NEW FORMAT! - Amazon Web...

Timing Your School Search.....PAGE 6

Recipe for Car Travel.....PAGE 25

Step Back and Let Your Kids Play.....PAGE 22

So You’ve Found the Perfect Nanny; Now What?.....PAGE 12

NEW FORMAT!

2 • Parent to Parent, Vol. 33, No. 1, 2013

Advancing creativity, innovation,and the development of lifelong

learners and leaders

telephone: 773.570.0730email: [email protected]: www.bennettday.org

OPENING IN CHICAGO - FALL 2014

npnparents.org • 3

PARENT TO PARENTJill Chukerman, Managing [email protected]

Peggy Fink, [email protected]

Ellie Ander, Advertising [email protected]

Sarah Cobb, Executive [email protected]

Melanie Schlachter, Associate Executive [email protected]

BJ Slusarczyk, Operations [email protected]

Parent to Parent contains articles and information straight from our NPN member community. For information about editorial submissions, email [email protected]; for advertising, email [email protected]. We look forward to hearing from you!

INSIDE THIS ISSUEOUR MISSIONConnecting a diverse community of families with the resources they need to navigate parenting in the city

From the Executive DirectorParents need to keep track of so much on any given day: how to pick the right doctor, what to pack for daycare, who to call when the nanny calls in sick, how to cure stuffy little noses, which is the best preschool, what to do on a rainy day—and the list goes on.

At NPN, our staff and volunteers are just like you, trying to find answers to these questions for our own families and yours. NPN has access to many incredible resources to bring you the best events and support, from pregnancy through the elementary years. Our newsletter Parent to Parent is a shining example of NPN’s 33+ years of experience and connections.

We are excited to share our reformulated newsletter! Three times each year, an issue will arrive by mail in your home to help you navigate all aspects of parenting:

• Learn: school search, transitions, experiences and fantastic activities

• Care: from child care to family wellness to work-life balance

• Play: what to do, where to go, recipes and how-to art projects

• Share: essays from parents about their personal parenting experiences

Thank you for being a part of our community. Please use this SPECIAL OFFER to share NPN with your friends and co-workers!

PARENT TO PARENT READERS CAN SAVE AND SHARE A SPECIAL $5 PROMO CODE FOR NEW, RENEWED AND GIFT MEMBERSHIPS!

USE CODE: P2PREADERS5OFF (ltd. supply)

Photo courtesy Sarah Cobb.

LEARN PLAYPlay Every Day .............................................. 20

Plan A Perfect Playground ....................... 21 (and Museum) Day in Chicago

Step Back and .............................................. 22 Let Your Kids Play

CARESHAREForgiving Yourself ...................................... 23

Finding the Right Pediatrician ................ 24 for You

Recipe for Safe, Fun and .......................... 25 Easy Car Travel

Divorced Parents: Making ....................... 26 the Most of a Parenting Schedule

Timing Your School Search: .......................6 Is it Ever Too Early (or Too Late)?

Choosing Preschool ......................................7 Instead of a Nanny

Selective Enrollment Elementary ..............8 Schools: The Process

The Real Dirt on Clean .............................. 10

So You’ve Found the.................................. 12 Perfect Nanny; Now What?

Got Lice? ........................................................ 15

Prepare Your Sitter and ............................ 17 Enjoy Date Night

NPN Volunteers ................................... 5

Social Snapshot ................................. 18

Upcoming Events .................. Back Cover

Vol. 33, No. 1, 2013


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NPN THANKS OUR VOLUNTEERS ClubsAndersonville-Edgewater ......................... Robin Brannigan/Diane Avraham/Dana WurzburgerLakeview .................................................................Christine Jordan/Miranda Byrd/Ekta PatelLincoln Park ................................................................................ Jennifer Ince/Aly NadwornyLincoln Square-North Center ..................................... Brigitta Dougherty/Jennifer MaconochieNear West-South Side.........................................................................Lisa Kulisek/Gina JoslinNorthwest Side..............................................................................................Diana ServatiusOld Town-Gold Coast ............................................................Mary McGraw/Meghan HawkinsRoscoe Village .................................................................................................. Aimee Barker South Side ...................................................................... Dani Brzozowski/Alleeshia WilliamsWest Town ..............................Marcie Wolbeck/Sonia Fernandes/Stephanie Stephen/Kelly FoxAdoption ................................................................................... Karen Malsom/Teresa HjerpeAsian .............................................................................................. .Jennifer Uson/Ying ZhanAttorney Moms ............................................................................................... Jennifer BauerBabies/Children with Medical Needs ..........................................................................Sarah B CORP2SAHM............................................................................................ Emily ReichenbachDads ............................................................................................................... Ian SmithdahlDevelopmental Differences .................................................. Ellen Sternweiler/Kandalyn HahnElementary School Parents ......................................................................... Bernadette PawlikGreen Parenting ..................................................................Ellen Sternweiler/Sherry PolachekHealthy Moms and Toddlers Playgroup ......................................................... Loralynne EvansMoms BYOB Dinner Club .....................................................................................Missy FotjikMoms in Business ................................................................Katherine McHenry/Jenny PerilloMoms’ Night Out ............................................................................................ Shawna GoelzMoms Over 35 ................................................................................ Marie Lona/Lisa MendellMultiples ..................................................Becky Reno/Melissa Manning/Michelle GauthreauxNew Moms Over 40 ........................... Sarah Squires-Doyle/Pamela Chianelli/Melissa Deroche

Parents of One ..................................................................................................Sally GregoryPreemies ............................................................................................................. Angela FollSame Sex Parents .......................................................................................... Angela DebelloSaturday Movies ................................................................................................Paige AnsehlSingle Parents ..................................................................................................Angela KezonWork from Home ................................................................. Amanda O’Brien/Sarah WenningWorking Moms .............................................................Rebekah Kohmescher/Amanda Wiley

ResourcesLegal Counselor ..............................................................................................Heather Varon

NPN Board of DirectorsPresident ............................................................... Kelly AhujaVice President .................................................... Alex GuzmanTreasurer ..............................................Laurie Bauman NelsonSecretary ......................................... Jennifer Guimond-QuigleyBoard Members.............................................Robin Brannigan Christine Jordan Marie Lona Cindy McCarthy Jessica Minahan Kristin Myers Victoria Nygren Kevin O’Brien


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• DETERMINE your neighborhood public school (http://cps.edu/Schools/Find_a_school/Pages/SchoolLocator.aspx). This is the only school you will NOT need to worry about in terms of deadlines or application forms; you can enroll anytime, year-round. Be aware that strong community involvement may affect how a school looks four years before your child arrives compared to the year he is ready to start Kindergarten!

• APPLY one year before the entry year. Don’t miss those application deadlines! Some are as early as Nov. 1 and others are rolling admissions. The CPS application window is typically October 1 to mid-December.

The earlier you start your research, the more time you have to get a handle on the types of schools available to you. If you start later, your field may be narrower, but rest assured, there will be options available. And if your initial school choice does not end up being a fit, there are opportunities to make changes at every grade. No matter when you start your search, following these basic steps will help keep you on task. Good luck!

Grace Lee Sawin and Carolyn Gold Aberman, with Ginger Hecht, are

co-founders of Chicago School GPS (ChiSchoolGPS.com), which helps

Chicago families navigate the often-confusing world of public and

private school searches, from preschool to high school, so they can arrive

at their school destination, no matter when they begin their journey.

THE EARLIER YOU START YOUR RESEARCH, THE MORE TIME YOU HAVE TO GET A HANDLE ON THE TYPES OF SCHOOLS AVAILABLE TO YOU.

TIMING YOUR SCHOOL SEARCH: IS IT EVER TOO EARLY (OR TOO LATE)? By Grace Lee Sawin and Carolyn Gold Aberman, Chicago School GPS, NPN members since 2003 & 2011

LEARN

Soon after parents grow accustomed to the routine of feedings, diaper changes and their baby’s cries comes the nagging question, “When should I worry about schools? Am I too early?” Or perhaps it has taken you a few years of sleep-deprived nights to establish a routine, you realize your baby is now a four-year-old, and you wonder, “How do I begin looking for a school? Am I too late?”

Fortunately Chicago’s breadth of public and private schools offer programs beginning at all ages with various entry points and application periods, so there will be options at any stage of your school search journey. The key is to prepare by following these basic steps:

• VISIT schools to help you decide the types you are interested in for your child. If you start during infancy (or before!), research teaching styles (Montessori, Waldorf, religious, magnet, Selective Enrollment, charter, etc.). If you start later (age three or older), your child’s emerging personality can help narrow your focus. Check out schools you have heard about or options located nearby. Newer schools are eager to grow and might be a good bet for families starting later. NPN’s School Directory is an indispensable tool for this step; it contains hundreds of public and private school listings, searchable by area. You can find information on open houses in the Directory (npnparents.org/schools) or at Chicago School GPS’s website (chischoolgps.com/Calendar.php). Dates continue through spring.

• Know your ENTRY POINTS. For any program, your best chance of acceptance is to apply when the most spaces are available, referred to as the “entry year.” Schools vary, but most preschool-only programs start at infancy or two years old, many private elementary schools start at three or four, and most public schools start at five.

• Know your REQUIREMENTS. Some schools require parent tours, playdates, tests, interviews and/or recommendations, while others need just your child’s name and address. Understand the application process for each school you are interested in. Photo courtesy Carolyn Gold Aberman.


Don’t get me wrong: Nannies are wonderful. My children had two great nannies. Nothing can beat the one-on-one attention a nanny can give, especially in the early years, when you need someone who can hold a child in the rocking chair for hours. But there comes a point when parents wonder whether it’s time for preschool.

“Preschool is all about socialization,” said Carla Goldberg, preschool director at Akiba-Schechter Jewish Day School. “It offers children a chance to bond with others and broadens their horizons.” Preschool offers children (and parents!) many opportunities:

Learning to bond with other adults. “Success in life often involves getting along with others,” commented Goldberg. “Learning to trust other adults and accepting guidance from them is an important step in learning to navigate the world.” My son, now in 7th grade, cited one of his preschool teachers in a recent Social Studies project when he had to list a mentor other than a family member. “Arun taught me to respect others,” he wrote.

Benefiting from what preschool teachers offer. One preschool teacher might be into song and dance, the next might be a chef, while another might be a gardener. Everyone has something different to offer, and there are more people at preschool to introduce children to fascinating pursuits.

Socializing with a diverse group of children. Preschool is a natural setting for your child to engage with different children he might not encounter on the playground. Learning to get along in a group, or talking with someone he hasn’t played with yet, are important prerequisites for school.

Experimenting with different art materials. How about a puffy paint mixture of glue and shaving cream to create a snowman on a table when there is no snow outside? Preschool classrooms feature recycle centers, writing stations, house corners, water tables, light boxes—all kinds of equipment that encourage exploration and build skills from the earliest age.

Exploring a topic in depth. A preschool class might do a unit on the rain forest or build a model solar system. Your child might present his findings on butterflies to his classmates. Such projects teach vital skills like categorizing information, comparing and contrasting, taking a survey and charting the results, making a hypothesis and drawing conclusions. Such in-depth and systemic learning cannot be accomplished only by visiting a museum.

EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO OFFER, AND THERE ARE MORE PEOPLE AT PRESCHOOL TO INTRODUCE CHILDREN TO FASCINATING PURSUITS.

TIMING YOUR SCHOOL SEARCH: IS IT EVER TOO EARLY (OR TOO LATE)? By Grace Lee Sawin and Carolyn Gold Aberman, Chicago School GPS, NPN members since 2003 & 2011

CHOOSING PRESCHOOL INSTEAD OF A NANNYBy Annette Gendler, NPN member since 2008

LEARN

Acquiring self-help skills. The regimen of a group environment fosters such skills as stashing hat and mittens in a cubby, putting on a coat alone, managing a lunch box and having lunch with others. Peer pressure also helps. Many a child has balked at using the potty at home, but when she sees classmates doing so, it’s a whole different thing.

Preschool also offers parents another resource in raising their child. I always found it helpful to see how my children functioned in relation to others and to have a preschool teacher’s insight into them. A preschool teacher can, for example, offer professional evaluation of your child that a nanny wouldn’t necessarily provide. A nanny is your employee, whereas a preschool teacher is independent and has worked with many children in your child’s age group. She can assess your child’s developmental progress and recommend next steps if needed.

“Preschool is the next step after life at home,” said Goldberg. “First grade teachers often say they can tell which kids went to preschool. They’ve mastered managing their clothes and supplies, and a classroom is a second home to them. With all that down, they are ready for the next step: school.”

Annette Gendler is a nonfiction writer and lives in Hyde Park with her

husband and three children. Visit her at annettegendler.com

Photo courtesy Annette Gendler.


explanation you are comfortable with. Prepare your child to separate from you on test day; it can be scary to leave with a stranger! For kindergarten testing, an assessor will evaluate your child one on one. For first grade and up, tests are administered in groups. Some other tips:

• Consider visiting the location (with or without your child) beforehand to familiarize yourself with parking, the testing area, etc.

• Pack snacks for the drive; avoid a meltdown fueled by hunger.

• Give yourself plenty of time on test day (consider traffic, time for parking, bathroom beforehand, etc.). You don’t want to feel rushed.

• Plan on some low-key activities while you wait; bring crayons, a book, coloring pages, etc. Avoid anything your child might not want to put away when test time begins.

• Introduce your child to the assessor in an easy, low-key manner with a huge smile to reinforce that this is a “safe” adult.

• Use encouraging words to help your child do his/her best but don’t put on pressure.

And the results are in!In mid-March you’ll receive a letter with your child’s score and information about his/her acceptance into any programs. If you receive an offer, you will have to respond within a certain period of time. If you accept the position, you will not receive any other offers. If you don’t accept, you may receive an additional offer in Round 2 and beyond. For those who do not get into a program, there are no waitlist numbers, but spots open up throughout the summer and even at the beginning of the school year.

While SEES is a great option to consider, don’t panic if it doesn’t work out for your child. You can also consider your neighborhood school, magnet schools and charter schools. Plus, you are eligible to test year after year; you never know when the perfect spot might open up for your child. Good luck!

Before our daughter started kindergarten, we decided to try our luck with the CPS Selective Enrollment Elementary Schools (SEES). Here are some tips to help you prepare for a sometimes confusing (and stressful!) process.

Understanding your optionsCPS has five classical schools that offer a challenging liberal arts curriculum for students with high academic potential. There are 11 Regional Gifted Centers (three additional programs for students who are English Language Learners) with accelerated instructional programs that emphasize thinking, reasoning, problem solving and creativity. Entry is based on testing and is highly competitive.

ApplyingThe SEES application period runs from October to December the year before you wish to enroll your child. You can request your PIN number and submit your SEES application online at apply.cps.edu.

Do your homework: you must rank school choices in order of preference, and you can be offered only one spot, classical or gifted. Consider your preference between a classical or gifted program, location and other factors like parent involvement, after-school options, extracurricular activities, etc. Tour as many schools as possible. Test dates run from November to February based on when applications arrive. Kindergarten testing for classical and gifted schools is at one time; for other grades, testing takes place on separate dates. Results arrive in mid-March.

Preparing for test dayTest day can be more stressful for the parent than the child! Some families prep with private tutors, enrichment classes or worksheets. Others continue their normal routines of reading, visiting museums and libraries and talking with their children as much as possible. Whatever path you follow, talk with your child about what test day will be like. Talk about the purpose of the “test” using an

A former CPS teacher, Jay Annadurai often spends her kid-free time

helping other parents with their school search. She and her family love

living and learning in the city and are particularly fond of their family-

friendly neighborhood of North Center.

WHILE SELECTIVE ENROLLMENT ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS ARE A GREAT OPTION, DON’T PANIC IF IT DOESN’T WORK OUT FOR YOUR CHILD. CONSIDER YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD SCHOOL, MAGNET SCHOOLS AND CHARTER SCHOOLS.

SELECTIVE ENROLLMENT ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS: THE PROCESS By Jay Annadurai, NPN member since 2006

LEARN


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2. Have a clean-for-all. Put on gloves and get rid of the nasty stuff in your home. Local waste collection services have guidelines for proper household hazardous waste disposal, as well as collection sites for paint, batteries, cleaners, etc. Please don’t toss this stuff in the garbage.

3. Welcome healthy into your home. Examples include:• Cleaners that are truly cleaner. Consider products that

are nontoxic, natural, biodegradable, concentrated and hypoallergenic.

• Fresh air. Open your windows to reduce indoor air pollution.

• Essential oils instead of air fresheners.

• Plants. Besides being nice to look at, they can absorb harmful gases and help clean the air.

• Organic cotton bedding. Avoid standard bedding treated with chemicals.

• Floors made of recycled and renewable resources.

• Healthier paint—low VOC paint.

4. Clean up our collective home. Use:• Compact fluorescent lighting, which lasts longer.

(Recycle properly when burned out.)

• Energy Star-rated appliances. Save money and energy.

• A low-flush toilet. Replace the largest user of water in your house!

• Low-flow showerheads. Same pressure. Less water.

• Your flicker finger. Turn off lights and appliances when you’re not using them.

• Gray water system. Install one to recycle used household water for your lawn.

• Tankless water heater. Save money, energy and space.

Armed with this information, please consider reviewing the products in your home and remove anything toxic. If you have already made green changes to your cleaning regimen, kudos to you! Now, go tell some friends; it may improve their health.

You know that healthy feeling you get after cleaning the house? Sorry to spoil it, but you may have just made your home dirtier. You wouldn’t let your kids play with toxic chemicals, so why would you let the baby crawl over a floor that’s just been wiped with them?

How dangerous?• More than 90 percent of poison exposures happen at home.

• Chlorine bleach is the top household chemical involved in poisoning.

• A person who spends 15 minutes cleaning shower walls could inhale three times the “acute one-hour exposure limit” for products containing glycol ether.

• Common cleaners emit fumes that potentially increase the risk of kids developing asthma, the most common chronic childhood disease.

• One in 13 school-aged children has asthma. Rates in children younger than five have increased more than 160 percent from 1980 to 1994.

• Children are highly vulnerable to chemical toxicants. Pound for pound of body weight, children drink more water, eat more food and breathe more air than adults. Thus children will have substantially heavier exposures than adults to any toxicants in water, food or air.

• If your home is like the average U.S. home, you generate more than 20 pounds of household hazardous waste each year (the EPA designates toilet cleaners, tub and tile cleaners, oven cleaners and bleach as hazardous waste).

Ingredients to look forSodium hydroxide, Hydrochloric acid, Butyl cellosolve (2-Bu-toxyethanol), Formaldehyde, Bleach (sodium hypochlorite), Ammonia, Sulfamic acid, Petroleum distillates, Sulfuric acid, Lye (potassium hydroxide), Morpholine

Four simple ways to get cleanHere are some easy ways to make your family safer and your home healthier. And what’s good for your home is good for the earth and everyone else on it.

1. Get the dirt. Educate yourself about what you bring into your home at householdproducts.nlm.nih.gov/products.htm

WHAT’S GOOD FOR YOUR HOME IS GOOD FOR THE EARTH AND EVERYONE ELSE ON IT.

Denise Gaskell, owner of Gaskell Healthy Solutions, is committed to helping

people achieve optimal wellness. She has helped hundreds of people improve

their health and make sustainable choices. Denise and her husband Chris will be

married 24 years this year and have four children ages 21, 19, 17 and 15.

THE REAL DIRT ON CLEANBy Denise Gaskell, NPN member since 2012

CARE

Photo courtesy Denise Gaskell.


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Is your new nanny engaging in enough fun activities with your child? Is she trekking your kids all over the city, more than you’re comfortable with? Her last family may have given her complete autonomy to head out to a museum, a new park or a craft store. Or she may have had to follow a detailed written schedule with every outing pre-approved.

If you’d like your nanny to balance fun educational activities at home, such as arts/crafts, reading and imaginative play, with fresh air and exploration—tell her! Tell her what you are and are not comfortable with. Suggest places she can visit with your kiddos, and let her know how much discretion she has to plan each day. These arrangements may change as your relationship with your nanny grows.

What about the little extras around the house that make your life easier? In her interview, your nanny promised to do your kids’ laundry, organize the toys and have the kitchen spic and span when you arrive home. Instead, you’ve got cars in the ball bin, shrinking sweaters in the dryer—and why does she always leave her water glass on the counter? Your nanny is trying her best to adapt to the way you run your household. Her previous family may have handled things differently, and she may not realize the way she folds your laundry drives you bonkers! Start the relationship with open communication and tell her how you’d like things done. Your nanny will appreciate your straightforwardness, and she won’t be left guessing if she’s doing things right.

Your new nanny is excited about her new position and wants to make this work just as much as you do. Be patient with her, your kids and yourself through this transitional period. Offer open, honest feedback from the start. If you see this person becoming important in helping raise your children, stick with it—and in no time, she will become an irreplaceable part of your daily life!

Congratulations! Your search is over, and you’ve found your perfect Mary Poppins! So why aren’t things going smoothly? Relax; there’s a transition that needs to happen, and you may encounter some speed bumps along the way.

Wouldn’t it be glorious if your child instantly warmed up to her new nanny? In real life, we want our children to have a healthy wariness of new people. To your child, your new nanny is teetering on the brink of stranger-hood. Having a new caregiver spending many hours solo with your little one is a huge change. Your nanny would love a smile and hug in the morning instead of your child insisting “Mommy stay” while throwing a ginormous tantrum! It can take time for your kiddo to warm up to the nanny, trust her and welcome her as part of the family.

Once you’re out the door, you should feel comfortable and relaxed with your kids in good hands, yet you can’t help but wonder how things are going. Your nanny won’t mind if you give her a call, shoot her a text or ask her to send a picture text of your smiling babies. Try not to be overbearing by checking in every hour, but don’t feel like you are bothering the nanny if you want to check in. In time you will feel more confident that everything is running smoothly, but it’s normal to be a little apprehensive at first, even if your new nanny came with a five star reference!

THERE’S A TRANSITION THAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN, AND YOU MAY ENCOUNTER SOME SPEED BUMPS ALONG THE WAY.

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clothes, blankie and bath towel every day. Though lice can’t survive off the head for more than 48 hours, the stuffed animals stayed in bags for most of the week.

Two weeks later, to my great relief, the hairdresser confirmed that my daughter was lice-free. Nowadays, I send her to school in braids or ponytails with a few sprays of “Boo” for good measure. My son gets sprayed, too. They don’t complain. They’d rather not endure another weekend of missed playdates and birthday parties.

To defeat lice:

• Treat the child’s head with a lice removal product and get assistance from an expert. (Seeking professional help is not cheap, but it can increase the odds against recurrence.)

• Wash all clothes, sheets, bath towels and pillowcases in hot water and dry with hottest setting for at least 30 minutes daily.

• Bag everything that can’t be washed, like stuffed animals.

• Vacuum floors, rugs and furniture.

• Cover furniture with sheets. Put sheets in the dryer daily for at least 30 minutes on hottest setting until lice are gone.

• Sanitize brushes and combs daily with rubbing alcohol or ammonia mixed with water.

• Take heart. It’s hard facing these little buggers, but the reward of restoring your home and your kids’ heads to normalcy will make you feel like a true warrior!

Short of home schooling and steering clear of summer camps, I’m not sure how families can avoid lice. I speak from experience.

One Saturday I took my kids (ages five and seven) for haircuts. As I blithely sipped my morning coffee, my daughter’s hairdresser dropped the bomb, “I’m afraid she has lice.”

How was this possible? We had received notes from the school about lice in our kids’ classrooms, but what were the odds?

To make matters worse, my mother-in-law was visiting for a week and we were hosting Thanksgiving!

The hairdresser parted my daughter’s hair and showed me a tiny, clear egg. You couldn’t blow it off, you had to pinch it and drag it down the hair shaft to remove it. Yuck! And there were more! Thankfully, my daughter had no live bugs, and, after a quick scalp check, my son and I both appeared safe.

Hair Fairies and NitwitzBy now, it felt like all the parents in the place were staring at us. Armed with a $50 lice removal kit from Hair Fairies (which also removes lice), we went home. I called Hair Fairies, but they were booked until Monday.

Next, I called my doctor, who said, “My kids got them at summer camp. The good news is they can’t harm you. As your doctor, I’d recommend Rid or Nix. But as a mom, I’d say try Hair Fairies. Most of my doc friends use them.”

Since Hair Fairies was not an option, I called a good friend whose son had lice earlier. She advised me to call Ronna Ash, owner of Nitwitz. We made an appointment for the following morning, and, per Ronna’s advice, I spent the rest of the day treating hair, doing laundry, vacuuming and bagging stuffed animals.

The next day Ronna arrived and removed the lice eggs I missed. A white paper towel, bowl of water and proper nit comb are essential tools of the trade.

That evening, my husband broke the news to his mom and she handled it graciously. She even took on the lion’s share of laundry duty. My family didn’t abandon us on Thanksgiving, though my sister and her family couldn’t resist arriving with shower caps on their heads.

I treated my daughter’s hair every two days until the nits were gone. For extra insurance, we all used the special shampoo for the next few days. I cleaned my daughter’s pillowcases,

IT’S HARD FACING THESE LITTLE BUGGERS, BUT THE REWARD OF RESTORING YOUR HOME AND YOUR KIDS’ HEADS TO NORMALCY WILL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A TRUE WARRIOR!

Lisa La Vallee is director of communications for a Chicago-area university, where

she oversees strategic communications, planning and execution for the office of

research. She is married, has two kids and lives in West Town.

GOT LICE?By Lisa La Vallee, NPN member since 2005

CARE

Photo courtesy Lisa La Vallee.


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You never can be too prepared, especially when it comes to your kids. Now, go ahead and enjoy date night! We’ve got you covered.

Find a printable UrbanSitter Emergency Contacts card and other helpful info at blog.urbansitter.com.

Have you ever settled into a dark movie theater on date night, turned your phone to silent, yet couldn’t seem to turn off the voice in the back of your head that kept saying, “Does the sitter know who to call if she can’t reach me? Have I told her what to do in case of an emergency?” Even if you told her, it was likely ages ago, and you start to wonder if she remembers or has the numbers handy. Not a fun way to spend date night, fighting with that voice in the back of your head.

Quick fix to quiet that voice: create an emergency contact list and leave it on the counter every time you leave your kids with a sitter.

Your sitter will have an easy-to-find, hard-to-miss summary of the info that’s critical in case of an emergency: contact numbers for you, your spouse, your kids’ pediatrician and anyone you’d like her to call if she can’t reach you, as well as your home address, your kids’ birthdays and insurance information.

LEAVE AN EMERGENCY CONTACT LIST ON THE COUNTER EVERY TIME YOU LEAVE YOUR KIDS WITH A SITTER.

Jenny Rowland joined NPN after her first son was born. Struggling

to find an easy and reliable way to find babysitters, she launched

UrbanSitter (urbansitter.com) in spring 2012. UrbanSitter helps parents

find babysitters through people they know and trust, using Facebook

and existing parent networks (including NPN!).

PREPARE YOUR SITTER AND ENJOY DATE NIGHT By Jenny Rowland, NPN member since 2011

!

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SOCIAL SNAPSHOT CONNECTING CHICAGO PARENTS

ACT OUT WITH NPN! Inspire your little ones with Chicago Art, Culture and Theatre! We had an amazing time at Suzuki-Orff School of Music. Photo by Eva Ho.

Brand-new members meet up at Bubbles Academy for

NPN New Member Mingles. Photo by Eva Ho.

SOCIAL SCENE OUT AND ABOUT WITH NPN MEMBERS AND VOLUNTEERS

Gold Coast babies got all dolled up at their neighborhood Halloween Party. Photo by Beta Dunn Photography.

More than 450 NPN members (big and small) rocked

the night away at Lil’ Kickers for the Pre-New Year’s Eve

Celebration. Photo by Julia Franzosa Photography.


SOCIAL SNAPSHOT

Expectant and new parents are getting exactly what they

need each month, such as our recent Breastfeeding 101

at Little Beans Café. Photo by Shin Photography.

BLOG BUZZHave you checked out the NPN blog lately? There are daily posts on hot topics, such as:

• CPS Advice – From the Parent Perspective

• That “One Kid”

• 10 Things Moms Wish They Knew Before Going Into Labor

• The Family Pet – To Go There or Not Go There

FORUM BUZZAsk and answer pressing questions, find trusted child care, get parent-recommended solutions or join a social group. Members are buzzing about:

• How to get your infant to sleep

• What is the best neighborhood to live in

• Finding a day care spot

• School acceptance letters and what to do next

NPN


5. Play = Motivation Playing gives us incentive to initiate, take risks, try and try again, overcome obstacles and master skills.

6. Play = Confidence Playing helps us achieve feelings of success, pride and empowerment.

7. Play = Getting Along Playing with each other involves give and take and helps us understand how to relate to one another.

8. Play = Self-ExpressionPlay creates a safe space for us to learn about ourselves, explore our identities and share our feelings with each other.

9. Play = Communication Playing invites us to talk to each other, listen and share our points of view.

10. Play = Feeling GoodPlaying is fun and gratifying! When we play, we choose what to do, how to do it and for how long. Playing encourages us to live in the moment and release all our worries.

Playing improves our lives and is an essential part of taking care of ourselves and our children. Play is a priority. Make and take the time to play!

Beth Wilson is the director of early learning initiatives at Chicago

Children’s Museum. She has been with the museum for five years

and leads in the research and development of programs and exhibit

experiences for babies, toddlers, preschoolers and their families.

PLAYING IMPROVES OUR LIVES AND IS AN ESSENTIAL PART OF TAKING CARE OF OURSELVES AND OUR CHILDREN.

PLAY EVERY DAY By Beth Wilson, Chicago Children’s Museum, NPN member since 2011

PLAY

In his book PLAY, Dr. Stuart Brown states, “Play allows us to express our joy and connect most deeply with the best in ourselves, and in others.” As parents and caregivers of young children, aren’t these the things we want to be sure to bring to our child care: joy, deep connection and our “best selves”? Aren’t these key ingredients to nurturing children’s healthy growth and development?

In our fast-paced and over-scheduled world, we often overlook and undervalue play, for children and adults. But countless studies show that play isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity.

Top 10 reasons children and adults should play every day!

1. Play = Strong Relationships Playing deepens our connections with friends and loved ones and nurtures resiliency in our relationships. Playing together increases our capacity for empathy, compassion, trust and intimacy.

2. Play = Learning Playing engages us in real and imaginary experiences, which help our brains make connections, find meaning and develop foundational skills for all areas of life.

3. Play = Creativity Through play, our brain generates endless possibilities and new ideas. We develop problem-solving skills and open our minds to creating innovative solutions.

4. Play = Better Health Playing activates our bodies and minds and is as important to our physical and mental health as getting enough sleep, eating well and exercising. When we play, we exert energy, release stress and build strength.

Photo courtesy Chicago Children’s Museum.


We’ve all visited playgrounds. And we’ve all visited museums. And we all have our favorites, our “go-to’s” that we are familiar and comfortable with. This year, try a new adventure: visit a new playground and a new museum together, and plan a fun day for the entire family.

Consider taking public transportation if you want to add an additional level of adventure to your day, as sometimes getting there via el or bus is half the fun.

National Mexican Museum of Art/ Harrison Park PlaygroundHours: Tuesday–Sunday 10 a.m.–5 p.m.Cost: Free (donations accepted)Public Transportation: Pink Line to 18th or Damen/Cermak; Buses 18, 50

Harrison Playground is an older, spacious playground with some unique play structures, including a metal spider, arched monkey bars and lots of swings.

Swedish American Museum/ Andersonville Park PlaygroundHours: Kids Museum Monday–Thursday 1–4 p.m.; Friday 10 a.m.–4 p.m.; Saturday–Sunday 11 a.m.–4 p.m.Cost: $4 adults,$3 children/students/seniors, free for Museum members and children younger than one, $10 familiesPublic Transportation: Red Line to Berwyn (eight blocks away); Buses 22, 50, 92

Andersonville Playground may be smaller, but it is a shady option for hot days and showcases two unique murals.

Notebaert Nature Museum/Sunshine PlaygroundHours: Monday–Friday 9 a.m.–5 p.m.; Saturday–Sunday 10 a.m.–5 p.m.Cost: $9 adults, $7 students and seniors (60+), $6 children to age 12, free for children younger than three; Thursday free (donations accepted)Public Transportation: Buses 76, 134, 143, 151, 156

Truly on the path less traveled, Sunshine Playground is a short walk north from the Notebaert along the north pond and is adjacent to North Pond restaurant. The skyline view is stunning. With shade and older wooden structures, it’s a great destination pre- or post-museum while enjoying the nature of the pond and paths.

TRY A NEW ADVENTURE: VISIT A NEW PLAYGROUND AND A NEW MUSEUM TOGETHER, AND PLAN A FUN DAY FOR THE ENTIRE FAMILY.

PLAN A PERFECT PLAYGROUND (AND MUSEUM) DAY IN CHICAGO By Mistie Lucht, NPN member since 2007

PLAY

Mistie Lucht is mom of three girls younger than six and has lived in

Chicago for more than eight years. She stopped working outside the

home in 2010 and soon after co-created Playground Pointers, an iPhone/

iPad app with details on more than 600 playgrounds in the Chicago area.

Museum of Contemporary Art/Seneca PlaygroundHours: Tuesday 10 a.m.–8 p.m.; Wednesday–Sunday 10 a.m.–5 p.m.Cost: $12 suggested, $7 students and seniors, free for MCA members, military, children 12 and younger; Tuesday free for Illinois residentsPublic Transportation: Red Line to Chicago; Buses 3, 10, 26, 33, 66, 125, 143, 146, 147, 148, 151, 157

Seneca feels like a green, playful oasis amid the Mag Mile’s skyscrapers. Its two different sides (one for older kids, one for younger) offer hours of play close to so much. Check out the many slide options on the older side and the fire truck and train climbing structures on the younger side.

Lincoln Park Zoo/Cummings PlaygroundHours: Varies seasonally; gates open at 7 a.m., buildings open at 10 a.m.Cost: Free every dayPublic Transportation: Buses 22, 36, 73, 151, 156

This playground carries the zoo theme throughout, with statues of animals for children to climb on. With a large climbing structure for older kids and a smaller structure for younger kids, Cummings offers play for all ages. The large, mature trees within and surrounding this playground offer shade and beauty just steps from the zoo’s entrance.

Photo courtesy Mistie Lucht.


I soon realized, by stepping back and letting them play on their own, my kids actually flourished more. My older son has immersed himself much more in imaginative and make-believe play since I stopped partaking in every activity with him—not to mention how the little one has met milestones on his own. One day we realized he was crawling past us. Worry about walking? It will come soon enough.

So whether you have one or four kids, provide a safe environment and let the kids go to town. Who knows? Maybe you can even enjoy a glass of wine and some conversation with your significant other while keeping a watchful eye.

Regina Donovan is a freelance toy designer who lives in Lincoln Park with

her husband Brian and two sons, Jack (three and a half) and Theodore

(10 months). She is the youngest of four children and has had plenty of

time to play on her own growing up.

I SOON REALIZED, BY STEPPING BACK AND LETTING THEM PLAY ON THEIR OWN, MY KIDS ACTUALLY FLOURISHED MORE.

STEP BACK AND LET YOUR KIDS PLAY By Regina Donovan, NPN member since 2009

When my first son was born, I tried my hardest to let him explore and play on his own. I didn’t realize the time I spent thinking about this was pretty much counter-productive, and I ended up worrying about what activity or toy would help him reach the next milestone. If I put toys just out of his reach, would he crawl? If I dangled toys above his head, would he develop reaching and grasping better? I won’t even mention the worry about walking “on time.”

As a first-time parent, I was nervous, anxious and just plain clueless as to what I should expect. As a professional infant and preschool toy designer, I had an arsenal of information about toys and activities “appropriate” for each milestone, broken down month by month. From making sure the nursery had just the right amount of black and white stimulation to finding the perfect one-year birthday present, I was on information overload. I can only imagine my son was in overdrive as well.

Then along came the second child. My husband and I switched into survival mode, and we are still in it. Gone are the days of referencing Your Baby’s First Year for every little thing. I just don’t have the energy. I’m still on the floor with my kids, but this time picking up small bits of food or trying to sneak in a rest while they are climbing all over me. Instead of trying to find the right toy for my son’s developmental stage, I make sure his toys are safe and he doesn’t have his brother’s Hot Wheels car in his mouth. He’s much more interested in his brother’s toys than anything I could introduce.

PLAY

Photo courtesy Regina Donovan.


I consider that statement a perfect example of lazy parenting. Did I really just threaten to take away something so special to her—spending time with me? Did I really just serve up a threat I would not have followed up on? Yep and yep.

Half an hour later I was driving to the school with tears streaming down my face. When I arrived, my daughter’s little face lit up. I gave her a hug and told her I was sorry about the sweater incident and that I wouldn’t have missed the school trip for anything. She laughed and said, “I know, mama!”

I’ve still got a lump in my throat as I type this, but I’m trying to remind myself that if my dear, sweet five-year-old can forgive me, maybe it’s time to forgive myself.

Can you imagine saying something mean to that cute face? I did and it didn’t feel good.

Mornings around our house are always hectic. The other day, my five-year-old woke up excited that the long-awaited kindergarten trip to the fire station had arrived. The best part: I was going along as a classroom volunteer. She is a real mama’s girl, so that was a pretty big deal in her little world.

This particular kid is a bit of a fashionista. By dumb luck, our kids ended up in a public school that has uniforms. As such, there is no real discussion about what our kids wear to school. However, my fashionista girl regularly expresses opinions about shoes, sweaters and coats.

On the day of the school trip, the morning was madness. I had to get the kindergarten kid and the three biggies out the door. The baby was screaming for breakfast and the pre-schooler had to get dressed for nursery school. I was under pressure for time since I had to get myself organized to be at school on time for the field trip. I handed my kindergarten kid her sweater with instructions to put it on and head out the door for the bus. She started fussing, complaining and carrying on about not wanting that sweater. I snapped. Out of my mouth came something that stopped her in her tracks: “If I get any fuss about this, I will not be going to the fire station.” She looked startled and quickly put the sweater on.

I’M TRYING TO REMIND MYSELF THAT IF MY DEAR, SWEET FIVE-YEAR-OLD CAN FORGIVE ME, MAYBE IT’S TIME TO FORGIVE MYSELF.

Julie Cole is the co-founder of Mabel’s Labels Inc. (mabelslabels.com) and

the proud mom of six. Read her blogs at mabelhood.com/JulieCole and

thebabymachine.com. Follow her on Twitter @juliecole

FORGIVING YOURSELF

By Julie Cole, Mabel’s Labels, NPN member since 2012

SHARE

Photo by CL Buchanan Photography & Design.


I began explaining my plan to try breastfeeding my son. He interrupted me. “You are going to breastfeed,” he said, “without fail.”

He continued, “Every woman can breastfeed. The hospitals make it difficult on women to breastfeed. None of my homebirth patients have any trouble breastfeeding. Look at the pictures on my walls. I went to China, I went to Africa, I went to India. There were no lactation consultants. They just did what came naturally when their milk came down. They were all fine. Look at the giraffe.” He pointed to the wall behind him; there is no giraffe picture. “Its baby is born and then it suckles. No intervention needed!”

My mama friend who had recommended him was a homebirth patient who needed a lactation consultant. Strike five!

We are also not giraffes, and not all baby mammals and their mamas breastfeed inherently or properly. Some baby animals die because of this. Where we have lost our tribal communities, from which we could have used that generational knowledge of breastfeeding or called upon our sisters to help us wet nurse, lactation consultants and midwives have filled the gap to help educate and encourage us.

I stood up and thanked him. He shook my hand again; it felt pulverized. As we parted, he asked what I was going to do. I replied, “Breastfeed like a giraffe.” My jab couldn’t be avoided but probably went over his head anyway. If his aim was to make me feel empowered, his manner toward me created the opposite feeling. As his patient, I would always feel like he was talking down to me.

My second appointment was drama-free, and I knew she would be our pediatrician. As I left her office, she wished me luck and reminded me to call their on-site lactation consultant if any issues arose. My son was born with a tongue-tie (or medically “Ankyloglossia”), which required the intervention of surgery and the aid of several gifted and patient lactation consultants.

Happily, at 14 months old, my son continues to nurse and thrive.

Before my first child was born, I needed to find a pediatrician. I set up two interviews with doctors recommended by mama friends. My first interview felt like meeting a politician—a slimy politician.

He walked in a half hour late and, as a greeting, asked where my husband was. At work, I explained, irked at his assumption that I even had a husband. Satisfied with my husband’s whereabouts, he finally shook my hand.

His handshake was a vice grip, like he was trying to crush the tiny bones in my hand. That was two strikes against future baby doctor. Not to mention my hand was sore.

I asked for parenting resource book recommendations, something with advice about basic illnesses, developmental milestones and such.

“I tell my parents not to read. Rather they should trust their intuition,” he said. I wasn’t comfortable with a doctor who told his patients not to read. He also had strong objections to the book I was reading, Nurture Shock. “Nurture,” he said, “is inherent. Every person knows how to parent.”

Both his statements sounded too generalized and sweeping for me. I quickly realized, were he my son’s doctor, I would constantly disagree with his approach and reasoning. Strikes three and four.

ONE MOM’S INTERVIEW LEAVES HER A LITTLE SORE.

Sara Ross Witt is co-producer of a monthly reading series, Tuesday Funk

(tuesdayfunk.org), and a graduate of The New School M.F.A. in Creative

Writing Program. She writes about pregnancy and motherhood at

pregphobicandpregnant.blogspot.com and lives with her husband, their

14-month-old son and two cats in Uptown.

FINDING THE RIGHT PEDIATRICIAN FOR YOU By Sara Witt, NPN member since 2012

SHARE

Photo courtesy Sara Witt.


If you can, make cruise time nap time. Remember to bring siesta accessories, such as pacifiers and blankies. It may be sunny—too sunny for a sleeper—so consider window shades to keep little ones shielded from excessive rays and light.

This wouldn’t be a true recipe without food! Make sure your riders are happy and well-fed before taking off. Nobody wants to drive with a hungry grouch. Keep water and easy-to-open-and-access snacks near your toddler.

Enjoy your trip!

*Find a local car seat check through SafeKids USA to ensure proper car seat installation!

Here are nine essential ingredients for a successful car ride:• One to two convertible car seats and/or booster seats

(depending on number of kids)

• Four to five Rockabye Baby Music CDs

• Ten soft toys

• One dash of sanity

• Six water-filled sippy cups

• Four different healthy snacks (options!)

• Two window shades

Preparation:As parents, our job is to keep our kids as safe as possible. The main ingredient of this recipe is a good, reliable car seat. In addition to being safe, the kid needs to be comfortable—really comfortable. Look for a seat that adapts as your child grows and is designed with revolutionary head safety features that are clearly labeled and visible.

Wherever your travels take you, be sure to check out new car seat laws. You may be heading for a state that requires children to be restrained in a car seat until age eight. A ticket is not on the list of ingredients and will likely spoil anyone’s travel appetite. With the “boost” of a booster, your child’s body will fit safely under the seat belt and he’ll be able to see out the window better.

Within what feels like minutes of leaving, your toddler may (will) start to squirm. Before leaving, make a list of playgrounds and rest stops along your route and stop every two hours. To entertain rear-facing car seat riders, give them soft toys and soft books. Older kids should get to choose at least one (parent-approved) toy for the ride.

Let your toddler choose tunes and sing-alongs that will keep him engaged and having fun. Keep in mind your travel time—and your sanity—and include something from Rockabye Baby Music.

AS PARENTS, OUR JOB IS TO KEEP OUR KIDS AS SAFE AS POSSIBLE. THE MAIN INGREDIENT OF THIS RECIPE IS A GOOD, RELIABLE CAR SEAT.

Sarah Tilton is a child passenger safety advocate with Britax. An active

Certified Passenger Safety technician and instructor, Tilton participates

in child passenger safety activities locally, statewide and nationally. She

is active with Safe Kids Charlotte Mecklenburg and is a member of the

North Carolina Child Passenger Safety Training Committee.

RECIPE FOR SAFE, FUN AND EASY CAR TRAVEL By Sarah Tilton, Britax, NPN member since 2011

SHARE

Photo courtesy Britax.


2. Quality, not quantity. Parents often think “it looks better” to request as much parenting time as possible. The problem with that misguided request is the intent has nothing to do with the child, but is about giving a false impression to the judge, family or friends. Create a schedule that allows you to maximize the quality of the time you have with your child, even if that means you have fewer visits than you would like.

3. Be a modern family. Incorporate mobile applications like Skype or FaceTime into your daily telephone calls. Younger children, especially non-verbal children, will enjoy seeing Mommy or Daddy daily. Stay updated on and involved in your child’s activities and appointments with programs such as Our Family Wizard and Google Calendar.

4. Create a “new normal.” Create a “new normal” with your child regarding weekly visits, holidays, birthdays and school breaks. It is unlikely you will have your child on every holiday. For example, taking your child trick-or-treating does not have to occur on October 31. Brookfield and Lincoln Park Zoos, the Chicago Park District and many Chicago area indoor play spaces host Halloween events on other days. Do not let a date on the calendar dictate your holiday celebration with your child.

5. Be resourceful. Despite what you may think, your child is not the only one with divorced parents. Even Sesame Street puppet Abby Cadabby has divorced parents! Reach out to friends, family, counselors and your lawyer for recommendations of programs to help you create a parenting schedule tailored to your family. Find NPN groups to help develop fun activities for your parenting time.

While creating a parenting schedule is not easy, taking everyone’s schedules into consideration, including your little ones’, makes all the difference. If you already have a Parenting Agreement, or would like to establish one, you should consult a lawyer who can help tailor your Agreement to your family’s needs.

As mom of a toddler and a divorce attorney, I have a unique understanding of the challenges divorced parents face when trying to determine a parenting schedule. Parents often worry about the impact of their divorce on their child, especially when the child is an infant or toddler. Changes will occur to the child’s daily routine, including adjusting to having two “homes” and not seeing Mommy or Daddy every day. Here are a few things parents should consider when establishing or modifying their parenting schedules:

1. Consistency is key. Design a parenting schedule based on your child’s daily routine. For infants, parents should structure their time according to the child’s schedule, making every effort to allocate time between both parents for eating, bathing and sleeping routines. Even breastfed babies can have regular parenting time with their fathers. Similarly, a parenting schedule for toddlers or school-age children should revolve around the child’s school or activities schedule. Try to ensure the child has a consistent non-parent child care provider in both parents’ homes.

WHILE CREATING A PARENTING SCHEDULE IS NOT EASY, TAKING EVERYONE’S SCHEDULES INTO CONSIDERATION, INCLUDING YOUR LITTLE ONES’, MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

Kimberly A. Cook is an attorney with Schiller DuCanto & Fleck, LLP. She

lives in Chicago with her husband and son.

DIVORCED PARENTS: MAKING THE MOST OF A PARENTING SCHEDULE

By Kimberly A. Cook, NPN member since 2012

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Photo courtesy Kimberly A. Cook.


Enrichment classes for children 0 to 5,

school preparation and parent programs.

312.944.7677 www.bubblesacademy.com 1504 N. Fremont. Chicago, IL 60642

Inspiring imaginations since 2003.

Neighborhood Parents Network of Chicago 3020 N. Lincoln Ave.Chicago, IL [email protected]

Non ProfitOrganizationU.S. Postage

PAIDChicago, IL

Permit No. 2536

Not a member yet? Join today at npnparents.org!Get Social with NPNparents

Critic’s Pick: The Ace Detective Award For Demystifying the School Selection Process

UPCOMING EVENTSVisit our Calendar for more great events all over Chicago!

MAY

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NPN Spring Online Silent Auction

Preview NOW through May 1 Bidding May 2–5 Bidding ends Sunday, May 5 at 9 p.m. CST

Support NPN while scoring a great deal on amazing items for you and your kids!

biddingforgood.com/npnparents

Chicago KIDS Day

Mayfest (Ashland/Barry)

A day celebrating healthy kids— crafts, games, healthy snacks and more—$10 donation (per family). Open to the public!

NPN SCHOOL SEARCH NEWS

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