Powerful Women Magazine Winter 2010

The women behind the man: he tells it like it is 1

Heading up a cross country

campaign

Page 12

Powerful WomenWaterloo-Wellington Edition

Winter 2010

Ignite Your Passion for Success

Your style: a tool to promote your professionalism

Support, but don’t sacrifice yourself

Page 8

Magazine

Page 17

2 Powerful Women Winter 2010

Winter 2010 Powerful Women 3

Winter 2010

When we start a business or new career we hope that those around us will support us as we take the first steps on our journey to eventual success. As we meet hurdles, road blocks and other obstacles along the way, we expect no less. In fact, support is even more critical during these challenging times.

Support comes in a variety of capacities – finan-cial, developmental, physical and, probably most importantly, emotional. Even as sole proprietors, we really couldn’t run our businesses alone. A bank will provide financial backing, a consultant might help with professional development and, from time to time, we may hire professionals to assist us with certain business tasks.

However, when it comes to moral support, where do we get it from? Some may hire a business coach, join a business support group or create their ownaction group. Others may talk to a mentor – aformer teacher or business colleague. As our busi-nesses grow, our support networks often grow with us and pats on the back and words of encourage-ment may come from a variety of outside sources.

But, in truth, the most significant moral support comes from those closest to us – our spouse, part-ner, parents, siblings. No matter how powerful we are, without the support and encouragement of our loved-ones, what would be the point of success?

As women, we are frequently the ones support-ing our male counterparts, both physically and emotionally, but more than that; we are often the driving force behind many a man’s success. Also, it’s often the skills and knowledge we acquire over many years, or even decades, as “the women be-hind the men,” that enable us to eventually pursue our own goals and create our own success.

Providing support in any of its forms has both challenges and rewards. In this issue, you will be inspired by the many women who have been the driving force behind the success of the men in their lives and, despite their challenges, have been rewarded by achieving success in their own right.

K arenKaren Coleman, Publisher

The driving force behind many a man’s success

Designed and published byKaren Coleman, Kaz Design Works

www.kazdesignworks.ca

Contents

g

Available online atwww.powerfulwomen.ca

Trials & Tribulations: Beating the Odds... Heading up a crosscountry campaign. . . . . . . . . . . . 12

Computing for the geekaphobe: Waiting your turn? Stimulate your brain . . 21

Recipes for success: Recharging the behind-the-scenes star . . . . . . . . 22

Trials & Trib lations Beating the Odds

Regular Features

What’s Inside

Publisher’s Note: The views and opinions ex-pressed in this magazine are those of the indi-vidual writers. If you have any concerns about any of the content, please write to the publisher [email protected]

To advertise or contribute an article in the next issue of Powerful Women

call 519-267-5050 or [email protected]

PPPPPPPPPPoooooooooowwwwwweeeeeeeerrrrrrffffffuuuuuulllll WWWWWWWWWWWooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnPowerful WomenIgnite Your Passion for Success

Perceived balance of power? . . . . . . . . 4Strategic planning is important

when supporting others . . . . . . . . . 5My mother – my idol!. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7Your style: a tool to promote

your professionalism . . . . . . . . . . . 8Eniko Bartha: building a new

life in Canada . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10Support, but don’t sacrifice yourself. . . 11Now is the time to design the

next 20 years . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14To speak or not to speak? . . . . . . . . . 15The women behind the man:

he tells it like it is . . . . . . . . . . . . 17Virtually the right hand woman

for the job . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18Working behind the scenes:

you are a jack-of-all-trades . . . . . 19Never be the “yes” man . . . . . . . . . . . 20


As I have journeyed down my entrepreneuria l path in

life, I have had the engaging challenge (on separate

tours of duty of course) with two very dynamic but

somewhat demanding male partners.

Perceived balanceof power?

Kristel ManesGuelph-Wellington

Business Enterprise Centre

The interesting point with these two business relationships was that both

of these individuals were “pie in the sky”, very visionary thinkers.

My role in both cases quickly became their grounding force that kept them in real time and on task. Even more incred-ible was that both these gentlemen rec-ognized my role as the pin responsible for bursting their proverbial balloons, only when the need arose of course. Even though both these gentlemen acknowl-edged my very signi� cant role in the partnership, the irony lay in the fact that neither could ever appreciate me as their equal counterpart.

So initially, I balked (my wrath, when in full gear has been compared to that of a train wreck), stamped my feet and worked hard to be noticed for my valour, “Don’t you know who I am?” Even with all the dramatics, I quickly realized that I was the only one paying attention and the only one participating in my struggle for power.

It also became evident to me that despite my desperate attempts to be recognized with a balance of this power, my partner was determined to become King of our empire, mostly due to his commanding presence and healthy ego. My role was that of Queen, second in command, take it

or leave it; the choice was mine to make. After much deliberation, careful thought and consideration, I accepted that his per-sistence was based solely on his perception and not on his business savvy or cleverness. It was merely a battle of wills that I could win with a devilish smart power play. That power play included a change in my mind-set that armed me with my quiet con� dence; I accepted the role as the equally powerful woman behind the powerful man.

And so the dance for equilibrium be-gan. There were times I would let my partner lead, allowing him to show his expertise and gallantly celebrated by the masses. Other times, it would be me wearing the hero badge and leading the business to victory, always expected and without the same celebratory fanfare.

Regardless of the lack of acknowledge-ment, I understood that it was not out of disrespect, but it was something they were just not capable of recognizing and acknowledging. Despite the hierarchy, and armed with my own self belief and con� dence, I was able to put those indig-nant feelings aside and recognize that it was precisely these individual strengths combined that created the chemistry that made our business ventures successful. It was with this insight that I distinguished where my true power rested.


Strategic planning can play a large role in one’s hap-

piness and future endeavors. Creating a time line of

support will have a huge effect on whether or not your

own business goals will be achieved.

Strategic planning is important when supporting others

In today’s changing world of equality, many women have hopes and goals

of building their own destiny. Unfortu-nately, because of our maternal, nurtur-ing nature, we often end up in the sup-portive role of building someone else’s business. Initially, what is thought to be a temporary supportive situation turns into a permanent long-term position.

For some, this outcome is positive if their own passion for what they are doing grows, and the business ends up being a joint venture and an equally shared part-nership. However, there are many other women who still want to pursue their own career goals in a completely differ-ent � eld, and are uncertain as to how and when to bow out of their supportive roles and still keep the relationship on a posi-tive note.

Happiness, Joy, Fulfillment Is your happiness any less important

than someone else’s?If you are one of the many women who

have put your own life on hold in order to help someone important to you build their success, then perhaps you have asked yourself this very question.

Women have been often known to go above and beyond in contributing to the success of others.

Below is only a small glimpse at what some have sacri� ced for others:1. Financial contributions2. Postponement of educational ad-vancement to be a physical presence at the business3. Use of existing skills (book keeping or accounting)

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4. Learning new or speci� c skills (mar-keting/advertising/sales)5. Valuable time

Discussing and creating a consensual agreement before your involvement with someone else’s business venture is al-ways a sound idea. It is just as important in the case of a family member’s busi-ness, to state your intentions beforehand. If you are extending � nancial support, there needs to be a payback date stated. If you are offering your time, put a limit on it, such as one to three years depending on your own circumstances.

Verbal CommunicationIt is pertinent to both parties to keep

an honest line of communication. Make certain you both have complete under-standing and acceptance of the other per-son’s terms and conditions. The support-

ing contributor should include the terms for when they intend to step out of their role.

A few examples of when to leave your position are as follows: 1. When there are enough earnings to hire a replacement2. When the agreed upon time line has approached3. When a mutual agreement of busi-ness success is achieved4. When an opportunity arises which outweigh the bene� ts of staying5. When or if the situation causes dif-� culties in the relationship

These are merely a few suggestions of many possibilities, but the point is to discuss and document a workable plan to prevent any misunderstandings down the road. When everyone involved is aware of each other’s intentions, it makes for a smoother more pleasant situation. It also allows you to bow out of your supportive role without regrets because you took the time to discuss your limits prior to com-mitting your support.

Not everyone will agree, especially if you are determined to make a loved one or friend successful at all costs. What about your own happiness? Would you feel resentful giving all of yourself for someone else, realizing that you’ll never know if your own career goals were at-tainable because you never took the time to reach them?

In all fairness, I believe it is possible to support someone else’s business and still pursue your own path of success. It’s all in the planning. For those of you who are giving your time, � nances, energy and skills to support another’s venture, I hope that you will � nd the right time to bow out in order to ful� ll your own passions.

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Continued from previous page

Strategic planning is important when supporting others


My mother stayed home and raised f ive children while my father worked to support us.

Ann Bard supported my father in his drive for success as Senior Manager for Armco

(now Armtec) in Guelph.

My mother – my idol!

He worked long hours but always with the support of my mom who

was at home raising � ve children, cook-ing the meals, doing the laundry, sewing new clothes, cleaning the house and still � nding time to volunteer in the commu-nity in which we lived – Guelph.

I remember coming home daily from school with all my friends and walking into a house with fresh baked bread, fresh cookies, pies and more. Our house was the hangout in the neighbourhood be-cause my mom always had fresh baked goods after school.

My dad would often call and say he was bringing someone home for dinner. We would quickly be fed before he got home, the dining room table would be set for the guests and we would be sent to the basement to watch TV in the family room while she entertained for my father.

I look at my mother and feel very proud. She was the � rst female warden at our church when I was growing up (ba-sically unheard of back then). She sup-ported the Archdeacon in his quest to be the best and his initial move to Bishop of the Diocese in Hamilton.

My mom volunteered in the commu-nity through our church and with the city, starting the Seniors’ Drop-in Centre that was originally housed behind the Court House on Woolwich Street.

Today, she is a successful business woman, having won two awards of ex-cellence for Tourism, successfully run-ning a large resort for 10 years and now

running Cape Chin Country Inn, located on the Bruce Peninsula. The inn, with its two licensed dining rooms and licensed patio, was the original log homestead of one of the � rst settlers on the Bruce Pen-insula.

Ann Bard added a continuance to the Bruce Trail on the property a couple of years ago. The extension is called the Bard Trail. Now at the age 76, she has accomplished all this and more.

Mom, I am so proud of you for believ-ing in others the way you do, for inspir-ing me to be the best that I can be and for the long hours and dedication you provided to others and to yourself to suc-ceed. You never gave up – thank you for being you.

By Lynne Bard, Beyond Rewards

Ann Bard, a successful business woman from Guelph, whobelieved in the success ofher family and others in

her community


With all of these situations comes a new challenge beyond the ones

outlined in your job description. You may be asking this very question: How do I dress for this?

The � rst step is to analyze the way your employer and others in the of� ce are dressing. No doubt there is an unwrit-ten (and occasionally a written) dress code that others are adhering to. If you are not sure, ask your boss or someone you respect about what they expect their employees to wear.

If you are self-employed, pay attention to how others in your � eld dress. Always try to dress slightly above instead of be-low what seems to be expected.

Another factor to consider is the type of work environment. For example, if you work in technology, media or en-

tertainment, you may � nd the clothing choices are quite casual. There may be no established rules, so it is challenging to dress appropriately without overdressing. At the opposite end of the spectrum, you may work in law, � nance or education, and this requires a corporate appearance. This environment presents the challenge of looking current without compromising seriousness and class.

Addressing the latter, how do you dress appropriately in the corporate world?

First some don’ts: Don’t show cleav-age. Don’t bare your shoulders with spa-ghetti straps or tank tops. Don’t show too much leg (2” above the knee is the highest your skirt should go). Don’t wear anything overtly sexy.

Why all these don’ts? Primarily you want to be taken seriously on the job. You

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years at home supporting your spouse? Perhaps you ’ve

received a promotion and you have new responsibilities.

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do not want your clothing or body speak-ing before you do. Clothes should go hand in hand with the dignity and intelli-gence you already possess. Wearing any-thing too revealing actually compromises you and your company’s credibility.

Suit jackets are a great way to exude authority and intelligence. There have ac-tually been studies done that analyze the effects of a suit jacket on a woman.

One such study was done by the Uni-versity of Manitoba in 1993. It found “that a woman wearing a jacket was per-ceived to have greater experience and le-gitimate power than a woman not wear-ing a jacket.”

What other ways can you dress for suc-cess in the boardroom and elsewhere?

Do allow your personality to shine through by using accessories (choose one to three as opposed to many). Do choose well-� tting tailored suits. Do incorpo-rate some colour with your shirts, shoes, scarves and jewellery. Do choose neutral suit colours like grey, brown, charcoal, black and navy.

Remember, you should always keep your clothing clean and tidy. Find a good tailor and have your skirt hems � xed as they need it, pants hemmed to � t the shoe you wear them with most, and any other mending.

Always follow the instructions for the care of your garments. Go to work with everything pressed and in good order. These seemingly small areas go a long way in keeping your look professional.

Finally, a question that is often raised: Is it okay if I dress above my boss? The answer used to be a quick “No!” How-ever, things have changed over the years. While you should not dress formally (business suits, etc) in a casual work-place, you should dress appropriately.

For example, some bosses may be very laid back (wearing shorts and graphic

tees) and occasionally sloppy. In this situation, you should not follow that at-titude in your own attire.

Try to stay within the norms of the business environment, but always dress neatly, never sloppy, untidy or lacking seriousness.

Do not, however, try to outshine your boss if they do dress appropriately and/or they are overly sensitive in this area.

As you apply these quick tips, your style will be a tool to promoting your pro-fessionalism and skills in the workplace.

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Dairy products were scarce and heat-ing even scarcer – during the winter

people would joke about it, saying “I had twenty-two degrees in the house – after I added up the temperature in all four rooms!” As Christians, the Barthas were treated like second class citizens – de-nied teaching jobs and promotions which were reserved for communist party members.

The Barthas decided to emigrate because they wanted to practice their faith freely. They arrived in Guelph, On-tario, August 26, 1990. Poor English language skills meant Enikö had to take a position for which she was over quali� ed. She stuck with it for six years.

Meanwhile, Stefan worked for various companies, eventually establishing his own freelance consulting business as an Architectural Millwork Designer.

After leaving the factory job, Enikö took a tax course with H & R Block, and started her own small business preparing taxes. As well, Enikö helped Stefan with the administrative part of his business and by taking on his portion of household chores.

Despite being an ‘A plus’ student, Enikö’s primary goal was to have a fam-ily. Although she loved of� ce work, Enikö “wasn’t sure (she) could do both perfectly”.

So, when their son Sebastian was born, Enikö started a home day care. Once

Sebastian was school age, Enikö continued her own education. She had already completed post-secondary studies in Romania, but want-ed her Canadian High School equivalency before tackling and completing a College Certi� cate qualifying her as a Bookkeeping Clerk.

Enikö has used her exceptional organiza-tional skills, willingness to learn, and creative problem solving to sup-port her husband’s busi-

ness. Although she is looking for a book-keeping job, Enikö is also excited by the prospect of learning more about drafting and AutoCAD so she can participate more fully in Stefan’s business.

Eniko Bartha’s strength, perseverance, � exibility and commitment to her family have all been key factors in the Bartha family’s successful adaptation to Cana-dian society.

When Eniko and Stefan married in Satu-mare, Romania, Stefan was in his f irst year

of university and Eniko’s off ice job supported them both. Nicola e Ceausescu had been

in power for many years, and times were tough for everyone.

Profile by Nikki Everts-Hammond, Scripted Images

Eniko Bartha: building a new life in Canada

SaghehapoinedSbecoCheC

extitoprEnikö Bartha


Erica BrandlLearning Evolves

Life has an incredible way of taking us to places that we would never plan or imagine. At 34, I was still single (and happily so). I saw dating as painful and unnecessary, so I decided instead to pursue career over commitment and personal development over parenting. That was my plan at least.

But when Rob showed up, I realized that life had a very different plan in mind. This beautiful man was my match in every way, but dating him presented an interest-ing twist. It meant abandoning my Erica-centric lifestyle and becoming a pseudo-mom to my two stepsons-in-training (something I never thought I would do).

Sometimes, while Rob’s at work, my days start off with Pokemon battles and chasing a naked � ve year old around the house. At times, it’s a far cry from the sassy, single entrepreneur lifestyle I’d pictured. But, lending a helping hand and a gentle heart so that Rob can achieve his version of success (creating a loving and happy home for his boys) is worth any of the struggles that I may face.

Striving to � nd balance between my goals and my three new priorities gives me a new appreciation for my mom. My father, an Austrian immigrant, was new to the country when they � rst met in Montreal. Full of ambition, his career path took them across Canada, back to

Austria, and � nally to Ontario, making it dif� cult for my mom to create a long-standing career of her own. Instead, she focused on supporting his career, as well as making sure that her daughters grew up to be smart, educated, and self-reliant women with choices.

Now, it’s my mother’s turn. I’m happy to say that she’s pursuing her passion as a genealogist, helping individuals all over the world research their family histories. I’d like to pass on her words of wisdom: 1. Support, but don’t sacri� ce your-self: It is both loving and admirable to be a driving force behind your family’s suc-cess, but make sure it is not at the cost of your dreams. 2. Help, but don’t hide: If fear is keep-ing you behind the scenes, remember that you have everything it takes to pursue your own goals. Just take the leap. 3. Find your own path: You deserve to be the leading lady of your own life. Trust your heart and let it guide you back to your dreams.

Support, but don’t

sacrifice yourself

Missed an issue?Visit www.powerfulwomen.ca to read it online!

Powerful Womenue???ue???MagazineIgnite Your Passion for Success


When I met my life partner Robert Bertolas, it only felt natural for me

to want to help him achieve his goals. Robert has been living with Multiple Sclerosis for 24 years and is very ambi-tious, he also had a strong desire to help others suffering from the disease, espe-cially those who were not as fortunate as him. Robert felt he needed to encourage and inspire others living with MS, and I jumped at the chance to help him be able to do that on a bigger scale.

In 2007, I dove in head � rst with high expectations as I headed up the cam-paign for the Victory Tour for MS. The ‘goal’ was for Robert to run and cycle across Canada from Victoria to St. John’s Newfoundland – a distance of 9,653 km – over a ten-month period to raise aware-ness for MS.

My job as the campaign manager was to utilize the media, police, Canadian Gov-ernment, local businesses and the general public to help us along the way. Because I was actually living on the road for the ten months during the tour, my parents, brother, David and my friend Shawna, helped me with phone calls when I had no cell phone signal and looked up infor-mation and contact numbers for me when I had no internet.

My job as the campaign manager was unrealistic for one person to handle. However with determination and passion I got the job done. I was supposed to let

all of Canada know about the tour, so I did the best I could and arranged media coverage with every major TV network from BC to Newfoundland. I also ar-ranged radio interviews and there were close to 100 newspaper articles about the tour. Forty-� ve times I arranged for gov-ernment dignitaries to meet Robert at city hall, as the police escorted him in. Other events were planned at schools and local grocery stores to raise awareness. Along with all that, I took thousands of pictures and video clips, and cycled beside Robert each time he ran to city hall, or when he ran a marathon.

I encouraged and supported Robert daily and never lost site of the � nal goal, St John’s, Newfoundland. Our tour was very high pro� le, and with the help of the media our coverage was worldwide. Peo-ple honked their car horns in recognition as they passed Robert cycling or running every single day.

Did I have any experience to organize a campaign of this size by myself? No, but the way I see it, everyone gets up in the morning and puts their pants on one leg at a time. This is what I told myself before I made any phone calls to arrange an event for Robert. It didn’t matter who I was calling or what I was arranging, I bypassed anyone who was not able to give me the � nal yes or no to my request. I always spoke with clear intention and I made sure the person on the other end of

As women, it is in our nature to help the people we love. At times it seems overwhelming

or more than we can handle, but we do what we have to do in order to see our loved

ones succeed in life.

By Suzanne Couchman, Trade Secrets

Heading up a cross country campaign

Trials & Tribulations: Beating the odds...


the phone was as excited as I was by the end of the conversation.

Was I concerned I wouldn’t be quali� ed to do the job? Never. I knew the tour would be com-pleted the second Robert said to me, “Wouldn’t it be great to run and cycle across Canada? I knew I could only control how hard I worked and what I did and not how people reacted to it, or how they supported us. I did things logically, one step at a time.

If you are trying to organize a campaign for someone, it is very im-portant you believe 100% in the person and what they want to achieve. Be prepared and know your own information inside out before calling for help and then you will be taken seriously.

If you speak like you’ve done it a million times before, directly, with a clear tone, you will get the response you want. Never be afraid to ask questions. It’s amazing how many people come to your aid if you are unsure of what you are doing.

My desire to help Robert succeed in reaching his goal of crossing Canada far out weighed my fear of rejection or fail-ure in the things I was trying to help him accomplish.

It’s not hard to support someone who also supports your own endeavours.Robert fully supports me in my job, man-aging Trade Secrets at the Cambridge

Centre Mall. He also supports my art functions when I display and sell my paintings and he’s the biggest fan of my singing and recorded works.

I took care of Robert and his campaign on the road, and in return he took care of me too. Every night, regardless of how tired he was, he cooked supper for us, al-ways with a smile on his face.

The tour was a success because I felt appreciated and we were there for each other.

Would I do it again? Absolutely!

Suzanne Couchman and her partner,Robert Bertolas, with a display of Suzanne’s

artwork at Cambridge Festival.


We had been in Canada just � ve years before John decided that it

was time to become his own boss! Be-ing an engineer, it made sense to continue working in a consultancy role within in-dustry.

We decided that I would take on the background clerical duties. However, with a strong passion for wellness, I de-cided to start my own business and be-came a certi� ed Medical Exercise Spe-cialist and Personal Trainer.

For 25 years, I provided wellness and � tness programs to corporations, health clubs and symptomatic individuals. I loved every minute of it!

Did this create con� ict? Absolutely! But problems are nothing more than chal-lenges. And challenges equal growth!

However, a few years ago, because of

health issues related to having had polio, I was forced to give up most of my � t-ness activities including my business. Coincidentally, with the manufacturing environment changing in Canada, John decided to make a career change and we opened “Welcome Home Inspection Ser-vices” together and have grown it into the successful business it is today.

Do con� icts still arise? All the time! We have different strengths and weak-nesses. John is more technical and logi-cal, whereas I am more ideas driven and outgoing.

Therefore, we work well together and are grateful for the lessons we are learn-ing along the way.

We love what we do and who we are and always will be a strong team.

We balance each day to embrace new opportunities as they arise and I have

been blessed with the faith and skills to, again, provide well-ness information others ignore as “The Vitality Lady.”

You CAN have it all as long as you feed yourself and your mind every day.

What happened in the past has prepared you for today.

It is time to design your life in a way that inspires you and those around you!

If I had known 37 years ago when arriving in Canada

that John and I would be spending most of that time

as partners in our own businesses, would I have turned

back? Absolutely not!

Now is the time to design the next 20 years

h d b i C d

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Roblynn HunnisettTouchstone Event

Management

How will you speak in front of 300 com-plete strangers when the most you have

spoken to is 8-25 sales reps or committee members around the oval table? They were all people you knew and respected and who re-spected you. You have the fear that most adults have, Public Speaking. So how do you start?1. Know your audience. Who are they? What are they expecting to get from your speech? How many are coming to the con-ference? Is this a technical speech requiring audience participation? What companies and associations does the audience come from? Why have they come to hear you?2. Practise, Practise, Practise. Know your material inside and out. Practise out loud, so you have the rhythm of your speech and you will know how to speed up or slow down. Find your style of speaking as you practise. If you are not naturally humorous, do not try humour. If you are using a Pow-erPoint presentation, practise with it. 3. Dress for Success. Forget the herring-bone and pinstripes. Leave gramma’s garden

on the � oor. Keep your out� t monochromatic with a punch of colour in a shirt or necklace. Keep in mind your shoes. The audience of 300, male and female will all see your shoes while you are on stage, no matter how animat-ed you are. Buff and puff your leather shoes.4. Own the Stage. Whether you are speaking in front of a small or a large audi-ence, own the stage. Move around it, for-wards, backwards, and sideways. Do not make yourself dizzy, walk with purpose. There is nothing worse than seeing a speak-er grip the lectern for 40-60 minutes, won-dering if the vortex is sucking them into the ground. Do not forget great eye contact.5. Get a Coach or Mentor. A coach is another speaker, someone trained to take you to the next level. Consider joining a group or association of speakers. Talk to someone you can trust and respect.

You have been given this opportunity, so now take your self-con� dence and show them your expertise. Speak with passion, knowledge and from your heart. Remember to smile.

To speak or not to speak?Your knees are knocking, the sweat is rolling and your

heart is beating so fast you feel you might faint. The one

part of becoming the new CEO of your company you are

dreading is speaking on your expertise at a conference.


He’s a man seen living his beliefs, his concern for the environment evident

by bicycling throughout the city to meet-ings and activities, rather than by driv-ing.

Bill’s life-long values originated with his mother, Carole, and paternal grand-mother, Thelma. His mother endured mental health issues but still taught her seven-year-old son how to re-invent him-self when his parents divorced. Through domestic employment, she used that con-duit to illustrate the integrity of honour-ing responsibilities and commitments. Her strong verbal support guided him through his formative, young-adult years

encouraging him to make good personal choices and to understand that family was in his corner. “You only need to ask,” he often heard, recognizing the statement’s underlying blessings. Ninety-six-year-old Thelma had exempli� ed the merit of relationships through the stability and continuity of her supportive, long-term marriage – her successful life partner-ship.

By Grade 11, Bill was being bullied and beaten, due to his small stature and English background, while living in the town of Hudson, Quebec. His French language teacher, Joanne, suggested he read Norman V. Peale’s, “The Power of Positive Thinking,” to help him surmount gripping fears of verbal book reports. She told the teenager to apply humour which would encourage people to laugh with him, not at him. Both the book and teach-er proved to be de� ning moments, chang-ing his poor self-worth, shyness andinsecurity into credibility and safety in the spotlight. With a new outgoing man-ner and a skill to connect with others, he matured, along with a clearer validation of “who he was”.

Bill K irby, an energetic man in his mid-forties, optimistically holds

the better picture in mind. He ran for city council, volunteered at the

YMCA on two committees, then sat on an advisory group for the

city of Cambridge, all the time drawing on his ambition and natural

leadership traits.

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Jill entered his life in high school and they formed a life-long friendship. By getting him to understand that “others wanted to listen to him” Bill soon real-ized “he would be safe depending on them.” He grasped the art of telling it like it was. “Listen to advice and if good, then take it” still resounds in his mind from Jill. Her help in vetting his relationship dif� culties also prevented potential mis-takes.

Bill’s sister, Tina, married a man who championed her business wit. As a team they developed opportunities, their � rst being a hairdressing salon for Tina. She applied strong marketing and decision-making skills to that, then rolled those qualities into four additional winning joint ventures. Their � fth and current en-terprise is an auto wrecking/scrap yard lot. Bill has long admired her strategies and borrowed some for his own use.

An ex-wife illustrated the importance

of con� ict resolution and to look deeper into whom other people are. Bill discov-ered with relationships that “to make a snap decision is not a good thing.”

Today, Nancy is Bill’s partner. Pride tinges his voice when describing her beauty and brilliance. She is an event co-ordinator for Cambridge and might seek her Doctorate in Political Science. However, if she doesn’t, maybe they’ll develop a life coaching business for those unable to uncover personal transi-tional and lifestyle dynamics. Nancy will promote its educational and technical as-pects and together they anticipate happy challenges and enjoyment. As a pair of risk-takers and adventurers, Bill expects “she will support his hopes just as much as he supports hers” and knows his bet-terment is her goal for his future. “We are greater as a couple than each would be as individuals,” he voiced, suggesting that “their parallel lives complement each other.” Nancy is the one who encouraged his involvement with community and recent entry into the municipal election. Bill has always searched for “true bal-ance” and realizes his fortune in having found it.

Bill’s lessons have multiplied, com-ing from these women who have framed his opportunities to pay-it-forward. He accepts when “we’re told we’re good at something, listen to that advice. Believe in yourself, otherwise we become our own harshest critics.” He knows that “when a woman understands her passion and fol-lows it, a man supporting her wholeheart-edly will let her grow.” Bill highlights the positive in people, commending them by saying, “Don’t ever be afraid to let that quality show.” With eyes twinkling, his new self-statement has evolved. “I’m no longer shy. Now I tell it like it is!”

Nancy Movrin, Bill Kirby’s partner. Pride tinges his voice when describing her beauty

and brilliance.


Andrea McKeownOfficeWorks

Virtually the right hand woman for the job “Behind every successful man is a woman” is a saying

that has been around for quite a long time and usually

refers to the man’s spouse who generally takes care of

the home front and all that is involved with this, which

is no easy task in itself. But have you ever noticed how

many successful men have female assistants running

the show at the off ice?

Quite a few. So, it could be said that an assistant also contributes greatly

to the success of these men as well, but in a different capacity. Most successful male executives, presidents of compa-nies, lawyers, etc. have a female assistant to help in keeping them well organized and on top of everything. This, I believe, enables them to do what they do best – run a successful company.

The types of duties an assistant is re-sponsible for vary from company to com-pany, but one thing is for sure – assistants are relied upon heavily by the men who run them. The assistant practically be-comes their right hand woman, knowing exactly what needs to be done on a daily basis including taking care of all the min-ute details; basically running the show like a well-oiled machine. Without them,

I believe these men would not be able to perform their jobs as effectively and this could then possibly hinder their chance of success.

But since the dawn of the internet, something very interesting has happened – the birth of the virtual assistant, a role primarily dominated by females. Now pretty much all the duties that are per-formed in of� ces all over the world can be done virtually, including call answer services and customer support.

Utilizing these types of services is fast becoming the next big thing and now that many women run their own businesses, both men and women often use the ser-vices of virtual assistants for almost every aspect of their business. And the amazing thing is – the assistant doesn’t even need to work in the same city!

So the next time you see a success fu l businessman,remember, he probably had a lot of support from women who helped get him there!

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Cathy MendlerA New Leaf

It takes a specia l person to work behind the scenes

ensuring that everything runs smoothly. The woman in

a supporting role is expected to be a jack-of-all-trades,

or perhaps we should say “jill-of-all-trades”?

Working behind the scenes: you are a jack-of-all-trades

Planner and OrganizerRunning a household is similar to being

the conductor of an orchestra. Scheduling appointments, shuttling children to and from sports activities and music lessons, parent-teacher meetings at the school, gro-cery shopping, laundry, gardening – the list is endless.

She is good at prioritizing what needs to be done and seeing that those priorities are accomplished. People who are better at seeing the overall picture often aren’t good at handling the details.

SupporterSupport can take many shapes – from the

spouse working long hours, furthering his education, to agonizing over tough deci-sions being made at work, etc. A promo-tion can become a double-edged sword. A move may be required. The disruption of uprooting from family, friends and a job can be extremely stressful – aside from everything the actual move entails. The most important element in dealing with change is attitude.

SacrificeThere is always

some degree of sacri� ce in these situations. The

woman must assume a supporting role will-ingly. A couple should feel the end result will be worth it – however that couple de-� nes success. If the woman feels she has had to sacri� ce everything that is important to her, success will not be achieved

AppreciationMany people measure success from a

monetary perspective – a bigger home, nice cars, expensive wardrobes, vacations, etc. Other people equate success in terms of what they achieve from a personal per-spective and their community involvement. As children grow older, the woman often starts to spread her wings. While her previ-ous formal education may have started her down a certain path, it’s not uncommon to set off in a completely different direction. The valuable skill set she develops over time supporting her spouse positions her well to achieve her own great success.


Never be the “yes” manAs women, most of us have grown seamlessly into supporting roles of one kind or an-

other. We care for younger siblings, for our husband and family, and support manag-

ers in the workplace. Often we f ind that the spotlight doesn’t shine on us directly but

on the male counterparts that we support.

When the synergy of a pairing like this is strong, then make no mis-

take; each role is just as important as the other. The tree can’t survive without the roots. There have been countless exam-ples throughout the ages demonstrating the importance of the “Women behind the Men.” Without our vital contribu-tions, the canvas of history would have been brushed with far less depth and di-versity.

Why do there continue to be so many examples of women who work tirelessly behind the scenes to promote a man’s endeavours? Whether you believe the reasons to be cultural, historical, or oth-erwise, as women we have an innate abil-ity to nurture all relationships that we’re a part of, social or business.

So what can we do in our daily lives to increase our strength and development in these areas?• Never be the “yes” man (so to speak)!

Have an opinion that is individual to you and you will be far more valuable

and respected than someone who al-ways goes with the � ow.

• Being in a support role is often quite similar to being in a managerial role and requires the same skills to be ap-plied. Stay in tune with the objectives and challenges of your male manag-er. The same thing can be said when supporting your husband and family. When you know the destination, you can effectively steer the ship.

• Remain loyal and professional. In a work environment, never let ego get in the way of your performance. Personal feelings or disagreements can’t get in the way of your impeccable profes-sionalism in representing your man-ager.

• Don’t undervalue yourself. The days of minimally skilled secretary or the uneducated housewife are long gone. Always respect yourself as a person, your roles and responsibilities in life, and strive to constantly develop and improve.

By Carolyn Benavidez, CARe SolutionsRespect yourself. Strive to constantly develop and improve.


I was one of those women who supported her husband

by staying home to take care of the family while he

returned to school, not once, but twice. I continued to

stand by my man while he struggled to get his career

off the ground working often seven days a week.

Waiting your turn?Stimulate your brain

Rhonda CozzarinHelpMePC

Although at times I felt left behind, I knew that it was better for our family

for only one of us to push forward. School has always been important to my husband and me, after all it has been said that edu-cation is an investment in yourself, and that it can never be lost or taken away from you.

So, here I am now, after all those years of waiting my turn while taking care of my fam-ily. I got a great education, and my dreams have come true and even better, I have start-ed my own business. My dear husband of 25 years has been very understanding and patient and now supports my agenda.

Some tips for those women, who like me, are waiting their turn:1. Get current and stimulate your brain! Take night courses to get you out of the house at least one evening a week. An added bonus is that you will have something interesting to talk about with your partner. Education can also increase self-esteem for those women staying at home taking care of their families who may not feel good about themselves. 2. Become software savvy! Take com-puter courses! If you will be away from work for awhile, you will need to keep your computer skills updated so that your return to work will be seamless. I highly recom-mend taking Word, Excel and PowerPoint courses. Need to know skills include:

• Know how to create a professional document that is not only correctly set up, but is formatted with some pizzazz

• Knowing how to Mail Merge is a busy of� ce necessity

• Learn how to create a spreadsheet, how to calculate in the cells and show your results in a spectacular chart!

• Learn how to make a great presenta-tion! Be creative with an entertain-ing PowerPoint presentation that others will applaud!

3. Beautify yourself! While taking care of your family, it’s easy to forget or even lose yourself. Consult with a hair-dresser and � nd a friend to help you with your wardrobe. Find what you are look-ing for using search engines, business di-rectories and Google Maps, etc. 4. Be bold! If you are considering starting your own business, do consider a professionally designed website so that others needing your services can � nd you. Today, most people are conditioned to search for businesses online. A profes-sionally designed and search optimized website is a good investment.

Now that I have let you in on my secret, share this article with other women who are at home taking care of their families waiting for their turn to show the world who they are, and what they have to offer.

Computing for the Geekaphobe


by Erika Holenski, BSc., ND, KW Health Connection

Being a behind-the-scenes star can be exhausting. It t is important to take time out of your day to relax and really just be with yourself. And what is better than cozy-ing up to a warm mug of sweetness and a cookie? Try the following:

Tea LatteThis is a spin on the traditional London

Fog. Pick your favourite herbal tea; mine is strawberry. Steep your tea in half a cup of boiling water. While this is steeping for 5-6 minutes, heat one cup of milk (cow or soy) on the stove until steamy hot. Add the hot milk to your tea. You may wish to add a teaspoon of honey to sweeten it even more.

Ginger snapsFrom my family recipe book with a twist.

I fully believe in treating yourself with something that reminds you of your child-hood. In the following recipe, I have the traditional ingredients and also a few ways to make it healthier.

1 cup butter, room temperature1 cup sugar (increase molasses & de-

crease sugar. Molasses is high in iron and Vitamin B12)

1 egg1/4 cup molasses2 cups all-purpose � our (or use buck-

wheat or spelt � our)2 tsp baking soda1 tsp ground cinnamon (or grate your

own from a cinnamon stick)1 tsp ground cloves1 tsp ground ginger (can grate fresh gin-

ger about 1½ – 2 tsp. Ginger is a natural an-ti-in� ammatory, stimulates and helps diges-tion and has a warming effect on the body, which is great for the winter months.)

1/4 tsp salt (sea salt without added sul-phites)

To decrease the glycemic index and in-crease the protein content, you can add half a cup of ground white kidney beans. It sounds bizarre, but it does not alter the taste and does increase the nutritional value of the cookie.

In a bowl, cream butter and sugar. Beat in egg and molasses. Combine the � our, bak-ing soda, cinnamon, cloves, ginger and salt; gradually add to creamed mixture. Chill for 30-60 minutes.

Roll into 1¼ inch balls and dip in sug-ar (optional). Place on ungreased baking sheets. Bake at 375° for about 10 minutes or until surface cracks. Do keep a close eye on them as they can turn dark brown very quickly.

Cool on baking racks. Enjoy!

Recipe s fo r Su cce ss

Recharging the behind-the-scenes star

Being a behind-the-scenes star can be exhausting. It is important to take time out of your day to relax and really just be with yourself. And what is better than cozying up to a warm mug of sweetness and a cookie? Try the following:


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Powerful Women Magazine Winter 2010

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