Part 2

50 Tips on Excellent Communication for LifePART 2.Presented By:

Tim Ervin

Counseling for Solutions, LLC

1. Know the Elements of an Ideal MessageThere are 7 Cs you need to remember to be an effective communicator:

A. Be Clear: When you speak or write to people, what is the purpose in communicating with them? If you're not sure, then your audience won't be sure either.

Know the Elements of an Ideal MessageTry to minimize the number of ideas in each sentence. Be simple and make it easy for your reader to understand you. People shouldn't have to "read between the lines" or make assumptions on their own to understand what you're trying to say.

Know the Elements of an Ideal MessageB. Be Concise: Stick to the point and keep it brief. Your audience doesn't want to read six sentences when you could communicate your message in three. Eliminate filler words or sentences that you can delete. E.g. "definitely," "kind of“, "literally," "basically," or "I mean."

Know the Elements of an Ideal MessageC. Refer to Concrete Information: Directly or indirectly based on facts. You need to mention details (as appropriate) and build conclusions based on vivid facts. You also need to focus on one topic at a time, so your message is clear cut and solid.

Know the Elements of an Ideal MessageD. Use Correct language: When your communication is correct, your audience will pay attention to you. Do the technical terms you use fit your audience's level of education or knowledge? Have you checked your spelling or grammatical errors? Remember, spell checkers won't catch everything. Are all names and titles spelled correctly?

Know the Elements of an Ideal MessageE. Have a Coherent line of thought: When your communication is coherent, it's logical. All points are connected and relevant to the main topic and the tone and flow of the text is consistent.

Know the Elements of an Ideal MessageF. Have a Complete Message: Do the receivers have all the givens they need to be informed? Does your message include a "call to action", and/ or include all relevant information – contact names, dates, times, locations, and so on?

G. Be Courteous: As free as possible of the sender’s inferences, presuppositions, mind-reading, second guessing, references and metaphors.

2. Build Awareness Become conscious of what's happening around you: Now and over time Inside yourself (self awareness, dig down & know your real needs) Between you and people (empathy) Around us (environmental awareness)

1050 Tips on Excellent Communication for Life

Perceptions and Communications

The 1st step to better communication:

Develop the awareness that our perceptions can direct how and what we communicate.


Perception Filters

Perception is the process of gathering information through our senses, organizing and making sense of it.


Perception Influences

Previous experience and learning

Attitudes and Interests

Needs & Feelings

Current situation

All people do not "see" the same thing when looking at a visual image.

3. Make a Good First ImpressionFace the person your talking to with all your body.Keep a moderate distance between you and him/her.Be the first to shake hands or salute ( depending on the culture).Don’t wear something that would look odd.

Make a Good First ImpressionBe Confident.Never fidget, relax, smile and make eye contact.Have a sense of humor but don’t brag. Open interesting discussions and give the other person time to talk and be listened to.

4. Avoid Communicating When You are Stressed-out

Being Stressed out is a form of noise that blocks effective communication. These are some symptoms of being stressed out: fatigue, hyper-vigilance, memory impairment, altered brain chemistry, discouragement and/or depression, self-esteem problems.

5. Structuring Your Message to Accommodate different Personality TypesBefore you start conversing with anybody, try to have a plan on what’s the best form to approach him/her, sequencing what you will say/ write with:An Introduction based on your receiver’s personality (there are four personality types; understanding each type will come in the following slides)Body (with the required details)Conclusion (requesting feedback)

Driver (Chief)- Personality Types

Identifiers and Pros: Clearly state what s/he considers closureMove & speak quicklyAppear forceful and maintain eye contactUse clear and direct language

Driver- Personalities

Cons:

•Stubborn

•Appear as aggressive

•Could easily trigger conflict with others

Driver- Personalities

Stress Zones:

• Isolation – where they have no influence over others

•When they get involved in analytical details

•When they have to wait for something to happen

Approaching Driver- PersonalitiesBest way to approach drivers: Be formal - Think more talk lessBase your opinion on factsDon’t act from an emotional perspective nor say emotional commentsBe time sensitive

Analytical Personality TypesIdentifiers and Pros: Detail- oriented, focused and ask many questionsSystematic and OrganizedLogical and factual Reserved in body language

Analytical Personality TypesCons:

• Unsociable, may seem too serious or unfriendly

• Doubtful, secretive – more on the pessimistic side

• Resisting change

• Take a lot of time before making a decision

Analytical Personality Types

Stress Zones:

• When put in a situation that requires quick decisions

• When involved in a situation which requires high social interaction or when required to perform speeches

Approaching Analytical Personality TypesBest way to approach analytical people:Provide factual details about the problem/discussion.Prove to them that your solutions are realistic and long-lasting.Have patience be attentive.Recognize their need for confidentiality.

Amiable Personality TypesIdentifiers and Pros:Friendly, talkative and cooperativeConsider people and their opinion the most in taking decisionsNot focused on details

Amiable Personality TypesCons:

• They don’t pay attention to time and are sometimes unfocused

• Are affected with the opinions of others

• Could be easily absorbed into the moods of people around them

Amiable Personality TypesStress Zones:

• When involved in a confrontational or aggressive dialogue.

• When being under time pressure

• When the weather is too cold/hot or if in a crowded space.

Approaching Amiable People Express your feelings, make compliments and ask them about their feelings.Be clear and give advice.Help them in making decisions.Hear them out and avoid fast paced communication.

Expressive Personality TypesIdentifiers and Pros:Talkative, loud and expressive; using a lot of body languageFast and creativeInteractive, dynamic and sociable

Expressive Personality Types

Cons:

• Unfocused, not sensitive to time and subjective

• Moody

• Talk more than listen

Expressive Personality TypesStress Zones:

• Where they are “alone” or socially isolated

• When they get involved in detailed research

• When they face numbers, accounting - finance

Approaching Expressive PeopleShow interest in their ideas, hear them out and be patient.Try to highlight the communication topic continuously to maintain focus.Help in making them take decisions.Express your feelings.

Guess which personality type?

Margaret Thatcher Barbara Bush

Bob HopeArnold Schwarzenegger

Guess which personality type ?

Johnny Carson

Martina Navratilova

David Letterman

Elizabeth Taylor


Communication Styles

Passive communication involves the inability or unwillingness to express thoughts and feelings. Passive people will do something they don't want to do or make up an excuse rather than say how they feel.



Assertive behavior involves standing up for oneself. Assertive people will say what they think and stand up for their beliefs without hurting others



The aggressive style of communication involves overreaction, blaming and criticizing. Aggressive people try to get their way through bullying, intimidating or even physical violence. They do not or will not consider the rights of others.

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