PARENT LIFE 201 BUILDING MINISTRY TEAMS

Why Teams? What’s the Parent Life Director's role if teams are so important? How do we build Healthy Teams? How do we Empower from the Start?

Guidelines for Recruiting Check list for On-boarding and Training

How to use these Documents Suggested Yearly Schedule Orientation Abiding / Prayer Walk Discovering and Disclosing Stories Inviting / Gospel Conversations

Contacting Building Times Appointments Small Groups Connecting Teens To Church

DEFINING HEALTHY TEAMS

TRAINING PROCESS

TRAINING MEETING AGENDAS & HANDOUTS

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Wait! Before you skip this section because you agree that teams are important, pause. Take a deep breath. We know that you know that teams are important. The problem is, building healthy teams can be so much harder than just getting the work done on our own, we don't make it a priority. Most leaders reading this became leaders because they love face to face ministry with teen parents. There's a chance, that as you read, you will find that we are asking you to stop doing what you love. Here's what we really want; people like you, who are experts at relationships with lost teens, to invite others to get super close to you, watch what you do, how you abide in the Father, how you listen so well, how you endure with patience and joy, how you invite teen moms and dads to reflect on the truths you share. And once you've shown them how to do what you do, release them to do what God has made them to do. Notice their strengths. Encourage them through their challenges. Celebrate how they lead with gifts different from your own. It will take time, probably more than you will like, but this is the way that Youth for Christ will reach every lost 11-19-year-old teen mom and dad. Let’s be honest, there may be times when “doing ministry on our own” is more natural than building teams. However, the only way Parent Life will effectively bring transformation to teen parents is through teams. Even with the most qualified and dynamic YFC staff, we will never create sustainable ministry modeled after Jesus without teams. We can be even more honest; recruiting teams is one of the hardest parts of ministry. Perhaps you’ve experienced disappointment, even failure in this area already. While it can be a frustrating task to recruit, train, and empower teams, this is the task to which we are called. Jesus started with a few fishermen and because He created that team, we follow Him today. 1 Corinthians 12:27 “Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.”

DEFINING HEALTHY TEAMS WHY TEAMS?

Ephesians 2:10 “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 4:11-12 “So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up.”

PAUSE HERE AND CONSIDER: • How do each of these passages impact the way you think about teams? • Consider your current Parent Life ministry teams. Make a quick list of the unique gifts and

characteristics that each person brings. • As you consider team, ask God where He is leading you in terms of team development. Listen

to His leading.

Note: Maybe you are not called a Parent Life Director. Maybe you have the title of Coordinator or no title at all! But, if you are providing leadership in ministry to teen parents, this pertains to you! Imagine a famous baseball team. They're out on the field warming up for play-offs. Do you see all positions? The pitcher and basemen are obvious, of course. But notice the outfield. In YFC chapters and affiliates with multiple ministry models, a Parent Life Director may play multiple roles. You face the challenge of balancing all of these: • Direct ministry with teens • Modeling the development of authentic

Christ-sharing relationships to your ministry team

• Raising financial support • Implementing Relational Ministry Actions

(RMAs)

• Recruiting and leading ministry teams • Mobilizing people to pray • Initiating and maintaining church

relationships • Collaborating with service providers and

agencies focused on teen parent needs

You are also expected to be a contributing member of a church, a good spouse, parent, fund-raiser, friend...it's a lot! Rather than carrying the weight (and potentially crumbling under it) of these responsibilities, Parent Life Directors BUILD HEALTHY TEAMS and together, these ministry teams function as missional communities; working together to embrace 11-19-year-old teen moms and dads. You are part of a local YFC staff team and together, your chapter or affiliate owns the local YFC mission. Unfortunately, it is too easy to focus on your own ministry and lose sight of the larger team on which you serve. The health of a chapter is directly tied to the health of its staff team. What if the banquet actually went over the budget? What if you got more items for the auction than you were asked to? What if you actually asked another staff person if you could help them on one of their assignments? When Parent Life Directors participate in healthy chapter/affiliate teams, they are equipped for excellent Parent Life Ministry Team creation.

YFC chapter and affiliate staff teams are the foundation on which all the ministry site teams are built.

WHAT’S THE PARENT LIFE DIRECTOR'S ROLE IF TEAMS ARE SO IMPORTANT?

If YFC chapter staff members are not in trusting, caring relationships, volunteer ministry leaders see that, and the entire ministry suffers. It takes an intentional effort to overcome our egos and personality differences, and let “our love for one another” be so compelling it draws others to Jesus.

PAUSE HERE AND CONSIDER: • What is the nature of your YFC Chapter’s Team? Does it model a team dynamic you want to

develop in a Parent Life Ministry team? • Parent Life Directors shepherd the ministry teams they create. When and where have you

experienced excellence in team dynamic? What characteristics do you want to emulate in Parent Life ministry teams?

• Pause and pray for your chapter/affiliate staff team. Ask God if there are specific actions HE wants you to take. Listen to His leading.

We suggest two answers to this question:

1. Understand the Dynamics of a Healthy Team 2. Understand Empowering

One of the most challenging books circulating is “The Five Dysfunctions of a Team,” by Patrick Lencioni. Using a fictitious company, Lencioni challenges teams to take a look at how they function. Following is a brief summary. Hopefully it encourages you to honestly assess your role in influencing your YFC Chapter toward healthy team. Work with your Executive Director to see if he/she would like to lead your team through the book together. Maybe you will take the next step to purchase the book and see if your staff team is up for the exercise of improving your workplace relationships. It won’t be the easiest task you’ve ever done, but it will be worth it! Lencioni's 5 Dysfunctions are listed below. We strongly suggest that you purchase (or borrow) the book to define what HEALTHY and FUNCTIONING teams look like! Dysfunction #1: Absence of Trust Dysfunction #2: Fear of Conflict Dysfunction #3: Lack of Commitment Dysfunction #4: Avoidance of Accountability Dysfunction #5: Inattention to Results Lencioni’s conclusion is a good conclusion for this section: “As much information as is contained

here, the reality remains that teamwork ultimately comes down to practicing a small set of principles over a long period of time.”

PAUSE HERE AND CONSIDER: • How would you describe the culture of your current YFC Chapter/Affiliate’s Team? • Do any of Lencioni’s “Dysfunctions” trigger a reaction in you? • What personal action might you take toward health in your chapter’s team? • As you consider your Parent Life ministry team, how can you build health? Who can help you? • Pause and pray specifically for God’s leading, wisdom and your willingness to obey. Listen to

His leading.

HOW DO WE BUILD HEALTHY TEAMS?

Parent Life Directors have this Priority Goal: Build relational teams of Christ-centered leaders who are committed to working as a team to form authentic, Christ-sharing relationships with lost teens.

PL 101 has a lot of tips for recruiting team members. As we recruit, Parent Life Directors communicate that we're not asking people to come help us do the work we are doing. Rather, we are recruiting people who we will help to do the work God calls THEM to do. See the shift? Empowering starts when we see members join ministry teams and anticipate that God is developing a mission inside that person. We are here to help him and her discover and apply their gifts with teen moms and dads. We need to set personal pride aside. This drastically affects overall ministry impact. Your capacity for healthy ministry will always be limited to the number of Christ-centered leaders ready to invest in teens. As you help Parent Life Ministry Team members embrace their call to ministry and invest in the mission of reaching teens, while also caring deeply for each other, you will see a vibrancy that impacts a whole community for Christ.

Your job is to maximize the potential of each Parent Life leader.

Contact training@yfc.net to learn more about Empowering Training and Cohorts.

PAUSE HERE AND CONSIDER: • How much leading am I doing compared to how much the Ministry Team is leading? • When we have adult leader meetings, are they more about me "getting help for PL tasks" or

are they about team members owning ministry and sharing gifts? • How might my current adult team members describe the culture of our teams? Do they think

their job is to "help the Director" or do they feel empowered to discover the work God wants them to do?

HOW DO I EMPOWER FROM THE START?

Here are some guidelines to consider as you recruit for ministry teams: • Invite healthy Christian adults to join your ministry team. • Include a vision for your team in your invitation. "We are creating a team, like Jesus's disciples,

who together will reach this unique population of lost teens..." • Take the full screening process very seriously, including paperwork, interview, reference and

background checks. • Require an application, background check, several references, and an interview all before allowing

someone to work directly with teens under your supervision. You can always allow guests to visit a site once or twice before the application process is complete.

• Consider an “on-boarding” system and stick to it. For example, “When we on-board ministry leaders, we always start with two site visits, then the application process..."

• Follow a standard outline for training volunteers. One is provided in this document. After completing a cycle of training, evaluate and assess needs that are specific to your ministry teams and add those extra trainings in your next cycle of training.

• Pursue new volunteers in the most personal way possible. Sample “scripts” are included in PL 101 to help you plan your invitational conversations.

• Involve current Parent Life leaders by inviting them to join you at face to face recruiting meetings and follow-up phone calls.

• See PL 101 for more ideas on where and how to recruit. Your Chapter/Affiliate Executive Director has a system for welcoming and training volunteers which may include most of the following. The list and resources here are meant to support your chapter’s existing volunteer training plan. While there are several tasks listed for the on-boarding process, only some of them MUST be completed before a volunteer actively enters relationships with kids. Background check, reference

TRAINING PROCESS

GUIDELINES FOR RECRUITING

checks, application, for example, should all be completed before a volunteer begins regularly attending ministry events. Understanding RMAs may take place once volunteer is engaged in ministry. Those tasks that must be completed before active ministry involvement are marked with ** Think in terms of a yearly calendar (see our suggested year). Plan at least one “recruiting event” quarterly. This allows you to begin the on-boarding process at any time. There are only a few items/tasks that must be completed before volunteers begin active ministry. As you recruit, you can inform new ministry team members of monthly training schedule and include them at any point of the cycle as long as they have completed the ** items.

** Items that are starred should be completed before volunteers enter on-going, face to face ministry with kids. All other tasks and trainings should be completed within the first year of volunteering.

MINISTRY LEADERS COMPLETE WITH ALL YFC VOLUNTEERS: • Read through and print necessary YFC USA HR provided documents (requires log in)

https://auth.yfcimpact.net/admin/downloads/hr • **Volunteer application, Agreement with Statement of Faith, 3 references should be collected and saved in

“Volunteer File”. • **Interview (See Human Resources Forms: https://auth.yfcimpact.net/admin/downloads/hr) • Reference Check • Read through and print necessary Risk Management Documents:

https://auth.yfcimpact.net/admin/downloads/riskmanagement • **Background Check • **YFC USA On Line Abuse Prevention Training (Armatus – see below) • YFC Orientation (YFC history, mission and local scope) • 3Story- This is a 3.5-hour training offered through Leader Development at YFC USA. Contact training@yfc.net

for more information.

ARMATUS TRAINING: • Login at www.praesidiuminc.com/landing/youth-for-christ/ and check completion under “Users” tab, then

“Current Course Status.” • If training has not been started or is incomplete, contact applicant. Remind them that the training needs to be

completed. (Note: Armatus will sometimes leave the training “incomplete.” If applicant says that they completed training, notify Armatus to change the applicant’s status.)

• Save Certificate in Volunteer File.

DRIVER STATUS: • If applicant has indicated on Application that they will be a driver, request copy of Insurance Declaration Page.

YFC IMPACT: • Login at yfcimpact.net/login (login should be available through your chapter/affiliate) • Create new entry on “People” page • Update “Background Checks & Drivers” on “Office” page. • Note: If we require a Driver’s License, it should be attached to application.

CHECK LIST FOR ON-BOARDING AND TRAINING

It's not unusual to hear a Parent Life Director ask some variety of, "How do I get volunteers to do all things I want them to do?" The heart of the question is beautiful, demonstrating a Director who understands empowering and equipping the saints for ministry. But the answer is big. So big! There is a lot of work involved in empowering ministry teams. It's slow work and it can feel methodical. If you've ever been a parent and asked, "How long until this baby sleeps through the night", you have also learned that even a baby who sleeps through the night still must learn to eat solid foods, crawl, and so on.

THINK ABOUT BUILDING MINISTRY TEAMS IN STAGES: • Take your time. YFC Ministry is about RELATIONSHIPS, starting with the ones we forge in ministry

teams! Jesus is in the business of stirring believers on to good works in Him, so take time to pray and take time to listen to Him lead you.

• Set realistic goals. For example, a first stage in Healthy Ministry Teams is following the suggested guidelines included here. At the end of this year of training meetings, your team should feel more relationally tight, like a missional community! It might be a good time to introduce a second stage of Healthy Ministry Teams in which responsibilities for a few members increase.

• Take advantage of training opportunities provided by YFC USA. You can email questions to training@yfc.net! For example, you might ask YFC USA to provide your ministry team with a "Predictive Index" assessment. Or you might ask the training department to offer your team a 3Story Training experience.

• Consider connecting with other Parent Life leaders who are also trying to empower ministry teams. Share ideas, ask questions and problem solve.

TRAINING MEETING AGENDAS & HANDOUTS HOW TO USE THESE DOCUMENTS

The rest of this section includes outlines for Ministry Team Meetings. We believe that the best way to help team members understand and practice excellent ministry is to invite them to experience it! In other words, we will "do with our ministry teams as we want them to do with their teen parent ministry". As your team interacts around the topics, they will grow as a missional community and they will be equipped to create healthy teen parent groups. • Each subject has a meeting agenda AND a meeting handout. Make sure to read through and print

what you need. • This is not an "all-inclusive" guide. We have included several meetings that are "basic" with the

understanding that they create a foundation for continued growth in your ministry teams. • The orientation meeting is something your chapter may already do. Skip if you have other ways of

accomplishing orientation.

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER Orientation Includes details to on-board team members. Handouts for this meeting are not included in this guide, but we have provided links to suggested documents.

OCTOBER Abiding / Prayer Walk Team members understand the importance of living inside God's story, intimately connected to the Vine.

NOVEMBER Discovering and Disclosing Stories / Holy Conversations Team members share their stories through the lens of God at work shaping them.

DECEMBER Inviting / Gospel Conversations Inviting team members to learn how to have natural, Gospel Conversations in everyday life.

JANUARY Contacting Teams members experience the ease of connecting with others through contacting.

FEBRUARY Building Times

Team members build deeper relationships with each other, equipping them to build relationships with others.

MARCH Appointments

Team members experience an appointment while learning how to implement an appointment.

APRIL Small Groups

Teams connect with one another to discuss a relevant topic and experience healthy small group dynamics.

MAY Connecting Teens To Church Teams understand the value of connecting teens to church. Note: this training will take preparation. Plan two months in advance.

JUNE/JULY: REST, no meeting Ministry continues! Give ministry team leaders break from training!

SUGGESTED YEARLY SCHEDULE

Purpose:

1. The best way to train is to “show” and “practice”. Telling is not the same as training. Orientation must combine the telling of information with opportunities for attendees to experience and practice

2. Equip in-coming PL volunteers with broad picture of Youth for Christ 3. Share mission and vision of Chapter/Affiliate 4. Introduce volunteers to culture of teen parents and relational ministry actions that help us build

authentic, Christ-sharing relationships. 5. Clarify and enact the on-boarding process. 6. Begin to create missional community and ministry team.

Timing: Orientation includes 90 minutes of meeting content. We suggest you plan for a 3-hour meeting in order to begin with a meal (breakfast) or conclude with a meal (lunch). Outcomes:

1. Volunteers become Ministry Team Members, who will leave with general understanding of the YFC mission, the culture of teen parents and the process of becoming part of a ministry team.

2. Ministry Team Members will be motivated to complete required actions (video training) and paperwork (background checks, application, references, etc.)

3. Ministry Team Members will feel like they are an important part of ministry; as if Parent Life cannot be successful without their individual God-given characters, skills and gifts.

MEETING AGENDA Supplies:

• Volunteer Application, Reference forms and any other paperwork listed below. • Blank paper and pens • Snacks

Connect: 20-25 minutes Details and Documents: 45 minutes Situational Training: 10 minutes Questions, Answers and Next Steps: 10 minutes Connect: 20-25 minutes Help attendees experience missional community by starting with relationship building. SAY: In groups of 3 or 4 at your tables, answer these questions. I’ll state the question, then allow approximately 5 minutes for you to answer in groups. Then I’ll ask the next question. Question 1: What is something that you know about yourself and everyone else knows it about you as well? (Give a brief personal example.) Wait 1 minute while people write down answer on a piece of paper and then 5 minutes to share in smaller group or table.

MINISTRY TEAM MEETING AGENDA TOPIC: ORIENTATION

Question 2: What is something you know about yourself, but other people don’t know it about you? (Give a brief personal example.) Wait 1 minute while people write down answer on a piece of paper and then 5 minutes to share in smaller groups of 3 or 4. Question 3: What is something that others know about you that you may not fully see in yourself? This is a little more personal, could feel a little risky. Here’s my example (Give a brief personal example and try to be more transparent.) Wait 1 minute while people write down answer on a piece of paper and then 5 minutes to share in smaller groups of 3 or 4. Question 4: Even more tricky, share something that you don’t know about yourself and others don’t know it either. For example, I don't know if I will be able to make rent this month......(Give a brief personal example.) Wait 1 minute while people write down answer on a piece of paper and then 5 minutes to share in smaller groups of 3 or 4. Draw attendees back together. Details and Documents: 45 minutes The following section of Orientation relies on your chapter or affiliate’s on-boarding pattern. This is not a detailed, step by step script. Rather, we suggest that you allow time in Orientation to communicate the following. We suggest that you use a variety of communicators (people) and mediums (video, live interview, written word, inter-active discussion). Many of these topics are covered in On Line Training through Learn Socially. Use those videos if you like. Remember that people in your audience may be very familiar with your local movement, so use them to help paint the big picture! This is a list of topics and tasks we suggest you complete. 15 minutes for the following: • YFC History • Chapter/Affiliate History • YFC Mission and 5 Essentials • National Ministry Models • A Special Look at Parent Life - Consider inviting a teen parent to talk about her experience in PL for at least 5

minutes to help new volunteers develop understanding for teen moms and dads.

15 minutes for the following: Important Websites with documents to help you in this section:

Human Resources Forms: https://auth.yfcimpact.net/admin/downloads/hr Risk Management Forms: https://auth.yfcimpact.net/admin/downloads/riskmanagement

• Life of a Leader (read through document, answer questions) • Process of becoming a Ministry Team Member:

o This orientation o Ministry site visit (we want you to come visit at least 2 Parent Life group meetings to get a feel for

the culture of our group)

o Application (refer to printed document available at the Human Resource Link above) o Interview (sample questions at the Human Resource Link above) o Reference check o Background check (details at the Risk Management Link above) o Training expectations (next steps and monthly meetings) o Safety standards: Driving, adult to student ratio, use of social media, mandatory reporting

(details at the Risk Management Link above)

10 minutes for Child Abuse/Neglect Prevention Policy: • Describe your chapter/Affiliate’s response to suspected abuse and/neglect. • Give clear “steps for response”. • Describe appropriate and inappropriate displays of affection. • Describe appropriate and inappropriate verbal interaction. • Explain that further training will become available in appropriate amounts in coming monthly trainings,

including crisis/emergency response, warning signs of self-harm and suicide.

5 minutes for Questions and Answers Situational Training: 10 minutes Have attendees stand and move to new areas of the room explaining that it’s time to apply what they’ve learned. We suggest you do one of the following options OR, create your own application activity in order to help attendees practice what they have learned. Option 1: Create a list based on your training so far of “Agree and Disagree statements”. Tell attendees that if they agree with the statement, they step to the center of room, if they disagree, stay where they stand. For example, “Agree or disagree, YFC acts like its own youth group for kids who just don’t like church.” Disagree! YFC works WITH the local church to raise up lifelong followers of Jesus. Option 2: Create several scenarios and hand them out around the room, asking small groups of people to work on their response based on what they have learned. Questions, Answers and Next Steps: 10 minutes Be prepared with a couple of “Frequently Asked Questions” that you can start by answering if no one asks anything. Ask your audience to go around their tables, sharing what the “next step” is for each of them. It might be wise for you to have someone at each table tracking responses!

The majority of this meeting will send individuals out to do a “prayer walk”. Before your meeting, pay attention to good areas where you might send people for this exercise. As you plan for this meeting, recruit a team member to help you with the “Application” part of the meeting—make sure to give him/her the resources needed to accomplish this task. Ask a team member to be responsible for the business and Next Steps Section of Training. Purpose: 1. Review 3Story training with ministry team. 2. Invite ministry team to practice an abiding exercise. Timing: 90 minutes Outcomes: 1. Ministry team members will experience a practical exercise that connects them to God’s story. 2. Ministry team members will identify how abiding impacts relationships with lost teens. MEETING AGENDA Supplies: Make sure you have printed copies of Prayer Walk for each team member. Have several Bibles handy. Connect: 30 minutes Discuss: 30 minutes Application/Situational Training: 20 minutes Next Steps: 10 minutes Connect: 30 minutes SAY: Let’s start our meeting with a Scripture reading. This will feel familiar to many of you, especially if you attended 3Story training recently. Let’s read John 15: 1-17 together. Take turns around the room, asking each person to read 1-2 verses. As we learned at 3Story training and read here again, it’s Jesus’ desire that we are intimately connected to Him. Our connection to Him, our abiding, transforms everything. So, for the next part of our time together, we are going to abide. I have a “Prayer Walk Guide”. In a few minutes, we’ll all head out and follow the cues on the guide. You don’t need anything but the guide. Discuss: 30 minutes As team members return, offer snacks and drinks and a comfortable meeting area to debrief. ASK: Talk about your abiding experience. How was that for you?

MINISTRY TEAM MEETING AGENDA TOPIC: ABIDING / PRAYER WALK

How is abiding, or remaining with Jesus, an easy practice for you or a challenge for you? In 3Story, we use the word abiding to describe how we stay connected with God’s story. What other practices work for you to stay connected to God’s story? How do those practices transform you? Why is this practice of abiding as a ministry team important? How might it impact our work? Do you think that someone who doesn’t know Jesus (yet) like one of our young moms or dads, might be able to understand and even practice a “beginners level” of abiding? Application: 20 minutes One of the challenges of helping teen parents understand the love of God is the busyness of everyday life. It almost feels like teens prefer distractions over opportunities to reflect. Let’s imagine that God wants teen parents to abide in Him. What activities might we create to “set the stage” for a teen parent and his/her child to practice abiding? Ask a team member to lead this part of the meeting, in which the group brain-storms ideas and a plan to enact an abiding experience for teen parents. You might suggest, after a brain storm period, that they create an abiding experience for teen parents. Include “What, Why, When, Where and How”. General Business and Next Steps: 10 minutes Ask a team member to lead this section, updating the team on events, news and actions you share.

MINISTRY TEAM MEETING HANDOUT: PRAYER WALK (ABIDING) Head outside and read as you go. Pause when you want and start again when you are ready. You are on a journey. Walk with expectancy. As you journey, reflect on what you see, hear, think. Expect to discover the wonderful, the challenging, the simple, the fantastic. Breathe deeply. Relax. Don’t rush; savor the moments with the Father. Confess and let go of what hinders your relationship with God. Shed images of yourself so that you can be real with God. Let go of what other people think you should be, their expectations of you. Prepare your inner self- the you of you- to meet with God. “ In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was God. The Word was God in the beginning. Through the Word all things were made; w ithout the Word nothing was made that has been made. In the Word was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness but the darkness has not understood it.” John 1:1-5 The world that was in darkness has seen a great light-heralded by a birth-star in the dark night sky over Bethlehem. Just as the wise men journeyed towards God by following the light, we too are in a journey towards God. We search after God; we travel towards God as pilgrims. And yet God is with us. As a guide and as a traveler. God hasn’t promised an easy ride but He has promised to sustain us. God serves as our host on this journey. He has much to offer and give us; all the riches of a relationship with the Creator of the Universe. As you walk, talk to God about how you are doing in continuing to receive Him and all He offers. Is He calling you to surrender that which is too heavy or not needed for the journey? Find a place to sit and be still. Sound engineers speak of two things- signal and noise. The signal is the meaningful part of a transmission. The noise is all the unwanted stuff that interferes with our ability to hear and understand the signal. Our lives are full of noise-so much information, so many messages, all competing for our attention. We find it hard to find the signal. Take some time to identify the noises that you regularly hear. Music, traffic, commercials, dogs barking, children playing… What are the noises on the inside? The song stuck in your head, thoughts that seem to be on a continual loop, nagging worries, hurt, anger, your to do list…… Identify them and place them to one side. Let God still your soul, turn off the noise, and give you peace. Then listen for His signal for a few moments. Be still. Quiet. Listen. “Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10 When you are ready, move on in your prayer walk and go to a new place.

Take some slow deep breaths and relax. Let go of tensions in your body. Feel the pressure and busyness slipping away. Look for a small rock around you. Hold the rock and imagine that all your concerns and worries are held in that stone. Name a few of your biggest concerns as you hold the rock. When you are ready surrender them to Jesus and throw the rock away. Watch your concerns and worries fall. Imagine them falling into God’s lap. Talk to God about what is stirring in you as you surrender these to Him. When you are ready, walk to a place that reminds you of home or stirs a memory of loved ones. Stop and reflect on the web of relationships with which you live. Who are the people with whom your life is connected? Give thanks for them. Lift one or two of them specifically before God. As you pray be reminded of the power of bringing someone before God. It really is the best way to love and serve others. We often want to rush in and fix their problems on our own rather than talking to Jesus about them. Let God fill you with a new sense of awe at the magnitude and mystery we enjoy in praying for others. When you are ready, stay where you are or walk and reflect now on God, the creator of the universe who invites us to co-create with Him. We share His story with others and He invites us to be part of new life. Consider someone in your life who does not yet know Jesus. Pray for them and for God to lead you as you join Him in pursuing them. As you return to the meeting, pray for the mission of YFC and the work of this team. Our responsibility to care for and empower 200,000 leaders is a God-sized task. Talk to God about how you are feeling, what has stirred you? What overwhelms you in the work? What are you awed by?

There is a document to print and review for this training as well as needed supplies. Check out the Parent Life website for other story discovery tools. http://www.yfc.net/resources/story-discovery As you continue to create missional community, remember that the Ministry Director does not LEAD EVERYTHING. Rather, he/she empowers other leaders to use their gifts. Think through your ministry team in order to invite and empower others to lead sections of this meeting. Purpose: Review material and concepts from 3Story Training, planting deeper into lives of team members. Enact a plan to discover stories of teen parents in the immediate future as well as long term. Timing: 90 minutes Outcomes: Ministry team members have a deeper understanding of their own stories. Ministry team members begin to see their stories through the lens of how God has been shaping them. Ministry team members will schedule building times and appointments to discover the stories of teen parents. MEETING AGENDA Supplies: • Paper • Pens • Holy Conversation Worksheet printed out Connect: 25 minutes Details and Documents: 45 minutes Situational Training: 10 minutes Questions, Answers and Next Steps: 10 minutes Connect: 25 minutes Say: Grab a sheet of paper, fold it in half and then fold in half again, making 4 squares. In the upper left square write a word that describes your story as a small child, between the ages of 1 and 7. In the upper right square, write a word that describes your middle and high school years. In the lower left, write a word that describes your late teens. In the lower right, write a word that describes your life right now. Going back to the upper left, write some names of people who were in your story at that stage. Do the same for the upper right square. In the lower left square, pause and consider how God used events and people to shape your heart. Write down something God did. What is He doing now? (lower right square)

MINISTRY TEAM MEETING AGENDA TOPIC: DISCOVERING AND DISCLOSING STORIES/HOLY CONVERSATIONS

Depending on the size of group, break into groups of 3 or stay as a whole group and share these parts of your stories. Allow each person a 3-minute window. Note, people don’t have to share every square, they can pick one or two highlights. Details and Documents: 45 minutes Say: Why was that important for us? How did the exercise feel for you? How much time have you spent understanding your own story through the lens of “God is shaping something in you through this”? Why might that be important? How can you help teen parents become aware of their own stories? Good questions and excellent listening skills set the stage for story discovery. We can help other people understand God at work in their lives as we help them discover and share their stories (like we just did with the paper exercise). So, what makes a good listener? (maybe we should also identify what makes a bad listener!) Allow groups to answer. Include important points like, “Open-ended questions” and “eye contact” if not yet mentioned. What are the roadblocks to listening well to teen parents? As we think of those very real roadblocks, talk about what has worked to overcome them in the past? Have you ever had a conversation with someone who, once they hear you begin to share, they immediately think of something in their own story and want to share it? Have YOU ever been that person? How might that behavior impact (for good OR bad) conversations with teen parents? When we share our stories through the lens of how God is present and shaping us, it helps us to focus on small, clear and RELEVANT points. Sometimes adding all the details gets in the way. It’s ok to state just one, simple word that describes a part of your story. Often, less is more. Situational Training: 10 minutes Using the paper/square exercise we did earlier, let’s pair up and discover a new level of our stories. Between the two of you, practice asking open-ended questions. Notice how you feel asking and answering questions. When 5 minutes have passed, I will tell you to switch and the other person will do the discovering! After 10 minutes, debrief, asking the group to share what they noticed and what’s important to remember when disclosing the stories of teens. Questions, Answers and Next Steps: 10 minutes Pass out “Holy Conversations” page. Allow 2 minutes for people to read through. Ask if there are questions. Encourage group members to engage in a “Holy Conversation”, calling or texting a few others ahead of time so they can be praying. Plan to report on experiences when team is together next!

MINISTRY TEAM MEETING HANDOUT: HOLY CONVERSATIONS A deep, abiding relationship with Jesus leads to transparent conversations with people who don’t yet know Him. Expect that as you practice abiding, the Holy Spirit will nudge you toward holy conversations with lost teen parents. Try these suggestions as the Holy Spirit leads you.

1. Choose a not-yet-following Christ friend with whom you would like to connect more intentionally; someone from your Wish List is ideal. We create Wish Lists during 3Story Training. If you would like more information on 3Story Training, contact training@yfc.net

2. Find four opportunities in the next six weeks to connect stories with that person. For example, meet

over coffee, lunch, or whatever enables your friend to feel comfortable. It may even be a planned activity (a round of golf, a football game, a shopping trip, a remodeling project.) At some point in your time together, you will seek to discover more of their story, share parts of your story and talk appropriately about Jesus. Do not try to convert your friend. Simply be real and create a transparent, authentic story-telling environment for yourself and your friend. Authenticity in storytelling, listening and noticing God is our goal. Be honest. Listen to the Holy Spirit as you enter into these holy conversations and see how God is at work. You’d be surprised at the ways He will invite you into the process when you are intentional about connecting with people.

3. Be intentional in your attempts to discover Their Story by . . . • Giving grace freely.

o Use the “30 second” rule. Listen, wait and hear the other person 30 seconds longer than is normal for you.

o Repeat the person’s name (naturally) in the course of conversations, as though it were a holy expression of God’s grace and love for them.

o Slow down your mind, practice being fully present with your friend.

• Becoming radically inclusive o Expand the capacity of your heart to love – do not allow yourself the indulgence of negatively

judging anything about your friend. o Keep your focus outward: toward God first and then toward your friend.

• Speaking only when the Spirit says speak. o Discover the sound of His voice by listening more than talking. o Discover common ground that you have with your friend through listening attentively. o Build rapport through authenticity – share (disclose) the real you. o Catch the Spirit’s vision of who and what your friend could become with Christ rather than what they

appear to be without Him. This is done through listening, waiting and expectant prayer. Share your experience with your ministry team.

Parent Life Ministry Leaders have conversations with teen parents that share parts of God’s story and offer a person a relationship with Him. This happens in context of an intentional relationship. Purpose: To equip Parent Life Ministry Leaders to have gospel conversations with teen parents, inviting them into a relationship with Jesus Christ, connecting their story to God’s story. Timing: 90 minutes total Outcomes:

1. Ministry Team members will understand the importance of the Gospel in their own life. 2. Ministry Team members will be equipped to have a Gospel Conversation with a teen parent.

MEETING AGENDA Supplies:

• Print the Gospel Conversations sheet for each team member Connect: 30 minutes Discuss: 30 minutes Situational Training: 15 min. Questions, Answers and Next Steps: 15 min. Connect: 30 minutes Set up time and place to meet with ministry leader/s. After catching up a few minutes, spend time sharing the answers to the following questions:

• What Good News do you have to share from the past week. Anything exciting happening? • We get to share the Gospel with teen parents regularly. But what about the Gospel makes it “Good

News” to you? • What are the essential elements of the Gospel? (These can be listed on paper/whiteboard)

Discuss: 30 minutes Say: “Sometimes it is important for us to “preach the Gospel” to ourselves so we can live in an abiding relationship with Him. Then, we cannot tell our story without telling His. When you have already invested the time into “discovering and disclosing” stories (see: Ministry Team Meeting titled “Discovering and Disclosing Stories), the time may come to INVITE your friend to connect with God’s Story, which is sharing the Good News. We can have a conversation that is Holy-Spirit guided and organic in nature. This becomes a Gospel Conversation.” It is important to remember that teen parents may have different levels of exposure to Christianity. Some may not even have a framework, or “bucket” with which to understand the Truth of the Gospel. If this seems to be the case, consider watching Strategic Relationships as a team. https://yfc.learnsocially.com/classes/1094/lessons/5691?locale=en

MINISTRY TEAM MEETING AGENDA TOPIC: INVITING/ GOSPEL CONVERSATIONS

Look back at the list of elements of the Gospel on the board (paper). Ask: • Looking at our list, is anything missing? Is there anything there that shouldn’t be? • Where in Scripture did each of these truths on our list come from? • When sharing the Good News with someone, where do we start?

Hand Out Gospel Conversations Sheet & discuss. Say: As it is our desire to invite a teen parent to connect with God’s Story, we need to make sure that we can easily communicate God’s story. Here is one way:

1. God loves us and created us for relationship with Him. Romans 5:8, Ephesians 1:4-5

2. We resist relationship with God. Romans 3:23

3. Jesus Christ lived, died and rose to restore our intended relationship with Him. I Peter 3:18

4. Our positive response to Jesus begins our relationship with God. John 1:12, Colossians 2:6-7

• Discuss Doorways and Intentional Questions • How have you shared the Gospel in the past? • Can you picture having a conversation with a teen parent that is like this?

Situational Training: 15 min. Pair up and practice sharing God’s Story and inviting someone to accept a relationship with Him. Allow 10 minutes then bring group back together. Share observations. Questions, Answers and Next Steps: 15 minutes

1. Was that easy for you? Difficult? 2. What questions do you have? 3. Who do you know that needs to hear God’s Story and have a chance to respond? When can you meet

with her/him in the next week?

MINISTRY TEAM MEETING HANDOUT: INVITING (GOSPEL CONVERSATIONS) Parent Life Ministry Leaders have conversations with teen parents that share parts of God’s story and offer a person a relationship with him. This happens in context of an intentional relationship. We need to know God’s Story to be able to invite a friend to connect with God’s story! 1. God loves us and created us for _____________________ with Him.

• Romans 5:8 But God demonstrated his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

• Ephesians 1:4-5 For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure.

2. We ______________ relationship with God.

• Romans 3:23 …for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

3. Jesus Christ lived, died and rose to __________________ our intended relationship with God.

• 1 Peter 3:18 For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit.

4. Our positive ________________ to Jesus Christ begins our relationship with God.

• John 1:12 Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become…

• Colossians 2:6-7 So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.

Doorways: What part of God’s Story was your doorway? What are some possible connection points, or “doorways” do you see in others? Asking intentional questions of love:

a. Can you see how this makes sense to me? b. Does any of God’s Story make sense to you? What doesn’t? c. Tell me what you think of God’s Story. d. How could God’s Story make a difference in your story? e. Is there anything keeping you from inviting God into your story?

What does it take to have a gospel conversation? It’s always Sharing God’s story It may be through your story It’s always because of their story.

Parent Life Ministry Teams go into the world of teen parents to initiate relationships. Purpose: To equip Parent Life Ministry Leaders to go into the world of young people to initiate relationships with teen parents. Timing: 90 minutes. It is best to begin with food or coffee and a few minutes of sharing and connecting. Try a new coffee spot where your training will take place. Outcomes: 1. Ministry Team members will understand the importance of contacting in Parent Life. 2. Ministry Team members will practice contacting peers, co-workers and teen parents. MEETING AGENDA Supplies:

• Print the Contacting Hand out for team members (included below) Connect: 10 minutes Situational Training: 30 minutes Discuss: 35 minutes Questions, Answers and Next Steps: 15 minutes Connect: 10 minutes Help your team experience what contacting can look like. Load your team into a car and head to a public place (park/mall). It works better if you do not explain the purpose of activity. Share about your weeks during the drive! Situational Training: 30 minutes Once at the location, give the following instructions: Say: You have 30 minutes to learn the names of 3 new people and something significant about them. You may not tell them that you are doing an “assignment” or activity. You may go with a partner. Meet back here in 30 minutes ready to share! Make sure you meet 3 people as well! Discuss: 30 minutes Once the group has gathered, find a comfortable place to sit. Ask the following questions:

• Who did you meet? Did you make any cool connections? (allow each one to share a name and something about the person that they met)

• Was this activity easy for you? Difficult? Why? • Why do you think we did this activity?

MINISTRY TEAM MEETING AGENDA TOPIC: CONTACTING

• How can what we did here today help us in reaching teen parents?

What we just did is called “Contacting” in YFC terms. It is going into the world of young people to initiate relationships. Contacting is just one of YFC's RMAs or Relational Ministry Actions. RMAs are simply things that we do to build relationships with lost teens. In order to meet teens and build relationships with them, we go where they are!

• Let’s think together about where we might “contact” or meet new teen parents? (Brainstorm places like alternative schools, crisis pregnancy centers, community programs, etc.)

• What might “contacting” look like in those locations? • What can we do this week to meet new teen parents?

Pass out Contacting Summary page Questions, Answers and Next Steps: 15 minutes Based on our experience today, what is one action you can take in the next month? What questions do you have? What resources might help you? Tips to Remember:

• Purpose is to meet new students and grow existing relationships • Remember NAMES!!!! • Don’t come on too strong – hopefully you will have more than one chance to connect • Use relationships you already have to connect you with new teen parents. • Keep printed materials on you to hand out when meeting someone new. • Remember your mission. Take confidence in knowing you are the Good News that they need. • Follow-up with any new contacts with a call, text, invite, etc.

“For the son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost.” Luke 19:10

MINISTRY TEAM MEETING HANDOUT: CONTACTING What is CONTACTING? Parent Life Ministry Teams gain access to teen parents in multiple locations in order to organically initiate conversations that will lead to relationships. Why is CONTACTING important to Parent Life? YFC ministry teams consistently pursue EVERY young person ages 11-19, who does not yet live in relationship with Jesus. Our intention is, and always will be, to reach deep into relationships with students as well as reach wide to draw more and more toward The Father through relationships with Parent Life ministry teams. What does CONTACTING look like in Parent Life?

1. Ministry teams enter the world of lost teens, where they congregate, continually going to new places in order to initiate new relationships.

2. Ministry teams naturally engage students in conversations that are relevant to their interest, culture, and world.

3. Ministry teams learn and remember the names of new teen parents. 4. Ministry team members cultivate relationships with “gatekeepers” in order to gain access to contacting

locations and deepen relationships. In Parent Life, “gatekeepers” are teachers and nursery care staff at schools, social workers and other service providers who seek to meet the needs of at risk teens.

5. Ministry teams gain referrals to teen parents through guidance counselors, social workers, labor and delivery nurses, YFC National Ministry models serving chapter (Example: Campus Life, City Life, DTQ, JJM, etc.…), schoolteachers, Pregnancy Resource Centers. *See PL101 Where to find Teen parents

6. Ministry teams maintain broad view of potential services through which they might contact teen parents. This list includes (but is not limited to) agencies and service providers meeting food and housing needs, Nurse-Family Partnership, Healthy Families, GED Assistance Providers, Job Core, local hospitals, Pregnancy Resource Centers, WIC, Weave, etc.

How do we start applying this RMA (Relational Ministry Action)? Gather your ministry team for a discussion on CONTACTING. Use the YFC Mission Statement as a platform for questions and discussion. YFC REACHES YOUNG PEOPLE EVERYWHERE, WORKING TOGETHER WITH THE LOCAL CHURCH AND OTHER LIKE-MINDED PARTNERS TO RAISE UP LIFELONG FOLLOWERS OF JESUS WHO LEAD BY THEIR GODLINESS IN LIFESTYLE, DEVOTION TO THE WORD OF GOD AND PRAYER, PASSION FOR SHARING THE LOVE OF CHRIST, AND COMMITMENT TO SOCIAL INVOLVEMENT. Ask: What does our mission state that we do? How do we accomplish that in Parent Life? How is this different or the same as what we are currently doing? What action can we take to align with the Relational Ministry Action of CONTACTING?

This training will set up team members to create several Building Time experiences. Purpose: To equip Parent Life ministry leaders to build relationships with teen parents and model Christ-like behavior through spending time in shared activities. Timing: 90 minutes Outcomes:

1. Ministry Team members will understand what a “Building Time” is and why it is important in Parent Life. 2. Ministry Team members will participate in planning several optional Building Times for their ministry

sites.

MEETING AGENDA Supplies:

• paper • pens • Building Time handout for each team member • whiteboard and pen

Connect: 30 minutes Discuss: 45 minutes Questions, Answers and Next Steps: 15 minutes Connect: 30 minutes Spend time with your team in a shared activity together! This can be grabbing coffee together, shopping, going for a walk, playing Frisbee. Enjoy about 30 minutes in activity, checking in with one another during that time. The point here is to HAVE a Building Time with your team without making it feel like a training. This way, you can refer to your time together as an example of an excellent building time that team members can follow with groups of teen parents. Discuss: 45 minutes

• Who did you meet over the past 2 weeks? Did you apply anything that we learned last time we were together?

• Why do you think we did (refer to whatever you did as a building time) tonight? • What did it accomplish, if anything? • Think of the kids at your ministry site. What could an activity like this accomplish with them?

We call this a Building Time: spending time in shared activities with young people in order to build relationships and model Christ-like behavior. We talked about Contacting, which is meeting teen parents where THEY are. We can invite them to Parent Life small groups or special activities or a cluster. Participating in a

MINISTRY TEAM MEETING AGENDA TOPIC: BUILDING TIMES

shared activity provides us with new opportunities to learn more about their stories. By playing together, having fun and intentionally being present, we build trust. The Holy Spirit uses that to make teens feel comfortable enough to share more. Building Times, along with Contacting, are Relational Ministry Actions (RMAs). They are tools for you to use while building authentic Christ-sharing relationships with lost teens (relationships that lead lost kids to Jesus). So, we played ______________(again, refer back to the building time activity you lead leaders through). What are some other activities that we can do to build relationships with teen parents? BRAINSTORM - List possibilities on board or have team member take notes. Let’s try it! Think of the teen parents at your ministry site. Who do you need to get to know better? Plan a building time that you can actually do over the next few weeks. When planning a Building Time, it is important to get all the details worked out! Answer: • Who • What • Where • Why • When • How – (How much?) (Transportation) Now, choose one of the activities that we listed. Use the paper provided and create a building time by answering the W’s. Now ask yourself, in order for this building time to happen by (date), what do I need to be doing? Next Steps: 15 minutes Any questions or thoughts? Before we go, let’s pray. The enemy seeks to keep lost people away from the Good News. Building times draw lost people toward the Good News. Let’s pray and ask God to lead us into building times where He will do His work. Before you go, tell us what you understand your next steps to be! Additional Resources: CL Learn Socially class on Building Times https://yfc.learnsocially.com/classes/256/lessons/1492?locale=en

MINISTRY TEAM MEETING HANDOUT: BUILDING TIMES What are BUILDING TIMES? BUILDING TIMES are intentional gatherings and shared activities that Parent Life Ministry Teams enter with teen parents in order to build relationships, grow existing ones and model Christ-like behavior. Why are BUILDING TIMES important to Parent Life? While teen parents often share their stories very quickly, it’s key that we intentionally “program” BUILDING TIMES. By doing so, ministry team members and teen parents adopt relational rhythm that may not come naturally in their culture, family or peer groups. Teen parents who go to school and/or work rarely have time to play or enjoy the relaxed atmosphere that comes from “planned free-time”. By creating regular BUILDING TIMES with teen moms and dads, Parent Life Ministry Teams create an expectation that teen parents crave; they want to “hang out” in community, laugh, be heard and encouraged. What do BUILDING TIMES look like in Parent Life?

1. BUILDING TIMES are relevant to the culture of teen parents. In other words, they will most often happen in kid-friendly locations, like parks, fast-food restaurants with play areas and churches who partner and have child care rooms and playgrounds.

2. BUILDING TIMES can be part of a Special Event, like a trip to the zoo or dinner together. However, BUILDING TIMES don’t “just happen”. Ministry teams enter BUILDING TIMES with the objective of building a specific relationship with a teen. We equip our teams to do this through excellent curriculum content and training, as well as on the spot support.

3. BUILDING TIMES are open and inviting to new teen parents—they are a “draw” that causes newcomers to crave time with Parent Life Ministry Teams.

4. BUILDING TIMES ensure that Ministry teams apply 3Story “Discover and Disclose” approach. 5. BUILDING TIMES depend on team members with expert listening skills.

How do we start applying this RMA (Relational Ministry Action)? Practice BUILDING TIMES with your ministry team. Before diving into the content of a meeting or training, spend at least 30 minutes in a shared activity. Go for a walk as a group and collect 1 or 2 items that remind you of something that happened during the week. Play Frisbee, share recipes, shoot a basketball and while you do, model to the ministry team how to intentionally discover and disclose the stories of team members (without “going in a circle to answer questions”.) Once your ministry has practiced a BUILDING TIME, talk as a team. How can we do this well with teen moms and dads? Why is it important? If you think it might help, consider watching some online 3Story Training focused on “Discover and Disclose”.

Parent Life ministry leaders meet one on one with teen parents to provide individual attention and meet a teen parent’s specific need. Purpose: To equip Parent Life ministry leaders to provide individual attention to teen parents to focus on specific needs. Appointments are relational and allow for deeper spiritual discussions. Timing: 90 minutes Outcomes: 1. Ministry team members will understand the importance of connecting with teen parents through appointments. 2. Ministry team members will experience an appointment. 3. Ministry team members will know steps to setting up and conducting appointments with teen parents. MEETING AGENDA Supplies:

• Print Appointments Hand out for each team member Connect: 45 minutes Discuss: 30 minutes Questions, Answers and Next Steps: 15 min. Connect: 45 minutes Note: In order for your team to experience what an appointment looks like, choose what works best for your team: 1. Model one on one appointments with ministry team members. Set up several during a week. Then, gather team together and debrief! 2. During a regular team meeting, head off to a coffee shop or place of choice with two or three ministry leaders and conduct a “small group appointment.” If the team is larger, consider enlisting someone who is willing to do an appointment! They can be from another ministry in YFC (Campus Life/City Life) or another Parent Life ministry leader who does appointments well! 3. During a monthly team meeting, discuss with ministry leaders what an appointment is and give guidelines. Send them off to have an “appointment” with each other. Choose a public place that is low cost, free of distractions and allows for a relaxed conversation. Conduct an appointment without telling ministry leaders in advance. Spend the time talking, using a few good questions to get things started. An appointment is set up to meet a specific need. Think in advance about how to “turn the corner” to get to the point of the appointment. For example, “Hey, I wanted to ask how you were feeling about the time you have been able to spend with……..” “You shared briefly about a hardship your family is experiencing, can you share with me more about that?”

MINISTRY TEAM MEETING AGENDA TOPIC: APPOINTMENTS

“We have been talking a lot about Jesus at Parent Life, what stops you from starting a relationship with Jesus today?” (for students) Discuss: 30 minutes Once the group has gathered back together, debrief the experience. Ask the following questions:

• Why do you think we have spent time meeting up this week? (model an appointment, get to know one another better, etc.)

• How can what we did here today help us in reaching teen parents? • What reasons could lead to wanting to have an intentional time like this with a teen parent?

What we just did is called an “appointment” in YFC terms. It is intentional time with a teen parent (or two) to provide individual attention to teen parents which focuses on their unique needs. This is another one of our Relational Ministry Actions (RMAs).

1. What types of things might need to be considered when meeting with a teen parent for an appointment?

2. Who in our Parent Life cluster needs this personal attention? What would you like to focus on with her/him?

Pass out and discuss PL RMAs Appointment Summary page together Questions, Answers and Next Steps: 15 minutes Based on our experience today, what is one action you can take in the next month? What questions do you have? What resources might help you?

MINISTRY TEAM MEETING HANDOUT: APPOINTMENTS What are APPOINTMENTS? Parent Life Ministry Teams intentionally include APPOINTMENTS with teen parents in the rhythm of ministry to provide individual attention to teen parents which focuses on their unique needs and personalities. These appointments tend to be one-on-one with team member and teen parent but may also happen in very small groups. Why are APPOINTMENTS important to Parent Life? Experience has taught us that life transformation happens in the context of intimate relationships where people feel safe, encouraged and willing to be challenged. We also know that teen parents are often guarded, not quick to trust or invite adults into their “inner lives”. For these reasons, we intentionally include APPOINTMEMTS into our ministry programs, allowing teen parents to build trust through BUILDING TIMES and then to go deeper and more transparent in an APPOINTMENT. These don’t happen on accident. We plan APPOINTMENTS, helping team members and teens get comfortable with one-on-one meetings. It’s a WIN when teen parents start to say, “When do I get an APPOINTMEMT”. What do APPOINTMENTS look like in Parent Life?

• Imagine meeting a friend for coffee to ask how a job interview went, or how classes are going or how potty training is. APPOINTMENTS with teen moms and dads are similar. The main difference being that ministry team members should not expect to share their own personal needs during these times. Rather, the focus is on the teen parent; drawing him or her to a deeper conversation.

• APPOINTMENTS should happen on a weekly or bi-weekly basis so teen parents get used to being

pursued and encouraged by a ministry leader. It’s often helpful to divide the group of teen parents up by ministry team member.

• Safety of young people is a non-negotiable priority for APPOINTMENTS. This means that all adults

participating in direct ministry with teens have completed required YFC Training and background checks.

• APPOINTMENTS happen in person in safe, public locations such as a coffee shop, fast food restaurants,

open area in a church, or community centers.

• APPOINTMENTS are relational and allow for deeper spiritual discussions and discipleship. The ministry team member asks excellent questions and invites the teen parents to share feelings, thoughts, and experiences.

• Conversations may be private but never “secret” and general content should be communicated to a

supervisor for support, oversight and guidance.

• Ministry team members maintain regular accountability and support through YFC Staff/Parent Life

Director. These team members are trained about mandatory reporting issues and bring any concerns to their supervisor to determine appropriate actions.

How do we start applying this RMA (Relational Ministry Action)? Parent Life Directors can start the practice of APPOINTMENTS by modeling them with ministry team members. Try setting up several appointments during a week. Allow yourself 60 minutes per appointment but plan your meeting for 30-45 minutes, allowing flexibility but elevating structure (we want team members to see APPOINTMENTS as simple-to-accomplish so they will be eager to participate). Once several APPOINTMENTS have taken place between PL Director and team members, gather team together to evaluate. Talk about what makes APPOINTMENTS important in Parent Life. Discuss potential roadblocks to APPOINTMENTS and solutions. As a ministry team, consider which teen parents to pursue first in APPOINTMENTS and create a schedule to ensure that your team can accomplish a minimum of bi-weekly APPOINTMENTS. ENCOURAGE! APPOINTMENTS tend to be challenging with teen parents. Babies get sick, transportation fails, and team members often have family conflicts that come up. Team members often feel overwhelmed by this community of at-risk teens. Parent Life Directors should provide on-going support and encouragement to the team by regular phone calls and email. Allow lots of room for trial and error. When possible, tell your donors (circle of influence) about your hearty ministry team and ask them to pray for your team with fervency.

Purpose: 1. Train ministry team members to lead excellent small groups with teen parents. 2. Invite ministry team members into their own excellent small group experience. Timing: 90 minutes Outcomes:

1. Ministry team members feel more connected to one another and display an increased desire to serve alongside one another.

2. Ministry team members lead effective Parent Life small groups (often called clusters). MEETING AGENDA Supplies: Small Group Hand Out for each member present Print copies of curriculum that are available through any of the following: • yfc.net/parentlife • yfc.net/citylife • yfc.net/jjm • yfc.net/campuslife Connect: 50 minutes Details and Documents: 10 minutes Application: 20 minutes Questions, Answers and Next Steps: 10 minutes Connect: 50 minutes Host this ministry team meeting at a home. If you always use a home for meetings, consider a different/unique host home so that this training stands out from others. Create an environment that you know your ministry team would appreciate. For example, if your team is made up of athletic men or women, consider meeting at an office near a basketball court and plan to include some activity during your small group. Another example may be a ministry team of people who like to BBQ, consider meeting at an outside porch and including a meal with some BBQ advice. The hope is that you will set an example of strategically thinking of your small group location and team members will begin to think creatively about the best locations for small groups that they will lead. So, depending on the members of your ministry team, use the first 30 minutes of your time together doing an activity that appeals to them, their interests, skills and desires. Bring in a guest speaker! Ask someone from YFC to come for 20 minutes and teach on something. Here are more ideas that might relate to your ministry team: • Saving money (making the most out of coupons) • Raising teens (understanding adolescent culture) • Overcoming Shyness (using conversation tools)

MINISTRY TEAM MEETING AGENDA TOPIC: SMALL GROUPS

• Eating Healthy (making smoothies in under 5 minutes) • Golfing (improving your swing) • Spiritual Growth (hearing God’s voice) • Staying Active (how to shoot baskets from different throw lines) • Taking Photos (how to use your cell phone to take a good shot) Details and Documents: 10 minutes Pass out Parent Life RMA Small Group page and read through with ministry team. Ask: What experiences have you had in small groups? How do you see small groups working within Parent Life? What obstacles should we anticipate as we think about small groups in Parent Life? What are we doing well and what are the signs of success that we should keep doing? Application: 20 minutes If your team is able, use a few minutes to have team members text teen parents they know asking this (these are samples, you can make your own template!) “Hey! I’m in a meeting right now making a list of topics that are important to teen parents. What topics do you think we should talk about at Parent Life?” Or… “Hey! I’m in a meeting right now and we are talking about small group topics for Parent Life, which of these do you think is most important?

A. Sticking to a budget, how to save money. B. Picking the right person to marry (or not marry!) C. Infant massage, how to help your baby relax. D. Is God real and if He is, why does He matter?

While your team waits for responses, go ahead and brainstorm a list of ideas. Pass out sets of curriculums that you have printed from the YFC website. Have team members mark content that would work well with your small groups. Then, on white board or butcher paper, assign content topics to specific blocks of time in the year. Assign team members to review the lessons, pay attention to necessary supplies and make adjustments if needed for teen parents. Review the notes included on RMA Handout and apply them as you plan! Questions, Next Steps: 10 minutes If team members have agreed to assignments, make sure directions are clear and leaders have resources they need for next steps. Before you go, consider re-visiting the way you spent your first 45 minutes—in a small group focused meeting. You may be able to wrap that conversation up as you wrap up assignments!

MINISTRY TEAM MEETING HANDOUT: SMALL GROUPS What are SMALL GROUPS? Parent Life Ministry Teams meet with several teens (and their children) for interactive discussion about relevant topics and connection to God’s truth. Why are SMALL GROUPS important to Parent Life? Small groups are the best way to structure Parent Life ministry for several reasons!

• SMALL GROUPS can be flexible and adjust to schedules. • SMALL GROUPS should be led by pairs of ministry team members (2 adults + 3-6 teen parents is

perfect!) • SMALL GROUPS provide an excellent setting for teen parents to build friendships with each other. • SMALL GROUPS often feel more welcoming to new teen parents than a large group of teens. • SMALL GROUPS can feel less intimidating than 1:1 meetings for teen parents who build trust slowly.

What do SMALL GROUPS look like in Parent Life? Pairs of ministry leaders who possess maturity and biblical background, who naturally and appropriately apply God’s truth to discussion topics lead Parent Life SMALL GROUPS. They execute Faithful Bible Teaching, a YFC Essential. Pairs of ministry leaders practice good facilitation and listening skills; helping students listen to each other and controlling group members who interrupt, dominate, or always have the "right answer." Pairs of ministry leaders are flexible and willing to set aside prepared plans for hot issues that arise. Leaders take advantage of teachable moments. Pairs of ministry leaders who lead SMALL GROUPS maintain confidentiality with and between students but share concerns with supervisors for advice and guidance. Pairs of ministry leaders are authentic and willing to appropriately share God's work in personal struggles without overwhelming students. How do we start applying this RMA (Relational Ministry Action)? Gather your Parent Life Ministry Team and print several Easy Meet Up Lessons (found at YFC.net in Parent Life Curriculum). Read through the lessons, practice the activities and organize 6 weeks of SMALL GROUPS in a row. Once you’ve executed several SMALL GROUPS, pause, evaluate and course-correct for the rest of your meet ups. Then make a list of topics you can use in your next SMALL GROUPS.

Purpose: Ministry team experiences being appreciated and welcomed into a local church Timing: 90 minutes Outcomes: Ministry team members grow in relationships with one another. Ministry team members discover the importance of teen parents being welcomed into church settings. Ministry team members will create a plan to help teen parents in their groups discover excellent church experiences. MEETING AGENDA Supplies: This meeting is unique. You will w ant to plan at least 2 months in advance.

• Two months prior to Ministry Team Meeting: Select a local church. Specifically, connect with a small group of people (like a church small group/men’s or women’s Bible study, or home-church) This could be a church that your chapter/affiliate already partners with OR, it could be a new church—perhaps the church of a team member, friend or work associate. Your goal is to find a group of people who will host your Parent Life Ministry Team for a meal. It doesn’t have to be fancy, but it DOES have to be welcoming, easy to locate and inviting to guests (like your ministry team!)

• One month prior to Ministry Team Meeting: Tell team about next meeting location, time and details. Ask for “RSVP’s” so the providing church can prepare.

• One week prior to Team Meeting: Remind and encourage team members to attend this special meal. (Make note of any dietary restrictions.)

• Print the Ministry Team Meeting Handout, “Connecting Kids to Church” for each team member.

Connect: 60 minutes Details and Documents: 20 minutes Questions, Answers and Next Steps: 10 minutes Connect: 60 minutes Arrive on site at church and enjoy a meal together prepared and served by hosts. During the meal, ask any of the following questions:

• Share a church experience that is a good memory. • Talk about the role church played or didn’t play in your family as you grew up. • What do you love most about your current church home? • What kinds of things might draw a teen parent to attend church?

MINISTRY TEAM MEETING AGENDA TOPIC: CONNECTING TEENS TO CHURCH

Details and Documents: 20 min

• Read through the handout. • Talk about ways your team can connect teens with church in the coming year (make sure someone takes

notes). • Talk about YFC’s focus on 11-19-year-old teen parents. How might connecting teens to church early on

in our relationships with them impact us as we “graduate” teen parents from Parent Life?

Questions, Answers and Next Steps: 10 minutes Before leaving, pray for teens and their children by name, asking God to direct plans. Ask God to protect your team, teens and their babies from the enemy who certainly does not want them to feel connected with a church for life.

MINISTRY TEAM MEETING HANDOUT: CONNECTING TEENS TO CHURCH Parent Life Ministry Teams meet with church leaders (Pastors and Lay people) to foster a collaborative Parent Life Ministry. Parent Life is hosted and led by church members. Why is CONNECTING TEEN PARENTS WITH CHURCH important to Parent Life?

• Teen parents enter Parent Life with family (or family on the way!). No one does family ministry as well as the local church when the local church is working well.

• By CONNECTING TEEN PARENTS WITH CHURCH from the beginning of their Parent Life experience, we help teens learn to trust a body of believers as well as participate in their larger communities.

• CONNECTING TEEN PARENTS WITH CHURCH, upon graduation from Parent Life, already connects teens to a fellowship that can last forever.

• By CONNECTING TEEN PARENTS WITH CHURCH, YFC helps the church understand and love the community.

What does CONNECTING TEEN PARENTS WITH CHURCH look like in Parent Life?

1. Parent Life Ministry teams help local churches with whom YFC collaborates understand the YFC Mission and in particular, the culture of teen parents.

2. Parent Life Ministry teams help church members welcome teen parents and create a safe environment for them.

3. Parent Life Ministry teams help the local churches feel “ownership” of Parent Life and empower them to creatively participate (For example, perhaps a small group wants to make Christmas baskets or a men’s group wants to teach car care).

4. Ministry teams consistently encourage teen parents to attend church with their families. When this is not possible, they seek to attend church with PL Team members.

5. Ministry Team models the value of church attendance and engagement in their own lives for young people to see and follow.

How do we start applying this RMA (Relational Ministry Action)? Initiate a conversation with your YFC Staff partners about healthy churches in your community where teen parents would feel safe attending and bringing their children. Then set up appointments with church leaders (and Children’s Pastors). LISTEN to their community vision and when appropriate, share your desire to CONNECT TEEN PARENTS to this church. Ask church leaders who you should contact next as you continue to pursue this vision. One of the most successful ways Parent Life Ministry Teams have connected teens to church is by adopting a practice of “dinner and church”. They have a meal together before mid-week church and then attend a service as a group (and kids get child care!)