The Practical Sketcher-A Complete and Practical Method of Sketching Garments 1915
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Transcript of Practical Grace Complete Book
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Chapter One:
An All-Too-Common, Incredibly-Bad Day
Kate rolled over and looked at her alarm clock. It was
seven fifteen. Once again, she had overslept. With her heart
pounding, Kate jumped out of bed and made a mad dash for the
shower. So much for getting up earl and spending time reading
the !ible," she thought to herself. I haven#t gotten it done in
weeks. I#m such a lous $hristian." !etween the running late and
the spiritual failure," Kate alread felt grump . %nd, as she turned
on the water and climbed into the shower, she couldn#t stop
thinking to herself, I#ve got to do better." &hen, suddenl , her
mind turned to a long list of past failures. Who am I kidding'"she said out loud, I#m never going be good enough."
Kate got out of the shower and started to get dressed. %s
she did, she couldn#t help but take a second (and third) look in the
mirror. I#m getting fat," she sighed. When she began to sa that
she needed to get back to the g m, the sentence died on her lips.She knew she wouldn#t, and a new e*plosion of self+hatred made
her cheeks flush. %lthough Kate didn#t reali e it, what happened
ne*t was a defense mechanism. -o longer able to handle the
feelings of failure, a shift took place in her mind and Kate#s anger
turned full force upon her husband. e never appreciates me,"Kate grumbled. If he#d help more around the house ma be I
could get to the g m once in awhile." %s she finished in the
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bathroom and ran downstairs, Kate itemi ed her husband#s
shortcomings.
Standing in the kitchen pouring herself a cup of coffee,
Kate was continuing to mull over her list when 0rank, her
unsuspecting husband, walked in. 1ood morning," he said
cheerfull . 1ood morning," Kate responded 2uietl , in her best
passive aggressive tone. 0rank didn#t catch on. %fter all, what
could he have done this earl in the morning' e continued tr ing
to make small talk. Want to go out for dinner tonight'" he asked.
Sure," Kate mumbled. Where should we go'" 3ou decide,"
Kate answered, ou didn#t care what I wanted last time, wh
should tonight be an different'" Surprised and hurt, 0rank
disappeared behind his newspaper. Immediatel Kate regretted her words, et a glance at the clock told her she had to go. 1athering a
hast breakfast, she hurried out the door. !ut once outside, Kate
paused. She wanted to go back in and apologi e, however her
pride thought better of it. What I said really is true," Kate justified
to herself. e reall is inconsiderate." % strange mi*ture ofanger, shame, and sadness welled up inside of her as she jumped
into the car.
%n hour later, Kate sat at her desk when an email popped
up from her boss. e wanted to speak with her as soon as she was
free. Kate took a deep breath and headed over to his office. 4im,her boss, could be kind, sometimes, but make the slightest mistake
and he#d let ou know it. 3ou wanted to see me," she said, poking
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her head in the doorwa . Shut the door and sit down," he replied.
Kate shut the door and sat down. 6et me just cut to the chase,"
he said, I need better performance from ou." &aken completel
off+guard, Kate stammered, 7h, what#s wrong'" 3our report,"
4im began patroni ingl , got several critical facts wrong." !ut,
sir," Kate responded, tr ing her best to hide the nervousness in her
voice, I don#t run the data. I just put in what the research
department gives me." Well, then ou should check it," he
responded.
!ut, sir, I...," Kate didn#t know what to sa . She had
nothing to do with the research and couldn#t possibl check it.
&his is just a s mptom of the bigger problem, Kate," he added.
3ou and I both know ou haven#t been focused on our worklatel ." Kate didn#t know this. In fact, she had been sta ing late
nearl ever night for a month. I, no," she began, I#ve been
tr ing m best." Well," 4im declared, I guess our best just isn#t
good enough. -ow get it together, Kate, or ma be we#ll need to
start making some tough choices." !ut," Kate started. -o #buts,#Kate. 3ou do our job or someone else will. 8o ou understand'"
3es, sir," she answered. 1ood," said her boss. I#m glad we got
a chance to address this head on. 4ust pick it up, Kate, and we can
forget all about this."
Kate walked back to her desk in a total da e. What in the world am I doing wrong' I don#t make the research. %nd I#ve
been working ten hour da s because &ed has missed all his
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deadlines." % variet of choice names for her boss began to pass
through her mind. Kate sat down and tried to get back to work,
but it seemed impossible. She felt stupid and embarrassed, and,
although she knew she hadn#t done an thing wrong, a little voice
inside her head said, 3ou know ou aren#t good enough, Kate. It
was just a matter of time until the figured it out too." :otivated
b fear, she regrouped, took a deep breath, and turned her
attention back to the computer monitor. 0or the rest of the
morning Kate worked feverishl . If I work harder," she thought,
ever thing will be alright."
When lunch time finall came, she headed toward the
dinning room. !ut just as she was about to enter, Kate heard her
friend !eth talking to someone inside. 4im finall spoke to Kate,"!eth said in a confidential tone. Kate stopped in her tracks. She
considered !eth her closest friend at work. It#s about time," came
the repl . It was &ed, the one whose irresponsibilit had caused her
so man headaches. Well," she thought to herself, some friend."
&hen Kate tried to think of something negative about !eth,an thing to tr to critici e her, but !eth was skinn and ever one
liked her, so nothing came to mind. aving lost her appetite, she
decided to skip lunch and go for a walk. Kate felt so lonel . She
wanted to call 0rank, but when she remembered how she had
treated him this morning, she thought better of it. %s she walked outside, Kate#s heart was so empt she
thought she could die. It seemed like ears since she had heard a
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Chapter Two:
Perfection or Else
&here is nothing but 1od#s grace. We walk upon it= we breathe it=
we live and die b it..." +>obert 6ouis Stevenson
1race and peace to ou from 1od our 0ather and the 6ord 4esus
$hrist." + / $orinthians /?9
8o ou ever feel like ou just can#t measure up' Well
ou#re right, ou can#t. !ut for some reason that doesn#t stop ou
from tr ing. %nd, sadl , it doesn#t stop ou from e*pecting thatothers will tr to measure up too. 8on#t worr , ou aren#t alone.
-earl ever one ou#ve ever met has this problem. I certainl do.
It#s a problem about perfection and judgment and anger and poor
self+image and critical thinking, among other things. 3et, then
again, it isn#treally about an of those things= the are justs mptoms. -o the real problem has to do with grace, or, more
accuratel , a lack of grace. We don#t have enough of it. We don#t
give enough of it. Worst of all, we don#t even reali e we#re missing
it. In fact, we live without the slightest consideration of our
desperate need for it.I#m not talking about the grace that saves ou from our
sins. If ou are a $hristian ou probabl understand that grace.
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What I#m talking about is the other half of grace, the practical,
da +to+da , power+to+live grace. 0ew of us understand that grace.
0ew of us have even heard of that grace. Instead, we live b the
opposite of grace, something called the law. If the law sounds
familiar to ou it should. In $hristian circles, the law means the
perfect standard of behavior. In and of itself the standard isn#t a
problem. 1od set the standard. It#s good. 3et, in the pages of the
-ew &estament, the law has another meaning. It refers to our
attempts to live up to the standard of perfection b our own
strength. So when people think the can earn their wa to heaven
b being good enough, the are living b the law. $hristians,
however, don#t believe the can earn their wa to heaven. &he
don#t tr to find salvation through the law. 3et, and here is thegreat traged , most $hristians do tr to live their dail lives b the
law.
In other words, most $hristians tr to do the ever da
stuff of life b their own strength. &he tr to achieve their goals
b their own strength. &he tr to change their behavior b theirown strength. &he tr to sustain their emotional health b their
own strength. &he tr to manage their relationships b their own
strength. %nd, just as the law doesn#t work for salvation, it also
doesn#t work for dail life. &he one word that summari es the law
is perform . $hristians who live b the law are $hristians who aretr ing to perform. 3ou can determine whether or not ou are one
of these $hristians b the amount of emotional energ ou spend
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on what ou shouldbe or shoulddo. I should be nice." I should
read m !ible more." I should do more for others." I should
pra longer." !ut these shoulds are not just about spiritual"
things. $hristians who live b the law appl shouldto ever area of
their life. I should have done a better job." I should not have
said that." I should forgive them."
%ll of these shoulds take their toll, for the ver simple
reason that ou will never be able to accomplish them. %nd this
brings us to the nast side of the law. &he law doesn#t politel
re2uest that ou do these things, it demands that ou do. %s a
result, when ou can#t measure up, ou aren#t good enough. It#s all
or nothing with the law. 1et it right and ou are acceptable, at least
for the moment. 1et it wrong and ou are unacceptable, until ouget it right. -ow please don#t be deceived into thinking this is a
book for helping t pe+% overachievers. It isn#t. It is a book for
ever da men and women who love 1od, but who can#t
understand wh the remain stuck. It is a book for $hristians who
critici e themselves and others, who incessantl pla back all oftheir failings, whose relationships aren#t working and the don#t
know wh , who are acting out in self+destructive wa s, who are
e*cessivel angr , and who struggle with selfishness. In other
words, this book is for people like ou and me. %nd, although we
ma not reali e it, the root of our problems is the law. Perform.Perform or else! It is strain that is killing us. We are pushing
ourselves to carr an impossible burden, and we are collapsing
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beneath the weight.
!ut, again, this law problem is not e*clusive to $hristians.
It is a problem for an one who is tr ing to be good enough b
their own strength. %nd, with the e*ception of a few deviant souls,
that means ever one. %s such, wherever ou#ve been in this world
and wherever ou#ll go, ou will encounter men and women who
are tr ing to measure up, but who lack the power to accomplish it.
%nd all of this striving is causing a great deal of pain, et not just
for the strivers, but also for those around them. 0or this is the
saddest part, law+strivers hurt others. %lthough the ma not mean
to, people tr ing to perform often inflict serious wounds. &his
happens two wa s. 0irst, law+strivers put their standard onto
others, resulting in judgment. Second, when law+strivers go downunder the weight of their heav burden, the collapse takes others
down with them. %ll of the pain in our life isn#t self+inflicted. If
ou live in this world, I can guarantee that ou#ve been harmed b
another#s attempts to satisf the demands of perform or else .
&hankfull , however, there is an answer to all of thisperformance= an entirel different wa to live. ! the grace of
1od, there is grace. %nd it pla s b a totall different set of rules.
7nlike with the law, with grace there is no perform or else . &he
relenting standard, with its fear of condemnation, has been
replaced with unconditional love. Imagine what our life would belike if ou could fail and it was oka . Imagine what our life would
be like if ou didn#t have to continuousl repla all of our worst
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moments. Imagine what our life would be like if ou had an
unlimited resource of emotional fuel to handle the hurts inflicted
upon ou b others. %nd imagine what our life would be like if
ou could accept the people in our life as the are right now, warts
and all. &hat is what grace does, and that is what ou#ve been
missing. !ut ou don#t have to miss it an longer. 4ust as the grace
that saves us is a free gift, so is the grace b which we live. It is
available right now, no strings attached.
The Two !ystems
In /CB/ a low budget film called Chariots of Fire surprised
the motion picture industr and won the %cadem %ward for !est
Dicture. &he movie tells the compelling stor of 1reat !ritainEsune*pected success on the track at the /C5; Ol mpic 1ames. In
realit , however,Chariots of Fire is not about the Ol mpics, but
rather about two men, Fric 6iddell and arold %brahams, and
their relentless pursuit of e*cellence. !oth 6iddell and %brahams
are driven to great heights, but that is where the comparison ends,for the two men have ver different sources of motivation.
6iddell, a $hristian, runs, as he so famousl puts it in the film, to
feel 1od#s pleasure." %brahams, a 4ew, runs for justification,
attempting to prove himself and his 4ewish heritage, which has
been a source of ridicule throughout his entire life. %t one point in the film, %brahams has come to watch
6iddell race, tr ing to si e up his competition. It is a four hundred
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meter race, and around the first corner one of 6iddell#s fellow
racers cheats, deliberatel knocking 6iddell to the ground.
!leeding, battered, and far behind, 6iddell rises to his feet and
begins to run like a man possessed. >emarkabl , he catches the
pack. &hen, he catches the leader. %nd, just at the tape, 6iddell
thrusts himself across the line and collapses in a heap upon the
ground. Somehow he has won. :eanwhile, %brahams watches on
in a mi*ture of ama ement, anger, and fear. 6iddell has something
%brahams does not, and %brahams knows it.
6ater the two men s2uare off for the first time. &he run
neck and neck, onl for 6iddell to pull awa at the end. 0ollowing
the race, %brahams is crushed, overwhelmed b defeat. e sits
alone in the stands and repla s his loss over and over. 0inall , %brahams# girlfriend sits down ne*t to him and tries to console
him. When her efforts are in vain, she grows frustrated and
concludes, If ou can#t take a beating perhaps it#s for the best."
&o which %brahams fires back, I don#t run to take beatings, I run
to win. %nd if I can#t win I won#t run." &he scene concludes with %brahams, head down in despair, proclaiming, I just don#t know
what to do." is identit is tied to his performance.
Fventuall , both men make the Ol mpic s2uad, and the
join their fellow athletes aboard an ocean liner which will take them
across the %tlantic to the games. While onboard, 6iddell gets somehorrible news. is 2ualif ing heat for the /GG meters will be run
on Sunda . 6iddell has pledged never to run on the Sabbath.
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8espite intense pressure, 6iddell refuses to break his pledge to
1od. e wants to run. e wants to win, but he doesn#t have to.
(Fventuall , 6iddell gets a reprieve when a countr man relin2uishes
his spot in the ;GG meters, which does not race on Sunda .
%lthough he had not prepared for the distance, 6iddell wins.) %ll
of this opens the door for %brahams who goes on to upset the
favored %mericans and earn a gold medal. 3et something is still
missing. %brahams has achieved his goal. e has become the
fastest man in the world, and he is certainl glad, but, for some
ine*plicable reason, it hasn#t taken awa the ache inside.
&he stor of %brahams and 6iddell perfectl mirrors the
two s stems b which we can live our lives. %brahams runs b the
law. e must achieve. If he doesn#t he is a failure. 3et even if he wins it is still not enough. It doesn#t satisf , not full . Derforming
well can#t resolved the pain. Will he be able to win ne*t time' $an
he alwa s be the best' :otivated b fear, %brahams has succeeded,
but there are still lurking 2uestions. %nd beneath all of these
2uestions la s the one that is central, %m I now worth of beingloved'" 6iddell, however, runs b grace. e wants to achieve so
that his eavenl 0ather will be pleased, nothing more. When his
chance to win is gone, 6iddell is sad. !ut achievement does not
define him, 1od#s love defines him, and, win or lose, 6iddell knows
that he will still be loved. 1race gives 6iddell an inner+power thatnothing can take awa . It is what %brahams wants and needs,
although he doesn#t recogni e it.
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%brahams lives b the law s stem. 6iddell lives b the
grace s stem. &he law s stem never satisfies. &he grace s stem is
complete fulfillment. &he law s stem leaves ou angr . &he grace
s stem brings peace. &he law s stem strives to achieve in a 2uest
for personal worth. &he grace s stem finds achievement in
response to unending acceptance. &he law s stem longs to earn
love. &he grace s stem receives love as a gift. &he law s stem
loses even if it wins, because winning must alwa s be repeated.
&he grace s stem wins even if it loses, because it was never about
winning. %nd ever one lives their dail lives b one of these two
s stems. It is grace or law= there are no other choices. %nd, if ou
do not consciousl choose the grace s stem, ou are, b default,
choosing the law s stem.
Choosin" the #aw
So wh is the law s stem the default' ow did it get this
wa ' &here are lots of reasons. &he primar one is theological,
but we will e*amine that in depth in the ne*t chapter. 0or now, thebest e*planation is found in a simple stor . It is a stor about the
daughter of a woman I once knew who was having a difficult time
adjusting to a new $hristian school. %t the school the used
something called a grace card as a means of maintaining discipline.
!asicall , the grace card was part of a behavior modifications stem. If a student misbehaved the would get their card
punched. 1et enough punches and the student would get a
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conse2uence. -ow, there is nothing wrong with children learning
conse2uences, but, as the woman e*plained it, the s stem had
gotten out of control. If ou made the slightest mistake ou got
our card punched. Dut the header on our paper wrong, ou got a
punch. &alk too loudl in the hall, ou got a punch. %pparentl ,
the s stem had gone from one of conse2uences to one of
condemnation. %nd this oung girl, who had alwa s been a well+
behaved student, was becoming a nervous wreck.
I believe this is what has happened to each one of us. We
all have a grace card, and it represents acceptance. It is our ticket
to being loved, and 1od intended that it would remain
unblemished. In other words, e wanted us all to be loved without
condition. !ut in this broken world things have gone horribl wrong. Instead of being loved unconditionall , our card is
constantl getting punched. If we are the slightest bit imperfect, as
we all are, someone comes along and punches our grace card. It
hurts, and so, in order to tr and prevent it from happening again,
we attempt to do better. 3et, we can#t do it, and there is, oncemore, someone else with a hole punch. &his happens over and
over again, sometimes even when we haven#t done an thing wrong
at all. It makes us a nervous wreck, but we get the message.
Derform and ou will be loved. 0ail and ou will get hurt. %gain,
the problem here isn#t that there are conse2uences for ourbehavior. 1od is all for conse2uences= the lovingl teach us about
realit . -o, the problem here is condemnationHpunishment
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without love.
6et me sa this again for the sake of clarit . Over the
course of our life people have e2uated our performance with
our personal worth. If ou do well the love ou. If ou do
poorl the condemn ou and withdrawal. Since no one can live
without love, ou adapt, learning how to perform. It never full
satisfies, but at least when ou do well there is a conditional love,
and conditional love, it seems, is better than no love at all. &he
s stem is alread 2uite d sfunctional, but it gets far worse. 6aw+
strivers, projecting their own warped sense of the perfect standard,
come along and punch our card for the most trivial of reasons,
and sometimes for no reason at all. &hen, like the little girl at the
$hristian school, ou begin to live in constant fear of having ourcard punched. Fventuall , and it doesn#t take long, our fear takes
its toll and this unhealth s stem begins to replicate itself, making
ou into a law+striver too. 6ittle b little, one punch at a time, the
e*ternal message of perform or else becomes an internal message, and
soon the process is complete. 7nknowingl , ou have chosen tolive our life b the law s stem. %nd, the saddest part of all, ou
are doing it in hopes of being loved and accepted.
oles in our grace card, that#s what does it, and there are
three main places where this hole punching occurs. It happens in
our performance+based families. It happens when we interact withperformance+based people. %nd it happens b living in a
performance+based culture. We#ll look first at the punch of the
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performance+based famil .
The P$nch of the Performance-based %amily
% short time ago, I heard &err Walling, founder of 6eader
!reakthru, e*plain wh he has alwa s struggled for acceptance. e
traced the problem back to his father. is dad was a stereot pical
engineer, incredibl strong on the intellectual side but notabl weak
on the emotional. One da at little+league, with his 8ad watching
from the stands, &err pitched the game of his life, a two+hitter.
0ollowing the game an e*uberant &err was met b his anal tical
father. &o &err #s surprise, his dad immediatel took a notepad out
of his pocket, flipped to some notes, and e*plained that if &err
had thrown a curve+ball to the first batter who got a hit and a low+fastball to the second, he would have had a no+hitter. &err
protested, sa ing that he did the best that he could and that his
dad#s response hurt his feelings. 7nable to handle &err #s
response, his father withdrew and didn#t speak to him for a week.
On that baseball diamond, &err got his grace card punched. &his is not about critici ing our families, for I#m an
imperfect father m self and I know that I#m in no position to
judge. !ut we do need to understand realit Hthe truth behind
who we are and how we got here. With this in mind, it is t picall
from our families that we receive the first punches to our gracecards. 6ife is hard, and ever one in our families struggle with the
difficulties of this fallen world. :oms, dads, grandmas, grandpas,
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uncles, aunts, brothers, and sisters all face heav responsibilities,
relationship pressures, hurts and disappointments, and financial
concerns= and these hardships, among others, can bring them into
the famil unit with damage to their grace cards. In other words,
our families are often filled with people who have, themselves,
alread been made into law+strivers. %s such, the most important
people in our lives can, unwittingl , do what all law+strivers do,
punch our cards.
In some families the punches are obvious, like with &err #s
dad after the baseball game. &he take awa message for the child is
3ou must be perfect." In other families, however, the punches are
passive, like when a parent constantl disapproves of their child#s
choices. ere, the child absorbs the message 3ou never doan thing right," et doesn#t even reali e where the message came
from. In still other families the punches are so catastrophic, as in
cases of abuse, that the pain of the take awa message, 3ou are
unlovable," forces the whole episode deep into the subconscious.
%nd, sadl , in some families there are indirect punches, caused bsuch things as divorce, illness, or death. In these cases, the child
unfairl creates their own take awa message, 3ou should have
done more."
Of all the punches to our grace cards, those received from
our families are often the most influential in turning us into law+strivers. &his is because 1od#s original purpose for families works
against itself. Originall , 1od created the famil to serve as an
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incubator, a safe place for children to grow and develop. &he
famil was intended to be 1od#s first grace place , where we flourish
in an environment of unconditional love. !ut, in our sinful world,
families have become broken. &he are still incubators, but,
unfortunatel , not ever thing that grows there is good. %nd,
without unconditional love, we can find ourselves nurtured right
into the law s stem.
The P$nch of Performance-based People
I had found the perfect job to help me work m wa
through graduate school. I would teach math part+time at a
parochial school. &he pa was decent. &he hours were ideal. %nd
the students were both bright and motivated. !efore I took thejob, however, there was one warning signHI had heard whisperings
about the previous ear. %pparentl , a long+time staff member had
a major feud with the principal, and, as a result, was no longer with
the school. It was nothing more than gossip, I thought, and I
dismissed the turmoil, a choice I would soon regret. %t first, other than the t pical challenges of teaching,
things went great. I enjo ed the job and the students seemed to
enjo me. &he onl possible cause for concern involved m
interactions with the principalHthe were alwa s rather cold. 3et I
chalked the coldness up to her personalit t pe and thought littlemore about it, until it came time for staff evaluations. One da the
principal came into m classroom to observe. We were doing a
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review for a test, and I thought that I did a nice job preparing the
students, but otherwise it was rather uneventful. 6ater, it was time
for m review. I entered the principal#s office e*pecting a few kind
words and perhaps a pointer or two, but I got something far
different. !asicall , the conversation began like this? When I hired
ou I though ou would be able to teach. 7nfortunatel , that
doesn#t seem to be the case." She went on to sa that I had done a
poor job in the review, had missed several teachable moments, and
had numerous other serious defects. &aken completel off+guard,
m stammered responses amounted to, I#m not sure I agree with
this, but I#m sorr . I am imperfect, and I#d be more than happ to
tr to work on some of these things." %s far as she was
concerned, however, it was alread settled, I didn#t know how toteach. She didn#t fire me, but she made it clear that I#d need to
make different plans for the following school ear.
%fterward, I discovered that I wasn#t the onl one who had
walked into a trap. Several da s later as I talked with the g m
teacher, she began fighting back tears as she described her ownreview. &oda , in retrospect, I can see all of the tell+tale signs. &he
principal was a law+striver. 0or her, ever thing was absolute, black
or white. 3ou either did things e*actl like she would do them or
ou were bad, be ond repair. %s we#ll discuss in more detail later in
the book, law+strivers project their unobtainable standard ofperfection onto others, and judgment is the result. !ut, at the time,
I didn#t understand what was happening. It was all just so unfair,
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and I was powerless. On that da , m grace card took a serious hit,
and the world became much less safe. Perform or else!
If ou have never had our grace card punched b a
performance+based person I think ou are probabl from another
planet. We have all been there. 3our coworker blames the failure
of the project on ou. &he person behind ou in the check+out
line grumbles audibl when ou can#t find our credit+card. 3our
neighbor makes a not+so+subtle comment about the appearance of
our lawn. &he technical support worker patroni es ou. 3our
mother+in+law takes a shot at our cooking. % friend unleashes an
une*pected fur of personal criticisms. &he teacher singles out
our faults. 3our spouse critici es our weight. In big wa s and
small, nearl ever da , someone comes along, takes our gracecard, and gives it a punch.
4ust as in our families, the people around us are struggling
with the difficulties of life and their own inabilit to measure up,
and often these struggles get taken out on us. It wasn#t meant to
be this wa . 1od intended mankind to love each other, but theoriginal plan has been broken. Deople are bent and hurting and
living b the law. %s such, ever one reading this book has, at one
point or another, received several definingpunches, inflicted b
performance+based people, that have left deep scars. In some cases
the puncher ma have been a stranger, but for most it was someonemore significant, like an authorit figure or a friend. 3ou see, the
more trust we#ve invested or the more respect we#ve given or the
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more approval we#ve sought, the more devastating can be the
resulting punch to our grace card.
The P$nch of a Performance-based C$lt$re
Social istorian 4oan 4acobs !rumberg has done notable
research on the self+image of oung girls. In her book The Body
Project , !loomberg compares oung women#s diaries from one
hundred ears ago to those of their modern counterparts. er
findings are painfull revealing.
In the twentieth centur , the bod has become the central
personal project of %merican girls. &his priorit makes
girls toda vastl different from their ictorian
counterparts. %lthough girls in the past and presentdispla man common developmental characteristicsH
such as self+consciousness, sensitivit to peers, and an
interest in establishing an independent identit Hbefore
the twentieth centur , girls simpl did not organi e their
thinking about themselves around their bodies. &oda ,man oung girls worr about the contours of their bodies
Hespeciall shape, si e, and muscle toneHbecause the
believe that the bod is the ultimate e*pression of self./
Wh do ou think girls have begun to e2uate their personal identit
with their appearance' I#m not sure an e*planation is reallnecessar , but I will answer the 2uestion nonetheless. Fver where
a girl turns, her value is e2uated with her appearance. 0rom the
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television screen to the dolls in her bedroom, girls learn that their
looks matter. If ou have an hourglass figure ou are desirable. If
ou don#t ou aren#t. %nd, in this culture, desirable means lovable.
So, in other words, the cultural message is simple, look good or else.
8oes that sound at all familiar' It should, for it#s nothing
more than a variation of the law. %nd our culture offers this
message about things other than just appearance. ow much
mone do ou make' If ou make a lot ou are valuable. If ou
don#t make a lot ou aren#t. What degrees do ou hold' If ou
have several ou are valuable. If ou don#t have an ou aren#t. 8o
ou have an important job' If it comes with a lot of power or
influence ou are valuable. If it doesn#t ou aren#t. ow about
our house, our car, and our to s' If the are nice (another wordfor e*pensive) ou are valuable. If the aren#t, ou aren#t.
6et me sum up our performance+based culture with an
illustration. In 5GGC, Susan !o le, an unassuming choir singer from
Scotland, stepped upon a stage to compete in a !ritish television
show looking for undiscovered talent. 0rom the beginning sheseemed out+of+place. er ph sical appearance wasn#t glamorous
and her answers to the judges# 2uestions were awkward, nothing
like what ou are use to seeing on prime+time television.
:eanwhile, the judges, the hosts, and the audience were overtl
laughing at her. &he were laughing at her, until she began to sing.Suddenl , ever mouth in the auditorium dropped open. Susan
!o le had perfect pitch and the range of an opera singer. On the
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internet, the video went viral. %nd, overnight, Susan went from
laughing stock to world+renown celebrit .
Wh did Susan !o le suddenl go from value+less to
invaluable' &he answer is simpleHshe performed well. Susan had
a talent that made her special. !ut what if the audition had gone
differentl ' What if, when she had begun to sing, her voice
sounded awful' Juite simpl , she would have been laughed off the
stage. We live in a performance+based culture. &hose who can#t
measure up to the loft standards of appearance, talent, and
success are dismissed. %nd those who can perform' &he are
applauded, at least as long as the can continue to perform.
Obviousl , 1od has something vastl different in mind. I
praise ou because I am fearfull and wonderfull made," wrote8avid. &o 1od, we have value simpl because e made us. 1od
fashioned us in is image, and that, in and of itself, is enough. We
don#t need to be thin and muscular. We don#t need to have a
prestigious job or an overflowing bank account. We don#t need to
own a giant house or drive a fanc car. %nd we don#t need to sing,speak, or dance well. Dut simpl , 1od never had an intention of
t ing our value to our performance. 3et our culture isn#t operating
b the grace s stem= our culture is operating b the law s stem.
%nd so, if ou can#t measure up to the standard, there will alwa s
be people there to snicker and to sneer. In other words, if oucan#t measure up, this world will be 2uick to punch our grace card.
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The Depth of the Pain
So we#ve seen three of the major places where we get our
grace card punched? performance+based families, performance+
based people, and this performance+based culture. -ow consider
for a moment the combined power of these three forces. In a law+
based famil , ou ma hear the message of perform or else hundreds
of thousands of times. In fact, ou ma hear it so man times that
ou carr that voice with ou for our entire life. &hen, ever
single da , we interact repeatedl with law+strivers at work, at home,
and in our communities. &hese people have their own standard of
perfection, and the too make it clear that we must perform or else .
0inall , even when we look to take a break from the stresses of life
and turn our minds to entertainment, the voice of our culture is,once again, nothing more than the voice of the law. So, for hours
on end, we stare at the world#s most beautiful, talented, and
successful people, and hear perform or elserepeated over and over
and over again. When ou think of it like this, is it an wonder that
most of us are living b the law s stem' It would, I think, be amiracle if we were not.
In his book Counterfeit Idols , &imoth Keller tells a poignant
stor that shows us where all of this performance leadsHto a
break down.
% friend of mine has reached the top of his profession,but an addiction to prescription drugs forced him to resign
his position and enter a period of rehabilitation for
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substance abuse. e had become addicted in part because
of the e*pectation that he should alwa s be productive,
d namic, upbeat, and brilliant. !ut he refused to blame
other people#s demands for his collapse. : life was built
on two premises," he said. &he first was that I could
control our opinion and approval of me through m
performance. &he second wasHthat was all that mattered
in life."5
&he voice that Keller#s friend had internali ed told him that
acceptance re2uired performance. It was the voice of the law
s stem, and it resulted in an addiction that nearl destro ed him.
While for us the details ma be different, a life lived b the law
s stem is alwa s headed toward the same endHself+destruction.6ater in the book we#ll e*amine in more detail the practical
effects of living b the law. 0or now it is enough to simpl
recogni e that the law is killing ou. &he problem is that a law+
striver is like a dancing bear. When the show starts the bear twists
and twirls about to the applause of the crowd. !ut how did thebear learn to dance' e learned to dance out of fear and pain. If
he wouldn#t dance someone would withhold his basic needs. %nd,
if he still wouldn#t dance, someone would strike him until he did.
So the bear learned to dance. We are that bear. Fver da , when
the lights come on, we get up and twirl about. 3et, underneath thesurface, we are angr and resentful and tired, so ver tired. !ut we
need to perform just to survive, just to avoid being hurt, and so we
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dance, and we dance, and we dance again. 7ntil, at last, when we
can dance no longer, we drop.
Dlease don#t underestimate the impact the law ma have on
our life. 0or most of us it has been ingrained into the ver core
of our beings, teaching us that we must strive to be loved. !ut, as
we#ll see, 1od has made another wa . 4ust as e has separated our
performance from our salvation, e has also separated our
performance from our identit . We are saved b grace and we are
loved b grace. &he grace s stem stops all of this striving for
acceptance. &he grace s stem stops all of this performing. %nd
the grace s stem will also teach us to dance= not because we have
to, but, rather, because we want to.
I can#t wait to talk about grace. 3et, before I do, there isstill a bit more we need to understand about the law. In order for
us to have the complete picture of just how we got this wa , we
need to have a brief theolog lesson. 8on#t worr , it won#t be
nearl as boring as it sounds. >eal theolog is practical and life+
giving. !esides, we can#t full appreciate what 1od is giving us inthe grace s stem until we full understand what e is saving us
from. %nd, as we#ll see, 1od is saving us from The Same ld Story .
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Chapter &:
The !ame Old !tory
Sin is, essentiall , a departure from 1od." +:artin 6uther
&ell me, ou who want to be under the law, are ou not aware of
what the law sa s'" +1alatians ;?5/
% short time back, I was speaking on the two s stems?
grace and law. %fterward, a oung man came up to me with a
2uestion. %re ou sa ing that the law is bad'" I assured him that
I was not. :ore recentl , m wife taught a !ible stud that I had
written, which included a section on living b the law. She said thegroup was confused. I wasn#t surprised. 0or us, centuries removed
from first centur 4udaism, the concept of the law can cause a
great deal of confusion. &he problem begins with semantics, for in
the -ew &estament the term the law actuall refers to more than
one idea. When we hear the law the first thing we think of is 1od#sstandard of moralit , like the &en $ommandments. %nd, we are
right, the law does mean 1od#s standard of moralit , but that#s not
all it means. &he %postle Daul, our chief instructor on the topic,
referred to the law in two wa s. One wa was 1od#s moral
standard, which he obviousl thought was good. &he other wa was a s stem of striving to fulfill that standard b one#s own
strength, which, as he made abundantl clear, he did not think was
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good.
So, when it comes to the idea of the law, there are two
common problems. 0irst, we don#t recogni e the different
meanings. Second, even if we did, striving to fulfill the standard is
so embedded in us that we have a hard time seeing it as a bad thing.
-ow, don#t worr , this is not a theolog book. !ut, if we are going
to diagnose what is wrong with our lives then we need to better
understand this term the law , for it is the law#s second meaning that
is causing us so much trouble. &herefore, the goals of this chapter
are to help us better understand the law, differentiate between its
two meanings, and offer the ultimate theological reason for wh we
choose to strive. We#ll begin b looking at the law as the moral
standard.
The #aw as the 'oral !tandard
Dicture ourself sitting on a park bench in front of a giant
cit courthouse. &his courthouse is surrounded b a lush green
lawn. 0or a moment or two, ou stare admiringl at the grass, butthen, as ou are naturall prone to do, ou turn our thoughts
elsewhere. :eanwhile, as ou sit, a worker comes out of the
courthouse and stops just in front of ou. e#s carr ing a hammer
and a sign. %s ou look on curiousl , he places the sign in the
grass, pounds it into place, and then scurries back into thecourthouse. 3ou read the sign. It sa s, on"t Step n The #rass . %t
first ou think little of it, but then a thought strikes ou, 8id the
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courthouse.
In this stor , the sign on"t Step n The #rass represents the
law. I hope ou would agree that the problem in this stor is not
the sign. %ll it does is define the rules, nothing more. -o, the
problem in this stor is our pride= we resent being given a limit. We
don#t want an one telling us what we can and can#t do. %gain, the
sign doesn#t cause the trouble, it just provides an opportunit for
our heart problem to come to the surface. 6ikewise, there is
nothing wrong with 1od#s law. %ll it does is define the rules,
setting the standard. !ecause of the law, we know right from
wrong. It is clear= there is a sign that sa s, $o . !ut we are proud,
and we don#t like 1od#s limits. We don#t want an one telling us
what we can and can#t do, not even 1od. &his pride has atheological term. It is called sin. %ll of us have a sinful heart.
We#d have a sinful heart if the sign was on the grass or if the sign
wasn#t on the grass. We#d have a sinful heart if the law was defined
or if the law wasn#t defined. !ut, 1od defined the standard for
one purpose, so there could be no e*cuses.Daul wrote, -ow we know that whatever the law sa s it
speaks to those who are under the law, so that ever mouth ma be
stopped, and the whole world ma be held accountable to 1od.
0or b works of the law no human being will be justified in his
sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin." (>omans9?/C+5G) Some da we are all going to stand before 1od to be
judged. Our problem on that da isn#t going to be the law. Our
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problem on that da is going to be that our proud hearts refused to
obe 1od. !ut, without the law, on that da , we might tr to den
the problem. &his isn#t fair," we might cr . I disagree with ou.
: heart isn#t bad at all." So 1od, foreseeing the complaint, made
sure to define the standard. e gave us the law so there wouldn#t
be an games. In other words, the law has removed the subjectivit
and made it objective. 0ine," 1od sa s. 3ou don#t think our
heart is proud and sinful= well, here is the standard I set for ou.
&here are no e*cuses. &he law told ou what is good and what is
bad. 6ook, ou ha%e broken the rules." It is our hearts that are
corrupt= the law was just set in place to prove it to us.
The #aw as a !ystem of (innin" )od*s Appro+alSo the first meaning of the law is that it is 1od#s moral
standard, and it isn#t bad. In fact, this standard is ver good, if for
no other reason than that it clarifies 1od#s e*pectations. !ut,
remember, this is onl the first meaning, there is still a second
meaning that we also need to consider. In addition to the moralstandard, the term the law also refers to a s stem b which people
tr to make themselves right in 1od#s sight. In the pages of the
-ew &estament, it was a group called the Dharisees who had
turned this approach into an art form. %s ou ma know, the
Dharisees were one of the main religious parties of the 4ews, andthe passionatel believed in the importance of 1od#s law. So
much so that the made it their all consuming goal to never break
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even the slightest rule.
&heir motivation was to win 1od#s approval. &he figured
that if the could keep all the rules then 1od would be happ with
them. %nd, the carried this all the wa to its logical end. If the
could keep all the rules, 1od would be happ with them, and then
the would get into heaven. In other words, the rule+following was
a merit s stem whereb the could earn a ticket to eternal life. &he
logic behind this idea makes some sense. It works like this. If, on
the da of judgment, ou haven#t broken an rules then 1od
doesn#t have an thing to hold against ou. 7nfortunatel , this
philosoph was missing the point. 1od put the law in place to
reveal our heart problem, not to create an effort+based s stem of
salvation. 3et, although the Dharisees had misrepresented 1od#s
intention with the law, the oversight didn#t reall matter, for even
under their approach the end result was still the same. Fver one,
no matter how hard the tr , breaks the rules, and breaking one
rule is the same as breaking all of them. &his is what 4ames meant when he said, 0or whoever keeps the whole law and et stumbles
at just one point is guilt of breaking all of it."(4ames 5?/G)
Keeping ninet +nine percent of the law ma seem better than
keeping onl fift percent, but, in the end, law+breaking is still law+
breaking, and a sinful heart is still a sinful heart. With this in mind,Daul asked the Dharisees, 3ou who brag about the law, do ou
dishonor 1od b breaking the law'" (>omans 5?59) e asked the
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2uestion because he knew the answer. -o one, not even the
Dharisees, had the power to keep the entire law. %ttempting to
obe all of the rules could never earn an one a ticket to heaven=
1od didn#t miss a loophole. &he law was put in place to reveal our
sinful hearts, and, tr as we might, that is what it does.
>ight now ou might be thinking, %ll of this theolog
stuff is about earning our wa to heaven, and I knew I couldn#t
earn m salvation even before I picked up this book. What does
an of this have to do with the wa I live m dail life'" %ctuall ,
more than ou reali e. !ut, in order to full understand the
connection, our theolog lesson must now become a histor
lesson.
A ery. Brief /istory of the !in-Cycle
3ou probabl alread know this stor . 1od created %dam
and put him in the 1arden of Fden to tend to it. &hen 1od gave
mankind its first rule. e told %dam, 3ou are free to eat from an
tree in the garden= but ou must not eat from the tree of theknowledge of good and evil, for when ou eat of it ou will surel
die." (1enesis 5?/@+/A) &ake care of the garden. Fat from an tree
e*cept one. Simple enough, or so one would think. &he stor
continues. 1od doesn#t want %dam to be alone, so e makes for
him a best friend named Fve. -ow the #ve got each other, thegarden, and 1od= life couldn#t be more perfect, literall . &hings are
so good, in fact, that their world is completel without shame. 0or
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despite being naked, %dam and Fve aren#t the slightest bit
concerned. 3et, sadl , the stor doesn#t end there.
% wil serpent enters the picture. ($hristians know this
serpent to be the devil.) %nd he slithers up to Fve and asks a
couple of seemingl innocent 2uestions, 8id I hear 1od right'
8id e reall sa , 3ou can#t eat the fruit from an of these treesE'L
7naware of duplicit , Fve doesn#t see that the serpent is
deliberatel twisting 1od#s command, and she walks right into the
trap. -o," she replies, e didn#t sa that . We can eat the fruit
from all the trees, e*cept for that important one there in the middle
of the garden. We aren#t even supposed to touch the fruit on that
tree or we#ll die." >eall '" the serpent responds, probabl with a
sl grin and a wink of the e e, that isn#t true. 3ou won#t die if oueat that fruit." (I imagine him 2uietl mumbling, at least not
toda ," under his breath.) -o," the serpent continues, that fruit
will make ou like 1od, knowing good and evil." &hus, in just a
few brief words, the serpent manages to impl that 1od is a liar,
Fve should take the fruit, and, worst of all, she has ever right tobe like 1od.
So, the wa I picture it, Fve takes a good hard look at the
fruit, mulling over the serpentEs words. %s she does, it begins
looking better and better. In fact, the fruit on the tree of the
knowledge of good and evil appears to look tastier than all of theother fruit in the whole garden. 0inall , her desire for the delicious
treat (and her desire to be like 1od') gets the best of her. She
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plucks off a piece and takes a big bite. %dam, the strong silent
t pe, has been standing beside Fve watching all of this. &hen,
since Fve had alread broken the rule, he justifies going ahead and
taking a bite too, and the deed is done. 1od had set the standard.
&he rule was ver simple and ver clear, but %dam and Fve didn#t
listen. Dride got the best of them. They decided that the rule
wasn#t a good one. Theydecided that the had a right to be like
1od. %nd from that point on things didn#t go so well.
%dam and Fven did receive the knowledge of good and
evil, but the also paid a price. Immediatel after eating the fruit,
shame and fear entered their lives. %ware of their nakedness, the
made clothes. %nd, when 1od came back, the were scared and
hid. !ut, as ou can imagine, hiding from 1od is not vereffective. So, after e found them, 1od asks them what happened.
8espite a pathetic attempt at pointing fingers, %dam and Fve
admitted that the had eaten the forbidden fruit. In response, 1od
gave them another conse2uence, the worst one of allH e sent
them out of the garden. &his meant that the were now destinedto die, just as 1od said the would. %ll of this because %dam and
Fve wouldn#t obe . &he chose to sin, and as a result, evil entered
the world and their hearts.
I have recounted all of this for one reasonHtheir behavior
established a precedent that would repla itself throughout histor .0irst, 1od sets the standard. %dam and Fve could eat from an
tree, just not from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
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Second, the obe , for a while. %dam and Fve listened and sta ed
awa from the tree. &hird, pride tempts. %dam and Fve consider
the serpentEs words and begin to wonder about tasting the
forbidden fruit. 0ourth, the sin b breaking 1od#s rule. %dam
and Fve take the fruit and eat it. 0inall , 1od gives conse2uences.
%dam and Fve now know shame, fear, and death. &his is the
precedent.
-ow we fast+forward in time. % small, seemingl +
insignificant people group called the Israelites have just
e*perienced the miraculous. 1od has delivered them out of
slaver in Fg pt, and the have been traveling across the deserts of
the :iddle Fast. &hree months after this deliverance, the Israelites
are camped below :ount Sinai, and 1od calls :oses, their leader,up to the mountaintop. :oses," 1od begins, I#ve got a plan for
the Israelites. If the will stick with me, I#ll alwa s stick with them.
!ut the will have to be different. &he will have to be hol ."
&hen 1od made is e*pectations ver clear. e gave them &en
$ommandments to serve as the definition of holy , and e gavethem e*tensive and detailed rules to govern their communit .
owever, soon after this encounter, :oses had been awa
too long, and the people grew ants . What if :oe never comes
back'" the said. We might as well go ahead and fashion our own
1od, just in case. !esides, our god might work out better an wa .:oe#s 1od is a little hard to manage." So the took all of their
gold, fashioned it into a calf, and began to worship their new idol.
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Obviousl , 1od saw this. e sent :oses back to e*plain that there
were going to be severe conse2uences. %shamed, the Israelites
apologi ed and decided to tr harder. 3et their new determination
didn#t last long, and soon the broke the rules again. %nd this
wasn#t the last time. 0or the ne*t two thousand ears this will
repeat itself over and over and over again. Obe . 8isobe .
$onse2uences. Shame. &r harder. 6ike a record on a broken
turntable, the song just continues to repeat itself.
!ut did ou notice an thing familiar about the Israelites#
behavior' It bears a remarkable resemblance to %dam and Fve#s
behavior in the garden. %ctuall , it isn#t just a resemblance, itis
%dam and Fve#s behavior in the garden. &he Israelites have simpl
taken the precedent and turned it into a pattern. 6ook at it again.0irst, 1od sets the standard, now called the law. Second, the
Israelites obe , for a time. &hird, when :oses is awa , their pride
tempts them. 0ourth, the give in to their pride, breaking the rules
and fashioning the golden calf. 0ifth, the reap the conse2uences.
&he onl difference between the Israelites and %dam and Fve isthat the Israelites# stor adds a si*th step, tr harder. %nd step si*
is reall onl a return to step one, thus creating a circle.
&his circle has a name. It is calledthe sin cycle , and the
Israelites haven#t been the onl ones trapped in it. 3ou see,
ever one throughout histor has been going around and around inthat same circle, unable to escape. 0irst, there is 1od#s standard.
Second, we tr to obe the standard. &hird, our pride tempts us to
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break it. 0ourth, we give in. 0ifth, we e*perience the
conse2uences of our failure. Si*th, we tr harder and return to
step one, destined to fail again. !ut wh is ever one going around
and around' &wo reasons. &he first is that, like the Israelites, we
are all powerless to obe the law. &r as we might, we simpl can#t
do it. &he second is that we can#t just give up, because the ultimate
conse2uence for sin is death. %nd so we keep tr ing harder and
harder to obe the standard, hoping to escape that ultimate
conse2uence.
&his is wh 4esus came. 1od knew that we couldn#t escape
the sin c cle on our own, and e loved us too much to let death
win. %s so, 1od sent is Son to pa the penalt for all of the sin
that was ever committed. 4esus died so that we wouldn#t have to. &he cross led to the resurrection and the resurrection led to grace
and grace led to freedom from the sin c cle. 3et, once again, ou
protest. %ll of this sounds like salvation, not like our dail lives.
!ut wait, we aren#t done with our histor lesson et. -e*t, we need
to move forward to 4esus# da , and revisit the Dharisees.
A ery. Brief /istory of the #aw Cycle
%lthough the get the lion share of the attention in the
pages of the -ew &estament, the Dharisees were actuall onl one
of several 4ewish religious groups that had developed b the timeof 4esus. &he reason the Dharisees get so much of the focus is
because the held the most influence with the common people.
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!ecause the Dharisees were devout, strongl valued scripture, and
believed in the e*istence of the afterlife, the average 4ew resonated
with their beliefs and looked to them for religious guidance. So,
the Dharisees were a group of 4ews who believed in 1od and who
were committed to obe ing is law. %nd when I sa the were
committed to obe ing 1od#s law I mean totallycommitted.
0or fun, the leading Dharisees would spend their time
anal ing, dissecting, and debating ever nuance of the law. %n
e*ample of this can be seen when the Dharisees asked 4esus about
the greatest commandment. earing that 4esus had silenced the
Sadducees, the Dharisees got together. One of them, an e*pert in
the law, tested him with this 2uestion? #&eacher, which is the
greatest commandment in the 6aw'#" (:atthew 55?9;+9@) %lthough in this case it was a trap, this was e*actl the same kind
of 2uestion the themselves were constantl debating. %nd, since
the law was so important to them, the Dharisees put forth great
effort to make sure that it was being followed, not onl b
themselves but b ever one. One Sabbath 4esus was goingthrough the grainfields, and as his disciples walked along, the
began to pick some heads of grain. &he Dharisees said to him,
#6ook, wh are the doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath'#" &he
Dharisees considered it their dut to serve as the rules police. &he
were going to obe the law, and the were going to make sure thatou did as well.
In fact, the Dharisees# eal for the law was so complete the
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actuall began to take the law and to e*pand upon it, as a wa of
tr ing to protect it. 4ust to make sure that all of their bases were
covered and then some, the began treating man+made traditions
and their own interpretations of the law as if the were actuall
part of the law itself. &he Dharisees and all the 4ews do not eat
unless the give their hands a ceremonial washing, holding to the
tradition of the elders. When the come from the marketplace
the do not eat unless the wash. %nd the observe man other
traditions, such as the washing of cups, pitchers and kettles." (:ark
A?9+;) 1od had given the 4ews the law, and, b goll , the Dharisees
were going to do ever thing in their power to keep it.
!ut, as is probabl obvious to ou, their eal had gone
overboard, and, as such, the Dharisees had managed to miss thelaw#s true purposeHto reveal the sinfulness of their hearts. %nd
this was something 4esus tried ver hard to make clear to them.
LWoe to ou, teachers of the law and Dharisees, ou
h pocritesM 3ou give a tenth of our spicesHmint, dill and
cummin. !ut ou have neglected the more importantmatters of the lawHjustice, merc and faithfulness. 3ou
should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the
former. 3ou blind guidesM 3ou strain out a gnat but
swallow a camel. Woe to ou, teachers of the law and
Dharisees, ou h pocritesM 3ou clean the outside of thecup and dish, but inside the are full of greed and self+
indulgence. !lind DhariseeM 0irst clean the inside of the
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cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean. Woe
to ou, teachers of the law and Dharisees, ou h pocritesM
3ou are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on
the outside but on the inside are full of dead menEs bones
and ever thing unclean. In the same wa , on the outside
ou appear to people as righteous but on the inside ou are
full of h pocris and wickedness." (:atthew 59?59+5B)
Ouch. 4esus, the Son of 1od, decried the Dharisees# attempts at
religion and rebuked, it is about the inside, not the outside." !ut
the Dharisees were unwilling to give up their rule+following, and
the pushed back, 2uickl becoming 4esus# chief adversaries.
&he whole thing is actuall 2uite sad. &he Dharisees set
their entire life up around 1od, and et missed 1od entirel . !uthow did it happen' Where e*actl did the Dharisees go wrong' &o
put it simpl , the root of the problem was pride. &heir desire to
follow 1od wasn#t reall about 1od at all= it was reall all about
them. 3ou can see this most clearl in 4esus# parable about the
Dharisee and the &a* $ollector. &o some who were confident of their own righteousness
and looked down on ever bod else, 4esus told this
parable? L&wo men went up to the temple to pra , one a
Dharisee and the other a ta* collector. &he Dharisee stood
up and pra ed about himself? 1od, I thank ou that I amnot like other menHrobbers, evildoers, adulterersHor
even like this ta* collector. I fast twice a week and give a
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tenth of all I get.E !ut the ta* collector stood at a distance.
e would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast
and said, 1od, have merc on me, a sinner.E I tell ou that
this man, rather than the other, went home justified before
1od. 0or ever one who e*alts himself will be humbled,
and he who humbles himself will be e*alted.L (6uke /B?C+
/;)
&he ke line is, &he Dharisee stood up and pra ed about himself."
3ou might even add, &he Dharisee stood up and pra ed about
himself, to himself," because all of this self+righteousness had
nothing to do with 1od.
%nd so the Dharisees have shown us their best attempt to
break through the sin c cle, but, of course, it failed. ere is e*actl what happened. 0irst, the studied 1od#s standard. Second, the
tried ver hard to obe that standard. &hird, their rule+following
made them proud. 0ourth, although the did not reali e it, their
pride was actuall breaking 1od#s law. 0ifth, the were moving
further and further awa from 1od. Si*th, the continued to workharder at following the rules. 8o ou notice an thing familiar about
this' Of course, it is nothing more than a slight variation of the
sin c cle. Ironicall , the Dharisees, with all of their religion and
rules, were on the same endless circle that the Israelites had alwa s
been on. &he onl difference was effort= the were just tr ing a whole lot harder.
What the Dharisees were doing has its own name. It is
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called the law s stem. %nd the law s stem is mankind#s best
solution to the sin c cle, and et it is reall no solution at all. Dut
another wa , the law s stem is religion, humanit #s attempt to earn
1od#s approval, but our best religious effort onl takes us back to
where we started. 0or although the rules and the striving look
impressive, the law s stem doesn#t work. In fact, the law s stem
should be called the law c cle, for it is nothing more than the sin
c cle re+imagined. 4esus was making this point in the often miss+
named Darable of the Drodigal Son.
If ou are familiar with the stor found in 6uke chapter
fifteen ou might think it is about a oung man who blows off
responsibilit and goes off to indulge in some wild living. !ut that
is onl half of the stor . 6isten to how 4esus begins, &here was aman who had two sons." (6uke /
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same coin.
When it comes to following 1od#s standard, the person
putting forth little effort and the person putting forth great effort
are both stuck in the e*act same c cle. One person#s pride ma
lead him to wild living. %nother person#s pride ma lead him to
religious sacrifice. Without grace, the are both lost. -o amount
of effort can win 1od#s approval. It is impossible. Our best
attempts end right where the Dharisees# did, separated from 1od
because of sinful hearts. Sadl , however, rule+followers, with their
pride, refuse to give up. &he can#t accept that salvation can be a
free gift= the believe it must be something the can earn. We even
see this attitude in the earl church, tr ing to worm its wa into the
gospel message, and this continues our histor of the law c cle.It is right there in Daul#s letters. 6aw+strivers are tr ing to
pervert the good news of grace, and Daul has to rebuke them. e
wrote to the Dhilippians, Watch out for those dogs, those men
who do evil, those mutilators of the flesh." (Dhilippians 9?5) It
was a reference to a group called the 4udai ers who believed that$hristians still had to be circumcised like the 4ews. Daul saw the
real message, &here are still things you must do to be saved," and
he denounced them forcefull . e addressed the 4udai er
philosoph again in 1alatians, :ark m wordsM I, Daul, tell ou
that if ou let ourselves be circumcised, $hrist will be of no valueto ou at all." (1alatians
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3ou who are tr ing to be justified b the law have been alienated
from $hrist= ou have fallen awa from grace." (1alatians
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so that no+one can boast." (Fphesians 5?C) Salvation is b grace.
-o matter how hard we might want to earn it we never can and we
never will.
!ut, again, ou probabl alread know that. 3ou aren#t
reading this book to hear about people who are tr ing to earn
salvation. 3ou are reading this book to hear about wh ou are
living our dail life b the law s stem. &he Dharisee thing" makes
sense, but ever ounce of our being accepts that the onl wa to
heaven is b 1od#s grace. So where do we go from here' We go to
the last page of our histor lesson, and we discover a new stor , the
one we#ve been interested in all along. owever, as we#ll soon
discover, this new stor is actuall nothing more than the same old
stor .
A 0ew Twist on the !ame Old !tory
%s I neared the end of seminar , I began looking for a job.
One of the advertisements I found called for a teaching pastor. It
listed all of the necessar 2ualifications and then added that the were looking for sermons that hit the ball out of the park ever
week." Oka , no pressure. !esides, who gets to decide whether or
not a sermon was a home run' 0or the sake of m sanit , I
thought it best not to appl . !ut, although I didn#t recogni e it
then, that advertisement was a s mptom of the greatest life+stealingtheolog ever to infiltrate the church. It is a new conceptionH
keeping both the grace s stem and the law s stem. %nd, unlike past
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attempts to measure up to the standard, this one manages to avoid
heres , barel .
&he idea is $hristian law+striving, and it is simple, subtle,
and brilliant, in a ver diabolical kind of wa . ere#s how it works.
If we split salvation awa from our dail lives, we can depend upon
grace for getting into heaven but continue with our law+striving for
ever thing else. &hink how clever this is. We know that we can#t
earn our salvation, so we can#t get rid of grace. !ut, we also like
control and the self+satisfaction of performing, so we don#t want to
get rid of the law. 3et splitting salvation and dail living solves the
problem, allowing us the best of both worlds. We totall ,
completel , and wholeheartedl agree that we are saved b grace=
and we totall , completel , and wholeheartedl live each daattempting to measure up to the law. It#s perfect. %nd the best
part is how easil this is done. %fter all, I don#t get saved ever da
or go to heaven ever da , so separating salvation from the rest of
m life comes 2uite naturall .
Dracticall speaking, here#s what this theolog looks like. Ican love 4esusand I can continue running m self frantic. I can love
4esusand I can continue managing m relationships b m own
strength. I can love 4esus and I can continue tr ing to win other
people#s approval. I can love 4esusand I can continue attempting to
fi* m own character flaws. I can love 4esusand I can continuehandling m mental health problems. It is $hristian law+striving=
grace for salvation, law for life. !ut wait. Wh would an one want
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this' &he law is powerless. It does nothing but take ou around in
a circle. 3es, that is true, but we don#t care, for this isn#t about
truth. &his is about the same old stor Hpride.
0rom the 1arden of Fden until now, the problem has
alwa s been our pride. %dam and Fve think the are read to be
like 1od. &he Israelites think that the shouldn#t have to listen to
1od. &he Dharisees think the are good enough to earn 1od#s
approval. Dride. Dride. Dride. It#s reall all about mankind#s desire
for self+sufficienc . We want to be autonomous, depending upon
1od is too constricting, too humbling. Whether it is the wild+living
sinner or the rule+following Dharisee, we want to be the ones in
charge of our own lives. %nd, in the case of this theological split,
we#ll humble ourselves to accept salvation, but that is as far as we#re willing to go. 4esus can be the 6ord of our lives, just so long as it
doesn#t mean our dail lives.
%nd so there we have it, the ultimate reason wh we
choose the law s stem, because, deep down, we want to. 0rom the
beginning, mankind has been tr ing to be in control, whether it bein control of our sin or of our salvation. Dride is the old stor .
-ow, even as followers of 4esus, it is still the same. We will
acknowledge our need for salvation, but refuse to give up our
striving, for striving keeps us in command. It#s twisted and futile,
but we don#t care. 1race for salvation= law for life. It is, to us, areasonable compromise. !ut wait, ou protest. &his still doesn#t
make sense. 3ou can understand how punches to our grace card
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could have, unknowingl , shaped us into law+strivers, but ou can#t
believe all of this about our pride. We aren#t Dharisees. We
genuinel love 1od. Our faith is sincere and we really want to
grow. So wh would we consciousl allow our pride to keep us
from e*periencing 1od#s best' Well, I#m glad ou asked, for the
answer to that 2uestion is that we aren"t consciousl doing it all.
Our pride is working subconsciousl , in order to protect something
called our personali ed law, and that is the subject of our ne*t
chapter.
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Chapter %o$r:
1o$r Personali2ed-#aw
Dett laws breed great crimes." +Ouida
3ou have let go of the commands of 1od and are holding on to
the traditions of men." +:ark A?B
When m wife and I were first married, I found out that I
didn#t fold towels properl . Well, as a recentl emancipated
bachelor, I wasn#t surprised. &hen she proceeded to show me a
four step process that bore a remarkable resemblance to origami. I
couldn#t do it. She showed me again. I still couldn#t do it. Shetried once more, but, when she got to the step that re2uired folding
the towel into thirds, I started to cr . (I freel admit that I am
embellishing this stor for dramatic effectM)
Of course there is no rulebook for folding towels, but,
over the ears, we all learn a wa of doing things, and, as a result,that is the wa we do it. 0or instance, do ou carefull s2uee e the
toothpaste from the bottom (the 1od honored wa ), or do ou
brutall s2uee e it in a horrif ingl random fashion' 6ikewise, do
ou graciousl allow the toilet paper to flow over the top of the roll
and down the front, or do ou inappropriatel let it dangle downfrom the back' I#m kidding of course, there is no right wa for an
of these things. !ut, because we#ve learned them that wa , we can
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often come to believe that our wa is the right wa . So, although
there is no real rulebook, we make one.
&his rulebook is called our personali ed+law. It is our own
standard of how to live, and, although we ma not reali e it, our
personali ed+law can be 2uite e*tensive. We have rules about little
things, like s2uee ing toothpaste or hanging toilet paper. %nd we
have rules about big things, like being responsible or loving others.
%ll rules are about protection, and that is wh we#ve made our
personali ed+law. We want to protect ourselves from doing
something the wrong wa , for the wrong wa brings an unpleasant
conse2uence, either small or large. S2uee ing the toothpaste
wrong" brings the unpleasant conse2uence of re2uiring more
effort in preparing to brush our teeth. 6oving others wrong"brings the unpleasant conse2uence of distance in our relationships.
So, to avoid these conse2uences we make rules, and when we put
all of these rules together, we get our personali ed+law.
In this chapter, I want to e*plain three things about the
personali ed law. 0irst, how this personali ed+law gets formed.Second, where this personali ed+law often goes wrong. %nd, third,
wh we become unwilling to give it up. 6et me begin with how this
personali ed+law gets formed.
The !hapin" of 1o$r #aw
&here is an old counseling stor that has gone around, in
various forms, for ears. It tells about a newl married woman who
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is preparing her first &hanksgiving meal. %s she prepares the
turke , her husband comes in. Wh are ou cutting the turke in
half," he asks her. !ecause ou are supposed to," she replies.
-o ou aren#t," he shoots back. 3et she insists, and the couple
have a long and heated argument. 0inall , e*asperated, the woman
calls her mother to help prove the point. :om," she asks, isn#t it
true that when ou cook the turke ou have to cut it in half '"
&he sound of uncontrolled laughter comes through the receiver.
-o, hone ," her mom finall responds, ou don#t ha%e tocut the
turke in half. I just do it that wa because our oven is too small."
&he stor of this oung woman shows the first place
where our rules come from. We learn them growing up in our
families. &his is the wa :om baked the turke , so this must be the wa to bake a turke . &his is the wa :om and 8ad handled
conflict in their marriage, so this must be the wa to handle conflict
in m marriage. &his is the wa 8ad viewed finances, so this must
be the wa to view mone . %s I mentioned earlier, our families are
an incubator designed to teach us how to live. &herefore, it is inour families that we form the largest part of our personali ed+law.
0or the ne*t place our rules come from, I now turn to Dhilip
3ance .
%fter graduating from high school, 3ance went off to
!ible college, and found himself in a place that loved rules. &hisschool believed in rules, man rules, si*t +si* pages worth in fact,
which we students had to stud and agree to abide b ...%s a college
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senior, engaged, I could spend onl the dinner hour,
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4ackson. It is the stor of a strange event occurring in a small
town, which, in the end, is discovered to be a human sacrifice.
Fach ear, as augaard taught the stor , she could alwa s count on
its conclusion receiving a strong moral denouncement. 3et, b the
/CCG#s something had changed. One night, after reading the stor ,
her class was indifferent. #&he end was neatM# one woman said. #It
was all right. It wasn#t that great,# another repeated. #&he just do
it,# et another argued, #It#s there ritual.#" augaard was ama ed,
not one person would denounce human sacrifice. &he view of one
woman captured the attitude of the class. Well, I teach a course
for our hospital personnel in multicultural understanding, and if it#s
a part of a person#s culture, we are taught not to judge, and if it has
worked for them...."omans /G?C) &his is grace. It
means unmerited favor. 3ou did not earn it. 3ou could not earn it.
4esus did all the work for ou. e paid the conse2uences. %s aresult, ou go free. !ut wait, that is not the end of the stor .
1race does more than just free ou from the
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conse2uences. 1race also gives ou the power to sta off the
grass. ! our own strength we could not keep ourselves from
sinning. !ut 4esus came to change that too. In :atthew, 4esus said,
8o not think that I have come to abolish the 6aw or the
Drophets= I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them."
(:atthew
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The Easy 1o5e
One of the most misunderstood passages of the !ible is
found in the 1ospel of :atthew. It is the passage where 4esus
sa s, $ome to me, all ou who are wear and burdened, and I will
give ou rest. &ake m oke upon ou and learn from me, for I am
gentle and humble in heart, and ou will find rest for our souls.
0or m oke is eas and m burden is light." (:atthew //?5B+9G)
& picall , this passage is used to offer us comfort. %nd while 4esus
is a comforter, that isn#t really what the passage is about. It is reall
about the neglected side of grace.
&he ke to understanding the passage is the word yoke . In
!iblical times, the word oke was a s mbol of a great burden or
heav responsibilit . It took on this s mbolism from the use of aoke on a farm, i.e. an animal would be oked to a heav plow. !ut
in -ew &estament times, oke added another meaning. Taking the
yokefrom a 4ewish rabbi meant that ou were going to follow him,
living out his teachings. %nd, in :atthew eleven, 4esus is cleverl
referring to both uses. &hose who are wear and burdened arethose who have been wearing the oke of the Dharisees, which, at
the time, would be the vast majorit of the common people. %s
ou recall, the Dharisees were the main religious teachers of the da
and the were law+strivers, tr ing to obe the law b their own
power. In contrast to their heav oke, however, 4esus# oke waslight. e was gentle and humble in heart," in other words,
gracious, and 4esus# wa was free from performance.
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In this passage, 4esus# invitation is not primaril about
bringing us comfort. 4esus# invitation is about switching s stems,
going from the law to grace. %nd this invitation to grace is not just
about salvation+grace. If 4esus is referring to salvation at all e
certainl isn#t referring to it e*clusivel , for the burden of the
Dharisees was an ever da , real+life burden. -o, 4esus is inviting us
to e*perience end+of+striving, power+to+live grace. In other words,
e is offering us the side of grace that ou and I are missing.
1race brings two things, salvation and life. It alwa s has, and
alwa s will. &he onl 2uestion is whether or not we will receive
both halves or onl one.
Interestingl , the ver meaning of the word grace shows
that it is more than just salvation, et for some reason we haveoverlooked this too. So ne*t, let#s e*amine the definition of grace,
that we might understand it in all of its fullness. %nd, if we are
going to e*plore a theological term, who better to turn to then the
!ible#s number one theologian, the %postle Daul.
The Definition of )race
Whenever we have a 2uestion about theolog Daul is often
the first place we turn, especiall when it comes to his e*pertiseH
the meaning of grace. In fact, his teachings on grace form the
foundation of the $hristian doctrine of salvation. 0or it is bgrace ou have been saved, through faithHand this not from
ourselves, it is the gift of 1odH not b works, so that no+one can
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boast." (Fphesians 5?B+C) I do not set aside the grace of 1od, for
if righteousness could be gained through the law, $hrist died for
nothingM" (1alatians 5?5/) %nd if b grace, then it is no longer b
works= if it were, grace would no longer be grace." (>omans //?@)
&ime and time again, Daul defines, e*plains, and defends grace as
the only wa to heaven. !ut, what we often don#t reali e is that
grace means a lot more to Daul than just salvation.
ere are e*amples where Daul uses the word grace in
reference to situations completel unrelated to salvation. e uses
the word grace in his salutations? 1race and peace to ou from
1od our 0ather and the 6ord 4esus $hrist." (Dhilippians /?5) &o
the hol and faithful brothers in $hrist at $olosse? 1race and peace
to ou from 1od our 0ather." ($olossians /?5) e uses the wordgrace in his farewells? &he grace of our 6ord 4esus $hrist be with
our spirit, brothers. %men." (1alatians @?/B) I, Daul, write this
greeting in m own hand. >emember m chains. 1race be with
ou." ($olossians ;?/B) e uses the word grace to talk about the
work 1od has given him to do? ! the grace 1od has given me, Ilaid a foundation as an e*pert builder, and someone else is building
on it. !ut each one should be careful how he builds." (/
$orinthians 9?/G) 4ames, Deter and 4ohn, those reputed to be
pillars, gave me and !arnabas the right hand of fellowship when
the recogni ed the grace given to me. &he agreed that we shouldgo to the 1entiles, and the to the 4ews." (1alatians 5?C) %nd he
uses the word grace to indicate a source of strength. 3ou then, m
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son, be strong in the grace that is in $hrist 4esus." (5 &imoth 5?/)
&he grace of the 6ord 4esus $hrist be with our spirit."
(Dhilemon /?5
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who loved us and b his grace gave us eternal encouragement and
good hope," (5 &hessalonians 5?/@) %nd, to Daul, our hope is the
result of 1od#s love and kindness. Daul saw grace ever where, in
salvation and in life, because grace is 1od#s loving+kindness, and
1od is so ver loving and kind.
&his is wh living b the grace s stem is so light compared
to living b the law s stem, because 1od is loving and kind. %nd,
because e is loving and kind, we no longer need to strive after
love. 0or we must remember, the striving of the law s stem isn#t
reall about obe ing all the rules= the striving of the law s stem is
reall about tr ing to earn 1od#s love. !ut with the grace s stem
we don#t hav