MOTHERS’ GROUP COMPONENT OF THE COMMUNITY GROUP PROGRAM FOR CHILDREN

EXPOSED TO WOMAN ABUSE:

Rationale and Benefits Of The Concurrent Model

2009Michele Paddon

Program Developer / Manual Author

The Community Group Program For Children Exposed To Woman Abuse

1. THE BASIS OF THE MOTHERS’COMPONENT OF THE CGP

2. ENGAGING MOTHERS TO GET INVOLVED WITH THE PROGRAM

3. HOW DOES THE MOTHERS’ PROGRAM WORK?

4. CHALLENGES AND SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES

OVERVIEW

I. THE BASIS OF THE MOTHERS’

COMPONENT OF THE COMMUNITY GROUP

PROGRAM

CON•CUR•RENT

1: OCCURRING AT THE SAME TIME

2 : RUNNING PARALLEL

3: ACTING IN CONJUNCTION

The Mothers Group Program Is Unique In Nature . . .

Not a parenting group or a woman

abuse group in the traditional sense -

In a safe and supportive environment,

women who have been abused

connect with other women as parents

The Mother’s group guides women in

reflecting upon their personal experiences

of abuse to the extent that best enables

them to then have a greater

understanding of their children’s

perspective . . .

so as to be better equipped to support

them in healing from the impact of abuse

The primary purpose of the Mothers Groups is to support

women in understanding how to help their kids . . .

When women make connections with each other, by it’s very nature

the Mothers’ group becomes a therapeutic intervention

in itself . . .

MAKING CONNECTIONS FOR ABUSED MAKING CONNECTIONS FOR ABUSED MAKING CONNECTIONS FOR ABUSED MAKING CONNECTIONS FOR ABUSED WOMEN IS A KEY CONCEPT THROUGHOUT WOMEN IS A KEY CONCEPT THROUGHOUT WOMEN IS A KEY CONCEPT THROUGHOUT WOMEN IS A KEY CONCEPT THROUGHOUT

THE GROUP PROCESS THE GROUP PROCESS THE GROUP PROCESS THE GROUP PROCESS …………

To their own experience as it relates to “theory”about woman abuse

With each other

To information and resources in their community

To their children

To concepts about how children’s healing process is reflective of mother’s healing

Children will go as far as women are able to go –

they are a reflection of mothers and their own healing

““““When I first came here, I wanted to When I first came here, I wanted to When I first came here, I wanted to When I first came here, I wanted to help my daughter. Now I realize help my daughter. Now I realize help my daughter. Now I realize help my daughter. Now I realize

how much help I needed for myself how much help I needed for myself how much help I needed for myself how much help I needed for myself too.too.too.too.””””

IN ADDITION TO HELPING WOMEN WITH THEIR OWN HEALING, THESE AREAS CAN

ALSO BE HELPFUL:

Positive Parenting Practices Such As Non-Physical Discipline

Parent / Child Communication Skills

Parenting Skills Designed For Children Who Lived With Violence

Modeling of Constructive Problem-Solving and Management of Emotions

WHAT MOTHERS CAN WORK ON

TOGETHER WITH THEIR CHILDREN:

Mapping out expectations for healthy non-violent family relationships

Strengthening healthy communication and practicing problem-solving

Establishing safe ways to talk together about the past.

Working to heal and move forward as a family

Identifying activities and engaging in family “fun”

II. ENGAGING MOTHERS TO GET INVOLVED

WITH THE PROGRAM

MESSAGES TOWARDS ENGAGING MOTHERS TO PARTICIPATE IN

THE GROUP PROGRAM:

PROCESS OF BUILDING TRUST AND ENGAGEMENT BEGINS WITH VERY FIRST CONTACT

CHILDREN’S GROUP IS MORE THERAPEUTIC WHEN MOM ALSO PARTICIPATES IN HER OWN GROUP

MOTHERS ARE THE EXPERTS IN UNDERSTANDING THEIR CHILDREN’S EXPERIENCE –THEREFORE MOTHER’S PARTICIPATION SEEN AS INVALUABLE

RENEWAL OF MOTHER’S CREDIBILITY AS A PARENT

BEHAVIOUR CHANGES MAY OCCUR FOR CHILDREN DURING THE GROUP PROCESS – OPPORTUNITY FOR SUPPORT

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Principles To The Mother’s Group Program:

1. To promote a child-centred model

whereby a mother participating

in her own group enhances the

therapeutic experience of the

group for her child

2. To support women in recognizing their right to live

without violence,

and in making positive choices to

strive to eliminate violence from their

lives and their children’s lives

3. To provide opportunities for women who have experienced abuse to feel less isolated as

mothers

by facilitating connections

related to parenting children who

have been exposed to abuse

4. For women to have information about personal

safety planning

in order to increase their ability to

keep themselves and their

children safe

5. To provide opportunities for women to make significant

personal connections

- Women Connecting With Each

Other

- Mothers Connecting With Their Children

- Community Connections

6. To validate the importance of self-care, self-esteem

enhancement, and personal support for mothers

as directly related to her

children’s own emotional healing

process

“When women can truly understand and connect with their child’s experience,

through the desire to help their children, they are also helping themselves”

Sandra Graham-Berman

III. HOW DOES THE MOTHERS’ PROGRAM

WORK?Program Logistics

• Referral Process – Mothers offered opportunity to participate when children registered for group

• Assessment for Group Readiness – Information upon referral, contact to register child in group, pre-group meeting with mothers

• Group Content - Mothers’ group sessions parallel children’s material and resources

• Group Milieu / Facilitators – Safe community settings, trained facilitators, closed group

• Group Format - Standard weekly format for each group session (see handout)

Circumstances in which program staff may have concerns about

women participating in the Mother’s Group:

• Women coping with significant emotional

stress not conducive to the group process

• Women experiencing current abuse and personal safety issues

• Women presently involved in other groups or supportive interventions

Women choosing not to participate in the group:

• Decision NOT to participate preferably should be guided by the woman herself

• Essential that program staff not present as the “experts”

• Program staff can supportively make assessments and acknowledge concerns in a manner that does not undermine a woman’s own sense of insight and knowledge about her needs and personal best interests

If a woman is NOT to participate in the group:

• Children may still participate

• Individual contact with mother may be planned

• Woman may choose to take part in the group at another time

• Program staff to make referrals, suggest other more appropriate resources, and to support women in developing safety plans

IV. ADDRESSING CHALLENGES AND

SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES

UNIQUE NATURE OF THE MODELUNIQUE NATURE OF THE MODELUNIQUE NATURE OF THE MODELUNIQUE NATURE OF THE MODEL

• Lends itself to both the strengths and challenges of the program

• Not a woman abuse group, nor a parenting group – something distinctly in the middle of these

• Potentially complex balance that requires effective facilitation

How facilitators can respond:How facilitators can respond:How facilitators can respond:How facilitators can respond:

• Maintain essential balance in addressing both Maintain essential balance in addressing both Maintain essential balance in addressing both Maintain essential balance in addressing both womenwomenwomenwomen’’’’s own personal abuse issues combined s own personal abuse issues combined s own personal abuse issues combined s own personal abuse issues combined with childwith childwith childwith child----focused conceptsfocused conceptsfocused conceptsfocused concepts

• Be consistent about the parameters of groupBe consistent about the parameters of groupBe consistent about the parameters of groupBe consistent about the parameters of group

• Validate womenValidate womenValidate womenValidate women’’’’s own personal issues, discuss s own personal issues, discuss s own personal issues, discuss s own personal issues, discuss the value of seeking additional support the value of seeking additional support the value of seeking additional support the value of seeking additional support –––– while while while while staying true to the primary goalstaying true to the primary goalstaying true to the primary goalstaying true to the primary goal

DIVERSE NEEDS OF PARTICIPANTSDIVERSE NEEDS OF PARTICIPANTSDIVERSE NEEDS OF PARTICIPANTSDIVERSE NEEDS OF PARTICIPANTS

• Women at different stages of transition from an abusive relationship

• Women who have survived many different types of abusive situations

• Differing ages and abilities

• Diverse range of social, cultural, and religious backgrounds

How facilitators can respond:How facilitators can respond:How facilitators can respond:How facilitators can respond:

• Facilitators to address perceived sense of Facilitators to address perceived sense of Facilitators to address perceived sense of Facilitators to address perceived sense of isolation b y emphasizing the value of diversity isolation b y emphasizing the value of diversity isolation b y emphasizing the value of diversity isolation b y emphasizing the value of diversity in the groupin the groupin the groupin the group

• Support women in bridging the gapsSupport women in bridging the gapsSupport women in bridging the gapsSupport women in bridging the gaps

• Deliver group material in a way that is inclusive, Deliver group material in a way that is inclusive, Deliver group material in a way that is inclusive, Deliver group material in a way that is inclusive, relevant, and meaningful to all participantsrelevant, and meaningful to all participantsrelevant, and meaningful to all participantsrelevant, and meaningful to all participants

EFFECTS OF ABUSE ON WOMENEFFECTS OF ABUSE ON WOMENEFFECTS OF ABUSE ON WOMENEFFECTS OF ABUSE ON WOMEN

• Women at both ends of the continuum Women at both ends of the continuum Women at both ends of the continuum Women at both ends of the continuum & impacted differently depending on their & impacted differently depending on their & impacted differently depending on their & impacted differently depending on their experienceexperienceexperienceexperience

• Post Traumatic Stress, Flashbacks, Anxiety, Post Traumatic Stress, Flashbacks, Anxiety, Post Traumatic Stress, Flashbacks, Anxiety, Post Traumatic Stress, Flashbacks, Anxiety, DepressionDepressionDepressionDepression

• Emotional and physical responses to Emotional and physical responses to Emotional and physical responses to Emotional and physical responses to recalling own experiences or hearing recalling own experiences or hearing recalling own experiences or hearing recalling own experiences or hearing womenwomenwomenwomen’’’’s storiess storiess storiess stories

How facilitators can respond:How facilitators can respond:How facilitators can respond:How facilitators can respond:• Normalize experiencesNormalize experiencesNormalize experiencesNormalize experiences• Avoid pathologizing Avoid pathologizing Avoid pathologizing Avoid pathologizing –––– reframe as reframe as reframe as reframe as

““““copingcopingcopingcoping”””” ---- support women in recognizing support women in recognizing support women in recognizing support women in recognizing strategies for managing their responsesstrategies for managing their responsesstrategies for managing their responsesstrategies for managing their responses

• Careful assessment of whole group is keyCareful assessment of whole group is keyCareful assessment of whole group is keyCareful assessment of whole group is key• Supporting women in context of group is Supporting women in context of group is Supporting women in context of group is Supporting women in context of group is

ideal ideal ideal ideal –––– access wisdom of group, reduce access wisdom of group, reduce access wisdom of group, reduce access wisdom of group, reduce isolationisolationisolationisolation

ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS FROM

WORKSHOP PARTICIPANTS