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House of Hope Freedom Quest

Rejuvenate SeriesSession 1: Conception-

Reclaiming Joy and PassionSession 2: Intra Utero Development-

Reclaiming Peace and SecuritySession 3&4: Birth-Reclaiming Destiny

Session 5&6: Infancy-Reclaiming TrustSession 7: Toddlerhood-Reclaiming

Honor and CertaintySession 8: Childhood-Reclaiming “Goodness”

Disclaimer• This is not an all inclusive

theology class. • This is not the only model of

presenting root issues of wounding that needs healing.

• Is an attempt at presenting a compilation of different ideas in an organized way.

How it works• Monthly teaching on the 4th Sunday

of the month. Interact with others.• Homework suggestions given/posted

on web to go deeper into the material and walk through healing.

• Connect with 1-2 others from the class to keep in touch until the next class. Meet in person or via phone to share and pray with each other. (KEEP SHARINGS CONFIDENTIAL!!!!!).

Quest for Freedom: ReJuvenate!

• Freedom: 1. the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint. 2. Exemption from external control, interference and regulation. 3. Power to determine action without restraint.

• Rejuvenate: To make (someone) feel or look young, healthy, or energetic again. To give new strength or energy to. To restore to an original or new state.

Prenatal Developmental Hurdle

prenatal •(Not in Erickson’s staging) Who am I? What am I doing here/Am I safe? Where am I going?

After birth •How do I get there? (Do I lean on others or myself?)

Erickson’s Developmental Stages

0-2y/o •Basic Trust vs. Mistrust•Can I trust the world/anyone?

2-4y/o •Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt•Is it okay to be me? Do I have autonomy and choice?

4-5y/o •Initiative vs. Guilt•Is what I do okay? Is what I do “good” or “bad”?

5-12y/o •Industry vs Inferiority•How can I make what I do “good” and acceptable?

Erickson’s Developmental Stages13-19y/o •Identity vs Role Confusion

•Who am I? Who do I want to be? Who can I be?

20-39y/o •Intimacy vs Isolation•Can I love/interact with others?

40-64y/o •Generativity vs. Stagnation•Does my life count? Can I make it count?

65y/o-death •Ego integrity vs. Despair•Can I make it in the world?

Based on what we know about life before the fall, which life question did not exist?• Who am I? What am I doing here? Where am I

going?• Can I trust?• Is it okay to be me? Do I have autonomy and

choice?• Is what I do good or bad?• How can I make what I do “good”?• Who am I/Am I a product of the world? Who

can or do I want to be?• Am I can love and interact with others?• Does my life count? Can I make my life count?• At the end of my life, is it okay to have been

me?

What do we know about life before the fall?Which life question did not exist before the fall?

• Who am I? What am I doing here? Where am I going?

• Can I trust? • Is it okay to be me? Do I have autonomy and

choice?• Is what I do good or bad? (There was no

sense of good or bad.)• How can I make what I do “good”?• Who am I/Am I a product of the world? Who can

or do I want to be?• Can I love and interact with others?• Does my life count? Can I make my life count?• At the end of my life, is it okay to have

been me? (There was no death.)

What was the main source for knowledge, wisdom and understanding to answer these questions in God’ original design?

• Who am I? What am I doing here? Where am I going?• Can I trust? (Trust is built on relationship and not

evidence. Confidence and faith is in what is what is not always seen in the natural realm but in what God said.)

• Is it okay to be me? Do I have autonomy and choice?• Who am I/Am I a product of the world? Who can or do

I want to be?• Can I love and interact with others?• Does my life count? Can I make my life count?

GOD

How does God define Goodness?

• He declared it with His voice and not based at all on what we do or do not do. Gen 1

• Clues: What is important to Him?

What is important to God? Original Design and purpose• That we have His authority. Gen 1• To give eternal life. Now this is eternal life: that

they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. John 17:3.

• Co-heirs with Christ, Sonship to share in His Glory. …the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.[f] And by him we cry, “Abba,[g] Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. Rom 8:14-16

• That none shall perish. Each is out of slavery of this dark world.

What is important to God?• Unity with God. I have made you known to them,

and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them. John 17:25

• To love us. 1 Cor 13.. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me… John 17:23

• To be loved by us. First commandment. • Unity with each other. My prayer is … that all of

them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you… I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— 23 I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. John 17:20-23

• To love each other. 2nd commandment.

Satan wants

• His own dominion and was kicked out.

• Our birthright: authority to rule the world. (Genesis 1)

• Cut us off from our source of power so we cannot rule and police his activities.

• Indirectly hurt God by hurting us.

Satan Tactics• To Steal, Kill and Destroy

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. John 10:10• To Accuse

1. Accuse us before God2. Accuse God before us3. Us against each other, 4. Us to ourselves. ***For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night... Rev 12:10• To Deceive

And the great dragon was thrown down, the serpent of old who is called the devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world; he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him. Rev 12:9

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’ ” “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Genesis 3:1-6

What are the entry points of attack?

• Who am I? What am I doing here? Where am I going?

• Can I trust? (Trust is built on relationship and not evidence. Confidence and faith is in what is what is not always seen in the natural realm but in what God said.)

• Is it okay to be me? Do I have autonomy and choice?

• Who am I/Am I a product of the world? Who can or do I want to be?

• Can I love and interact with others?• Does my life count? Can I make my life count?

All of the above!

Gateway to Adam and Eve’s Downfall

Replaced Faith (certain of what we hope for and evidence of what is not seen (a SPIRIT matter) with

Evidence in the flesh(a matter of the SOUL and FLESH) What we do see, hear, touch, smell, taste dictates what is truth.

**The Human Soul usurp information from the Human Spirit** (more on this next time).

Faith and Believe is now evidence based rather than God based

Question• Who am I?

What am I doing here? Where am I going?• Am I a product

of the myself? Who can or do I want to be?• Does my life

count? Can I make my life count?

God says to my spirit

• I am a child of God. I am to rule over the earth just like Him.

• I am made in the image of God. I want to be like my Maker and my Father.

• My life counts because it’s significant to God.

• I am a child of God. I am suppose to rule over the earth like God but I am not God and don’t have the resources He has.

• I am a human, a created being. I want to be like my Maker.

• My life will count more if I did it by myself. He’ll be proud of me.

Fleshly Evidence

Faith and Believe is now evidence based rather than God based

Question• Can I trust? • Is it okay to

be me? Do I have autonomy and choice?

God says• He loves me.

His character is trustworthy. He is out for my good.

• It’s okay to be me. It’s okay to ask questions. I have free choice to follow Him.

• I don’t know if I can trust him. He is withholding something that looks good, feels good and is good for food.

• The evidence is placed before me that I do not have free choice.

Earthly Evidence

Adam and Eve’s Downfall Gateway is passed down to us. • Replaced Faith (a Spirit matter) with evidence

in the flesh (a Soul/Flesh matter). No evidence = foolish faith.

• We answer the life questions based on the earthly evidence through our Body, Mind and Emotions. How God defines things have little relevance.

1. What socio-eco environment were be born into, what physical characteristics I have = how much I, others, God loves me.

2. What is materially available to us. What I have = how important I am.

3. How people treat me = how much I’m worth. 4. I’ll believe it when I see evidence of it. Words,

feelings have little value.

Adam and Eve’s Downfall Gateway is passed down to us. • Replaced Faith (a Spirit matter) with evidence in the

flesh (a Soul/Flesh matter). No evidence = foolish faith.

• We answer life questions based on the flesh.

• Replace the peace and protection of God the King Judge with

1. Work of a judge. (I am now the lawmaker, enforcer and executioner of judgment).

2. Self’s knowledge of good and evil. Good and evil’s definition is relative according to each individual’s knowledge and conviction.

3. Good and evil is evidence based not God defined.

We become judges based on the Knowledge of Good and Evil

Introduced these questions:• Is what I do good or bad? • How can I make what I do “good”?• At the end of my life, is it okay to

have been me? (There was no death.)

The answers to these questions are bound by fleshly evidence one has.

Erickson’s Developmental Stages

4-5y/o

• Initiative vs. Guilt• Is what I do good or bad?

5-12y/o

• Industry vs Inferiority• Can I make what I do good and

acceptable?

Brain Facts

Trillions brain cells at birth are mostly not connected well. As an adult we have about 100 billion neurons. So there is a trimming process.Brain size at birth is 25% of adult size. Grows to 50% at 9months, 60% at 1 year, 90% at age 3. (80% of total brain growth would have taken place by age 2, especially growth in the myelination (increasing speed of condition) and cortex (thinking portion)

Human Limbic System: Border Structures that supports adrenaline flow, emotional behavior, motivation, long term memory.

Main players:AMYGDALAHIPPOCAMPUSCINGULATE GYRUSAssociated structures: THALAMUSHYPOTHALAMUSPITUITARY GLAND

Cortex develop later than the subcortical limbic structures.

Neuro Changes•Myelination (insulates

the nerves cells for quicker conduction)•Creation/strengthening

of synapses. 100,000 synapses are formed per second in the early life through stimulation and interaction with the physical world. •Apoptosis (trimming of

obsolete synapses)

PathwaysRepetitive use creates a path

Conversely, what you

don’t use gets replaced.

• Also know as Hebb’s Postulate When an axon of cell A is near enough to excite a cell B and repeatedly or persistently takes part in firing it, some growth process or metabolic change takes place in one or both cells such that A's efficiency, as one of the cells firing B, is increased.

• Cells that fire together get wired together.

Freud’s Law of Association by Simultaneity

What are the developing pathways?• Survival Fight/Flight responses:

This really start prenatal (refer to the prenatal series

• Fight Flight Mechanism: Essential for survival from danger and pain.

• Amygdala

Asks:

1. Arousing (exciting, intense) or Neutral ?

2. Good or Bad?

Amygdala

Hippocampus Remember this

Respond: Fight or

Flight, no other

options

What’s involved in the middle processing?

•Survival Fight/Flight responses: This really start prenatal (refer to the prenatal series

Long loop: After birth amygdala has more information to draw from: sound, facial expression, physical proximity.

Starts to imprint by learning about own emotions by drawing on others’ expressions. Mirror neurons.

•The brain, is a massive computer and much of the circuits it creates is to be more efficient and create short cuts.•Hippocampus carries the

files/sub-files of this is this and that is that and we do this for x and do that for y•Amygdala is the shortcut

on the desk top. Don’t care about sub-files and details. Amygdala likes to generalize. Responses there for is generalized.

Childhood Emotional Learning• As the child grows and learns, more of the

cortex is involve in an emotional event. • This process is responsible for new wiring or

pruning.• There is an appraisal process done by the

middle prefrontal and orbitofrontal cortex: 1. What’s the meaning I give to what just happened?

(Red flag it?)2. Is my response good or bad?

(based on the response of other people’s facial expression and behavior)

3. Let me look at the details to see if what I did actually applies. Contrasting little nuances. Fine tuning.

Emotional Appraisal

• The appraisal draw also from past memory as filed and provided by the hippocampus. But dissects it for similarities and differences.

• The appraisal also starts to draw from logic, verbal, societal norms and left brain rationales as that grows.

• Everything then gets send back to the hippocampus for filing.

• Hippocampus creates short cuts for intense, meaningful experiences. But the experiences in the short cuts are filed as a summary. (The full version with details may or may not be filed. Apoptosis, pruning.)

What’s filed?• Short loop: Loud noise. Run• Long loop(concurrent “appraisal”): Loud

noise, sounds like mom getting upset, (hippocampus—mom is scary when she is upset and I’ll get into trouble.) Mom is in the next room, Run to the bathroom.

• Appraisal: Loud noise, Two loud noises. One bang, one is mom’s voice. Mom dropped a plate and she was screaming b/c she was hurt. Boy was I an idiot for running. She needed my help.

• Hippocampus files under “I am a idiot” and “mom is scary when she is upset”. With or without all that detail.

Appraisal = Judgment based on Evidence• Appraisal process is also applied to other

responses and actions. • Not just asking, “Is my response good or

bad?” Also, “Is what I do ‘good’ or ‘bad’?”(based on the response of other people’s

facial expression/behavior and consequences)

• Past memory/experiences (hippocampus). • Logic, verbal and left brain rationales

(worldviews), societal and cultural norms.

We lose either way. If my response is good, that leads to pride. If it’s bad, it leads to fight,

flight, freeze defenses.

Self appraisal Fight modeExternal Judgment

External Punishment/Consequences

Self appraisal: Not good enough

Fight mode Vows/Defenses (What I plan to do next time it happens)

When an event of similar theme occurs:External Judgment

External Punishment/Consequences

Self appraisal

Vows/Defenses to avoid repetition of what happened

Internal Self Imposed Punishment/Consequences

Self appraisal

Vows/Defenses to avoid repetition of what happened

Self appraisal into Flight modeExternal Judgment

External Punishment/Consequences

Self appraisal: Not good enough

Flight mode: I must escape, avoid, run away from future situations.

Internal Judge can go into an escape mode:Mom yelled at me for spilling milk.

I must avoid making a mistake

Friends upset at me for making them lose a game.

To avoid mistakes, I must avoid sports.

Teacher upset at me for not understanding a concept.

I am not good at academics.

To avoid mistakes, I must avoid sports.

Boss/Wife upset at me for making a mistake.

To avoid mistakes, I must avoid life.

I successfully avoided embarrassment by avoiding tasks

Boy there is nothing I am good at. I’m useless.

The earth is better without me in it.

Internal Judge• Is often a splitting image of one’s most

severe critic(s). (There may be more than one in a person’s life. Caretakers, teachers, warped image of God.)

• Why?1. Object permanence

Jean Piaget: Understand that objects continue to exist even when they cannot be observed.

2. Internalization of the object. (Suppose to be for safety. I am safe at school b/c mom is still there even though I don’t see her.)

3. Mirroring neurons. Identification with the abuser.

Ex of the internal judger becoming abusive:

I really did not perform well.

I’m lazy like he said. I’m not very smart.

I must work harder.

I didn’t get 100 on the exam

Dad yelled at me.

That was a bad experience.

I should know more so I can perform better.

I didn’t get 100 on the exam

Dad yelled at me.

That was a bad experience.

I should know more so I can perform better.

I couldn’t answer teacher’s question.

That was a bad experience.

Not only am I lazy, not very smart, I’m also not good at speaking

The internal judge becomes automatic process. With an internal judge at work, the devil doesn’t need to work very hard.

Thrown into pool. Don’t know how to swim.

Dad yelled at me.

That was a bad experience.

Inner vow: I’ll never let anyone get me wet again.

Someone throws water on me during a water fight and I got very angry.

Boy I over reacted. Am I crazy or have a bad temper?

Yup, something is wrong with me. I wonder if I’ll ever be good marriage partner.

External Judgment

External Punishment/Consequences

Self appraisal

Vows/Defenses to avoid repetition of what happened

Internal Self Imposed Punishment/Consequences

Self appraisal

Vows/Defenses to avoid repetition of what happened

Eventually we do not even need a ‘big event’ for the internal

judge to be turned on.

The internal judge can bear similarities to our greatest

critic or abuser.

Self appraisal into Freeze modeNote: Amygdala itself only does fight or flight. Only when the self appraisal comes in does it do the freeze mode due to conflicting information and experiences.

External Judgment

External Punishment/Consequences

Self appraisal: Not good enough

Freeze mode: I don’t know what to do.

Internal Judge can go into an freeze mode:Mom yelled at me for spilling milk.

I didn’t say anything to defend myself.

Next time I must speak up.

Last time I spoke up that ended up in spanking.

I must not speak up.

I should speak up for myself.

Got sent to the principal.

Boss thought I made a mistake I didn’t make.

They won’t believe me even if I speak up.

If I speak up, I might get fired.

I don’t know what to do. I can’t speak up and I can’t not speak up. ????? Delay figuring out a reaction for next time

I don’t know anything. I’m useless.

The earth is better without me in it.

Erickson’s Developmental question answered via evidence and knowledge of good and evil.

4-5y/o •Initiative vs. Guilt•Is what I do good or bad?

5-12y/o•Industry vs Inferiority•Can I make what I do good and acceptable?

Yes!! I am good at what I do. I am an over achiever !!!

No!! Everything I do sucks.

Summary• When Amygdala is triggered, it goes it to a focus

mode: Fight or Flight. There is no other way. • Once triggered, it will go to the preferred

pathway, one that is use most often and burned into memory b/c it was intense.

• The hormonal cascade (hypothalamic-pituitary axis) causes the body to focus in on certain stimuli and tune out others. Eyes have tunnel vision and ear tune in to only the danger source. Blood flow is stunted to the muscles away from the brain.

• Even if one attempts to try a different response via a quick analysis by the appraiser/judger, one cannot find alternate solutions b/c the blood flow to the brain is decreased.

Should we get rid of our internal appraiser and judge?

• God gave us a conscience and a way to fine tune and learn from our past. The appraiser was tricked into the position of the judge via the knowledge of good and evil.

• We need the appraiser to cross out past unhealthy patterns.

• We need to give our appraiser new things to think about and a fair chance at doing the job.

• Redefine the job. The job is not to be the judge, enforce that imprisons self and prevent mistakes from repeating.

NO!!

Appraiser job description makeover

Solutions expert. Motivates self positively. Believes and hopes. One who is after God’s heart and carries His wisdom.

Judge/ Enforcer to prevent mistakes, shame, guilt and pain. Motivates change by punishing.

To ponder the mysteries of God. His ways, His standards, His values, His patience. That should

bring some humility and reality check of our own capabilities.

Appraiser needs

1. Bless and affirm the guardian exercise.2. A new value system rather than the one

learned from the world and the caretakers. A new role model.

3. New skills to increase possible solutions options.

4. A calm environment to work in. 5. Time to process. (we need to

intentionally set aside time to do this.

Is there a different way? • Return the amygdala to a place where it

does not perceive everything as a threat, to a place of calm. To a relationship with God were question of “Was what I did good or bad” does not exist. Do the Emmanuel method and exercises in the previous lessons.

• Rewrite the scripts that is stored in our hippocampus.

To do this, we need to be first aware of what the current script is. Ponder upon what is important to God.

Internal Judge can go into an freeze mode:Mom yelled at me for spilling milk.

I didn’t say anything to defend myself.

Next time I must speak up.

Last time I spoke up that ended up in spanking.

I must not speak up.

I should speak up for myself.

Got sent to the principal.

Boss thought I made a mistake I didn’t make.

They won’t believe me even if I speak up.

If I speak up, I might get fired.

Return to calm

What are different options than not speaking up or speaking up disrespectfully?

Perhaps I can learn to speak up respectfully??

Blessing the GuardianFather God, thank You for creating me in your image. You created in me, a part of my brain center to have a guardian protective role just like Father God. You are my protector. I appreciate my guardian center for doing the job of protecting me from harms and patterns of harm that developed especially in my early life. My Guardian Center, you are forever a part of me and a part of my brain that sets of the Flight, Flight, Freeze reaction that is essential and God created to keep me safe. You are not designed to carry the roles of the judge, lawmaker, enforcer and executioner. But you are designed carry the heart of the Father. One who is wise and resourceful. One who teaches and discipline but is also kind and compassionate. You are creative in the way you seek solutions. I want to invite this part of me and my brain into my relationship with God. I want to return the judging of spirit matters of faith, hope and belief to my human spirit/original self. That a secure attachment to a loving Father is possible. Jesus sacrificed His life so that connection with the Father is now possible. I want to be like the Father and to carry His heart of protection. Jesus lift off this yoke of judge, lawmaker, enforcer and executioner.

Group sharing• Before sharing. Just take a few moments to think

about:1. What are some of the scripts I have wrote up for myself?

(Beliefs I have of myself? Vows that I’d made?).2. Why did draw those conclusions? Why did I make those

vows?3. What’s the cost of keeping those vows?

• Sharing. One talk and one actively listen (ATTUNE). Listen for emotional contents. Reflect/paraphrase what you think you heard. Mimic the tone, mood of the speaker. Feel if possible what they are feeling, or think about it from their perspective. Listener, refrain from sharing about yourself. You can ask clarification questions when the speaker is done.

Emmanuel MethodGod may You silence and rebuke and cosmic spirits of interference. Get into a comfortable position. Take a few deep breaths while remember that God is in the air that you are breathing. Let the air flow to the muscles and relax them. When you are relaxed, ask God to bring to your remembrance a time when you had a 5 bar connection with Him, when the connection was strong and you experienced Him very strongly. If several memories come up, pick one that had the most emotional impact on you. If no memories come up, just think of a time that you appreciated someone for what he or she did. As you look into the memory, remember how you felt, and how your body felt. Remember what you are most thankful and appreciative for in that memory. Bring those positive feels to the now and allow yourself to re-experience it. Ask God to strengthen and deepen the connection. After you feel connected to Him, you can start asking Him questions.What do you want me to know about You? What do you want me to know about myself? What about me is important to You? What script do you want to focus on right now? What does life look like if I am not judging myself by this script of good vs evil? What would life look like if I gave up this script. How do you want to grow me and how are you monitoring it? How will I know if I’m on the right track? What you do you have to say about the evidence I’d gather to support my script?

Emmanuel MethodIf what He proposed and giving up the script is agreeable to you, tell Him, “God I want to retract and renounce this law and I have written for myself. I want to release my body, spirit, mind, heart and will from slavery and control. I ask my body, spirit, mind, heart and will to forgive myself for whatever harm and burdens that resulted from the judgment of this script.” God pull away that prison and set the captives free. (wait for release to be done.) Release my body. (wait) Release my spirit. (wait) Release my mind.. My heart.. My will... What do you want to fill me in those places that have now been emptied out? What does Jesus want me to know. What does Father want me to know? What does Holy Spirit want me to know? Thank You God, show me and guide me in the process. Help me remember this. Other questions you can ask God when you practice the Emmanuel 5 bar connection. Or you can just enjoy the connection without asking any questions. • Who am I? What am I doing here? Where am I going?• Can I trust? (Trust is built on relationship and not evidence.

Confidence and faith is in what is what is not always seen in the natural realm but in what God said.)

• Is it okay to be me? Do I have autonomy and choice?• Who am I/Am I a product of the world? Who can or do I want to

be?• Can I love and interact with others?• Does my life count? Can I make my life count?