SVCU Tourney Newsletter 2010

8/9/2019 SVCU Tourney Newsletter 2010

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April 2010

Volume 1, Issue 3 Tourney Time!

2009 Results:

A Side - ValleyOutlaws pulledout a come frombehind victory todefeat the hosts3-2.

B Side WinnipegosisHawks defeatValley Inc. 8-2

C Side -Dauphin Kinksoutlast the BigIsland Bears.

Archie Riddell:

The Man

The Myth

The Legend

Spring has almost sprungand a long cold, winter ofconditioning (courtesy ofpost-game pops) is aboutto payoff handsomely.

35th Annual Tourney Starts Thursday

Outlaws Back to Build on Dynasty

On defence the Fab Fourof Wade Dangle Davy,Mean Gene Vestby,Dale Smokin Joe AshesAnderson, and DaleAugie Argue return foranother run at the Cup.This ageless quartet isequally adept in both ends

of the rink and can flip theswitch (or blow a fuse) asneeded. Up front KevinBenny Betcher and RickI shoulda had two yellowtoques at the1981 MunnCup Betcherlead apotent attack.The Jasons (Chernykand Eisner) of Halloweenfame have howitzers that

The 35th Annual SwanValley Credit Union(SVCU) Oldtimers SpringTourney is set for Easterweekend 2010 in SwanRiver.

This years tourneypreview starts with thetwo-time defendingChampion Valley Outlaws.These perennial favouritesrevive memories of theOilers of the 1980s.Between the pipes theystart with all-star AndyHodgson. This 65 119lbspecimen plays a unique

style reminiscent ofDominik Hasek, with theadded flexibility of aRomanian gymnast.Butch doesnt see a lotof rubber, butwhen hedoes there are few better.Joining him toprotect thetwine is club CEO GerryGattinger. Reportscirculating that Gatt mayhave been spiking Butchsrogaine prescription, tosteal back icetime, areunsubstantiated accordingto WADA President DickPound.

make opposing goaliescringe, not to mentiontheir linemates thatappreciate the neck highrockets from the slot.The vet line of ArchieDipsy Doodle Riddell,Dale Jordan StaalJersak, and Jukin Jerry

Mosiondz provide a strongtwo-way presence with theenergy of two-year oldrabbits. Rookie importPatrick He got lifeinsurance Harness waswooed from last yearsValley Inc. squad withpromises of everlastingglory.

Ramblin Al Hambley andDave Captain Kirk willonce again be called up tobury the biscuit on aregular basis. Outlawsmanagement hasexpressed an interest inensuring Kirk makes itback behind the red line

this year so anintroduction with Butchcan be arranged.Their famous tournamentheadquarters TheOutlodge is unavailablethis time around as theclubs cheerleading squadis hosting their annualspring tryouts.


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35th Annual Page 2 of 6

Only the true greats

can stylishly wear the

Jofa bucket and CCM

Square top

SVCU Alum

Les Atkinson

Captain Cam Caverly isexpected to once againknock the rust off theblades and assemble his

usual cast of characters.James MayDay Madill,fresh off a winter ofpracticing on the Lavenderoutdoor arena, stillreminds you of Brett Hullwhen positioned in thehigh slot. Greg andHarold Hunt (or is itSedin?) are still as smoothas freshly applied latexpaint, andwill be joined bytheir cornerman Bryon

Bowsman Burnouts make trip south down Hwy#10

Valley Inc. make their 3r

consecutive trip to thetourney. Between thepipes, Derek ButterflyBoychuk, is expected tomimic a soggy 4x6 pieceof OSB (hell touch mostshots, but he suffers frommore leaks than a DodgeAspen). The backend isexpected to have a grittygroup including DarrenMuggsy Mullin, SteveStickemWindsor, MarkMinute Muncher Munro,and Bryce FreighterMullin. Mullin makes thetrek from Calgary wherehis protg Dion Phaneuf

Valley Inc. look for redemption after finals loss

Gladstone Old Duckersreturn for what somebelieve is the 35

thstraight

time. GM Laurie MajorMcCaskill has once againformed his band of merryskaters to make the tripnorth. This crew seems tohave played in everyNorth American Arenaexcept the County War

Gladstone Old Duckers Back n Blue

Chair of theBoardsFried to lead the offence.The Minitonas Loggerconnection of Don Alpine

Eagle Gade and MichaelSniper Stupak arepenciled in, as is SPLrecruit Peter OffsideBresky. Mark RazorRussell will once again logheavy minutes on theBurnouts blueline.He will be joined by acouple Orange imports.Hilbert Hackem Nerbasand Lynn LowBridgeRusk who are expected to

bring the intensity theKenville Flyers werewellknown for in the early1980s. However, without

the square corners andsmall ice surface theygrew accustomed to at theKenville Ice Palace, theireffectiveness may bequestioned. Between thepipes is a mystery but theBowsman Hotel regularshear whispers of apossible return of formerstandout Darren FuddFedorchuk..

was recently run out oftown. Up front they havesome offensive punch (not

just their smell). TylerMullin (who cant help butremind fans of ScottNiedermayers effortlessgait) will undoubtedly beworth the price ofadmission all by himself.Jeff Winder up Wiestand Wayne GunnerGelsinger will lead theoffensive charge.Dangerous David Mullinwill need to cover up for acouple desperation pickuplinemates. Showing hisface in the Centennial

Arena for the first time in10 years is Jayson wish Icould make the RoblinMoonshiners Hodgson,who is still living off an 8goal performance in WeeWee against the BarrowsGolden Arrows.RossReijo RuotsalainenAtkinson will complete theline. Will the bluecooperalls make anappearance in 2010?Have they successfullyrecruited the Australiannational teams leadingscorer Clint Dont call meMike Weir?

Memorial in Johnstown,PA from Slapshot fame.

McCaskill wasnt availableto divulge his lineup priorto press time but wantedthelocals to know thatformer Stampeder great,Shaun McIvor is only 3years away from beingtourney eligible. During

McIvors minor hockeydays he sat in the standshoping to one day havetheopportunity to put onthe red, white, and blueOld Duckers jersey. Thatmagical 86 pointStampeder season hasopposing dmen like LynnRusk cringing at thethought of his return.


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The Birtle Old PuckersCEO Dean ZamboniZimmer reports the club is

in mid-season form.SVCUs southern scoutingstaff warns that Zimmersincomparable work ethicand scoring ability closelymirrors that of Habsgunner Mike Cammalleri,(not to mention the 7minute shifts). It isexpected that linemate BillBoom Boom Bowley willonce again saunter intotown to dent a little twine.Deone MiniMe Oertel iscommitted to avenge his2009 weekendperformance. He claimsthat sleeping on thebathroom floor with hischinconveniently hookedon the toilet bowl led to a

Birtle Old Puckers make the trek up Hwy #83

Swan River Raiders GMLyle Eggie has expressed

extreme disappointmentthe past two springs as hehas had to endure theannual meltdown causedby non-performanceenhancing beverages.Rhonda Lukey (wife ofstar left-winger Derrick)has banned the club fromtheir garage for theirannual liver marination onFriday night in an effort toimprove on-ice

performance. Veteranright-winger HandyRandy Betcher is sodisappointed that is heisnt expected to returnfrom Palm Springs towitness the annualdebacle. Team pharmacistJeff Generic Leadbeatermay need to fill a dozenhangover scripts!

Raiders ready for a run at everlasting glory!

Randy Betcher

celebrates hatty with

Raiders version of

Mighty Duck goal

celebration!!

kink in his neck that costhim a hat trick andgame star.

Sniping wingers BionicBill Flynn (aka TheCrow) and Ryan I cansee Lee will be countedon for their usualoffensive flair.Marvelous MarvinHarris will once againanchor a solid core ofdmen. His legendary130 foot breakoutpasses leave theWizards behind theGlass in the VIP Loungereminded of the daysBarry Watson led theSVCU breakout.In net Patrick BeachBall Bouchard will becalled upon to both stop

a few pucks and findthe right hotel roomthis year. DNA

testing hasnt beenable to confirm thatPatrick is actuallylegendary AtlantaFlames tender DanBouchard incognito.However, the gaping5 hole in recent yearspretty much endedthat speculation. Ifyou listen closely onFriday morning youshould be able to hearthe Birtle Van rollinginto town. Not builtfor speed, this one ofa kind unit closelyresembles the famousride of Jed Clampett.

The club stealthily stoleWarren Clark in the off-

season. Clark donned thepads in the junior ranksprior to attempting to showSVCU that he could goboth ways as a forward.Hehas returned to thecrease and displays aglove hand that hasbroken the hearts of valleyforwards all winter.

On the back end this clubwill feature Lyle LumberEggie, Rifle Rob Nesbitt,Kris the CarverWoodward, and ex-SVCUdman Derek BenedictArnold Henkelman.

Up front ShishkebobSean Eggie will be lookedupon to lead the team(and tourney) in bothgoals and birthannouncements.

Lance Pebble Beach,fresh from vacation, will

challenge opposing dmenin the crease with visionthat nearly made himeligible for theparalympicgames. Derrick Let theForce Be With You Lukeywill joinBeach to form themost tenaciousforechecking tandemsince Duke andSurgeon donned theSVCU blades of steel.

Bill No Panic Parker,Don Smooth asSilk Formo and a coupleringers coming to townwill round out thisimposing squad.

Scouting report is keep itclose early, and let thebooze erode theexceptional skillset of thisclub down the stretch.


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Birtle forward foiledby Ernie Pierrepont.

The Big Island Bears

reputation as a hard-nosed club has apparentlyscared off the cross-townrival Flin Flon Bombers forthis years event. TheBears live and die by theirhigh-powered offence.They are led by hulkingcentre John Bats Belfryand his Phil Esposito-likepresence (and matchingLange skates) in front of

Big Island Bears return with re-tooled roster

SR Friendship Centre isan expansion squad inthis years tourney. ClubGM Peter the PistolGenaille will lead thesquad on the ice. Peterssoft hands and fierypersonality makes him adangerous forward everytrip to the offensive zone.

Ernie The GlovePierrepont will carry this

The Hawks will be led bythe all Clarkson line of Ed,Dwayne, and Arnie. Arnieis the most experiencedmember of the Hawks ashe just received thehockey gloves he lent toGordie Howe back in PeeWee. The defence (andpenalty box) will beanchored by Shaun SinBin Pangman and Mikethe Snow Lake SlasherSass. This pair duelsannually for the tourneyPIM lead. If you want togo wide on either of thesebruising dmen, you will

SR Friendship Centre make tourney debut

Hawks return with an eye on the prize!

Big Island Bears

modeling some of the

sharpest uniforms in the

tourney.

2009 B Side Champs

Winnipegosis Hawks

opposing nets. However,

a couple years ago a fallin the Corrals MickeyCorner sliced a facialgash that Dr. Beshayneeded 15 stitches toclose. Just one morebattle scar to ensure thiswily vet is ready comegametime.

Coach and GM DeanGrover Grove has beentight-lipped about this

editions roster.

Speculation abounds thatthis years club might bepicking up a few Bomberholdouts to supplementthe backend. Anchoringthis club will likely be Elvisimpersonator TerryShebbie Pshebnicke ifhe can cancel a gigscheduled for BakersNarrows Lodge on EasterWeekend.

group on his back if needbe. Ernie has made acareer of dazzling savesthat leave forwards andfans alike shaking theirhead in amazement.

It is rumoured that CraftyClinton Church has beenlured from the BowsmanBurnouts lineup. Jumbo

Joe Ferland is also

expected to make histourney debut in 2010.This Larry Robinson clonehas a deadly reach in theslot and can bury pucks atwill. Fast Frank Genaille(a Maple Leafs fanatic),with a wrist shot that is adead ringer for PhilKessels, will be looked

upon for a daily hat trick.

want to invest in somewrist guards, and donteven think of hanging yourhat in the slot. Derekmissed the bus Monychis currently hitchhikingfrom Pickle Lake, ON andis expected to arrive forthe puck drop Friday.Coach/GM Terry SlickSliworsky and hisGaborik-like snapshot willno doubt find some twine.His teammates suggestthat this is his last chanceat stardom after flamedout careers with both theDauphin Brewers and

Camperville Clubs. Terryclaims hed be in the Hallof Fame if he could havehit Pangman or Clarksonsgrapefruits instead ofshagging rockets atshortstop off opposingteams bats. At press timethe Hawks have not yetlanded a goalie, but sixattackers doesnt scarethis crew. A beverageban has beenimplemented between7AM-8AM, which shouldhelp the Hawks chancesimmensely!


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Just like that Patty, a thin coatingover the metal tip and you can filletthose dmens calves before they knwhat hit them -Dennythe Surgeo

After three strong finishesin their own tourney,SVCU appears to behurting in the personnel

department this Spring.Brian Scoop Gilroy isunavailable as he claimsto be teaching extendedseason players his famedspinarama at a tourney inFoxwarren. Its far morelikely that a trip to the KentHotel with Pat Falloon is inthe works. Pat Mordenhas committed to a trip tothe Okanagan for a familywedding while keeping

tabs on his sons WHLplayoff run. Morden hasbeen a tried and truepower forward thatconsistently leads the clubin points, PIMs, andtourney ejections.Rick Whiskey Liske iscommitted to coaching hissons minor hockey teamand closely following his

Unavailable and injured list burdensome for SVCU

The clubs primary tenderMike Smitty Smith hasonce again bailed out thisband of misfits time andagain. The intensity hebrings to the rink isunmatched cometournament time. Smitty isone of the rare goalies thatcan both rack up aSVPCTG above .950 and

an annual goal stickbudget in excess of $950.On the backend 25-yearvet Brian Barnes Minishhas displayed his offensiveprowess on forward muchof the year. Dont besurprised to see Barnesslip back to the point whenslick puck-handling andthe calmness of a corpseare needed. Chris LankyZamzow has once again

Goaltending set, defence once again a concern

Like I told you Chow, 30 years late

this jersey still fits like a g

- Gerry Liske

Well Randy, Im not sure that red

breakout play you and Knispel used

the Eagles is going to work with SV

defence, unless Barnes is on the

Terry Chaykoski

beloved Toronto MapleLeafs prepare for yetanother pre-playoff exit.Dennis Surgeon Bowles

is presently recoveringfrom a serious thigh injurythat is putting his SVCUcareer in jeopardy.Goaltender andtransportation coordinatorRick Reich compiled a 3-0record on the season witha scintillating 0.33 GAA,and is presentlynegotiating a contractextension. To address thedwindling roster SVCU

added 4 new recruits in2010. Derek Dickie DunnHoltom was acquired in ablockbuster 4 for 1 tradewith Action (4 pucks forone player). Holtomsbackchecking has been ablessing, and despiterecent stitches from askate blade to the face weexpect it to continue come

tourney time. RyanCowboy Keown wascalled up from the clubsCorporate Challenge farm

team. Keowns motto offorecheck, backcheck,paycheque has been wellreceived this season. Hisfaceoff win percentage of3.7% will likely lead to off-season faceoff hockeyschool with Garry DukeKennedy. Kevin SpecialK Kopecky was a highlyanticipated recruit after astandout hockey careerwith the Hudson Bay

Saints. If he can lay offthe Italian meatballs, theclub should expect a bigtourney performance.Former Stamp NeilChooker Kichuk arrivesafter a distinguishedcareer split between theStampeders and theRoblin Northstars.

demonstrated thecommitment of a guy onhis fifth marriage. Unableto rely on his presence ona regular basis, the clubhas concerns how hisconditioning will beimpacted during fourgames in 72 hours.Blaine Soup Campbellwill once again anchor the

defence. Despiteincreased focus on hischampionship bonspielform this winter, theforwards have no doubt hewill still be able to continueto provide that inspirationalconstructive criticism ondefensive zone coverage.Warren Wheels Graycontinues to serve the clubwell in the rover position.

Gray likes to keep the clubguessing by leading therush when on defence,and floating at the bluelinewhen expected toforecheck. His speed andsniping ability has himconsistently at the top ofthe scoresheet. CraigZammer Zamzowcontinues to display an

innate ability to pinch atthe wrong times. Hislumbering stride should bemore than enough of aclue to stay out of trouble.Smitty has pushed hard tobring back Joe Willis toteach Zammer toselectively identifypinching opportunities, tocut down on the three onones against.


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35th AnnualPage 6 of 6

Last, but certainly notleast is Barry ShooterEggie. This team-firstleader has filled positionsranging from leading goal

scorer, head bartender,50/50 salesman, and clubtreasurer in his 20 years

Up front, the clubs masterreporter/blogmeister RobEnergizer McDonaldcontinues to provide thebest Oldimers coveragethis side of the Ramsay

Downholers. Rob plays atenacious style in bothends of the rink and stillhas the hands of gold thatmade him a first rounddraft pick of the Minitonas

The shooter is in the building

The SVCU Oldtimershope you have enjoyedthis piece of non-fiction.If we insulted anyone,please accept ourapologies in advance.On a more serious note

we would like to thankeach and every one of theplayers and sponsors for

SVCU Oldtimers welcome you to the 35th Annual Spring Tourney!!

Soup, dont be afraid to ripthose forwards a new one ifthey arent watching the pointmen in our end - Barnes

Smitty, when the pressure ison, a whistle in our end isnever a bad play -Shooter

Were on the Web!

See us at:

cuold.blogspot.com

Randy MeatheadMateika was named mostimproved at the clubsrecent awards banquet.His amazing dangle andability to slip behind (waybehind) the opposingdmen borders onsupernatural. Jeremy OT

Kid Gray, still receivesadulation from Alumniafter his OT winner in the2007 finals win over theFF Bombers. This gavethe club only its 2

ndtitle in

34 years. Graysdeceptive speed andheavy shot make him aperennial all-star.

Hornets in 1992. Now ifthat &*%$#@ ref would

just stop calling himoffside! Jeff SkinnyKnight will undoubtedlycontinue to amaze with his

deft puckhandling. Eversince Moises Alou taughthim his hand washing inurine trick, FrenchiesValley Water billings haveshrunk.

with the club. Goaliesfrom near and far knowthat when Barry tears indown the left side thelegendary neck-high

snapper is surely to follow!

their continued support tomake this long-standingtourney the success it is.

A big thank you to ouractive alumni for all theirhelp working the VIP

Lounge in past years aswell as at the Rodeo.

Reminder of our TV drawat Saturdays banquet.See an SVCU player tobuy a square before it issold out.

Finally, to the spouses

that enable mature mento have a weekendbreakaway. Thank you,and dont wait up!

SVCU Tourney Newsletter 2010

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