Work-Life Balance for Men:Counseling Implications

Received 01/30/12Revised 10/25/12

Accepted 01/01/13DOI: 10.1002/j.1556-6676.2013.00115.x

Amanda M. Evans, Jamie S. Carney, and Morgan Wilkinson

• T f i e authors describe tfie application of effective counseling interventions in the context of providing counseling tomen who experience work-life balance issues. A theoretical framework for understanding work-life balance amongmen is considered. Treafing work-life balance difficulties in session with male clients is presented. Specific fypes offreafment interventions and strategies are presented.

Keywords: work-life balance, men in counseling

There is clear evidence that men underutilize counselingservices for mental health issues (Schaub & Williams, 2007).The reasons for this are complicated and intertwined withpersonal, social, and cultural values and beliefs (Grant &Potenza, 2007; Meth, Pasick, Gordon, Allen, Feidman, &Gordon, 1990). It is believed that men's underutilization ofcounseling may be based, in part, on men's perception of thecounseling process and the belief that expression of emotionalor psychological distress is negative and does not fit sociallysanctioned ideals of male behavior (Aldoory, Jiang, Toth, &Sha, 2008; Cochran & Rabinowtiz, 2000). These constraints,experienced by both men and women, can be rigid, difficultto manage, and may result in distress across all aspects of anindividual's life (Cochran & Rabinowitz, 2000). The sti-essis intensified when one's personal needs and beliefs directlycontradict or are challenged by these cultural and perceivedsocial expectations and stereotypes (O'Neil, Good, & Holmes,1995). One area where men may experience such stress is inthe process of attempting to balance careers, families, per-sonal lives, and relationships (Aumann, Galinsky, & Matos,2011; Duckworth & Buzzanell, 2009; Perrone, Wright, &Jackson, 2009). Work-life balance can be a process of findingpersonal meaning and satisfaction across multiple roles andaspects of one's life. There is an imperative that counselorsbegin to view this process from the male perspective andidentify counseling techniques to assist men in exploring,addressing, and working toward their own conceptualizationof work-life balance.

Balancing work life with personal life appears to be analmost universal struggle. It is embodied in varying degreesand ways among both men and women. The process of at-tempting to balance the demands and expectations of one'scareer, personal life, interpersonal relationships, partnerships,and family has been explored extensively over the last decade(Emslie & Hunt, 2009; Perrone et al., 2009). However, themajority of research has focused on women (Burke, 2000).Research has clearly illustrated that, for many women, thisprocess of balancing can be psychologically, physically, and

personally debilitating (Aumann et al., 2011). Althoughresearch in the area of work-life balance has historically fo-cused on women, there are clear indications that this is also asignificant and critical issue for men. A study commissionedby the Families and Work Institute revealed that men may nowexperience more work-family conftict than women experi-ence (Aumann et al., 2011). There is currently a paucity ofresearch fully exploring work-life balance among men as wellas appropriate counseling strategies and methods to addressthis issue. In this article, we explore the concept of work-lifebalance for men and describe a counseling framework fortreating these issues.

•Work-Life BalanceThe firsf step in discussing work-life balance is the consider-ation of how work-life balance is defined. Several researchershave attempted to define work-life balance, primarily focus-ing on a process of attempting to balance the multidimensionsof work or career with other personal dimensions that includefamily, partners, and other relationships or interests. This issimilar to the concept of role overload, which emphasizes theproblem of limited time and resources to manage multipleroles (Higgins, Duxbury, & Lyons, 2010). Reiter (2007) hassuggested that most definitions of work-life balance are eithersituational or absolute. An example of an absolutist concep-tualization of work-life balance is provided by Greenhaus,Collins, and Shaw (2003). In their model, work-life balanceincludes time balance, involvement balance, and satisfactionbalance. Thus, work-life balance is successfully attainedwhen individuals are equally engaged and satisfied acrosstheir work and life roles.

Recently, models of work-life balance have focused onthe situational definitions of work-life balance (Reiter, 2007).These models emphasize an individual's conceptualizationof work-life balance, incorporating differences in personalvalues and meaning as these relate to obtaining a level of bal-ance that an individual finds meaningful. In these instances.

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Amanda M. Evans, Jamie S. Carney, and Morgan Wilkinson, Special Education, Rehabilitation and Counseling Department,Auburn University. Morgan Wilkinson is now at Counseling and Human Services Department, Geneva College. Correspondenceconcerning this article should be addressed to Amanda M. Evans, Special Education, Rehabilitation and Counseling Department,Auburn University, 2068 Haley Center, Auburn, AL 3684-5222 (e-mail: amt0004@auburn.edu).

© 2013 by the American Counseling Association. All rights reserved.

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the individual obtains a work-life balance in which she orhe is satisfied with the level of contribution or fianctioningacross work and personal domains. It is not simply a processof completing tasks or focusing on time allotment. Instead,a situational definition of work-life balance focuses on anindividual defining balance and engagement, across roles, ina way that is meaningful to her or him (APA, 2004; Reiter,2007). Research has suggested that career and family rolesprovide the highest amoimt of sfrain and conflict in findingmeaningful balance (Frone, Russell, & Cooper, 1997; Frone,2000). However, men also desire balance that incorporatesother dimensions of their lives, including religious and vol-unteer time (Duckworth & Buzzanell, 2009).

• M e n and Work-Life BalanceAlthough work-life balance fraditionally has been studied inrelation to women attempting to find balance between workand family commitments, there is clear evidence that men mayalso experience such conflict (Aumann et al., 2011; Hahynjo,2009; Higgins et al., 2010). A component of this conflict is that,fraditionally, men have been reinforced to focus on their workor careers as a cenfral component of their identity (Cochran& Rabinowski, 2000; Grant & Potenza, 2007; Wexler, 2009).For men, achievement and success in one's career was oftensocially and culturally valued over family time commitments(Cochran & Rabinowski, 2000). Recently, however, there hasbeen a shift in these dynamics. Economically, there has been asignificant increase in dual-eamer families, requiring shifts inparental, household, and partnership responsibilities for bothmen and women (Higgins et al., 2010). In addition, economicchanges have resulted in some men fransitioning away fromtheir primary area of employment, working part-time, or be-ing under- or unemployed (Sobiraj, Korek, Weseler, & Mohr,2011). This has resulted in parents needing to make altemativedecisions about work and family roles and responsibilities. Thiscritical shift in economic and sociopolitical variables parallelsan increase in the number of men reporting a desire to be moreactively engaged in family roles and child rearing (Duckworth&Buzzanell, 2009).

For many men, the desire to be more engaged in theirpersonal and family life is met with incompatible professionaland career expectations. For some men, this also becomes aprocess of balancing this desire with societal expectationsthat their principal role in the family is as financial provider(Halrynjo, 2009). This may in part belie the reason that menwith children actually work more hours than men withoutchildren (Lundberg & Rose, 2002; Percheski & Wildeman,2008). Aumarm et al. (2011) emphasized that, for many men,there is a desire to work fewer hotxrs and spend more time withtheir families; however, there remains an overwhelming soci-etal pressure to focus instead on their financial contributions.This conflict between professional and personal responsibili-ties may result in some men feeling a sense of role overload

or sfress. Men's socialization to focus on their career rolesmay mean that, for some men, as their family responsibilitieschange or increase, they are actually more likely to cope byincreasing their hours at work (Higgins et al, 2010).

Halrynjo (2009) suggested that, for many men, the processof work-life balance follows four common positions: (a) career,(b) care, (c) career and care, and (d) patchwork. The careerposition is primarily focused on the fraditional idea that menshould focus on their careers and that family and householdresponsibilities belong to women. This compares to men in thecare position who have more domestic or child-care respon-sibilities. Men in this pattem report being quite satisfied withwork and home life (Osterman, 1995). In the career and careposition, men report an equal emphasis in both their familyand career roles. Men in this pattem can experience the highestlevels of sfress in managing these demands (Hahynjo, 2009).The final position, the patchwork position, includes men whowork in freelancing or part-time jobs.

Achieving work-life balance has been shown to have ben-efits for men. Having higher levels of work-life balance hasbeen associated with more positive attitudes and increasedwork performance among men (Perrone et al., 2009). Menwho reported making a higher investment in family roles,as part of this balance, also reported a higher quality of life(Aumann et al., 2011; Greenhaus et al., 2003). In addition,men who worked in employment environments that theyperceived as supportive of work-life balance reported moreenjoyment in their jobs, greater career satisfaction, and greatersatisfaction with fnends and community commitment (Burke,2000). An important consideration for counselors in workingwith work-life balance issues for men is that men may defineor conceptualize this balance in ways that are different fromwomen's conceptualization (Duckworth & Buzzanell, 2009).The goal may not be an equal balance of time, but a more in-dividualized balance across roles in ways that are meaningfulto them (APA, 2004; Reiter, 2007). However, there is currentlya paucity of research on counseling models or sfrategies tohelp men identify, address, or process work-life balance. Animportant first step is considering counseling methods thatmay be applied to meeting this goal.

iCounseling ImplicationsAn important consideration for counseling men on work-lifebalance issues is that, because men have been socializedto maintain autonomous, action-oriented, self-regulated,and achievement-based identities, they may find balancingrelational and nurturing responsibilities a complex processbecause there are few intemal resources for men if they donot attain success (Cochran & Rabinowski, 2000). "Believ-ing they have more confrol than they actually do, many menfind that when life events do not go their way, they are goodat compensating behaviorally but poorly equipped emotion-ally to absorb the blow" (Cochran & Rabinowski, 2000, p.

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57). When men are confronted with difficulties, previouslyreinforced characteristics (e.g., independence, emotionalresfraint), sometimes cause them to expedence disfress andpsychological impairment; despite this, men underutilizecounseling services for mental health issues (Schaub & Wil-liams, 2007). This may be related, in part, to men's socializa-tion, perceptions of the counseling process, and counselors'training to work with male clients (Schaub & Williams, 2007).

It important to explore not only the client's perceptionand satisfaction with work-life balance, it is also importantthat counselors refiect on their own biases regarding men andwork-life balance (Dienhart & Avis, 1994; Wisch & Mahalik,1999). Research studies on female therapists indicated thatthese individuals expedenced negative attitudes toward maleclients, specifically when the male client did not associatewith traditional gender stereotypes (Dienhart & Avis, 1994;Lander & Nahon, 2008; Robertson & Fitzgerald, 1990).It is recommended that counselors integrate and practiceinterventions that consider men's socialized strengths ratherthan limitations by incorporating expedential, supportive,semistructured, client-led interventions.

•integrity Model:Addressing Work-Life Balance for Men

According to the Integdty Model, a psychotherapy approachthat draws on existential-humanistic philosophies, a client'sfeelings of dissatisfaction are a result of interpersonal versusintrapersonal confiict (Nahon & Lander, 2008). Integrity,a virtue often associated with men, focuses on the client'sability to live honestly through authentic living. On the basisof this view, the model has been applied to other counsel-ing issues for men, such as divorce and marital separadon(Nahon & Lander, 2008). This model can provide a strongfoundation for helping men examine what work-life bal-ance means to them and provide a counseling foundationfor addressing issues related to achieving this balance. TheIntegdty Model uses a three-stage framework and evaluatesthe client's distress as an imbalance of honesty, responsibil-ity, or emotional closure (Nahon & Lander, 2008, p. 220). Animbalance across the three constructs can cause individualsnot to be authentic with themselves and expedence diffi-culties balancing responsibilities, and promotes emotionalrestrictiveness. This can clearly be refiected in a sense ofimbalance in the important roles of one's life. The IntegrityModel-because of its egalitadan assumptions, focus on per-sonal fulfillment, and focus on fiexible emotions—is usefulfor counselors who work with men experiencing work-lifebalance difficulties. Applying this model to addressingwork-life balance, we reconmiend that counselors concep-tualize counseling for male clients, expedencing difficultieswith work-life balance, in a framework that incorporatesself, work-life balance, and community.

Honesty/Self Stage

Honesty, the first stage in the Integdty Model, is focused onhelping individuals expedence truthfulness in past, present,and fiiture expedences (Nahon & Lander, 2008). A goal atthis stage for addressing work-life balance problems amongmen is helping men explore how this imbalance developed,what beliefs maintain the imbalance, and what would be ameaningfiil balance. The counselor can use questions thatencourage self-exploration, including a focus on why the cli-ent has selected therapy and where the client draws meaning.These questions can be processed in relation to the aspects ofwork-life balance that the client identifies as important. Thismay include what it is like to be a father, employee, partner,fdend; what the client's satisfaction is with her or his presentcircxmistances; what the client wishes for; how the client canachieve her or his life's desires; and how the client can knowwhen he is being honest with himself about these aspects.These questions may help the client explore and idendfythe issues that are most important in addressing work-lifebalance stress. Counselors may also consider integratingexpedential interventions, such as collective memory andnarrative therapy, to expand this personal exploration. Theseinterventions may assist the counselor in processing thiscontent in a less invasive marmer.

Collective memory

Collective memory encourages clients who are not comfort-able discussing personal emotions to explore their self-inter-nalizations using neutral memodes (Kivel & Johnson, 2009).This approach can assist clients in explodng the incongru-ence between their memodes of employment expectations,intimate relationships, parenthood, and personal satisfacdon,while promoting the exploration of identity, relationship, andwork-life balance.

Collective memory exercises use a semistructured, client-led, interactive interview technique that is focused on theclient's use of language and how this has infiuenced identity,meaning making, and memodes (Kivel & Johnson, 2009).With this technique, the client recalls her or his story for thecounselor who then assists the client in analyzing the recol-lections to identify cultural messages and infiuences. Forexample, in session, a client may be prompted to reflect on afavodte fatherlike television character (e.g.. Homer Simpson)from childhood. Throughout this reflective interview, theclient might discuss how this character influenced identitydevelopment, impression of fatherhood, and association ofmanhood, as these relate to work-life balance. Moving fromreflection to analyzing, the counselor could request additionalinformation from the client regarding the messages theyreceived from their family and peers based on this character.These messages may have significantly confributed to theclient's conceptualization of work-life balance and createstress between the client's expectations and embedded ideals

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from others. In this process, clinicians need to be mindful thatalthough the client's recollections may be misremembered orexaggerated, extracting the exact truth is not always necessary;thus, the counselor should look for the truth in the client'sstatements (Glover, 2004). These statements can provideinsight into the client's perception of these factors and howit is reflected in the challenges the individual experiencesin obtaining balance. Overall, the objective of a collectivememory exercise is to enhance the client's understanding ofhow social, family, and media messages influenced early andoften maintained associations of work-life balance.

Narrative Therapy

Narrative therapy can also be used to meet the goals of thehonesty stage of the Integrity Model. This expressive coun-seling method is client-centered and uses interventions thatempower the client to explore his identity from multipleperspectives and incorporate shifting or changing goals re-lated to work-life balance (Brown & Augusta-Scott, 2007).In narrative therapy, clients can externalize their feelings as"alternative" beings in the counseling room. This approachmay be more comfortable for men who are emotionally re-sistant or experience discomfort revealing emotions becausethe emotion can then became another entity in the room. Itmay also help them explore family and personal relationshipdynamics from multiple perspectives.

Questions such as, "So, has the pressure to get a promo-tion fried to bully you," or "Is the fear keeping you fromperforming well as a father?" may be used to address theemotional content that the client is experiencing withoutspecifically focusing on personalized emotional regulation(Evans, Shuda, & Belknap, 2011). This personification of theproblem permits the client and counselor to work togetheragainst the issue(s). A teamwork approach, of counselor andclient, may effectively assist male clients who are more com-fortable with externalizing difïiculties and prefer autonomousproblem-solving approaches. Some approaches to identify-ing the problem include writing down the problem, drawingthe problem, and introducing an extra seat in the room forthe problem to sit. This process may help clients to begin toidentify the specific aspects of their lives, in their careers orpersonal lives, that are creating the greatest challenges. Afterthese issue(s) have been identified, the client can then beginto explore possible excuses or previously used justificationsthat have prevented the client from addressing these issuesand achieving a level of satisfaction with the balance in hislife (Brown & Augusta-Scott, 2007; Morgan, 2000).

Overall, narrative therapy encourages the "reauthoring" ofthe client's identity and the redevelopment of new perspec-tives. These perspectives can incorporate how the client maywant to direct his energy, time, and personal commitmentto aspects of his life. This approach can also encourageclient-led initiatives to focus on problem identification and

promote personal empowerment. Furthermore, incorporat-ing collective memory and narrative therapy techniques inthe honesty stage can promote the establishment of a strongtherapeutic relationship, trust, and an awareness of work-lifebalance difficulties. This provides a foundation for the clientto begin addressing the issues or concerns that have beenchallenging with regard to obtaining a personally meaningfullevel of balance.

•Responsibility StageThe second stage in the Integrity Model, responsibility, ex-amines the multiple roles the client embodies using a moreconcrete and applied focus. In this stage, individualizedproblem-solving interventions can be introduced to help theclient begin to deal with the specific dimensions of work-lifebalance that he has identified as critical. In essence, it helpsbreak dovra these challenges into workable components. Thestage is often heavily focused on the development of skills toaddress challenges (Nahon & Lander, 2008). This can includethe use of time charts that encourage the client to identify howhis time is allocated each day between multiple responsibili-ties. The counselor may also work on infroducing effectivecommunication strategies to promote improved communica-tion at work and in personal relationships. These skills canprovide the tools for negotiating or discussing issues that arepreventing balance. This may include work-specific skills andresources to deal with office politics, communication withemployers, and bargaining skills. Moreover, the counselorcan help the client develop other skills that focus on locatingcommunity resources to assist with daily tasks (e.g., babysit-ting services, date night activities) and developing self-caretechniques. This method can be used to identify imbalances;perhaps by externalizing the issues, the client can attack theproblem from an achievement-oriented, problem-solvingperspective. Finally, the strategies in this stage encourage theclient to work with the counselor in an equal relationship thatcan use the client's strengths and emphasize empowermentand responsibility.

•Emotional Closure/CommunityThe third and final stage, emotional closure, occurs when theclient has engaged in an honest dialogue with himself and iden-tified potential problem-solving techniques to assist in reducingthe distress associated with balancing multiple roles. This stageis focused on emotional control rather than disclosure. Byfocusing on the client's emotional control, the counselor canassist him in examining interpersonal exchange to "increaseone's sense of community with the others" (Lander & Nahon,2008, p. 144). As previously noted, one factor that mightdiscourage male clients from seeking therapy is counseling'semphasis on emotions. Thus, in an effort to join with the client,at the expense of traditional therapy methods, the counselor and

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client can assess the client's sense of meaning (i.e., purpose)and work-life responsibilities as an opportunity to increase thecounselor's understanding of the client's worldview. This canbe done without specifically requesting emotional content. Thisless evasive approach may encourage disclosure.

Ultimately, this stage is the action-oriented phase whereinthe client applies the skills identified and developed in theresponsibility stage with the self-awareness developed in thehonesty stage. It is the objective of this stage to pair theseprocesses, leading to a more authentic sense of meaning inwork-life balance and the actions to make this balance moreof a reality. This stage is offen focused on increasing com-munity (i.e., support) so that the client can engage in a self-directed examination of relationships in his life and the impactof these relationships on work-life balance responsibilities.Moreover, in this stage, the counselor and the client can re-view the multiple systems that the individual interacts withon a regular basis to evaluate all the people, responsibilities,and roles he maintains. This stage examines the applicationof problem-solving approaches within the multiple systemsand roles that the client balances. Interventions to promoteclient action-oriented decision making include introducingcost-benefit analysis activities, effectively managing changewithin a system (i.e., preventing homeostasis), developingsupportive coping resources if the client notices that he isagain experiencing work-life balance difficulties, and pri-oritizing self-care. Instead of pursuing emotional discourse,the emotional confrol concept of this stage examines the bigpicture of work-life balance and promotes the client's appli-cation of activity-oriented skills. This has been done withina counseling relationship that emphasizes building off thesfrengths of the client without challenging socially identi-fied limitations. Thus, the focus in counseling remains onthe client establishing a work-life balance that has meaningto him and is conceptualized in counseling in a manner thatincorporates this meaning.

•ConclusionIn summary, achieving a sense of work-life balance is bothphysically and psychologically necessary to promote lifesatisfaction, Wellness, and occupational success (Fenwick &Tausig, 2001). In this article, we examined men who werein counseling for work-life balance concerns. An essentialelement of this process is to first conceptualize that work-lifebalance issues are relevant and highly important to men.These issues are often characterized by countering demands,expectations, and personal values. Complicating this for manymen are societal and personal expectations about career,relationships, and their roles within their families.

For men, as for many women, work-life balance is anindividualized dynamic. It is critical for counselors to helpmale clients conceptualize and establish a sense of balancethat is meaningfiil to them.

The Integrity Model (Lander & Nahon, 2008) provides aframework for counselors to help male clients work towardthis goal. This model uses a framework of honesty, respon-sibility, and emotional control to sfructure sessions. Thesestages are used to help male clients explore what work-lifebalance means to them, what contributes to this imbalance,and what a meaningful balance includes. Furthermore, theresponsibility stage helps the client develop the skills to ad-dress the stress, challenges, and concerns of work-life bal-ance. Finally, the model attempts to integrate these aspects tohelp the male client work toward obtaining a level of balancethat is meaningful to him.

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