Tabitha Unternahrer When Rescuing is Not Enough - Vickie ... 9-17 Copy of Participant... · Vickie...
31
When Rescuing is Not Enough - Working with Families of Children with Trauma Backgrounds Adoptive Moms ● Alicia Lemon ● Vickie Parker ● Tabitha Unternahrer
Transcript of Tabitha Unternahrer When Rescuing is Not Enough - Vickie ... 9-17 Copy of Participant... · Vickie...
When Rescuing is Not Enough - Working with Families of Children with Trauma Backgrounds
Adoptive Moms
● Alicia Lemon● Vickie Parker● Tabitha Unternahrer
Agenda● Introductions● One Mother’s Blog Post● ACEs, the Basics● What is Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)● The Invisible Suitcase & the Theory of Re-enactment● What Trauma Informed Care is.● Proactive Ways to Support Children and Families● Q & A
Introductions● Early Care and Education Center staff● In Home Providers● Special Education Teachers● General Education teachers● Administrators● Parents● Home School Families● Support Services● Other● Experience with Children with Trauma Backgrounds
Russ and Vickie Biological Children: Jacob, Jessica, Gabe
Adopted Children: Joseph @ age 2Shanna @ age 4½Brittany @ age 11
AliciaMom
David Adopted age 5
DakotaBiological
CheyenneAdopted age 6
Tabitha’s Family
Dad Mom Son 11Bubbe
Daughter 10“Woosh”
Daughter 5“Piglet”
Daughter 6“Snuffaluffagus”
Daughter 8“Stink Bug”
Son 5“Toad”
One Mother’s Blog Post ...● Please read
● Share at your table
http://www.ifapa.org/pdf_docs/WeeklyWordApr192016.pdf
As published in:
ACEs =
(ACEs) are traumatic events that can dramatically upset a child’s sense of safety and well-being.
http://www.iowaaces360.org/
Adverse Childhood Experiences...
ACES ● We all have some ● 1 out of 4 children attending school have
been exposed to a traumatic event that can affect learning and/or behavior
ACES List ● Abuse; physical, sexual, psychological● Neglect; emotional or physical● Household dysfunction● Substance abuse● Divorce● Mental Illness● Violence; domestic, gang, bullying, terrorist● Criminal behaviors, incarceration● Death or loss of loved one● Chaotic home environment● Accidents and Natural Disasters
The ACE’s Pyramid
At that critical stage, if children don’t have that sense of security
in the world, it’s very difficult to remediate and
provide that back." -- Charles Bruner,
director of the Child and Family Policy Center
So what is the invisible suitcase?The invisible suitcase is...
● NOT trusting in ● NOT believing in● NOT giving relationships a chance
What a child brings with them beneath the surface, how they see themselves.
I have NO worthI am NOT safeI LACK power in my lifeI am BADI am UGLYI am BROKENI am UNwantedI am NOT good enoughI am Stupid
The Child Believes Parents ...
... will HURT me! … will NOT feed me!
… HATE me!
… do NOT want me!… are DANGEROUS!… are SELFISH!… will LEAVE!… are a LIAR!… do NOT love me!!!!!!!!!!
How do we help our students change their words in black?
I have NO worthI am NOT safeI LACK power in my lifeI am BADI am UGLYI am BROKENI am UNwantedI am NOT good enoughI am STUPID
YOU will HURT me!YOU will NOT feed me!YOU HATE me!YOU do NOT want me!YOU are DANGEROUS!YOU are SELFISH!YOU will LEAVE!YOU are a LIAR!YOU do NOT love me!!!!!!
Change comes with communication & support
● Build the parents up● Keep the family involved● Be aware of how you phrase comments● Give moments to the family
○ Small moments for many families are a chance to establish trust for us
● Allow space and time for attachment to form○ Give the hugs and cuddles to the family
Table Discussion
What Trauma Effects Might Look Like In SchoolA child who has experienced trauma may
● be superficially engaging & charming● avoid eye contact ● not contribute fairly to group work ● seem to have no sense of conscience ● show persistent nonsense questions & chatter● destroy or lose supplies, steal, sneak food, tear clothing, and eat so as to
disgust those around them ● inflict self-injuries, pick at scabs until they bleed, seek attention for
non-existent/miniscule injuries● will seek to avoid adults when they have real injuries or need help● lie about the obvious (‘crazy’ lying)
Triangulation
CHILD
PARENTTEACHER
How to work with families to avoid triangulation...● Rely heavily on parent communication● Don’t take parent or student behavior personally● Schools may think it is the parent’s skills because the child
is golden at school● Support parents need to give their children what is
“medicine” for them - structure, boundaries, limits. ● Transitions may be difficult, provide warnings and give time
to process.● Understand typical reward and punishment systems may not
work at home or at school● Don’t fall for the children’s fake charming and charming
survival mode● Keep in mind more hugs and more love cannot erase the
effect of the trauma.● Remember that children may be sensitive to sound,
overstimulation and mass meetings allow parents or assistants to remove them if needed.
● Remember it is a constant battle for control of their environment
● Have a safety plan with other teachers.
The Re-Enactment Cycle Teaches Us that...
A child’s behavior, actions, and attitudes often have much more to do with previous experiences than the present moment!!!
Re-enactmentThis is when an event happens and you go back to a traumatic moment of your life.
● A fall on the playground /He is after me I am going to get hurt!● A trash can/ This is the only place I will get food, hurry fast!● A truck drives by/ They are here they found me, they will take me away● Adults are around/ I am helpless, I must cry, if they see I can do this I
will be hurt, left, unloved, abandoned● Items placed in book bag/ If I pack it, bring it, hand it in I will not go
back. If I keep a missing piece from you, you will not leave me. (They feel that items holds their value and if they give it up they give up their value.)
Uncontrollable disruptions or distortions of attachment bonds precede the development of post-traumatic stress syndromes (PTSD).
(PUBMED.gov)
A Positive Impact - Let’s Help Heal...
What is Trauma Informed Care?Becoming “Trauma Informed” means recognizing that people often have many different types of trauma in their lives. People who have been traumatized need support and understanding from those around them. Often trauma survivors can be re-traumatized by well meaning caregivers and community providers.
http://www.traumainformedcareproject.org/
How Does Being “Trauma Informed” Help?Working with a child who has experienced trauma
requires a shift in the way you think about childhood development as well as the way you communicate with
and provide support for the child in your care. Becoming trauma informed opens up a new way of
thinking about and acting on the behaviors you experience and can assist you in supporting families
and children make genuine strides toward improvement.
Creating a Trauma Sensitive Classroom
1. Think about a time when you worked with a child who was having difficulty regulating his/her emotions. What strategies did you use to support him/her in regulating?
2. After reading the excerpt, are there other strategies you would try?
Creating Trauma Sensitive Classrooms;by Katie Statman-Weil
“Children’s brains have the ability to change and reorganize in response to new experience; therefore, having healthy and consistent interactions with early childhood educators can greatly influence their ability to engage successfully in the early childhood setting.”
One Mother’s Blog Post ...Please re-read and discuss at your table in light of the material presented …
Have your reactions/thoughts changed? Why or Why Not?
Questions and Answers...
