Pear Tree Parish Magazine April/May 2016 Pear Tree Parish ... · and pink-tipped blossom decks the...

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Pear Tree Parish Magazine April/May 2016

Pear Tree Parish Magazine

Jesus Chapel, St. Mary Extra, Pear Tree Avenue, Southampton

APRIL/MAY 2016 30p

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A Message from the Pulpit ................................................................ .. 3

Church Diary ...….……………………………………….......................... 4, 5

High Days and Holy Days for April ....................................................... 6

Don’t be afraid of the clouds, the Bible in 50 words, Dawn Chorus ...... 7

Family News, From the Church Registers ............................................ 8

Speakers’ Corner, Blood donation in Bitterne ...................................... 9

Annual Church Meeting, The outlook for churches in 2016 ................. 10

Uncle Eustace, Thought for the Month ................................................ 11

An Historical Sketch of Woolston, Prayer Corner ................................. 12

Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder, Boxercise ............................. 13

Christian Aid Week ............................................................................... 14

A Week of Prayer for May, Who do you tell your problems to? ............ 15

Special Events in Winchester Cathedral ............................................... 16

Community News .................................................................................. 17, 18, 19

Pear Tree Puzzle Page .......................................................................... 20

Children’s Page ...................................................................................... 21

Smile Lines ............................................................................................ 22

Looking ahead, Puzzle Solutions ........................................................... 23

Advertisements …………………………………………………………...... 24, 25, 26

Services, Who’s Who in Pear Tree Church ……………………………... Back page

The deadline for the June/July magazine is Sunday 9th May. Any items may be left in the Church,

sent to Doris Pratt at 64 Gainsford Road, Bitterne, or e-mailed to [email protected].

Pear Tree Parish Magazine © Pear Tree Church PCC

Any views or opinions expressed in this publication, unless specifically stated otherwise, are those of the writer.

Advertisers in this publication do not necessarily carry the endorsement or verification of Pear Tree Church PCC.

CONTENTS

At Pear Tree Church WE AIM to love God and our neighbours.

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THE PURPOSE of the Church in Pear Tree is to provide a place of worship where all people are welcome and encouraged to experience God’s love in

faith and prayer; where we will reach out as witnesses to discover the needs of the local and wider communities using our gifts and resources and proclaim

the Gospel of Jesus Christ in the power of the Holy Spirit.

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Revd Miles Newton (Tel. 80441124) is Priest-in-Charge of Pear Tree Church and Vicar of St. Mark’s Church, Woolston

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Dear Friends

I do pray that you all had a joyful Easter and were able to join us at some of the special services

from Palm Sunday through to Easter Day.

For me personally, the sunrise service on Easter morning has always been the most meaningful.

An early morning walk, often in the half-light, with birds singing and sun slowly rising, with time to

reflect on what it would have been like for Jesus’ followers on that first Easter morn - the pain of

grief and fear, followed by confusion, disbelief and then finally ....... joy. The joy of new life, the

new life that Christ offered His followers through His death and resurrection; a new life that He

still offers us nearly 2000 years later.

I do love this time of year. We only have to open our eyes to see new life all around us. The

spring bulbs will have been out for some time by the time you read this. Some of the trees will be

bursting into leaf, blossom will adorn others. Birds will be building their nests, frogs will have laid

their spawn and, if you venture down Allington Lane, lambs should be dancing around the fiends.

None of this can detract from the pain and suffering in the world, but it can give us hope. Hope in

a loving and forgiving God who gave His only Son, that we might have life.

I would like to finish with a poem by Cyril Lloyd .......

Spring Sonnet

The lilac bush puts forth its purple spikes and pink-tipped blossom decks the apple tree, while on the ground the bright-faced primrose likes to highlight shaded violet's modesty; and on the cherry bough full-throated thrush sings out in answer to the cuckoo’s call, and over all the earth the first fair flush of Spring unfolds, its beauty to enthral. In full accord but by more wondrous means the Holy Spirit quickens all that lives and like Spring’s sun on many-shaded greens new life to people’s varied nature gives. And as Spring blooms are rendered safe from frost may God save us from sin, else we are lost.

Cyril Lloyd

May God bless the world with hope this Spring.

Carolyn Jennings

Licensed Lay Minister

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SUN 3 APR 2ND SUNDAY OF EASTER2ND SUNDAY OF EASTER2ND SUNDAY OF EASTER

10.00 a.m. 11.15 a.m.

Parish Communion Mawundo Mission Table in the Church Hall

MON 4 APR 10.00 a.m. Crafty Coffee Morning in the Church Hall - all welcome

TUE 5 APR 9.30 a.m. 7.30 p.m.

Morning Prayer in the Church - all welcome Order of Night Service (Compline) in the Church - all welcome

FRI 8 APR 10.30 a.m. Messy Church in the Church Hall - see page 18

SUN 10 APR 3RD SUNDAY OF EASTER3RD SUNDAY OF EASTER3RD SUNDAY OF EASTER

10.00 a.m. Parish Communion

TUE 12 APR 9.30 a.m. Morning Prayer in the Church - all welcome

SUN 17 APR 4TH SUNDAY OF EASTER 4TH SUNDAY OF EASTER 4TH SUNDAY OF EASTER

11.00 a.m.

2.00 p.m. 3.00 p.m.

Worship Together with St. Mark’s Church at Pear Tree Church, followed by a lunch in the Church Hall Baptism in the Church Baptism in the Church

MON 18 APR 10.00 a.m. Crafty Coffee Morning in the Church Hall - all welcome


SAT 23 APR 10.30 a.m. Jumble Sale in the Church Hall - see page 18

SUN 24 APR 5TH SUNDAY OF EASTER5TH SUNDAY OF EASTER5TH SUNDAY OF EASTER

10.00 a.m.

11.30 a.m.

St. George’s Day Parish Worship (non-Communion) with Woolston Rainbows, Brownies and Guides Annual Parochial Church Meeting in the Church Hall - see page 10


SAT 30 APR 10.00 a.m. Talents Table Top Sale in the Church Hall - see page 17

April Diary

ST. GEORGE’S DAY

Anne Gerrard, Woolston District President, will be leading Woolston Rainbows, Brownies and Guides in a celebration of St. George’s Day at

our 10.00 a.m. service on Sunday 24th April. The girls will be writing the prayers and taking part in the service, when the

theme will be “Heroes”. Please come along to support them and join in with the celebration.

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SUN 1 MAY 6TH SUNDAY OF EASTER6TH SUNDAY OF EASTER6TH SUNDAY OF EASTER 10.00 a.m.

11.15 a.m. Parish Communion Mawundo Mission Table in the Church Hall

MON 2 MAY 10.00 a.m. Crafty Coffee Morning in the Church Hall - all welcome TUE 3 MAY 9.30 a.m.

7.30 p.m. Morning Prayer in the Church - all welcome Order of Night Service (Compline) in the Church - all welcome

WED 4 MAY 1.00-4.00 p.m. OPEN CHURCH THU 5 MAY ASCENSION DAYASCENSION DAYASCENSION DAY 7.30 p.m. Worship Together at St. Mark’s Church FRI 6 MAY 6.00-7.30 p.m. Family Fun Night in the Church Hall - see page 19 SUN 8 MAY SUNDAY AFTER ASCENSISUNDAY AFTER ASCENSISUNDAY AFTER ASCENSION DAYON DAYON DAY 10.00 a.m. Parish Communion TUE 10 MAY 9.30 a.m.

7.00 p.m. 8.00 p.m.

Morning Prayer in the Church - all welcome Standing Committee meeting at Woolston Community Centre Joint Standing Committee meeting at Woolston Community Centre

WED 11 MAY 1.00-4.00 p.m. OPEN CHURCH SUN 15 MAY PENTECOSTPENTECOSTPENTECOST

CHRISTIAN AID WEEKCHRISTIAN AID WEEKCHRISTIAN AID WEEK 11.00 a.m.

2.00 p.m. 3.00 p.m. 4.00 p.m.

Worship Together at St. Mark’s Church, followed by a Christian Aid Lunch in Woolston Community Centre - see page 14 NO SERVICE AT PEAR TREE Baptism in the Church Baptism in the Church CTI Ecumenical Service at Pear Tree Green United Reformed Church

MON 16 MAY 10.00 a.m. Crafty Coffee Morning in the Church Hall - all welcome TUE 17 MAY 9.30 a.m.

7.30 p.m. Morning Prayer in the Church - all welcome PCC meeting in the Hall Committee Room

WED 18 MAY 1.00-4.00 p.m.

7.30 p.m. OPEN CHURCH Discussion Group at 22 Lyndock Place - see page 7

SUN 22 MAY TRINITY SUNDAYTRINITY SUNDAYTRINITY SUNDAY 10.00 a.m. Parish Worship (non-Communion) TUE 24 MAY 9.30 a.m. Morning Prayer in the Church

- all welcome WED 25 MAY 1.00-4.00 p.m. OPEN CHURCH SUN 29 MAY 1ST SUNDAY AFTER TRI1ST SUNDAY AFTER TRI1ST SUNDAY AFTER TRINITYNITYNITY 10.00 a.m. Parish Communion TUE 31 MAY 9.30 a.m. Morning Prayer in the Church

- all welcome

May Diary

OPEN CHURCH

Commencing 4th May, Pear Tree Church will be open

1.00 p.m. to 4.00 p.m. every Wednesday during the

summer months. If you have not been inside our church before, please

feel free to drop in and have a look around, have a chat,

or sit quietly.

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HIGH DAYS AND HOLY DAYS FOR APRIL

1st April - All Fools’ Day In years gone by, the rules surrounding April Fool were this: between midnight and noon on 1 April, everyone is ‘fair game’ to be made a fool of. It is the morning of the practical joke. But the aim is not just to discomfort the victim: he must be tricked into taking action himself, sent on a ‘fool’s errand’.

And so children would be sent to the dairy for a pint of dove’s milk, or to the bookseller for The Life of Eve’s Mother. Practical jokes on a bigger scale were played: in 1860 a vast number of people received an official looking invitation to the Tower of London that read: ‘Admit the Bearer and Friends to view the Annual Ceremony of Washing the White Lions.’ Precisely the same trick had been played in 1698.

Then, on the stroke of noon, tradition decrees, April Fools is finished. If anyone attempts devilry thereafter, even while the clock is still striking, it recoils on his own head. A child would then race through the sing-song formula: ‘April-Fool-Day’s-past-and-gone-you’re-the-fool-and-I-am-none!’

4th April - Lady Day - the Annunciation This beautiful event (Luke 1:26-38) took place in Nazareth, when Mary is already betrothed to Joseph. The Archangel Gabriel comes to Mary, greets her as highly

favoured, tells her not to be afraid, that she will bear a son Jesus, and that her elderly cousin Elizabeth is already pregnant (with John the Baptist).

The church calendar is never quite as neat as some would like it. To celebrate the Annunciation on 25 March does indeed place the conception of Jesus exactly nine months from his birth on 25 December, but the latter part of March almost inevitably falls during Lent. But the birth and death of Jesus are intrinsically linked - he was born to die, and thus fulfil God’s purposes.

The Annunciation is a significant date in the Christian calendar - it is one of the most frequent depicted in Christian art. Gabriel’s gracious strength and Mary’s humble dignity have inspired many artists. Certainly Mary’s response to the angel has for centuries been an example of good faith in practice - humility, enquiry of God, and trusting acceptance in His will for her life.

23rd April - St George of the Golden Legend The Saint of an English Army before he was Patron Saint of England, St George may have been a soldier, but he was no Englishman. He was an officer in the Roman army under Diocletian, who refused to abandon his faith during the Terror, and was martyred at Lydda in Palestine about the year 300 AD - supposedly 23 April. Over the years St George became the example of a Christian fighting-man, a powerful helper against evil powers affecting individual lives. He was the soldier-hero of the Middle Ages, of whom remarkable deeds were reported.

In the Golden Legend of the 13th century, Jacobus de Voragine gave St George a handsome write-up. The story runs thus:

One day, St George rode up to the heathen city of Sylene in Lybia, where he found the citizens in great distress. A neighbouring dragon had forced them to surrender two sheep each day for its dinner, and when the sheep gave out, two of their children; and now they were about to sacrifice the King’s daughter, dressed as if for her wedding. St George encountered the little party by a stagnant lake, where the dragon lived, and persuaded the sobbing Princess to tell him why she was so miserable. At that moment the dragon appeared, looking inexpressibly revolting. The Saint charged, and drove his spear into the gaping mouth. To everyone’s amazement, he tumbled the monster over and over.

Then St George borrowed the Princess’s girdle, tied it round the dragon’s neck, and persuaded her to lead it back to Sylene herself. The sight of her approaching with the befuddled dragon on its makeshift lead emptied the town. When the inhabitants timidly crept back, St George promised to behead the dragon if they would all believe in Jesus Christ and be baptised.

It was a most effective form of evangelism, for everybody said ‘yes’ at once. So 15,000 people were baptised, and four carts were commissioned to remove the dragon’s body.

St George thus became a symbol of the war against evil, and is usually portrayed trampling the dragon of sin under his horse’s hoofs. The Crusaders had a vision of him helping them against the Saracens at Antioch, during the first Crusade, and so brought the story of St George back with them from Palestine.

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Springtime is the one time of the year when one is pleased to be up with the dawn. The sound of the birds greeting the new day at this time of year is so incredibly uplifting, they could melt a heart of stone.

Dawn Chorus

A glow in the east, faint fingers of dawn A single bird wakes, and greets the dim rays His voice fills the air, as morning takes form And soon he is joined by a chorus of praise.

They praise for their life, and the end of the night For perils survived, and hunters unfed. They praise for the day, and the beauty of light They praise for their flight; while we lay abed!

And yet, as we lay, and hear their fine song Our praises join theirs, our hearts lift with joy. We can’t match their skill, but yet sing along The birds and ourselves our voices employ

In worship of God, for gifts of new days A cadence of song, dawn chorus of praise.

Nigel Beeton

Don’t be afraid of the clouds

Have you ever sat and watched the clouds drift by? Some of them are vast, towering up and up into the sky. There can be clouds of discouragement and suffering in our lives as well, circumstances that temporarily blot out the sunlight of God’s love for us. You may have such a cloud hanging over your life right now. You may be in a hospital bed, or suffering discouragement, fear, despair or bereavement.

Clouds cut off our light and warmth, and leave us feeling penned in. But they can also bring unexpected good in our lives; in nature clouds bring life-giving water. The long-term result of their visit can be growth.

Have you ever noticed that sometimes, when you board a plane, the sky is like a thick grey ceiling? It looks impenetrable. But the plane does not hesitate - it climbs steadily onward and upward straight into the cloud. And what happens? Nothing! The cloud cannot block your progress, it must give way before you.

The simple truth is, you may not be able to see through clouds, but you can go through them. The plane uses navigational aids for guidance, and we have the Holy Spirit to guide us through the darkest times. And finally, we emerge through the cloudbank, and there before us is a sun-drenched sky of blue and golden glory, far above the dismal and disappointing things far below.

Whatever cloud is hanging over you at present, whether suffering, discouragement, fear, there IS something you can do about it NOW. Pray – pour out your heart to the Lord about it. He has promised that His grace will be sufficient for anything that we encounter in this life.

And – look up. Look towards heaven, think beyond those clouds, and remember His promise that the sufferings we may be undergoing here are nothing compared to the glory that God has prepared for us there.

The Bible assures us: ‘The Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly. O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man that trusts in you.’ Psalm 84: 11-12

The Bible in 50 words

God made Adam bit Noah arked Abraham split Joseph ruled Jacob fooled Bush talked Moses balked Pharaoh plagued People walked Sea divided Tablets guided Promise landed Saul freaked David peaked Prophets warned Jesus born God walked Love talked Anger crucified Hope died Love rose Spirit flamed Word spread God remained. - anon

A new discussion group ......

... will be meeting on the third Wednesday of each

month at 7.30 p.m. at 22 Lyndock Place, commencing

on Wednesday 18th May and led by Revd Miles Newton.

All are welcome. Why not come along and join us?

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FROM THE CHURCH REGISTERS

Special birthday congratulations go this month to Joyce Holland, who celebrated her 90th birthday in March with friends and relatives who came from all over the country for a family celebration.

The good wishes of everyone in Pear Tree and St. Mark’s Church go to Keith Sydenham, who

has announced his retirement as our Licensed Lay Minister. Keith has been a familiar face at Pear Tree for a number of years now and will be particularly remembered for his references to Liverpool Football Club at the start of his Sunday sermons

(particularly if they had won the day before and Southampton had lost!). The following message has been received from Keith .....

RETIREMENT, IT COMES TO MOST OF US IN TIME I have been in ministry now for 25 years, and ,yes, it is now my time to take a step back and retire from day to day ministry. I have had a number of meetings with Miles Newton over many months over my feelings about retirement as Lay Minister with Pear Tree and St Mark’s. This was not a decision taken lightly; in fact, it was probably one of toughest I have had to make.. I have always felt privileged to hold this Ministry and certainly very humble, from the day I was licensed by the Bishop of Lancaster in the Diocese of Blackburn and the subsequent transfer of my licence to Winchester. With the blessing of Miles I will carry on my Ministry, but as Lay Minister Emeritus, this means I will come off all rotas and day to day services but can be called upon in emergencies ( I trust there will not be too many !). May I thank you all for your kind care and support you have given me over the years God Bless You All

Keith’s last service with us will be on Sunday 17th April and we hope that as many of you as possible will come along and join us for a celebratory lunch in the Church Hall after the service.

We all wish Keith and Jan a long, happy and peaceful retirement.

Many of our older congregation may remember Mike, Viv, Heather and Sarah Benwell who were

with us back in the 1980s. Mike subsequently became attached to a church in Eastleigh and is now Chaplain at Leeds University and Rural Dean. Heather is now a lawyer and Sarah an author. Very sadly, Viv died very suddenly on Friday 5th February, aged 59. We send our deepest

condolences to Mike and all his family and we’re sure that all those who remember this lovely family will want to keep them in their prayers.

Funerals May they rest in peace

David Marston - aged 78 Jack Smith - aged 71

Ann Neary Mary Russell

Dawn Byers - aged 65 Paul Moule - aged 54

Baptisms May they grow in faith,

supported by their parents and godparents

Summer Curnow Edward Curnow Chloe Andrews Logan Andrews

Interment of Ashes Joseph Barter Rita Twaddle Andrew Lamb

Elizabeth Hayward

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Blood donation in Bitterne

With thousands of patients receiving blood transfusions every year, NHS Blood and Transplant is challenging the people of Woolston and Bitterne to make a date to donate and sign up to save lives.

Donated blood is vital for a wide variety of life-saving procedures in local hospitals including Southampton General Hospital and RSH. Patients undergoing major surgery and emergency treatment

often require blood transfusions, but perhaps less well-known is the fact that blood is essential to the treatment for many different types of cancer and blood disorders.

You can register as a donor, find out whether we’ve got a session coming up in your area and book an appointment to donate whenever and wherever you are through www.blood.co.uk or by using our app

on your Android, Windows or Apple device. To download an app for your device, search 'NHSGiveBlood' in the app store.

The next session in Bitterne is on 13 April 2016 at Bitterne Methodist Church, Wesley Centre Building,

White's Road, Bitterne. SO19 7NS

Session times - 10:00 to 14:00

Speakers’ Corner

What do you know about Speakers’ Corner? In case you have no idea, it is in Hyde Park and is renowned for being somewhere where anyone can say their piece as long as it is within the law. Apparently, there are other Speakers’ Corners in various parts of London, in other cities and even in other countries.

I have been known to have my own Speakers’ Corner rant about something with the comment “Pat is on her soapbox”. Well, I would like to do that just now.

I would like to have a moan about the amount of litter that lines our streets. I am aware of a Clean for the Queen movement and that some of our congregation took part in a litter pick on Pear Tree Green but I have just returned home from walking the dog around Mayfield Park; just how much rubbish is there about?

I picked some of it up and put it in the bin as I had a plastic bag with me, but when the plastic bottle is on the pavement right next to a rubbish bin I ask myself “why?”

People may say the Local Council have a responsibility to clean our streets but in a time of major budget cuts is that an appropriate use of resources? Surely our Children and Elderly Care services need that money more?

So here is my new resolution now that Lent is over and New Year resolutions are in a distant place – to ensure I have a plastic bag with me, so I feel OK about picking litter up which I will put in the bin or even take home and put it in mine. How do you feel about joining me? I will even give you some if my doggy bags to pick it up with! Then just maybe litter won’t beget more litter.

God gave us a wonderful world for which we are tasked to be good stewards; what are we leaving for future generations?

I am not always very good at sticking to my plans but this time I pray that God gives me the will and the commitment to follow through.

Bye-bye Soapbox!

Pat Hawkins

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The outlook for churches in 2016

During 2016 some 400 churches are likely to be started or planted in the UK, offset by perhaps 340 closing (many such due to small, non-viable congregations). About a quarter of the new churches could be Fresh Expressions.

While four-fifths of the new churches will probably be in England, the other three countries of the UK will see new church beginnings also, especially among immigrant and independent churches. Many new groupings of churches have started in recent years, like Network Churches and the Filling Station in Scotland, which start new churches or encourage existing ones.

There is also likely to be a net increase of some 200 new ministers this year, many of them women, the growth being seen especially among the black Pentecostal churches. So 2016 promises to be a year of gains and losses, as all years are, but there is no decrease in the extent of “fields white for harvest.”

Sources: UK Church Statistics for attendance figures, funeral numbers, new churches, and Office for National Statistics for mortality and fertility rate proportions.

It’s Spring, and Annual Church Meetings are in the air.…

There is a feeling of spring in the air. The gardens and verges are full of daffodils.

Time for a Vicar’s heart to turn to thoughts of.... Annual Parochial Church Meetings.

Annual Parochial Church Meetings are bearable if a vicar has charge of only one or two parishes, but spare a thought for the

clergy with six, seven or more parishes.

In each parish, there must be a meeting every year before 30th April. The purpose is to receive reports on the work of the Parochial Church Council and the Deanery Synod, the parish’s

accounts, the fabric of the church building and many other aspects of parish life, as well as to elect people to serve on the Parochial Church Council and as sidespeople. Every person whose

name is on the parish’s electoral roll is entitled to attend, speak and vote.

So when you attend the APCM, should you stand also for the PCC this year? It is something to pray about, and to consider before God whether your gifts may be of use to your local church.

Your PCC has a number of duties and responsibilities: it must look after the financial affairs of the church, the care, maintenance and insurance of the fabric of the church and its goods and

ornaments, and the care and maintenance of the churchyard. So we need people with talent and skills! The PCC meets 6 times during the year and each member usually joins one or two

committees, which meet, on average, every eight weeks.

A nomination form is on the Church notice board. You are encouraged to step forward and offer to stand for election.

If you want to learn what our church does, what it’s ministry is all about, and what the various church officers do, come to our Annual Parochial Church Meeting on

SUNDAY 24th April, 11.30 a.m. IN THE CHURCH HALL

You’ll probably be surprised to learn how much goes on.

PLEASE NOTE - to stand for election to the PCC, or to vote at the meeting, you must be on the Electoral Roll of the Church.

To qualify for the Electoral Roll in a parish, you have to be: over 16 baptised

a communicant member of the C of E, or at least of a Church in communion with the C of E a resident in the parish, or be registered as a non-resident elector.

For further information, please contact Jean Inglis (80252292), our Electoral Roll Officer.

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On how to run a church council meeting

The Rectory

St. James the Least of All

My dear Nephew Darren

Clearly, the sight of your Vicar running out of the room half way through your last

church council meeting, saying he should have stayed as a traffic warden, where he was

universally liked, has unnerved you. It would have unnerved me too, since a universally

popular traffic warden is an exceptional creature.

But perhaps it is necessary to give you some advice for the day when you do chair your

first church council meeting.

1. Consider every agenda issue carefully beforehand and decide what you would like to

do. Then, at the meeting, consult widely, listen to every opinion, weigh all the arguments,

and then do precisely what you had decided before the meeting ever took place.

2. Never, ever, let council members discuss hymns, which avoids getting blood on the

carpets.

3. Arrange the seating in rows, all facing the front, so that everyone has to respond

directly to you. The last thing you want is for council members to be able to discuss

matters freely with one another.

4. Start smoking a pipe. At those times when you are faced with an issue when you really

are unsure of how to respond, taking out your pipe, dismantling it, searching for a pipe

cleaner, squinting down the stem to see if it is clean, mopping out the goo in the bowl,

searching for your tobacco pouch, filling the pipe, tamping it down, asking if you can

borrow matches and attempting to light it several times over, will give you more than

sufficient time to formulate a reply. Once you have perfected the routine, the silence

will have been so protracted, that most of the committee will have long forgotten what

the question was anyway.

5. If someone is talking too long, consult your diary, noisily and obsessively, about next

month’s appointments, or write a note to a committee member who is at the back of the

room and get it passed to him. The speaker should soon get the

message.

These are the simpler techniques of committee management.

The advanced procedures must wait until you are strong enough

to bear them.

Your loving uncle,

Eustace

The Rev Dr Gary Bowness continues his tongue-in-cheek letters from “Uncle Eustace”

THOUGHT

FOR THE MONTH

Blessed are those who

can give without

remembering, and take

without forgetting

Anon

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“Woolston was a little place on its own - separate entirely to Southampton”. This statement made by a Woolston resident, encapsulates the whole philosophy of the true Woolstonian who was, and who

remains to this day, a separatist. The Itchen Bridge, which was opened in 1977, forging a permanent and some say “the missing link” with Southampton, has done little to undermine the feeling of pride in the uniqueness of Woolston village.

The River Itchen, a “tempestuous river” one seventeenth century visitor called it, was the natural barrier which enabled Woolston to retain its individuality and essentially village atmosphere which still lingers today.

The fierce pride of the Woolston community erupted in 1895 when Southampton, having achieved a successful annexation of Portswood and Shirley from South Stoneham rural district, sought to annex Woolston; the town failed. Mr PB Hayward, a leader in the public life of the parish, was joined by the Floating Bridge Mr Hayward, in the fight to keep Woolston out of the clutches of Southampton. The Haywards used as their clarion call the fact that the River Itchen was the town’s “natural boundary” and therefore “formed an impassable obstacle to annexation.”

A public enquiry raged for seven days and then found in favour of the Haywards; Woolston remained a rural area, and at this period in its history, Woolston was truly rural. The parish had no public lighting, no system of sewerage, most thoroughfares were private and unkerbed and the only main road was Portsmouth Road. Whilst the Haywards’ motives for seeking to preserve Woolston’s autonomy could not be said to be entirely altruistic (Portsmouth Road was then the property of the Floating Bridge Company), the fact remains that for the time being Woolston kept its independence, until 1920 when it was absorbed into the borough of Southampton.

However, the growth of modern Woolston occupies a relatively brief period. Throughout the nineteenth century, travel and communications improved and Woolston’s accessibility stems from 1836 with the opening of the Floating Bridge, a steam chain ferry. An 1868 O.S. map of the Woolston area depicts very little housing, except for a plethora of large villas needed to house the growing number of the middle-classes who viewed he eastern side of the river as a pastoral idyll; an escape from the urban sprawl of the developing port of Southampton.

In 1849, the compiler of the Southampton Street

Directory noted that there were a mere fifteen residents in Woolston worthy of being entered under the heading of “gentry”. This socially divisive approach set the pattern for nearly thirty years with the Directory of 1878 affirming that “care has been taken to insert only ‘bona fide Gentry’ in the list avoiding those who are engaged in trade.” Whilst the gentry of Victorian Woolston might wish to ignore the working-class section of their society, it was the artisan and trader who were to play a major role in Woolston’s development throughout the twentieth century.

Woolston’s early history

In AD994, Southampton was attacked and overrun by two Scandinavian kings, Sweyn of Denmark and Olaf of Norway. Although there is no written evidence to support the claim that Woolston derived its name from Olaf’s encampment (Olaf’s tun) on the eastern side of the river, an 11th century document does record the existence of the hamlet of Olvestune.

Throughout the 13th and 14th century, there are references to the manor of Wolveston. In 1424 a “Richard Inkpenn, conveyed the estate to his daughter Alice, wife of Ralph Chamberlayne and her issue.” In 1884, the Chamberlayne family were listed as the “Lords of the Manor and chief landowners”. In 1631 Sir George Rivers conveyed to a Nathaniel Mill the Woolston estate, consisting of “8 messuages, 7 gardens, 150 acres of land, 50 acres of meady, 60 of pasture, 35 of woodland, 45 of furze and the passage over the River Itchen to Southampton.” Twenty years earlier, the Elizabethan cartographer John Speed had published his map of Hampshire, recording the existence of the manor of Wullstone, although Wullstone appears to be no more than an area of meadow and woodland.

The importance of Woolston at this time was, of course, the ancient rights of passage, for around these rights a tightly-knit community grew, known as the Itchen Ferry Village. It is ironic, therefore, that Woolston was to eclipse the village, aided by the German bombers of World War II who reduced it and a major part of Woolston to rubble.

AN HISTORICAL SKETCH OF WOOLSTON taken from “Woolston before the Bridge”

HISTORY

CORNER

PRAYER CORNER

Lord God, we give thanks for all those who help

the homeless and needy and those with mental health problems.

Stephen Boulain-Gerrey

~ 13 ~


Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I walk toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the rubbish bin under the table, and notice that the bin is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first, but then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the rubbish anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only one cheque left. My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.

I am going to look for my cheques, but I notice the Pepsi is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, when a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye - they need water.

I put the Pepsi on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I’d better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote that someone had left on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor, so I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: The car isn't washed, The bills aren't paid, There is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter, The flowers don't have enough water, There is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, And I don't remember what I did with the car keys. Then, when I try to work out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired.

Don't laugh - if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!

(sent in by David Ward)

BOXERCISE! Every Thursday morning from 9.30 am at Pear Tree Church Hall,

starting on Thursday 14th April. Get ready to jab, hook, uppercut your way to a fitter, healthier you!

With the combination of boxing skills and circuit training, this full body conditioning workout will be fun, energetic and hard work. The result…. it will improve both your

strength and cardio fitness and burn calories. £5 a session.

Quote 'BoxingBlast' when you arrive to get your first class half price. All equipment will be provided; however, if you have your own gloves and hand wraps

you can bring them. For more information email [email protected] or call 07730413854.

~ 14 ~


rebuild, keep livestock and grow crops. It could also buy a goat, seeds and a wormery to help produce compost – all of which will give her a long-term income and a solid foundation for a new life.

‘If I could raise my house then I would feel much safer living here with my children.’

From 15-21 May, our church will join with more than 20,000 others across the country for the sake of people like Morsheda. Across the UK and Ireland we will deliver 7 million envelopes to our local neighbours to raise money for our global neighbours in need. It’s an opportunity to reach out to our community, and to make sure some of the world’s poorest people have enough to eat and a safe place to live.

CHRISTIAN AID WEEK 15th - 21st MAY

Christian Aid Week: the week we love every neighbour

Picture a young mother of four. Her husband has left. She has no land. No assets. No savings. And the only work she can get is backbreaking manual labour for as little as 74p a day. Her home has been flooded several times, and last August it flooded again. This is Morsheda. She’s our neighbour, and she desperately needs our help.

Morsheda is a young mother of four living in Bangladesh. For Morsheda’s family living on low-lying islands in the Brahmaputra River, floods are a terrifying part of everyday life. Morsheda can’t even count on having a safe place to call home: the single-room, corrugated-iron house she shares with her children has been flooded four times.

‘I feel very scared of the river. When I look at it I keep thinking “it is coming”.’

Dangers all around One year, her humble house filled up to her knees with floodwater. To stay dry, and keep away from the dangerous snakes that now swam through her home she raised her bed up on bricks. But during the night she was woken by a loud splash. In the pitch black, her baby son had fallen into the inky water. He could have drowned in moments.

Race against time In a bad year, huge waves crashed against her house, giving her less than an hour to uproot her home and scramble to safety. Racing against time, she gathered her terrified children together and hastily made a raft from a banana tree.

At any moment, it could have tipped and plunged them into the swirling waters, but it was their only hope. She put her youngest daughter in a cooking pot and clung to it as it floated in the current.

‘My children were so scared. My sister was holding them very tightly and we were panicking because my neighbour’s child was washed away.’

The floods are coming Morsheda and her children live a precarious life. They know that the floods will come again, and soon. But we can lift our neighbours like Morsheda to safety.

Just £250 is enough for a Christian Aid Home Safety Package. It could flood-proof Morsheda’s home, raising it eight foot on an earth plinth, so that she has a safe place to

Christian Aid envelopes will be available in Pear Tree Church during

Christian Aid Week. Please remember to pick one up.

If you are a taxpayer, you can also Gift Aid your contribution by completing the simple

declaration on the envelope, thus adding 20p to the value of every pound collected.

You are invited to join us for our

CHRISTIAN AID LUNCH 12.00 p.m.

Sunday 15th May

in Woolston Community Centre,

Weston Grove Road, Woolston

£5 pp, £2.50 children

All proceeds to Christian Aid

Contact Elizabeth Cleverley (80440242)

to book your place

~ 15 ~


Thy Kingdom Come - a week of prayer is called for May

Churches across the country have been invited to spend the week before Pentecost, 8th to 15th May, in praying together.

Writing to all the Anglican church leaders in England, the Archbishops of Canterbury and York explain: ‘Throughout history any movement of the Holy

Spirit to draw increasing numbers of people to faith in Christ has always begun with prayer.

Christ’s love compels us to offer hope, joy and salvation to others, that the world may be transformed by God’s love. In prayer we are reminded that the “God of mission has a Church, not the Church of Mission has a God”. In prayer we are reminded that when we pray for new

and renewed life in others, so it must first be sparked and kindled in us.’

And so it is that the Archbishops, in partnership with 24-7 Prayer, HOPE, the World Prayer Centre, the Neighbourhood Prayer Network, the National Day of Prayer & Worship and

others, are inviting the Church of England to spend focused and dedicated time in prayer in the week running up to Pentecost Sunday, 8th -15th May, as part of a united effort to see

more of the Kingdom of God come in our day.

The focus for our prayer during this time will be for “all Christians to deepen their relationship with Jesus, so that we may have confidence to share our faith, that all may respond to the call

of Jesus Christ to follow Him.”

All serving clergy have been invited to be involved, together with their parish churches, Fresh Expressions of church, and chaplaincies.

The week of prayer will be different in every context. For some places it might be a focused single event, perhaps adapting or building on an existing group or meeting, or holding

something special. The hope is that in many places Christians across denominations and streams can pray together, as the unity of the whole Body of Christ is a powerful reality and

symbol to the world.

Beacon Events are to be held in five or six cathedrals (or neighbouring venues) over the Pentecost weekend, celebrating the gift of the Holy Spirit to the Church and praying for the renewal of the Spirit, and for Christians to deepen their relationship with Jesus and to have

the confidence to share their faith. The hope is to inspire worship and intercession for a generation to rise up with a fresh passion and confidence for the proclamation of the Gospel.

The locations for 'beacon events' are to be Canterbury, St. Paul's, York, Durham, Winchester, and Coventry (in the final stages of confirmation), with Canterbury, York, Durham and St

Paul’s being intentionally aimed at the younger generation.

Who do you tell your problems to?

One day a chaplain found a woman crying at the back of the hospital chapel. He suggested they pray together about her problems, but she refused. “It won’t do any good,” she said hopelessly. “God won’t hear me.”

The chaplain thought a moment. “Okay, then, let’s curse God together, shall we?”

The woman was shocked. “Certainly not,” she said. “He’ll punish me.”

The chaplain replied: “So you believe that God will hear you if you curse him, but not if you pray to him?”

The Bible is full of verses encouraging us to come to God in prayer. “Call upon me and I will answer you,” says the Lord (Jeremiah 33.3) . The key to having your prayers answered is NOT to go to God for a miracle now and then, but for a relationship all the time. Jesus said that if we come to him, and stick around, then his Father will hear us.

As for right now? “Come to me, all you who are heavy laden, and I will give you rest,” Jesus urged. That promise can be yours today. The Psalmist said: ‘I cried unto the Lord with my voice, and he heard me.’ (Psalm 3:4) He will hear you, too.

~ 16 ~


Jane Austen Tour with Coffee and Cake 2nd Apr 2016 10 am The tour will include a walk through the Cathedral’s historic Inner Close to the house on College Street where Jane and Cassandra stayed during their time in Winchester. Guided tours are available throughout the year to groups. Public tours will be taking place on the first Saturday of the month from February to November 2016. Tickets: £12.50, includes hot drink and cake.

Lunchtime Concert 5th Apr 2016 1 pm - 2 pm Lunchtime performance by Lucy Humphreys (trumpet). Admission is free - retiring collection

Children’s Easter Holiday Activities Tuesday and Thursday 5th - 7th Apr 2016 10.00 am -12 noon Join us in the Cathedral for creative workshops for children aged 7 – 11. Tickets £2 per child (includes a drink and a biscuit). No charge for accompanying adults. Booking essential on 01962 857 224.

Basingstoke Choral Society: Stabat Mater 16th Apr 2016 7.30 pm Basingstoke Choral Society with Croydon Philharmonic Choir and New London Sinfonia perform Dvorak's Stabat Mater. Soloists: Erica Eloff, Diana Moore, Alexander James Edwards, and Dingle Yandell. Conductor: David Gibson. Tickets: Front Nave: £25 and £20. Rear Nave: £15 and £10

Concert: Carmina Burana 21st Apr 2016 7 pm Godolphin School, Harrow School, Godolphin Prep and Leaden Hall School jointly perform: Highcock's 'When Music Sounds', Stravinsky's 'Firebird Suite' (1919 version), Orff's 'Carmina Burana' For tickets visit Winchester Cathedral Box Office or call 01962 857 275 (booking fees apply). Ticket Prices: £20, £15, £10. Under 18 accompanying parents free.

St George’s Day Prom Night 23rd Apr 2016 7.30 pm Hampshire County Youth Orchestra and Winchester Youth Orchestra perform a delightful programme of music for St George's Days in aid of the Mayor of Winchester Charities. Conductors: Carl Clausen and Sierra Schwartz Tickets: £17.50 and £10 plus 75p per ticket booking fee.

Bank Holiday Organ Recital 2nd May 2016 4 pm Recital by Geoffrey Morgan, Organist from Christchurch Priory. Tickets: £10

Cathedral Chamber Choir Concert 7th May 2016 7.30 pm Cathedral Chamber Choir and Southern Sinfonia perform works by J.S Bach. Ticket information to follow.

Winchester and County Music Festival 2016 14th May 2016 7.30 pm ‘Dream of Gerontius’ performed by Itchen Valley Choral Society, Compton and Shawford Festival Choir, Sarisbury Choral Society and Twyford Singers, and soloists Emily Bauer-Jones (Mezzo), Peter Auty (Tenor) and Jimmy Holliday (Bass). Tickets: £30, £22, £16 and £10 (half price for those in full time education)

Aled Jones Cathedral Tour 26th May 2016 7.30 pm Tickets: £35 (front and mid nave), £19.50 (rear nave). Seating is unreserved.

WW1 Tour and Cream Tea 27th May 2016 2 pm Join a Cathedral guide and be taken on a tour which will look back at World War 1, particularly 1916 and how it relates to Winchester Cathedral. Followed by cream tea in the Cathedral Refectory. Tickets: £12.50, includes cream tea. For tickets contact the Box Office [email protected] or call 01962 857 275

~ 17 ~


Mayfield Nurseries Spring Fayre

10.00 a.m. - 4.00 p.m. Saturday 30 April

Basket and bedding plants, herbs, vegetables, fruit trees, perennials and shrubs.

Hanging baskets, sundries and tools.

Live music, children’s activities, stalls, raffle, refreshments.

Mayfield Nurseries is a working plant nursery in the walled garden inside Mayfield Park; a registered charity, subsidiary of Solent Mind. Through sales of high quality plants, shrubs and

consumables, we provide a place for people with mental health problems and learning disabilities to develop skills and confidence to gain employment, volunteer, or make positive steps towards

improving their mental health.

Normal Opening: Mon – Fri 8.30 am – 4.00 pm, Saturdays April to June 10 am – 4 pm. You are always welcome to browse, buy or simply relax with a cuppa in the café.

Our staff and volunteers are happy to help with queries. Every penny from sales helps us to continue our work.

Mayfield Nurseries, Mayfield Park, Weston Lane, Weston, Southampton SO19 9HL

Tel: 023 8044 7743 www.mayfieldnurseries.org.uk Registered Charity No: 1128592

MERRYOAK COMPUTER CLUB

has spaces in all sessions when the next term starts on 11th April. Working under the title of "Don't get left behind" we offer help with understanding computer technology. So much depends on social media these days and a wider variety of devices available now. We operate 4 sessions each week -

Mondays and Thursdays 10 a.m. until 12.00 p.m.,

or 12.30 p.m. until 2.30 p.m. during term times.

We have the services of a qualified facilitator and are based at the Merryoak Community Centre in Acacia Road. A small charge is made to cover our running costs. If you would like more information please contact the Centre 023 80366013 during session times or Pat Presland 023 80446646 at other times.

A full range of care and support services

If you need some support to do your favourite things then we can help. Our support workers can help you with a wide range of activities, hobbies or

appointments. Just let us know what it is you’d like to do and we will do our best

to help. From just £15.79 per hour.

We can also help with cleaning, shopping and laundry - for just £12 per hour.

All our staff are fully trained and

DBS checked

To find out more call our team 023 8051 6034

www.scagroup.co.uk/care

PEAR TREE CHURCH - TALENTS TABLE TOP SALE 10.00 a.m. - 1.00 p.m. Saturday 30th April in Pear Tree Church Hall

Craft items for sale to boost Church Funds Refreshments available

For enquiries or to book a table call Sue Ives (023 80 436853)

~ 18 ~


NEWS FROM SOUTHAMPTON FLOWER CLUB who meet at 2.00 p.m. in Pear Tree Church Hall

on the third Thursday of every month

We began this year’s programme with a wonderful demonstration in February, where we

were relieved to have some lighting on the stage again; it made such a difference.

In April we have a demonstration entitled 'Tales from the Forest’ by Lynn Mackenzie and in May we will hold our open 'Ladies Day' which will include afternoon tea.

Visitors are welcome at both these events, which are held in the Church Hall starting at 2 p.m. There is a small charge payable at the door.

Hazel Roberts

Pear Tree Church

10.30 a.m. Saturday 23rd April in Pear Tree Church Hall

Help from 9.00 a.m. would be appreciated

Our January Jumble Sale raised £217 for Church Funds. Thank you to everyone for your support

St. Mark’s

and Pear Tree Church

invite you and your family

to a morning of fun,

friendship and MESS, with

craft, song and celebration

10.30 a.m. - 1.00 p.m.

FRIDAY 8TH APRIL

in Pear Tree Church Hall

Theme: What a Wonderful World

Light lunch provided - free

entry, but donations

appreciated

Please ring Anne Gerrard (80433820) to book

~ 19 ~


FORTHCOMING EVENTS WOOLSTON METHODIST

CHURCH Manor Road North

Games Evening 7.30 p.m. Friday 22nd April

Come along and choose a game to play

Plant Sale 10.00 a.m. - 12.30 p.m.

Saturday 14th May All day breakfasts available.

Concert with the Lockerley Silver Band

7.30 p.m. Friday 20th May Tickets £6

Call Helen (80446857) to book

6.00 - 7.30 p.m. Friday 6th May in Pear Tree Church Hall

A family fun night for parents and children up to 11-12 years with activities, games and disco music.

Light refreshments provided. FREE ENTRY

No unaccompanied children All welcome

FAMILY FUN NIGHT AND DISCO

THE FRIENDS OF PEAR TREE GREEN

... invite you to attend their Annual General Meeting being

held in the Pear Tree Church Hall on 1st April at 6.30 pm. The

adoption of an amended constitution and the election of

officers are agenda items. We shall also be discussing our

aims and objectives, including plans for Local Nature Reserve

status for Pear Tree Green. If you have any concerns or

opinions about the area please come and share them with us.

Our other meetings are on the first Tuesday of every month in the Pear Tree Inn at

7.30 pm and you are welcome to join us there.

If you need further information please contact Pat Presland - 023 80446646.

I would like to take this opportunity to say a huge thank you to those of you who joined

our Clean for the Queen Litter Pick on 5th March. We had a gratifying turnout which

resulted in filling a great many purple, and black sacks. Items such as oil cans, car

bonnets and wheels added to the lorry load. The next litter pick will be later in the

Summer after the nesting season, hopefully some of you will be able to join us again.

Meantime, let us hope that people will make use of the litter bins provided or take their

junk to more appropriate places for disposal!

Pat Presland - for Friends of Pear Tree Green

ACTING UP Adult Drama Classes

Want to improve your confidence? Your public speaking skills?

Want to learn about acting and drama?

Our adult drama classes are 1½ sessions each week for 40 weeks a year.

The classes are tailored to the interests of the group. We look at topics such as acting technique,

mask work, puppetry, devising theatre, screen acting, physical theatre and rehearse and perform a

wide range of scripts

7.30 - 9.00 p.m. Wednesdays in Pear Tree Church Hall, Bitterne

£6 per session - discount for block booking

For more information e-mail [email protected] or visit

~ 20 ~


Answers on page 23

The Bible version used in

our crossword is the NIV

SUDOKU Each row, column and box must contain

the numbers 1-9 - simple!

ACROSS 8 ‘He poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the — ’ (Isaiah 53:12) (13) 9 ‘When they had sung a hymn, they went — to the Mount of Olives (Matthew 26:30) (3) 10 Comes between Galatians and Philippians (9) 11 ‘Your heart will — and swell with joy’ (Isaiah 60:5) (5) 13 Muslim holy month (7) 16 Ten ears (anag.) (7) 19 Under (poetic abbrev.) (5) 22 How Abram described himself to God when he complained that his inheritance would pass to a servant (Genesis 15:2) (9) 24 ‘Go to the — , you sluggard’ (Proverbs 6:6) (3) 25 Debar from receiving Communion (13)

DOWN 1 My — for His Highest (Oswald Chambers’ best-known book) (6) 2 Festival of the resurrection (6) 3 ‘His sons will prepare for war and — a great army’ (Daniel 11:10) (8) 4 ‘Let not the — string his bow’ (Jeremiah 51:3) (6) 5 Name of the River Thames in and around Oxford (4) 6 ‘From then on Judas watched for an opportunity — — him over’ (Matthew 26:16) (2,4) 7 ‘But Christ is faithful — — — over God’s house’

(Hebrews 3:6) (2,1,3) 12 Long-handled implement used to till the soil (Isaiah 7:25) (3) 14 Order to which monks and nuns devote themselves (8) 15 Appropriate (Proverbs 15:23) (3) 16 I, uncle (anag.) (6) 17 ‘They gave him — — of broiled fish’ (Luke 24:42) (1,5) 18 ‘Weren’t there three men that we — — and threw

into the fire?’ (Daniel 3:24) (4,2) 20 Mountain where Noah’s ark came to rest (Genesis 8:4) (6) 21 ‘Don’t you know that friendship with the world is — towards God?’ (James 4:4) (6) 23 Prominent architectural feature of large cathedrals such as St Paul’s (4)

~ 21 ~


WO

RD

SE

AR

CH

Answers on page 23

~ 22 ~


Beware of these contagious diseases in church

Frontophobia: A morbid fear of the front seats in church. The sufferer is struck by an attack just inside the church door, and collapses in the nearest back seat.

Ear Frequency Destruction: Caused by sitting near the loudspeaker when the minister is singing full volume, off-key, etc., into the microphone.

Sermonic Throat: A dreaded choking caused by the start of the sermon. The sufferer unwraps a sweet very slowly and noisily, which seems to effect a complete cure.

Double Auricular Clearance: A condition due to the simultaneous opening of both ear ducts, which allows sound to enter one ear and leave the other without any absorption thereof. Condition is acute during Bible reading and sermon.

Accelerate Vocal Response: A condition which causes the sufferer to try to sing faster than the organ.

Retarded Vocal Response: A condition which causes the sufferer to try to sing slower than the organ.

The exits: A condition where the sufferer rushes for the exit before the minister gets there.

Church Meeting Paralysis: This can strike suddenly, when a post in the church needs filling. A good dose of enthusiasm works wonders with this sad affliction.

A clergyman consulted his doctor about his wife’s snoring. ‘It has to STOP,’ he insisted.

The doctor was intrigued: ‘Does it really bother you that much?’ ‘Well, it’s not just me,’ explained the minister. ‘She is bothering

the whole congregation.’

Two television aerials met one day and fell madly in love with each other. Eventually they decided to get married and booked the local Church. Apparently the service was not up to much but the reception was excellent!

Comment from a parishioner: ‘Our vicar’s sermons always have a happy ending. The moment they’ve ended, everyone feels happy.’

Seen in a parish magazine: “We shall be meeting on Wednesday when the subject will be ‘Heaven - how do we

get there?’ Transport by bus is available at 6.45 pm opposite the King’s Arms.

A husband and wife go to a counsellor after 15 years of marriage. The counsellor asks them what

the problem is and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on.

Finally, the counsellor gets up, goes around the desk, embraces the woman and kisses her

passionately. The woman shuts up and sits quietly in a daze. The counsellor turns to the husband and says "That is what your wife needs at least three

times a week. Can you do that?" The husband thinks for a moment and replies,

"Well, I can get her here Monday and Wednesday.....but Friday I play golf."

I have so many problems that if a new one comes along today, it will be at least two weeks before I

can worry about it.

Lost in translation

Are you travelling this month? Keep an eye out for those delightful translations into English that didn’t quite make it…

Danish airline: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

Heathrow: No electric people carrying vehicles past this point.

Japanese taxi: Safety first: please put on your seatbelt. Prepare for accident.

Kenyan maternity ward: No children allowed.

Beijing shop: Haircuts half price today. Only one per customer.

Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.

~ 23 ~


PUZZLE SOLUTIONS - see page 20/21

LOOKING AHEAD ....

to the celebrations for the Queen’s 90th Birthday in June

The winner of a church school competition to design a logo for the C of E’s celebrations in honour of Her Majesty the Queen’s 90th birthday has been announced. The logo, designed by Lucas Salinger, aged 10, from Potten End C of E Primary School in Hertfordshire, was picked from over 1000 entries.

Lucas, whose village school is near Berkhamsted said: ‘I feel amazed that my design was chosen. I feel lost for words!’

Head teacher Andrew Morris said: ‘I am extremely proud that a member of my school has won the competition, out of so many entries.’

Official celebrations will take place in London between the 10th – 12th June, including a thanksgiving service at St Paul’s Cathedral, a Birthday Parade on Horse Guards Parade and a street party in The Mall. It is envisaged that church events will be integrated into local community celebrations that take place that weekend.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Here, in Pear Tree, we have set aside Saturday 11th June for our own Celebration Day

when we will be holding a

90p Tea Party for the Queen

2.00 - 4.00 p.m. on Pear Tree Green

a ticket-only cream tea with games for all ages, music, bouncy castle, etc.

Further details will follow next month

Please put this date in your diary

~ 24 ~


Woolston Lodge Surgery Now taking on new patients. Why not register today?

Purpose built Doctors Surgery with Onsite Pharmacy and Car Park

Online Services - Book, cancel and amend appointments, request repeat medication, and change contact details 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

24 Hour Automated Telephone Appointment System - Book, cancel and amend appointments 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Walk-In Surgery - We operate a walk-in surgery between 8.30 am and 10.30 am five days a week, where patients with a need to be seen on the day can check in and wait to be seen.

Extended Hours - We offer appointments for working patients between 7 am and 8 am three mornings a week, Monday evenings 6.30 pm - 8 pm and one Saturday morning per month.

Open Lunch Times

Woolston Lodge Surgery, 66 Portsmouth Road, Woolston, Tel: 023 8044 6733 www.woolstonlodgesurgery.co.uk

The Icing on the Cake Live life to the full ....... Always lick the bowl!!

Patissier - Valerie Adair

Specialising in personalised cakes and wedding cakes made to order

Telephone: 07879 562601 Email:

[email protected] Website:

www.theicingonthecakesouthampton.com facebook.com/theicingonthecakesouthampton

HolisticHealthcare SOU THA MP TON Reflexology Indian Head Massage

Hopi Ear Candle Reiki Healing

Paula Jacobs

Holistic Therapist

T: 023 8042 0603

E: [email protected]

www.holistichealthcaresouthamptonco.uk

18 Peartree Road, Southampton SO19 7GU

Rosemary’s

Silk Flowers

Artificial Floral Displays

– individually designed

Prices range from £10.00 to £100.00

Phone Rosemary

on 023 8034 6267

for further information

~ 25 ~


HANDYMAN

Call Mike on 02380438564 or 07971765061

For all those small jobs no-one else wants - garden tidy, grass cutting, hedge cutting,

household maintenance, bathroom tile tidy,

new silicone

No job too small - for friendly service and a free quote, give me a call

Barry Rogers

Make & Mend

Same Day and Next Day Service

Specialist in Repairs and Alterations

02380 446797 43A Bridge Road

Woolston, Southampton

Mark & Janet Vaughan

FOOT HEALTH PROFESSIONALS M.C.F.H.P. M.A.F.H.P.

FOOT HEALTHCARE for Ladies and Gentlemen

ALL ASPECTS OF FOOT CARE

ALL TREATMENTS - £22.00 AT OUR WEST END CLINIC OR IN YOUR OWN HOME - £24.00

DISCOUNTS AVAILABLE FOR 2 OR MORE PEOPLE

Nail Trim/File Callus/Hard Skin Reduction Corn Removal Ingrown Nail Care

Diabetic Foot Care Fungal Infections All treatments include

a Foot Massage

Call today: 023 8046 6226/078 9083 0148 www.janetvaughan.co.uk

~ 26 ~


JONATHAN TERRY Est 1998

Independent Funeral Directors and Memorial Consultants

Providing Professional and Personal Funeral Services to Pear Tree, Sholing, Bitterne, Woolston and all surrounding areas.

Jonathan Terry has worked within this local area since June 1985 and has operated his own business since 1998 together with his dedicated team. We continue to maintain a tradition

of local knowledge in funeral services and commitment to our community.

We invite you to visit our website www.jonathanterry.co.uk to view our full company profile.

Golden Charter Pre-Paid Funeral Plans Memorials for all types of graves

Bitterne Office: 101 Pear Tree Avenue, Bitterne

Southampton SO19 7JJ Tel. 023 80434444

Southampton Office: 3 College Place, London Road

Southampton SO15 2FB Tel. 023 80234533

Carers in Southampton is a service in the city which provides support for anyone who helps look after a family member or friend who needs support. If you are providing support you may help with practical household tasks,

making and attending appointments, personal care, provide emotional support or help with sorting paperwork; any one of these things makes you a carer who is entitled to access our help.

Carers in Southampton offers advice, guidance and information as well as learning and social opportunities to help empower the ‘Silent Army’ of carers in the city. Specialist advice is available for those caring for someone with learning disabilities, physical disabilities, sensory impairment, mental health conditions, substance misuse, complex health issues or who is an older adult. We are also able to give support in a number of different languages including Polish, Hindi and Punjabi, Dari, Farsi. Pushto. We also have a Resources Room where carers can drop-in to carry out research and get information about other relevant organisations in the city.

If you are a carer, and live within Southampton city limits, Carers in Southampton is here to help you!

Contact us: Tel: 02380 582387 Email: [email protected] Or visit: www.carersinsouthampton.co.uk Find us on Facebook by searching ‘Carers in Southampton’ Follow us on Twitter @CarersinSoton

For an appointment please call: Rosemarie Parker Therapist Belever Sholing Road Pear Tree Southampton Telephone 023 8044 7307

Rosemarie’s Treatments include: Reflexology Facials Indian Head Massage Back/Neck and Shoulders Massage General Foot Care

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SERVICES

1st Sunday in the month: 10.00 a.m. Parish Communion

2nd Sunday in the month: 10.00 a.m. Parish Communion

3rd Sunday in the month: 10.00 a.m. Worship Together (alternating between Pear Tree and Woolston) + Churches Together in Itchen Services at various venues and times (see magazine)

4th Sunday in the month: 10.00 a.m. Parish Worship (non-Communion)

5th Sunday in the month: 10.00 a.m. Parish Communion

FOR ENQUIRIES ABOUT BAPTISMS IN PEAR TREE CHURCH please contact Pam West (80448256) or e-mail [email protected].

FOR ENQUIRIES ABOUT WEDDINGS AND PUBLICATION OF BANNS OF MARRIAGE AT ST. MARK’S CHURCH AND PEAR TREE CHURCH

please contact Pat Hawkins (80438103) or e-mail [email protected].

PLEASE NOTE THAT MONDAY IS THE VICAR’S DAY OFF

PEAR TREE PARISH

PRIEST-IN-CHARGE: REVEREND MILES NEWTON, St. Mark’s Vicarage, 117 Swift Road, Woolston, Southampton SO19 9ER (Tel. 80441124)

LAY MINISTERS: Mrs Carolyn Jennings, 36 Merridale Road, Bitterne (Tel. 80422708) Mr Maurice Keys, 27 Archery Grove, Woolston (Tel. 80441699)

CHURCHWARDEN: Mrs Pat Hawkins, Cherry Top, Cecil Road, Woolston (Tel. 80438103)

PCC TREASURER: Mr Peter Spencer-Fleet, 44 Denzil Avenue, Netley Abbey (Tel. 80560055)

PCC SECRETARY: Mrs Doris Pratt, 64 Gainsford Road, Bitterne (Tel. 80435602)

MUSIC GROUP: Mrs Vanessa Wilkinson, Tree Tops, 9 Chine Avenue, Bitterne (Tel. 80441442)

YOUNG PEOPLE: Mrs Pat Hawkins, Cherry Top, Cecil Road, Woolston (Tel. 80438103)

PCC SAFEGUARDING OFFICER: Mrs Vanessa Wilkinson, Tree Tops, 9 Chine Avenue, Bitterne (Tel. 80441442)

PEAR TREE PRODUCTIONS: Mr Simon Cousens, 10 Merridale Road, Bitterne (Tel. 07826376218)

HALL BOOKINGS: Mrs Sue Ives, 15A Redmoor Close, Bitterne (Tel. 80436853)

PARISH MAGAZINE: Mrs Doris Pratt, 64 Gainsford Road, Bitterne (Tel. 80435602)

CHURCH HALL ACTIVITIES

CRAFTY COFFEE MORNINGS: Mrs Googie Diaper (Tel. 80490148) Meets 1st & 3rd Monday 10.00 a.m.-12.00 pm

KARATE CLUB: Mr Ian Knight (Tel. 07887 742546) Meets Monday 7-10.30 p.m.

PARENT & TODDLER GROUP: Mrs Jessie Williams (Tel. 07507502256) Meets Tuesday 9.45-11.30 a.m.

2ND PEAR TREE GUIDES: Mrs Cathy Brear (Tel. 07859437242) Meets Tuesday 7-9.00 pm

RAINBOWS: Miss Nicola Barnett (Tel. 80449633) Meets Tuesday 5.45-6.45 p.m.

“ACTING UP” DRAMA GROUP: Ms Rosanna Sloan (Tel. 07519 754829) Meets Wed 7.30-9.00 p.m. Term-time

SLIMMING WORLD: Ms Claire Brant (Tel. 02380560195 or 07917851640 ) Meets Wed 9.30 a.m.

BOXERCISE: Ms Alissia Knight (Tel. 07730413854) Meets Thursday 9.30 a.m. from 14th April

SO’TON FLOWER CLUB: Mrs Lyn Cox (Tel. 80685642) Meets 3rd Thursday 2.00-4.00 p.m.

SO’TON RETIRED TEACHERS: Mrs Pam Read (Tel. 80452104 Meets 3rd Friday 1.30-4.00 p.m.

Website: http://www.peartreechurch.org.uk

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Pear Tree Parish Magazine April/May 2016 Pear Tree Parish ... · and pink-tipped blossom decks the...

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