Bullying/Harassmentand Your

ESE StudentOctober 2011

Presented by SEDNET 7B

What is Bullying?

• The behavior hurts or harms another person physically or emotionally over a period of time. ( R = Repeated)

• It is intentional. ( I = Intentional)

• The targets have difficulty stopping the behaviordirected at them and struggle to defend themselves. ( P = Power over)

RIP

• Race• Color• National 0rigin• Sex• Disability• Religion

It Becomes Harassment if the RIP Behavior Targets:

Unwelcome conduct such as:

• Verbal abuse (name-calling, epithets, slurs)

• Graphic or written statements

• Threats

• Physical assault

• Other conduct that may be physically threatening, harmful, or humiliating

Harassment Behaviors

What Bullying is NOT:What Bullying is NOT:

Mild teasingConflictFightingRejectionRandom acts of violence

Think About…

Bully Proofing versus Victim ProofingBully Proofing versus Victim Proofing

Bully Proofing

Victims rely on parents, school staff and student bystanders to protect them.

Parent/staff creates a victim mentality.

Punishing the bullies only makes them more angry or vengeful.

Victim Proofing

Victims learn to solve problems on their own.

Gets rid of victim mentality

Defuses bullying so there is no retaliation

Information on the Following Slides Obtained From:

ALLIANCE for Parent Centers, Technical Assistance

ALLIANCE for Parent Centers, a Project of PACER

Center, Inc. PACER Center, Inc. Copyright 2003 PACER Center, Inc. 8161 Normandale Blvd.,

Bloomington, MN 55437.

www.pacerteensagainstbullying.org

Types of VictimsTypes of Victims

• Passive (perceived as weak)Passive (perceived as weak)

• Special needs Special needs

• Provocative: Evokes negative Provocative: Evokes negative feelings in everyone, lacks social feelings in everyone, lacks social sense, has irritating or nasty sense, has irritating or nasty habits, blurts outhabits, blurts out

• Did the child hurt you on purpose?

• Was it done more than once?

• Did it make you feel (think) bad or angry? or How do you feel (think) about the

behavior?

Parents Can Help their Child Recognize Bullying/Non-Bullying Behavior

The following questions may be helpful:

• Did the child know you were being hurt?

• Is the other child more powerful (i.e. bigger, scarier) than you in some way?

(Adapted from Our Child: Bully or Victim, Peter Sheras, Ph.D., 2002)

• How was the bus ride today?

• Who did you sit by at lunch?

• I notice that you seem to be feeling sick a lot and wanting to stay home. Please tell me about that.

• Are kids making fun of you?

• Are there a lot of cliques at school? What do you think about them?

• Has anyone touched you in a way that did not feel right?

Variations of These Questionsfor the Child who is Reluctant to Talk

• Read stories with your child about bullying situations.

• Talk about recent events in the news.

• Discuss bullying incidents on TV or in a movie.

Other Options for Helping your Child Discuss Bullying/Non-Bullying

3 Steps to Take if your Child is Targeted by Bullying Behaviors at

School

1.Work with your child

2.Work with the school

3.Work with the administration

• Who is doing the behavior that is causing you the problem?

• What happened? Verbal Physical Emotional Cyber-bullying (Meet directly with the principal.)

Work With Your Child

Talk with your child about the specifics of the situation:

• What day and time did it happen?

• Where did it take place?

• How did you respond to this behavior?

• Did other children or adults observe the situation?

• Do you know the names of these people?

• Practice possible ways for your child to respond to bullying.

• Tell school staff (teacher, principal, other staff).

• Keep a written record of this information.

• If it is bullying, make and turn in a written report.

• If needed, go to step two.

Other Ideas:

• Discuss what is happening to your child using information from step one.

• Mention how the situation is impacting your child.

• Ask what can be done so your child feels safe.

Work With The School

Meet with Your Child’s Teacher

• Set clear expectations.

• Focus on desired positive behaviors.

• Do not waste time identifying the underlying causes of the bullying behavior.

• If needed, request a meeting to review the IEP and/or behavior plan.

Take a Problem-Solving Approach

• Develop goals, benchmarks, short-term objectives.

• Identify supplementary services, program modifications or supports to help

prevent and intervene against bullying and to victim proof your child.

The IEP Team can Work Together to:

Include the child in the decision-making to improve the likelihood of the child

meeting his or her IEP goals.

• Improve social skills such as sharing, taking turns, or thinking before acting.

• Develop ability to carry on a 2-way conversation.

• Identify social norms for the child who does not recognize them by him or herself.

Possible IEP Goals and Objectives

• Participate in a friendship group to practice social skills with peer under direction of school staff.

• Increase self-advocacy skills so child can say “no” or “stop that”.

• Improve speech intelligibility so child can interact with peers.

• Identify and practice direct and indirect ways to react to, handle, and avoid

bullying behavior.

• Provide hallway or playground monitoring by school staff.

• Allow child to leave class early to avoid hallway incidents.

• Use social stories to help child understand difficult situations when they occur.

Examples of Supplementary Services, Program Modifications, or Supports

• In-service school staff to understand child’s disability and vulnerability.

• In-service classroom peers to help them understand the child’s disability and/or child’s use of assistive technology, paraprofessional, or interpreter (i.e. things that are different) .

• Educate peers about school district policies on bullying behavior.

• Set up “no-questions-asked” procedure for child to remove him or herself from a situation where bullying behavior occurs.

• If needed, go to step three.

• A meeting request

• Your child’s name, age, grade, school

• Your address and phone number

Work With District Administration

Write a Letter or E-Mail to the Area Superintendent to Include:

• Background information on the bullying situation.

• How you have tried to resolve the problem.

• Your times available for a meeting.

• Be brief and factual.

• Send copies of this letter to the principal and the Office of Exception Education Administrative Support Services.

• Keep a copy for yourself.

Other Important Tips:

• Organize your information.

• Write down questions you want to ask.

• Remember to ask what can be done to keep your child safe in school so he/she can learn.

Prepare for this Meeting

• Decide if you want to take someone with you.

• Clarify their role (e.g., take notes, provide support, contribute information about your child).

• Keep a written record of this meeting, includingwho was present, what was discussed, and any decisions made.

In Summary…

:

• Is the behavior misbehavior, bullying or harassment?

• Are you bully proofing or victim proofing?

• What are you doing to help your child?

• Is there a need to approach the teacher?

• Are you going to ask for a meeting to review the IEP and/or behavior plan?

• Are you going to approach the school administration?

• Are you going to approach the area superintendent?

Document!Document!Document!