I AM, I AM NOT, I AM Part I

Real happiness lies in making others happyAvatar Meher Baba

A true spiritual journey in modern times..........

Author: Raj Salvi

I AMI AM NOT

I AM

First printed in September 2011

By Rucha Systems,Nashik,India

For any information on this bookplease contact the author Raj Salviat email: [email protected]

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in orintroduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form,

or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying,recording or otherwise) without the prior written

permission of the author. Any person who does anyunauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to

criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

Canada Office:

Salvi Business Group Inc.

#2-6573 Humphries Court

BURNABY. B.C. V3N 4K9

CANADA

Copyright @ 2011 Raj Salvi

All rights reserved with Author Raj Salvi

I have come not to teach, but to awaken

I am the ancient one.

I belong to no religion.

Every religion belongs to me.

My own personal religion is

of my being the ancient infinite one &

the religion I teach to all is of love of God.

This love can be practiced by anyone,

high, low, rich, poor & every one

of every cast & creed can love God.

-Meher Baba

About the Author

Raj Salvi is a Canadian citizen residing inBurnaby, a suburb of Vancouver, Canada inBritish Columbia. He is a MetallurgicalEngineer from IIT, Powai, Mumbai and a registered ProfessionalEngineer (P. Eng.) in British Columbia, Canada. He also has aMasters in Metals and Materials Engineering from theUniversity of British Columbia, Canada

He immigrated to Canada in 1989. He has worked both inCanada and the US in the foundry industry. He started hisown business, Salvi Business Group Inc, importing castingsfrom India for US and Canadian markets.

During the course of business travel in India he was fortunateto meet many Perfect Masters (Sadgurus). He had a uniquespiritual experience on October 10, 2001 during which his handbegan to write on its own, messages from Avatar Meher Baba(www.avatarmeherbaba.org). The process of automatic writingor auto writing, as it is commonly referred to, has continued todate since October 10, 2001. Teetering on the border of alcoholism,just one message from Avatar Meher Baba to give up alcoholwas enough to take the chip of alcoholism from his being. Rajhas not had a drop of alcohol since the evening of October 10,2001. More than 12,000 pages have been written through autowriting with messages from Avatar Meher Baba for many peoplewho have asked for answers through auto writing. Raj does theauto writing free of charge it is a service he provides because ofhis profound love for God.

The book I AM, I AM NOT, I AM contains his personalexperiences of his journey towards God-realization. Thesespiritual experiences continue to manifest themselves in hisdaily life even today.....

PrefaceThe purpose of this book is to show a glimpse into how life

is to be lived in a spiritual manner. Some outcomes may seem

outrageous; however they all have a lesson and a purpose.

These aspects are beyond the intellect of the mind to

understand. The sole goal of spiritual living is to ensure that at

all times our actions do not hurt someone and are constantly

directed towards helping others become happy.

It is not easy as our Ego or our individual existence

sometimes seems at jeopardy. Life itself is an experience and

these occasions are tests put in our path by God to check if we

follow at all times the principle of making others happy. Some

are simple, others require complete surrender. The Guru who

comes in the final stage of these experiences, also tests his

student to be completely certain that he is ready to accept

complete surrender of his Ego to the Guru. Once the Guru

accepts his student, he puts him on the Path to God and the

Avatar (God in Human form) who finally hands over the

aspirant to that Formless Creator forever (Moksha).

This book has been written with a view to give the reader a

glimpse of my personal journey on the Path to God. In putting

this book together many people have contributed directly and

indirectly to bringing it to the reader. I would like to offer special

thanks to Dr. Stephen Ogden, Professor of English, Simon Fraser

University, Burnaby, Canada for editing the book, to my cousin

Ramkrishna Salvi for preparing the layout of the book and to

my wife, Rashmita and my daughter, Mayura who helped in

typing the original writings.

I wish the reader to absorb the essence of these experiences

and take whatever principles of spirituality they offer.

One who lives for himself is truly dead and onewho dies for God is truly alive.

-Avatar Meher Baba

CONTENTSChapter 1 Cheating Death Three Times

Chapter 2 Real Happiness Lies in Making Others Happy

Chapter 3 Live Less For Yourself And More For Others

Chapter 4 A New Birth

Chapter 5 Marriages Are Made In Heaven

Chapter 6 You And I Are Not We But One

Chapter 7 Guru Meets His Disciple

Chapter 8 Dadas Texas Letter

Chapter 9 Malang Baba Will Meet You!

Chapter 10 Total Obedience

Chapter 11 Sister Act

Chapter 12 Three Buses

Chapter 13 Go Live Like A King

Chapter 14 Implicit Faith

Chapter 15 How Is Rashmi In London?

Chapter 16 Abdul Rehman Babas Invitation

Chapter 17 This Honor Was For You

Chapter 18 He Is Allahs Angel

Chapter 19 You Are My Son

Chapter 20 Divine Miracles

Chapter 21 Avatar Meher Baba Is God

Chapter 22 Of All Games...

Chapter 23 Manifestation Of Miracles

Chapter 24 Aspects of Spiritual Life

10 I am.. I am not.. I am

11Raj Salvi

Introduction

What I am sharing with you is not my memoirs, but

my journey towards finding God. I know it sounds

very confusing; however the fact is that God was

preparing me for something right from my childhood.

The journey involved sacrifices and acceptances and

complete faith in God. While I was living through

these incidences, I was totally unaware then but

which I now recognize them for what they were

tests. He gave me tests some that were simple while

others that were not.

The journey kept moving me from one small town

to another, from one school to another, from one friend

to another. I was uprooted from one location to

another due to my father, who was a government

official and his job required that he be transferred

from one place to another. I remember that my early

childhood up to the age of six was comfortable. I

grew up in district places which had rural

surroundings and life was simple. Dad would take

me hunting for wild boars and my days passed in

simple games like marbles and spinning a car tire

around the house. I have happy memories of those


days. My elder brother was placed in a boarding school so as

not to disrupt his studies while my father was transferred from

one place to another. I lived with my parents and spent more

time with my mother as she was always at home.

I developed a normal deep attachment towards my mother.

My father used to tour, sometimes for days together, but

whenever he was around, it was fun. We moved to Bombay,

now Mumbai, in 1958. A new phase started in my life where the

challenges increased in magnitude. Life totally changed when

my mother was initially diagnosed with depression and later

schizophrenia, soon after my sister was born in 1960. Post

partum depression probably caused this condition. My parents

divorced when I was in my teens and then life got really difficult.

I never blamed my parents I learnt to accept every situation for

what it was a test, a challenge to be overcome. All through

those years I knew that I was not alone. I knew that theres a

force, whom we may call God, and He was looking out for me,

looking after me, providing everything when needed.

Education was mostly completed in Bombay, from grade 3 to

Secondary School and then Mumbai University and finally

Bachelor of Metallurgical Technology from the Indian Institute

of Technology, Mumbai. I married in 1979 and took on the

responsibility of a family man. Usually the journey of the soul,

through self-realization (that I am not this body) and finally

God realization (that we are all part of the universal whole)

requires total detachment from all beings and things. I guess

God made an exception in my case - my family is still with me,

my wife, daughter, and son this journey of returning to God

13Raj SalviConsciousness involves total detachment from all beings and

things. That includes even your immediate near and dear ones.

It involves seeing all as One and yours.

In this journey, I met a Perfect Master. It is believed that the

Perfect Master or Guru finds you when you are ready to take the

leap out of this material or gross existence towards God

realization. I am truly blessed that my Guru found me and guided

me towards God realization. It was as simple as that. This

journey started when my Ego (I Am) was at its highest, then

slowly the Ego was crushed by the tests and challenges that life

threw at me to make me realize that I am not just this body.

Finally with the help of the Perfect Master the remnants of my

ego fell away the veil was removed and my goal in life became

clear. I had moved into the realm of God consciousness. The

episodes that I am sharing are some of the milestones that

dotted my journey from Guru to Avatar or the Messiah.

This journey involved the maximizing of the ego (I Am) and

then crushing it, extinguishing until just a few traces remained

(I Am Not) and ultimately evaporating the final remnants of the

Ego thereby transforming human consciousness to God

Consciousness (I Am Everything) as the final goal of life.

True love is no game of the faint-hearted and the weak; it is born of

strength and understanding.


1C H A P T E RC H A P T E RC H A P T E RC H A P T E RC H A P T E R

I was born in Jalgaon, a city in the state of Maharashtra,

India on October 31, 1950 at 1:55 am. However the clerk who

was on morning duty at the hospital entered my birth date as

being born last night therefore October 30th. This became my

official date of birth.

My father, a Government officer, used to be transferred from

city to city that was the nature of his job. I remember moving

from Nasik, to Malegaon and then to Aurangabad. I was now

six years old.

We moved into a huge government bungalow a remnant

from the British Raj. I was in kindergarten at the Little Flower

High School. The daily routine started around 10:00 a.m. when

my brother, who was eight years old and I would be dropped off

at school in a horse carriage called tonga. Around 12:00 noon,

our lunch was brought by my fathers peon (a perk that is enjoyed

by high ranking government officials in India). The peon would

wait until school ended at 2:00 pm and then take us back on a

Cheating DeathThree Times

15Raj Salvi

1 Colloquial term used for a person with little authority often assignedunskilled tasks2 A general term used in India by domestic help to refer to theiremployers son

bicycle. I would sit on the bar that connected the seat and the

handlebar while my brother sat pillion.

On a particular day, as we were returning home from school,

the routine was disturbed.

Yusuf, our peon1 said: Move ahead, Baba2? I need a little

more space to peddle better.

I refused to oblige therefore he pushed me a little towards

the handlebar. The unexpected shove made me lose my balance

and my left foot got trapped in the front wheel of the bicycle. At

the very same moment, Yusuf reached the top of the steep slope

that led to our home. The bicycle gathered momentum. I howled

in pain but Yusuf had no clue to the real reason why I was

yelling. He thought I was angry because he had pushed me.

Finally the slope ended and ironically the bicycle came to a stop

in front of the Civil Hospital which was on the way to our home.

My foot was mangled and the centre bar of the front wheel was

embedded deep into my ankle. Yusuf carried me quickly into

the hospital scared not only at the sight of the blood but of the

consequences of the accident.

Seeing the gravity of the situation, the doctor on call, quickly

injected a dose of Tetanus Toxoid Serum to prevent further

infection. The doctor did not have access to an X-ray machine,

therefore he cleaned and dressed the wound and sent us home.

What happened? my mother queried angrily of Yusuf.

She was waiting in the veranda, anxious at the delay and seeing

the bandage on my foot, was hysterical. I was put to bed

immediately.

About twenty minutes later, I felt very thirsty and called to

my mother May I have some water please Within ten minutes,

I made her a request for another glass of water. No sooner had

I drank the second glass of water, I asked my mother for some

more. My mother, who was sitting by my bed, felt something

was wrong. Our neighbor was also a government officer. My

mother ran to him house to check if he was still in as he would

have the office his house. As luck would have it, our neighbor

was about to leave for work. This was not his usual time but he

had been delayed. My neighbors bungalow and ours were the

only two bungalows at quite a distance from the main city with

no mode of public transport. Had our neighbor left in his jeep as

per his usual time my mother would not have been able to rush

me back to the Civil Hospital.

The doctor on call instructed the nurse to hook me up to the

saline bottle as I was extremely dehydrated. He realized that I

was having an anaphylactic reaction to the serum. A reaction of

this type can cause death in minutes as the nervous system gets

paralysed suddenly, if the antidote is not administered to the

patient. The doctor had not taken the precaution of checking to

see if I was allergic to the serum prior to giving it to me. I was

given nearly two dozen injections to stop the reaction; my

progress was monitored before I was sent home. This was the

first close encounter with death.

The following day, I was driven to Jalna, another city close

by, that had a Civil Hospital equipped with X-ray equipment.


My ankle was x-rayed and it was found that I had multiple

fractures and my foot was promptly put into a cast. We returned

home with my leg in cast from knee down. It was nearly 3

months before the cast was removed. And this is when death

made a second attempt on my life.

We had just finished dinner, my mother was clearing the

table and my father was already deep into his work files at his

desk in the living room. I went to wash my hands in the bathroom

which was at a lower level to the dining area. Built on grand

scale, the bathroom was close to 70 feet by 20 feet in dimension.

I climbed down the stairs into the bathroom to wash my hands

and kept on playing with the water in the washbasin.

My mother shouted Raj, stop playing in the water. Come

out of the bathroom immediately!

She had her back to me as I climbed the stairs to the upper

level. I had barely reached the doorway when there was a

resounding crash. A cloud of dust engulfed me from behind.

Dust was everywhere and I could not see anything around me.

Hearing the crash, my mother turned and all she saw was

the cloud of dust. She screamed to my father: Raj is trapped!

He is dead!

I could hear her screams but could not move because there

was no visibility I couldnt see an inch in front of me. It was

about 10 minutes before the dust settled and some visibility was

restored and that is when my mother saw me standing in the

doorway, covered with dust but ALIVE!

1 A Hindu festival that symbolizes celebrating the victory ofgood over evil as depicted in the epic Ramayana2 A very popular sweet dish from Maharashtra made from milk

17Raj Salvi

What had happened was that the entire 70 feet wall had

collapsed along with part of the roof. I certainly would have

been crushed to death if I had continued to play in the water

and not heeded my mothers call. I narrowly escaped death the

second time.

It is believed that events normally happen in threes. About

15 days after the above episode, it was the festival of Dassera3.

Dassera symbolizes victory of good over evil and is considered

to be a very auspicious festival. My father had a holiday and

took my brother and me to the city to purchase some sweets.

Lets buy basundi4, my father said.

He stopped in front of shop named Amrutbhandar and

bought some basundi. We reached home and had it as dessert

after lunch. I was not too fond of sweets in my childhood and

therefore took only a small quantity. My father insisted that the

day being an auspicious one, I should take some more.

You need to celebrate the two close escapes from death!

he said. He did not insist that my brother should have more but

forced me to take a couple of extra helpings of basundi. In the

end, I ended up having 3 cups of the sweet as a celebration.

My parents took us with them to visit some family friends,

as is customary during festivals. It was my brother who threw

up first and I followed him in a couple of minutes. Sensing

something was wrong, my parents drove us down to the Civil

Hospital. We saw hospital staff waiting at the entrance of the

hospital and as we reached them, one of them asked:

Did you eat Basundi from Amrutbhandar5? My brother

5 A famous sweet shop in Aurangabad


19Raj Salvi

and I were put on stretchers and rushed inside the hospital.

I cannot find a vein on this one, Doctor! shouted the nurse

who was working on me to hook me up to saline. Suddenly

there were three other nurses working frantically to find a vein.

Finally one of the nurses shouted Here I found a vein it

was in the space between my toes! The intravenous drip was

attached immediately.

Do you know what happened? my father told us later.

While the shop was boiling the milk to prepare Basundi, a

lizard from the wall fell inside the milk and got boiled, releasing

its poisonous toxins into the milk. This was the third close

encounter with death at the age of 6.

The infinite truth latent ineverything reveals itself only

when life is accepted in itstotality.


The Indian Institute of Technology (IIT) is one of the premier

engineering educational institutions in India. To obtain entry

into IIT is considered an outstanding academic achievement in

India. Top students from all over the country compete at the

joint entrance examination. I was proud to see my name in the

list of students accepted to join IIT in 1969.

The decision to join IIT was totally my own. My father was

in the UK on government business. My mother was in no

condition to guide me as she was suffering from schizophrenia.

I had to decide which of the five locations to select - Bombay,

Delhi, Kanpur, Kharagpur and Madras. I was looking for an

opportunity to experience life away from home and therefore

opted to register at IIT, Kanpur, Uttar Pradesh. I selected

Metallurgical Engineering.

A very apt saying comes to mind Man proposes, God

disposes. On his return from the UK, my father was insistent

Real Happiness Lies inMaking Others Happy

Lord Meher, Volume 15, Page 5262


that I transfer to IIT, Bombay. He felt that I should be close to

him, so that he could monitor me in case of any problems arising

due to health or otherwise.

On the opening day of the 1969 IIT batch of students, there

was a flood of youngsters and their parents at IIT, Bombay

searching for their rooms in the hostels (dormitories). I realized

that I was probably the only new student who was not

accompanied by either of his parents. My father was totally

immersed with his work and my mother was too sick.

I thought I saw a familiar face in the sea of strangers in the

corridor of the hostel. It was Warty, my 10th grade classmate.

Hey Warty, I shouted as he was a few feet away.

Im sorry, I cant remember your name he answered.

Raj Salvi I said, adding From St. Xaviers High School.

Oh, yes, yes, now I remember he acknowledged and then

quickly turned and disappeared into his room.

You seem to be the only one here to know my son a female

voice said.

I turned to see an elderly lady standing next to me.

Yes, we were in the same class in grade ten I replied.

I need your help she added quickly as if making sure that

whatever she needed to say was done prior to her son coming

out of the dorm room.

I made sure my son studied at home, so that he could pass

the entrance exam for this Institute. Now that he is here alone,

he wont have anyone nagging him to study. He is my only son

and I want you to promise me that you will help him in whatever

way possible to become an Engineer.

21Raj Salvi


Her face shone with the love of a mother and just for a

moment, I was jealous for I longed to see that expression on my

mothers face too. Amidst the chaos in the corridor, and without

giving any thought to my words, I replied I promise.

She patted me on my shoulder and turned to go to her sons

room.

My eyes filled with tears for I had just experienced the touch

of a mothers love! I made a silent resolution that I would ensure

that her son studied with me and would not fall behind in the

23Raj Salviclass academically. Graduation was five years ahead and

therefore it meant that I had given a promise which would take

five years to be fulfilled.

When the results were posted at the end of the five-year IIT

engineering degrees, I was the last student in the First Class

category and Warty was the first student in the Second Class

category. We stood next to each other in the line at graduation to

receive our degrees.

I had kept my promise to a mother.

True love is no game of the faint-hearted and the weak; it is born of

strength and understanding.



The Indian Institute of Technology, Powai, Mumbai, is

situated on a thousand acre piece of land nestled between two

lakes, Powai and Vihar and surrounded by majestic hills.

The natural setting nurtured a variety of organic flora. I

recognized a particular bush. It had dozens of light brown fruits

with dusty powder on it. This was the Khujli plant, a kind of

stinging nettle - the slightest contact produces itching. I collected

the powder in an envelope.

As classes began, I surveyed my fellow classmates and found

my first victim his name was Roland. He clearly stood out in

the crowd as he was the tallest and possibly the strongest. Being

of smaller proportions and wanting to experiment with this

natural itching powder, I figured he would be the perfect target.

I sat behind him and blew the fine powder into his shirt

collar and neck and then quickly changed my seat. I knew what

the reaction would be and I did not want to be within arms

length of Roland.

Live Less For YourselfAnd More For Others

25Raj SalviAs expected, he started to scratch his neck, then his cheek

and, then his arm. The fine powder was being transported under

his nails and whichever part on his body he touched, the

powder was deposited and the itch would take over. He was so

agitated with the itch that he ran out of class in a panic leaving

the rest of the class in bewilderment, wondering what the

problem was. Later that day, Roland came to know of my prank,

barged into my dorm room and took my entire stash of the

Khujli powder and poured it down my back.

Thirty-two years have passed since that incident, and we

are still the best of friends.

***

Life in hostels can be a lonely experience, unless one develops

close ties with your peers who live with you, play with you, and

eat with you for five years. There were four of us, Roland, Warty,

Panthaky and myself. We gravitated towards each other due to

our love for playing pranks. We were of diverse ethnic and

cultural backgrounds. Over the next five years, we had some of

the most memorable times together. Of course, we had our

differences at times, but in the end the elastic band of friendship

pulled us together again. Even now, when we have crossed 50,

we still recall and laugh at the pranks of those years.

Sometimes difficult situations bring out the best in us and

we were lucky to experience such an event during our stay at

IIT.

It was our final year at IIT. We wanted to concentrate on our

studies and get on with our careers.


The monsoons were upon us on as we began our last year.

After a long day at the classes, we trudged back to our hostel

when we were beckoned by our classmate, Dennis, to go for

football practice.

Roland, Dennis and I, headed to the field in full soccer dress.

As we were leaving the hostel, Warty called me and said that he

was interested in ragging1 a boy who lived in his apartment

complex and was a freshman.

Im not interested in all this now, Warty I replied. I had

enough of this stuff in the last four years.

The football practice lasted about 45 minutes and as we

walked past Hostel 4, one of the students shouted,

Salvi, come on up, Warty is here

The three of us started up the stairs to the second floor where

we saw approximately 100 students lined along the corridor.

We cut through the crowd and reached the point where the

freshman was being ragged.

Let the action now begin said Mammen. He was with us

in the first year and had failed so was still in fourth year. I saw

Warty sitting in Mammens room watching what was happening

in the corridor. I was standing next to the student while Panthaky

and Roland stood beside me.

Use the newspaper as a towel and strip Mammen directed

the freshman student. There was reluctance from him to obey,

but he finally realized that he was outnumbered and started to

comply. As he wrapped newspaper around his torso like a towel,

his trousers slipped down his ankles. I lit a cigarette and came

in front. Suddenly, I noticed that the newspaper was burning

27Raj Salviand he was forced to drop the newspaper.

Dress up now and go back to your hostel Mammen told

the student. As he was putting his trousers on, I quickly ducked

into the room and told Warty to talk to the student as he seemed

frightened.

Oh! No! If he complains, I will take care of him at home

Warty replied nonchalantly.

I decided to catch up with the freshman before he reached

Hostel 3 and caught up with him as he was leaving the gate.

Are you burnt anywhere? I enquired.

He was so frightened that he barely nodded his head

denying any injury.

Apply some ointment if there are any burns, I told him

and went back up the stairs to join my friends.

A week had passed since this incident when suddenly

notices were put up on the notice boards that there had been a

serious case of ragging in the Institute and that the Wardens of

all the hostels would address the students after dinner.

Raj, dont open your mouth at the meeting the hostel

General Secretary advised me quickly.

Why should I? I didnt do anything I replied.

Please take my advice he added.

After dinner the mess lounge was rearranged for the meeting.

Lets go and sit in the first row, we dont have anything to

worry about I advised. From where I sat, the Warden was

standing exactly opposite to me as he faced the students. He

was glaring at me furiously.

There has been a serious case of ragging in this campus


began the Warden.

I tried to imagine what horrendous things someone must

have done to force the authorities to call for a meeting of this

magnitude. The first of its kind in my four year stay at the

Institute.

A student was taken from Hostel 3 and burned in Hostel

4 the Warden stated, barely controlling his temper.

I suddenly realized that this was none other than our case

that was being discussed. Raj, dont open your mouth at the

meeting suddenly made a lot of sense.

Covering my mouth with my palm, I whispered to Warty

who was next to me,

Slowly slide to the end and lets get out of here

Quickly, all four of us walked out of the meeting, even as the

Warden hollered,

I will personally butcher these fellows period

We met up outside and decided to take our mattresses and

climb on to the roof and sleep there until the Warden had left

our hostel. He left around 3:00 a.m. As we came down to the

hostel lobby, the General Secretary of the hostel met us.

Where were you Raj? The Wardens been waiting for you

to confess to what you did he said

I told you, I did not do anything! I replied and carried on.

I suddenly realized that I might be expelled from the Institute

and five years of Engineering studies would amount to nothing.

Around 10 a.m. the next morning, the notices went up much

to the anxiety of all students. There were two students from

Hostel 4 who had been expelled from the Institute and about

29Raj Salvi100 students were fined.

Why is your name not among the expelled ones, Raj? the

General Secretary asked wondering.

I told you, I was not involved.

I then analyzed the entire incident at Hostel 4 and realized

that when I came to the front, the student saw my lit cigarette

and presumed that I had lit the newspaper from behind. What

had actually happened was that as I did not have a lighter or a

matchbox, I signaled to a friend who was standing behind the

student to light my cigarette. He did and then proceeded to light

the newspaper from behind. As the student was busy

extinguishing the fire behind, the match was passed to Mammen,

who then lit the front of the newspaper.

The notice gave the names of both the students and asked

them to vacate the hostels within 24 hours. Suddenly the doors

flew open to my room and Mammen and my friend were standing

in the doorway, tears streaming down their cheeks.

Our lives are completely shattered. What are we going to

tell our parents who have spent so much money on our

education? they said with lowered heads.

Relax, we will find a solution. Every problem has a

solution, I comforted them.

I called Roland, Warty and Panthaky to my room.

I think I have a solution I said.

Do you remember a movie named Stalag 17? I stopped.

All of them in the room looked confused, likely wondering what

that question had to do with the situation at hand.

There is a scene where all the prisoners of war are lined


up and the German General comes to address them. He gets up

on the pedestal wearing a monocle. Theres a small pool of water

in front of him, below the pedestal. One of the POWs picks a

stone and throws it into the puddle. The water splashes onto

the monocle and the General demands that the one who did it

fall out. Slowly, one by one, soldiers started to fall out from

different lines. The General orders them all to fall back

How is this going to help us? Mammen interrupted.

Dont you understand why the General could not take a

decision? Because he knew that so many soldiers could not

have thrown one stone, but more importantly, he could not

punish all of them I answered.

Do you think that if we all said that we are equally

responsible being present at the scene, that the authorities will

expel six students at one time? I asked. I was hoping that the

friendship that had developed over the past five years would

come into play. We had become more like brothers, than friends.

Are you crazy? said Warty

Impossible! I cant do this was Rolands response

I too dont agree added Panthaky.

I think we can stop these guys from being expelled. We

have been friends for so long and thats why I suggested this

way. Anyway, the choice is yours. I feel morally obligated to

take some of the blame because I didnt make any effort to prevent

the incident. Im going to see the Director tomorrow morning

and Ill let you all know what happens. I concluded.

The next day as I was leaving the hostel to meet the Director,

Warty, Roland, and Panthaky joined me.

31Raj SalviWe thought about what you said last night and we think it

is the right solution Panthaky told me.

We were all there and take full responsibility for what

happened, Sir I said as the four of us faced the Director of the

Institute in his office.

Do you realize Mr. Salvi that I can expel all of you from this

Institute along with your other two friends? the Director said.

Yes, Sir I replied.

We watched in amazement the expression change on the

Directors face. He had tears in his eyes!

These are tears of joy, Mr. Salvi. The purpose of these Indian

Institutes when they were created was to foster a spirit of

brotherhood amongst all the Alumni. What you have done has

proved that it works! You may all leave and within the next 2

hours, new notices will be put on the notice boards, said the

Director.

As promised, new notices were put up. All six of us were

allowed to attend classes but had to vacate the hostels in 24

hours.

I learnt that day that one has to, for the happiness of others,

be ready to sacrifice everything and that any problem can be

resolved with LOVE.

The Master helps the seeker in his owninvincible ways, which have no parallel inthe ways of the world. But if the aspirant is

to be the recipient of this help, he must makea real effort to surrender himself to the

Divine will of the Master.


The year was 1975 and I had completed my engineering

studies at the Indian Institute of Technology (IIT). Armed with

a Bachelors degree in Metallurgy I took up a job with one of my

relations who had an iron metal casting foundry. About 300

people earned their livelihood in this unit. Metals parts were

made from melting iron scrap and pouring into sand moulds.

These parts were mainly supplied to pump, automobile and

other industries.

The work was strenuous. It involved working amidst a

furnace that spewed molten metal at 1400 degrees C periodically,

fumes, sand, dust an atmosphere that takes a heavy toll on

the body. At the end of a 10-12 hour shift, you are exhausted.

The ride home is a one and half hour train ride and then another

half hour bus ride.

On this particular day a day that would change my life

forever I was working on a project which involved being close

to the melting furnace. The constant heat drained the energy

out of me.

How did you manage to make that experiment

4C H A P T E RC H A P T E RC H A P T E RC H A P T E RC H A P T E RA New Birth

33Raj Salvisuccessful? asked my boss, Mr. Ghosh.

I was working on the metal composition to manufacture a

brake disc for scooters.

I guess my knowledge of metallurgy helped me find the

solution, I replied, arrogant of my own abilities. Graduating

from an engineering institute like the Indian Institute of

Technology (IIT) was a feather in the cap. IIT generated a bit of

ego in all its graduates, making them feel superior to others.

After all, only a few are

selected from a

nationwide joint

entrance examination to

enter this institute.

Hence those who are

successful in gaining

entry into IIT were

considered crme de la

crme.

The local train was crowded as usual. I got lost in the mass

of humanity. After a hard days work, I had to find the energy

to stand for one and a half hours, packed tightly like a sardine

in a can. As the station arrived, the mass of humanity poured

out of the compartment only to be replaced by another mass

getting in, all within seconds. The trains rolled on at 80 mph.

Next station is Grant Road, Mr. Ghosh advised me

knowing this was the station that I got off to catch the bus

home. See you tomorrow, boss! I replied. It was around 6:30

p.m.


I waited on the platform for the train to pass. There are

overhead bridges for passengers to cross the railway tracks

and I used them regularly. However, this evening I was too

exhausted to climb the stairs to go across the tracks to the bus

stop. As the trains last compartment pulled away from me

slowly, I quickly jumped onto the tracks and glanced towards

the direction a train would come on the next track. I knew this

was the fast track used by the express train, traveling at 100

mph. I gave a quick glance and stepped onto this track.

I realized my mistake immediately. There was an express

train on that track heading directly towards me. I had failed to

see it because it was hidden by the train that was leaving the

platform. My exhaustion had reduced my awareness of the

surroundings. I saw the train approximately 10 feet away. It

is over, the thought flashed through my mind. All of a sudden

a white ethereal form materialized close to me. I felt myself

being picked up by the waist and being gently placed back on

the other track. It appeared as if the express train was frozen in

time I saw it framed as if in a picture frame. Then I felt the

express train thunder past me, just a few feet away. As soon as

it passed, I turned around to thank the person who had saved

my life. There was no one there!

My first thoughts were I should be dead. God, You have

kept me alive for a reason. Every action I take from this moment

on will be in Your service. The egoistic and arrogant Raj Salvi

died at this moment. I dont know when I reached home. I was

shaken by this incident.

At the dinner table that night, I told my father that I had a

35Raj Salvi

The way to remain free fromkarma is to remain completely

detached in service.

mind shattering experience. After I had narrated the entire

incident, he said, Yes, I believe you. I was astonished. I tell

you less colorful stories and you always disbelieve me, and yet

I narrate an astonishing story, and you calmly accept it? Why?

Because I have experienced a similar incident in my life

too, my father replied calmly. I was intrigued. It happened

in Germany. I could not read German and therefore took a

wrong entry in the Autobahn. I realized this as the first car

came from the opposite direction and passed me like a bullet. I

knew this was the end. Suddenly a large white figure appeared

on the road, picked me up with the moving car and put me on

the right side of the Autobahn. That is why I believe you.

I realized then that there is a guardian angel looking after

our family. Someone who made sure that both father and son

had to be kept alive for some purpose only known to Him!



Raj! my father called for me in the house.

I had just returned to Mumbai following my resignation

from Business Combine Limited, in Nasik, Satpur industrial

estate. After my graduation from The Indian Institute of

Technology, Bombay in 1974, I had taken a job in this factory.

My experience had been in foundry and this being one of the

leading foundries in India in the year 1974, I considered myself

fortunate to be given a chance to work there. Yes, it was a

chance especially I had not even applied to get a job there. I had

applied to ExcellO ( India) for a Sales position that they had

advertised.

There is a marriage proposal for you my father continued

Mr Chowgule has a daughter who has made it known that

she is interested in getting married to you. She saw you in

another wedding lately.

Do you know Mr. Chowgule is a rich businessman and

has many companies. You can work in any of them and thus

Marriages Are MadeIn Heaven

37Raj Salviwont have to look for a job in your life Dad stopped.

I was pensive and did not reply immediately. Dad seemed

a bit disturbed at my silence. I am not interested in the

proposal was my quiet reply.

Are you out of your mind? This marriage will make your

life he retorted. What are you basing you decision on? he

added

I had considered that if I marry her, I would have to be

subservient to her every wish as they were much richer than

my family and this financial imbalance would be most

disadvantageous to me as the son-in-law.

I decided to venture out and find a job first (remove the

period) before I thought of getting married. With this in mind, I

had applied to several companies in Bombay

ExcellO (India) an automobile part manufacturing

company, called me for a job interview. As the Vice President

was taking my interview a man suddenly walked in and sat

down in the room. He took my resume from the Vice President

and studied it. I thought he was probably the President of

Excell O.

He asked the VP to let him speak to me.

You are a Metallurgical Engineer? he asked me

Yes, I am I replied blankly, wondering what was this all

about.

Would you like to work in a foundry? he asked. We

have a foundry in Nasik and I might be able to take you there.

Would you be Ok to work and stay in Nasik? He enquired

I most certainly would love that I answered without


moment of hesitation. Metal casting was my passion since

passing IIT in 1974. I had worked in a foundry in Mulund for a

few months and I was fully conversant with the casting

manufacturing techniques.

Well then here is my telephone number in Nasik. When

you reach there give me a call. My name is Mehta. he said as

he handed me a paper with his number.

My father had married again recently after he divorced my

mother due to her illness. As I was close to my mother, I was

opposed to my father remarrying The option to leave Mumbai

and go to Nasik was a welcome one for me as this would keep

me away from staying with my stepmother.

After a four year stay in Nasik and working with BCL as

the foundry was known, I left and returned in the summer of

1978 back to Mumbai. It was April and the city was hot and

humid, compared to the cool and pleasant hill station like

weather of Nasik This weather had been idle for binges of

drinking and I had got addicted to liquor. I would drink a whole

bottle of rum at one sitting and with no addition of water or

Coke (otherwise sounds like you were having drugs!) Off course

the loneliness in a small town like Nasik pushed me towards

addiction to liquor.

Coming back to Mumbai meant staying with my father and

my stepmother for the first time, after my four year stint in Nasik.

I knew it was going to be difficult to adjust to the new

surroundings in the house. I was told that the only place for me

in the house was in the balcony, where I could keep my bags

and bed. Fate had wanted to test me again and again .My step

39Raj Salvibrother was married and with two bedrooms there was no place

for me especially as my younger sister was also staying there.

I felt that I had to move out of this situation and launch out

on my own. I contacted my mentor in the foundry Mr. R. R.

Salvi who was also looking for an alternative to the consultancy

he was forced to offer in Sangli. Jointly with my close friend in

Nasik Mr Merchant who had a non operative foundry unit, we

joined hands and restarted the foundry in 1979 which is still

working thirty years later..

Marriage was now on my lifes agenda. I was close to

becoming thirty years of age. My career was on its way as a

partner in this foundry at Nasik.

Do visit my family every week when I am in America

Raktim said to me, I dont want my parents to miss their son.

My close friend was leaving for bachelors studies in USA , and

wanted me to fill in the void that he was creating in his parents

life.

I promise you I replied as Raktim bid us goodbyes and

vanished from our view to board the aircraft at Santa Cruz

airport in Bombay.

I was in IIT first year when in 1969 when Raktim left for the

USA. Without fail I would visit his parents whenever I could

and ensure that my promised was honoured. At times I had to

intervene in the their family problems. I was practically a family

member in my friends family. He had an elder sister who was

married and staying near Calcutta. His younger sister Rashmita

and younger brother Rajat were staying with their parents.

My moving to Nasik in 1974 made these trips less frequent.


However whenever I came to Mumbai from Nasik I visited

them and ensured that his parents did not feel the loss of their

son. It was one of those days that I arrived at my friends house.

It was evening and only his parents were there. His Dad

was sitting with his head in his hands.

What happened? I asked him. I was expecting some bad

news and braced myself for it.

Oh nothing, its not working he said in a quizzical

manner

I was lost at this answer. What was not working? I

questioned as he continued

She does not approve any of the boys I show her he added

I now understood that he was talking of Rashmitas

marriage. I felt bad for my friends dad who was getting closer

to retirement and this was a big responsibility as a father he

had to complete. The age of parental arranged marriages had

not yet gone from India. Putting myself in his shoes , I felt the

pain of a father .

Rashmita and I were married December 1979 in Mumbai.

She had done a Bachelors in Arts from Elphinstone College in

Bombay and had done a few jobs in the local offices.

Honeymoon was in Nainital and when we returned we

had to move from my in laws place.

I had no place to stay after my marriage and my Dad was

aware of my predicament.

I have arranged a place for both of you to stay. It is a two

bedroom apartment in Juhu right on the seashore. An

acquaintance of mine has offered it to both of you as an in

41Raj Salvibetween arrangements till you find a more permanent

accommodation my Dad told me as he handed me the keys.

This is wonderful Raj. I understand that there are

Bollywood filmstars residing in this building. Rashmita

remarked.

One day my dad informed me that his friend had offered

me the place for a small sum of Indian Rupees two hundred

thousand. The actual cost of the apartment was close to 5 times

that price at that time in 1980.

Lets buy it Rashmita said

Start packing, we will go and stay in a shanty, if needed

but I dont want this apartment as a charity from my dads

friend. He is going to use dads position in the government

office many times over for this favor. I blew the idea off.

We moved to a one room accommodation in New Bombay

and stayed in a low income neighborhood.

This room accommodated a small kitchen and a toilet apart

from a cupboard and a bed we had of our own.

One particular day it rained heavily in the month of June,

and when we returned to our shanty we found that water had

collected up to the level of the bed mattress. Due to the flooding

the cockroaches had all climbed onto the walls. I knew that

Rashmita was extremely frightened of them.

If you want you can go to your parents house to sleep. I

told Rashmita adding If God wants to test me I will accept

Him in whatever condition. He wants me to sleep here tonight

and I will. If you pass this test He will show you good times, I

promise I said.


Before Karma is created, theindividual has a sort of freedom tochoose what it shall be; but after it

has been accomplished, it becomes afactor, which cannot be ignored and

which has either to be expendedthrough the results, which it invites,

or counter-acted by fresh andappropriate Karma.

I am not going to my parents house. I will sleep in the

same bed ,so what if it is soaked, there is some patch where it is

dry Rashmita replied

I knew He had given me a partner that He had chosen. Yes,

marriages are made in heaven.

43Raj Salvi


Running a small scale industry in Mumbai was a tough

endeavor especially since the foundry was located in an area

where the infrastructure was inadequate.

Raj, will you help my cousin Vijay start his factory in

Titawala? asked my friend, Pankaj. Why dont we meet your

cousin and go from there? I replied.

The history of the factory was that it had stopped production

for six years; however, the Union made sure the workers

received their wages. Moreover, as the management had made

provision for living quarters in the factory compound, the

workers were occupying the factory premises for six years.

I would like you to meet my father, Vijay told me. Vijays

father was a frail, elderly gentleman who had difficulty walking,

even with the support of a cane. Mr. Salvi, I spent my life

building and running this factory to bring it to what it is now.

My son, Vijay, is not capable of running the factory. I am now

too old to go the factory every day. I need someone who can run

You And I Are Not WeBut One


this factory, he pleaded.

Why dont you go to the factory, Vijay? I asked. I am

afraid that the workers will beat me up. I will come with

you, I replied.

The next day Vijay, Pankaj and I went to the factory, located

nearly 100 kilometers from downtown Mumbai. As we walked

from the local station, I could see the look of apprehension on

Vijays face. I was cracking jokes to keep the atmosphere light

and free from tension. The factory was massive and the square

footage was close to 40 acres. As we entered the gates, the

workers stood up as if threatened by our intrusion.

I could see the cobwebs on the machines and a general

sense of despair in the air. I slowly moved away from Vijay and

Pankaj and walked towards a group of workers who were

standing and watching us. How are things here? I casually

asked to break the silence. Are you an engineer? asked one of

them who was eyeing me closely. Yes, I replied. The last

engineer who came to start the factory was murdered at the

railway station, he mentioned nonchalantly. Thank you for

informing me. I am now forewarned and hence forearmed. Just

make sure you are not the one I have to kill, for whosoever tries

to kill me will die first, I guarantee it!

The purpose of my strong words was to deter any of the

workers from taking me for granted. I was soon to galvanize

the workforce which was not used to working for the last six

years. I had to enforce discipline immediately. Within the next

15 days, the production had started in full earnest. I spent most

of my time directing the work activities while Vijay looked after

45Raj Salvithe administration. Being a metallurgical engineer, I was

guiding the melting-in-charge on how to control the metal

chemistry. The person concerned seemed to come from a very

poor background and was obviously not educated. Yet he was

able to inform me some metal characteristics just by observation.

It had taken me 5 years at IIT to acquire this knowledge, whereas

here was a person who was teaching me someone with no

formal engineering knowledge! I developed a profound

admiration for this person.

Will you come to my house for lunch, he asked me one

day hesitatingly. Sure, since you are inviting me, I will surely

come. Tell me the date and time, I said. The following week on

a holiday he invited me to his house which was in the factory

compound itself. All the workers were staying in a little of

colony of huts. However, this persons hut was a little distance

away from this colony.

He was waiting at the factory gate to receive me and take

me personally to his home. As we entered his hut, I saw that it

was pristinely clean and whatever little possession he had,

were arranged properly. The food was delicious and I could

see that his wife had taken the pains to cook up a good meal.

As I came out of the hut, I was met by a group of workers

from the factory who lived in the colony of huts. Do you know

whose house you went? they chorused.

Sure, he is the melting-in-charge person in our factory. I

replied. I was aware of what the workers were waiting for me

to say, however I was waiting to hear it from them.

Do you know that he is an untouchable?

They expected me to jump at this admission. I know that,

I said calmly, without any expression.

And yet you ate at his house! We are Brahmins, and you

did not come to our house to eat, the man said.

I pointed to the melting-in-charge person and said, He

invited me to his home to have lunch, and therefore I went.

None of you invited me to your home, therefore how could I

come?


Spiritual freedom is won by ones self forones self, through watchful and unfailing

war against the false self. Those who wouldbe soldiers in the cause of truth have to

help others not only in launching upon thethrilling enterprise of attaining victory over

oneself, but also in every step they taketowards attainment; there is no other way of

sharing their burden.


Rashmita and I were married in 1979 and our first daughter,

Poonam was born in July 1982. She was like a ray of sunshine

in our lives. The small scale foundry unit that I had started had

teething problems that was a drain on our finances. In short,

life was tough.

Much to our horror, Poonam became critically ill when she

was a month old. We rushed her to intensive care. The diagnosis

came in that she had septicemia which had caused her internal

organs to fail and that it was just a matter of hours before she

died.

I sent Rashmita away with her family while I waited at

Poonams bedside watching as she struggled to breathe. At

that moment, I said to God: I have never asked you for anything

in my life but I am going to ask you something now. You gave

me this soul to look after but now You are taking her away. I

want this same soul back again. Poonam died a few minutes

later.

Guru Meets HisDisciple

47Raj Salvi


Rashmita gave birth to our second daughter, Mayura, in

1983. She was about two months old when we left her with my

in-laws to attend a wedding in Pune, a city about 200 miles

from Mumbai. At the reception hall, Rashmita and I were

standing to one side taking a break from meeting all the

relations.

I noticed my maternal aunt coming towards us with a

gentleman in tow. The tall, slim gentleman was dressed in a

safari suit (a fashion statement in the 80"s in India) came straight

to me and slapped me on the back saying What? You have a

daughter, right? She has a slight projection in front of her left

ear. Your first daughter has come back to you. Take good care

of her. And then he smiled. I vaguely remember my aunt

introducing him as Dada Maharaj.

I was so stunned by what he had just said that I felt as if the

ground had disappeared from beneath my feet and I was

standing in mid-air. I couldnt believe what I had just heard.

No one knew of my conversation with God at Poonams bedside

not even Rashmita. How did this man know?

Dada Maharaj then said: I will meet you again when the

time is right. And then he walked away with my aunt.

The next question that came to my mind was What did

he mean by projection in front of Mayuras left ear?

I turned to Rashmita and told her about my conversation

with God the night Poonam died. And when I asked her about

the projection, she was equally surprised.

There was an eclipse during the pregnancy and mother

had asked me to lie still in a darkened room and think of only

49Raj Salvi

One who lives for himself istruly dead and one who dies

for God is truly alive.

God until the eclipse had passed. I was not to touch anything

or do anything. I put my mothers superstition to the test and

had pinched the skin in front of my left ear. Mayura has a small

projection in front of her left ear in exactly the same place that I

had pinched.

For the next five years, I tried to get in touch with Dada

Maharaj but was unable to do so until he called me to meet him

in 1988.



When we are born into this world, our soul is encased in a

body and through this body and its senses we become aware or

conscious of the world around us. This concept of our being

has also been expressed by great souls like the Greek

philosopher Plato and the English poet William Wordsworth.

The soul in its journey through multiple realms of Creation,

picks up impressions or experiences. The Soul can be compared

to a car that has started on a long journey, the driver is

Consciousness. As the car starts on the journey, it stops at

various locations and the driver interacts with different places

and people some are pleasant experiences and some are not

like the dirt that splashes on the body of the car. These

impressions then get attached to the Consciousness.

Each individual soul has emerged out of God consciousness

and having separated itself from God Consciousness, is

searching for its own identity in the gross world. The soul starts

its journey through several realms of non-human existence like

Dadas Texas Letter

51Raj Salvistone, metal, plants, insects, fishes, birds and animals. By

experiencing each realm, the soul comes to the conclusion that

it is not part of that realm this journey takes millions of years.

After the animal realm, the soul reaches the human realm.

Upon acquiring a human body, the Consciousness now needs

to remove all the impressions it has gathered on its journey

through the realms so that it can begin its journey back to the

God Consciousness and merge into it. For the merger to happen,

the soul needs a Perfect Master to clean the soul of its

impressions and send it back on its homeward journey to God

where the soul merges back into God Consciousness. The soul

has finally reached Home.

The God Conscious soul can return back to the gross world

having both God Consciousness as well as human

consciousness. These are the Perfect Masters who come to show

the way to the other souls who wish to go back to God

Consciousness. Perfect Masters have spiritual powers and

hence the ability to remove the impressions on the soul.

All Perfect Masters have gone through the cycles of birth

and death and finally attained God Consciousness. The

gradual death of desires leads to this state of God Consciousness,

where all activities of life are conducted only by using the

language of the heart, which is Divine Love.

The Guru is the Perfect Master and since their

Consciousness is at both levels, they are able to control who

gets to meet them, at what time and which location. I met Dada

at the US embassy in Mumbai after a five year separation.

Subsequently, we met on several occasions and each meeting


was a lesson in itself.

Raj, I want to meet your Dada Maharaj tomorrow said

Kumar.

Kumar was my neighbor at Konkan Bhavan where we lived

after the birth of Mayura. Kumar was also my batch mate from

IIT.

Our new neighbor is an engineer said Rashmita as soon

as I entered our home one day. In a city like Mumbai, one does

not concern themselves too much with neighbors. Where is the

time? For me relaxation was a luxury as my days and sometimes

nights were preoccupied with running the foundry.

One day as I was unlocking the door, I noticed that my

neighbors door was open. I saw a man sitting inside and

immediately recognized him as Kumar from my IIT days. We

rekindled our friendship and whenever the opportunity rose,

both of us would sit and drink. He had children who were

around the same age as Mayura and our wives seemed to get

along. My conversation would often gravitate towards Dada

Maharaj. But Kumar showed no interest whatsoever.

Since we had left IIT in April, 1974, Kumar had gone to UK

and completed his Masters in Welding Technology. After

spending several years in Cameroon, he had accumulated a

sizeable amount of savings and had come home to India.

I have applied to all the major companies and should be

getting a job any day Kumar remarked sipping his glass of

rum. I have the qualifications, he added.

Two months passed and Kumar was still jobless. His

savings were depleting and he seemed quite desperate when

53Raj Salvihe said he wanted to meet Dada.

Why dont you meet me tonight at Shivaji Road, I said,

and we will go and meet Dada.

No, I am coming with you right now. I will be with you the

entire day, he stated. There was a hint of panic in his voice

which prompted me to ask

Is everything alright Kumar?

What am I going to feed my children tomorrow Kumar

whispered.

I had no idea that Kumars financial situation had

deteriorated to this level.

In that case, you can come along with me and we will

meet Dada at 9:00pm tonight.

Kumar shadowed me the entire day.

Is Dada Maharaj in? I asked as the door opened.

No, he has gone out

My heart sank for Kumars sake and I am certain that

Kumars did too.

I mean, he will be back in half hour the lady at the door

added.

Relieved we climbed down the stairs silently and spent the

next half hour in silence waiting for Dadas return.

Bring him inside, Raj. He is the last person I have to meet

today Dada remarked letting us in into the apartment. As we

entered, he continued, So you are not getting a job? You will

not get a job. Dada finished the sentence and turned to talk

with his son.

Hearing these words from Dada crushed Kumars world.


He had come with so much hope that Dada would show him

the way but instead he had dashed his hopes in one short

sentence.

You should be fasting on Saturdays Dada quickly

addressed Kumar before continuing his conversation with his

son.

What is fasting? Kumar whispered to me.

Before I could explain to him, Dada said, Yes Raj, tell him

what fasting is. He has never fasted in his life. Am I right,

Kumar?

Yes Kumar sheepishly replied.

As I was explaining the process of fasting, Dada got up

and bent down to Kumar in an attempt to touch his feet.

Please do it for me if not for yourself. Just for three Saturdays

and you will see a miracle

Seeing this humble gesture, I realized the love that a Perfect

Master expressed for everyone.

The minute I saw Dada Maharaj, my stress disappeared

Kumar expressed as soon as the door shut behind us.

That is the sign of a Perfect Master. Whenever one is in

their presence all fear, worries, stress disappear. They act like a

sponge absorbing all the worries troubling you. After emptying

you of all your problems, they fill you with a sense of well

being, I said.

During our way back home we decided that we would visit

the shrine of another Perfect Master, Sai Baba of Shirdi.

Three weeks passed since we had met Dada Maharaj.

Raj, look what has happened Kumar shouted from across

55Raj Salvithe open door.

Today is Monday and I have calls for job interviews from

almost all the companies I had applied to earlier

What Dada had promised had happened.

Dada had left for Texas and had given me the address to

write to him if it was urgent. I thought this good news should

be relayed to Dada immediately.

Kumar, here is Dadas address in Texas. Write to him I

said, handing him a piece of paper.

A couple of days later an Kumar came to meet me with an

envelope in his hand.

Just look at this! he said handing me and envelope.

The top of the envelope read Kumar, New Bombay. There

was no formal address and no postage stamp. It was from

Dada in Texas and it was a reply to Kumars letter. But only

two days had passed since he had sent the letter. How could

Dada have received the letter and also sent his reply in such a

short period of time?

Read the line where Dada has written Keep fasting on

Thursday as you have decided

I dont understand, didnt he tell you to fast on Saturdays?

I asked.

Yes, but because we went to Shirdi on Thursday, I told my

wife that henceforth I will fast on Thursdays. How did Dada in

Texas know about my conversation with my wife? Kumar

questioned.

Both of us had no clue. We just accepted that with Dada

Maharaj there were no conventional answers. We had no


answers to what had occurred. We realized that applying logic

from our engineering background seemed futile in trying to

explain the phenomenon that occurs in the spiritual realm.

If you do wrong, think Babais doing wrong. If you get a

pain, think it is Baba having apain. If you do all this

sincerely, you will knowsomething and forget yourself

and do all for Baba.

57Raj Salvi


Activities had begun in earnest now that I had received the

visa to go to Canada as per Dadas directions. However, there

were a number of loose ends to be tied up. Rashmi Shellcast

Foundrys suppliers had to be paid off, preparation for the trip

was to be started, relatives to say goodbye to, etc.

In India, when one undertakes a long journey, or leaving

ones country to go to a foreign place, it is customary to visit

religious places to pay ones respects and to obtain the

blessings of the Almighty for the new life ahead.

Vijay, I feel I should visit Haji Malang Babas Dargah at

Kalyan. He seems to be calling me. I told my friend.

Well, if you want to go, lets go. I know the way. Vijay

replied.

We boarded the local train at Kurla Station. As usual, the

local train was crowded and we had to push our way into the

compartment. The train ride was approximately an hour to

Kalyan Station. It was around 9:30 a.m. and the station was

Malang Baba WillMeet You!


crowded. Haji Malang is

a 300 year old dargah at

Kalyan, in Mumbai,

where Baba Abdul

Rehman Malang has been

buried. A dargah is a

shrine built over the grave

of a revered religious

figure, often a Sufi saint.

Haji Malang was a Sufi

saint who had come to

India in the 12th century

AD from the Middle East.

The dargah is located half

way up the mountains. To

reach the Dargah, you

have to climb steps carved into the side of the hill.

Vijay and I made our way towards the exit when suddenly

a man, who was coming from the opposite on the platform,

stopped directly in front of me and said:.

Malang Baba will meet you! Before I could react to his

remark he had disappeared into the crowd.

Vijay and I started to move along with the mass of pilgrims

who had come to pay their respects. There were all types of

people some looked affluent, some poor, young and old. We

walked on the dusty footpath heading towards the towering

hill.

The Dargah is on the top the hill and there are many steps

59Raj Salvi you sure you

can do it, Vijay

said as we

trudged over

small boulders.

I knew that

the road to Perfect

Masters is never a

smooth one. This

one was certainly

rough. My mind was locked on Vijays statement which

triggered memories of my trek to the origin of the Godavari

River near Nasik. I had gone with a group of my colleagues to

see the spot on top of the Trimbakeshwar Mountain where the

river originates.

Lets climb to the top rather than take the 700 steps, said

Ganeshan. All the rest of my colleagues were excited while I

was frozen hearing those words. I suffered from vertigo from

childhood. Sarthy, stay close to me, I whispered to my friend.

Before we started the climb, I spoke to the group, If any one

dislodges a stone from above, please yell stone! so that

whoever is below will hear and take precaution.

After about 15 minutes of climbing, Sarthy remained close

to me and the rest of the group was above us, out of sight. I

suddenly heard the dreadful word stone! My heart froze

with fright and as I looked down and saw the drop, my legs

froze with fear. I could hear the stone rumbling as it gathered

momentum. The fear in me was building up as I noticed that I

had about a foot clearance before I could see the boulder.

Raj move! You are in line with the boulder, Sarthy shouted

breaking my thoughts. He was to my right about 15 feet away

and could see the line of the boulder and my position. During

those days I used to open the innings in cricket and always

used the principle of moving away from the line of the fast ball

rather than ducking down. It dawned on me that this was a

similar situation and I had to be quick to miss the boulder. I

had my eyes glued to the point where I anticipated the boulder

to appear.

Suddenly I saw it - it was the size of a watermelon I threw

my head to one side and the boulder missed my head, grazed

my thigh and hurtled down, nearly a 1000 feet to the ravine

below.

You could have been killed! Sarthy shouted. As he came

closer I explained to him my vertigo problem.

Why are you sitting down on the step, Raj? Vijay broke

into my reverie.

I cant make it to the top to Babas Dargah. I am afraid of

heights. I will take Babas blessings from here. You go up and

bring the Prasad for me.

Are you crazy? Baba has called you and he will take you

up and bring you down safely. Vijay was annoyed. It dawned

on me that what he just said was true. Baba would protect me if

I put my full faith in him.

We quickly reached the top and found a huge crowd of

pilgrims between rows of shops selling tea, snacks, flowers,

etc. We paid our respects to Baba Malang and it was now time


61Raj Salvito go back home.

I was worried about the climb down as the steps were barely

six feet from the edge of the mountain. I knew my legs would

freeze if I looked down as the drop was almost 3000 feet.

Suddenly, a small child took hold of my hand, turned,

walked a few steps with me down the hill.

Baba will meet you the words were still fresh in my mind.

Vijay, look what is happening, I whispered to Vijay as

the child took hold of my hand. But even before Vijay could

register and look in my direction, the child had vanished into

the crowd.

Perfect Masters can come in different shapes and forms to

meet you. It is we who cannot see them in all.

The Master helps the seeker in hisown invincible ways, which have no

parallel in the ways of the world. But ifthe aspirant is to be the recipient of this

help, he must make a real effort tosurrender himself to the Divine will of

the Master.



Most of the episodes occurring with Dada in my life did not

have a logical explanation. I am convinced that through all

these exercises, Dada was preparing me for the spiritual path

which would finally culminate with the Avatar taking over.

It was a routine call to Dada Maharaj, the time was 9:30

pm. I was at my in-laws home and Rashmita was playing with

our daughter.

I dialed Dadas number and waited for the phone to be

answered. I heard Dadas wife at the other end.

You are Raj speaking right? I have been told by Dada to

tell you that you should immediately proceed to see your mother

and she hung up the phone.

I was quite startled. Seeing my startled expression,

Rashmita asked:

What happened? No one picked up the phone?

Dadas wife picked up. But I dont understand how she

knew that it was me on the phone?

After I told to Rashmita what Dadas wife had said, she

Total Obedience

63Raj Salvireplied, Well, you know that we have to go immediately

Within 15 minutes of the conversation we were on the road to

Sangli, a city about 300 miles from Mumbai.

For the last 40 years, my mother has been suffering with

schizophrenia. She lives with her stepbrother and his family in

a small village called Digraj, which is 5 km from Sangli, in the

province of Maharashtra. Medical treatment has not helped,

and as we headed to Digraj, all sorts of thoughts flashed through

my mind. Had something terrible happened to her? Was this

going to be the last time I would see her? I was sure Dada had

seen something bad and hence was giving me this opportunity

to see my mother.

As we reached Digraj, we both walked from the bus stop to

my mothers house.

This is a surprise remarked my mothers brother seeing

us standing in the doorway.

Is my mother ok? I asked.

Why do you ask? Did you hear something was wrong

with her from anyone? he questioned.

***

My mother spent her life in one corner of the old

dilapidated fortress that had been home to her for the past

40 years. Seeing the living condition of my mothers family,

one could never imagine what her antecedents had been.

Her family had been Chieftains in King Shivajis army

and the title of Sardar had been bestowed upon them. Her

ancestors on King Shivajis orders had attacked the Moghul


Emperor Aurangzeb in the Deccan Plateau. In the darkness

of night, they attacked Aurangzebs tents. However, he had

already moved to a different location. This daring deed was

rewarded with the title of Himmat Bahadur. The spoils of

this adventure were passed on to them by Shivaji Maharaj.

Unimaginable amounts of gold, diamonds and rubies was

brought back to Digraj. However the sudden recognition

and prosperity had made my mothers ancestors arrogant

and it is believed that one of her ancestors had ordered a

house servant to be whipped to death for spreading the

familys secrets. The servant pleaded innocence but his pleas

were ignored. Just before dying he cursed that he would

destroy the entire lineage for this injustice. His spirit still

haunts the fortress today.

The family has gone from riches to rags. They are literally

sitting on top of the entire gold, diamonds, rubies which

was the reward given to them, buried safely below them. It is

believed that the spirit of that servant stops anyone trying to

reach that treasure. But that is another story.

***

Raj come here! my mother called out of the room where

she lives. I saw her sitting there with a faint smile on her face

as if she was part of this entire episode of making me come to

see her.

I suddenly realized that Dada had just tested my total

obedience to the Master. There has to be immediate execution of

his command. It is very akin to a command given to a soldier

65Raj Salvi

All over the world, man burieshimself in egoism and

multicolored attachments to thefalse, depriving himself of the

intrinsic and self-sustainedhappiness that does not wane. He

seeks happiness through theperishing and transitional, and

invites upon himself the sufferingsof closed consciousness. One mustcontact the ocean of unfading blisswithin, and be free of the limitingduality of I and you, to unveil

the perennial spring ofimperishable sweetness which is

within each and all.

from the commander. The Guru wants total and unshakable

faith and obedience before he takes you as his trainee and shows

you the way to God.



Work at Business Combine Limited Foundry in Nasik, a

small township about 200 miles northeast of Mumbai, was

hectic. We were the primary factory in India producing

Spheroidal Graphite Iron Castings. We were all proud of the

fact that we were one of the leading companies in Indias that

contributed to its economic progress.

I had been given the opportunity to look after the sales and

engineering development of the castings on an all-India basis.

I was determined to put in maximum effort and do my job to the

best of my ability. My daily routine was to arrive an hour earlier

than my scheduled time, go through all my mail and then

handwrite my replies on paper for each customer. I would

leave the replies attached to the respective letters and leave

them on my secretarys desk. I would then go off to the shop

floor in the foundry to look at the development aspect of the

castings. I would return back around mid-day to sign the letters.

On one particular day my routine was broken. As I entered

the main office I saw my secretary, sitting alone with her head

Sister Act

67Raj Salvion the typewriter. I walked into my office, surprised at seeing

her at work so early in the morning. I settled down to start

answering my mail.

May I talk to you now, Sir? it was my secretary standing

at the door with tears streaming down her cheeks.

She was one of those people who always had a smile on

their face and seeing those tears made me realize something

grave had taken place.

I want to commit suicide she softly whispered.

I was immediately alert.

I want to hand in my resignation she added.

Please close the door and sit down. I said.

As she sat down, I enquired further

Tell me what the problem is?

The problem is my life at home she answered Everything

here is fine. In fact, coming to work is the best part of my day

she said with tears still flowing from her eyes. I have twin

sisters who are younger than me by nearly 15 years. When they

were born my father had a stroke and could not work anymore.

So in order to keep the family going, I stopped going to school

and started to work. Now, both my sisters have grown up and

graduated in Arts and are working in good jobs. They are

prettier than me, and earn more than me, so my mother is always

siding with them in arguments.

Thats normal, miss I interrupted.

Yes Sir, but recently they have started a new campaign

against me. Whenever we all sit for dinner they take away food

from my plate saying that this is from their earned money. I just


cant take this kind of humiliation any more. It would be better

for everyone if I killed myself rather than go home today and sit

at dinner with all of them.

Are there no male members in your house? I enquired.

My father is too old and moreover is disabled, and my

brother does not want to get involved she replied.

How old is your brother?

Hes working with Kirloskar Tractors as an Assistant

Manager It struck me strange that her brother was mature

enough to handle factory affairs but yet was totally incapable

of running his own home. He was my best option, I decided

after hearing her story. Taking his contact number at the

company, I added Give me 12 hours to solve this problem. If

after that I do not have solution you are free to do whatever you

wish.

I was hoping deep in my heart that I would still be able to

see her back at her desk in the morning smiling as usual.

As I opened the door, most of the office staff was gathered

outside my door. The expressions on their faces ranged from

sly insinuations to plain curiosity.

Whats going on, Mr. Salvi?, asked our Personnel

Manager, in a tone of voice that was both crude and offensive.

Get your mind out of the gutter, I said. I was in fact

doing your job! The other got the message from my tone and

got back to their desks.

May I speak to Mr. Avinash I asked the receptionist at

Kirslokar Tractors. She paged him and he came on the phone

by the reception.

69Raj SalviAvinash speaking.

My name is Raj Salvi, I work at Business Combine where

your sister works. In fact, I am her supervisor. I need to meet

you this evening for an urgent matter concerning your sister.

Can we meet at Mazda Restaurant? I will be there for dinner at

8:00pm and will be seated at Table Number 7. Please meet with

without fail.

There was a brief silence on the phone. I will come he

said and then abruptly hung up.

That evening I was waiting at Table Number 7 when at

8:00pm sharp, Avinash joined me.

This morning your sister confided in me that she wants to

commit suicide. She cant take the situation at home anymore.

Look Avinash interjected, I have a lot of responsibility

at work, so by the time I come home I want peace and to be left

alone. I eat my dinner, leave the house and come back once

everyone is asleep

I thought, here was a man who did not understand that

having an old, sick father meant that the responsibilities

naturally passed on to him as the eldest male in the family.

You cannot run away from the problem I said What

about your father?

Well he is too old and cannot do anything to control the

three of them Avinash informed me.

Can we go now and meet your father? I asked.

Avinash agreed and after paying the bill at Mazda, we

caught a rickshaw to where the Kale family lived.

Nasik is a place of pilgrimage for the Hindus; the place


where the heroes of the epic Ramayan were exiled. There are

several ancient temples along the Godavari River which starts

at the top of Mount Trimbakeshwar. The Kumbh Mela which is

a gathering of the sadhus (religious ascetics) occurs in Nasik

every 15 years. These sadhus bathe in the Godavari River in

thousands during a particular time of the year and day. Several

people even lose their lives in the stampede which occurs.

My secretarys father was a devout Hindu and looked after

the upkeep of some of these older temples. It was a summer

evening, the river bed was dry, so I asked Avinash if he could

bring his father to the river bed so that we could sit on the

stones and discuss the problem without risking anyone

eavesdropping.

I waited patiently on the rocks for them to come. I could

soon see them coming in the darkness. Avinash was assisting

an old man wearing a dhoti and a white shirt with glasses. The

man could barely walk. I greeted them in the semi darkness, the

nearby streetlights allowing us just enough light to see our

features.

I am a tired man. I cannot interfer

I AM, I AM NOT, I AM Part I

Documents

Transcript of I AM, I AM NOT, I AM Part I