oh gosh, the owlpocalypse“It is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness.”

- Unknown

I… I don’t know how this happened.

I’ve started an apocalypse.

I’m so sorry, guys.

- Thai

“So, we’re going to Académie Le Tour?” asked the Taxi driver.“That’s right!” He was clearly excited. A little bit sad, maybe, but excited. His family were there to

wave him goodbye, and he felt pretty well prepared. The summer had taken a strange, wintry turn – the weather had entered a ridiculous state of entropy recently, and he was not sure if he liked it.

Upon arriving to Académie Le Tour, he immediately found himself feeling a bit… well, older. More capable… Maybe? He

was just excited to be going to university!

Well hello there, lil guy.

“…Voices in my head is never a good sign, really, is it?”

Hey, on the plus side, you’ve got me on your head! You could have gotten a much worse deal.

“Considering my tendency towards pursuing knowledge, I’m going to be have to assume I’ve now been chosen as a

founder.”

Well, that was quick. Knowledge sims. What can ya do?

“Well, I can play piano… oh, and wri-”

Rhetorical question there, Fab.

“…Fabian.”

Fab Owl.

“Fabian Owl.”

Fab.

“Good gosh.”

Anyway, Fab, I’m your friendly controller, and I’ll be here to make sure you don’t starve to death.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, there.”

Seriously, no problem, Fab.

“I swear to plumbob, if you call me Fab again.”

I’m not going to stop.

“Geez.”

“Yep, this room’ll do.”

See, I even jacked you a computer and a desk. Gotta give credit where credit is due, here.

“Not on my life.”

Damn it.

…You’ve not even gone to class yet.

“Early start.”

Knowledge sims, man. Don’t understand them.

You look like you’ve settled into dorm life quickly.

“No, I’ve just gotten to a point where I ignore everyone and they ignore me. It’s much more pleasurable.”

Amazing.

“If only I could ignore you. I’m trying to study for Economics.”

Tch. You’ll get used to me.

“So… this seat taken?” Pursued the blonde. Fabian barely looked up from his book, and instead shook his head.

“Nah, go crazy. Just try not to talk too much. I’m focusing.”“You must be fun at parties!” She said with a laugh.

Quickest future spouse ever, man.

“So what’s your name?” She continued.“Fabian Owl.” He answered briefly.

“Oh, that’s a nice name. I’m Esperanza Hofstadt. Or just Espy. Both work!”

“Espy?” He said quietly.“Yeah, what about it?”

“Oh, it’s just a sweet name.”“Nickname.”

“Yeah, that. Or, sobriquet.”“Knowledge sim?”

“Of course.”“Hey, same here!”

“…really?”“Got an issue with that?” She said, reading her biology

book with a slight furrow.“Not at all, you just don’t look the type.”

“You’ve not even looked at me.” She laughed.“I have very good peripheral vision.”

“Of course.” She smiled. “By the way, your outfit is terrible.”

“I grew up in it. Not got the money to buy a better one.”“I know that feeling. Never been quite comfortable with the

midriff on display, especially with the colder weather.”“I’m not arguing it.” He smirked slightly. Esperanza held

her book with one hand and extended a punch to his upper arm, jogging him slightly, laughter rising from them

quite quickly.“You’re such a boy.”

“You’re a Biology major, I’d expect you’d be able to recognise that at least!”

“Oh, shut up and research.”

Aw, you guys were cute.

“Be quiet, I’m gaining skills. Oh, and I’ve decided my LTW now.”

Let me guess, something inane, like, become the Hand of Poseidon?

“Nope, Max All 7 Skills.”

I love you.

“…right.”

“So,” interrogated Luke Taylor, “with time, I totally think you and Hofstadt could be a thing.”

“Christ, Luke, we just met today. And she’s right over there!”

“…I don’t see the issue?”

“See, this is why the only time we socialise is when you force yourself into the chair across from me.”

“By the way, can you tutor me?”

“Not for all the simoleans in the world.”

“Fine, but let me do you a solid. Get up, and say hello. Heck, tell her that you wanna take her down to Londoste.”

“No chance.”“What’s wrong with Londoste?”

“I can’t afford new clothes, let alone a dinner trip to Londoste.”“Hey, I know a guy. He can get you a reservation for free. You just need to tutor him.”

“I am not tutoring you. You are literally a lost cause.”“Wow, nice networking there, Fab.”

“…do not call me Fab.”“Just go talk to her, man.”

“Fine.”

“So…” he started.“Luke really is persuasive, isn’t he?” Espy smiled.

“You could hear it all?”“And more. What was that about a trip to Londoste?”

“…give it a few years.”“Niiice.” She chuckled

“Maybe one day.” He returned.“Nah.” She retorted. “I wouldn’t want to go to Londoste with you looking like that anyway. How about a

new wardrobe, first?”“You really are terrible.” He pouted.

There was a moment of hesitation, and then she offered her hand. “So, whilst Londoste is out of the question, what do you say to a chat and then a return to studying?”

“See, now you’re speaking my language.”

Freshman year passed by in a flurry of studying and term paper writing, and Fabian soon found himself living the life of a Sophomore, having completed his exam with an A+ and a

spot on the Dean’s List – joined by Esperanza.

Come the advent of Sophomore year, Esperanza seemed afflicted with an odd sadness. Surprisingly, most everyone seemed to be. Maybe it was just a bad time, but Fabian decided to try and pick her up with a bit of flirting – something they’d been casually doing for a while, now.

“Hey, what’s up, Espy?” Fabian questioned.“…I’m really not sure. I’m just sad, I guess. Everyone seems to be. Why not you?”

“I’m not sure… but congratulations on getting on the Dean’s List! That’s really cool!” He smiled. She returned it hesitantly, then straightened up.

“Thanks, Fab.” She chuckled.“…I’m not even going to argue it.”

I knew it would grow on you.“Hey, shut up!” a harsh whisper escaping from his lips.

“…What was that?” Asked Esperanza, curious.“…Nothing, sorry about that.”

“Oh, okay. Anyway, I really need to get a shower. Thanks a lot, Fabian.” She smiled sweetly, and Fabian brushed her arm.

“Alright then. Have fun.” He said, somewhat mockingly.“Oh, I will.” She winked, and then disappeared, leaving Fabian feeling somewhat

flustered.

The Cafeteria Worker rolled her eyes and quickly left for the night, before Fabian found himself alone in the cafeteria.

“…I thought that other sims could hear you if you chose them too.” Fabian muttered.Yeah, I thought so too. I’m not exactly sure what’s going on. Well, actually, I have a

rather good idea.“Care to share?”Not on your life.

“So, basically, I’m stuck with you and I can’t tell anyone else?”Well, not at the risk of them thinking you were absolutely insane.

“Thanks for that.”I’m sorry, sort of out of my control. Well. Sort of? Maybe? Mostly? There are rules I have to abide

by, Fab.“Wow, even omniscient voices have rules. Amazing. You know what? I’m just going to jump on

this sofa until either it breaks, or I fall asleep.”Okay, but you have a final exam in a few hours. May want to stay up.

“…crap.”

See! I can be helpful!“Also annoying. I keep telling you, going to school is not a negative externality of life in a developed

country.”Hey, I’m not a Knowledge sim.

“…so you’re a sim…?”…not really. Well. Sort of. Be quiet.

Later on that night, during group research, Fabian quickly approached Esperanza with a question, later leading to both putting their book away to debate it more avidly.

It somehow lead to other things being told, perhaps things Fabian wasn’t too proud of.

“Espy?”“Yeah?” She replied, holding his hands softly.

“I have a confession.”“…that’s never a good sign.”

“No, don’t worry.”“Oh, okay. What’s up?”

“…I’ve never kissed anyone before.”“…Not even once?” She lifted a brow.

“Not even once.” Espy smiled in reply, then leaned in closer.“You know what? Let’s change that.” She grinned.

“Thanks. That was nice.” muttered Fabian.“No problem, Fab. Also, one more thing?”

“Hm?”“Loving the new outfit!” She smiled then pulled him into another kiss.

“Just waiting on you now, Espy.”“Tch, give it a while. I have to become playable first.”

“…What?”“…Well, you’re a legacy sim right?”

“Well, I guess so. A founder.”“Hey, Generation 1. Getting in there early!”

“Hahah, I knew it!” Shouted Luke from across the room, only to be met with glares from both parties. He quickly returned to his game of darts.

Fabian bought himself a ballet bar in pursuit of full body skill, and somehow found his room the central meeting room of a mascot and a random dormie.

“Now, not that I mind you using my computer – and by that I mean I do – but what the hell are you doing?” Fabian queried.

“…the communal computer, man.”“…okay, I understand. Feel free to continue. Also, get the hell out of here Nelson. Vo gerbits

helps no-one.”“School pride, man, school pride!”

“Great plumbob ballet is confusing.”

“No, really, dorm party in my room. Everyone’s invited.” Fabian sighed.“Thanks, bro. By the way, loving the get up.”

“Be quiet and go wait in the computer queue.”

And that smile, my friends, is the Knowledge sim method of telling someone to kindly skedaddle.

Later fetching himself a thinking cap, Fabian began avidly pursuing his LTW, hoping to max it before graduation. He was pretty certain he could.

The rest of his Sophomore year lead to mass amounts of progress with Esperanza relationship-wise. They took it pretty slowly at first, but it was no surprise to anyone

when they got a tad bit more… passionate.

Hey, don’t go riskying on me either, okay? We want some nice safe woohoo. Don’t be silly wrap your-

“Stop. Stop right there.” muttered Fabian.

Fine, I’ll just leave you guys be, then.

As time went on, the relationship became steadier, and Fabian, having gathered and scrounged enough money from cafeteria work and working as a barista, managed to put together the money for

a ring and the confidence to propose – thankfully for all involved, Esperanza accepted.

“Though, I could have done with a bigger diamond.” She joked.“Then you can pay for it yourself.” Fabian said mockingly.

“I love it.” She smiled widely. “Thanks, Fab.”“…Yeah.” He grinned (and, most likely, bared it.)

“I’m planning on getting an off-campus lot, too. I’ve been hoarding my grants.”“That’s great, Fab! I’m sorry I can’t help more.” She laughed.“Hey, you’re welcome to help any time you like!” He winked.

“I may just do that. Or, I could watch you scrounge and save. That’s always fun.” She spoke mischeviously.

“Tch, I expected as much.” He replied in the same manner.“No, but I will help. Promise!”

Fabian and Esperanza soon took to sharing a double bed with each other, one crawling over to the side by the wall whilst the other

backed up the rear. Soon, to Esperanza, Fabian’s room felt more homely than even her own.

“So, tell us everything about him.” “Oh, leave Espy be, Tina!” Spoke Amber, the only one who had managed to

make a tight skirt perfect for dancing with.“No, I have to know. For instance, just how b-”

“Hey, hey, stop right the heck there.” cringed Esperanza.“Sweet plumbob, Tina, anyone’d think you were desperate.” Laughed Amber.

“…Not at all.” Tina muttered.“Mmhmm.” Replied Esperanza.

“…Shut up.”

“Hey hey, congratulations on the machinations you’ve got going on with Hofstadt.” Spoke Fabian’s chess partner. “…though, I don’t know why she’s with you when you

have those pyjamas.”“…We sleep in our underwear most of the time.” hinted Fabian.

Max fell silent. “…Damn, dude. What’s your secret?”“…Good looks and intelligence. All of which you lack.” He winked.

“That’s harsh, man.” Max frowned.“Checkmate.”

“…oh, plumbob.”

“Hey kids! I’d like to welcome you both to my super duper secret hobby club for gaming! Most well protected MMO server in the world, you know…” spoke the ponytailed man.

“Quiet, skilling.” Was Fabian’s only reply.“…yeah man, what he said.” Though Max did take the offered card – both, actually, another

to give to Fabian later.

Later that day, an unfortunate accident that not only lead to the sprinklers jamming and not working, but also to a severe fire, afflicted the dormroom.

“What the hell’s happening?!” Exclaimed one dormie.“…I, I don’t really know. I just… couldn’t focus.” The cafeteria worker muttered… “Oh

god, a fire!”“What the hell’s happening?!” Repeated the dormie, after a moment’s hesitation.

Fabian quickly jumped in (being the only relatively competent one there).

“What a waste of thinking hat time…”

I’m glad you’ve got your priorities straight.

“Sometimes I wonder if I’m surrounded by idiots or what.” uttered Fabian as the fire powered on. “Has no one thought to call the fire department?”

“I swear I did!” Shouted Tina.“If you did, where are they?!” Replied Amber.

“Great plumbob, someone call the fire department!” Returned Tina. “…didn’t you already say that you di- oh plumbob!” exclaimed Fabian as the fire grew.

When the fire was finally put out, it was a mad rush for the showers, but Fabian quickly made his way there first, only to find the Thinking Cap finally

giving up.

“…dammit.”

Later that night, Fabian maxed the Creative skill (having already earlier maxed Logic and Cleaning for the sake of his major), and sold his first masterpiece. A simply stunning piece called “White Llama in

Grassy Field”. It obviously connected with someone on a deep and spiritual level.

In light of recent events, Fabian found himself moving out quicker than he initially planned – but he didn’t trust the dorm anymore. Esperanza would join

him after her mid-terms.

The house itself was a simple affair, but it suited their purposes just fine.

The house was soon filled with Esperanza and Max, Fabian’s best friend ever since the chess match. The three quickly became inseparable friends, and formed their own Greek house (after the house

had been slightly refurbished, of course).

Greek house life itself was pretty simple – the group just made do with the constant mascot and cheerleader raids, and did their best with what they had. Fabian still

pursued the LTW of maxing all 7 skills, so found himself skilling at every available opportunity.

Having maxed interest in Music and Dance, Fabian quickly pursued a full maxing of the Body skill. Before Junior year, he aimed to have maxed most of his skills.

Upon the maxing of his Charisma skill, he managed just that, and found himself… satisfied.

Permaplat, eh?“Yeah, I’m pretty proud. LTW complete… by the way…”

Yeah?“I have a new LTW!”

And what’s that?“…Be the Hand of Poseidon.”

I hate you. Also, no.“…why not?”You’ll see.

To make up for the severe lack of skilling he was now able to do, having maxed all 7, Fabian found himself working on an old restorable car. He couldn’t help but be attracted to the prospect

of building his own car – and anyway, he felt it’d be infinitely useful.

He was quickly joined by Max, who worked on the body.

“Are you planning on watching the game?”“…I would. If we could afford a TV and license.”

“Fair point.” Max laughed. “But we’ve got our finals coming up, maybe our grants will help out a bit. I’d love for a TV to watch the big Llamas vs Cows game. You know, the big leagues.”

“We should. Pretty much everyone is checking it out, aren’t they?”

“You could say that, man, but I’m more tempted to say exactly everyone. It’s predicted to be the most watched game in history – there’s been

loads of tension. Gang violence, betting, stock markets, everything shooting up around this.”“It’s strange how important the game’s really become, though, isn’t it? I mean, one’d think that it’d stay popular but not as popular as it

is… there’s been llama support memorabillia all over the Academy.”

“I don’t know… I guess everyone just feels that this is it. This is the big decider.”

“Yeah… we probably should get a TV for it.”“You betcha.”

“Anyway,” continued Max, “hate to love you and leave you, but I have my Biology finals, so I’m off.”

“Good luck, dude.” Fabian spoke, never looking up from the engine.

“…One quick polishing won’t hurt, though.” Max said.“Okay, but don’t miss your exam. If we want to watch the game, we sorta need the grant

money.” Fabian continued.“Pfft.” Max dismissed.

Once Max actually did head to his exam (ten minutes late, admittedly) Fabian began revving the engine in order to garner the effectiveness of his mechanics. Unsurprisingly, everything was in ship-shape, and as such he couldn’t help but let his thoughts drift to

Esperanza. But as they were both knowledge sims, he understood the dedication required to max skills – even if Esperanza wanted to be Captain Hero.

Fabian quickly finished up the body, then taken by the need to go to his own final exam, he left it to be painted later.

…an opportunity the newly madeover Esperanza quickly capitalised on.

“Max, watch out for him, okay? I’m just gonna paint the car for him.”“…are you sure about that?”

“So damn sure. He hates yellow. It’ll be brilliant.”“…hah, okay. I can respect that. I’ll get Owl watching, if you know what I mean.” He laughed

raucously at his own joke before pulling out some binoculars and getting on watch.

And as luck would have it, just as Esperanza finished…

“…Espy, what did you do?”“Painted the car yellow. I find it rather sunny and cheerful. Also, do you like the racing stripes?” She

smirked, a little glint in her eye.Fabian blinked, confused, before staring at her. “…one of these days.”

“Aw, honey, I love you too.”“I despise you.” Spoke Fabian.

“Now you can’t tell me it’s not brilliantly painted.” “…Okay, I’ll give you that.”

“There, see? All better. Also, prettier.”“Don’t push it!” Fabian laughed as the two pulled into each other

“Guys, get a damn room!” Max’s voice rang out from the house. “…geez.”

“Dumb couples. Tch.” Max muttered.

“So, Fab… how about we take her for a ride?”“…okay, fine. That, I can get behind.”

“Excellent.” Smiled Espy.

“Let’s do this.”

Come the end of the ride, Fabian was doggedly holding onto his chair and breathing heavily, eyes wide.

“Are you entirely sure you got your license!?”“Oh yeah, definitely.”

“Espy, that is not the driving of a licensed individual.”“…okay, fine. Just my provisional. Be quiet.”

“…wow.” Fabian said in exasperation.“Yeah, but it was fun. You can’t say that.” She winked.

“…I can think of something else slightly more entertaining.” Fabian flirted back.

“Ah, yes. Novel writing. The past time of choice for any sim looking to earn some TV money.”

Wow.

With the proceeds from the novel (“Uni Made Easy” by Fabian Owl with the blurb “Be a Knowledge sim”), and thanks to his maxed Creativity skill, the Annya Hoh Var Greek

House got a lovely upgrade.

(As a side note, I later reviewed the rules and found in an Apocalypse challenge, Greek houses aren’t allowed to be founded, but I figure as long as it’s disbanded before

Education is lifted, everything should be fine.)

“This is the best book I’ve read in a long time.”

It’s your own book. (Nice cover choice, there. *snicker*)

“Exactly! And the cover choice is perfectly suited to the book.”

I see.

“And then he went off to write his novel!”

“…with that cover?”

“…yeah. He’s still got the outfit.”

Oh.

“Oh, hi Professor Sabo – why are you here?”“Hello, Ms. Hofstadt. I’m actually here to speak to Mr. Guy, if you don’t mind.”

“…you mean Max?”“…is there another Max Guy in this house?”

“Uh… sorry, yeah. Let me get him.”

“I’m so glad you came, Prof. I just, uh, wanted to talk about my GPA…”“You mean your horrendous 1.0?”

“…yeah, that.”

“…do you think you could… change that a little?”“…Mr. Guy, this is all rather uncalled for.”

“Shh, just give me a second.”

“Gee, you’ve got so much tension here, Prof.”“…Oooh, yes, right there. Mr. Guy, you have magic fingers.”

“So I’ve been told…”

“Fab, stop what you’re doing and look up from that book right this instant.”“…Why?”

“Professor Sabo and Max are getting it on.”“…While I’m not quite a fan of that method of grade-boosting, we shouldn’t watch it.”

“I think they’re about to kiss!”“…what?!”

“…hey did you just drop your book?”

“…sweet baby plumbbob what did I just witness?”“…Let’s just…”

“…Professor Sabo was really bad at kissing.”“What, and you’re any better?” Fabian smirked.

“Hey!” Espy replied, with a swift punch to Fabian’s arm. “Better than you!”“Prove it, Espy.”

“[…did we just get turned on by Max flirting for a higher grade?]”

Oh, you so did. ACR, you so cray.

“Oh, Prof, your tweed smells so… refined.”“Why thank you, Mr. Guy. I do try to keep my wardrobe sophisticat- Oh plumbob I think my hip

just went.”

“I’m afraid I need to take my leave, Mr. Guy.” The Professor muttered as he limped off.“What about my grade?!”

“You’ve got your 4.0. Now please, keep this away from the Dean.”“You got it, Prof!”

You go, Max.

“…hm. I swear I heard someone say my name…”“Hey, Max! You done with Sabo yet?” Called Fabian.

“…oh, be quiet Fab.”“Pfft, you wish! Tell me everything.”

“Just want to say, congrats on the 4.0, Max!”

“Oh crap, the coach found me.”“Hah. Have fun Max.”

“I’ll just lay here and watch your pai-”“I don’t care if you have max body points or none, I won’t tolerate laziness! Get your plumbob off that couch, I want thirty jumping jacks before my wife dies, and have you seen her? It’s not going to take

long! Hop to it!”

“Nice spandex, Fab.” “Oh, shut up.”

And where was Esperanza during all this? Making plates and playing Sims.

It seems, however, the Coach must’ve done something, because later that night Max got to max (I crack myself up) fitness.

Though, it seems, Esperanza found her own fitness routine.

“10-1 I can balance on my finger before you can.” Max proposed.“Tch, you can try.”

Oh look, a timeskip.

“You know what I want? A Toga party. I want it so much, that if I had an aspiration system, it would be worth like, +5,000 aspiration and +1,000 influence.”

Who was I to say no?

Whilst Esperanza and Fab kept the party score up…

…Max tried his best to keep the party score up on his end of the deal too. All he managed was to ah… further solidify his 4.0.

Come the end of the party (which was a Roof Raiser, by the by), the resident neat sims of the house tried to get the house back into shape… by raking leaves. Who am I to question the will

of my sims?

“By the way, Max… I win. Where’s that 100 simoleans?”

Come the advent of finals, the members of Annya Hoh Var finally did get down to doing

their term papers, nicely polishing up all of their 4.0 GPAs.

Having maxed all his skills, and maxed his GPAs, Fabian turned to meditating until the exams. Both Esperanza and Max had decided they needed to complete just

one more skill – Esperanza to max her own skills, and Max to max (dear plumbob how many maxes and Max derivatives can Thai fit on one page?) his Body skill –

his passion for fitness refound. (Maxed, you could even say.)

Upon maxing her Creativity skill, Esperanza soon joined the meditation party.

And, as soon as Nelson the llama mascot let go of his foot, Max soon joined.

“Great, I come up here for the first time to prank people into oblivion and all I’m seeing is a bunch of ominously floating university students.

I’m moo-ving over to the dorms.”

Soon, they trickled out, eventually leaving the roof empty. The time sped by, until soon all three had returned from their tests.

“What’s with the sudden narrative, anyway?”

I don’t know man, I’ve gotta fill these pages with something.

All three graduated Summa Cum Laude, with 4.0 GPA. (Bloody finally. I swear if I have to

play another semester of Uni I’m going to cry.)

“I guess it’s time for me to head back to Desiderata… you sure you’re not coming with?”“Not immediately, Fab. Me and Max have gotta tie some stuff up with the Greek house first – anyway, you know those feelings you get? When you have to do something no

matter how little it makes sense?”“…yeah, perhaps.”

“Just got a feeling I should stay back. See you there.”“Alright. I’m gonna miss you!”

“Pfft. Wish I could say the same.”“Goddamn I hate you.”“Love you too, Fab.”

Alright. Let’s see the damage. What clothes will I have to put up with for the rest of this challenge?

Oh sweet baby plumbob.

Fabian Owl, Aries Knowledge sim with a 7/8/5/0/5 personality. Beating the apocalypse in golf shorts and a polo shirt.

“Wait. Did you just say apocalypse?”

…uh, no…?

“…I’d hope so.”“Nice golf shorts, Fab.”

“Oh, be quiet Espy.” Fabian laughed. “I’ll take the car… you guys will be okay coming back in a cab?”

“Or, you know, you could pick us up.”“…that works too.”

“Anyway, you gonna watch the game tonight?” Esperanza asked Max excitedly.“Well, considering we’ve finally got a TV, sure!” Max replied. He fist pumped. “The Llamas have got

this in the bag.”“I don’t know, Max. The Cows have got some good players this year…”

“Oh, just you wait, Esp. The Llamas are going to mop the field with them.”“Tch, we’ll see.”

“What sort of llama supporter are you?”“A logical one!”

“The Llamas are storming ahead 5-2 against the Cows, but the Cows have called a quick time-out to review their game plan; who knows what’s going to come out of their new coach’s mind? He’s

had a great run so far…”

“The Cows are playing a vicious game! They’ve tackled the Llama’s best player to the ground, getting a status report from the field now

– I’m hearing there’s a possible fatal concussion in there! The referee’s called the Cows up on their unfair play, and it looks like

the Llamas are getting a free go…”

“86 is back up and playing, but the Cow’s 11 looks like he’s got his own plans in mind… with the score at 5-4, we’re going to take a

quick intermission!”

“Esp, you’ve been unnaturally loud throughout this, for a closet Cows supporter.”“I’m all for fair play, man, and those Cows have got none of it. I don’t care how good the players are this year, my bet’s on the Llamas… anyway, I need a toilet break.”

“Same. Convene back here in five minutes. Go, go, go!” Max shouted as he stormed from his seat to the toilet.

“…who the heck takes five minutes to pee?!”

*flush*

*flush*

Meanwhile, in Desiderata Valley – the site of the big Llamas vs Cows game…

“Those Cows… can’t play a good game to save their lives! Jeez.”

“…We’re going to take a quick intermission!”

“Good. I need to pee anyway.” Natasha Una said, as her thoughts drifted to grilled cheese. She sighed somewhat wistfully as she headed to her bathroom.

*flush*

“…wish I’d have bothered to get a TV for this. The livestream is so slow.” John Mole muttered. A slightly crackly announcement burst through his computer speakers.

“…we’re going to take a quick intermission!”

“I can finally get to the toilet. Thank plumbob.” The spy uttered as he unzipped his fly.

*flush*

“Happy Birthday, darling!” Victor Aspir shouted as he watched his daughter grow up.“Happy Biwthday!” She replied.

His wife smiled kindly, but he could tell her mind was somewhere else. Did he really need to bring up his want for more children today, of all days?

“Hands! Mummy, look, I have hands!”“Woo! You go, honeybun!”

“Those Llamas are playing like they’re Stratovariuses! Come on, man up a bit! The Cows aren’t hurting you too bad!”

“You obviously seem to support the Cows,” Luis Aspir said. “…Why?”“They play the game. I like them for it.”

“…we’re going to take a quick intermission!”

“Gee, what a place to stop.” Moaned the Aspir’s daughter. “I was hoping to see some more broken bones…”

“Hey now, hun, that’s not a good thing to want.”“Eh, pain is funny!” She smiled.

“…that’s my girl.” Replied her mother.“…my gosh.” Victor uttered.

As the adverts started, the family scooted over to their respective toilets quickly.

*flush*

*flush*

*flush*

“Adverts nearly over, guys! Hurry up! You should have gone before, like I did!”

A few moments beforehand, a scarfed man sat in the only “apocalypse legal” house in the neighbourhood and sighed as the adverts came on.

“Welp, guess I should get the flush going! Sorry, Fabian.”

*flush*

It was silent, at first, the simself noted. Before a sudden explosive sound ricocheted throughout the hills Desiderata Valley was so serenely nestled between. He sat down

at a strangely glowing typewriter, and cricked his neck to the side.

“Let’s get this apocalypse started.”

The simself apocalypse shelter, (with it’s… perhaps illegal windows) was suddenly covered in a thin layer of snow.

Well, you’d say it was snow, from the look, feel and temperature, but…

“Why do they call it nuclear winter?” The simself read from his printout of rules, “Because everything is dead. The snow you see is toxic ash.”

“…but it’s still really good to make a snowman out of.” (Okay, so he added that last bit on.)

It wasn’t until the next morning Fabian arrived, but Desiderata looked markedly… different. The ground was dead, and the sky was cold. The thin snow he had saw

begin to fall had fallen away, and the air was filled with a chill.

“…what the hell happened?”

“Aiden, right?” Asked Fabian.“That’s me… why do you ask?” The newspaper boy was looking suspicious.

“…what the hell happened?”“What, you don’t know? Everyone knows!”

“…Well, I don’t.”“…everyone was watching the Llamas vs Cows game last night – everyone in the

valley and sub-neighbourhoods, anyway, and…”“…and what?”

“…during the intermission, the sewage systems where overloaded. All three of the nuclear power plants went into meltdown… it’s like the apocalypse. Zombies on the

streets… crime’s gotten worse…”“…what do you know about Académie Le Tour?”

“…sorry, I have no clue.”

A weak smile crossed Fabian’s face, as he tried to push up his cheeks to prevent tears.

“…thanks kid, take this tip.”“Wow, really, thanks! Uh… don’t bother trying to call anyone.”

“What…? Why?”“…phone lines are jammed. Most of Desiderata is using dial-up to play some… MMO, world’s strongest servers, they say. I… don’t play it, but… yeah, don’t try calling any

time other than Tuesday.”“…why?”

“Weekly server downtime, you know?”“Oh, okay… what day is it today?”

“Monday, man… catch up.”“Yeah… Anyway, thanks.”

“No worries. See you tomorrow.”“…yeah.”

“It’s the big Llamas VS Cows game, and all across the region, people are watching. The commentator calls a quick intermission… and every sim in the Valley goes to use the toilet. Every single toilet in the region is flushed at the same time. The resulting drop in water pressure causes

the three nuclear power plants in the area to go critical and melt down, devastating the region. Thankfully, the founder is out of the valley when this happens, but when he returns to start his

family, he finds a very different world in which he must survive.

The following nuclear fallout affects the minds of all the sims but the founder, and one of his possible heirs each generation. They cannot hear the commands of their ruling simself, and operate entirely on freewill, with the exception of a few actions. The founder and his heirs must therefore not only care for themselves, but for the others around them. They must allow their family to flourish –

and bring hope back to the region.”

- paraphrased from Pinstar’s original flavour text, with some additions.

Hi everyone!

I’m glad you’ve bared with my writing thus far, and I’m here to explain everything – from how the ISBIpocalypse is going to work, to why Great British postage stamps don’t have the country name on them. Actually, I won’t explain that last bit, but regardless.

The ISBIpocalypse is a combination of the ISBI challenge and the Apocalypse challenge – the ISBI challenge standing for “I’m Surrounded By Idiots”, i.e., apart from the founder and his torch holders, I cannot control any other sims in the household. However, considering the strange nature of this challenge (the apocalypse part, if you’ve not guessed) I need to have some control over my other sims to even feasibly complete the challenge. I have allowed myself to be able to send pregnant female sims to work, and for it NOT to count towards my one action per life stage, and to tell sims to skill, mostly due to the rule that if a sim does not have 10 body skill, they cannot leave the lot at all – and since sims don’t skill on free will, I’m going to need to solicit some control.

However, for everything asides from that, the only sim I can control is my founder and my torch holders. It’s already challenging, so I can’t wait for it to really start!

Thanks a bunch for still reading, and hopefully I’ll see you next update!

-Thai(oh, by the way, I’m scoring, too. So, there’ll be a score sheet at the end of each update, as well as an author’s note. Probably. Not this one, though. Nothing to score!

Also, Great British postage stamps don’t have the country name on them because they were the first stamps to be implemented, hence not requiring it! The more you know!)