May 8, 2014

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MAY 8, 2014 • VOLUME 67 • ISSUE 1 w MARTLET.CA t @THEMARTLET f /MARTLETUVIC NEWS SENATE MEETING DISCUSSES POETS AND PIPE-FITTERS PAGE 3 OPINIONS GROWING UP GRACEFULLY PAGE 5 CULTURE PASSIONATE ROCKER BRINGS THE HEAT PAGE 8 LIFESTYLE TIPS FOR GRADUATING INTO FINANCIAL STABILITY PAGE 10 MORE THAN A GAME THE UNIVERSITY OF VICTORIA’S INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPER FANTASY SPORTS PAGE 6

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Issue 1, Volume 67

Transcript of May 8, 2014

Page 1: May 8, 2014

MAY 8, 2014 • VOLUME 67 • ISSUE 1 w MARTLET.CA t @THEMARTLET f /MARTLETUVIC

NEWS—SENATE MEETING DISCUSSES POETS AND PIPE-FITTERSPAGE 3

OPINIONS—GROWING UP GRACEFULLYPAGE 5

CULTURE—PASSIONATE ROCKER BRINGS THE HEATPAGE 8

LIFESTYLE—TIPS FOR GRADUATING INTO FINANCIAL STABILITYPAGE 10

MORE THAN A GAME

THE UNIVERSITY OF VICTORIA’S INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPER

FANTASY SPORTSPAGE 6

Page 2: May 8, 2014

I want to learn how to:—Write—Report—Edit—Photograph—Illustrate—Film—Code

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Page 3: May 8, 2014

NEWS For up-to-the-minute news be sure to follow us on Twitter @themartlet.

May 8, 2014 MARTLET • NEWS 3

Great Film Music History of Rock & Roll Top 20 Albums The BeatlesAfrican Hand Drumming

Did you know School of Music electives are open to everybody?

Education that’s Easy on the Ears

History of the GuitarHistory of Jazz Listening to Music Global Rhythm & Human ConsciousnessInside Opera

www.�nearts.uvic.ca/music

ADAM HAYMAN

Spare chairs propped open the doors to the UVic Senate chambers as members and non-members alike gathered for their last meeting of the 2013-14 year, held on May 2. The senate gallery was filled with non-members who brought some reports to the senate floor, a few newly elected senate members, and a few curious observers, including Sally Eshuys, who works in research administration.

“This is the only time I get to hear about the things on the academic side of the university,” she said, “so it’s a good way to learn about the other things that are going on.”

University president Jamie Cassels began by addressing the B.C. government’s April 29 announce-ment that $160 million in this year’s

education budget will be redirected towards training for high-demand occupations, ones expected to come from the five liquid natural gas plants that the province is look-ing to secure. Cassels said “not to worry” even though there is no new funding allocated for universities. Although trade options will have a sharper focus in K–12 schools along-side normal arts and science classes, Cassels told the senate that “this is not about pipe-fitters versus poets; this is about poets and pipe-fitters.” This sound bite, referencing UVic’s diversity, garnered applause from amongst the entire senate floor. Cassels assured the crowd that UVic already offers courses and programs that are applicable in B.C.’s growing trade market.

Then the senate unanimously approved a motion requiring many

students to declare their majors earlier. The new policy, which will take effect in May 2015, will require future students to declare their major at the end of their first year if they are in the faculties of Science and Social Science, and by the end of their second year should they be in the Humanities. The few that raised their hands did so just to mention that their faculty colleagues were fully in favour of the motion. According to supporters, declar-ing in a more timely manner will help build student engagement by focusing students towards groups and events that would align with their choice of major. The process of declaring one’s major will soon be online, and students can still change their majors as they see fit.

What happened next was described by Peter Bell, a two-term

graduate student senate member, as “amazing.” The senate was to approve 15 new scholarships and prizes, including faculty-specific scholarships celebrating UVic’s 50th anniversary. One scholarship, val-ued at $1 000, was allotted for each faculty, but considering the drasti-cally different sizes of the faculties, some members did not believe it fair to have only one per faculty. A motion to table the scholarships was put forth. Tensions (and the arms of the UVic Senate members) rose as the vote was counted. To everyone’s shock, it ended with a tie.

“I had never seen something like that before. You know? They even had to check the rules,” said Bell. A tie, according to procedure, results in the motion failing and so the scholarships continued on as planned. It provided a thrilling end

to Bell’s last senate meeting after serving as a member for two years.

“It’s amazing how much the peo-ple really matter, and you think it’s a big bureaucracy; and it is, but it is more about the individual people,” said Bell. No elected undergradu-ate representatives were present at the meeting, and Bell acknowl-edged that participating isn’t easy.

“As a student, a lot of the issues that are being discussed are inside baseball . . . the people who really contribute are the ones who really love this stuff.”

For meeting minutes and more information, visit uvic.ca/

universitysecretary/senate/.

UVic Senate meeting recapTwo-term student senator Peter Bell attends the last UVic Senate meeting of his tenure –ADAM HAYMAN (PHOTO)

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4 NEWS • MARTLET May 8, 2014

The Centre of the Universe is hoping to host amateur astronomer nights weekly over the summer. –WILLIAM WORKMAN (PHOTO)

ANGEL MANGUERRA

For years, those curious about the galaxies and heavens above could drive down West Saanich Road to visit Observatory Hill, home to the Centre of the Universe (CU) and the Dominion Astrophysical Observatory (DAO). While the observatory is still used for scientific research, the Centre of the Universe closed to the public in August 2013 due to National Research Council (NRC) budget cutbacks. However, with support from the community, the Centre is gradually restoring its public programs.

One of those programs is put on this summer by Science Venture, a UVic-based non-profit that encour-ages hands-on learning for science, technology, engineering, and math

(STEM) among Vancouver Island youth. In collaboration with the NRC, they are running two space-themed camps this July and August—spac-eTECH and astroLAB—at the Centre of the Universe.

The spaceTECH camp examines the technology that makes space exploration and research possi-ble; from building a robotic “Mars Rover” (with Lego Mindstorms) to studying satellites, spaceships, and rockets. The astroLAB program, on the other hand, delves into the sci-ence of stars, planets, and galaxies. It includes building a planetarium and focuses on the physics of astron-omy. According to Melisa Yestrau, the director of Science Venture, both camps hope to include a visit and demonstration of the Plaskett telescope in the dome building atop

Observatory Hill. According to Yestrau, MLA Lana

Popham organized a community proposal to the NRC and suggested a pilot project for the summer pro-gram. With the support of the NRC and the Royal Astronomical Society of Canada (RASC), Science Venture was granted permission to use the CU and observatory facilities for the summer camps. Andrew Weaver, another MLA and a faculty member of UVic’s School of Earth and Ocean Sciences, was an early supporter of the collaboration and put Science Venture and the NRC in contact. Weaver said that his goal while working behind the scenes was to “remove barriers to communication and then [he] let people with the same vision work together.”

Aside from using the Centre for

youth camps in the summer, the RASC is now in the process of gain-ing approval for some Saturday observation nights this July and August. Jim Hesser, strategic adviser to the NRC Herzberg Program, says that while the Centre of the Universe is still not fully open to the public yet, “[the] NRC made it known that it was very interested in working with community groups who would be interested to restore some educa-tion and public outreach activities.”

Recently on May 3, the RASC and the Royal B.C. Museum had Astronomy Day, an event with astronomy activities at the museum during the day, and astronomy related talks and programs at the opened CU and observatory at night.

Lauri Roche, former president of

the RASC Victoria chapter, is opti-mistic that they will have several Saturday night viewings later this summer led by RASC members with their personal telescopes set up in the parking lot, and with the obser-vatory being open for tours and viewings.

Hesser says, “My personal hope is that the long-term working group [at the CU] would come up with a vision that will truly re-open the CU to the public, but that isn’t happen-ing this summer [yet].”

For more information on the Royal Astronomical Society of Canada’s Victoria chapter and their upcom-

ing activities, visit their website victoria.rasc.ca.

Information of Science Venture can be found at scienceventure.ca.

A new hope for Victoria’s young astronomers

Summer camps begin at the Centre of the Universe

Page 5: May 8, 2014

EDITORIAL

Editorial topics are decided on by staff at our editorial meetings, held weekly in the Martlet office (SUB B011). Editorials are written by one or more staff members and are not necessarily the opinion of all staff members.

Happy? Sad? Enraged? Tell us: [email protected]

The Martlet has an open letter policy and will endeavour to publish letters received from the university and local community. Letters must be sub-mitted by email, include your real name and affiliation to UVic and have “Letter to the editor” in the subject line. Letters must be under 200 words and may be edited.

If you have an opinion or a letter to share, send it to [email protected]

May 8, 2014 MARTLET • OPINIONS 5

OPINIONS

MADELINE BARBER

As I’m nearing my 22nd birthday, I’ve been called upon to decide how I’d like to spend it. Easy: delicious food, a lot of drinks, and the com-pany of my favourite people.

“You’re not going downtown?” several friends ask me.

“No,” I inform them, “I am not.” For the first time since becom-

ing legal, I’ll be spending my day of birth in my abode, swigging wine in front of a crackling fire. Maybe this is the way you have always celebrated your birthday, and there’s a very good chance you’re cooler than me.

Perhaps this year’s change has been a long time coming; my club-bing days have almost entirely come to an end, save for the odd show at

Sugar. Gone are the nights I craved to throw on a short dress and tear up the dance floor at Touch, the only reminder a sweaty club photo on Facebook.

Don’t get me wrong: I still love to dance. I just prefer to do it at more low-key venues where guys don’t think buying me a drink is a ticket to fondle-town (swing dance with the rowdy older folks at Swan’s, anyone?).

Secretly, I’ve always thought that the pre-drink is more fun than arriving at the night’s intended downtown locale. Think about it—you can listen to exactly the songs you like, you can have real, audi-ble conversations with people, and you’re already with people you enjoy.

Perhaps I’ve just gotten lazy, opt-ing for jeans that don’t hug my ass just so, and being okay with that. I confess, I cannot remember the last time I used something other than my fingers to comb my hair, and the thought of curling it exhausts me. Have I lost my joie de vivre? Am I prematurely entering my eventual fate of dowdy cat lady? I have asked myself these questions honestly and the answer is no.

Because there is nothing wrong with enjoying the simpler, quieter side of life. I will relish serving my birthday guests the vegetarian delights I concocted just for them. I will drink generously but not to the point of blacking out. And I will likely hit the hay well before 2 a.m.

Party like it’s my 36th birthday

WILLIAM WORKMAN (PHOTO)

KLARA WOLDENGA

THE LENS

MARY ROBERTSON (GRAPHIC)

Nowadays, it’s easy to put off declaration until just before graduation. The stu-dents who planned their timetables got to graduate. Those who forgot a course had to stay behind. It wasn’t always like this. Prior to June 2002, students in these faculties had to declare by the end of their second year. But that requirement was nixed, allowing students to declare just before graduation. However, by this time next year, incoming students might have to pick their classes with a bit more care.

On May 2, the UVic Senate passed a motion that will require many future students to declare their majors earlier. As of May 2015, students in the faculties of Science and Social Sciences will declare their majors by the end of their first year, and stu-dents in Humanities will declare by the end of their second. Administrators and professors believe that the timely declaration of majors will encourage students to plan their academic paths more closely and will better acquaint students with university resources and staff. They raise a good point.

Let’s face it: most students either don’t have the time or the interest to look beyond their own coursework when it comes to their education. If a procedural matter can be delayed, it’ll get delayed, but too much procrastination can be a dangerous thing. The new proposal won’t set your major in stone, though. You can still change your major as you see fit, and you can even declare as “explora-tory” and buy yourself some time. The university will finally eliminate paper declaration forms and move the process online, so students don’t have to make the trip to Academic Advising for a same-day appointment. Students will be bet-ter able to track their own progress, as all students can now access Curriculum, Advising, and Program Planning (CAPP) reports, these currently being only acces-sible to those who’ve already declared (a needless barrier). It might also ease the financial burden of students, who won’t be surprised to find they have to stay a fifth year to complete their degree.

Declaring early might be a little scary, but it asks that students take their educa-tion a little more seriously. We’re not saying that all students are twiddling their thumbs, jumping aimlessly from course to course, if they haven’t declared at the first opportunity. There were many procedural hurdles to declaration, including prerequisite courses and timetable conflicts. The University says that barriers to declaration will be removed, but students have had to deal with unintuitive course selection tools for years. A well-planned and automated process that alerts students to possible minors, timetable conflicts, and barriers to graduation would be a wonderful thing.

One possible concern involves locking students in. While you can still change your major at any time, asking students to come to terms with their academic choices might preclude experimentation, as “the path” is presumably much clearer, and deviating from it might be seen as wrong. Hopefully, those in their first year will still experiment and try many disciplines. Most 18-year-olds end up changing their minds anyway. If declaring so soon is a real barrier, perhaps a year off is best.

Earlier declaration won’t solve all problems, and the university could always do more to help students with these profound choices. Better informing students about courses with past course outlines or examining the feasibility of a course-shopping week or preview classes might help. Students should be able to access counsellors without prohibitive wait times, and little-known yet helpful resources (like the Career Exploration Group for those unsure of their paths) should be advertised to students. The university has decided that declaring earlier would benefit students, and if they provide the appropriate resources and implement it in the right way, they might be right.

Major decisions

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6 FEATURE • MARTLET May 8, 2014

MIND GAMESDrama and deceit in fantasy sports

Story by Graydon Leigh

or many Canadians, the Stanley Cup is the silver chalice closest to their hearts. However, this particular resident of the Great White North possesses another grail that—in his eyes—rivals Lord Stanley’s mug in majesty.

Although its material origin is merely a trophy store called “Showcase,” not far from downtown

Victoria, it was forged into an object of great importance in the chasm of a good buddy’s living room. The idea to start a fantasy hockey league among friends spawned at some point during last August’s heat wave. But its function as a vital part of my social life didn’t take effect until October’s fantasy draft.

Nine of my closest friends and I combined to form the “Garrison Cup” (in honour of our favourite Canucks defence-man)—the world’s fi rst. This past year, our league’s inaugural season, saw rivalries formed out of mouse, keyboard, and the desire to prove oneself a shining beacon of hockey knowledge. Our draft took place at a roommate’s fl at, where chips and pizza (obviously) were shared between competitors ranging from age 19 to 50. As the selection process moved forward, our desper-ate trades shattered the barrier between fantasy and reality. A coveted pick was exchanged for a case of beer; a car wash cou-pon changed hands for Canucks centre Ryan Kesler.

Fast forward seven months. The playoffs changed our attitudes about the pool and how we approached each head-to-head matchup. Our friendships never faltered, but we hurled hilarious threats at one another on a daily basis, the experience offering a glimpse into what it’d be like to partake in the ruthless on-ice barrage of verbal abuse.

Dan Ostrovsky, a Garrison Cup hopeful, remembers a time that the boundary separating friend and foe was challenged.

“I was updating my roster, and a friend tried to mess with my head. He questioned every player on my bench and roster. I ended up tuning him out, but the trash talking he dished out

really made me question my decisions.” The banter didn’t stop with these two. One friend of mine

went so far as to lie to me about the end of his relationship, preying on my caring nature, hoping that I’d lose on purpose to console him. Luckily, my insatiable appetite for victory allowed me to see through his manipulation.

Some say that fantasy drafting originated in New York, where two baseball-loving buddies engineered the inner-workings of a Rotisserie league (named for the seedy French restaurant they would meet at) on the back of a napkin. This being 1963, the Internet was unable to lend its services to expedite the process. Conversely, others have postulated the international phenom-enon began with the rise of computer sports simulations in the 1980s. Regardless, the mystery surrounding its birthplace can-not but add to fantasy sport’s allure. Now, UVic students can connect with professional athletes in a way that past genera-tions only dreamed of.

Consider that a recent study found that over 32.5 million peo-ple in North America had at least one team registered. That’s right, nearly the population of Canada logs in everyday to cel-ebrate and curse professional athletes whose actual statistics translate into virtual points. What’s more, a large portion of these faux analysts ride a great deal of their real-world dollars on the players who inhabit these mock rosters. While the professional sports industry boasts a collective net worth that sits somewhere between $600 and 750 billion, its fantasy counterpart is worth upwards of $3 billion.

These leagues enable friends from all over the world to clash and unite in a season-long struggle to reach the fi nish line. The phenomenon is beginning to cross into the mainstream, as demonstrated by TV shows like The League. The show, in its fi fth season on FX, has spawned new quips like “double entendre,” “rankings slave,” and “the Sacko,” that have worked themselves into the day-to-day lingo of both hard- and soft-core fantasy leaguers’ trash-talking vernaculars.

“I kept calling my mom a ‘recipe slave,’ because she refuses to cook anything without a cookbook,” Ostrovsky recounts. “It

was a play on the term ‘rankings slave’ in the show, which makes fun of fantasy leaguers who draft their teams mainly using the preset host site’s player rankings list. She didn’t get it, but the next two hours of studying were made easier because of it.”

Tech-fueled competitions like fantasy sports have always fea-tured irreplaceable offerings of drama; just look at the millions of dollars spent on video games like Madden NFL. As of 2012, consumers have spent over $20 billion on virtual avatars that represent real-world athletes. Thanks to technological innova-tion, the boundary between reality and fantasy has started to blur. Heck, just look at the laptop screens of sleepy university students. In a 200-person lecture hall, fantasy sports rosters jockey with class notes for screen time on student laptops.

Johnnie Regalado, the program director at CFUV 101.9, UVic’s campus radio station, has also been drawn into the fantasy sports phenomenon. As the most recent winner of his friend’s hockey pool, he admits how rewarding the sweet taste of fantasy victory can be.

“My initial response was defi nitely excitement and joy.” Regalado’s strategy was simply to take “the best available hockey players, no matter what,” he says. “To end up winning was extremely satisfying, because I felt like my strategy literally paid off. It certainly made it feel like there was more than luck involved.”

This level of passion has surged among “poolies” ever since that fi rst Rotisserie baseball league started roughly 50 years ago; in short, fantasy sports have become a part of mainstream popular culture and appear to only be gaining momentum. Any intramural athlete who’s experienced Thursday night’s competi-tive ball hockey league or 3-on-3 basketball game can attest to the rush offered by a beautiful goal or game-winning basket. It’s not unlike witnessing a goaltender on your fantasy roster pick up a well-deserved shutout.

However, the poolies walking the halls of UVic aren’t just playing guessing games. Like high-stakes poker and blackjack, fantasy sports require analytical skill. Thankfully, there’s help. For starters, all online fantasy sports websites deploy an army

F

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May 8, 2014 MARTLET • FEATURE 7

Illustration by Klara Woldenga

of writers to keep up to date on the sporting world; analysts are paid quite handsomely to publish these coveted fi ndings. However, these suited spectators aren’t soothsayers, a real-ity that has doomed countless well-drafted teams. Important sources include team sites, extensive fantasy guides and the colourful worlds of Sportsnet Connected and SportsCentre. For me, as someone who was raised on Hockey Night in Canada every Saturday night—putting fi ve bucks into a fantasy pool is worth sacrifi cing the footlong sub that would’ve otherwise been purchased.

Of the many different formats in fantasy sports, three domi-nate. One is the head-to-head style used in the Garrison Cup, in which competitors are matched up against one another each week. This injects a refi ned brand of personality into proceed-ings, as each match up necessitates a healthy dose of the trash talking and confl ict that you’ll fi nd in real sports. Then, there are points-based competitions, which emulate the standings model used in professional soccer, in which each statistic has a points value. At season’s end, the team at the top of the table takes home the gold. Finally, there’s the rotisserie structure. In this format, most popular among baseball enthusiasts, the objective is to score the most in any given number of categories. Winning RBIs, for example, would garner 10 points, while having the third-most home runs would award six. It really doesn’t matter which variation is used; assuming that each player is in it to win it, the natural impulse of animalistic competition will take care of the rest.

After successfully repelling my friend’s twisted manoeuvre to use a fake breakup as competitive leverage, I found myself in the fi nals. Since our league’s format had us face off against one another in weekly head-to-head matchups, the seven days that followed introduced to me a blend of excitement and stress that I didn’t know existed. There were 10 columns, one for each of us, measuring statistics including goals and points. For me to win, my players would have to ensure that more than half the columns bore the name “ThunderGunninMachine” (a reference to It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia) by week’s end.

As Sunday approached, I led in only three of the columns. To my chagrin, the goaltenders I had played boasted less than stellar stats thus far. My chances were slim, and if my name were to be engraved on the Garrison Cup, the stars would have to align. My only hope rested on the well-padded shoulders of Columbus Blue Jackets goaltender Sergei Bobrovsky. The day progressed, and I avoided the online fantasy hub as if my very existence depended on it. The fear of defeat began to grip me.

A few lopsided trades favoured a certain treacherous char-acter (a.k.a. a particularly manipulative league member), and pandemonium erupted in chat rooms and on message boards. The reason: he manipulated another participant into forgoing some quality players with a complimentary Instagram post. He lifted his trading partner’s mood, rendering him more willing to give up better players. The league commissioner was called to veto the trades, but they stood. The sense of betrayal felt around the league was suffocating. Ever since that day, the more devoted league members have kept a watchful eye on the player transactions tab.

Like Ostrovsky’s mother, not everyone shares in this love of fantasy sports. Recent UVic graduate Ben Fast, 22, lost interest in it as his homework intensifi ed. In an email, he noted that the demands of an honours BA in history didn’t allow enough time to update his roster.

“I enjoyed the in-person draft aspect more than anything else,” he explained. “I think fantasy sports are only successful if they can keep your attention throughout the entire season, for the casual fan will not dedicate large chunks of time to regularly reviewing statistics.”

Study-time confl icts aside, the statistical aspect of fantasy sports can better one’s numerical literacy (calculating a goal-tender’s goals-against-average is no easy task). Calculating Roberto Luongo’s save percentage is good practice for div-vying up utility bills among roommates. Even though DeMar DeRozan’s fi eld-goal percentage won’t surface on any UVic exam, the calculations used in determining that answer could transfer into the academic realm. A recent study assessing how

fantasy sports knowledge can aid students found that “75 per cent of the teachers agreed that students understood math con-cepts more when they used fantasy sports.”

Many educational programs, including Fantasy Sports and Mathematics, combine fantasy sports with math concepts to provide elementary and high school students real-life statistical examples. Students are given the autonomy to draft and groom their own roster, both individually and as part of a team—two radically different processes that are designed to develop valu-able attributes in middle schoolers. Blending education into the rampantly popularizing world of fantasy sports has demon-strated benefi ts to the development of time management, asset valuation, and communication skills.

Besides the educational advantages, the pastime offers an intersection between the rock ’n’ roll lifestyles of the millionaire athletes we fawn over and the manufactured realities that tech-nology continues to develop both online and in video games. Granted, those who remain skeptical about this man-child infused betting game can successfully avoid participating with relative ease, but the medium continues to gain momentum, a predicament that has begun to affect the working world. As UVic students celebrate the end of another semester, those enjoying classroom success should note that career prosperity depends on much more than a fi nely tuned GPA. In fact, the term “it’s all about who you know” is true. Memorizing Tom Brady’s stat-line might just seal that internship, if the hiring manager is also a Patriots fan.

When I could avoid the game no longer, I tuned into TSN and found that Bobrovsky, my goalie, had recorded a shutout. I rushed to my MacBook, my face like an expectant mother in her 16th hour of labour. The fantasy gods had favoured me on this day. The stat-line for the goaltender’s goals-against-average (which tracks the percentage of saves a goalie makes for every shot they face) was tied, but my name remained in bold. I had won the category, and thus the Cup, by one-thirteenth of a save. To commemorate this good fortune, I’ve cut out one-thirteenth of a puck.

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CULTURE Go to martlet.ca to find exclusive web content and more.

8 CULTURE • MARTLET May 8, 2014

KATLYN GOEUJON-MACKNESS

On Saturday, April 5, comedian Danny Bhoy graced Victoria with his presence at our own Royal Theatre, which I had the opportu-nity—nay—the pleasure to watch. Having been a huge comedy fan since my first experience with Just for Laughs when I was but a girl, Bhoy’s work is not unfamiliar to me, and I was quite looking forward to the performance.

The show started out well, and it wasn’t long before I was gig-gling and “oh my”-ing in my seat. Unfortunately, to no fault of Mr. Bhoy’s, I happen to have found myself seated behind the largest head in the city of Victoria, which was in turn behind the second-largest head in the city of Victoria. It almost made me question what they are putting in our water.

Dangers of widespread gigantism aside, Bhoy has a very charismatic stage presence, interacting with audience members and waving his arms about the stage with the skill and ease of someone who has been doing so for the past 16 years. Indeed, his energy was strong despite Victoria being the last stop on a country-wide tour. His comedic timing is something to write home about (you might even say it’s something to write an article about), and the show had a fluidity that made you forget what a segue even ever was. It seems as though

Bhoy has this stand-up comedy thing down to a (stand-up) science.

But herein lies the issue: the show was mechanical. The spe-cific formula it followed, full of strategic digressions, forced refer-ences to earlier jokes, and timed “audience reactions,” is almost a trope. Considering the spontane-ous nature of stand-up comedy, I would have liked to see less to-the-moment scripting.

The show, which was titled “Dear Epson . . . “ revolved around a series of letters that Bhoy said he wrote to various companies, such as Epson, Olay, and British Airways, and read them to the audience beside an antique desk. It was a magnificent bit that started out hilariously; I especially loved his letter to Olay in regards to their Age-Reversal Cream asking, first of all, why this wasn’t headline news, before talk-ing about the real meaning behind “clinically proven.”

It wasn’t long, however, before the bit began to get old. While an interesting way to frame the jokes, they weren’t quite strong enough to hold up an entire show. Over the course of 90 minutes, I believe that Bhoy read a total of about eight letters, each one a little bit more stale than the last, finishing off with a rather charming note to his young self that wrapped up the show nicely.

Overall, Danny Bhoy’s perfor-mance was well-rehearsed, and

well-delivered. The jokes were light, goofy, and entertaining; the audience responded with delight. However, the formulaic nature of the show made me feel like there

was very little variance between this one and any other on his tour. Though Bhoy is clearly a very funny man who has a captivating stage presence, this show did little to

separate itself from any other for me, or leave me with very much to take away. I give it three out of five stars.

Dear Epson…Danny Bhoy displays his stand-up science

PROVIDED (PHOTO)

BLAKE MORNEAU

These days, the bloated, lifeless corpse of rock and roll is inescap-able. Our radios have been given over to mediocrity and dreamless sleep, with very little sustenance for our desperate, aural hearts. But every once in awhile some-one comes along to remind us of the vitality of rock and roll—the power and the edge. Songwriter and powerful guitar player Greg MacPherson is one of those people.

“Rock and roll music is supposed to have a sense of danger and pos-sibility, the sense of taking some risks. That’s the same with life,” says MacPherson, talking to me from his home in Winnipeg. “Life, par-ticularly played out in rock and roll music—I think hip hop has it too—[is] all about taking risks and trying to push the envelope somehow.

There’s an energy that attracts me. I don’t listen to rock and roll music to just chill out. I want to be moved. I want to get kicked in the head. It should be like a defibrillator, like a jolt. It should be inspiring.”

MacPherson’s biography and art are both examples of rock and roll life, filled with challenges that are met with constant vigour. He runs a non-profit in the Winnipeg inner-city and runs his own record label (Disintegration Records), while cre-ating energetic music and touring to support it. I am exhausted just listening to him rattle off everything he does. This isn’t an accident. MacPherson’s focus is both intense and admirable, a rare quality in an increasingly distracted world.

“I remember when Joe Strummer died, in 2002, and he was 50. I remember thinking at the time, ‘Holy shit, I’ll be 30. What if I only

have 15, 20 years left,’ you know?” reflects MacPherson. “I have had a bunch of friends over the years die quite young, and it always strikes me that I’d like to do a lot in this life and get a bunch of shit done. Do some interesting work and maybe make the world better somewhere, at least tread lightly and not hurt things more than I’m helping them.”

His new record, Fireball, is a furi-ous blast of guitar-driven, kinetic energy (not to mention that it’s one of the best Canadian rock records of this almost-half-over decade). The album is dense and heavy, tackling life head-on with thun-derous guitars, a monstrous drum sound, and refreshingly straightfor-ward lyrics.

“I had a pretty heavy turn in my life over the last couple years and that’s reflected on the record . . . I’m

working around folks who are really committed. All my colleagues and I here are working with people in our community who are struggling. Their lives are incredibly difficult or fascinating or inspiring or frustrat-ing. I think that stuff filtered into the record in a big way.”

The sounds on Fireball are just as big as the words, rarely letting up to give the listener a peaceful breath. It’s how MacPherson attacks music both live and in studio. “I go into a recording session trying to do it as live as possible but still being okay with changing a couple things here and there. But the bed tracks are always live.”

Live—good rock music is all about that little four-letter word. You can make all the great records you want, but if you can’t translate them to the live setting, you’ve lost the spirit of rock and roll.

Few acts come with the ferocity of MacPherson, who often tours as a duo with his drummer Rob Gardiner. “I respect any kind of playing. But the most excitement I get from seeing a band play is when someone is just about hurt-ing themselves and you don’t know what’s going to happen to that per-son on stage. Like, ‘Jesus, are they going to fall into the audience? Is he going to break the guitar? Is he going to smash his teeth on the microphone? Holy shit, take it easy, man,’” MacPherson says with a laugh, which is odd to me. After talking with MacPherson, it seems that he attacks all aspects of his life with the same relentless energy as the singer climbing the scaffolding or the drummer splitting his knuck-les open on the cymbals. We, the listeners, and the world of rock music, are all the better for it.

The Fireball spirit of rock and rollGreg MacPherson brings his vitality to Victoria

Page 9: May 8, 2014

May 8, 2014 MARTLET • CULTURE 9

MICHEL GHANEM

Having listened to Edmonton-based singer/songwriter Kaley Bird’s latest album before our interview, it was clear that the honest voice on the album was the same one talking to me on the phone. Bird released her second album, Don’t Say You’re Sorry, on Jan. 10, 2014. The 10-track record was inspired by the experiences, and par-ticularly the struggles, that defi ned her career since her debut self-titled release in 2008.

Bird’s producer Russell Broom compares her style to a prairie-folkie Morrissey, and each track focuses on themes of personal growth and moving forward. The record is classifi ed as alter-native country, or contemporary folk, but she is not limited to those genres.

Her unique vocals and varying arrangements and melodies create a unique atmosphere for each song. Bird’s willingness to be honest with herself and her audience about her personal experiences make for a solid record.

Bird’s musical career started with small open mic opportunities through-out the summer following her fi rst year of university, which led to a radio-funded grant that fi nanced her debut record.

“After my fi rst record I toured for three years non-stop and I had been across Canada a couple times. After the last tour, I ended up producing a successful festival called SOS Fest,” Bird said.

As the primary director and driv-ing force behind SOS Fest, Bird built the Canadian music festival from the ground up, with the help of artists and collaborators. After a successful fi rst year, Bird pursued other contracts and opportunities outside of the festival. Her resignation caused the festival to crumble.

“I’ve had bad breakups and been hurt before, but when I was no longer able to work with that project, it was really hard on me. I was like, ‘This is worse than any breakup.’ It was some-thing I had worked on so hard, for so long,” she said.

Her experience with the festival inspired “SOS,” the seventh song from the record, and a defi nite highlight on the album.

Following her heartbreaking expe-rience with the festival, Bird moved away from her hometown and took a well-deserved break from the music scene. Her own favourite track from the record, “Not Feeling This,” refl ects her desire to move on.

“When I was writing it, I was in a bit of rut, and I just knew I was in need of change, and not to get caught up with myself. It speaks really true to me and how I approach things,” she said.

During her time abroad, she contin-ued to write and began entering casual pre-production sessions for her record with Broom. It took her two years, but when it was completed, she knew she was ready to re-enter the music scene.

“We work on the songs and we get them up to where we feel the arrange-ments are really good, the keys are really good, the tempos are right. Sometimes you have to sit with that for a little bit in order to really know if that’s

the right direction for the song or not,” Broom said.

He describes the recording process as done in spurts. They met regularly during the course of a month, but did not see each other for six weeks fol-lowing their sessions. The result is a perspective on the recorded mate-rial that may not have developed otherwise, “a deeper sense of if the song feels right or not,” he said.

Bird admits the order of the songs on her album have defi nite purpose. She wanted to grow from her resignation at SOS Fest, move away to rebuild herself, and come out in the end with an ulti-mate passion for music and a love for her hometown.

The closing track for the album, “Song for Matt,” is dedicated to Matt Cook, a high school friend of hers and a promising junior hockey player. Diagnosed with osteosarcoma, the same cancer that cost Terry Fox his leg, Cook transitioned to sledge hockey after his own leg had to be amputated. He had hoped to compete in the 2010 Paralympic Games, but his cancer

spread and he died a month after the Games were fi nished.

Cook serves as an important source of inspiration for Bird. “Whenever I feel sorry for myself and my ‘poor touring artist lifestyle,’ I always just think of how lucky I am and how there is no reason for me to complain,” she said.

Overall, her album represents “mov-ing on to the next best thing,” she said. The mix of acoustics, guitar, and soothing vocals makes for an honest, emotional listening experience.

“Every single song I write is about me—directly or indirectly related to an experience I had. It’s therapeutic for myself, and helps me refl ect on it and deal with it.”

Bird plans to continue touring throughout the summer, and fi nding a balance in her life in the midst of pursu-ing music actively.

“I always feel like the best is com-ing. The songs refl ect where I was, not where I am now. I don’t fi nd it hard to be public about it, because those expe-riences don’t defi ne me. It’s liberating and exciting.”

Growth defines Kaley Bird’s latest recordPROVIDED (PHOTO)

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Page 10: May 8, 2014

SPORTS | LIFESTYLE

10 Sports | Lifestyle • MARTLET May 8, 2014

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JEFFREY SCHWARTZ

Well, that was fun, wasn’t it? The last 20 years or so have been

spent in various classrooms, but now, you are walking off campus for the last time. Pretty soon, you’ll be taking your first steps into the real world. Don’t fall!

Seriously, don’t fall. The first few months after gradu-

ation can be tough, especially if

you aren’t walking into a high-pay-ing job. You will have to make some serious financial decisions going forward that could set the tone for the rest of your life. Scared yet?

Don’t worry, because here are a few tips that will help you avoid stepping into the real world on the wrong financial foot.

IT’S CALLED WORK—DO ITGraduation doesn’t mean you have more time to spend re-watching Breaking Bad and playing Candy Crush. You need to get a job. Shocking, eh? The reasons are two-fold. First, you have bills to pay. Rent, cable, Internet, your bar tab

. . . they all need to be paid. And second, you need experience. Working will show that you under-stand the value of a paycheque, and every piece of experience can be adapted to fit your next poten-tial job. For example, if you apply to a bank after spending a few months working at Dairy Queen, your ice cream serving experi-ence is suddenly “experience in handling time-sensitive assets in a fast-paced environment.” Sounds good, right?

DEBT IS NOT YOUR FRIENDThose pieces of plastic in your wal-let can be your downfall. Credit

was created so that we can buy what we can’t afford. Don’t fall into that trap. Just because you are no longer a student, it doesn’t mean you need a new set of golf clubs, a 65-inch 3D television and a sub-scription to a “caviar of the week” club. With the high interest rates on credit purchases, you will end up paying much more than you need to for anything you buy. Staying out of debt comes down to a really sim-ple rule—spend less than you earn.

SAVEDepositing money in a bank account doesn’t usually get fea-tured in a Kanye West video, but

it really is the wisest decision when you are young. Setting aside a con-sistent percentage of your earnings (say, 10–15 per cent), will put you on the path to financial success. First, that money is going to earn inter-est and multiply if you don’t touch it. Second, it’s going to be there to bail you out if you hit some tough times. One reason people get into financial trouble is because they don’t have a safety net when they lose their job or have unexpected expenses. Building up some sav-ings now will help you get through the tough times without having to go into debt to do it.

Out of the classroom and into the real worldFinancial advice for the newly graduated

ZOE COLLIER (GRAPHIC)

ALEX KURIAL

The Victoria Conference Centre played host to the Vikes Athletics Awards Banquet on April 1, held each year to honour the achieve-ments of hundreds of UVic’s varsity athletes.

The gala event was MCed by Jordan Cunningham and Mira Laurence from CTV Vancouver Island sports. Those of us lucky enough to attend were treated to Laurence’s trademark humour, while also enjoy-ing Cunningham’s flawless rendition of the Gangnam Style dance.

There was, however, plenty of serious business on the evening’s

agenda, from the awards themselves to the induction of three former Vikes athletes into the UVic Sports Hall of Fame.

Jan Crook was inducted for her tireless work advancing the women’s field hockey program at UVic as both a player and coach. The other induct-ees, David Docherty and Bruce Howe, both of whom coached the UVic men’s rugby team from 1978–1991, were acknowledged together for their successful tenure, which fea-tured three Barnard Cup titles.

The prestigious athlete of the year awards highlighted the night, and were awarded to two worthy recipi-ents. On the men’s side, Terrell Evans

captured the title in his final year rep-resenting UVic. During his basketball career with the Vikes, he helped lead the team to multiple CIS Final Eight appearances, and was also named a First Team CIS All-Canadian.

The women’s top award was won by track star Rachel Francois. Francois capped another stellar year by winning the 600-metre race at the CIS championships, and was also part of the gold medal UVic team in the 4x800-metre relay. She was given CIS First Team All-Canadian honours for her efforts.

Andrew Ravenhill of the men’s soc-cer team also won big that evening, taking home the Chancellor’s Award,

which recognizes outstanding lead-ership and contribution to a sport, which Ravenhill certainly exemplified.

Ravenhill played five seasons with the Vikes soccer team, a run that included capturing the CIS national title in 2011. One of the undisputed leaders on the team, Ravenhill was noted for his strong play that earned him MLS attention, along with his work in developing younger players on the team.

The evening celebrated dozens of other recipients as well, each of whom demonstrated not only UVic’s standout athletic talents, but also the dedication embodied by the best of UVic.

Vikes shine at athletics banquetAthletes past and present honoured

Page 11: May 8, 2014

HUMOUR Did we give you a little chirp? If you’ve got something funny to say, let us know at [email protected]

May 8, 2014 MARTLET • HUMOUR 11

KLARA WOLDENGA

HUMOUR—Piece of Mind (POM), a non-profit organization that sends brains to Third World countries, held a press conference yesterday asking the public for their support and donations. According to exec-utive director James Howard, the organization has seen a dramatic drop in donations over the past six months.

“We are urging our citizens to donate generously in this time of need,” said Howard. According to their Annual Report, the organiza-tion was meeting or exceeding its donation goals for the past five years. “We were doing very well during the rise of smartphones, TLC reality shows, and Angry Birds,” said Howard. “In the past, a large percentage of people were will-ing to give up the majority of their brain because they just weren’t using it.” But despite their past success, POM has recently encoun-tered a large decline in donations.

The organization helps those in Africa and South America by pro-viding excess brains that people in First World countries can donate anonymously. These brains are

distributed in the hope that their citizens will utilize the brain mat-ter more than those who donated them. “In places where there are few or no schools or universities it seems like a waste to not donate what we don’t use as a country,” said Howard. “We can’t help by offering aid to help them build their own schools as that is much too compli-cated and requires a long attention span. This is the next best thing.” But despite good intentions, POM is struggling as an organization. “With the rise of the new shows like Cosmos, our donations are quickly shrinking,” said Howard. “Michael Bay hasn’t released a huge blockbuster movie since 2011 and fewer people are watching tel-evision. We aren’t sure how we are going to meet our goals if people aren’t going to donate their brain because they are already using it.”

Though the future might seem grim for POM, Howard remains hopeful that the public will respond positively and donate to those in need. “We know that even with Cosmos on the air and the rise of Netflix, reality shows like Here Comes Honey Boo Boo and the recent Transformers films are here

to stay.” Along with the conference, POM

is planning to raise awareness by creating a reality show fundraising campaign called Survivor: Pledge Edition where their board of direc-tors will be trapped on an island surrounded by man-eating shark-bear infested waters. Each person will be forced to complete horrid tasks like eating their old tooth-brushes and listening to the music they thought was cool when they were teenagers. Viewers can call or text in to vote and are given more voting power based on the amount of their own brain they donate. Howard admits he is nervous about the task, but he is determined to do what needs to be done.

“The Third World needs us and can utilize that brain matter bet-ter than we can. We just need to reach out and find those forgot-ten mindless audiences and ask for donations.”

When asked if the Third World actually needed or even wanted First World brains Howard said “I don’t know, I haven’t really thought about it. I’ve just been marathoning shows on Netflix for the past couple weeks.”

Non-profit organization urges public to donate more brains

EMILY THIESSEN (GRAPHIC)

Distinct from Victorians, the tourist is a unique breed of human native to places all over the world. To identify a possible tourist, look closely; they can look a lot like regular humans, but with a few distinct characteristics.

1 They walk around with a vague look of dazed confusion.Other characteristics include gazing upwardly for uncomfort-able lengths of time and walking blindly behind outstretched maps of Victoria.

2 They stop their cars to take pictures of deer. If only they knew . . .

3 They wear stupid hats with brims large enough to shelter a family of four.I would like to know where a human even goes to purchase such hats. Maybe they have them tailor-made by blind monks.

4 They take up every inch of sidewalk possible. It doesn’t matter if they are walking in a herd of six or three, they will literally zig-zag if they have to.

5 They walk into Serious Coffee “just to browse.” That is a true story.

6 They mispronounce the names of streets and neighbourhoods hilariously. “Excuse me, how do I get to Soh-kee?”

7 Whatever the opposite of the speed of light is, that is how fast they are walking. I swear, I can’t make this stuff up.

8 Their beards are made of mayonnaise. Okay, I made that one up.

9 They will buy anything for any price.

I’m not saying that I’ve never spent $12 on a drink at Bard and Banker, but seriously.

10 They are literally wearing fanny packs.

Literally.

KATLYN GOEUJON-MACKNESS

A-LIST

10 ways to spot a tourist

Page 12: May 8, 2014

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The Martlet Publishing Society is an incorporated B.C. society and operates based on our Statement of Principles. We strive to act as an agent of construc-tive social change and will not publish racist, sexist, homophobic or otherwise oppressive copy.

VOLUME 67 ISSUE 1

Martlet (SUB B011)P.O. BOX 3035 University of VictoriaVictoria, B.C. V8W 3P3

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Hugo [email protected]

PRODUCTION CO-ORDINATOR William [email protected]

BUSINESS MANAGER Erin [email protected]

DISTRIBUTIONErin Ball, Sharon Smiley, Klara Woldenga, Jon-Paul Zacharias

COPY EDITORJon-Paul Zacharias

WEB MEDIA SPECIALISTJeremy Vernon

CONTRIBUTORSMadeline Barber, Taryn Brownell, Janine Crockett, Zoe Collier, Max D‘Ambrosio, Michel Ghanem, Katlyn Goeujon-Mackness, Adam Hayman, Chorong Kim, Alex Kurial, Graydon Leigh, Angel Manguerra, Blake Morneau, Mary Robertson, Emily Thiessen, Jeffrey Schwartz, Shandi Shiach, Klara Woldenga

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