Parenting in Blended Families

Grant CooperHSP 404

What is a “blended” Family?

• “Blended families” is a relatively new term in history, but it (or step families) has become part of every-day language in the last 50 years. In a sense, the blended family has become synonymous with a wicked stepparent or stepsibling of the ”dysfunctional family” in our culture. Let's not fool ourselves; our first exposures to blended families were poor examples. On one extreme, we had the evil fairy tale of Cinderella with a wicked stepmother and ugly stepsisters. On the other end of the spectrum, we were presented with the “everyone lived happily ever after” fictional family -- The Brady Bunch. But now, let's get real! Life Challenges (2002-2015).

Things to consider• Almost 2,100 blended families form in the United States every day, according to

The Bonded Family. A blended family, by definition, is a couple and their children from any previous relationships. The children may or may not always live with the couple, but will visit or be a part of their lives in some way. Another word for a blended family is a step family. Smart Stepfamilies states that over 29 million parents (13 percent) are also stepparents to other children, Blessing (2006-2015).

Challenges

• Caught between past family ties and the new commitments, the remarried couple is both highly vulnerable and highly significant to the step-family’s development. The couple’s bond is the glue (Visher & Visher, 1996) that holds the family together while it has time to develop. Furrow, J., & Palmer, G. (2007).

Disrespectsaying things like, “You’re not my father, I don’t have to listen to you!” Let me be clear: parents have to be careful, because once that kind of behavior gets entrenched, it’s very difficult to stop. By being rude, kids protect themselves—and they train adults what not to ask of them and what not to expect of them. Lehmen, (2015).

Positive things to consider

• Younger children tend to adapt and adjust better to a blended family than older children. An older child is more likely to be resentful of his newly-formed family or stepparent.

• The attitude of both parents plays a huge role in how the child will adjust to the blended family. Parents who demonstrate negativity or talk badly about the stepparent will make the transition more difficult for their children. When parents do this, children may feel they need to choose sides or keep loyalty to a biological parent.

• Many blended families report being happy and are able to make their unique situation work. Blessing.

Future as HSP in research• As the blended family continues to become more prevalent, additional blended

family statistics will become available. Since blended family numbers will continue to rise in the future as families divorce and remarry, it is important to study this family structure to learn the best ways to help those who are members of a blended family.

• We will need to develop new tools for families. Future is wide open for us to do research and develop new ways to utilize human compassion and interface traditional values with technology.

References

(2002-2015). Blended Families- Common Sense. Retrieved from URL http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/blendedfamilies.htm#sthash.s5z1aODw.dpuf Furrow, J., & Palmer, G. (2007). EEFT and Blended Families: Building Bonds From

the Inside Out. Journal Of Systemic Therapies, 26(4), 44-58. Lehman, James MSW. (2015) My Blended Family Won’t Blend Part 2 What to Do

What to do when step kids disrespect you. Retrieved from URL http://www.empoweringparents.com/My-Blended-Family-Wont-Blend-Help-PartII-What-to-Do-When-Your-Stepkids-Dont-Respect-You.php#Blessing, Michelle. (2006-2015) Blended Family Statistics. Retrieved from URL http://family.lovetoknow.com/co-parenting/blended-family-statistics