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One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalam alaikum, I am going to marry next year, Insha Allah, andI want that my marriage should be according to Quran &Sunnah. Would you please explain if so called rasm, like Mehndi,Sehra bandi, Ubtan, etc are valid. Also what is permitted to takeas gift in dowry. Thanks for your efforts! Allah hafiz.

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Answer:

Marriage Rasms

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask forHis forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, andwhoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. Webear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave,no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but

Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is Hisslave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

The marriage of a believer, who wants to perform the ritesaccording to the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws),should be simple, decent, and non-elaborate.

The real thing in a muslim marriage is the Nikah contract,followed by a walima or marriage feast, which is a Sunnah. Butone must take care to make sure that the walima or marriagefeast is simple and decent, and not be an excuse to show off hiswealth and position in society.

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The marriage is a joyous occasion in the life of any believer, andan occasion for celebration. Thus, there is absolutely no harm ifthe women of the house put Mehndi, or Ubtan, etc. Neither isthere any harm in the rites of Sehra Bandi, etc. But none ofthese should be made into an elaborate and expensive affair.And all times, the believer must take care that in the pretext offollowing these rasms, they do not overstep the boundaries setby the Shariah. There should be absolutely no mixing of thesexes, or illegal music and dance sequences, or any indecencywhatsoever.

There is absolutely no harm if the women get together and playthe daff (an Arabic version of tabla), or sing decent marriagesongs; provided there is absolutely no mixed gathering of non-mehram men and women. The marriage is a joyous occasionand all kinds of legal celebrations are allowed, as long as onestays within the boundaries set by Allah and His Messenger.

Your Question: Also what is permitted to take as gift in dowry.

In Islam, all, I repeat, all the expenses related to marriage, mehr,feast, jewelry, furniture, housing, etc. are laid upon the man.There is absolutely no obligation for any expenses which shouldbe occurred by the girl or her family. If without any sort of forceor hints whatsoever, the family of the bride gives her any gifts,then there is no harm in accepting those. But for the man, or hisfamily, to demand or hint towards any sort of gifts (even it be asvalueless as a pebble), it is absolutely forbidden to do so in

Islam. And if the man declares that he will not accept anythingfrom the bride and her family as expenses, gifts, and/or dowry,then it will be better and purer for him in Islam.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to AllahsAssistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. AllahAlone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

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Your brother and well wisher in Islam,