Sample - WorkExcel.com · This information is not intended to replace the medical advice of your...

Try to not take comments personally. They

should be about your job performance and

that is what you have to address. Also, avoid

venting with coworkers, which could just

make the situation worse. If you have to let

off steam, do it when you get home. Mow the

lawn or take a brisk walk. If you decide on a

written response to be put in your file, go

over it carefully to be sure that you are using

a professional, objective tone that presents

yourself in the best light. Remember to treat

your manager with respect. This should not

be about personalities. Your review and any

response should be about job performance.

© 2009 EAPtools.com E016

If you feel that an observation is grossly

unfair, many companies allow you to write

a response for your personnel file. In this

case, be sure to couch your response in ob-

jective language. Do not turn your remarks

into a personal assault on an “unfair man-

ager.” That approach certainly won't help

your cause. Simply explain the situation as

you experienced it. “Although Mrs. Harris

feels that my tardiness has been excessive,

I had written a letter about my wife’s ill-

ness, and I felt my reasons for coming in

late were understood.” On the other hand,

if you feel that your boss has a valid point,

take the position of the team player. What

changes can you make to bring your per-

formance into line? After all, you still want

to remain on this team!

What to Do about a Negative

Performance Performance Performance Performance RevieRevieRevieReviewwww

Y our annual review is your

time to shine, even when

some of the feedback is

negative! The review process

offers you the opportunity to

look back at your accom-

Alignment of Expectations

What the EAP Can Do

If you know that your performance fell a

notch during the past year, the best ap-

proach is to be the first one to mention it.

Recruit the person you report to as your

ally. After all, your manager is the “expert”

who’s responsible for your review. Make

sure that you understand what your boss

expects so you meet those expectations. If

the criticism really catches you by surprise,

you need to know more about it so that you

can keep on track. Set yourself up for suc-

cess with a positive response.

Exercise Your Options

Keep Emotions Under Control

Putting the Review in Perspective Just how serious

were the negative points brought up

in your review? Serious enough to put your

job in jeopardy? Or can you look at them as

points to keep in mind and observations to

get you back on track for the coming year?

Being judged or appraised is, by its very

nature, stressful. And remember, no matter

how well you perform, a skilled manager

will look for points for improvement. If

there was nothing more to learn or improve

upon, you might feel relieved, but you

would not benefit from the performance re-

Revisit the Scene of the Crime

Sometimes you can be so stunned when a

review turns into what you feel is a tallying

of your shortcomings that you may not be

ready to turn the experience into something

positive at that moment. Remain calm. After

you’ve given the review some thought, con-

sider what you want to say. What points do

you want to make or clarify with your man-

ager? Plan your discussion. Write out your

comments and go over them at home. Ask

for an appointment. Make this post-review

conference a win-win situation by coming

to an agreement on common expectations

for the coming year. A negative review can

be a vehicle for career growth if you view

the process as a valuable tool in understand-

ing and developing skills that will be recog-

nized on the job.

If you don’t agree with what’s been pointed

out in your review, ask for clarification.

“You’ve said that I don’t always use good

judgment. Could you give me an example?

I’d really like to learn from this.” Turn the

review into an opportunity for improvement.

Of course you feel disappointed and you may

even feel angry. However, resist the urge to

become emotional. If you calmly ask for

clarification, your boss will probably appreci-

ate having the opportunity to explain. He or

she will also know that you are taking these

comments seriously.

Ask for Clarification

The EAP can help you identify the steps to

improve your performance, help you find

hope to succeed, and energy to take on the

challenges of tomorrow.

This information is not intended to replace the medical advice of your doctor or healthcare provider. Please consult your health care provider or EAP for advice about a personal concern or medical condition.

Sample


Sticking to Your Recovery Program from Addictive Disease

I f you are a recovering alcoholic or drug addict, everything important to you may hinge on your ability to achieve sobriety. You may have heard that relapse is a part of recovery. It’s true, but this does not mean that relapse is going to happen or should happen. Relapse is dangerous because there is no way to predict

if you will return to sustained abstinence, and if so, when. Here are a few tips for success:

■ To avoid relapse, you must be vigilant and actively involved in a 12-step recovery program. These pro-

grams—Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, etc., are spiritual, not religious programs. They

work best for most people. So it is common sense to give them your best shot. In the beginning of recovery,

the risk of relapse is highest, so following instructions offered by these programs is critical.

■ Some of the recommendations offered to newcomers include committing to 90 meetings in 90 days, getting a

sponsor, finding a home group, attending a variety of meetings, and working the first three steps of the 12-step

program.

■ Relapse Triggers Are Ever Present: You may struggle with relapse trig-gers—people, places, things, or thoughts that can stimulate the

urge to drink or use drugs. Identifying, recog-

nizing, and avoiding these trig-

gers is an ac-

Controlled Drinking—Forget It ■ Complete Abstinence: Complete is the only way to recover from addictive disease (even if you do know some-one’s uncle who “succeeded” in doing it some other way!) Research and science don’t support controlled use.

That’s because metabolizing alcohol or drugs reactivates the disease. Twelve-step groups are total abstinence pro-

grams. You won’t stick around long if you’re experimenting with controlled drinking, and you’ll never find a

sponsor to support you, which is a key element in a recovery program likely to succeed.

■ Why Relapse Happens: Will you be successful? Ask yourself, “How involved am I in my recovery program?” Stay away from things that interfere with your recovery, and do things that support it. Relapses are often associ-

ated with emotional states, especially “hunger,” “anger,” “loneliness,” and feeling “tired” (HALT). They can

prompt an urge to drink. So make a healthier “you” a key part of your recovery program. You will be easier to

avoid “stinking thinking,”—destructive thoughts, and rationalizations that precede the behavior or relapse.

■ Learn from the Lessons of Others Before You: Twelve-step meetings aren’t just about abstinence and sobriety. You will also learn a tremendous amount about life, emotional common sense, or “right thinking.” It is

possible that someone you admire greatly or rely upon as a role model will relapse. This is frightening and

disheartening, but don’t make it an excuse to drink or use drugs again. It is a setback for them, not you.

■ Growing in Sobriety: Sobriety represents a degree of quality in your abstinent lifestyle. Recovery is the process of acquiring sobriety “one day at a time.” Putting your sobriety first allows you to get the things you want

in life, including happier relationships with those you love. And it is worth it.

How the EAP Can Help Your employee assistance program has expertise in guiding recovering persons even if the professional with whom you work is

not in recovery themselves. Rely upon them for tips in managing your recovery program, keeping you honest with yourself about

your behavior, and helping you celebrate the anniversaries and “birthdays” sure to come as you put your sobriety first.


Get Started on the Right Path

Sample

S urfing the Internet is convenient, fast, and efficient when you’re looking for information. The possibilities seem endless, but the time you spend on the Internet can also become unlimited and eventually addictive. This is also called Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD).

Take the following quiz to find out if your use of the Internet is interfering with your social or occupational functioning. “Yes” answers indicate a need to seek an assessment for the possibility of IAD.

■Do you go on the Internet for one purpose and end up spending far more time than you’d planned?

■Does your family complain of not seeing you enough because of Internet use?

■Are Internet friendships more important to you than other friendships?

■Have you tried limiting your Internet use, only to fail at doing so?

■Do you use the Internet as a form of escape—to avoid responsibilities or a problem in your life?

High Stakes of IAD Those suffering from IAD encounter family, legal, financial, and work problems. When you are bored, you risk plopping down in front of the computer rather than participating in healthier activities. Plus, you run the risk developing online relationships that can threaten the stability of your home life.

Occupational Hazards Employees surfing the Web is the leading cause of lost work time according to a 2007 survey by www.salary.com. And for employees with sexual addiction patterns, uncontrollable visits to pornographic Web sites can lead to your loss of a job, legal entanglements or even arrest. You cannot count on “Wipe It Clean” programs to erase your history of Internet use, no matter what the slick advertising says.

Financial Losses

Shopping can be dangerous on the Internet if you’ve had compulsive shopping problems in your life. Gambling sites are especially risky. Compulsive gambling is a devastating illness and it is only a click away from your retirement or children’s education funds. These are often tapped by gambling addicts to pay gambling debts.

If you struggled with the five tips above, the EAP can help assess the extent of your addiction to the Internet and determine what steps you can take to stop it. The EAP will help you get to the right source of help.

What the EAP Can Do

Internet Addiction Caught in the Web

First

Steps, Then Seek Help ■ Have you thought, “Should I cut back on my Internet use?”

Seriously asking yourself this question indicates that you may likely suffer with IAD. Nevertheless, give it a try.

■ Ask yourself, “Is my use of the Internet a substitute for resolving some personal problem in my life like a marital problem or job boredom? Am I depressed? Do I feel anxious if I stay offline?

■ Try tapering off and setting limits. “I will spend only 10 hours a week online.” Gauge your success. Count the hours and the minutes and then reduce it.

■ Disrupt your routine. If you mostly use the Internet on weekends, shift to only going online during the week. Is your computer in a quiet room in the basement? Move it to another room where you will not be isolated. Does this help change your use pattern?

This information is not intended to replace the medical advice of your doctor or health care provider. Please consult your health care provider or EAP for advice about a personal concern or medical condition.


Increased Tolerance – As time passes, you need more and more time on the Internet to maintain your initial level of excitement.

Withdrawal Symptoms – If you attempt to limit your time on the Internet, you become anxious or irritated. You may obsess and wonder what’s happening on the Internet, fantasize, or dream about it. To counter these symptoms, you go online for relief.

Internet Expert – The Internet replaces your hobbies. Where you once studied golf, woodworking, gardening, or fishing—browsers, speakers, or computer software has become an obsession.

Social Isolation – Less involvement with family, job, or friends in order to use the computer. Risk of Loss – Time on the Internet causes loss of a relationship, educational plans, or career goals.

Internet Addiction Behaviors

Sample


Back to Work When You’re Ready Is Key

GGGGoing back to work as soon you are able will help you avoid the pitfalls of long-term recovery. These can include depression; isolation; family conflicts; deterioration of workplace relationships; anxiety; and fear of losing job skills and, of course, income.

The amount of suffering is bad enough, but the toll on mental health and the impact on family from the stress during recovery is rarely considered. Here’s how you and those you love can bounce back sooner. And here’s how your EAP can help.

KKKKeep appointments and follow medical instructions. Even if you are beginning to feel better, do not stop medications or begin participating in activities that can cause reinjury. Medical practitioners will help prepare you for a safe return to work through proper medication and ex-ercise, which could include a work-hardening program.

Your Mission: Getting Well and Back to Work

Get your doctor’s approval for staying physically active. Keep a recovery chart so that you can see your pro-gress. Get out of the house if at all possible. Change the scenery. Find appropriate ways to keep up with what’s going on at work. Consider online courses or other training to im-prove your skills and abilities.

The EAP can meet with you during your recovery to offer you support and refer you to resources in your community that can aid your recov-ery needs. Meet with the EAP early, before you begin to notice depres-sion, family conflicts, or struggles with those around you.


What the EAP Can Do

While waiting for recovery, are you: ▪ Feeling depressed or "flat," with no emotion? ▪ Becoming very emotional? ▪ Becoming irritated or angered more easily? ▪ Taking excessive amounts of pain medication? ▪ Ignoring your doctor’s instructions? because recovery feels hopeless? ▪ Experiencing conflict with those at work? ▪ Experiencing more conflicts at home?

Being determined to succeed will bene-fit your recovery. Studies have shown that positive attitudes about recovery aid injured workers greatly.

If your injury resulted from not being

cautious or following a safety rule, be careful about mentally punishing your-self for it. It is better to commit to

Being off Work May Be Bad for Your Health

Studies show that employees injured and off work for six to twelve months have only a 10-20% chance of return-ing to work. Not working can lead to poorer physical and mental health, loss of self-worth and self-confidence, and social isolation. Anger and depression are risks you face along with boredom and apathy. Your mission is to fight these dangers, avoid the “sick role” permanently, and stay positive.

Staying Positive

Staying Active and Chart Your Success

Returning to Work

You may be offered light-

duty work to accommodate the state of your recovery as permitted by your health care provider. Don’t resist light-duty work. Even if light-duty work is not your preferred job, getting back to work will do you more good than you realize. If you return to your regular job, do not participate in duties you once performed that have not been medically approved. Feeling guilty or

Recovery

Workplace Injuries:

Stress and Recovery

Sample

Each suicide affects

many other people. Blame and guilt are

common, and so are shock and denial.

Some may get angry with the victim for

making that choice. Loneliness and sorrow

in those left behind can result in depression.

Support groups are extremely helpful in

healing traumatic wounds caused by sui-

It has been said, “Suicide is not chosen, it

happens when pain exceeds resources for

coping with pain.” This is also a strong ra-

tionale for getting help from your employee

assistance program. The EAP can help you

find resources in the community to help you

if you are depressed and suicidal or know

someone who is.

What Are They Feeling?

Many people have thoughts about suicide,

but most will never make an attempt.

Those that do make attempts may fre-

quently focus on unresolved life prob-

lems. This can offer clues to their des-

peration. They may focus on unstoppable

pain and say how there is no way out.

They may not be to able sleep, eat, or

work. They may experience profound

depression and the inability to make sad-

ness go away. They may not see them-

selves as worthwhile, or be unable to get

someone’s attention whom they value.


Facts about Suicide

Every 40 seconds, someone attempts sui-

cide. Every 17 minutes, someone succeeds.

Over 400,000 failed attempts a year end up

with serious injuries. In most cases, the per-

son who commits suicide has tried before

and made numerous attempts to reach out to

others. Ninety percent of suicides are asso-

ciated with mental illness, such as depres-

sion. And 50% of suicides are associated

with alcohol or drug use.

Other Warning Signs

Abuse

Signs of Suicidal Thinking

A suicidal person may talk of self-

destructive behavior: “Maybe I should just

jump from that roof.” or “My family would

be better off without me.”

There may

Those at greatest risk of suicide have often

experienced a disruptive life event such as

the following:

• Loss of a loved one

• Divorce, separation, loss of child

custody

• Serious or terminal illness

• Serious accident

• Violence: rape, assault, kidnapping

• Verbal, emotional, or sexual abuse

• Chronic illness

• Feeling that things will never get bet-

ter

• Al-

Who’s at Risk? Don’t Wait...Act

When a person makes a decision to commit

suicide, they may suddenly become calm.

Their decision provides relief because the

suicidal person has found a “solution” to

their problems. Do not ignore this state of

calm or apparent wellness. The suicidal

person may create a checklist of “to-dos” or

give away belongings. If you think a friend

or loved one is planning suicide, ask. Don’t

let your fear of the answer inhibit you from

asking this question. Most

people con-

If you need immediate help for yourself or a

loved one, call 911, 1-800-SUICIDE or

1-800-273-TALK. Other resources include

your employee assistance program, www.

suicide.org, www.afsp.com (American

Society for Suicide Prevention), or

www.survivorsofsuicide.com.

Act Fast Resources

What the EAP Can Do

This information is not intended to replace the medical advice of your doctor or health care provider. Talk to your health care provider or EAP for advice about a personal concern or medical condition.

WHEN THERE’S TALK OF Suicide

Do’s and Don’ts

• Do take suicidal comments seriously.

• Do respond to suicidal statements.

• Don’t act shocked or panicked.

• Don’t say, “Oh, you don't mean that.”

• Do ask what means of killing oneself

are being considered.

• Don’t intervene alone.

• Do encourage the person to seek pro-

fessional help. Help find resources.

• Do offer to take the person to get help.

• Do get rid of any lethal means of com-

mitting suicide: guns, poison, etc. Effect on Others

Sample

This information is not intended to replace the medical advice of your doctor or health care provider. Talk to your health care provider or EAP for advice about a personal concern or medical condition.

Circadian Rhythm ■ The human body follows a 24-hour cycle, called a circadian rhythm, deter-mined by daylight and darkness. Your blood pressure, temperature, heart rate, and breathing rate are affected by this biological phe-

Create a New Cycle ■ Sleep restores the body and benefits mental health. If you work nights, you may come home exhausted but unable to sleep, or you may not reach the deep phase called “delta sleep.” It can help to establish a new and regular cycle. Try having breakfast with your family, and then fall asleep. Do not use caffeine before going to sleep. Use the same schedule on your days off.

Sleep Problems

■

Shift work sleep disorder (SWSD) has been de-

fined by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine as insomnia during daytime or excessive sleepiness while working. About 14 percent of all shift workers suffer from SWSD. To avoid

Health Issues

■ Poor diet from meals caught on the run can lead to indigestion, heartburn, and other health problems. Epilepsy, diabetes and depression can be made worse by shift work. Eye fatigue, mus-cle pain, and mental exhaustion can lead to accidents on the job. Long 12-

Balance Risks with Healthy Habits ■ Structure a healthy lifestyle. Get ex-ercise. Try walking or working out be-fore your shift. Bring carrots, celery, or low-fat pretzels for snacks. Avoid heavy meals in the early morning hours that can disturb restful sleep when you get home. Recreate on your days off with family and friends—other shift workers and non-work friends.

Avoiding Danger ■Sleepy workers are less productive and prone to injuries on the job. You may have to fight your body’s natural inclination to sleep during darkness. Be careful from 3:30 a.m. to 5:30 a.m. be-cause it can be the most fatiguing time period. DO ... • Do wear sunglasses driving home. • To sleep, do use blackout shades,

earplugs, or “white noise.”

Managing Family Life

■ Hav-ing less time to

spend with your family can cause tension. Children’s activities and school events can be missed. It’s easy


LLLLIVINGIVINGIVINGIVING LLLLIFE AS AIFE AS AIFE AS AIFE AS A

SSSSHIFT HIFT HIFT HIFT WWWWORKEORKEORKEORKERRRR T he human body wants to be alert during the day. Disrupting its

“biologic clock” can complicate the lives of shift workers. The “graveyard shift,” 11 p.m. to 7 a.m., is most problematic, followed

by the 3 p.m. to 11 p.m. shift. Shift work has many benefits, but chal-lenges are adverse if you don’t manage their negative effects.

hour shifts can expose workers to more chemical substances as well as more noise and vibration, depending on the job.

DON’T ... • Do not become dependent on sleep

medications. • Do not smoke to stay awake. • Do not drink alcohol to get to sleep. • Do not substitute salty, fatty snack

foods to make up for missed meals. • Do not depend on coffee to keep

you awake on the job. • Avoid work tasks at the end of your

shift that demand your utmost at-tention.

• Do not eat fatty meals high in pro-tein in early morning hours.

• Do not drive if you fear falling asleep on the road. Take a short nap. Try carpooling.

• Do have a set routine for sleep.

Read more at www.CDC.gov/Niosh [Search “shift workers and sleep”]

Sample


Do you or a coworker come in late, leave early, or miss work altogether, always with an excuse? Is domestic abuse the reason? Of the 5.3 million women abused each year, 1,232 are eventually killed by their partners, male or female. Recognition and inter-vention are critical to break the cycle of abuse. Abused workers are preoc-cupied, tense, and hyper-vigilant. This costs them, and their employer. Eve-ryone loses.

Scope of the Problem

What Is Domestic Violence?

Domestic abuse can be physical, sex-

ual, economic, or emotional. • Does your partner threaten or hu-

miliate you, often in front of oth-ers?

• Does he put the blame on you? “You make me drink.” “I have to do drugs to put up with you.”

• Are you often isolated, restrained, or under continual surveillance?

• Are you pressured to have un-wanted sex?

• Does your partner withhold praise or affection?

Planning an Escape Route

A victim of abuse

has a right to protect herself

Taking Legal Action

If you have decided to leave, you may need a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) to keep the abuser away from you, your home, your workplace, and the children’s school. The police will enforce the order when alerted, but you should educate yourself about how they work. Report any violations promptly. Make teachers aware of the TRO and discuss safe behaviors with your children. Let your employer know it, and alert secu-rity guards and coworkers. About 75% of abuse victims are harassed at work. The EAP stands ready to help you trou-bleshoot problems, examine options, deal with hard choices, and face the fu-ture.

Helping a Coworker

You may desperately want your part-

ner in professional counseling, and ac-ceptance of help may follow a crisis, but ask: Is the abuser an alcoholic or drug addict? If so, chronic disease will sabotage professional counseling, so treating it first must be the starting point. Regular attendance at a 12-step program is one indication that change is possible and should be concurrent with other counseling. If drinking or drug use continues, during counseling or afterwards, another violent incident

Counseling: Will It Work?

When You’re a Victim of Domestic Violence


Why Victims Stay

Many victims of domestic abuse stay because they need the financial support and shelter provided by the abuser. They may still love him or her and hope for change. They may feel responsible for the abuse. “If only I cooked better, was more attractive, made more money, was better in bed.” Abuse can begin with a shove and eventually turn into severe beatings. The sooner the abuse is recognized, the safer the exit can be. Leaving should be carefully considered, and if planned, done in a way that en-sures your safety.

Myths abound about domestic vio-lence. Coworkers may think, “It could-

n’t be that bad or she would leave.” Don’t accept excuses if a friend can’t explain injuries. Say, “I’m concerned about you. How did you really get hurt?” Offer to find help. If you cannot offer your own home as a safe place, connect your coworker with one of the domestic violence hotlines.

B attered employees often hide the pain

at work. They may be embarrassed or

afraid of losing their job. Do you or a

coworker have bruises to hide, fears you

can’t talk about? Most victims of domestic

violence are women–wives or significant

others, who deny what’s happening.

Sample

those who don’t force the emotional de-

mands of intimacy on them. Relationships

with abusive persons, alcoholics, or other

overeaters is not uncommon. No one sees

the real inside of the compulsive over-

eater. But treatment can work.

For compulsive overeaters, food is a

hated friend that never fails to make

them feel good. Food is eaten for no

reason or any reason. Unfortunately,

without treating the psychological driv-

ing forces behind the abuse of food,

diet strategies fail. Compulsive eaters

may seek close relationships with oth-

ers who also struggle with intimacy, the

ability to manage feelings, and with

I f you experience bouts of

uncontrollable eating in re-

sponse to emotional triggers,

followed by feelings of guilt and

shame— whether or not you are

overweight—you may suffer a

health care problem referred to

as compulsive eating. Compul-

sive eating is not officially con-

sidered an “eating disorder,”

but it can be just as deadly.

Facing and Stopping Compulsive Eating


Compulsive Eating: CauseCompulsive Eating: CauseCompulsive Eating: CauseCompulsive Eating: Cause

The Cycle of PainThe Cycle of PainThe Cycle of PainThe Cycle of Pain

Most compulsive overeaters are over-

weight and experience psychological

pain others do not see. Some overeat-

ers, with histories of abuse or assault

may use their body size to protect them-

selves from others and society. Rejec-

tion serves a purpose: avoiding close-

ness and the demands of intimacy that

are naturally a part of a healthy rela-

tionship. Eating helps soothe the pain

of awareness. Many compulsive over-

eaters in recovery discuss the self-hate

they once felt. This

cycle

It’s Not about WeightIt’s Not about WeightIt’s Not about WeightIt’s Not about Weight

Most compulsive eaters dis-

covered in

• After you eat, you frequently

feel sick or stuffed.

• You eat to change your mood or feel better.

• You’ve wondered: “Am I addicted to food?”

• You prefer to eat alone so you feel less self-conscious,

and so you can eat the amount you want, the way you want.

• You feel depressed, disgusted, or guilty after overeating.

• When you share food with others, you feel less guilty

about eating it.

• You hide food, lock it up, and store it for later use.

Are You a Compulsive Eater?

Treatment WorksTreatment WorksTreatment WorksTreatment Works

Treatment is a journey of insight,

growth, recovery, and release. It

is not an easy

How the EAP Can HelpHow the EAP Can HelpHow the EAP Can HelpHow the EAP Can Help


The EAP will

not judge you. Instead, we will

join your fight for sanity. The EAP can

find you resources in the

Sample

Manage Stress Right Now S tress can escalate until your neck is sore, your heart is racing, and you feel overwhelmed. On

an average day, more than half of the workforce leaves work with neck pain, tired eyes, or sore hands. Many take the stress home, vent with family or friends, and then have trouble

sleeping. Stop the stress cycle with these ten quick, easy tips.

1 Deep BreathsDeep BreathsDeep BreathsDeep Breaths. Slow racing thoughts and relax knotted muscles by breathing

deeply and slowly, at least ten times. Put one hand on your stomach. Make sure it rises with each breath. Avoid fast, shallow chest breaths that increase tension. Breathe in through your nose and exhale through your mouth.

2 VisualizationVisualizationVisualizationVisualization. Picture your favorite place to relax. Beach? Woods? Hiking

trail? Keep a picture in your office or on your refrigerator. Pause to feel, hear, and smell your

3 Prioritize. Prioritize. Prioritize. Prioritize. Write down your top three priorities for the day. Put the rest aside.

If possible, stop answering your phone or e-mail for thirty minutes. Collect yourself. Fo-cus. When priorities change, pitch that note and write another with only three points. Don’t think too far ahead. Stay in the moment. Work on what’s in front of you.

4 Relaxing Relaxing Relaxing Relaxing MusicMusicMusicMusic. If your

workplace allows music, opt for slow classical pieces such as Debussy’s “Clair de Lune” or contemporary CDs such as George Winston's “Summer” or “Winter.” Slow your mind and

5 Positive SelfPositive SelfPositive SelfPositive Self----TalkTalkTalkTalk. Don't buy into “calamity conversations” and absorb the

stress of others. Run positive messages through your mind. Use your voice. Say, “Of course I can handle this, all in good time.” Walk outside if work continues as the main topic at lunch. Think of something besides work as you walk: dinner with your spouse or your daughter’s soccer game. “I'm really looking forward to this evening.”

6 Set Boundaries and DetachSet Boundaries and DetachSet Boundaries and DetachSet Boundaries and Detach. Make taking care of yourself your first emotional

priority. You can’t make people you don’t like van-ish, but you can make them a smaller part of your emotional life by responding differently to their emotionality, behavior, and crises. This means knowing what your hot buttons are and practicing different responses, getting better each time you


7 Laugh at YourselfLaugh at YourselfLaugh at YourselfLaugh at Yourself. It’s impossible to smile and stay stressed. If you smile

when you’re talking with a coworker or smile when you answer the phone, your stress will unwind. CDs are available with contagious laugh tracks. Keep a list of funny situations you’ve been involved in or scenes from a movie with your favorite comedian. Recall and laugh.

8 Select StressSelect StressSelect StressSelect Stress----free Snacksfree Snacksfree Snacksfree Snacks. Sugar can make you feel great during stressful

times, but when your blood sugar crashes, you end up more strung out than before. Choose high-protein snacks such as yogurt or nuts or fibrous vegetables and fruits such as carrots or apples. Decaffeinated teas can be soothing, but avoid coffee, tea, or pop with caffeine, all of which heighten anxiety.

9 Change the ChannelChange the ChannelChange the ChannelChange the Channel. Bringing the tension home? Break away from your

stress by tuning into a comedy or romance on TV, a DVD, or at the theater—enjoy a storyline where everything ends on a happy note. Leave your own drama by enjoying someone else’s story. No news, no high-adrenaline adventure flicks.

10 What the EAP Can Do.What the EAP Can Do.What the EAP Can Do.What the EAP Can Do. If these tips don’t work for you, or if you think

you need something more, phone the EAP. You may need additional help to resolve per-sonal problems or issues that are the source of stress in your life. The EAP will help you find a way to feel good again.

EAP


Sample


H olidays are joyful times of festive cele-brations with family

and friends. And yet for many, that image is far from reality. Loss, loneli-ness, and nostalgia can make holidays diffi-cult

Quick Quiz

So, What Gives?

TTTT he very thought of the holiday season can send many into a

funk. Why? Holidays are often filled with memories that become glorified as time passes, linked to loved ones who are no longer in your life. Divorce, death and dis-tance are especially painful at this time. If you feel the holidays bear-ing down on you, you need to plan ahead.


1111 Set Realistic Expectations Set Realistic Expectations Set Realistic Expectations Set Realistic Expectations. Most holiday depression is

caused by unrealistic expectations. Will you be the receiver of holiday joy or the giver? Plan how to achieve that goal and keep your ex-pectations in mind, no matter what image is promoted by the media.

Holidays Making the

More Positive

Take the following quiz to see if you could fall victim to the holiday blues. If you answer “yes” to any of the questions, you may need the following tips.

Ten Steps

2222 Set a BudgetSet a BudgetSet a BudgetSet a Budget. How much money will you devote to this

holiday? Avoid going into debt that might make you feel guilty and de-pressed. Plan, shop sales, compro-mise and stick to your budget.

3333 Avoid Hectic Avoid Hectic Avoid Hectic Avoid Hectic SchedulesSchedulesSchedulesSchedules. Get

enough rest. Sit down with family and discuss your calendar. Choose and eliminate. Buy treats within budget instead of always baking

4444 Regroup and Revitalize.Regroup and Revitalize.Regroup and Revitalize.Regroup and Revitalize. Set aside time for your favorite holi-

day story or movie. Create your own holiday environment, one with new traditions that will sustain, nur-ture and calm you. Turn on lots of lights to fight the shorter days that can may prompt the blues.

5555 Make Plans. Get Structure!Make Plans. Get Structure!Make Plans. Get Structure!Make Plans. Get Structure! Check the newspaper for house

walks and community songfests. Plan your own party. Include those who’ve lost spouses or whose fami-lies are far away. Plan a fun post-holiday activity to look forward to later.

6666 Avoid Family DifferencesAvoid Family DifferencesAvoid Family DifferencesAvoid Family Differences. Heal past hurts through forgive-

ness or “letting go.” Share fun sto-ries of family members now gone. Build an oral history to pass down with love and appreciation.

7777 Help Those Less FortunateHelp Those Less FortunateHelp Those Less FortunateHelp Those Less Fortunate. Visit a nursing home

or help a

8888 Cultivate Spirituality.Cultivate Spirituality.Cultivate Spirituality.Cultivate Spirituality. Recog-nize and explore your spiritual

beliefs during this season. Honor your customs and the beliefs behind them. Share and discuss them with family and friends.

9999 Avoid ExcessesAvoid ExcessesAvoid ExcessesAvoid Excesses. Don’t eat or drink too much. Practice mod-

eration with holiday favorites. Stick with a healthy, high protein diet. Keep your blood sugar stable to avoid mood swings.

11110000 What the EAP Can Do. What the EAP Can Do. What the EAP Can Do. What the EAP Can Do. If these tips don’t help you

feel better about the anticipated stress brought about by the holiday season, the EAP can help. The EAP will help you tackle the holiday blues and the empty feelings that you might be facing during this time of year. You don’t have to suffer in silence or alone. Although you may see and hear the excitement of oth-ers, we know that it may not be that way for you. Together we will help you devise a personal plan to cope with the present. We’ll help you capture the energy and excitement of the future as you face the coming New Year.

— Do you lack a support system to help you thrive instead of just surviving the holidays?

—Will you more likely experience stress and depression rather than a memorable holiday period?

— Does the thought of holiday celebrations and customs make you feel sad instead of excited?

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These ground rules can help prevent negativity:

1. Be polite and professional. Don’t lose credibility with angry, emotional outbursts.

2. Repeat issues for clarifica-

Dealing with Workplace Negativity

What causes workplace negativity? Is it rumors and misinformation or just bad communication? Is it a lack of leadership, or is it too much work and not enough money? Worry about retirement, a lack of challenge, or other turmoil can all contribute to nega-tivity. However, sometimes negativity can be caused by one or two employees who decide to engage in conflict at work. Sort through the sources of discon-tent and explore your options.

Rules for Meetings

Finding Resolution

When you find yourself embroiled in

an unpleasant environment at work, you may be tempted to throw in the towel and leave. How-ever, chances are, you may just run into this problem again in your next job. Bringing coworkers together to find solutions is possible and brings everyone closer. Take responsibility for creating a positive work environ-

Troubled Workplaces

It’s hard to enjoy your job if co-workers constantly complain or are openly hostile to each other. Negativity and infighting drain workplace energy and can lead to employee turnover. Productiv-ity suffers and the downward spi-ral can increase the risk of vio-lence and financial loss. You don’t have to be a victim of work-place negativity.

© 2009 EAPTOOLS.COM E026

If trouble-some rumors persist, sug-

gest a meeting with management to clarify the issues. “Hey guys, let's sit down with manage-ment and see if all these rumors are true.” Get the

What You Can Do

If you tend to be an optimistic employee, workplace negativity can still affect you in ways that you may not like. Negativity is contagious. And long-term exposure to it can take a toll on anyone’s positive attitude. If you reciprocate workplace negativity with others, gossip, or exchange negative comments about your employer with coworkers, it’s time to call the EAP. The EAP will help you stop the downward slide in your morale and your coworker’s, too.

What the EAP Can Do

Sometimes the problem is between coworkers. Personal conflicts developed outside of work creep into the work-place. Coworkers may be asked to take sides. If this hap-pens to you—resist. Suggest an end to the problem and diffuse the situation. “You've been complaining about Marie taking long smoke breaks for two months. Why don’t you talk either to Marie or to the manager?” Use manage-ment resources to intervene with warring coworkers. Al-ways report the potential for violence immediately.

Worker to Worker


Possible

Sample

Short Term ActionsShort Term ActionsShort Term ActionsShort Term Actions

When Organizational Change Affects You

Would You Be Ready?Would You Be Ready?Would You Be Ready?Would You Be Ready?

Why Downsizing HappensWhy Downsizing HappensWhy Downsizing HappensWhy Downsizing Happens


Many companies periodically downsize or lay off employees to reduce the cost of producing goods or services and re-main competitive in the market. Indus-try indicators often point the way to lay-offs. Be aware of the movement and projections for your industry. Layers of an organization or entire departments can be downsized or outsourced to cut costs. Often the affected positions are reinstated within two years, but the company “right-sizes” to realize quick, short-term benefits. Whatever the rea-

turn to drinking or drugs to cope. Ex-plain the situation in matter-of-fact terms to your family and ask for their support. Don’t settle back and take a break with any paid-out vacation time and/or severance pay.

Make Your PitchMake Your PitchMake Your PitchMake Your Pitch


■ Do you have an active network inside and outside your company?

■ Have you considered which new fields or companies you might want to explore?

■ Are you aware of the resources of-fered by your company to find a new position?

■ Have you negoti-

Each workplace has a corporate cul-ture, and downsizing disrupts that cul-ture. Employees can become unproduc-tive, often paralyzed by anxiety. Down-sizing can challenge the loyalty you felt toward your employer, especially if you thought you would be working for the company until you retired. Whatever your situation, keep working steadily while you consider your options. Avoid

How can you turn downsizing into a positive career move?

Effects of DownsizingEffects of DownsizingEffects of DownsizingEffects of Downsizing

Most companies have a set rollout for a downsizing. Communications should be ongoing. If not, you may want to ask management to clarify objectives. What is the process and the timeline? Be mat-ter-of-fact. Avoid anger. If you are stay-ing, remain upbeat, efficient and offer to cover new areas that need attention. However, avoid setting a pattern of overtime that will make you and your family miserable. If you are affected, keep personal spending down. Bank as much back-up funds as possible. Do not

Most jobs are found

through personal networks. Identify your skills and companies that might be interested in your capabilities. What career or company motivates you? Meet people for lunch. Get names of

You will have many questions and con-cerns if downsizing looms. Downsizing offers an opportunity to reevaluate your career path. Would self-employment be a good fit for your skills? Is taking an early retirement an option for you? Choices are often determined by where you are in your career now. Get support and turn to the EAP, if needed. Together you and the EA professional may discover a solution or path that will be just the right one for you. The point is to keep moving.

The EAP Can HelpThe EAP Can HelpThe EAP Can HelpThe EAP Can Help

pointless dis-cussions with cowork-

son, downsizing shakes up the com-pany status quo, forcing employees to reassess their career goals.

Sample


Sexual harassment is a form of sex discrimination that violates Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Not all behavior of a

A Serious Legal InfractionA Serious Legal InfractionA Serious Legal InfractionA Serious Legal Infraction

Your organization’s policy on sexual harassment is your guide on what to do if you face a sexual harassment situation. Follow it first. But if you are unsure of what to do, or just need a confidential, listening ear, the EAP is available. The EAP won’t take the place of human resources or interfere with the organization’s policy. The EAP will help you take the right steps. Are you concerned about your behav-ior, and do you worry about whether you are at risk of being accused of sexual harassment? Do you some-times say or do things accidentally or impulsively that offend others whom you didn’t mean to hurt? The EAP is available to help you be the person you want to be in the workplace.

What the EAP Can DoWhat the EAP Can DoWhat the EAP Can DoWhat the EAP Can Do

The U.S. Equal Employment Oppor-tunity Commission (EEOC) has stated that the behavior must be “sufficiently frequent or severe to cre-ate a hostile work environment or re-sult in a ‘tangible employment ac-tion,’ such as hiring, firing, promo-tion, or demotion.” This statement gives those who feel harassed wide latitude to decide what behavior or act is offensive or unwanted and constitutes harassment. If you are asked by an employee to stop doing something or saying something that is unwanted—stop it immediately. Don’t continue the behavior because you think it is not really sexual har-assment or that the person doesn’t really mean “no.” Don’t let denial, an-ger, or your attraction for a coworker prevent you from accepting what the person is telling you.

Stop ItStop ItStop ItStop It————Don’t Do It AgaiDon’t Do It AgaiDon’t Do It AgaiDon’t Do It Againnnn

It’s Not Your Fault: It’s Not Your Fault: It’s Not Your Fault: It’s Not Your Fault: Frequently victims of sexual harassment feel guilty, ashamed, or in some way responsible for the behavior of the harasser—that they did something to provoke the unwanted behavior by what they said, how they dressed, the tone of voice they used, or what they did not say or do. If you feel harassed, it’s harassment. Ask that the behavior stop. Then expect that to happen. Talk confidentially to someone who can help.

■ The victim does not have to be the opposite sex. ■ The harasser can be a coworker, customer, boss, or nonemployee. ■ The harasser’s behavior must be unwelcomed. ■ Your employer does not want you to be sexually harassed. There is a vital interest and obligation to ensure that it does not happen or stops. ■ Employees who feel harassed have an obligation to communicate that they want the behavior to stop. Em-ployers have policies that guide em-ployees in how to do it. The promise of no retaliation is a vital part of it.

Some Key PointsSome Key PointsSome Key PointsSome Key Points

This information is not intended to replace your organization’s existing policy on sexual harassment. It does not constitute legal advice. It is for general informational purposes only. Please consult your human resources department or EAP for advice about any personal concern.

U nwelcome sexual advances, requests for

sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitutes sexual harassment when submission to or rejection of this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an Individual’s employment; unreasonably interferes with an individual’s work performance; or creates an intimidating, hostile, or offensive work environment.

“

Definition of Sexual Harassment, U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission

Everyone Has a RoleEveryone Has a RoleEveryone Has a RoleEveryone Has a Role

Preventing and Stopping

Sexual Harassment “

?

You can help yourself, coworkers, and your organization to maintain a safe and supportive work environ-ment by knowing and following your organization’s anti-sexual harass-

ment pol-

Sample

“Career experts say your “Career experts say your “Career experts say your “Career experts say your relationship with your boss can relationship with your boss can relationship with your boss can relationship with your boss can impact your career and your impact your career and your impact your career and your impact your career and your emotional wellemotional wellemotional wellemotional well----beingbeingbeingbeing————on and off on and off on and off on and off the job. Ithe job. Ithe job. Ithe job. It’s true.”t’s true.”t’s true.”t’s true.”

While a good relationship with your boss can improve your workplace efficiency and career growth, a poor relationship may impair your long-term ability to succeed. Fortunately, there are some strategies that you can adopt to ensure positive and productive relationships with those who direct your work.

Why Problems OccurWhy Problems OccurWhy Problems OccurWhy Problems Occur When you are not communicating well with your supervisor, you may grow increasingly

Common Problems between Common Problems between Common Problems between Common Problems between Supervisors and SuperviseesSupervisors and SuperviseesSupervisors and SuperviseesSupervisors and Supervisees Although every person is unique, few problems encountered at work are truly unique. Communication difficulties often top the list of problems employees have with their bosses. Other common problems that appear in relationships with supervisors include:

The EAP can offer you confidential support and help you evaluate your relationship with the boss. The EAP can help you discover the barriers to better communication so you can get past them. The EAP can also listen objectively, give you feedback to help you make better judgments about you role, and validate your ideas and impressions. You may be right in many of your perceptions. With this awareness, however, you will be able to take the best steps forward to improve your workplace relationships.

What the EAP Can Do

Improving Your Relationship with the Boss


© 2009 WorkExcel.com E029

To decide what problems may exist in your relationship, ask: “What does my boss expect from me?” and “What are my boss’s objectives compared to my own?” Then find out what steps you need to take to achieve a strong and productive relationship.

▪ Disparities in the amount of work assigned to employees ▪ Minimal praise or no recognition for a job well done ▪ Dissatisfaction with pay and refusal to address it ▪ Personality style and performance style differences ▪ Minimal or no constructive feedback about performance

The Relationship FixThe Relationship FixThe Relationship FixThe Relationship Fix----up Meetingup Meetingup Meetingup Meeting

• Prior to meeting with your boss, de-

fine the real issue that is creating problems in your relation-ship. Consider whether you played a role. Did communication is-sues play a role?

• Write down your concerns. Forget the small and petty stuff for now.

• Meet with your supervisor and explain in plain, unemotional lan-

guage your observations and concerns about the relationship. • Be positive in your energy and demeanor—not cocky, passive ag-

gressive, or acting as if you are cornering your boss. • Wait for your supervisor’s response. He or she may agree or may

have another opinion. Hang on every word. Do not be defensive. • Own your “half” of the relationship problem. It is unlikely you will

get very far if you don’t accept the universal principle that each party in conflict plays a role in contributing to relationship problems.

• Your goal is an improved relationship, not to find fault.

• Ask for constructive feedback on your performance. Let your boss

have the last word in this conversation.

Analyzing Your Conflicts …

Dos and Don’ts

WWWWhen you ehen you ehen you ehen you ex-x-x-x-

When having trouble working with your boss, When having trouble working with your boss, When having trouble working with your boss, When having trouble working with your boss, DON’TDON’TDON’TDON’T:::: • Jump to conclusions • Suspect your boss of plotting against you • Make unfounded accusations based on supposition rather

than facts • Speak while angry • Remain in denial and avoid your boss

Sample

safety of the absent parent, it can also be helpful to stress that the parent has been properly trained for this mission. Point out that the child can help by doing well in school. Enlist teachers’ aid in recognizing any changes in children’s behavior so that potential problems can be promptly addressed.

7777 Importance of Self Importance of Self Importance of Self Importance of Self----Care. Care. Care. Care. Help your

family by taking good care of

yourself. Not sleeping? No appetite? Be vigilant and discuss any variations with your doctor. Get regular exercise and leave time for recreational activities with friends and family. Sharing time with other families can reduce stress and de-velop a sense of togetherness and pur-pose. After all, you have a great reason to be proud!

8888 Plan the Homecoming. Plan the Homecoming. Plan the Homecoming. Plan the Homecoming. When your loved one returns, don’t

expect everything to revert to how it was before deployment. The soldier may need time to decompress and so will you! Be sensitive about reassigning roles too quickly. Avoid persistent questions about the war experience. This is the time to carefully bring the family together in a spirit of renewed love and

1111 Before Deployment. Before Deployment. Before Deployment. Before Deployment. Al-though you may be eager to

have family projects completed before deployment, the service member may be preoccupied and “mission focused.” Limit “to-do”

WorkExcel.com © 2009 E030

Military Military Military Military Deployment StressDeployment StressDeployment StressDeployment Stress

You Can Win the MDS WaYou Can Win the MDS WaYou Can Win the MDS WaYou Can Win the MDS Warrrr While deployed soldiers take up the duty of actively defending their country, their loved ones at home are dealing with their own challenges. Military de-ployment stress (MDS) affects active reservists and military personnel as well as those back home. However, MDS can be successfully managed through education and preparation.

Fight for the Home Front Fight for the Home Front Fight for the Home Front Fight for the Home Front By preparing for departure and your time apart, you will bet-ter deal

The Home Front StrategThe Home Front StrategThe Home Front StrategThe Home Front Strategyyyy

lists. Honor the necessary preparation. Don’t take detachment personally. Be supportive and positive as you prepare the family for time apart.

2222 Communication Is Key. Communication Is Key. Communication Is Key. Communication Is Key. Determine what type of communication will be

effective during the absence. Letters, e-mails, telephone calls, and care packages can help keep you connected. Contact your telephone carrier for military overseas discounts. Stay in touch with your local base command, and join a phone tree or e-mail list, if available.

3 Familiar Routines. Familiar Routines. Familiar Routines. Familiar Routines. Family routines can provide much-needed structure

for the family. Understand that you may be filling two roles during deployment, and realize that this is temporary. Discuss responsibilities with the entire family.

4444 Dealing with Emotional Issues. Dealing with Emotional Issues. Dealing with Emotional Issues. Dealing with Emotional Issues. Recognize unusual tension, angry

outbursts, or withdrawal for what they are–military deployment stress. Stop and identify the issue and possible solutions. Don’t hesitate to seek support from family, workplace, or community resources.

5555 Limit Media Information. Limit Media Information. Limit Media Information. Limit Media Information. Of course you are eager for news about your

loved one. However, too much media exposure can worsen MDS. Use good judgment, especially with children, in de-termining how much TV is allowed.

6666 Dealing with Children. Dealing with Children. Dealing with Children. Dealing with Children. While chil-dren may be anxious about the


How well will you and your family cope

during your loved one’s military deploy-ment? If you answer “no” to any of the following questions, you may benefit from the steps we provide later.

Ten Steps to Win the Battle

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