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Speak Volumes Without Saying a Word ... Through Listening
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L eaders must infuence others: colleagues, clients, amily members, even strangers. Your communication skills are vital in infuencing others, and it’s natural to think you must have an eloquent and inspiring way to tell others what needs to get done. But there is a potentially fawed as- sumption in that logic. Beore you can communicate anything, you must ensure the recipient is ready and open to receiv- ing your communication. Better yet, i they are truly enthusiastic about listen- ing to you, then you r message will have a much higher probability o being received. So how do we make sure oth- ers are listening? I you want others to listen more, become the deep listener you hope to see. To become a better listener, you will have to do some basic things, like making an intentional decision to strengthen your listening skills. You will need to bring more energy and ocus to your listening opportunities. You have probably heard “listening is impor- tant.” That may seem like common sense, but how oten do we describe what we should be doing as common sense? It happens a lot, and that is because common sense does not always translate into “common practice.” Most people make two “common” as- sumptions when it comes to listening: They believe they are better listeners 1. than those around them. They believe listening is an easy skill 2. that can be “turned on” whenever needed. But many o us don’t listen well, and unlike reading, writing and arithmetic, we probably were not taught how to listen in school — and most have not had ormal training on the skill upon graduation. How many classes did you take on listening dur- ing your path to becoming an accountant? I you are like most, the answer is none. Poor listening, which is too common, leads to many negative results. Have you ever heard someone talk about… A boss they don’t like? “He doesn’t • listen.” A relationship that ailed? “We never • listened to each other.” A business transaction that ell through? • “We were never on the same page.” Translation: Neither party really lis- tened to the other. Listening is a difcult skill to master Becoming a deep listener is not com- mon sense either. It is one o the most dicult skills to master. “Leader’s Edge” is a new six-part Disclosures column by Brian Kush, CPA, CISA, CITP , focusing on management, leadership and interpersonal skills essential for CPAs. Brian is a featured VSCPA speaker who travels the state offering in-house CPE courses. Want to learn more or book Brian for your rm or company? Contact VSCP A Customized Education Manager Ly dia Sartori at [email protected] or (804) 612-9425. 10 Leader’s Edge • Disclosures • January/February Leader’s Edge Speak volumes without saying a wor d … through listening By Brian Kush, CPA, CISA, CITP How many classes did you take on listening during your path to become an accountant? I you are like most, the answer is none.
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Transcript of Speak Volumes Without Saying a Word ... Through Listening
Leaders must infuence others:colleagues, clients, amilymembers, even strangers.
Your communication skills are vitalin infuencing others, and it’s natural
to think you must have an eloquentand inspiring way to tell others what
needs to get done.But there is a potentially fawed as-
sumption in that logic. Beore you cancommunicate anything, you must ensurethe recipient is ready and open to receiv-ing your communication. Better yet, i they are truly enthusiastic about listen-ing to you, then your message will have
a much higher probability o beingreceived.
So how do we make sure oth-ers are listening? I you want
others to listen more, becomethe deep listener you hopeto see.
To become a betterlistener, you will have todo some basic things, likemaking an intentionaldecision to strengthenyour listening skills. Youwill need to bring moreenergy and ocus to yourlistening opportunities.
You have probablyheard “listening is impor-
tant.” That may seem likecommon sense, but how
oten do we describe whatwe should be doing as common
sense? It happens a lot, and that is becausecommon sense does not always translateinto “common practice.”
Most people make two “common” as-sumptions when it comes to listening:
They believe they are better listeners1.than those around them.They believe listening is an easy skill2.that can be “turned on” wheneverneeded.
But many o us don’t listen well, andunlike reading, writing and arithmetic, weprobably were not taught how to listen inschool — and most have not had ormaltraining on the skill upon graduation. Howmany classes did you take on listening dur-ing your path to becoming an accountant?I you are like most, the answer is none.
Poor listening, which is too common,leads to many negative results. Have youever heard someone talk about…
A boss they don’t like? “He doesn’t•
listen.”
A relationship that ailed? “We never•
listened to each other.”
A business transaction that ell through?•
“We were never on the same page.”
Translation: Neither party really lis-tened to the other.
Listening is a difcultskill to master
Becoming a deep listener is not com-mon sense either. It is one o the mostdicult skills to master.
“Leader’s Edge” is a new six-part Disclosures column by Brian Kush, CPA,
CISA, CITP, focusing on management, leadership and interpersonal
skills essential for CPAs. Brian is a featured VSCPA speaker who travels
the state offering in-house CPE courses. Want to learn more or book
Brian for your rm or company? Contact VSCPA Customized Education
Manager Lydia Sartori at [email protected] or (804) 612-9425.
10 Leader’s Edge • Disclosures • January/February
Leader’sEdge
Speak volumes without saying a word …through listening
By Brian Kush, CPA, CISA, CITP
How many
classes did you
take on listening
during your path
to become an
accountant?
I you are
like most,
the answer
is none.
Leader’s Edge • Disclosures • January/February 11
Why is that?Listening is dicult because we are
programmed to think a lot aster thanpeople talk. Think about the last time youhad to just sit there and listen to anotherperson speak. Maybe it was a sermon or alecture.
During the time you were listeningto that other person speak, your brainwas working at a much aster pace thanthe other person was talking. You can-not help it. It is dicult to slow downyour thought processes. So the challenge becomes — What do you do with all thatextra “space?”
Focus on the speaker.• Mentally putyoursel in the other person’s shoes.
Hunt for the message behind•
their message.Why are they sayingwhat they are saying? How are theyeeling as they are saying it? You’ll needto read their body language and tone togure this out.
Ensure you understand exactly•
what they are saying. Focus on clar-ity. Ask clariying questions and repeat back your interpretation o what theyare saying.
Listen more to lead moreThe business world is accelerating and
technology allows us to communicatein ways we never could just a ew years back. But think about some o those bigmoments when you and another “con-nected” in a way that helped you not onlyexecute but also enhance the relationship.
Chances are, those moments werelive. Chances are, those moments wereintimate. Chances are, those moments in-volved solid communication and listeningskills. Chances are, a personal relationshiphas been built up over the years based oneective communication. Chances are,those people mean a lot to you becausethey LISTEN to you.
I you refect, you probably know whatdeep listening eels like, because it’s thepeople who are most important to youwho listen deeply to you. Do you have aavorite aunt or uncle? A avorite col-league? A best riend? They are probablyyour “avorite” because they do one simple
thing: They listen to you, and it makesyou eel important.
Those types o eelings should not bereserved or out-o-oce situations. Busi-ness is about relationships, and no matterwhat people might say, business is alsoabout riendships. We help people we likeand we want to work with people we likeinside and outside the oce walls. Guesswhat. We “like” listeners.
Better listening will lead to better re-sults in your career. These results include:
More productivity.• You rememberand process inormation better, whichleads to aster actions.
Faster learning.• You don’t have tohear it twice.
Enhanced relationships.• You de-velop trust because both parties knowthe other person is willing and able tolisten.
When your cohorts KNOW that youwill provide them an active ear, whenthey can assume that you will ully listen beore a conversation has even begun, aew magical things will start to happen:
They will eel more condent.•
They will eel more secure.•
They will eel more supported.•
They will eel more open.•
They will want to return your over-•
tures in kind. Yes, they will WANT tolisten to you also!
“Excuses”for being apoor listenerI don’t have time! I you don’t
have time to actively listen to
another, then don’t! Reschedule
your meeting so you can show
respect and be a ully engaged
listener. “I don’t have time right
now to provide you my ull at-
tention and you deserve that, so
can we talk later?”
There are too many distractions!
Take some ownership o the
situation. I there are physical
distractions or interruptions in
your current environment, then
change it. “Can we take a min-
ute and jump into the coner-
ence room? I want to make sure
I can hear you out.”
I disagree with everything you
are saying! It is easy to fll the
space in your mind with rebut-
tals when you are judging every
word because you disagree.
Try something new next time.
Fully hear their side by taking
their side. Try and disprove your
assumptions and preconceived
notions by listening or negative
evidence against your own posi-
tion. Ater they are ully heard,
then you can make your evalu-
ation. It’s hard to do this, but
great practice!
Brian Kush, CPA,
CISA, CITP ,
is a leadership coach
and president at
Moxie Partners, and
author of “Auditing
Leadership” (Wiley,
July 2009). Contact him
or (571) 313-1735.
