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Acknowledgements

1 wish to express my gratitude to the many people who helped me with this research project -- from its beginning to its end. The support, understanding, and encouragement from the following people helped me accomplish one of the most significant achievements of my life.

Heartfelt thanks to...

the 'Waffling Women" (the four amazing people who participated in this research study)

1 appreciate the significant amount of time and energy al1 of you contributed to this project. Thanks for sharing your experiences, and your laughter. 1 owe you al1 a great deal. r I should also acknowledge the "sacrifices" made by your significant others who were undoubtedly aff'ected by the daily early awakenings for the "morning pages" 1.

my faculty advisor, Marilyn Hamilton

It was a pleasure to work with you on this project. You provided me with the gentle guidance, ideas, vision, and support 1 needed to finish this project.

my parents, friends, colleagues, and fellow classmates who supported and encouraged me during my two years in the MALT program

1 would especially like to thank my mother, Anne Hemsworth, for "being there" when 1 needed it.

my project sponsor, J e n n i f e r Pearson Terell

Your infectious enthusiasm and brilliant ideas have been very inspiring and mo tivat h g .

Table of Contents

Acknowledgements i

Chavter 0ne:Studv Background 1-1

Introduction 1-1

The Problem/Opportunity 1-1

Information Review 1-2

Project Participants: 1-3

Why is this research important? 1-5

Cha~ter Tzao: Literature Review 2-1

Review of Organization Documents 2-1

Who are British Columbia's teachers? 2-1

Where do new teachers corne from? 2-2

Review of Supporting Literature 2 -2

Teaching and Job Satisfaction 2 -3

The Complexities of Teaching 2-4

The Voices of Women in Education 2 -6

Conclusion 2-7

C h a ~ t e r Three: Conducf of Research Studr 3-1

Research Methods 3-1

Participatory Action Research (PAR) 3-1

What is a "Learning Circle"? 3-1

Why did 1 choose Learning Chcles? 3-2

Study Conduct 3-4

Steps of Research Roject & Data Gathehg Tools 3-4

C h a ~ t e r Fouc Research Studv Results 4-1

Study Findings: Hearing the Voices of Teachers 4-1

Identity of Project Participants 4-2

The First Leaming Circle 4-4

Using "The Artist's Way at Work Riding the Dragon" (Bryan et al. 1998) 4-20

The Final Leaming Circle 4-24

s-81y 4-34

Study Conclusions 4-36

Study Recommendations 4-39

Chapter Five: Research Im~l ica t ions 5- 1

Research Participants 5-1

O t h e r Teachers 5-1

Future Research 5-2

Conclusion 5-3

Chanter Six: Lessons Learned 6-1

Research Project Lessons Learned 6-2

Program Lessons Learned 6-5

Mqjor Project Cornpetencies 6-6

References

Appendix A: Letter of Agreement A- I

Appendix B: Participant Consent Form B- 1

Appendix C: The Covenants of O u r Learning Circles C-1

Appendix D: Chapter Headings and Recommended Tools from The Artist's Wav at Work: Ridine the Dragon D- 1

Chapter One: Studv Background

Introduction

Imagine the teacher u~ho, as both student and researcher, assembles her oun intellectual history in the interests of a theoretical and reflectice project about leaming and teaching. That is not, by and large, something ulomen teachers are encouraged to do, though such things are beginning to happen. Such a teacher puts herself in touch with a line of narratives about fernale education, uihich runs more or less uninterruptedy from the middle of the eighteenth c e n t u ~ to the present da? (Miller, 1996, p. 223,.

At the outset of this major research project, I did not realize the extent of knowledge 1 would gain. The process helped me to learn far more than 1 had anticipated about my peers, my school, the educational system, and myself. 1 can attribute al1 of the knowledge 1 gained to the following factors: the research methodology used for data collection, the group process of the weekly meetings, and researching related literature.

The Pro blemlûpportunity

Although 1 enjoy teaching and know that I am successful at what 1 do, 1 feel that there is something missing. 1 often feel under-challenged and somewhat unmotivated. In discussions with friends, colleagues and family, 1 realize that many other people feel the same way as 1 do. Many of these professionally qualified, gainfully employed and "successful" (in the traditional sense of the wordl people feel stagnated by their careers. They feel that they are lacking passion for their work. Several people are considering changing careers, yet they are unsure about what career they would rather do.

The Artist's Way (Cameron, 1992 was a book that was introduced to me a few years ago by a friend who is an artist. She was very enthusiastic about the program that promises to unlock hidden creativity within us. This creativity c m then be used to enhance your artistic abilities. The exercises prescribed in this book rely heavi-y on strategies çuch as journal writing and developing greater self-awareness.

1 was very intrigued by the ideas presented in The Artist's Wav tcameron, 1992). 1 had always believed that creativity was a skill that you were either born with, or you weren't, and 1 had never explored the idea that it is a skill that could be learned or developed. 1 read the book and found that the exercises promoted in the program are very worthwhile. I was further intrigued about the possibility of learning and enhancing creative thinking skills during the f r s t Master of Arts in Leadership and Training ( MALT) summer residency.

The -4rtist's Wav at Work: Riding the Dragon (Bryan, Cameron & Allen, 1999) uses çome the same principles as The Artist's Wav. However, the premise is that you can use the same techniques in order to improve your creativity in the workplace, and discover your passion and your "dream" job. It also uses strategies such as quizzes, letter writing, information gathering and self-analysis. This text suggests that people should work through the program in "study groups." An outline of the chapters within this book is provided in Appendix D.

As soon as 1 heard about the book I thought, "Yes, this sounds like the thing for me." 1 decided to use The Artist's Wav at Work tBryan et al., 1998) as the basis for my project since it provides an interesting guideline for investigating career-related issues.

As a result of this decision, the questions to be explored through this research project are as follows:

What effect does the twelve-week program outlined in The Artist's Way a t Work: Riding the Dragon have on young female teachers who are trying to discover their true professional callings and passions?

1 HOW can we lead ourselues better?

J What changes do we need to make in our lives?

Information Review

1 corne from a farnily where many of the women are in the field of education. My grandmother, Norma Hemsworth, was a teacher in rural New Brunswick in 1939. When she was growing up, she always knew that she wanted to be a teacher. She would gather other chiIdren from her neighbourhood and "teach them things they didn't know dready." Her annual salary was $400 for teaching thirteen children in eight different grades. She admits that the pay was "rotten" but the working conditions were fairly good. She enjoyed teaching back then, but she is not so sure she would like to be a teacher today.

My mother, Anne Hemsworth, is also an educator. Her passion for reading led her to become a literacy volunteer back in the 1970's. Books and literature are so important to her that she could not imagine having to live without reading. She soon became a full-thne adult education teacher. She brancheti off into teaching Life Skills courses a t the local community college, çhe loved helping people make profound differences in their lives.

As 1 was growing up, any time someone asked me what job 1 would like to as an adult, the answer: "She's going to be a teacher" magically resounded through the air. It çounded like a good plan to me. As a young girl, I loved going into my mother's school to meet her students, and 1 enjoy working with people. As a result, 1 never really explored any other career options.

Many other women continue to pursue careers in the field of education. British Columbia's 1997 teaching population was comprised of 66% women (the most common age is 46) and 34% men (the most common age is 50). In addition, women continue to represent the majority of teachers entering the workforce. In 1998, for example, 52% of BC's new educators were women (Schaefer, 1999).

According to King and Peart ( 1992 i , BC teachers report having lower job satisfaction than teachers in eight other Canadian provinces or territories. The areas reporting the highest level ofjob satisfaction as teachers (in 1992) were Ontario and the Northwest Territories. This study suggests that job satisfaction is closely related to teachers' relationships with their administrators: "teachers in schools in which principals provided helpful feedback, clearly communicated school goals and policies, and supported teachers in disciplinas, and other areas were far more likely to be highly satisfied with their job" (King & Peart, 1992, p. 107).

However, teachers must take some responsibility for their own happiness and job satisfaction. Educators are not an isolated component of the school system. Teachers, administrators, the community, and students have to work together to provide a safe and productive learning and working environment for everyone involved. In this research study, 1 am asking a group of teachers to introspectively examine the relationship between their personal lives and professional lives.

Project Participants:

Because of the nature of my question, 1 chose to establish a study group of four other female teachers in their late twenties to their mid- thirties. These women are people with whom 1 have worked professionally, taken or have met through other friends in

the Vancouver area. These women were also feeling various degrees of frustration with their careers, and they were dso motivated by the idea of forming a studyidiscussion group. As a result, they share my enthusiasm for the goals of the project.

The fact that we already knew each other created an atmosphere where we felt cornfortable to launch into deep discussions during the initial learning circle. 1 had an active role in the data collection, as 1 was conducting participatory action research. Al1 of the research participants volunteered to take part in this research study.

These four other women, like myself, have al1 completed undergraduate degrees at Canadian universities or overseas. After having completed their undergraduate studies. they then decided to pursue a career in education. Each woman in the group has completed at least five full years of university study.

Each woman in the study group is also currently a full-time educator in British Columbia's Lower Mainland (Vancouver and surrounding areas). Two of the participants are working in community colleges, and three of the participants (including myselfi are working in the public school system in various school districts.

Since the group members are al1 from the same geographic area, we will have regular contact with each other over a four-month period of time (from October 2000 to Febmary 2001 i .

Each woman in the study group had equal opportunities to participate in the Learning Circles. They were asked to share their thoughts, hopes and fears with the rest of the group. The only time data was gathered for the purposes of this Major Project was during the First Learning Circle in October 2000, and during the Final Learning Circle in February 2001. These results are published in Chapter Four of this document.

My role as researcher was:

To bring the group together, and outline the goals and purpose for this research.

To facilitate the practice Learning Circle.

To provide the initial question for the first Learning Circle and the fmal Learning Circle.

To gather, store, compile and analyze al1 data.

To participate in the Learning Circles and in the study group meetings.

To synthesise the data, and compile the report.

Why is this research important?

The questions asked for this Major Project have important and valuable significance for dl of the learning circle participants and the organizations they work for.

When a person works in a job they are not passionate about, they may suffer from low job satisfaction. Low job satisfaction is often accompanied by feelings of low self- esteem, lower productivity and lower chances for personai growth (since the interna1 motivation to succeed is lower~. More importantly, it has been proven that the level of a teacher's job satisfaction directly affects her students' educational experiences (Doyle & Forsyth, 1973; Goodman, 1980; Rosenholtz, 1989; Stanton, 1974).

This research study encouraged four teachers to explore their careers in relation to their personal lives. The findings presented in Chapter Four suggest that this type of investigation should be undertaken with more teachers in order to improve the working conditions for today's educators.

Chapter Two: Literature Review

The purpose of this chapter is to provide a context for the findings documented in this major project. In addition to providing statistics about the distribution of educators in British Columbia, 1 have cited other research studies that explore teachers and job satisfaction, the complexities of teaching, and the voice of women in the field of education. By doing ço, 1 am establishing the connection of my findings to the ongoing dialogue about the reality of teaching in today's society.

Review of Organization Documents

Since the research participants in this çtudy do not al1 work for the same school, the organizational documents of reviewed will provide information about teaching in the public school system in British Columbia.

Who are British Columbia's teachers?

According to the Ministry of Education's ( 1999100) Summarv of Kev Information: A listing of select information on the British CoIumbia School Svstem:

In the 1999/2000 school year there were approximately 36,000 full-time positions for educators in British Columbia's 1,800 public schools (elementary and secondary J.

There were a total of 35,687 full-time positions f ~ r educators (teachers, administrators 1:

13,208 positions for males 22, 659 positions for females

Out of the 22, 659 full-time equivalent positions for women: 68% of women were teachers 42.3% of women were vice principals 33.1% of women were principals 51.2% of educators are aged 45 or older.

Where do new teachers corne from?

The British Columbia Teacher's Federation's (BCTF) (November 2000) report entitled " Teacher Supply and Demand in British Columbia: Enhancing the Quality of Education: Attracting, Recmiting and Retaining the Best Teachers" lists three sources of new teachers: new graduates from university education programs, other provinces or countries, and underemployed or inactive teachers.

New graduates: between 1,500 to 1,800 new teachers graduate from B.C.'s four university level teacher education programs. not al1 graduates decide to enter the teaching profession.

Migration from other provinces or countries: the B.C. College of Teachers issues between 650 to 900 teaching certificates per year to out-of-province applicants.

Underemployed teachers, inactive teachers: many new teachers begin their careers with part-time contracts. three-quarters of Teachers on Cal1 would prefer to have full-time teaching positions.

Review of Supporthg Literature

In order to provide a context for the findings of this research study, the following sections will provide a synopsis of some current research or theories regarding the following three areas: teaching and job satisfaction, the complexities of teaching, and the voices of women in education.

1 start with a review of the research on teaching and job satisfaction and how it contributes to our knowledge about the factors af'fecting teacher morale. I then review literature exploring interna1 and extemal complexities of working in today's schools. Most importantly, 1 conclude this section with information regarding women's voices in the field of education.

Al1 of these sections relate to the findings uncovered when the following questions were explored by a group of five female teachers during this research study:

3 What effect does the twelue-week program outlined in The Artist's Way at Work: Riding the Dragon have on young female teachers who are trying to discover their true professional callings and passions?

3 HOW can me leadourselves betfer?

J What changes do we need to make in our lives?

Additional information regarding theçe issues is contained within the context of other chapters within this report.

Teaching and Job Satisfaction

Teacher morale has a direct effect on the students' achievement rates within the school setting (Doyle & Forsyth. 1953; Goodman, 1980; Rosenholtz, 1989; Stanton, 19541. Teachers' job satisfaction can be attributed to several factors. These factors include relationships a i t h colleagues and students, the level of perceived autonomy, and the level of stress in the work environment.

King and Peart i 1992 1 conducted a national qualitative and quantitative study documenting the work and quality of Iife for Canadian educators. After surveying teachers, principals, and vice-principals from each province and territory, they suggest that most teachers appreciate the intrinsic rewards <e.g. helping students develop skills, and providing service to the community, etc.) of their jobs.

This study (King & Peart, 1992 provides evidence supporting the conclusion that a teacher's job satisfaction is closely related to her relationships with her students, colleagues, and administrators. These findings echo the importance of a teacher's workplace relationships as identified by Clarke and Keating (1996). Both reports (Clarke & Keating, 1995; King & Peart, 1992 conclude that the most satisfying aspect of a teacher's job is positive interactions with students. However, teachers experiencing a jack of administrative support feel the lowest levels of job satisfaction (Clarke & Keating, 1995; King & Peart, 1992).

Another factor contributing to a teacher's job satisfaction is the perception of the "locus of control." Bein, Anderson, and Maes i 1990 concluded that teachers with a sense of personal control over decision-making were significantly more satisfied than those teachers who perceived a lack of control in this area. Sirnilarly, teachers with a strong sense of autonomy with regard to developing and implementing curriculum report higher levels of job satisfaction (Wright 1985). However, it should also be noted that McLaughlin and Talbert's (1993) study of sixteen schools in California and

Michigan concluded that successfùl schools have 'lprofessional communities" on staff who work together to collaboratively solve problems.

There is also a relationship between a teacher's level of stress and her job satisfaction. Barkdoll ( 19911 found that the most satisfied teaches reported low workplace stress, whereas the least satisfied teacher reported ievels of high stress. King and Peart's ( 1992 1 study found that younger female teachers were more likely to be in the "hgh stress category" than any other group of educators. The factors contributing to teacher stress are: workload and time demands, lack of recognition and support from administrators, student behaviour, status in the comrnunity, and government policies and policy implementation (King & Peart 1992,.

The Complexities of Teaching

Teaching in today's schools can be a very complex issue. Rosenholtz studied seventy- eight schools to examine the relationship between the culture of a school and student learning for Teacher's Work~lace: The Social Or~anization of Schools (1989). This research concluded that the ability of schools. and teachers within those institutions, to manage external and interna1 cornplexities effectively cm lead to "learning enriched" schools (for teachers and studentsi.

The field of education is infiuenced by several external circumstances -- such as political, economic, and cultural factors which are beyond an individual teacher's control( Hixson, 1997; King & Peart, 1992 1. Hargreaves and Fullan < 1998 > cite additional factors contributing to the complex nature of teachers' roles within educational institutions. McLaughlin and Talbert (1993) identified multiple contexts affecting teaching. These contexts (see Figure 2.1 adapted from Brown and Moffett, 1999 > are interdependent factors affecting students and educators in today's schools.

Environment: Educational Goals and Noms of Practice. Reform Inrtiatives

Professional Contexts Associabons. Collaboratives. Netwarks. Teacher Education Programs

Higher €ducation. Standards for Admission and Student Achevernent

- ParentlCommunitylSoual Class structure

Schoot System

Figure 2.1: "Embedded Contexts That Affect Teaching" adapted from McLaughiin and Talbert as found in Brown and Moffett (1999, p. 162).

1

Schooi Organuation

Subjea Area 1 Depanment

Teachers also have to manage an increased amount of internal cornplexities in today's schools (Brown & Moffett, 1999; King Br Peart, 1992; Miller, 1996). These internal demands are a part of a teacher's regular duties, but they can be very time- consuming and stressful if not managed properly. King and Peart's (1992) study of Canadian teachers reveals:

\

Teachers' work days can be very intense. As they attempt to respond to their perceptions of students' needs, they draw on their expertise to implement appropriate teaching methods and content, and to forestall disciplinary problems. Pre- and post-school preparation and supervision of student activities and weekend marking and planning lengthen the workw-eek çubstantially ip. 70).

Classroom Sublects and Students

Failure to deal with the complexities facing today's schools can lead to teacher burn- out, stress, dissatisfaction and increased attrition rates. The British Columbia Teacher's Federation's t BCTF, November 2000 report, "Teacher Supply and Demand in British Columbia: Enhancing the Quality of Education: Attracting, Recniiting and Retaining the Best Teachers" suggests that hard data documenting the specific reasons why teachers decide to leave the profession -- especially within the first few years of a career -- is lacking.

However the BCTF t 2000) suggests some reasons why teachers choose to leave their careers. These reasons may include the inability to gain full-time continuing contract employment, low salaries, increasing workload, need for renewal, lack of professional support, desire to teach elsewhere and employment opportunities in other fields or occupations. Marlow, Inmar, and Betancourt-Smith ( 1996) also reported that common reasons teachers cite for leaving their jobs include student discipline problems, lack of motivation and respect from students, and lack of respect from the community. parents, and administrators.

The Voices of Women in Education

British Columbia's 1997 teaching population was comprised of 66% women (the most common age is 16) and 34% men i the most common age is 30 1. Women continue to represent the majority of teachers entering the workforce. In 1998, for example, 72% of BC's new educators were women (Schaefer 1999). These statistics are not unique to British Columbia; women constitute the majority of teaching personnel in many countries around the world t Gmmet, 1988).

Although the collection of stories of women's lives inside and outside of the world of education has been rapidly expanding over the past few decades (David & Woodward, 1998; De Lyon & Widdowson Migniuolo, 1989; Dewar, 1994; Schmuck 1987; Shack, 1973), additional research needs to be conducted. Miller (1996) and Gmmet (1988) argue that educators deseme, and require, more academic studies focusing on the lives of female teachers. Miller t 1996) states:

If not quite unexplored territory, women teachers are a curiously neglected subject. Serious research is still published an almost every aspect of state education which makes no mention of women's presence within it, whether as students or teachers (p. xiii).

Because academic literature has a largely male focus, Miller (1996) also encourages more research studies that describe women's reasons for becoming a teacher, and their lives as teachers.

Teachers should be encouraged to embark on their own research quests. Literature supports the notion of reflective educational practice (Schon 1983; Newman 1998, Whitehead 1993; Laidlaw 1996 i. According to these reports, action research studies enrich students' and teachers' learning experiences: "Teacher ! action research is about discovering ourselves, about uncovering our assumptions, about learning, about teaching, about values and beliefs" (Newman 1992 ). These persona1 inquiries lead to a deeper understanding of oneself, and one's role within herhis environment.

Conclusion

What 1 have attempted to show in this review of the literature is the relationship between factors contributing to teachers' job satisfaction rates, some of the complexities facing today's teachers, and the voices of women in education. By doing so, 1 am suggesting that more research needs to be done to capture the stones of women's experiences i positive and negative) in today's schools.

Combining existing knowledge from the literature about the livee of teachers, with qualitative data from five female educators is a powerful way to fil1 in some of the gaps that are missing in existing accounts of women in the field of education.

Chapter Three: Conduct of Research Study

Research Methods

The purpose of this research study is for a group of young women to explore their current careers, and decide what changes need to be made (if any J in order to increase job satisfaction and general happiness. The research method used to achieve this outcome falls under the category of participatory action research (PAR). PAR is a postmodern approach to gathering, analyzing and using data. This approach allowed the voices of myself and the other research participants to be expressed and heard.

Postmodern research is a qualitative method that relies upon accurate accounts of research participants' experiences, feelings, and hopes. Dewar ( 1996) describes postmodernism as: ". . . the attempt in many disciplines to give voice to the traditionally marginalized; ultimately, it is an attempt to redress irnbalances between dominant groups and the marginalized." For the purposes of this project, the voices of some women employed in British Columbia's education sector have been documented. This approach is suitable for this project because postmodern research does not attempt to corne up with one definitive answer to a research problem.

Participatory Action Research (PAR)

If the three words of PAR are examined individually, this methodology can easily be understood. "Participatory" implies that many people are involved in the research process. "Action" implies that the research is an active, on-going, and energetic entity that inspires change. And, "research irnplies that a question, problem or situation is being explored. More specifically, McNicoll ( 1999) describes PAR as ". . . a methodology that incorporates subjects in the research and indexes results to transforming the lives of those involved" (p. 51).

What is a "Learning Circle "?

A "learning circle" is an example of a PAR vehicle. A researcher and research participants collectively explore a problem or issue by openly verbalizing their

thoughts and ideas to the research group. This open dialogue is transcribed, and this data is analyzed in order to capture the essence and importance of the participants' contributions. Learning circles are tools that give everyone an equal voice and equal opportunity.

Although, there are no absolute rules or guidelines to follow when using learning circles as a research methodology, the primary considerations regarding their usage involve valuing and respecting the participants. The researcher must take al1 necessary steps in order to ensure tmst and comfort amongst the learning circle participants ( Schubert, 1996; Wade & Hammick, 1999 1.

It is useful for researchers to explain the methodology behind learning circles to the research participants prior to engaging in active research. Participants must be made aware of the fact that, because of the unstructured nature of learning circles, personal and sensitive information may be shared (Wade et al., 1999). Since learning circles differ from traditional quantitative research methods, explaining the methodology also gives research participants insight into the validity of the data collected.

Why did I choose Learning Circles?

After hearing about research projects from Royal Roads Instructors and former MALT learners, 1 decided that it would be interesting to use the learning circle format for my project. In the second residency of the leadership program learners were encouraged to explore traditional and emerging research methodologies. Groups of MALT learners explored different approaches to collecting research data. Our assignment was to spend a week reviewing related literature and practicing the methodology. 1 chose to participate in one of the teams exploring the purpose and pract ical applications of learning circles.

The experience of working with the learning circles group cemented my desire to use this methodology as the vehicle for collecting data for my major project. Here is a section of my journal from this =mer which describes my first exposure to a circle:

Monda?, July 31": 2000.

Today uTe had our learning circle. I w m unusually nervous and self-aware ut the beginning of the process. I think I wus feeling this way because for tu10 reasons: u7e ccere expen'menting ccith a neu? methodologv (for rnost of us), and, because I have chosen to base nty research upon the fact that I am going to use learning circles euen though I have hud no experience with them at all.

We uere slou. to start ut the beginning of the circle, but I am gratefil that u7e had a talking stick. It proüided a tactile sense of calrnness when it rested in my hands, and it gace me the confidence to express myself open-. In fact, I think I would haue been much quieter without it. I actually surprised mysetf a couple of times. I uas ready to ' ~ u s s " my turn, but when the stick was placed in my hands I began to speak. The words I uttered had weight and connectirity to the rest of the dialogue shared in the learning circle.

The focus of the discussion utas çery broad and general du ring the first-turn around the circle. As t ine progressed, the words became more personalized and meaningful. Ernotions such as sadness and anger were open- expressed. The environment uvas utarm, trusting and fil2 of wonder and enlightenment.

The pouver of the circle was that it gare eveqone a voice. Each person spoke frorn his!her heart and shared a piece of himlherself.

Why did I choose to use learning circles as my primary means for collecting research data? For the following reasons:

openness equal opportunity for speech undirected conversation more freedom due to lack of facilitation reality speaking from the heart

Study Conduct

There were five phases of this research project: i Ii research idea, proposal writing, and preparation ( II) pre-assessrnent learning circle i half of data collectioni ( III > weekly group meetings t IV) post-assessrnent learning circle (other half of data collection) t V> report writing

The specific details of the steps taken to complete this research project are listed in greater detail in the following section.

Steps of Research Project & Data Gathering Tools

1. Inception of ideu.

1 had a real moment of enlightenment when 1 decided what my project was going to focus on. Prior to this "aha" moment I was given some suggestions from my workplace administrators. These ideas are worthy of a project, but 1 honestly did not feel that they would sustain my interest for an extended penod of time.

The " h a " moment came for me while 1 was in a bookstore. As 1 was browsing through the "Business" section, 1 spotted a book that a friend had told me about over the Christmas holidays. It is The Artist's Way at Work: Riding the Dragon. 1 thought it must be fate that 1 saw this book on the shelf that day because it happened on F e b n i a l 5 t h , Chinese New Year. In the Chinese calendar, it was the beginning of the year of the dragon, and the metaphor used throughout this book is-- yes, you guessed it -- the dragon. 1 thought, "There must be a reason for me picking up the book on this day!". As 1 was looking through it, 1 noticed a simple quotation that really spoke to me: "If you always do what you always did -- you'll always get what you always got" (p. xix)

"I have to do this book. I am going to be my Major Project. 1 am going to change myself and document the results," 1 said to myself jubilantly! 1 phoned a few friends to tell them of my epiphany and one friend commented that 1 was glowing over the phone. It was at that point that 1 knew that I had my major project. This is the reason why I enrolled in the MALT program.

2 . Prospectus and research proposal assern bled and approved.

The development of my research prospectus began in as a required component of one of the first-year MALT courses IRRU, LT 513: Systematic Inquiry in 0rganizations)of this program.

The research proposal was then cornpleted during the second residency. It was approved in the middle of August, allowing me time to prepare before the actud data collection was to begin.

3. Recruitment of participants.

The participants of this research project volunteered to be a part of the study. A general introduction to the research participants is provided in Chapter One of this document. In Chapter Four, you have a deeper understanding of the participants as individuals. You will learn about their hopes, their fears and their frustrations.

In the summer of 2000, two of my friends came to Victoria to attend a weekend- long music festival. This event was held on the grounds of Royal Roads University in middle of my second residency. Since 1 was completely immersed in MALT courses at the time of their visit, we discussed the idea of my project. They are both teachers and they wanted to participate in the research. One of the women had already completed parts of The Artist's Wav (Cameron, 19921, and was curious to explore the exercises in The Artist's Wav at Work (Bryan et al., 1998 ).

When 1 got back to work in September 1 was discussing my project with some of my peers in the school system. One of my colleagues was interested in doing The Artist's Wav (Cameron, 1992) book by herself. When she heard what 1 was going to be doing with my research group, she quickly volunteered to join.

The final research participant joined our group after seeing The Artist's Way a t Work tBryan et al., 19981 book sitting on my friend's cofTee table. She had participated in a women's study group before, and was looking for a similar experience. She joined the group after the introductory meeting and the practice learning circle. When she arrived for the frst learning circle, it was the fxst time we had met each other.

4. Information session.

After reading literature, talking with people and experiencing a learning circle firsthand, 1 decided that it would be beneficid for our group to meet informally before the actual data collection was to begin. The information session was held in the living room of my house on a Thursday evening of October 2000.

There was a dual purpose to this meeting. It was a chance for the research participants to get to know each other better. It was also a chance for people to decide whether or not they really wanted to commit to the project. The meeting went well, and everyone decided to participate in the study. We then scheduled the practice leaming circle.

5. Practice learning circle.

The purpose of' the practice leaming circle was

- to set the ground rules for our group' s use of learning circles - to review the "Letter of Consent" (see Appendix B) - to test the recording technology - to help the group prepare for the actual learning circle.

In order to introduce the group to the purpose and philosophy of learning circles 1 brought dong segments of my research proposal and a presentation that I completed with a group of learners during my second residency at RRU. After discussing the ideas presented about leaming circles, we set the ground d e s for our group's use of leaming circles. The covenants our group adopted are based upon the covenants I developed with a group of learners at RRU (these covenants are listed in Appendix C).

1 then reviewed the "Letter of Consent" with the group members. 1 allowed time for the group members to read the contract individually. We had a short discussion about the purpose of the Letter of Consent, and then each group member signed the document. These documents were then collected and filed in a locked storage space in my home.

We then began our first learning circle while we sat around my friend's dining room table accompanied by some food and drink. Two separate devices recorded the conversation in order to ensure that the dialogue was taped properly. Our

topic of discussion focused on the portrayal of women in the media. We had agreed to allow for one speaker at a time. Our discussion went around the table two times. The practice learning circle lasted for about forty minutes. We then scheduled the "First Learning Circle" for the following Thursday evening.

6. First learning circle.

The purpose of the firçt learning circle was to gather half of the raw data to be used for this research study. Pnor to attending this meeting, participants were asked to read the introductory chapter of The Artist's Wav at Work and to complete the tool called "Entering the Gate." This tool asks people to list their fears, angers and hopes about completing the twelve week prograrn outlined in the book < Bryan et al., 1998, p. xxi). I then asked that participants corne to the learning circle prepared to share this information with the group.

1 started the discussion by sharing my background and my purposes for doing this prograrn. After finishing speaking, 1 passed a çmall carved sculpture to the next woman in the group. The procese continued around the circle with al1 of us listening intently. Throughout the discussion many different emotions were expressed. There were moments of laughter and moments of anger. We ended up talking for approximately an hour-and-a-half after having gone through the circle twice.

This discussion a a s recorded using standard cassette tapes and later transcribed by the researcher. The cassette tapes have been kept securely in a locked filing cabinet in order to protect the confidentiality of the research participants. These cassettes will be destroyed after the completion of this report.

7. Weekly meetings.

The purpose of our group's meetings was to discuss the content of The Artist's Wav at Work (Bryan et al., 1998) on a weekly basis. The content of the book is segmented into twelve different sections. These gatherings were an opportunity to focus on the discussion questions listed at the end of each chapter in the book. The headings for these chapters and the recommended tools within each chapter are listed in Appendix D

Each meeting lasted for approximately two hours. We shared the responsibility of leading the meetings by selecting facilitators on a rotating basis. In addition, the location of the meetings changed from week to week. By doing so we were able to

work in comfortable and familiar surroundings.

In addition to discussing the material in the book, we also found that we shared a great deal of personal information with each other. There were moments of laughter and moments of anger. We were always there to support one another as peers and friends.

9. Final celebration.

Closing circle.

The purpoçe of the closing circle was to collect the second half of the research data. Our discussion served as a post-assesçment of the process our group had used over the previous twelve weeks while using The Artist's Wav at Work (Bryan et al., 1998). In addition, we shared any conclusions we had made about Our persona1 and professional lives throughout the course of the program.

The procedure used in the closing circle was the same as the one described for the first learning circle. This discussion lasted for an hour.

Since Our group had spent so much tirne together, we wanted to celebrate the completion of the group process. We decided that we wanted to do something symbolic of our learning, creative, and productive.

Our original plan was to go down to one of Vancouver's beaches after dusk. We were going to use some Argentine 'globos.' These are paper balloons in which there is a piece of material that can be lit. The balloon then expands and floats away while illuminating the night sky. We were going to write messages on the side of the balloon to express how we felt, and we could then watch our sentiments float away. However, Our plans had to be cancelled due to some of Vancouver's infamous rain. We plan on doing this exercise in the summer months instead.

We were still able to have a final celebration despite the rain. We decided to go to a local shop which offers clients opportunities to make crafty projects. Each woman's name was written on a piece of paper, and then there was a draw to fmd out who would be making a project for whom. We chatted, ate sushi, and spent the evening working away on various projects. Three of the women chose to make mosaic tiles, and two of us painted wuie glasses with special decorative paints. At

the end of the night we presented to mark the ending of our group.

3-9

each other with our projects. It was a great way

10. Data analysed.

1 transcribed the recordings of the firçt and final learning circleç. 1 chose to complete the transcription process myself in order to become more familiar with the content of the discussions. My advisor dso informed me that doing yuur own transcription allows you to document a verbatim account of the dialogue, and it also allows you to make notes about the tone of the expression and which things people felt passionate about.

The transcription of these two learning circles produced twenty pages of raw data. Key ideas and statements captured through the discussions at the learning circles have been categorized and organized into similar themes. This material is included in Chapter Four of this report.

1 1. Report compiled.

The compilation of this information took about eight months from start to finish.

Chapter Four: Research Studv Results

This chapter focuses on the voices of the women who participated in thie research study. As mentioned earlier, we embarked on a quest to answer the following questions:

What effect does the ttcelve-week program outlined in The Artist's Wuy at Work: Ridins the Dragon have on Young female teachers who are trying to discocer their true professional callings and passions?

Hou can uTe lead ourselves better?

What changes do u.e need to make in our lives?

In this chapter 1 am not atternpting to represent the voices of al1 female teachers. Rather, 1 am representing the experiences, hopes, and fears of five young women. However, significant implications stem from Our discussions. For, if we are encountering these issues within Our small group, what is happening with the remainder of women teachers in British Columbia?

The women's words, feelings, and emotions were captured during the first and the final learning circles. The following sections will present direct quotations from these teachers according to the various themes arising from Our discussions. These quotations appear in italic font. In addition, 1 have woven my o m words with theirs, and provided supporting evidence from various literature sources. My comments and the quotations from literature appear in regular font.

Study Findings: Hearing the Voices of Teachers

The studj- findings are presented in four separate sections. These are as follows:

1. Identity of Project Participants introduces each research participant (using pseudonyms) briefly describes where they are currently working

2. The First Learning Circle data gathered from the transcriptions of the first learning circle is categorizes into four themes (reasons for becoming a teacher, frustrations, fears, and hopes) each theme is followed by my comments as a researcher, incorporating supporting evidence from literature

3. Using The .4rtistfs Wav at Work i Bryan et al., 1998) outlines the process the research group used usine The Artist's Wav at Work as a framework for the twelve weekly meetings includes a sample of some of the tools we used and discussed

4. The Final Learning Circle data gathered from the transcription of the final learning is presented, and the theme of working as a group is explored

Iden tity of Project Participants

Each woman (except for the researcher has been given a p~eudon~ym to conceal her tme identity. Direct quotations from each member are written in italics under a bold heading of one of the fol!owing nameshdentities in alphabetical order:

Bridget:

a recent graduate from the Faculty of Education, but has been teaching for a number of years Bachelor's degree in Commerce trained as a public school teacher in British Columbia was working part-time as a teacher-on-cal1 (TOC) in elementary schools, and as a part-time college instructor at the beginning of the research project during the course of the research, decided to quit working as a TOC, and take full-time equivalent work in the college system age, early thirties

a secondary languages and English teacher in the public school system Bachelor's degrees in Fine Arts and English trained as a public school educator in British Columbia encountered severe problems at school in the middle of this research project

she was threatened with violence by one student, her vehicle was vandalized on school property, and she received other serious threats from another student - al1 within a four-week time frame these problems became an issue within her school, her school district, and with the local police department

currently on stress leave for health reasons age, late twenties

began teaching career as an English instructor to francophone adults Bachelor's degree in French trained as a public school teacher in Eastern Canada currently working as a full-time equivalent college ESL instmctor and as an ESL teacher-trainer age, early thirties

Lesley (researcher):

began teaching English as a Second Language (ESL) nine years ago Bachelor's degree in History trained as a public school teacher in Ontario has taught in the public school system for the past three years secondary school ESL teacher age, early thirties

. Margaret:

began teaching ten years ago Bachelor's degree in English trained as a public school teacher in British Columbia secondary school English teacher eventually wants to become a counsellor age, mid-thirties

The First Learning Circle

From time to time, (the) tnbe (gatheredi in a circle. They just talked and talked, apparentky to no putpose.

They made no decisions. There utas no leader. And everybody could participate. There may hace been uise men or uyise ulomen u:ho were

listened to a bit more -- the older ones -- but everybody could talk. The meeting went on, until it finalky seemed tu stop for no reason ut all and the group dispersed. Yet aper that, e c e ~ b o - seemed to knout what to do,

because th- al1 understood each other so uiell. Then t h e could get together in smaller groups and do something or decide things.

--David Bohm, O n Dialogue iqtd. in Jaworski, 1998, p. 109).

The purpose of the first learning circle was for each participant to express her reasons for participating in the research study. In order to provide a framework for our discussion. 1 asked the group members to read the introductory chapter of The Artist's Wav at Work (Bryan et al. 1998, pp. w-xxi).

There is a tool embedded in this chapter called "Entering the Gate" which suggests that participants list their fears, angers and hopes prior to starting the twelve week program (Bryan et al. 1998, p. xxioll). Dunng the circle, we shared our responses to the aforementioned tool. In addition, each of us described why we became teachers.

As we gathered for our circle, participants spoke candidly and openly about themselves on a Thursday evening in October 2000.

The following themes have been extracted from this dialogue:

Reasons for becoming a teacher Frustrations Fears Hopes

On Becoming a Teacher

The following excerpt has been extracted from one of the most famous literary depictions of a woman becoming a teacher in Canada at the turn of the last century:

"Well, Miss S t a q wants to organize a class among her advanced students uyho mean to study for the entrance examination into Queen's. She intends to gice them extra lessons for an hour after school. And she came to ask Matthelc and me i f u e would like ?ou to hace p u join it. M a t do you think about it yourself, Anne? Would you like to go to Queen's and pass for a teacher 7"

"Oh. Marilla!" Anne straightened to her knees and clasped her hands. "It's been the dream of rny life -- that is, for the last six months, ever since Ru- and Jane began to talk of studying for the entrance. But I didn't say anything about it, because I supposed it u?ould be perfectly useless. l'd love to be a teacher. But won't it be dreadfilly expensive? Mr. Andrews says it cost him one hundred and f ipy dollars to put Prissy through, and P r i s s ~ wasn't a dunce in geometry."

"1 guess ?ou needn't wony about that part of it. When Mattherc and I took p u to bring up we resol~?ed ice would do the best we could for you and give you a good education. I belieoe in a girl being fitted to earn her own living whether she erer has to or not. You'll always have a home at Green Gables as long as Mattheu? and I are here, but nobody knows what is going to happen in this uncertain work, and it's just as uell to be prepared. So you can join the Queen's class if you like, Anne."

a . .

"1 shall take more interest than ever in my studies now," sazd Anne blissfully, "because I have a purpose in lzfe. Mr. AlZan says everybody should hace a purpose in life and pursue it faithfully. Only he says we must Frst make sure that it is a worthy purpose I would call zt a worthy purpose to want to be a teacher like Miss S t q , wouldn't you, M a d a ? I think itls a very noble profession . "

. . . "I think the Queen's class is going to be extremely interesting. Jane and Ru@ are just going to study to be teachers. That is the height oftheir ambition. R u b ~ says she u d l on- teach for tu'o years after she gets though, and then she intends to be mam'ed. Jane says she will devote her u'hole life to teaching, and never, never marrv, because you are paid a sala. for teaching, but a husband uyon't pay p u anything, and growls ifyou ask for a share in the egg and butter mon-. . ."

From Anne of Green Gables. IMontgomery, 1942, pp.257-260)

Reasons for becoming a teacher

Needlesç to Say, many things have changed in the past century. One hundred yearç ago, Canadian women had few employrnent options outside of the church or education i Shack, 1973 ). Today's women have endless career opportunities to explore; yet, many of us continue to become teachers.

What were our reasons for becoming teachers? Is it because we thought teaching is a 'noble profession' as Anne Shirley did? Is it because teaching provides secunty and benefits that other jobs don't? Whatever our reasons, teaching is where our journey has led us to this point. The following section provides an insight to the paths that members of this research group have followed dong the way:

Bridget:

I became a teacher because I uyanted to contribute something meaningfil to societv. I u'orked in a corporate office for a uhile and I did not feel an? personal satisfaction through that work. As a teacher, I have the ability to affect people's lives in a v e v direct and positiue w q . I believe that teaching is a noble and rewarding profession. I have enjoyed my career as a teacher up to this point.

Emily:

I corne fiom a fami- of professionals. My father was an engineer, my mother's a nurse, rny sister1s a nurse and a teacher, and I guess because I wasn't fitting

in the mold earlier on in life, I have aluays been referred to as kind of like the Zoser of the fami- because I am artistzc. HonestZy, I u7as, in fact, I think I'üe been told that quite a feu times uhen I ulas in my teens because I wasn't academic. I ulas neuer failing or anything like that, but I was always in art. That's al1 I wanted to do. That's al1 I cared about.

I had a lot of talking to, by my sister, she's twelce years older than I am. She aluyays said things like "Give your head a shake," and "What do you think that you're doing?" and "You're on a path of self destruction." My parents uiould ask her to talk to me al1 of the time.

I didn't succumb to aIL this pressure until I hit my early tuenties. That's when ecerybody was pressu ring me to get a good job, w ith good p q , with good benefits and something secure. So then, that's rchen I finally succurnbed to the whole pressure thing, but it was constant. It was a constant pressure. I u7as not encouraged at all; in fact, I ccas called a Zoser for pursuing an artzstic path instead of a professional or academic path.

I came from a small toicn, and uhen I graduated from high school I won an art axard and a scholarship to go to a unicersity. I ended up going to Europe and I spertt almost three years there studying Fine Arts. I wanted to be a gmphic artist ùnd I loced it. M y fiends haue always been arts? people, and th- haven't erer been professionals or anything like that.

But cchen I came back front Europe, I u7as rnotivated go into teaching because ecepone was telling me that I u~ould be poor, and that I'd be this and that if I chose to be an artist. T h q told me that r d suffer. So, I had to think about the skills that I had when I came back from Europe. I knetc hou to speak Spanish, and I Kas good at English so I ended up going to university and doing an undergraduate program in English and Spanish. I loved it. I loue reuding, xriting, poetp and things like that. It u7as something I enjoyed anyway.

I don't really k n o z u h y I became a teacher. I fell into it because I w m living in Quebec, and needed to make some extra monev, and one of the best ways to rnake mon- ut that time was to teach English. I got my first job, and I was teaching, and I did a terrible job, but that's how it started. Then it just escalated fiom there. It ulas something that once I started doing, I couldn't stop. Teaching seemed to work uith my lifestyle. I w a s always able to muke enough mon- doing it. I enjoyed doing it, and I eventually felt that I was very

good at it. So, I think that I am truly meant to be a teacher, but I just sort of fell into it.

Eoen though I have rny certt-ficate to teach in public schools, I have chosen to work in post-seconda. institutions. 1 prefer teaching adults in the college systern. I like the lchole professional atmosphere in the college ustem. I like the anonymity There seems to be less direct accountability to supervisors, principals, and department heads. In my job anyway, I just do what I do, and I am erduated euery so ofien to make sure that ïm doing it well. Other than that, rrn very independent as long as I follorü the cumculum, so I e n j o ~ that. And, there are no discipline problems like those that ?ou urould find in a public school.

rue thought a lot about career and career options and things rd like to do and ï c e tried different things. rue tried graphic design. I've tried, and rue thought a lot about broadcast media. I took a lot of art courses. rue tried acting once. I did al1 kinds of weird things always tr-ying to find that niche, that talent like Bndget was talking about and tp ing to find something that I would be reallv, really happy and passionate about. I really haven't found that. I actually don't think that I hare any talent and Tm trying to come to terms with that Ilaughing~. It's okay to not hare a talent and I'm really gruppling u~ith uqhat that all rneans and uhat does it mean to be happy in a job and that 's soTt of uhere Ike come. With my job I hace fantastic benefits, and a good uyorking encironment, you know I don't hace the same kind of clussroom management problems that a regular schoolteacher has. I don't hace a negative fellolc teaching staff enrironment I need to deal ulith, so I don7 have those negatirte things.

Lesley:

Many of the ulomen in my family are teachers. Igreul up hearing their stories, meeting their students, and participating in school events. Their professional liues aluays seemed challenging and rewarding at the same time. When I was punger, my mother lcould sornetimes take me to work with her. She taught Adult Education classes for the local college. I loved going to school with her to meet her students, her c o l l e a ~ e s and her support staff. As a result, my introduction into the life of a teacher was modeled for me rny mother, and by my aunts.

After finishing rny undergraduate degree in History, I had to figure out what I wanted to do with that. One of my fiends was teaching English as a Second

Language IESLI. He would alrcays share stories about his students. He learned about them and their cultures. This sounded uery appealing to me, so I started my B. Ed in Teaching ESL. After finishing that degree, I got jobs as an ESL instmctor. I loued my first teaching jobs, so I decided to go back to school to get another B. Ed. that would allow me to work for the public school -tem.

I don't knou, I guess I'rn doing what Fm doing because I come fion a family of teachers too, I mean I have teachers coming out of my ears, so I always rebelled agaznst becoming a teacher. It m a s the lust thing that I said I would do until the ce? end. 1 was in university for seven pars kicking and screaming, and y dad said, "You'd better watch it because one of these days you're going to graduate, and then cchat are you going to do?"

And. sure enough, seren years later 1 had an English degree, so 1 kept going to those career workshops uthere you can discover where your talents lie and uhat wu should do. Religious things came up al1 of the time for me. or physical labour jobs. so I could be a ditch digger or a priest basically Uaughing). M-be I should have combzned the two.

In the end, I decided to become a teacher. That's hou! I came to it . . . kicking and screaming, but then I found that I actually like it. At somepoints in my life, especial- tchen I ulas struggling to come up with what I w a s going to do, I thought a lot about creaticity and talent. I suppose that what I'm doing nocc satisfies me to enough of an extent. I get to read and write which is uhat I loue doing really. I suppose rue neuer had enough confidence to pursue more rcriting. h e taken ccriting courses but never creative writing, just English papers and that sort of thing. Pursuing creative writing u~ould be much more of a risk.

rue been teaching for 10 years, and rue found myself slotted into an academic route u'here rue been teaching English and literature courses. The teachers in the depaarnent were p u n g uhen I started working ut my school, and so all of a sudden I was teaching Literature 12 and Advanced Placement Literature Lcrnguage courses and so on. It's interesting because I always thought - niche was more at-risk kids. And reallv, those are the kids initial- that rue felt that rve had a heart for. But rue found myself in this position in my department rchere I have been teaching senior English for a while. At first, the challenge of doing these academic courses was interesting enough to keep me going to UBC on the weekends and doing research. I was uery keen about the content, and I

Iooed uwking uith my students. I just thought it taas great that the kids were motirated, and I got kids tcho had chosen to take these classes.

Commenl:

It was interesting to explore Our individual motivations for entering the teaching profession. According to King and Peart's (1992) research study, Teachers in Canada: their work and oualitv of life, an educator's reasons for entering the teaching profession are directly related to job satisfaction: "Teachers who had considered only teaching as a career were far more likely than teachers who had explored other career possibilities to be in the high [job] satisfaction group" (p. 104). It is important to keep this fact in mind when reading further quotations from Emily, the young woman whose family members advised her to find a "career" rather than pursue artistic endeavours. Her struggles with her teaching career may be a combination of the environment she works in and her own reasons for becoming a teacher.

Frus tra tions

During our discussion, we shared some of our frustrations with Our professional and personal lives. These concerns arose from the section of the "Entering the Gate" tool which, in part, asks participants to describe what they are angry about prior to completing the twelve week program { Bryan et al., 1998, p. xxi).

Because al1 of us in the group are teachers, some of the frustrations expressed in the following section document a sampling of the complexities facing teachers in today's society. These comments concern frustrations with educational systems and frustrations with our Iives outside of work.

Bridget:

I just finished my teaching degree and discovered that I don't like it. I don't uant a class of my ou1n. I don't want to be responsible for thirty kids. I also don 't uiant the hassle of dealing u~ith discipline problems, supentising recess breaks, dozng bus duty uvhile standing outside in the cold rain, and teaching seven différent subjects in two hundred days.

I like teaching at the college, but I don't know if I like teaching in the department îm teaching in.

I think that I hace to find another niche where I can stay teaching but be more energized about it. I rcant to be teaching something that I have more passion about because what ïrn not passionate about what Tm teaching right noul. 1 knolc that l'm good at it, I know I Knox my stufî, I really actually like my students a lot, but I get bored. I want to uncooer something else that I know how to do.

Emily:

I hacen't enjoyed rcorking in education c e p much. I found the entire teacher- training program at the unicersity to be a big hoax. I total- hated it. I hated the people. I hated the atmosphere. I hated everything there was to do with it. It was like a nightmare for me.

I xas a substitute teacher for a u M e before I got my job in one of the school districts. I uas reall-v sshll-shocked lchen I amsved at my school. It doesn't hace a supportire or collegial atmosphere there. I initial. tried to do the uthole staff room thing, and noua I don't even bother, I don't even go doun there. You never see me in the staff roorn. Instead, I spend man? of my lunch hours and breaks txith a feu people and we all stay in our classrooms. None of us goes doun to the staff room. 1 find that the uorkirtg atrnosphere is miserable. I don't like it at all.

I don? like uvhere ï m uorking right now. I'm aluays looking to leave. Last year, I tned al1 the time to get out. I was on the Intenet al1 the time looking for work else~here. This year ïm looking into becoming a flight attendant because I can get in with n p laquages. rue been looking into options about going into whatecer career I can get into that's language based.

I don't enjov the hours. I don't enjoy theprep time. I don2 feel a- obligations to do any extra-cumcular actiuities; therefore, I don't because I don7 feel that t h q are fair, so I don't do them. I f Tm not beingpaid for it, I don't want to do it. I ulant to be doing my thing. For example, I like to go home and paint. I don't uant ro hang out u i th teenagers on my spare time.

Also, I am experïencing the same thing that some of you have mentioned about the so-called need to stay in a good job where you get benefits, and get a regular paycheque and tuyelve uieeks of fper -r. Al1 those things are great, but Z'm bored.

I reflect on the English courses I teach and I think: "This isn't English to me, uhat Tm doing is not English." It's old school grammar. I feel like it is garbage. I can't stand doing it. I can't stand it. I guess the thing rcith me is that I don't really know if Tm eut out for the teachingprofession anyuTay. I don? have the dedication for it. I don't feel like students rule my uorld. I don't want them to rule my world. I want it to be work and that's it.

Lesley :

I hace been teaching for the past eight years, and I hace been teaching English as a Second Language IESL) for that uhole period of time. I was really excited about it at first. I was just looking ut pictures of myself last night during my first teaching job, and it uas incredible to see the expression on my face. The students looked happy, and I looked happy, and I guess that novelty has u70rn offi I don't knou ulhat it is. I don't knou uhether it's me that's changed. Or, I don't knou i f i f s because rny job is a lot different than it used to be, but ïrn just not feeling the same energy touard my career anymore.

For the past three years, I hace been ccorking as an ESL teacher in the Fraser Valley. My zorkload is ronderful, and the students are as interesting as ever, but I do not feel the same satisfaction with nty career that I used to feel. Nocc I open feel under challenged, and fmstrated ui th the system. For example, I find that it's r e p difficult for schools to implement change.

mat I hace is a little bit of boredom, soTt of doing the same thing over and over again and dealing ulith a subject that rrn not passionate about, so those are some of my fhîstrations. But, I don't feel really prepared to give up the job I have right nocc [teaching at a college] because I think it's a really rare situation to hace four months off a year and to make a good sala- for tuielve months a vear.

About three years ago I started thin king, that the high school cumkulurn, at some point, exhausts itself and it's no longer academically challenging for me personally. I lost interest that way because don't fïnd that part of rny job challenging an? more. I guess there is a sense of boredom setting in.

Mu work encironment has changed a lot too. I used to work a great group of people. It felt like I uas just going to hang out with my fnends eue- day. There u7ere probably four or fire of us uiho were all hired in the same year. It was just great. It is so easy when you have great colleagues. Nou: al1 those people. except for one, hace gone from the school. So h t in my classroom all the time. I don't really venture out, I mean it feels like 1 need to go see somebody to talk to ut lunch and it's a conscious thing because people generally just hang out at our school. They don't go to the staff room, they're v e y much people who stay in their rooms. So the work encironment is okay, it does feel very much just like a job. and rm not ce- excited about going to school every day.

The topic of our individual fmstrations with teaching assignments arose in our discussion. These fnistrations were explored because we needed to establish where we were at the beginning of the program outlined in The Artist's Wav at Work (Bryan et al., 1998). One participant, Emily, expresses very specific and deep fnistrations with her working environment. Other participants express a feeling of "boredom" and lack of challenge with the subject material being taught.

Brown and Moffett's ( 1999 text The Hero's Journev: How Educators Can Transforrn Schools and Im~rove Leamine;. suggests that:

Schools in the midst of chaos and complexity of their joumeys need to confront the darker side of their organizations. They must squarely face the parts of themselves about which they are in denial . .. For organizationai growth to occur, tmth telling about the organization's reality needs to occur . . . In effect, no heroic journey can begin without the phenornena that embody the "dark side." Chaos and complexity are the wake-up cal1 that challenges us to quest for new, creative, and more collaborative approaches to realizing our personal and çhared visions for education (p. 60).

If exploring the "dark side" of school environments sets the stage or organizational growth and improvernent, then the same must be true for individuals working withîn those organizations. Understanding and recognizing our emotions prepared us for the introspective weeks to follow.

My only regret is that we did not take the time to discuss the aspects of our jobs and lives that we were happy with at this meeting.

An important part of our discussion was the expression of our fears regarding embarking on this project. Sharing Our fears and/or questions about ourselves was important for each of us to articulate because these fears illustrate our underlying reasons for doing the program outlined in The Artist's Way at Work (Bryan et al., 1998 ).

Do 1 have any unique talents? Am 1 a creative person? What w i l l I learn through t his process?

Bridget

I think teachingprobabb is uhere I uill continue to work. I'ZI stay somewhere in the field of education, but I think thut there's just something else that I could do thar I would be more productive, be better ut, and be more passionate about. But, my fear is that no, that I won't find a talent. I won't find anything at all. That's my fear.

I guess my fear with this whole thing is . . . l'm afraid that I'm going to realZy start hating work, cause 1 don't enjoy it nocü anywuy. I mean I enjoy it in the Little things are fin. You knoic, finny things students do d ~ n n g the day. I don't hate them and I don't hate anybody on staff. 1 just don? enjoy being there.

1 discovered that people are not really afraid of dying; they're afraid of not ever having lived, not ever having deeply considered their life's higher purpose, and not ever having stepped into that purpose and at least tried to make a difference in this world (Jaworski, 1998, p. 34).

Acknowledging and articulating our fears encourages us to learn new information about ourselves. Although preparing to go on a journey of self- discovery is a daunting and fearful task, it is important because:

To cope with a changing world, an entity must develop the capability of shifting and changing, of developing new skills and attitudes: in short the capability of learning . . . the essence of learning is the ability to manage change by changing yourself -- as much for people when they grow up as for companies when they live through turmoil (de Geus, 1997, p. 20 j .

The women in this research project are attempting to answer the following questions: "How cm we lead ourselves better?" and 'Iirhat changes do we need to make in our lives?" We were al: feeling sornewhat fmstrated by our careers in the fieid of education. Therefore, it will be useful for Our group to explore opportunities for growth available to us after having completing the program outlined in The Artist's W ~ Y at Work: Riding the Dragon (Bryan et al., 1998,.

In the end. we will al1 have greater self-awareness. We will have also established a support group of women who know and understand the problems we are dealing with.

Bridget

For me this u~hole program is "Oka?, u h t am I good at? What do I Iike?" I don? ecen know. I don't even know where to begin, right? I honestly don't know. So, Tm Zooking at Ernily and saying, "lt must be great to go home and paint." For example, I liue by myself note, and Fm honestly embamussed sitting alone trying to draw a picture. It shouldn't be that ~uuy. I wish I could find something that I am talented at.

I feel like I don't know if I huoe a talent and I want to find a talent. That's my hope, that I find something that I'm really good at. Muybe, l'Il discowr that teaching is "it" for me. I f that's it, then that's okay and Tll haw to commit rnyself to pursue it firther so that 1 become more interested in it again.

Emily:

ïrn looking to cornpletely leare the profession. My hope for this thing is that I get a clear picture of u7hat I do want to do. I hope that I am able to formulate steps toicards getting to that goal. Maybe ecen leacing languages completeZy and going cornpletely into fine arts again. I don? know. But al1 I know is that ï m noi satisfied right nou.. That's all I know, and I hope to find a source of satisfaction in my life.

Jane:

What I'm hoping is that ï I l be able to Fnd something to augment the job I hare that I can do during my four months ofprofessional developrnent time. ïrn hoping to hace it d l , the security, the benefits, the pension, whatever o u need to be cornfortable in the u d d , but also have thut creatice outlet. There's so much ~ o r h that ecepone expects us to do. It's just becorningpart of life. Ecepone is expected to do al1 this work and I dont want to do that. I don't want to work untzl rrn 6 5 y a r s old. And, ïm a b i d that i f I do find something I realZy like, I ~ i l l work until I'm 65.

I guess uhat rm really interested in my life is having balance in work, spirituality, play and creative outlets. Also 1 know one of the things 1 need is security -- financial secun'ty and job security. I want to be able to find balance with all of those things and to be happy in al1 ways. MF stmggle and search for this balance seems like rue spent a lot of time trying to find the perfect job. NOU rrn at the stage of ulondering, do we need the perfect job? Muybe rve been askzng the uTrong questions. What is rny perfect job? Maybe I need to ask, what is the perfect lifestyle or uihat is the perfect way to balance everything? So, Tm hoping this book will help me answer some of those questions.

Lesley:

I chose to pursue a Master's program a feu1 years ago because I uanted to do something that would gice me more options than teaching. I wasn't sure what I realZy uanted to do, but I kneu, that I didn't want to focus on teaching ESL. I thought that taking a M.Ed. program would narrout my carrer options too much. I found this program called a Master of Arts in hadership and Training [MALT] aduertised in the neuvspaper it ulas talking about things that sounded interesting to me. It is a program focusing on leadership skills, team building, problem-based learning and using technology in the uorkplace.

I thought that it sounded perfect. This program could be a way for me to learn about different career options, meet interesting people, and gain insights into my own strengths and weaknesses in the field of leadership. A big component of the program is a major project i n your second y a r . Theoretically, you're supposed to do your project based on your workplace. I was feeling hesitant to do that because rm not dedicated to my workplace.

This past Spring when I uqas taking courses on-line and t p i n g to figure out uhat i nqu ip 1 u m t e d to pursue for my research project. I went to the bookstore and I sau. this book [The Artist's Wav at Workl, and I kneu that I had found an ansrcer. That's uhat I rcant to do. I uant to figure out ulhat I uant to do lcith the rest of my life. I thought, I should be myproject because this is realZy why I uanted to do this program.

So, this is rchat I'm hoping u.ill happen throughout the course of these twelue ueeks and beyund. I uant to get a better understanding of what I really want to do. M a ~ b e it u d l motioate me to be a better temher in rny current job. It ma? teach me some creative techniques that I can use with my students so that I feel better about being uihere I am and stay there possibly However, my true hope I think it to identifv a different path I can take. It may be a path that's related to the one I'm on nolc, or it may be something different. That's what I'm hoping.

Margaret

Tm definiteh at loose ends u i th where I want to go with my career. So I feel that I either haue to create my ouln challenges or find other things in my life that I find reuwding and challenging. I also hoping to achieve the balance that Jane ulas talking about.

I suppose 1 also don't knocc where my true talent lies. As a child, I was aluqvs pushed to do things that are more athletic. My older brother was the academic and I was the athlete. That's something that you just do. I guess it's not really something that I utould consider a talent. I think 1 need to explore outside of traditional areas that I have been thinking of in terms of a career, or just making money.

The tchole idea of hacing a job with benefits and al1 that, 1 really could care less. I'ce nerer been hung up on the idea that rue got to hang onto this job because it has this and this and this in place. I don't reallv care, and Pm quite happy to lice in a one-room place as long as I can eat.

I need to fmd something that helps me grou: personal-, holds my interest, and forces me to think creaticely. For example, I've never had enough confidence to pursue more writing. I're taken writing courses but never creatiue wn'ting, just English papers and that sort of thing. Pursuing creative writing would be much more of a risk. And, I feel like I am ready to take that n'sk.

Comments:

I t has been said that you cannot give what you do not have, but it is also tme that you cannot keep what you have without giving it away. Together, teaching and learning are the sou1 of creativity. Our creative vitality arises from our generosity as teachers coupled with our humility as learners. The two cannot be separated; they are the very heartbeat of the creative self (Bryan et al., 1998, p. 157).

The comments regarding our hopes summarise our motivations for participating in this research study. Our overall purpose is to achieve a deeper level of self-awareness in order to understand the rolecs) we play within our environments. The hopes shared above are legitimised by Pearson ( 1989) :

Becoming heroic means having attained a strong sense of self, an enlarged identity. We know who we are, what we stand for, and why we are here. We become fearlessly open with Our values and beliefs. Our life feels authentic to ourselves and to others. Gradually others become drawn to us, and our vision spreads .. As we begin to put ourselves out there and be seen.. . we attract to us people like ourselves who want to live in the same kind of transforrned kingdom (p. 152).

The reflective practices we undertake throughout this project will not only be of benefit to the participants, but also to those people and organizations we corne in contact with on a daily basis.

Using The Artist's Wav at Work: Ridinq the Draaon (Bryan et al., f998)

Between the first learning circle and the final learning circle, al1 members in the research sttudy actively participated in the twelve-week program outlined in The k t i s t ' s Wav at Work i Bryan et al., 1998,. Each of us completed the reading of the text and the tools within the text independently. Then, we would meet as a group to discuss our findings and experiences on Thursday evenings from October 2000 to Febniary 2001, and each meeting laçted for approximately two hours. The content of these meetings was not recorded as data for the purposes of this research project.

These meetings were held in the homes of the participants. We took turns facilitating the discussions to share the responsibility of the process. As a general framework, we followed the discussion questions listed in the "check-in" section at the end of each chapter.

Members of our group found the following tools and concepts from The Artist's Wav at Work tBryan et al., 1998) to be particularly effective or interesting:

Morning Pages ip.4) Inner Mentor (p. 16 > Time-outs (p. 29) Laugh or Lament (p. 213, Synchronicity (p. 55)

Definitions and samples of these tools and concepts have been included in this section [a complete list of the chapter headings and the tools within these chapters has been included in Appendiv Dl.

Morning Pages

The morning pages are one of the central tools suggested in the program outlined in this book. Participants are asked to write three pages of long-hand journal entries as won as they wake up each moming. The morning pages are "about everything and anything that cornes into your mind as you write" (Bryan et al., 1998, p.4). This free-

writing approach allows you to express your thoughts without editing them They are not to be shared with anyone.

The morning pages are introduced in the opening chapter of the book, and are discussed at the end of each chapter from that point fonvard. Here is a sample of some of my persona1 morning pages. The information presented in this example was written during Week 5 of the process:

Tm ce- concerned about u*hat's been happening in schools these days. Short- afler our school lost a student to suicide, another student was beaten to death on school grounds in Alberta. I just found out that it was G.C., as student with FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) xho ulas a student at our school last year.

G. had so much fun on our field-trip to Grouse Mountain last Spring. He put on a pair ofsnoushoes, started to run, and didn't stop running all da?. He uas laughing, smiling and rolling around in the snou7. ItS ce. sad to knou that he's no longer living. Hou, did this happen? W ' did this happen?

Schools should be a place uhere students can be safe. HOU' can we help them learn and grow when th- are afiaid to come to school? Hou* can u*e protect them ? What could we hace done to sace these tu10 lives? What do u.e need to do to sare the lires of other students?

The morning pages were a helpful tool for each person involved in the twelve-week process. Despite the fact that they are a major time comrnitment (thrty minutes a day as soon as you wake upi, 1 would recornmend this process to anyone interested in developing a greater self-awareness regarding personal and professional issues.

Inner Mentor

The Inner Mentor tool "encourages a supportive and nurturing f o m of inner dialogue" (Bryan et al., 1998, p. 16). The lnner Mentor represents a person's wise teacher. PaTticipants are asked to write themsekes a letter fiom their Inner Mentor's perspective.

The Inner Mentor is introduced in Week One, and it is referred to throughout the book.

Emily, the young teacher in our group who is highly dissatisfied with her career, found the "Inner Mentor" tool to be very helpful -- especially during the tirnes of stress she encountered at her workplace during Week Four.

The time-out tool is "about awakening our sense o f wonder. They are not about self- improcement" (Bryan et al., 1998, p. 29). Duting a tirne-out, participants are encouraged to do sornething t h e uqould not normally do on their ouyn. It could be a simple thing like changing ~ o u r normal routine, or it could be a creative endeavor. Anything is acceptable as long as you do it independently.

The time-out is introduced in the second week of the program. Participants are encouraged to take at least one tirne-out per week from that point on.

The tirne-outs were fun and challenging a t the same time. On one hand, they were fun because they gave us "permission" to do things we would not normally do. For example, 1 went to several art galleries by myself. On the other hand, they were challenging because it was sornetimes dificult to find the time to set aside for a time- out.

Laugh or Lament

The Laugh or Lament tool encourages participants to look at problems or circumstances from tuvo perspectives because: "We haue a choice about hou. ule experience life. In almost an? situation we can laugh or larnent" lBpan et al., 1998, p. 21 3).

This tool reminded me to look at both sides of issues. The program outlined in the book encouraged me to examine rny workplace in a way that 1 had not done before. 1 suddenly began to notice little things that bothered and concerned me. The Laugh or Lament tool helped me to realize that 1 cannot go around trying to fm every little problem. 1 have to let some things go, and just focus on the things that are within my realm of control.

Arthur Koestler defines 'synchronicity' as "the seemingly accidental meeting of tu70 unrelated casual chains in a coincidental event which appears both highly improbable and high- significant" Iqtd. in Jaworski, 1998, p. 185).

Bryan, Cameron and Allen (1 998) discuss synchronicity in their text. They state: "One of the most interestingphenornena of creative emergence is the fact that so many of our students report that as they become clear and plan and execute actions in thezr oun behalf, al1 sorts of "coincidences" seem to anse to help them along in their chosen direction (p. 55).

1 certainly encountered many "coincidences" throughout this research project. For example, when 1 started reading The Artist's Wav at Work (Bryan et al. 1998), I realized an interesting connection between the timing of my purchase and the content of the book. 1 bought this text from a downtown bookstore on the same day that Chinese New Year was being celebrated. It was the beginning of the 'Year of the Dragon" in the Chinese zodiac. The 'Year of the Dragon" occurs only once every twelve years. It is considered to be an especially "lucky" year, and, 'Tt is dso a good year for beginning new undertakings" t Suckling 2000, p. 2 1 ).

Interestingly, Bryan, Cameron and Allen < 1998) have also chosen to use the power and spirit of the dragon as the main symbol for The Artist's Wav at Work: Riding the Dragon ip. xv). The thirteenth-century painting "Nine Dragons," by Chen Rong, is used as the organizing metaphor for this book because: "The dragon's nine transformations in the painting have for centuries been interpreted as a symbolic representation of the enlightenrnent of Taoism's founder, Lao-tzu" (Bryan et al., 1998, p. XVL

The group of women in this research study chose to begin the "new undertaking" of exploring their persona1 and professional lives in the 'Year of the Dragon" using a book that uses the metaphor of "dragons" to symbolize power and creative spirit. As a final connection, our final meeting took place on the eve of the Chinese New Year.

The Final Learning Circle

As mentioned previously, the second half of my research data was collected in the "Final Learning Circle." This meeting took place on a cold and rainy Thursday night in February 2001 after Our group had been meeting regularly over a span of fifteen weeks. The purpose of this learning circle was to assess what we had learned about the process we had used, and about ourselves as individuah and professionals.

Because we had shared so much information with each other throughout the weekly discussion meetings, the tone and content of the fmal learning circle is much different than the first learning circle. Although we adhered to the basic premise of the covenants we had agreed to use for our circles fsee Appendix Cl, the dialogue shared in this circle is rnuch more casual, and filled with more inte jections and questions. This approach was very natural and cornfortable for us as a group, because it was the process we had followed during our regular Thursday evening meetings.

Our discussion focuses on how we felt about using the book The Artist's Wav at Work i Bryan et al., 1998,. On occasion participants cite specific "tools" (suggested activities) that were part of the program. The names of these tools are placed within double quotation marks, and shown in a bold font (the terms are explained in the previous section of this chapter i. In addition, we share personal insights gained within that time frame. Some of these insights may be directly attributed to the use of the tools in The Artist's Wav at Work (Bryan et al., 1998), whereas others may not.

In order to maintain the flow of this dialogue, I have chosen not to separate the participants' contributions according to themes (as I have done for the first leaming circle). Instead, 1 will present an edited transcription of our conversation as it occurred t hat evening.

Lesley:

Again, I would like to thank eueryone for coming. This has been a wonderfùl experience for me. I can't tell !ou how much I appreciate al2 of you giving up your Thursday nights for the past four months. I didn't realize how time consuming the whole process uould be with the "morning pages," the "tirne- outs," the meetings and the traveling. I am thankfùl to have hud the opportunity to get to knou each of you better, and I hope that you al2 got sornething out of it, too.

Tonight we're here to talk about where ule are compared to where we were fifteen weeks ago.

Some of the tools in the book [The Artist's Wav at Work] were r7ep good in terms of proüiding me with insight about myself that I didn't really have before. Th- helped me to explore different areas of my life in w a y that I had never done before. Hauing the book as a fkamework forced me to focus. Some tools, like the "morningpages," helped to put things at the front of my mind instead of a h a y shouing them to the back and waiting to see if t h q would reappear. I started obseming things in my workplace and in my general enaironment that I hadn't noticed before. I also became more aware of my feelings and emotions.

Houvever, I don't really think it ulas the book that was of greatest benefit to me throughout this process. Instead, I think that the best benefit for me uas just hacing regular group meetings. It gave me the sense of being part of a team again. I looked fomard to our discussions because I learned hou? to see the world through your c e s .

I sau: a speaker last Friday at the conference I went to and his closing remarks uere: "I f you're not outraged, you're not paying attention" (Norman 2001 1. 1 think that comment summarizes what rue gone through in the past tutelce weeks. ïi:e started to "pay attention" to my surrounds and my place uithin those surroundings.

Margaret

I think rd echo your sentiments in that it wasn't the book itself, but it was more getting together rcith al2 of p u . I really appreciated putting this as a pn'orit-y in my ueek, and I felt quite committed to the wholeprocess. 1 really enjoyed hearing about uhat kinds of things you thought about and talked about in the last week.

I don't think that the tools specifically seemed to be anything that helped to uncover layers about myself. A lot of the material was stuff that I had thought about before. But the process of talking about where we're ut was really good for me. I think, if an-ything, this whole tirne helped me become more personally au7are of who I am, how I am in the world, hou? I intermt with otherpeople and what I do. I notc have a completel? different leuel of awareness about where Tm at.

I don't knou uhat to attribute that au7areness to. There were all s o ~ t s of things going on in my life, but it's probably connected to this book in a way. This time is so conscious, and you know that p u have a set penod o f time.

Emily

Well, my goodness, in the last tuelve weeks my life has changed radicaliy. I decided that I don't want to be a teacher in the public school system in Canada any more. I probabZy rcon't ever return to teaching unless things change in the systern. I don't want to work in the systern because I don? agree with almost everything about it right now. I think it's just backwards. I also think that the pay is too low for the work that we do. I realized that I do want to have certain luxuries in rny life und I feel that this profession won't lead me to those.

The "morning pages'' were ve- beneficial to me in the last little while because they helped me reaffrm what I was doing. Th- let me vent. When things were realZy, realZy hom'ble and hard, I UYLS wry diligent about doing them. rrn glud that I uTas during that time too. Th. helped me reassess my uhole life -- personal and professional.

I guess the tool that I liked the most utas the "lnner Mentor." I felt that it really tapped into my intuition. rue leamed to follou. my intuition more, and that was direct. through the book. Some of the tools rcere too directed at people working in corporate encironments. Others focused on things in the pmt that I wasn't really interested in exploring.

Ocerall, I found that the "morningpages" were the most irnportunt thing for me. I wish that I had gone on more "time-outs" too because I know that the times that I did do them. th- were important to me. Th- were a good experience. Th- helped me break through a few boundaries and that was hard for me -- especialZy because I was exhausted.

I was tired a lot throughout this t ine because of al2 of the stress at school and the situation that I went through. At times 1 felt like a hennit. It was hard for me to get out of the house. So it was nice to have the Thursday meetings as a "me" night with the group. It ulas great to get to know al1 of you, and in a way pu'ue helped me take on a new direction in life, and Fm v e q d a m a n t about pursuing it.

Bridget

My life hasnY changed quite as mdically as Ernily's, but 1 think over the tweloe weeks I made some Fm decisions that this book probably helped, or at least the "morningpuges" helped. I made the decision that I did not want to be a teacher in the public school -stem any more either. I uant to be working in the college systern. I knoui that I have to pursue a Master's degree, or find my niche into there somehow. I know that it will happen, because it has started happening already. Right nou1, opportunities are just coming to me uiithout me ecen looking for them -- uihich is interesting with al1 of the "synchronicity" dialogue in the book.

I feel like I have sudden- been able to make decisions that, in the past, I would hace had a lot more struggle uith. I would have been much more ineffective about making decisions, and 1 wouldn't have stuck to them. I know something has happenod, but I can't pinpoint it exact.. Maybe it is "rnorningpages" and just centing like you said. I had a lot of stufgoing on in rny head that I was probably pushzng to the side, not really acknowledging how much it w a s there. Then seeing it in print, day in and day out, 1 realized "something's not right here." Now I redite that I haoe to listen to myself and take more chances a bit more too.

Because of this process, I'm doing things that 1 wouldn't normally do, like running &y myself along the Sea Wall. I wouldn't haue done that twelue weeks ago. 1 uould hace made sure I had a fiend to go with. I feel like rue benefited in a good rcay creatiaely too. I made Christmas cards. I'w never done s tuf f like that before. I sudden- had this buming need to go out and buy art supplies. I made cards that I could cal1 my own and it's kind of a good feeling.

I feel like I have benefited fiom theses meetings. I haven't changed my job as drasticalZy as Ernilv, but things haue corne out of it and I know that something's happened to my perspectice.

Well, I think for me that this process h m been good. One of the things that I really Ziked about it is that was a really effective way to get through the book. I probabb own about tuenty self-help books, and Tve neuer read one completely until this one. So, I think it's a great format -- to do something like this in a study group. I think it's great how we've al1 been so committed to it. 1 don't

knocc if that's because it 's for your Master's degree and I didn't want to goof oft. but 1 do know that I uns also doing it for myself.

I would be really interested in trying this format again with a different book, like Julia Cameron's The Artist's Wav Kameron, 1992), or something else. Because, as a lot ofyou harle already said, this book in some ways wasn't aluays appropriate for us as teachers.

I really enjoyed the "morningpages" -- ecen though I didn't do them religiously. Hourever, I did do them quite open and th- were v e g good for me. It ulas very good reading them ouer again. It's very surprising what you write at seren o'clock in the morning, half-asleep. And, I think the "tirne-out" was wry good for me as utell. Although I didn't do them al1 the time, I was really fascinated by the fact that they ccere so hard to do. It should be fun, it should be easy, and it should be something that you just do because it's forou. It's supposed to be something that p u really like to do. r d really like to continue doing them.

And, as for nyv work, I think the book did have sorne really good ideas about making the work encironment a better place. . I like the idea ofjust making the enrironment better and make it so it's more my olcn space. The relationship building seemed good, but it didn't really apply to my teaching situation.

So, it's been good. Thank you, d l .

Lesley

It's interesting, the tone of this Iearning circle compared to the tone of the Frst one. The Frst one had so much energ?, tension and fmstration. This one seems very calm, and relaxed. Iguess a bigpart of thut is that we have spent so much tzme talking ui th euch other over the past three months. We've gotten to know each other well, and we'rte dealt with many our emotions by going through the process. We'üe let stuff go through the twelue weeks.

I know I have. That one tool called "luugh or &ment1' hm become my new mantra. What can I do? I can laugh or lament. And like Bridget, it h w given me permission to do things that I wouldn't n o n a l l y do in the workpkrce and outside of the workplace. I've become more assertive because I became more confident in my opinions.

Afler reading my "morningpages," I realized that i f I keep feeling the same things repeutedly, then these things must be valid. Now I know that my opinions matter and I need to express them more oflen. I don't think that I really valued that before. I think that this process h m strengthened my voice, and it has strengthened my determination to find a different ulay to work.

I have discovered that there are many good things about my job and my position. I am passionate about education. Houever, I didn't recognize the passion before, because I uas blinded by the frustration I was experiencing.

I find that np uiorkplace open stipes people's voices, people have to con fonn to a certain ideal and ule're not gicen many opportunities to express ourselves creaticely or to implement change. There's no eaqv wqv to implement change, and a lot of change is needed.

Emily

I agree with your sentiments. The public school system is c e p stifling and confïning for me. Tve necer felt so uncreative in my entire life as I did uhile uorking at my school -- and r d like to consider myself a creatzce person. I feel things have to change dramatically in that area. There has to be more encouragement of creativity

I uas nliserable at my school. I felt like I was caged in. I felt negative al1 the time. I couldn't stand listening to myself any more. I think I said that at the c e p beginning, but I couldn't euen stand listening to myself complaining in my ou1n head anymore. I don? plan to go back there again for a ufhile. It's such an unhappy place, rea& disjointed.

This course really helped me come to that conclusion more f imly in my head because I uas ~cacering all the time. I was scared all the time. I was afiaid of ruining myself financially. I was afraid of mining my career. I realized that my career ujon't be ruined, and I won't die financially either.

Don't get me ulrong, r m thankfil for the skills that I have as a teucher. I can always use these skills in other areas. Fm actually hoping to branch off with rny skills as a language, but go off in a different direction. In f u t , r d like to pick up more languages. I'rn planning to enroll in a Mandarin course quite soon. rue gone autay fi-om the artist thing, and now Tm more into the language area. I uns thinking of going to aTt school, but nom Fm thinking languages. HOU can I use those in a different way? This book helped me discover those feelings.

Jane

I find that as a teacher, and it must be a différence between the college system and the public system, but I do feel a lot of fieedorn in my work. Yeah, I do have a curriculum that 1 have to follow, but for me it's aery loose. I just close my classroom door, and no one knows what I'm doing in there. And I just do my thing. Does that not happen in the school system so much ? Do p u have to ansixer to people?

Emily

There are lots of politics involved. ïm tired of the politics.

Bridget

The college system is quite nice because I find pu're much more autonomous. You're dealing uzth your students, and p u r students are adults. You treat them like adults and th- treat ?ou txith respect like and adult. You're not dealing with their parents. You're not dealing with fights between students.

You hace to realize that there are politics everywhere, but the issues are different. In the college system, you have your meeting with your department errer so oflen just to catch up with what's going on, but I don't find it nearly as stressful as the public school. I'm not stressed being at my college job. I wish the hours were public school hours, but that's my on- cornplaint.

Eceryone seemed to benefit tom doing the "morningpages." Do you think that you will continue doing them ?

Bridget

ï 1 1 try, but not e r e ~ d a y . I don't think I could do them eue- day. I think that now that 1 know hout much t h q help me focus, and clarify the circus going on in my head, that Tl2 t u m to them uhen I need thern. I uon't be a da ib thing, but I think that there ~ z l l be tintes when rll feel agitated and I won't know why and TlZ sit dorcn and start wn'ting and th- will kind of ground me a bit.

Margaret

l'nt going to recel in not getting up at fice in the morning to do them.

Comments:

The final learning circle was an opportunity for us to reflect back upon the previous three months together as a group. Even though this sounds like a relatively short period of time, some very significant things (such as career changes) took place for some research participants.

Not everyone experienced dramatic results, but everyone did enjoy the process. The following section discusses the theme of "working as a group" as it relates to the participants in this research study, and it includes references from literature encouraging women's support groups.

Working as a group

"If women talk to each other, then what looks like individual choices actually becomes a value system. The changes we make in our lives become part of something greater than the sum of the parts. Only in this way c m we transform and enlarge our definition of success" iMcKenna 1995, p. 199).

Each participant in this research study concluded that working through this text as a group enriched our experiences. The weekly meetings enabled us to motivate one another, support one another, and learn from one another. The following quotations from the final learning circle illustrate this conclusion:

. . . I don't really think it u?as the book that ulas of greatest benefit to me throughout this process. Instead, I think that the most significant benefit for me uas just hacing regular group meetings. It gave me the sense of being part of a team again. I looked foward to our discussions because I leamed hou to sce the world through your q e s

Margaret:

. . . it ufasn't the book itself, but it uTas more getting together with all of?ou. I reallv appreciated putting this as a priority in my week, and I felt quite committed to the whole process. I really enjoyed hearing about what kinds of things y u thought about and talked about in the last week.

I wus tired a lot throughout this time because of al2 of the stress at school and the situation that I went through. At times 1 felt like a h e n i t . It was hard for

me to get out of the house. So it was nice to have the T h u r s d a ~ meetings as a "me" night with the group. It was great to get to knou al[ o f o u , and in a uay you'ce helped me take on a neu7 direction in life, and Tm very adamant about pursuing it.

Bridget:

I feel like 1 hace benefited front theses meetings. I haven't changed rny job as drastically as Emily, but things hare corne out of it and I knou* that something's happened to rrq~ perspectice

Jane:

[It] was a realZy effective uTay to get through the book. IprobabZy oicn about tulenty self-help books, and rue ner7er read one completeh until this one. So, I think itk a great format -- to do sornething like this in a study group. I think it's great horc ue'ce all been so cornmztted to it.

Comments:

The success of our group process while working through the twelve week program outlined in The Artist's Wav at Work (Bryan et al., 1998) can be attributed, in part, to the fact t hat each of us was a willing participant in this inquiry.

Another reason for the success of our group process is summarized by McKenna (1997):

. . . having a community is the only way women are going to feel cornfortable making the changes they have to make in their lives for balance and harmony. For women to start bringing what is important to them to bear on their work worlds, they have to feel it's d e to do so, and the only way to feel d e (and not crazy to boot) is by having people around them who reinforce what they're doing (p. 196).

Our "communit~" maintained regular contact for over three months. This tirne together allowed us to reveal what each of us holds as important as individuals. The confidentiality of Our group provided a "safe" environment for us to explore the relationship between Our personal lives and Our work lives.

Summary:

The first and final learning circleç provided a pre-assessrnent and poçt-assessrnent of the research participants who were trying to answer these questions:

What effect àoes the twelue-week program outlined in The Artist's Wav at Work: Ridinio the Dragon have on young female teachers who are trying to discover their true professional callings and pussions P

1 How can we lead ourselues better? ;i What changes do we need to make in our lives?

The following chart ( Table 4.1 ) summarizes each participants contributions during the leming circles:

Table 4.1: Summary of First Learning Circle and Final Learning Circle / Particzpant First Leaming Circle Final Learning Czrcle l l

/ Pseu donym October 12,2000 i I

1 Bridget doesn't like working in made firm decisions about l

1 I elementary schools personal and professional life '

wants to be more passionate decided to focus on teaching in about subject material the college system rather than i sometimes bored with job in the public school system

, afraid she won't identify any benefited creatively from 1 talents taking more risks I

fmstrated with working environment dislikes extra-curricular responsibilities does not like having to teach in a certain way not dedicated to teaching or to students afraid that she's going to dislike work even more hopes to leave the teaching profession

decided to quit the teaching ~ profession and pursue other interests I

the weekly meetings and the j

tools in the book helped her i through some difficult personal 1 and professional times I I

learned to folow intuition ,

more I

1 1 1

I : Jane bored with subject area enjoyed completing the book ! 1 enjoys working conditions and using a group process 1 l benefits of her teaching liked the insights gained about 1

assignment herself through the morning ! hopes to find something to Pages I augment her current job appreciates the job she

! I 1

I 1 currently has l

i Lesley l

lacking job satisfaction used to gained insight about self have enjoyed the group process feel under-challenged with found validity and subject material strengthened voice frustrated with the system's uncovered passion for inability to implement change education &raid of "burning out" and being unhappy a t work

l Participant First Leaming Circle Final Leaming Circle l

Pseudonyrn October 12,2000 Januay 25,2001 I

: I i

1

/ Margaret missing collegiality she once maintained a cornmitment to 1 had the process I

I no longer academically enjoyed working with the i I challenged by course content FOUP

I

I l afraid she won't uncover any became more personally aware l

1 creativity of the roles she plays and how , I I hopes to create her own she interacts with others I 1 challenges I

Study Conclusions

As the title of this project i Listening and Learning: Exploring Female Teachers' Experiences suggests. the main conclusion of this research project is that more attention should be given to the lives of female teachers inside and outside of the classroorn. We leamed about ourselves and others by participating in an introspective and communicative program. As a result of this process, we gained insights that will ultimately be of benefit to the organizations we work for, and for the students we work with on a daily basis.

The study conclusions are organized into four major sections:

1. What did 1 learn as a researcher? 2. m a t did 1 learn as a teacher? 3. What would 1 do differently next tirne? 4. Study recommendations.

What did I learn as a researcher?

My research questions were the direct result of my own fmstrations with my teaching career. 1 hoped to ident3y a different career path by embarking on this quest. 1 had never tried using a book like The Artist's Way at Work (Bryan et al., 19981, but was keen to try it out with the support of some of my friends and

colleagues. After completing the process, 1 have some answers to the research questions. These conclusions are presented in bulleted lists.

What effect does the twelve-week program outlined in The Art is t 's Wav ut Work: Riding the Dragon have on young fetnale teachers who are trying to discover their true professional callings and passions?

It provides opportunities for open dialogue about the complexities of today's workplace. The weekly meetings allowed us to support each other and leam from each other. Some participants realized that they needed to make important career decisions. It was an easy format to use. The book was clearly laid out, and the material was presented clearly.

How can we lead ourselues better? What changes do we need to make in our lives?

0 We can articulate our frustrations and concerns. We can seek out opportunities for persona1 and professional growth. We can identify changes that need to be made, and take the necessary steps to make those changes corne to fruition. We can help and support each other by working in teams. We can strive for balance in our lives.

What would I do differently next time?

If I were working with a group of teachers again, 1 would choose a different text as the primary tool for the meetings. The Artist'ç Wav at Work (Bryan et al., 1998) had some very pûsitive benefits. However, many of the sample stories and suggested activities are designed for people who work in corporate environments. Business environments are very different from educational environments.

What did l learn as a teacher?

1 realized that 1 am passionate about learning and teaching. I need to create more opportunities for dialogue and growth within my work environment if I want be an effective member of a teaching staff.

This research process also helped me to clarify what rny own personal philosophy of education has evolved into over the past few years. The following diagrams illustrate the relationship batween schools, teachers and students.

Schools, teachers and students have interdependent responsibilities and roles within the educational -stem. These three areas need to work together in order to ensure the success and viability of today's schools (see Figure 4.11.

Figure 4.1: The Interdependent Responsibilities Ik Roles of Schools, Teachers and Students for Succeu and Viability

Figures 4.2,4.3, and 4.4 outline some of the specific responsibilities and roles for schools, teachers and students within the public education system.

Responsibilities Schools of Schools

Figure 4.2:

provide a safe interact with

( Responsibilities of 1

/ [,,,] [T] [%zz] l,,,,,.,,.] \ teac hem

promote current thinking and provide access to

current technolog! methodulog

7

Roles && responsibiiities of the teacher

Roles and responsibilities of the

teacher

[guide)

[ Roles ]

mentor rn coach 1

supporter rn enabler 1

instructor 1 / encourager 1

planner u

f 1

Empower opportunities Promote success L A L / \ J

7 Roles and

Roles & responsibilities of the Responsibilities of the student student

J

cmbrace l l question oppo~unities

serk help when needed [ T l [ T I concepts

L- challenge self and

set goals 1

F

Grow opportunities Plan for the future \ \ / \

Sfudy Recommendations

An essential lesson learned through this process has been the power of communication. I think more educators shouid embark on their own reflective journeys. Professional developrnent time at schools should be devoted to fosterine

U

positive staff relations. 1 would recommend using a book called The Hero's Journev: How Educators Can Transform Schools and Im~rove Learninp (Brown & Moffett 1999). This book is designed specifically for:

. . . any member of an educational community -- teacher, principal, staff developer, district office adrninistrator, superintendent, professor of teacher education, parent, caregiver, or community member -- who wishes to gain insight, understanding, and a clear sense of purpose regarding the most appropriate direction for educational reform (p. ix).

If educators function as independent entities within school systems, then needed changes will never occur. Education ministries, school districts, principals, teachers and other staff members need to promote life-long learning for everyone involved. Learning takes place through open, honest and meaningful dialogue.

Chapter Five: Research Implications

Throughout this project 1 have examined the lives of five young female teachers exploring the following questions:

How can we lead ourselves better? What changes do we need to make to our lives?

Although the specific answers to these questions are different for each individual, the evidence provided in Chapter 4 supports the conclusion that the act of conscious and deliberate introspection is a worthwhile and beneficial undertaking.

For example, the findings of t h s research study have implications which could affect many layers of the educational system. In the following sections 1 will discuss the potential impact of these results upon: the participants of this study, other teachers, teacher-training facilities, schools and educational policy makers.

Researc h Participants

Each of us has learned the value of actively seeking out new opportunities for persona1 development. As a result, we have learned that we cannot just sit around and wait for change to happen. We need to share the tmths of who we are, what we feel, what we expect, and what we hope. By doing so, we c m improve the relationships we have with ourselves, and the relationships we have with others.

Other Teachers

Other teachers c m also benefit from these research results. A teacher's role within the educational sector is to be an advocate for the rights of students, and to be an advocate for the rights of employees within the system.

In order for us to successfdly implement needed changes, teachers need to corne together to build networks of support within school settings and within the community. We need to foster working environments that are collegial, supportive, and willing to change.

Teacher-training facilities

The conclusions drawn from this research study support the need for teacher- training facilities to provide their learners with opportunities to explore their own reasons for wanting to enter the teaching profession.

Specifically, 1 recommend that Vancouver Community College's Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages Diploma program should develop a work-shop designed to provide learners with accurate, current and applicable knowledge about the reality of teaching ESL in public and private institutions.

Future Research

The impact of this research study goes beyond the level of individual teachers. Why did three out of five research participants choose to discontinue working within the public education system? This topic demands attention -- especially in light of the projections regarding teacher supply and demand issues for the next few years. For exarnple, it is estimated that each year between 2004 and 2006 approximately 2,100 teachers will retire t BCTF, November 2000 1.

The British Columbia Teacher's Federation's (BCTF') (November 2000) produced a report entitled " Teacher Supply and Demand in British Columbia: Enhancing the Quality of Education: Attracting, Recmiting and Retaining the Best Teachers." This document lists eight factors that impact the number of teachers who will remain working within the public educational system. One of these factors is the attrition rate of current employees. Why do teachers decide to leave their jobs?

Approximately five hundred to seven hundred teachers leave their jobs per year, and, "a newer educator is far more likely to resign during the first few years of hisker career than an educator of the same age and sex who has b e n in the system for over three years" iTeacher Supply and Demand Cornmittee, March 1993, p. 11). There is no hard data examining the specific reasons for teachers choosing to resign from their teachingjobs. However, it has been acknowledged that:

Attrition is a major factor in the supply and demand picture. Reasons why teachers leave are many. Clearly inability to gain full-tirne continuing contract employment, low salaries, increasing workload, need for renewal, lack of professional support, desire to teach elsewhere

and employment opportunities in other fields or occupations are some of the obvious reasons t BCTF, November 2000).

Conclusion

This research project cites some specific examples of teachers' experiences within the context of our persona1 lives and within the educational system. More research should be done in this area -- especially with new teachers. Their stories, and those of experienced and satisfied teachers, need tu be told and heard in order to provide Our students with a quality education now and in the future. Administrators and policy makers need to listen to these voices, and respond accordingly.

Cha~ter Six: Lessons Learned

The only true voyage ... would be not to visit strange lands but to possess other eyes, to see the universe through the eyes of another,

of a hundred others, to see the hundred universes that each of them sees, that each of them is.

--Marcel Proust < trans. by Scott-Moncrieff & Kilrnartin, 1992-3, p. 343).

Proust's quotation as cited above ) summarizes the most significant insight 1 have gained through the completion of this project and my coursework at Royal Roads University. In order for me to make true discoveries about myself and my place in my environment, it is necessary for me to comprehend the cornplexities of my surroundings. I need to see the world as other people see it so that 1 can understand what role 1 play in that world.

With the generous participation of the people who helped me with this project, 1 was able to embark on a "true voyage" . . . a voyage of learning and understanding. They allowed me to see their worlds through their eyes. They shared their experiences, their knowledge, their emotions, their friendship, and their laughter. 1 am greatly indebted to them all.

While completing a Bachelor of Education in Teaching English as a Second Language in 1992, I was required to complete a thesis in order to graduate from the program. That thesis was essentially a thirty page review of literature. 1 managed to siog through the task and produce a satisfactory document. As a result of that experience, 1 assumed that 1 would be somewhat prepared to embark on the research project associated with the MALT program.

My assumptions, 1 quickiy leamed, were not entirely accurate. The process of applied research and being an active participant in the data collection provided me with a completely different perspective. In contrast to my experience nine years ago, this research project was full of life, energy and meaning for me. lnstead of deding with abstract concepts, I was now dealing with reality. The reality of being a teacher, a friend, and a member of a supportive group of incredible young women.

What have 1 learnzd from completing this project? Well, a better question might be: 'What havent 1 learned?." I c m now sympathize with my students when they complain about how their heads are spinning because they think that they are learning many new things in a very short period of t h e . However, I feel that my

learning has just begun. 1 am certain that 1 will continue learning lessons from this project and this program for many years to come.

Research Project Lessons Learned

1 remember telling a friend about my research idea at the beginning of last year. His response was, 'Will they let you do that? What kind of research project is that?" 'Why not?," 1 asked. 1 was on a legitimate quest, and I had followed the guidelines for research projects as taught to us in the Systematic Inquiry course: 1 had identified a problern, suggested a solution, proposed a method to implement that solution, and I was going to analyse the results. Most importantly, 1 predicted that this project would be manageable, and interesting enough to maintain my interest for the twelve months it would take from its inception to its completion.

However, there are many additional outcomes of this project that 1 had not predicted. These outcomes are the result of the dynamic of working closely with my research participants for an extended period of time. In total, we spent about thirty-five hours together, over a course of fifteen weeks. Because of the lengthy time span and the methodology used, many of the lessons learned by completing this research project can be categorized into the following areas: the courage to explore, trusting the process learning from others, and providing friendship and support. In addition, 1 also learned some insights about my own role as a researcher.

The Courage to Explore

1 feel that the research methodology 1 chose to use to collect data for this project was perfectly suited to the nature of the problems and questions 1 identified in Chapter One. The use of learning circles gave our group a chance to openly discuss our feelings regarding Our goals in our personal and professional lives. The circle format gave each of us an opportunity to speak, and an opportunity to listen.

The first learning circle was a chance for us to get to know each other on a completely different level. For example, during those two hours, 1 learned things about one of my friends that 1 had never known before (despite the fact that I have known her for the past six years). 1 dso gained a deeper understanding of all of the other members of the group. In addition, the leaming circle format gave me a chance to articulate things 1 had never openly expressed before.

We were al1 comforted by the ease of the experience, and we placed tmst in each other that everything that was shared was to remain confidential. This initial experience set the tone for the rest of our meetings together. Because the first learning circle was such a positive event, 1 feel it gave us the courage to explore topics of discussion in the weeks to follow. It was a catalyst for open and sincere dialogue.

Trusting the Process

Because of the time commitment and the scope of this research project, the participants initially had some valid questions and concerns. These were as follows:

What happens i f ule donit find an? ansuyers to the research questions by the end of the book 7

a

What happens if someone has to stop coming to the meetings because of other commitments ?

My response to these questions was that if those things were to happen. we would have to accept them. As a group, we had to tmst the process that we had agreed to use. The trepidation expressed was completely justified because 1 was the only member of the group who had previously experienced the use of learning circles for research purposes.

In the end, the process was somewhat successful. We were able to stay together throughout the entire process. However, 1 cannot honestly Say that we have ail of the answers we were looking for. But what I c m Say, is that each of us did leam new insights about ourselves and about each other.

Learning from Othen

As opposed to an anonymous survey or one-on-one interviews with research participants, the weekly discussion meetings and the leaniing circle format allowed rnembers of the group to imrnediately leam from one another. In essence, we were allowed "to see the universe through the eyes of another" (Proust as qtd. in Scott- Moncrieff et al., 1992-3, p. 343 ).

For example, it was always interesting to compare notes with each other during our Thursday night get-togethers. We found that certain tools were highly meaningful

for some individualç, yet those same tools may have been completely insignificant to others. Similarly, there were also occasions where participants had interpreted the tools differently, and as a result achieved completely different outcomes. We were always fascinated by these differences.

The use of learning circles allowed for an open and honest dialogue to take place. If 1 had used another form of research methodology to collect data, 1 think that my findings would have been very different. For example, if 1 had used written surveys, 1 feel that there would have been an increased tendency for participants to edit their thoughts. Allowing people to articulate their feelings was much more spontaneous and 1 think that this contributed to the impact of the participants' contributions.

The group process allowed al1 participants to learn from one another. In the end, everyone benefited. We found some answers to the questions asked at the beginning of this project. We did learn how to lead ourselves better. Some participants came to some very concrete conclusions about the direction they want to take in the future. We al1 gained knowledge through the process.

Working with this group of women was an enlightening and enjoyable experience. We came to rely on each other for support and encouragement. Many significant things happened to the group members during our time together. We were there for each other through the good times and bad. In fact, many of us expressed regret that the group meetings would be ending. Some of us have decided to join a book discussion club in order to maintain this contact with our peers.

Providing Friendship and Suppod

In addition to learning from each other, we also learned about each other. In the relatively short period of tirne, several significant things happened to members of our group. We had become very close with each other and felt cornfortable enough to share challenges, successes, and failures.

The confidentiality of our group allowed one research participant to openly express some of her fears and concerns regarding a very sensitive work-related issue. This issue had some very senous and on-going consequences for the participant, and we were able to provide her with some of the emotional support she required to help her through this crisis.

During the final learning circle we recognized some of the benefits of the group learning process. One of the consistent comments was that we were al1 going to miss

having weekly meetings. We had corne to rely on Thursday nights as a time when we could share personal things about Our personal and professional lives.

What changes could have improved the project?

Al1 in d l , 1 am very pleased with the results of the research project. 1 worked with a wonderful group of people, and 1 learned a great deal through the process. However, we did agree that there were some weaknesses with the book 1 chose to use as the framework.

Since al1 of us in the research group are teachers, one of the main cornplaints from the participants is that the examples given and the tools suggested in the book The Artist's Wav at Work: Ridine the Dragon (Bryan et al., 1998) were not always applicable to people working in the field of education. This text is geared toward people who are working in corporate environments. While some of the tools were insightful and useful, there were many that we al1 agreed were not meaningful to us. This process would be more effective if we had used materials specifically designed for educators.

Program Lessons Learned

On my first day of the MALT program in the surnmer of 1999 d l learners were asked to write down their feelings about finally being at Royal Ebads University. In addition to expressing the fact that 1 was very happy to be in Victoria, I was also one of the people who had written: "Should 1 be here?"

Despite the fact that 1 had been waiting to be a part of the program for over a year, 1 suddenly felt trepidation. 1 looked around the room and saw a group of people with enormous and valuable contributions in the field of leadership. 1 know that as a teacher, 1 am a leader to my students. However, 1 was beginning to question whether or not I was a leader in any other aspects of my life.

Fortunately, rny uneasiness at the beginning of the program quickIy faded as I formed relationships with the other leamers, explored the concepts taught to us through the courses, and completed this research project. Through these stages of learning and development, 1 came to realize that I am a leader. 1 am a leader in my school. I am a leader in my relationships. 1 am a leader of my own destiny. In fact,

each one of us is a leader. It is up to the individual to hone hisher skills and attitude in order to become an effectire leader.

Major Project Cornpetencies

I believe that 1 have demonstrated the following MALT program cornpetenciès through my coursework and research project at Royal Roads University:

lb. Demonstrate leadership characteristics

articulated scope and vision for the project recmited suitable research participants completed project within predicted time-frame explored an important and under-researched topic area

lc. Provide Leadership

held information sessions for research participants prior to data collection set time-frame for project encouraged group participation by selecting rotating facilitators for the weekly meetings synthesised al1 data, and grouped it according to themes

le. Recognize ethical considerations

al1 research participants signed a "Letter of Consent" <sec Appendix B) outlining the data collection methodology, and the storage and destruction of raw data materials protected the identity of the research participants by the use of pseudonyms

2b. Apply systems thinking to the solution of leadership and learning problems

analysed the complexities of working in today's schools provided diagrams illustrating the interdependence of schools, teachers, and students working together to achieve success and viability

3c. Create and Iead teams

worked with a team of four other teachers for a period of fifteen weeks held weekly meetings to discuss the progress of the project al1 mernbers of the team enjoyed the experience, and consequently formed a "Book Club" which continues to neet once a month

5a. Identify, locate and evaluate research fmdings.

themed data according to issues relevant to the lives of teachers inside and outside of the classroom setting incoporated research data gathered with supporting quotations from related academic research supported the need for additional research regarding women working in the field of education

5b. Use research methods to solve probiems

used learning circles to share voices of female teachers took extensive steps to answer the questions posed at the outset of the project by engaging in a fifteen week process gave each research participant an equal opportunity to contribute to the study maintained notes in a research log

7a. Interpret oral communication

provided opportunities for research participants to verbally express their hopes and concerns about their personal and professional lives as teachers synthesised data and presented findings thematically listened intently to al1 research participants received and responded to constmctive feedback from Faculty Advisor and Project Sponsor

7b. Communicate with others through writing

regularly communicated with research participants, Faculty Advisor, and Project Sponsor using written correspondence reflected daily in journal compiled research findings for Major Project

?da Use cornputers to facilitate communication

conducted on-line research for literature review helped peerç format Major Projects by providing technical assistance communicated with others using e-mail used computer to compile Major Project

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Appendices:

Appendix A: Sponsor Letter of Agreement

Appendix B: Participant Consent F o m

Appendix C: Covenants of Our learning circles

Appendix D: The Artist's Way at Work Chapter Headings and Tools

Appendix A: Letter of Agreement

Royal Roads University1 Vancouver Community College

LETIER OF AGREEMENT

Organization Participating in the Study Vancouver Community College 250 West Pender Street Vancouver, BC V6B IS9

Contact PersonlProject Sponsor Jennifer Pearson Tereli Senior Program Coordinator, TESOL Programs, Continuing Education,

Phone: 604-443-8483 FAX: 604-443-8393 E-mail: jpterell@ vcc.bc.ca

RRU Project LeaderlGraduate Student Lesley Hemsworth District ESL Specialist School District No. 75

Phone: 604-874-25 2 1 FAX: 604-826-8187 E-mail: lesley.hemsworth@ telus.net

RRU Faculty Supervisor Marilyn Hamilton, Ph.D. Royal Fbads University

Phone: 604-852-0566 FAX: 604-850-3003 E-mail: marilyn. hamilton@royalroads.ca

Roles and Responsibilities Lesiey Hemsworth and Jennifer Pearson Terell agree to participate in the successful completion of the proposed project and perform the roles and responsibilities identified in At tachen t A.

Project Description, Action Steps and Milestones The project goals, process and anticipated outcornes are described in the project proposal t See Attachment B). The project proposal highlights the activities to be completed, the study milestones and the involvement of the project participants. Project participants are not specifically Vancouver Community College employees.

Confidentiality Lesley Hemsworth agrees to honour individual and corporate coddentiality and non-diçclosure guidelines.

Project participants will be asked to formally acknowledge that the information they provide to the researcher will be handled in confidential and privileged rnanner, as described in the "RRU Guidelines for Conducting Research With Human Subjects".

Individual and group identity will not be disclosed to the Applied Practitioner or any other members of Vancouver Community College.

Intellectual Property Vancouver Community College agrees that the final project report and supporting materials will remain the intellectual property of the author (Lesley Hemsworth 1.

The commercial potential of ail products will be assessed upon completion of the project and if deemed necessary, mutually agreeable arrangements will be identified to exploit the product in the commercial marketplace.

Deliverables Lesley Hemsworth will provide Vancouver Community College a copy of the final project report. In addition, Lesley Hemsworth will provide formal briefings to individuals or groups identified by Jennifer Pearson Terell.

Company Cornmitment Vancouver Community College agrees to provide Lesley Hemsworth with the following support: access to relevant records or data, access to individuals and groups essential to the completion of the project and other items identsed throughout the conduct of the project.

Endorsement We, the undersigned agree to abide by the arrangements and statements contained in this letter of agreement.

Praject Sponsor Dated Graduate Student Dated

A-4

Attachment A

ROLES & RESPONSIBILITlES

PROJECT SPONSOR Assist candidates in identifjmg and articulating the problems or issues to be examined. Review and provide comments on the problem description and the implementation plan iproject proposal) for investigating the problem. Provide the resources, facilities, funds and personnel needed to support the successful completion of the project as described in the proposal. Where necessary, facilitate the timely collection of data. Review the project findings, conclusions and recommendations with the graduate candidates. Assess the completion of the competencies described in the candidates' project learning contract.

PROJECT LEADER/GRADUATE CANDIDA'I['E: In conjunction with the Project Sponsor and Faculty Supervisor, develop the problem or issue into a draft and final prospectus. In conjunction with the Faculty Supervisor, develop a project proposal. Complete the project, in accordance with the project proposal. Regularly communicate your project's progress to the Project Sponsor and Faculty Supervisor. Effectively lead the project and project team. Produce a draft and final project report, which conforms to the university and program guidelines.

Undertake regular consultations with candidates during completion of their major projects. Ensure that candidates apply rigorous research methodologies throughout their project completion. Review and provide comments on, al1 drafts of the project report produced by candidates. In consultation with other cornmittee mernbers, assess the completion of the competencies described in the candidates' project learning contract. Communicate the success or f d u r e of the candidate's major project report to the Program Director.

Appendix 8: Participant Consent F o m

Lesley Hemsworth 147 West 13th Avenue Vancouver, BC V5Y IV8

October 12,2000.

RE: LETTER OF FREE AND INFORMED CONSENT

Dear

Hello, fellow teacher. My Name is Lesley Hemsworth, and 1 am a graduate student at Royal Roads University in Victoria, BC. As part of my Master of Arts in Leadership aiid Training program, 1 am completing a major project called "Five Female Teachers Explorhg Their Careers."

You are invited to join me in this research project as a participant. The purpose of this research study is to give young female teachers an opportunity to openly discuss their careers with a group of their peers. The research group will explore areas such as identikng career frustrations, career goals, aspirations, and possibilities for career change. The group will use the twelve-week program outlined in the book The Artist's Way at Work: Riding the Dragon as the basis for our meetings.

Please read the following information outlining your rights as a research participant: (At the end of this document you will be asked to provide free and informed consent)

The overall purpose for this research study is to answer the following questions: What effect does the twelve-week program outlined in The Artist's Way at Work: Riding the Dragon have on young female teachers who are trying to discover their true professional callings and passions? How can we lead ourselves better? What changes do we need to make in our lives?.

This research study will take fifteen weeks to complete. However, data will only be collected from the research participants in weeks one and fifieen. The research will begin on a mutually agreed upon date in the beginning of October 2000.

The research methodology to be employed for this study is a form of "participatory action research" (PAR). PAR is a post-modern approach to gathering, analyzing and using data. Myself, and the four other research participants wil l engage in "learning circles." A learning circle is an example of a PAR vehicle whereby a researcher and

research participants collectively explore a problem or issue by openly verbalizing their thoughts and ideas to the research group. This open dialogue is recorded via audio and video cassette tapes. These tapes are then to be transcribed by the researcher. The data will be analyzed in order to capture the essence and importance of the participants' contributions.

Because of the unstructured nature of learning circles, personal and sensitive information may be shared with the members of the research group. Each research study participant must agree to withhold sharing personal information about other group members with outside parties.

Research participants have the right to decline being video-taped and/or having their voices recorded on audio tape. In such cases, hand-written documentation will be transcribed by the researcher dunng the learning circles.

Your identity as a research participant will be protected by the use of pseudonyms in the major project report. In addition, research participants' names will not appear on any research documentation. No other parties outside of the research group will have access to your name ! identity in order to protect your confidentiality and anonymity.

As a research participant, you have the right to refuse to participate in the group discussions, or completely withdraw from the study at any time. Your identity will remain protected upon withdrawing from the research study. Any data you had contributed to the study will not be used for the major project report.

The raw data gathered for the purposes of this research study (audio tapes, video tapes, and verbatirn transcripts of the learning circles) will be stored in a locked filing cabinet for a period of one year. After this period of time, the raw data will be destroyed.

The research results will be published as a major project and submitted to Royal Roads University. This major project will be housed in the Royal Roads University library, and will be accessible to readers over the Intemet after it has been released by the university. These research results may also be adapted for use in an article to be published in Realm magazine. Once the information is ready for publication a copy of the study will be mailed to your home address.

If you have any questions about this research study, please feel free to contact me by telephone at ( 604 874-25 11, or by e-mail at l e s le~ .hemsworthfi telus.net. My Faculty Supervisor for this project, Dr. Marilyn Hamilton, may be contacted by telephone at (604) 852-0566, or by e-mail at rnarilvn.hamilton@ro~alroads.ca.

Af'ter carefully reading ail of the above information, do you agree to give your free and informed consent in order to participate in the above research study?

. Y- - no (please check one)

Do you agree to being video-taped and having your voice recorded on audio tape, providing dl above mentioned conditions have been met and are strictly abided by?

- Yes - no ( please check one J

Your signature:

Dated:

Researcher's signature:

Dated:

Thank you,

Lesley Hemsworth, BA, B.Ed., B.Ed.

Appendix C: The Covenants o f Our Learning CNcles

Our covenant is our guardian and is updateable.

The circle is not about conversation, it is about putting your "self' into the centre.

The circle is about discernment not judgement.

Take responsibility for what you need or want from the circle.

Respect others in the circle.

Corne to the circle with an open heart and mind.

Speak to your own experiences.

We will use an object of significance to pass dong the circle and determine the speaker.

Speakers may choose to "pass" until they are ready to speak.

The speaker holds the fioor until she has finished speaking.

Silence is honoured and may be requested.

Allow tirne and place for check in and check out.

What happens in the circle stays in the circle.

Appendix D: Chapter Headings and Recommended 1001s from The Artist's Wav at Work: Riding the Dragon

Week 1: Emergence Morning Pages 5 Creative coÏleague Secret Selves Listening to the Chorus Inner Mentor Check-in Creativity Contract 20

Week 2: The Roar of Time-out 29 Awakening The Dialogue

Archaeology, Round One Archaeology, Round Two The Us and Them List Imaginary Lives Affirmations and Blurts Customized Affirmations Dumping the Albatros Walking Your Wisdom Check-in 49

Week 3: Soaring Secrets 53 Watching the Rapids Wish List Leadership Quiz Explore a Sacred Space 62 Secretly, I'd like to.. . 65 Watch the Picture Without the Sound 67 Filling the Form 69 Check-in 70

Week 4: The Abyss Admitting Our Emotions 76 Anger as a Map Metabolism Footholds for Optimism Countering Our Citics Tme Confessions Define Your Imer WaU Workaholism Quiz Bottom Line Signposts The 'Traudian Slip' Check-in 90

Week 5: Sur-uiving the Abyss Personal Accomting 96

Emotional Solvency 96 Counting L-ry Lapping Up Luxury Nasty Rules The Dream Account Explore Your Feelings Going to Take a Miracle Wondering Check-in 109

Week 6: The Pearl of Body English 114 Wisdorn At the Wheel of a New Machine 114

A Letter to the Self 117 Positive/Negative Poles 120 Media Depravation 124 Reconnecting the Dots: Detective Work 124 Beyond Price f 26 Meeting the Inner Rebel 126 Check-in 127

Week 7: Learning (und Being a Beginner 132 Teaching) The Jealousy Map

Creativity Quiz Feel, Think, Wish Getting Current The Hidden Resume Becoming Right-Sized Taking Note Nurturing Nutrients The Forest Environment 152 Check-in 154

Week 8: Teaching (und Roles 161 Learning) Biosketches

Family Functions Containment The Power Dance Unmasking Machiavelli Practicing the Present Mentor Magic Going Sane 'Dear Boss" Stopping the Spiral Releasing Resentments Check- in 191

Week 9: Owning Our Clearing Fear 195 Ambition Contacting Clark Kent 199

Local Color 201 The Resentment Resume 201 Blasting Through Blocks 202 Succeeding with Success 206 Framing Our Lives 207 Check-in 207

Week 1 O: Living with Positive Inventory 2 12 Passion Laugh or Lament 2 13

Box Seats 2 15 Heartbreak Hotel-Loss as a Lesson 220 The Net of Nurturing 224 Check-in 225

Week I l : The Ledge of Name Your Poison 232 Authenticify Creative U-turns 233

Ten-Minute Time-outs 235 Valuing our Values 236 The Ledge of Authenticity 237 Exercising Our Options 243 Creativity Centre 245 Choose a Spirit Mentor 247 Spirit Mentors 247 Check-in 248

Week 12: Resting in Tmsting Trust 253 Authen ticity Mining Our Mystery 256

Building a House 257 Succeeding at Success 259 Playing at Play 262 Every Picture Tells a Story 263 Gratitude 263 Check-in 264

Bryan, M., Cameron, J. and Allen, C. ( l998). The Artist's Wav at Work: Ridina the Dragon. New York: William M o ~ o w and Company, Inc. 280 pp. ISBNO-688-15788-2