Stop assuming, start asking questions: from conflict to collaboration
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Transcript of Stop assuming, start asking questions: from conflict to collaboration
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STOP ASSUMING, START ASKING QUESTIONS:HOW TO TURN CONFLICT INTO
COLLABORATION
@penny_walker_sd
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Get interested in the grey areas.
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Both sides needed to win.
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Positions
Interests
Needs
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Common ground
Position
Interest
Need
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I swapped my placards for post-it notes.
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Listen
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Listening is not the same as waiting to speak.
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Reflect
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Clarify
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Really useful questions:
What do you want to see?
Can you tell me more about that?
What would that give you?
What do you want to achieve, that this could help you with?
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Not really questions:
Have you thought about doing this instead?
What kind of dumb idea is that?
You haven’t really thought this through, have you?
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It’s not helpful to rescue people.
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Position
Interest
Need
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We move from conflict to collaboration when we listen louder to the things we don’t
understand; when we move away from being right, towards the
uncomfortable truths.
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penny-walker.co.uk/blog
@penny_walker_sd
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Picture creditsThames Barrier – author’s own library, copyright unknown. If this is your picture please get in touch. Bottle – author’s own library, copyright unknown. If this is your picture please get in touch. Recycled paper – http://www.flickr.com/photos/bobydimitrov/3425851037/sizes/l/ Water pollution – http://www.flickr.com/photos/paolotonon/334402074/sizes/l/ Recycling truck – http://www.flickr.com/photos/naturewise/5528657845/sizes/l/ Diesel pump – http://www.flickr.com/photos/12495774@N02/8332832613/sizes/l/Castle – http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3ACastillo_de_los_Mendoza_-_Manzanares_el_Real_-_Madrid_-_Espa%C3%B1a.jpgWorkshop leaves / branches – Dialogue by Design / Sustainable Development Commission.Workshop people – Helen Fisher / SciencewisePlacards – http://www.flickr.com/photos/jamesm/23059398/sizes/o/ Post-its on better meetings – Author’s own / Sustainable Development CommissionHeadphones – http://www.flickr.com/photos/abrinsky/3754792367/sizes/l/Glasses - http://www.flickr.com/photos/halcyon/98048815/sizes/o/Question mark – http://www.flickr.com/photos/bilal-kamoon/6835060992/sizes/l/ Medmerry – The Environment Agency http://www.flickr.com/photos/environment-agency/10687636194/sizes/l/ Insulation – http://www.flickr.com/photos/cseeman/2614836996/sizes/l/Light bulbs – http://www.flickr.com/photos/mncerts/6882037149/sizes/l/ Polar vortex – http://www.flickr.com/photos/hawkinsdigital/11920649743/sizes/l/Flood http://www.flickr.com/photos/usgeologicalsurvey/2594326010/sizes/o/ Aral Sea http://www.flickr.com/photos/teosaurio/9121875591/sizes/l/ Scream – http://www.flickr.com/photos/salforduniversity/4055512146/sizes/o/Walk – David Caines / Penny WalkerBook jacket – DoSustainability / Sedition Publishing