by Gianna Cassetta

Supporting Students’ Agency Through Positive Relationships

The following pages provide resources and guidance for 1) evaluating student

relationships at school, and

2) identifying teacher behaviors to improve student relationships.

This year, from Kindergarten through 12th grade, every student attending school is facing a heightened level of uncertainty in their lives. When students tell us or show us

that they feel intense emotions—whether sadness, frustration, grief, or loneliness—we know these emotions are predictable reactions to feeling out of control. Students can’t choose to spend time in person with friends, attend an after-school activity, or experience daily affirmations—an acknowledgement, an opening to offer a genuine opinion, a personal wink, nod, or look of affection—from a positive relationship with a teacher.

We have witnessed (and are still witnessing) how the pandemic is affecting some students more than others: those who live in poverty, who experience racial inequity, who experience hunger or family stress due to job loss or illness, who could not participate in virtual learning because of constraints of access, support, or other responsibilities.

Returning a sense of agency to our students through positive relationships is critical.

For more strategies that build and improve even the most challenging student relationships, read The Caring Teacher by Gianna Cassetta and Margaret Wilson.

teacherStrategies for

Working Through Our Own Difficulties

with Students

Gianna Cassetta AND Margaret Wilson

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{Reclaiming a Strong Sense of Self}

This fall and throughout the school year, we don’t know how often we will be seeing our students in person. We do know that many of our students will feel more uncertain about themselves and will

carry the weight of uncertainty caused by recent experiences.

How can we help them develop or reclaim a strong sense of self in these chaotic times? One key is in supporting students’ sense of agency.

There is so much anxiety about students’ skill deficits but the essential element we need to be focusing on, one that any skill building relies upon (whether academic or socioemotional) is a self-perceived sense of agency. In order to accomplish anything, people need to believe that they’re the kind of person who can accomplish things. Our role this fall and throughout this school year (and always) is to help children develop a strong sense of what they can do on their own. We do this by calling attention to their positive decision-making and emphasizing their freedom to make choices. The foundation of this work is a positive teacher-student relationship.

Whether formally or informally, educators can assess this by asking students to describe their relationship with school and you. See Tool 1: Evaluate Student Relationships on the following page. This tool can be used in:

1) a whole class setting at various touch points in the school year to create and revisit classroom norms, expectations, or agreements

2) one-on-one with students to explore their needs or challenges in the context of the school experience

3) throughout the school year to assist in student-teacher relationship goal setting—and to reflect on growth over time.

Evaluate Student RelationshipsA survey for students to self-assess their relationship with school and you

tool 1:

Belonging

c At school I feel like I am part of a group.

c I can talk with others in school about things that really matter to me.

c Some of my closest relationships are with people at school.

c I am close to students and adults at school.

c People care about me at school.

Competence

c I am good at many of the things I do at school.

c I can manage most of my tasks at school.

c I feel like I can complete difficult jobs at school.

c There are things I can help others with at school.

c Adults and students know the things I am good at.

Autonomy

c I can act like myself at school.

c The work at school is the work I want to be doing.

c At school I can choose to do my work in the way I think I can do it best.

c I can make plans about what work I want to do, how long it will take, whom I do it with, and how to do it.

c Adults and students trust me to get things done.

{Close Relationships with Teachers are Critical}

Belonging, competence, and autonomy are the three fundamental psychological needs all humans share. Without feelings of relatedness, competence, or autonomy, we don’t—we can’t—live fulfilling lives. And

yet so many students who pass through the doors of schools never have these needs met.

• In the largest student survey prior to 2009, researchers found that only 48 percent of grades 6–12 students felt teachers cared about them as individuals (Quaglia Institute for Student Aspirations, 2008).

• Only 45% felt teachers cared if they were absent from school. Meeting these needs for students must become central to our work, and we must model for students what it looks like to be someone who values meeting those needs.

A close relationship with a teacher provides a student with a feeling of relatedness. In turn, this secure relationship allows the student to safely explore and engage in challenging learning tasks, which thereby improve competency and autonomy (Birch & Ladd, 1997; Pianta, 1999).

In challenging circumstances, we might lose our footing for a bit, but we can recenter ourselves with the foundational question: How does what is happening in each day’s learning experience support a student’s sense of belonging, social and academic competence, and autonomy? Each student is different and has unique needs.

In Tool 2: Teacher Behaviors (on the following page), I’ve listed some qualities or behaviors that a teacher who values meeting the fundamental needs of students might have. It’s unlikely any of us enacts these behaviors all the time; that’s why a tool like this can help us remind ourselves of necessary constructive actions we can take to make things better every day.

As you try some of the strategies in the chart, capture reflections on what you learn about students from their responses. Listen attentively and pay attention to the content and emotional valence of student responses. The better you understand what students are thinking and feeling, the more capable you will be of demonstrating behaviors that make them feel competent, connected, and autonomous.

tool 2:

Teacher BehaviorsHow to Support Student Belonging, Competence, & Autonomy

NeedWays to Meet the Needs of Student

What This Might Sound Like

Belonging

Competence

Autonomy

• Make consistent efforts to connect with all students.

• View differences as assets rather than deficits.

• Know students personally and academically.

• Put yourself in the shoes of others in order to understand their experience.

• Listen closely to what students do or say and name it positively.

• Reinforce significant strengths in even small accomplishments.

• Help students develop systems for staying organized.

• Recognize what students know and can do and help them build a scaffold to new learning.

• Give students opportunities to choose work, materials, assignments, or peers to work with.

• Ask students to self-reflect and assess experiences.

• Allow space for behavioral mistakes and revision.

• Create ongoing opportunities to critique social and social justice issues.

• “I’m going to meet with Patrick, Princess and Kim to plan so they can lead morning meeting greetings this week.”

• “For tomorrow’s share, think about something you love to do with someone you care about.”

• “For the next two weeks I’ve created this rotating schedule so I can have lunch meetings with 3 of you at a time. You can decide what the lunch talk will be about.”

• “I know this has been a difficult and scary time, and I want you to know I see you and care about you. I want to make space now for us to talk about where we are today and what’s on our minds.”

• “So what you are saying is . . . It sounds like you are . . .”

• “I see that you got all of your assignments uploaded on time this week. That’s great! I’d love to hear what you changed to make that happen.”

• “Remember, this is a suggested schedule of how to get all of your work done. How about we look at it together to make sure it’s the schedule that will work best for you and your family.”

• “I see that you have started to add into your draft ‘he grumbled,’ and ‘he whispered.’ You are telling the reader, but not showing it yet. How about we work on adding in that dialogue in one or two places? I’ll show you how.”

• “I see you are almost done with your book. What are you thinking of reading next? Will that be on your own or with a partner, or in one of our book clubs?”

• “What strategies did you use to complete that? What was most or least helpful?”

• “You have your presentation criteria and all your research done. I’m trusting you two to be ready to present on Thursday.”

• “Do you agree with the character’s decision to . . . ? How would you have handled it? Where do you see things like this happening in real life? How do you feel about it?”