Shifting Idealistic Expectations

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Unhappilyneverafter.com

INTRODUCTION• I have been saying throughout my blogs that fairytales are not that realistic. Life has taught me that nothing is as it seems. I have never met or known a perfect couple. Have you? Everything is not always peachy keen and fa la la's.

•You may meet a prince charming except everything will not always be ideal. As we have witnessed, even real-life princes are not perfect. You will hold hands and skip through the meadows every now and then. Though, what about those days when you don't even want to look at the other person? There will come a time when couples will face obstacles and struggles they must overcome.

CONTINUED•A lot of the problems in relationships to me and I am not professing to know it all -is that we drag a lot of our unrealistic expectations to the table and put them off on our significant others. I know that I am responsible for doing the same exact thing.

• Picture this: You meet a person and they have a similar life as yours "on paper". You say to yourself, "oh he is so perfect for me. We will be the perfect couple. He will not argue. He will always hold my hand, walk me to my car, and open the door for me". However, in reality what you have imagined about that individual is make-believe. Just because you share some things in common, does not make the way he views life the same as yours.

• Therein lies the problem. One must be realistic going into a relationship. So, I will list three unrealistic expectations that we need to reassess. They are as follows:

NUMBER ONE

1.He will always believe what you believe:

• Come to terms right now - that you will not always agree on everything that happens in your lives. There will be philosophical differences on an array of things.

• For instance, there is a strong possibility that you will disagree over social beliefs, religious beliefs, political beliefs, and financial beliefs - just to name a few. There are two ways to go with this.

1. He will always believe what you believe: • Talk it over and work it out

or leave the relationship. You should accept that his experiences and upbringing may differ than yours and will cause a wrinkle in your perfect plan. I would hope that you would be willing to work things through.

• Although, it is definitely up to you if you determine the discrepancies are too large to mend.

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NUMBER TWO

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3AAfrican_Family.jpg . http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/bf/African_Family.jpg; By Wazzle (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

•Families have your back through thick and thin and expect you to be happy. Obviously, you can understand that they would want the person you are with to make and keep you happy. With that, do not anticipate someone's parents liking you. Often times all you have to do is walk in the door for someone's mother to determine if she likes you or not.

• If his family does not like you, then your family will notice and tensions will ensue. Best believe that both families will protect their "own" family members. So, gingerly discuss with your partner before meeting the parents what to do if things like this will happen. Have your game plan ready and move forward before all of the stress happens. Only you know what you can endure and whether it is worth dealing with.

2. Your family and his family will naturally mesh well:

NUMBER THREE

•In the beginning, he found you to be the most beautiful girl in the world. Whenever the two of you would go out on a date, his eyes and attention were constantly locked on you and vice versa.

•The two of you are only human and yes his eyes will wander and so will yours. However, that does not mean that he will pursue that woman he was drooling over in front of you. If he does, then that is cause for worry and grounds for terminating the relationship.

•Though admiring another woman's beauty is not. I am sure that he will always find you to be beautiful (unless he is shallow and wants you to lose a few pounds or suggests that you get a boob job). Yet, it is unrealistic to think that he will always be awe-struck with you.

3. He will always be awe-struck by you:

CONCLUSION

•Don't lose yourself in the pretense of a relationship. You have been in enough now to know that you should always expect the unexpected. Take your time with your partner. Stay away from too many love stories because they will cloud your judgment. Those are make believe - albeit some great writing.

•Stay in the here and now and listen to not just your heart, but, your intuition as well. Talk things through before you head into trouble. In other words, tell your partner what you expect and how you will work on compromising if you do hit a rough patch. However, never think that things will always be perfect -even if they appear to be.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIMEunhappilyneverafter.com

I wish you good luck and thank you for reading my blog.

UNTIL NEXT SUNDAYKa

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