PBA Personal Bank Account PBA = Keep promises to yourself! Do small acts of kindness! Be gentle with yourself! Be honest! Renew yourself! (recharge!) Find&use your talents! how you feel about yourself: what you think, say & do (self- confidence, self-esteem). Break personal promises! Keep to yourself ! Be selfish! Be dishonest! Beat yourself up! Wear yourself out! Ignore your talents! RBA = The Relationship Bank Account = how you feel about the others and how the others feel about you The stuff that life is made of: relationships R.B.A = the bridge between you and society. Self Family & Friends Society + real world P.B.A. R.B.A. Characteristics of an R.B.A. 1.You have a lot of RBAs - you open an RBA with everyone you meet its inevitable. 2.You cannot close an RBA once its opened. Example: after 20 years, you may become family members 3.You have to keep them positive put deposits. Example: after 20 years you might need a positive relationship with the person Whats the R.B.A. all about? Finding your place in society: learning how to deal with others, learning how to talk to people, how to build relationships, how to cooperate with others, etc. R.B.A is different from the P.B.A. PBA measuring how you feel about yourself. Its about being INDEPENDENT. RBA it measures how you feel about others and how others feel about you. Its about being INTERDEPENDENT. 6 strategies for a good R.B.A 1.Keep your promises: trust 2.Acts of kindness: little things that count make a difference 3.Be loyal: danger of gossip 4.Listen: everyone needs to be listened to 5.Say youre sorry: liberating experience. 6.Set clear expectations: dont be vague LISTEN = person A + person B A: tell B your 1 thing you plan to do/achieve this year, one dream you want to make it happen B: contradict A and convince him/her to give it up. Support your position with arguments. Repeat experiment A: tell B your 1 thing you plan to do/achieve this year, one dream you want to make it happen B: encourage B to do it and not to give it up. Support your position with arguments. How do you feel? CLOSE OPEN 3 steps to forgiveness: it and say it (that youre wrong) 1.Admit it and say it (that youre wrong) patiently for their response (you cant control this) 2.Wait patiently for their response (you cant control this) it again. 3.Dont do it again. If you keep making the same mistakes over and over, youre not truly sorry, because you havent taken the time to learn how to avoid repeating your mistake.