Stressbusters Dealing with Difficult People. If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is...
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Transcript of Stressbusters Dealing with Difficult People. If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is...
![Page 1: Stressbusters Dealing with Difficult People. If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate.](https://reader035.fdocuments.in/reader035/viewer/2022062515/56649cab5503460f9496be00/html5/thumbnails/1.jpg)
Stressbusters
Dealing with Difficult People
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If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have
the power to revoke at any moment.
~ Marcus Aurelius
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Dealing with Difficult People
Impact of difficult behavior Types of difficult behavior Getting results Keeping your balance
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Impact on our Work
Miscommunication Focus on “winning” rather than the issue Rewarding bad behavior Time wasted by distractions Residual resentment colors future dealings
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Impact on our Mood
Fight or flight Defensiveness Question judgment, capability Feel belittled, mistreated Ongoing resentment
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Getting Results with Any Type
Remain calm Focus on problem solving Act with confidence Listen Collaborate Understand their motivation
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Lessons Learned from Motherhood
Pick your battles Tantrums are no fun for anyone It’s the behavior that’s bad, not the person Always provide an escape hatch Don’t run with scissors
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The Dictator
Intimidating, aggressive Demanding and critical Arbitrary Arrogant Values a high level of self-confidence and
assertiveness
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Coping with a Dictator
Stand up to him without fighting State your opinion Remain calm and focused
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The Complainer
Finds fault with everything Negative and nit-picking Accusatory Self-fulfilling cycle of passivity, blame, and
powerlessness Some of the complaints may be legitimate
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Coping with a Complainer
Focus on problem solving Listen attentively Identify specifics Don’t simply dismiss Don’t accept blame or make excuses Ask for solutions
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The Passive
Avoids conflict and risk Non-committal Unresponsive
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Coping with a Passive
Ask open-ended questions Don’t rush to fill silences Remain friendly and approachable Offer observations
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The Yes-Person
Sociable, outgoing Attentive Agreeable Quick to commit Rarely delivers
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Coping with a Yes-Person
Make honesty non-threatening Leave wiggle-room Recap agreement Get it in writing
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The Pessimist
Negative Lacking in trust Feels powerless Resistant to change Harmful to morale
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Coping with a Pessimist
Be confident and optimistic Don’t argue Allow role of devil’s advocate Ask for specifics rather than
generalizations
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The Know-it-all
Expert on everything Tone of absolute certainty Can be condescending and pompous Values facts and logic Seeks respect Frequently right
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Coping with a Know-it-all
Consider alternatives Avoid direct challenges to expertise Present accurate and complete information Separate the issues Listen Question with confidence Don’t compete
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Keeping your Balance
Humour Perspective Awareness Calm
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Keeping your Balance
Humour Perspective
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If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a
problem. Everything else is inconvenience.
~ Robert Fulghum
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Perspective
What’s the big deal? Is the reaction proportional to the issue?
What’s the problem? Immediate issue Long-term issue
Who is this about? What’s my responsibility? What isn’t my responsibility?
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Keeping your Balance
Humour Perspective Awareness
Know your triggers Recognize your defensive mechanisms Don’t personalize
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a
damn fool about it.
~ W. C. Fields
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Keeping your Balance
Humour Perspective Self-Awareness Calm
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Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.
~ Josh Billings
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Getting through a Confrontation
If person is frustrated but not (yet) angry…Do:
Listen and paraphrase Acknowledge feelings Identify specific actions to reach solution
Don’t: Patronize Overwhelm Accept responsibility except where
appropriate
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Getting through a Confrontation
If person is angry or hostile…
Do: Acknowledge feelings Keep the discussion on topic Stay focused on resolution
Don’t: Rise to the bait Make excuses or long explanations
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Getting through a Confrontation
If the person is abusive and unreasonable…
Do: State the rules State the limits Be clear and concise Call for backup and/or remove yourself
Don’t: Run with scissors
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Dealing with Difficult People
Any questions or comments?