and places it in the fridge. Walks pastthe calendar and turns out the light.

INT. OFFICE FLOOR - DAY

Colin sits in a cubicle. One of countless uniform cubiclesin a vast office. He fills in cells on a spreadsheet.

A young manager, WALLACE, 29, leans over his cubicle wall.Looks disdainfully at Colin.

WALLACEI need your report on the Cartainoaccount wrapped by Monday.

COLINMonday wont be a problem, Mr.Wallace.


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32.

WALLACEGood. I liked the redraft of theChironi account. You know, youcould be quite the business man...If you just got some balls.

He walks away. Colin looks at his desk. Immaculate andorderly. He straightens a single pencil next to his PC.

A hand passes over a thick file of papers from theneighbouring cubicle.

MARI (O.S)(Dutch accent)

Dont let him bug you, Colin.

Colin takes the file.

COLIN

I wont.

MARI (O.S)The Hale business plan. As always,your figures, projections, all spoton. Good job.

COLINThank you, Mari.

A tiny moment of pleasure for Colin.

MARI, 28, super cute, peers into Colins cubicle. She wears

a fashionable, boyish blue suit

MARIYou should be running this place.Keep up the good --

She looks away, distracted. A big smile appears on her face.

MARIOoh, look whos back.

Mari paces off past rows of cubicles.

Colin looks disappointed. He stares at his spreadsheets.Drums his fingers on the desk for a moment.

From across the far side of the office, a commotion.

SHOUTING MAN (O.S)Thats my fucking girlfriend! Myfucking girlfriend!


34/98


35/98

34.

Its replaced by sobs. He puts his hands to his face andcries his eyes out.

Through patio doors, the calendar, Friday circled in red.

MONTAGE - COLINS LAST DAYS

-- Circles Tuesday on the calendar.

-- Drops a box of indexed porn DVDs into a wheely bin.

-- Rides the bus to work, reads a book.

-- Opens "Wednesdays" container and removes his frozendinner.

-- Reads on the bus. Closes the last page with a satisfiedsmile. Places the book behind his seat. Its "Roti and Rye."

-- Opens freezer. Looks at "Thursdays" container. Shortpause. Closes freezer and exits kitchen.

-- Out of his house in hat, coat and scarf.

-- Walks into the Indian Restaurant. The Indian waiter holdsup his arms, surprised to see him.

-- Colin tucks into a feast of Indian cuisine.

-- Shakes the waiter by the hand as he exits.

-- The waiter clears his table. Lifts and opens the menu. Afew hundred pounds in twenties fall out. Hes shocked.

EXT. BUS STOP - DAY

Colin gets off a bus at the stop by his house. Skinny andChunky sit on his garden wall, smoking.

Colin sees them. They see Colin.

CHUNKY YOUTHWhat happened to our fags?

SKINNY YOUTHYeah, our fags.

COLIN(ambivalent)

You cant hurt me any more. Theresnothing you can do.


36/98

35.

The youths look at each other, puzzled. Shocked.

Skinny jumps up, grabs Colin by the lapels and pushes himagainst the conifer bushes. He leans in close.

Colin is no longer ambivalent.

SKINNY YOUTHI can fuckin hurt ya, ya cheekytwat. I can fuckin hurt ya.

He twists Colins shirt, strangling him. Buttons pop.

Chunky takes two paces back to the pavement. Keeps watch.

COLINWait, wait. You want cigarettes?Come and see me on Saturday.

SKINNY YOUTH

Whatcha mean, Saturday? Saturdaysno good. I asked you a week a-fuckin-go.

Colin breathes rapidly. Scared. He glances over Skinnysshoulder, momentarily distracted by a leaf on his lawn.

COLIN(unconvincing)

Um, a chap at work. Hes just um,won a lot of cigarettes, in acompetition.

SKINNY YOUTHYou what?

COLINHe doesnt smoke. So I said Idtake them off his hands. Theyreyours.

SKINNY YOUTH(believing, warming)

Yeah? Thats a bit mad. Fuckinfair play to ya, mate.

(magnanimous)Thats good of ya, mate.

He lets go of Colins shirt and straightens his tie.

SKINNY YOUTHNow, carry on. Ill see youSaturday, for me fags. Or yourefuckin dead.


37/98

36.

Colin nods his understanding. Enters his house.

INT. NEWSAGENTS - DAY

The Goth-lite assistant looks up at Colin.

COLINTwenty Bastards, please.

She reaches behind her, takes a pack and rings it up.

ASSISTANTFive forty three.

COLIN"Whatever."

Mimicking her from earlier. He takes them and walks out.

ASSISTANTHey!

The assistant is dumbfounded.

EXT. BUS STOP - DAY

Colin ensures hes alone. He sprinkles the cigarettes at hisfeet and joyfully stomps them. He twists, 60s style, grindsthem to the bus shelter floor. A satisfied smile.

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

He circles Friday on his calendar, turns to the fridge, andwithout ceremony removes the "Friday" container.

INT. LOUNGE - DAY

He sits on his sofa. In front of him is a coffee table. Thebottle of vodka, a small glass and neat rows of tablets.

He switches on his radio, classical music. He pours a glassof vodka, pops a pill into his mouth and takes a sip. Aslightly disappointed smile as he swallows another pill.

The neat row of pills shows eight missing. He takes anotherand pours another vodka. Another pill, another sip.

The telephone RINGS. Colin freezes, pill midway toward hismouth. He looks at the telephone, looks at his pills.


38/98


39/98

38.

BETHCause its cheap and Im paying?

SARAHIm sorry, hon. You still quiet?

BETHI expected it for the, first fewmonths. But, I dunno. Just realquiet.

SARAHI wont say "I told you so."

BETHWhat, because you didnt?

SARAHYes, there is that, but in

retrospect, isnt this all done onthe internet nowadays?

BETHWell, maybe. But some computergenerated results are never goingto compete with --

SARAHYour mad skills?

BETHYeah, who was it who said everybody

is good at one thing?

SARAHYou hear Yazmin and Tim are gettingmarried?

Beth nods.

BETHWhat can I say?

SARAHYou certainly do have a talent.

BETHThis is true. But not for us, eh?

A moment of silence.


40/98

39.

BETHI havent had a single customertoday.

SARAHTell me again about your marketing?

BETHWell, you know, Im just generallyputting myself out there.

SARAHOh okay... Dont go into that muchdetail.

BETH(smiles)

Sorry, Im just a bit distractedwith the whole thing. Its on my

mind twenty four seven, then I getthese moments of clarity and itslike -- What the fuck am I doing?

SARAHOkay -- Thats not clarity, thatsnegativity. Are you making money?

BETHSome. Just sort of paying the billsat the mo.

SARAH

Are you enjoying it? I mean, howlong did you want to do this?

BETHAn age.

SARAHAnd now youre there, in thatoffice, no boss, is it what youwant?

BETHI dont know. I mean, Im fine withmy own company, and I know youreon the end of my speed dial...

SARAHBut not the same as just turningaround and having someone to chatwith.


41/98

40.

BETHYeah, damn it. Never thought Idmiss all those arses.

SARAHWhen youre a success, youll be

employing your own arses.

BETHLets not get ahead of ourselves.

An ELDERLY BARMAN appears like a spectre behind the bar.

Beth smiles at him. He stares back, the faintest of smiles.

BETHQuiet for a lunchtime?

ELDERLY BARMAN

Its always quiet. Lunchtime,dinnertime, any time.

BETHIm sure things will pick up later.

ELDERLY BARMANI doubt it.

He shuffles off.

SARAHThere you go. Head hunt him for the

business. Your first employee.

BETHI dont think so, but I might givehim a card. He looks like he needssome encouragement.

SARAHHe needs something... Oh, if youdo, Ill disown you forever.

BETHCant be too choosy.

SARAHYes. Yes you can. Think of yourfemale clientle.

She reaches into a bag at her feet.


42/98

41.

SARAHIve got a present for you. Promiseyou wont and its yours.

BETHOhhh, pressies. Cool. Promise.

SARAHOkay. Going back to our earlierconversation. Its all aboutmarketing. So, me and the guys hada little buzz session, and...

Sarah holds up a sheet of paper.

Beth puts her drink down. She looks shocked.

BETHYou did that, for me?

Sarah nods.

SARAHWe also pulled a few favours withthe Express. They owe us some love.Theyre running it for the next twoweeks.

Beth puts her hands to her face.

Sarah drops the sheet of paper to the table, gets up andhugs Beth.

BETH(crying)

Thank you. Youre beautiful.

The sheet shows an advert. A big red heart with the caption:"LOVE MATTERS."

Sarah hugs her tight.

The Elderly Barman shakes his head, behind the bar.

ELDERLY BARMANWomen.

He raises his eyebrows.

FADE OUT.


43/98

42.

SUPER: "THE GREATEST THING SINCE..."

FADE IN:


Rows of cubicle based workers hunched over keyboards. Eachcubicle a carbon copy of the last. Except for one.

Pictures of a pretty twenty-something girl. Polaroids,photo-booth and studio shots. Excessive, but not obsessive.

The rear of Andys curly mop of hair. He leans forwardslightly, talks over the top of his screen to an unseencubicle beyond.

ANDY

... its like pop tarts. Where didthey come from? What did we dobefore them? All of a sudden it was1990 and we had a market fortoaster pastries? In Americatheyre eating two billion a year.You know they dropped two millionon Afghanistan at the start of thewar? Whats that about?

An employee walks by. Andy turns to see who it is, revealinghis friendly, stubbly, slightly tired face.

Turns back, his eyes come alive.

ANDYBut Im losing my train of... Whatwas I saying..? I got my one shot,my big pitch coming up... and oh,yeah. Something new on the market.Create your own niche product. RedBull style. People always wantsomething new, quirky. Doesntmatter what it is. And you knowwhat else they want?

He stands up to lean over the divider. Theres nobody there.

ANDY(to self)

They want something different.

He slumps back in his chair. Looks at the photo of his girl.


44/98

43.

Mari, in super short skirt, knocks on his cubicle wall. Maribears a slight resemblance to the girl in Andys photos.

MARI(Dutch accent)

Not long to your vacation now,

Andy.

ANDYWe call them holidays. But yeah,Will be good.

MARI(smiles)

Any exciting plans?

ANDYWell, you know...

MARII was thinking, if youre bored, wecould catch a movie or something...

ANDY(unconvincing)

Well, Im sort of, Im going away.

MARI(suddenly cold)

Oh. You never said. You kept thatquiet.

ANDYYeah, L.A. See her parents.

He nods at the pictures on his cubicle wall.

ANDYDidnt want to show off, you know?Yeah, a whole week in the SunshineState.

MARIGolden State.

ANDY(smiling)

What?

MARIIts the Golden State. Floridasthe sunshine State.


45/98

44.

ANDYIs it?

MARIYeah? Jeez, havent you beenstudying your guidebook?

ANDYYeah, but I think Ill be okaywithout my State nicknames.

MARIHow is Juliane?

She looks to the pictures on the desk. Andy looksuncomfortable.

ANDYYeah, yeah... So, a holiday, butmaybe a bit of business too.

MARI(sarcastic)

Really? What is it this time? A newconcept in pies?

ANDYNo... That wasnt a well thoughtout idea. But seriously, I set up apitch meeting with a massivecompany. My new concept in --

Wallace walks by, clip-board in hand.

WALLACEMothers meeting? You do know wevegot head honchos in this week? Weneed all hands to the grindstone.

ANDYI know. Its work related --

WALLACEWell good. We all need to crack on.Pacifically we need the Cartainoaccount boxed off.

ANDYYes, we know. Our pacific problemseems to be keeping the printerworking for more than a single day.

Mari thaws a little, amused.


46/98

45.

WALLACEYes, well, lets crack on.

Wallace exits with a spin of his clipboard.

ANDY

Why does nobody wanna listen?

A moment. Mari, concerned.

MARIHey, you know where I am, you wannatalk. Okay?

Andy, embarrassed or nervous? Tight lipped smile. Back tohis PC. Mari walks away.

LATER

Andy taps his keyboard. Fills figures into columns on aspreadsheet. He takes a quick glance around, plugs in amemory stick. Another quick glance over his shoulder.

INT. PUB - DAY

Andy sits at a corner table of a cheap pub with a notebook.a pint and a packet of crisps. Takes a sip of his pint.

INSERT: notepad

"To do list. 1 - SORT PITCH!! 2 - Pay bills?! 3 - vacationshopping. 4 - Flowers for Juliane.

He looks at his watch.

ANDYShit!

He downs his pint and walks out at a pace.


Wallace leans over Andys desk. Andy enters. Sees Wallace.

ANDYBollocks!

He approaches. Wallace studies the pictures, turns to Andy.


47/98

46.

WALLACE(checks his watch)

Extended lunch breaks?

ANDYFive minutes. Come on, when did you

ever see me leave on time?

WALLACEUm, Yesterday?

ANDYOkay, that was an exception.

WALLACEMoving forward, as best practisedictates, observe strictertime-keeping.

ANDYYup. Best practise. Will do.

Andy slides dejectedly into his chair. Mari passes by, tapson his cubicle.

MARI(sings)

"Andys in trouble, Andys introuble!"

Andy smiles at Mari, but cant hold her gaze.

ANDYYeah, like Im scared of wankyWallace.

MARISo, anyway. A bunch of us cool kidsare going to the Parrot or theGrapes for drinks after work. Youcoming?

ANDYIm not really drinking at themoment. Plus I got shit loads todo.

MARI(surprised)

Not drinking? You seeing Juliane,or up to some crazy scheming?


48/98

47.

ANDYKind of a combination of the two.

MARILike your exercise bike/electricitygenerator..?

Andy grimaces and looks to the heavens. They both smile.

MARIOkay, your loss. I got a "freeshort with a pint" voucher.

Mari presents a voucher like a game show assistant. It showsa short and a pint. Andy looks at it. Takes it from Mari.

MARISo Ill see you there?

ANDYLet me work my five I owe Wallace,and Ill catch up.

MARIYay!

She snatches the voucher back and scribbles on the back.

MARIMy new number. Ill let you knowwhich one were in.

She smiles and holds up two thumbs.

LATER

The office empties. People exit with coats and bags.

Mari walks past Andy, pokes his chair.

MARIShall I hang on for you?

ANDYNo, its okay. Be there in aminute.

Andy smiles. Sees Wallace walking toward him.

Andy turns back to his spreadsheet. Wallace puts a hand onhis shoulder as he passes.


49/98

48.

WALLACEWheel stone, Andy, the wheel stone.

Andy shakes his head. Wallace follows the other staff. Andylooks around. Alone, he plugs in his memory stick.

INSERT: Computer screen "BUSINESS PLAN/PITCH"

He places his drinks voucher on a table clock. Reads:5.12pm. He types. Words appear on screen.

LATER

He pauses. Clicks save.

He takes the voucher from the clock. Reads: 8.15pm.

ANDY

Oh.

He retrieves his memory stick.

EXT. CITY BUILDING - NIGHT

Andy checks his watch. Sees a bus coming toward him. The 41.A moment of decision. He flags the bus, and jumps on.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT

Andy walks past broken down buildings and factories.

The last lonely house on the edge of town. He turns a key inthe lock.

INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT

A single bare bulb lights the hall. Shoes and trainers laystrewn along the misplaced carpet tiles.

An overflowing recycle box of wine and beer bottles.

He kicks off his shoes, drops his bag and enters the


50/98


51/98

50.

He grabs a pip of soap and tries to manufacture a lather.His pits get a soaping, and he splashes his face with waterbefore venturing south.

Jumps out, wraps a hand towel around himself and into a

BEDROOM

in need of an industrial tidy up. He looks in a cupboard. Afew metal hangers and a football shirt.

He lifts a white shirt from a laundry basket. Sniffs it,turns his nose up.

BATHROOM

He looks at his crumpled shirt and suit on the floor. Picks

it up.


Andy enters the rows of cubicles.

He looks like he spent the night drunk in a computer chairand came to work in those clothes. Mari walks past.

MARIYou okay? Wallace is on one.

Andy grimaces. Heads for his desk. He sits down, stares atthe pictures of his girl. His clock shows: 9.23am.

A calendar lands on his desk. He turns around.

WALLACEYou know what that is?

Andy picks it up. Looks at the space shuttle picture.

ANDYThe geekiest calendar ever?

WALLACEIts a calendar.

ANDYOkay...


52/98

51.

WALLACEYou may note, your holiday doesntstart until seventeen hundred hourson Friday.

ANDY

Okay, look, Im sorry Im late. Iwas stuck here until late lastnight. I just overslept.

WALLACEYou look like it.

ANDYWhat can I say? I need this break.

WALLACEYes you do. Ill be looking for amarked improvement in your

attitude, work rate and timekeeping upon your return. Yourtardiness is out of control.

Andy looks to the heavens.

WALLACEIt seems the more hours yourehere, the less work youre doing.Have your final work on theCartaino account prepped for thisarvo. Im meeting with thedirectors and they may spin in that

direction.

Wallace struts off. Andy rests his head on his desk as heboots up his PC.

LATER

He checks his clock. 1.08pm. He stands up, looks across tothe furthest cubicles. Mari stands by her desk.

Andy looks from Mari to the pictures of his girl. A momentsthought. He takes out his wallet. A solitary five poundnote. A shake of his head. No.

He gets up and heads for the exit.


53/98


54/98

53.

ANDYOh yeah. Just a bit of shopping onthe way home. Last minute supplies.I cant wait to get out of here...

MARI

Yeah, and youve got Wallace out ofyour hair this afternoon.

She nods toward Wallace, who escorts a group of austerelooking directors into a glass windowed boardroom.

ANDYShit, yeah.

He cups his hand to his mouth and addresses the cubicles.

ANDY(slightly louder)

All hands to the wheel stone, gang!No larking around or horseplaytoday. We dont tolerate tardiness!

The other workers carry on as if nobody is there.

Andy shrugs, Mari laughs.

ANDYI wonder if anybody would object tome machine gunning him to death?

MARI

Do you no anybody more than twocubicles away?

Andy thinks of a retort. Nothing. A moment of silence.

MARII best go fiddle with the printersome more. Have a good holiday,Andy.

ANDYThank you. I will.

LATER

The office has emptied. Andy checks his clock. 5.08pm Helooks over at the boardroom.

Wallace, animated as he conducts a presentation to thedirectors.


55/98

54.

Andy looks at his screen.

INSERT: COMPUTER SCREEN -- BUSINESS PLAN. (CRUSTS)

He clicks print. "PRINT 46 pages?" He clicks "YES."

Mari walks by with a toner cartridge.

ANDYStill here?

MARIYeah. Print-mare. Ive hooked thenetwork to the boardroom printer,so dont send anything to --

ANDYYoure joking. Please, yourefucking joking.

Mari looks worried.

MARINo, Wallace needed the Ts and Cson the --

ANDYFucking hell!

Andy looks through to Wallace. Mari follows his gaze.

Wallace looks distracted, as do the directors who look to aprinter churning out sheets.

BOARDROOM

Andy opens the door and walks in. Wallace, shocked, pauseshis spiel.

ANDYApologies. Just grab these.

The printer churns pages out at the foot of the board table.

Some directors crane their necks toward the pages as theyslide onto the desk.

The printer stops. Andy squares them together.

Wallace watches him, open mouthed. Uncomfortable silence.

Andy pulls the printer tray open. Empty. He grabs a stack ofprinter paper and drops it in the tray.


56/98

55.

He stands in silence as more pages slide out.

Wallace and the directors stare at him.

ANDYPlease, carry on.

He gathers the last page from the printer and exits.

EXT. STREET - DAY

Andy stands at a bus stop, laden with shopping bags. A 41pulls to a stop. The contents of Andys bags CLINK as heboards the

BUS

The Bearded Driver smiles at him.

DRIVERNot in a rush I hope?

ANDYWhats that?

DRIVERNot in a rush? Theres been anaccident, apparently. Up on HillStreet.

Andy looks pale. Blank. He stares at the driver.

ANDYAccident...

Andy looks overly concerned.

DRIVERJust heard on my radio. Bus infront. Gonna get backed up a bit, Ireckon. A crash, they said.

Andy just stares. Licks his lips. He steps off the bus.

DRIVER(shouts after him)

Still quicker than walking!

Andys gone. The Driver shrugs and pulls away.


57/98

56.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT

Andy trudges to his front door, laden with his bags. Herests them on the floor and fishes out his keys.

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT

Andy unloads his supplies. Twenty or so bottles of red wine.He opens one, pours a taster. He looks shook up. Exhausted.

ANDYIm sorry, Juliane.

He sips.

MONTAGE - ANDYS HOLIDAY

-- Sits down at his desk with a glass of wine.

-- A computer screen: CRUSTS BUSINESS PLAN.

-- Walks around room, sticks post-its to various surfaces.

-- Wakes up at his desk, face on keyboard.

-- In dressing gown, reads: "The Perfect Pitch."

-- Scrawls words on a whiteboard. Taps on a calculator.

-- Staggers around lounge drunk, pulls charts from the wall

screws them up.

-- collapses onto the stacks of newspapers and passes out.

INT. LOUNGE - DAY

Andy wakes with a start. Looks at his whiteboard: "PITCHMEETING, DONT BE LATE!"

He looks at his watch, cant believe the time. He puts hishead in hands and collapses back on the floor.


Andys walks dejectedly past cubicles.

MARI (O.S)Hey, stranger!


58/98

57.

Andy turns, Mari walks across the office toward him. Shewears the fashionable, boyish blue suit.

ANDYHello, Mari.

MARIHow was the trip? The pitch?

ANDYOh... You know... Okay.

MARIWheres the tan?

They walk past the rows of cubicles as they talk.

ANDYOh, you know. Too hot to sunbathe.

Spent most the time inside.Shopping, with friends, in cars.You know?

MARINo beach time? Anyway, you look,um, rested.

ANDYYeah, I needed the break.

Andys desk. Cleared of all photos.

ANDYWherere my pictures?

MARIOh yeah. Wallace went nuts overyour last day print job. Instigateda "clear deck policy."

ANDY(too loud)

What the fuck? Thats his words,right? Almost as if its a real,regular used phrase?

Wallace walks over to Andy and Mari.

WALLACEAndrew, good to see you back, andon time --


59/98

58.

ANDYWherere my pictures.

WALLACEAh, yes. As a business we decidedthat online with company

regulations, a clear deck policy --

ANDY(fuming)

Where are my fucking pictures!

Mari and Wallace stare at Andy.

WALLACETheyre quite safe. I, I, I merelyput them in my office.

ANDY

Thats my fucking girlfriend! Myfucking girlfriend! Get me myfucking pictures!

Tears well in Andys eyes. Wallace is frightened. He walksaway.

MARIAndy --

ANDYNo.

He stalks after Wallace without saying a word.

EXT. CITY BUILDING - DAY

Andy exits the building. He clutches a shoe box to his side.Mari runs out after him.

MARIAndy, wait!

He pauses, turns around.

ANDYIm sorry. Ive had it with thatplace. I just need to be alone.

MARIAre you drunk?


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59.

ANDYWhat? I -- Fuck off.

MARIYeah? Im not blind you know? Whatare you doing?

ANDYNothing --

MARIYeah? Well first off do yourself afavour. Find somebody to talk to,on the alcohol. Someone to help.

ANDYLook, Ive had enough, thats all.What do you want?

MARI

You to get real. And maybe ask meout? For fucks sake Ive beenleaving enough hints.

ANDY(shocked)

But, Im already in a --

MARIDont give me more lies, Andy. Iknow about Juliane. I knew allalong. Im so sorry, Andy, but Iread all about it.

A moment. Andy looks at his shoes.

MARII know what happened.

ANDYWhy didnt you say anything?

MARIIt wasnt for me to. I saw you inthe supermarket, a few months ago.

Buying up all those newspapers. Youlooked so serious. I was worriedfor you. I went to a newsagentsdown the road, to see the papers.They were all gone. The guy told mesomeone had come in and bought themall. It was you.

Andys gaze returns to his shoes.


61/98

60.

MARII know what you were trying tohide. It makes no sense... And why?You think any of them areinterested in your life?

She jabs a thumb over her shoulder at the building.

MARIYou dont have to hide anything...Also it wasnt your fault. It saidthe other driver was drunk.

ANDYI was drunk. Okay? I was drunk andI was at the wheel.

Mari looks shocked, and puzzled.

ANDYStopped, at some lights. He cameout of nowhere. Three witnesses.They didnt even breathalyse me. Sothere it is. Both drivers drunk...Yet I walk away without a scratchor blame. How is that?

MARIYou cant blame yourself.

ANDYYes I can. Im to blame.

Andy turns and walks away. Mari shakes her head.

MARI(shouts after him)

Crusts, eh? The new big plan?Thats you. Just an outside layer-- a barrier, letting nobody in. Ijust wonder if theres anything onthe inside.

Andy barely breaks stride.

INT. LOUNGE - DAY

Andy walks straight to a bottle of wine on his desk. Heupends it in a stained glass and downs it.

He staggers over to the pile of newspapers. He sits down onthem. The headlines stare back at him.


62/98

61.

INSERT: Newspaper "American killed by drunk driver.Boyfriend survives."

Andy picks up a paper, he pulls the cover off, screws it upand throws it. He takes another, repeats, throws thecoverless paper to the floor. And another, and another.

FADE OUT.

FADE IN:

EXT. CEMETERY - DAY

SUPER: WINTER 1998

Beth and Sarah dressed in black, sit on a bench. Frostybreath, leaves around their feet.

Beths eyes are red. Shes been crying.

SARAHCiggy?

Sarah takes a pack out of her bag.

BETHYou dont smoke any more.

SARAHI know. Thought you might want one.

Beth glances at the gravestones.

BETHNot inappropriate, here?

SARAHSuppose so.

She puts them in her handbag. Beth takes them out.

BETHGo on. They wont mind.

She lights the cigarette. Coughs.

BETHOne vice dad didnt care for. Iwonder if I get it from my mum.


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62.

SARAHDid she smoke?

BETHDont know. I think Dad said sheused to. Before she met him. I bet

she started again soon after.

A moment of silence. Beth looks at her lit cigarette.

SARAHYou ever wonder why he nevermarried again?

Beth shrugs. Sarah lights her own cigarette.

BETHWhod have him? I mean, dont getme wrong, I loved him -- love him.

But he wasnt an easy person toknow.

She takes a drag. Coughs a little.

BETHHe was a loner. Liked his owncompany. Telly, pub, an occasionaldoomed romance. Thats all heneeded. I think... maybe thats allhe wanted.

SARAH

And you. You were important to him.

BETHSuppose. He just wasnt cut out forfatherhood -- any socialrelationship really. He didnt geton with his sister, no friends tospeak of. Without those basics, allromances were doomed.

SARAHThere was your mum. He had to wooher at some point.

BETHMust have caught him on a goodyear.

SARAHMoved on on a bad one?


64/98

63.

BETHYup. Didnt have the basics. If hecould forget to speak to me for amonth, how would he treat her?

They both take a drag of their cigarettes.

BETHI dont know why he just gave up.Theres a whole world out there.Why just decide to live on yoursofa?

SARAH(hint of a smile)

Dunno. Im surprised youre notmore fucked up than you are.

BETHIts cause I hang out with

fuck-ups.

She elbows Sarah. Takes a look at her watch.

BETHIm not looking forward to thewake. Dont suppose I can justbugger off.

SARAHYou are joking.

BETHYeah. Id rather see some randomaunties than those arses at work.Seriously.

SARAHStill thinking about leaving?

BETHThinking? I draft my resignationletter in my sleep.

SARAH

Still thinking about running yourown business?

Beth nods.

SARAHStill got no idea what youd do?

Beth laughs.


65/98

64.

BETHYup. Thats me. I want to run myown business, just no idea what Iwant to do.

A PRIEST, 32, walks toward them. Beth stubs her cigaretteout on the bottom of her shoe.

The Priest stops, clasps his hands together and gives atight lipped smile. Beth stands up and shakes his hand.

BETHThank you very much. Lovelyservice, Dad would have been proud.

He waves away her compliments.

BETHThis is my best friend, Sarah.

Sarah stands, shakes his hand.

SARAHPleased to meet you.

PRIESTIndeed, indeed.

He looks her up and down.

BETHSarahs in marketing.

PRIEST(to Sarah)

I guess that makes two of us.

He and Beth laugh.

SARAH(to Priest)

I think youve got the harder gigat the moment.

BETH

I dunno, what is it at the moment?Condom --(realises)

m -- m -- iniums?

SARAH(eyebrows raised)

Yes... We do do some um, propertywork.


66/98

65.

PRIEST(none the wiser)

Thats good. Very good. It waslovely to meet you, Sarah. Beth.

He shakes hands again, and goes on his way.

Sarah shakes her head in mock disgust.

SARAHIm just glad you didnt ventureonto the subject of flavours.

BETHIm so sorry. He was kinda cute,dont you think?

SARAHAlways the matchmaker, eh? You

should start a bloody datingagency.

Beth looks up at the sky. Looks to a new gravestone.

BETHDo people still go to them?

SARAHDunno. All on the net nowadaysarent they? All web-cams andwanking.

BETHCome on, Im serious. That would bea good idea.

SARAHYou? The terminal singleton,telling other people how to gettogether? Actually, what am Isaying? Thats all you ever bloodydo.

BETHThis is true. You know I hookedYazmin and Tim up?

SARAHYes, I did hear that rumour... Itell you now, thatll go nowhere.

They walk along the church path. Beth muses.


67/98

66.

BETHDating agency..? Maybe today isntthe day to be thinking straight...

SARAHMaybe. But dont be too hasty. Onegood thing could come of it.

BETHWhats that?

SARAHYou might find us a couple ofdecent fellas.

They laugh as they get into a car

FADE OUT.

SUPER: "A BIT OF DOUGH"

FADE IN:

INT. LOUNGE - DAY

Eric, a face wrinkled by years of expression. Without hispork pie hat, a head of white hair is revealed.

He spills most of a spoonful of tomato soup down his shirt.

ERICBugger... Alright, apart from aclean shirt, what more could Iwant?

He dunks a thick toasted crust into his soup.

An austere female CARE ASSISTANT, 39, in a blue nursesuniform sits on a sofa, pen and clipboard in hand.

CARE ASSISTANT(mildest hint of Germanaccent)

Its not a case of what you want,its what you need. Youre notgetting any younger, change isinevitable, Eric.

Eric picks up a white envelope from his coffee table andpockets it. Grunts as he stands up.


68/98

67.

ERICYou need to cheer up. Youve beenspending too much time round oldmoaners. Ive told you, Im notinterested in any care home.

Eric walks slowly toward his kitchen.

CARE ASSISTANTIts a senior retirement community,not a home. Somewhere to dosomething new, something different.Not just stuck in here. A chance tomeet people, make friends --

Eric stands in the kitchen doorway.

ERICSomething new? Something different?

You think just because I cantclimb stairs any more Ive got tobe in a home?

He steps further into the kitchen, slightly out of sight.

CARE ASSISTANTStairs? You didnt tell me youcouldnt use stairs.

She flips through pages on her clipboard, concerned.

Eric, unseen, shifts something metallic in the kitchen.

CARE ASSISTANTHow long is it since...?

ERIC (O.S)Oh yes. Im not getting anyyounger.

The Care Assistant scribbles notes.

CARE ASSISTANTThen how are you using thetoilet...?

The sound of water pissing into a metal bucket.

Eric leans back so his head pokes around the door, guiltysmile.


69/98

68.

CARE ASSISTANTOh.

ERICSorry. What were you saying aboutretirement community?

The steady tinkling sound continues.

CARE ASSISTANTEric, this is your kitchen, I,this... unsanitary... Ill have toput this in my report you know.

Eric muses as he leans back around the open door.

ERICPut it in your report. Bloodyclipboards. You know it was the

Nazis that invented them.

CARE ASSISTANTAnd what is that supposed to mean?

The tinkling continues.

ERICOh, nothing. Just part of thatauthoritarian uniform thing theyused to be so good at.

CARE ASSISTANT

Eric, I dont know why you have tobring the Germans into everything,we talk about --

ERICHold on.

The pissing sound gets more intense. The care assistantlooks away. The tinkling becomes gushing.

She raises her eyebrows. Turns back to Eric, concerned.

Eric steps out of the kitchen with a kettle and a bucket. Hepours the last drips into the bucket. Gives a little shiver.

ERICAhhh, thats better!

He bursts out laughing. The care assistant is not amused.


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69.

CARE ASSISTANTYou think wasting my time is funny?You think ruining my report sheetsis funny?

ERIC

Oh come on. That was funny... Cupof tea?

He holds up the kettle. Bursts out laughing again. The careassistant gets up and packs her things away.

CARE ASSISTANTIll send you the paperwork for theretirement community. Have a read.Ill be back next week.

ERICOh dont get your knickers in a

twist, it was only a joke. Youknow, ever since youve been cominghere, I havent seen you crack yourface once. How about a littlesmile?

CARE ASSISTANTIm here to care, not to smile.Change is inevitable, Eric.

ERICYeah? Is that what you tell yourprivate patients? Or do you have a

little more time for them?

She walks out, nose in the air.

ERIC(shouts after her)

If I was one of your rich privatepatients youd have five minutesfor a chat, wouldnt you?

The door bangs shut.

ERICGoodbye, Ms. Mueller!

Eric looks at a large framed British Union Jack flag.

ERIC(mimics care assistant)

"Not here to talk, Eric. Dont havetime. Inevitable change, Eric."


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70.

He makes a "Hitler salute." Lets out a deep breath. Walksover to a framed picture. A young man.

ERICWhat am I going to do, son?

He closes his eyes and puts his hand on the picture.

INT. BANK - DAY

Eric, in pork pie hat, sits in front of TIM, 25, as denotedon his team leaders badge. Tim smiles across the desk.

ERICSo youre not the assistantmanager?

TIM

Well, as I said, sir. There is, assuch, no function of an assistantmanager, as it were. But, I am ateam leader.

ERICWhat does that mean?

TIMI lead a team.

ERICWhere to?

TIMTo excellent customer service andthe leading banking service on thehigh street, we hope.

He laughs at his own intelligence. Clicks his pen.

ERICTeam leader? Anybodyd think youwere leading an Arctic expedition.Climbing Everest... Excellentcustomer service, eh...

Tim looks annoyed. Glances to a clock.

ERICWell, anyway. Ive been a customersince before you were born, in allthose years, this is the first timeIve asked to see the manager. I

(MORE)


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71.

ERIC (contd)asked about this two weeks ago, andnow you tell me, hes not here. Isthat excellent customer service?

TIMSir, as I explained. Mr. Rogers has

met with unfortunate delay on aconference call. Im sure I canprovide you with every assistance.Now, something about a change ofaddress and deposit? These aresimple --

Eric stands up.

ERICUnfortunate delay? Hmmmph. Tellyour manager, bugger it!

Eric walks out.

TIM(to self)

Yes, Im sure hell be devastated,Mr. Balance-of-thirty-four-pounds-and-eight-pence.

EXT. COMMUNITY CENTRE - DAY

Eric stares at a cold exterior.

ERICSomething bloody new? Different?

INT. FUNCTION ROOM - DAY

Ten or so members of a support group sit in a circle ofchairs in an bland function room. Eric slowly stands.

ERICHello.

SUPPORT GROUPHello.

ERICMy names Eric, and Im analcoholic. Ive been sober forthirty six years.

An attendee looks at him like hes taking the piss.


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72.

ERICI started drinking when I lost myson. I stopped drinking when I lostmy wife. Ones dead, the otherlives in Malta. Ive never been toone of these. But I just thought

Id pop along to say, there areways to beat it, and lifes betterwithout the bottle.

Eric looks to the SUPPORT COUNSELLOR.

ERICWas that okay?

The Counsellor smiles. Eric smiles back and sits down.

INT. BURGER RESTAURANT - DAY

Eric, just inside the restaurant, takes in the polishedbrightness. A smiling female ASSISTANT in a tacky outfit.

BURGER ASSISTANTWelcome to Chunky Burger, how can Ihelp you today?

ERICToday? well, let me see, what is acombo?

BURGER ASSISTANT

Sorry?

Eric points to the menu options behind her.

ERICIt says Chunky Burger Combo Deals.What are they?

BURGER ASSISTANTOh, you get your choice of ChunkyBurger burgers, fries and a drink.

ERICOh, alright, which one do yourecommend?

BURGER ASSISTANTHuh?


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73.

ERICIve not been in one of thesebefore. Whats good?

BURGER ASSISTANTOh, theyre all good.

A group of youths gather behind Eric. Chunky and Skinnyincluded.

ERICAlright. Ill try one of those MegaBacon burgers.

BURGER ASSISTANTIs that with the salsa or theketchup?

ERIC

Oh, the ketchup. Please.

BURGER ASSISTANTWould you like to mega max?

ERICWould I like to what?

The group of youths become restless.

BURGER ASSISTANTDo you want to have large fries andlarge drink?

ERICUm, yeah. Why not?

SKINNY YOUTH(whispers to friend)

Dickhead dont know what mega maxis.

The other youths laugh. Eric bristles.

The assistant hands him his meal. Eric walks past thegiggling youths.

LATER

Eric, alone at his table, eats his meal in silence.

The youths sit nearby. Loud and obnoxious. One throws a fryat another. It lands near Eric.


75/98

74.

Eric looks at the youths. Chunky bites his nails, pretendingto be afraid. The others make a rising whoooooo noise.

Eric eats his meal in silence.

EXT. BURGER RESTAURANT - DAY

The youths lean against the outside glass, smoking. Amountain bike leans against a road sign.

Eric emerges from the restaurant.

CHUNKY YOUTH(fake sneeze)

Ah, ah, ahhh DICKHEAD!

The youths crack up laughing. Eric holds their glares.

ERICWinston Churchill promised us anation of heroes... Where are they?

SKINNY YOUTHWho?

ERICWinston Churchill. Youd all betalking kraut without him.

A few blank looks from the youths.

CHUNKY YOUTHWar geezer, from history.

The others nod, impressed at Chunkys wisdom.

SKINNY YOUTHYouve got some bollocks, mate.Anyway, wars over. Dont need nofuckin heroes.

CHUNKY YOUTHYeah, granddad. Jog on!

Eric smiles at them and walks away. He looks to their bike.The youths have forgotten him already.

He moves the bike away from the sign: "HILL STREET." Pushesoff on one pedal. He looks back over his shoulder.


76/98

75.

ERICWhy jog?

Chunky looks up from lighting a cigarette. Shock.

CHUNKY YOUTH

Hes nicking your fuckin bike!

HILL STREET

Eric hits the brow of a steep hill. The youths chase,shouting. Eric laughs, picks up momentum, gains distance.

The youths give up as they see hes getting away.

ERICDick heads!

He laughs. The wind blows through his white hair.

OTHER STREET

A double decker bus, a 41, turns into a street.

HILL STREET

He hurtles down the hill at an alarming pace. A slightwobble, a look of fear, he steadies the bike and relaxes.

BUS

The driver crunches gears as he climbs a hill.

HILL STREET

Eric chuckles as he passes cars coming the opposite way.

The bus picks up speed up the hill.

Eric flies down the hill, a smile on his face.

From a side road a car pulls out. Its Erics careassistant. She sees Eric fly past.

CARE ASSISTANTScheie!

She stares after Eric, heads straight for the bus.


77/98

76.

The bus brakes, the bus and car skid. CRUNCH!

Care assistant and bus driver lock angry glares.

Hill Street is blocked. Traffic builds behind them.

Eric free-wheels down the hill, oblivious.

INT. LOUNGE - NIGHT

Eric sits on his sofa. He listens to some modern, melancholymusic. He gets up and walks to the picture of his son.

ERICYoud have known what to do, ehson? Not sure your old man can dothis on his own.

He holds the plain white envelope up before him.

EXT. CITY BUILDING - DAY

Eric, in a smart new pork pie hat, looks up at a gleamingglass building. He checks the address on the white envelope.

INT. LOBBY - DAY

He peruses a floor guide, runs his finger down the list ofoffices.

INT. CORRIDOR - DAY

Eric knocks on a door.

BETH (O.S)Come in.

Beth sits behind a desk in a smart office. A large heartwith a logo inscribed "LOVE MATTERS" forms a backdrop.

BETHHi, how can I help you?

Beths warm smile. Erics is a touch apprehensive.


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77.

INT. BETHS OFFICE - DAY

A Polaroid camera flashes. Eric relaxes his smile. Takes asip from a mug of tea.

BETHHow old are you Mr...?

ERICPlease, Ericll do fine, and Imseventy two.

BETHReally? You dont look a day oversixty.

ERICIll take that as a compliment.

BETH

As it was intended. May I ask howyou heard of us? Was it the advert?

She holds up a three quarter page advert. A big red heart,"Love Matters" and a tear off application form.

ERICNot really, I was just sort ofpassing to be honest. The importantthing is, Im here.

BETHThis is true. Okay, so you know

what we do here?

ERICYoure a dating agency.

BETHThats right. Matchmakers of sorts.Finding the right person for the,um, right person.

ERICAlright. Ill have one of those.

BETHWhats different about LoveMatters, is we dont just feed yourpersonal details into a computerand see what it spits out. Its alldone by our team of -- well, by me,really.


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78.

ERICI like that.

Beth pulls a pack of Hob Nobs from her draw.

BETH

Biscuit?

Eric smiles and takes one.

BETHI guess the first thing I need toknow is a bit about you and whatkind of person youre looking for?

ERICWell. The reason I knocked on yourdoor, is, I think Im tired ofstaring at four walls. Im entering

a very interesting time in my life.Got a lot of inevit -- a lot ofchanges coming. I think it would benice to share them with somebody.

BETHChanges?

ERICWell, I think Im going to bemoving out of my house, for astart.

BETHOkay. But youll still be lookingfor someone in this area?

ERICYes, I think so.

Beth dunks a biscuit in her tea.

BETHAnd would you say its romance orfriendship youre looking for?

ERICWell, you know, sitting here andtalking to you, I cant rememberthe last time I had a properconversation. Nobody wants to talkany more. You get on the bus,everybodys plugged in. I dontwant you to think Im a moaning old

(MORE)


80/98

79.

ERIC (contd)bugger, Im not. But you go into arestaurant nowadays and it soundslike theyre reading off the backof a card.

Beth smiles as Eric holds up an imaginary cue card.

ERICWhat happened to conversation? Toactually giving a shit -- excuse myFrench -- to, you know, caring howpeople are doing, how their morningis going? It would be nice to havesomeone who can listen and someonewho can talk... I dont mean twodifferent women, by that.

A twinkle in his eye. Beths smile is warm and genuine

ERICPeople go on about how everythingwas better in the olden days. Nottrue. Good and bad, like anything.But you know what? You could walkinto a pub in any town, not know asoul, stand in a bus queue, not aclue who youre talking to, buttheyd give you a smile and a bitof conversation. You were only astranger until theyd shook yourhand and told you their name... A

conversation. Not just talk, butusing these.

He taps an ear.

ERICOn the way up here, two fellas inthe lift. Talking about some bigbusiness deal cock-up or something.One of them said. "Its just abreakdown of communications." Theother one says. "No, no, theyrejust not listening to each other."

He holds his hands out. Beth nods.

BETHI know what you mean, Eric.


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80.

ERICThe thing is, you get to a stagewhere you start to acccept it.Think -- this is it. Im going togo all week and the only questionIm going to be asked is do I want

any help with my packing? Have Igot a loyalty card? And the truthis, first you realise the littleconversations have gone and thenyou remember the big ones have aswell. There are people thatd Idgive all the money in the world tosit down and talk with, but Icant. I cant do anything aboutthat now, its too late. but Idont have to sit around mopingabout it. Its down to me to changeit.

Beth takes a deep breath.

BETHI know what you mean. Youreexactly right. Lets do somethingabout it.

Eric smiles and nods. Got that off his chest.

Beth picks up a business card from the desk. Reads from itmechanically.

BETHDo you have a loyalty card?

She cracks up half way through, Eric too.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT

Eric walks slowly down the street. He stops outside anIndian restaurant. He stops, peers at the menu. He walks in.

INDIAN RESTAURANT

Eric enters the cosy but garishly coloured reception area.The Indian waiter smiles.

INDIAN WAITERHello, my friend. How are you?


82/98

81.

ERICVery good, thank you. I think Idlike to try my first ever curry.

The Indian Waiter is surprised.

INDIAN WAITER

First curry? Well, come. ItsSunday, its quiet. We prepare afeast, fit for a king.

He leads Eric through the practically empty restaurant.

LATER

The waiter places poppadoms, onion salad and dips on thetable. Eric picks up a poppadom and smiles.

ERIC

Thank you. Like a giant crisp.

The waiter smiles. His attention switches to a tour bus thatpulls up outside the restaurant window.

The bus door opens, forty or so tourists exit and head intothe restaurant.

INDIAN WAITEROh my.

ERICBloody hell.

The tourists chatter in German and start to fill therestaurant tables. Eric looks on. Furrowed brow.

The waiter shouts in Punjabi to the kitchen.

Other waiters appear, show people to tables, hand out menus.

Two German tourists, HANS and HELGA, 20, look for a table.The restaurant is now packed. They walk to Erics table.

HANS(German accent)

Sir, would we be able to join you.

His female companion smiles at Eric. Eric is taken aback.

ERIC(cold)

Are you... German?


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82.

HELGA(German accent)

Ya, but we can pretend to be Swissif you like?

She smiles. Erics furrowed brow... relaxes into a smile.

ERICWell it was good timing. Have apopatop.

Eric offers the poppadoms. They sit down, relieved.

HANSThank you. Our bus broke down. Wehavent eaten since the breakfast.

HELGAIm starving.

They munch on a poppadom each. Eric passes the dips.

ERICYoure tourists?

HANSYeah, heading to Cambridge, but weasked for a stop. Get some dinner.Is this a good restaurant?

ERICWell, Im not the best to say. This

is my first time. But they are veryfriendly.

HANSBest Indian restaurants in theworld are in England.

ERICReally? Surely in India?

HANSAch, no. Much better here. Onereason I love England. Best food.

Eric laughs.

ERICI thought we were meant to have theworst food in Europe.


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83.

HELGAWell, I dont know about yourEnglish food... But your ethnicrestaurant, mmmm.

ERIC

Ha, thanks to the empire.

Eric bites his lip.

ERICSorry, I didnt mean no --

HANSHa, is okay. We tried at the empirebuilding thing too. Not sosuccessful.

Eric looks at his plate, a tad uncomfortable.

HELGATell me, were you alive in the war?

ERICAlive? Yes, I was. I served.

HELGAYou dont look that old!

ERICThank you. I wish I wasnt. Ijoined at fifteen in nineteen forty

two.

HANSWow. Thats amazing. Did you go toGermany.

ERICYes I did. I parachuted into --sorry, I know you dont want tohear this.

HANSNo, no. We would. Im veryinterested in the War. Especiallyto hear from those involved,please, go on.

Eric looks shocked. Helga smiles, and pours him some water.


85/98

84.

LATER

The diners tuck in to their meals. A buzz of satisfied andanimated German chatter.

Eric talks, he pauses to mop his plate with his naan bread.

Hans and Helga listen to him with rapt attention.

LATER

Eric stands.

ERICHans, Helga, thank you very muchfor your company. I very muchenjoyed talking to you. Again,sorry if I bored you.

Hans stands and shakes Erics hand.

HANSThank you. The pleasure was allmine. Thank you for allowing us todine with you.

Helga gives him a winning smile. Eric shuffles toward theIndian waiter at the cashiers desk.

The restaurant buzzes with chat and diner enjoyment.

Hans and Helga smile and chat as they tuck into their food.

They tap their beer bottles and drink.

The Indian waiter stands frozen at the cashiers desk as Ericwalks away and out of the restaurant.

An OLD WAITER walks up to the Indian waiter. He stares athim, clicks his fingers in his face.

Table for One

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Transcript of Table for One