Life & Times Spring 2016 Edition

Dr. Femi Saliu, our Health Columnistis a board certified anesthesiologist atone of Los Angeles's top hospitals andhas been in medical practice for thelast 21 years. After graduating fromObafemi Awolowo College of HealthSciences he received advanced med-ical training from Howard Universityin Pediatrics and from Charles DrewMedical University in Anesthesiology.Dr. Saliu went back to the village hegrew up in Nigeria some weeks ago inthe course of gathering materials towrite his memoirs. He left the village46 years ago. While at the village, visit-ing the old communal compoundwhere he grew up, which was still theold rustic house he left four decadesplus ago, in more dilapidated statethan he remembered it, he met a manwho closely looked at him, face lit upin recollection and announced inYoruba- "Are you not the keroseneseller, don't you remember me!" Mem-ories flooded back for Dr. Saliu and heclosely looked at the man who wassupposed to be about his age, but bentwith lack of care and age and recol-lected that this was a friend he left inthe village 46 years ago as a teenagerto go to school and pursue his life'sdreams. This was a friend who stayedin his comfort zone and refused to sailuncharted oceans or dared to climbany treacherous mountains in life.Dr. Saliu left the village where he soldkerosene for pennies in bottles 46years ago, dared to live his dreamsand has become who he is today. Hisfriend stayed in his comfort zone, livesin the same communal compoundwhere he probably does not pay anyrent or mortgage and does not have tobuy food and did not have to worry

about passing exams and work sched-ules etc..

Dr. Saliu's story also mirrors the storyof our cover subject for this edition.Mr. Kenny Ojute who attended YabaCollege of Technology, receiving aHigher National Diploma in Account-ing. Even with this attainment, Kennywas not done with his education, in-stead choosing to attend the Univer-sity of Lagos for his Master’s degree inBusiness Administration in Finance,and California State a Master’s de-gree in Business Administration inBusiness, fields he had been interestedin since his childhood.

A proud member of the Institute ofChartered Accountants of Nigeria,Kenny worked several years for theShell Petroleum Development Com-pany of Nigeria as a Senior Account-ant before he moved to the UnitedStates. After journeying to the UnitedStates he gained a position as a SeniorAccountant with Public Communica-tion Services in Los Angeles, Califor-nia where he remained for severalyears. Shortly thereafter he chose toleave for a position with the PepsiBottling Company (also as a SeniorAccountant). Each of these positionsallowed him to grow and developadditional skills that have served him throughout his other pursuits as well.Currently, he is the President and CEOof a health care company he founded with his wife in 2004..

The lives of these two

great men show the power of leavingyour comfort zone.

Dr. Saliu could have stayed in that vil-lage selling kerosene and refusing totake the leap f faith he took 46 yearsago. Kenny Ojute could have chosento stay back in Nigeria with a job atShell which still remains a dream jobfor most Nigerians..

I charge you today to leave your com-fort zone and let no obstacle stop youfrom living your dreams...

Chike NwekePublisher,SPRING/2016

From the desk of the Publisher

Leaving Your Comfort Zone

4 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE SPRING 2016


CONTENTS8

30

3. From the Desk of the Publisher8. Cover StoryKenny Ojute - A Humble Achiever at 5026. Profile in ExcellenceAmina Mohammed - A Lifetime of Service 30. Fashion and StylePrincess Lilian Ndukwe, Fashion Trend Setter35. Beauty of the MomentUloma Onyebuchi, CEO- Bold and Beautiful Foundation36. SpotlightNnenna Nwandu - Committed to Service38. People and PlacesUmuchukwu bids farewell to Igwe M.N. Ukaegbu50. People and PlacesMrs. Theresa Nweke- A mother in Israel @ 6860. People and PlacesASWA Youth Day 201568. People and PlacesI.C.C- Hand in Hand 2016

36

60

SPRING 2016 LIFE & TIMES MAGAZINE 7

CONTENTS78. People and PlacesLady Ronke Atane, A Virtuous Woman @ 5084. YouthDaring to Reach Your Dreams88. Health & WellnessDiabetes is No Fun92. SpotlightKatsina State - Home of Hospitality98. Country SpotlightSeychelles - The Beautiful Archipelago114. Iruka's CornerInspired by Death108. Life’s IssuesTriggers - Death Slow in Coming114. News & PoliticsUnder the Keg of A gunpowder by Dr. Jude Akubuilo120. ReligionEnemies of Marriage

78

114

108120


Cover Profile


Cover ProfileBorn September 23,, 1965 to Musiliu and TaiwoOjute, a renowned teacher and a hard-workingbusinesswoman, Kehinde Ojute was the 2nd of 13children in his family. Educated in Ogun State,Nigeria, he continued his education by attendingYaba College of Technology, receiving a HigherNational Diploma in Accounting. Kenny still set hiseyes on higher goals attending the University ofLagos for his Master’s degree in BusinessAdministration in Finance, and California StateUniversity for a Master’s degree in BusinessAdministration in Business, fields he had beeninterested in since his childhood.A proud member of the Institute of CharteredAccountants of Nigeria, Kenny worked for severalyears for the Shell Petroleum DevelopmentCompany of Nigeria as a Senior Accountant beforehe moved to the United States. After journeying tothe United States he gained a position as a SeniorAccountant with Public Communication Services inLos Angeles, California where he remained forseveral years. Shortly thereafter he chose to leave fora position with the Pepsi Bottling Company (also asa Senior Accountant). Each of these positionsallowed him to grow and develop additionalskills that have served him throughout his other pursuits.

Currently, he is the President and CEO of a healthcare company he founded with his wife Jummy in 2004. Kenny has also given his life completely to Christ, devoting himself to a steadfast service. A member of the International Christian Center in Los Angeles, he has willingly used his resources to promote the work of God and bless those around him.Kenny is married to his sweetheart, Jummy Ojute, his best friend and mother of his three beautiful children.

In this interview with our Publisher, Hon. Chike Nweke, Kenny talks about his past, the present, his family , his successes and his plans for the future...

Q1- You came from humble beginnings and have reached out for higher heights since childhood. Having become quite successful at 50, what has been your main motivating factor to excel?


Cover Profile

A-The need for financial security, apositive attitude in business,setting goals and overcomingchallenges have been mymotivating factors.

Q2- working for Shell PetroleumDevelopment Company for a lotof Nigerians would seem like theultimate attainment. What madeyou leave your secure job as asenior accountant in Shell Nigeriato take a leap of faith by coming toAmerica?

A-I left my secured job at Shell topursue the opportunity forgrowth and professionaldevelopment and also to providea better future for my family. Youknow America is a land ofopportunities and I thought itwould be a good idea to partakein those opportunities first hand.Q3- You have two mastersDegrees in BusinessAdministration but you run avery successful Health Carecompany. Howdid you do this effective cross over and what is the secret of your success in the Health care Industry?

A-First of all God alonecan make a man succeed in life. Also, the reason for my success can be attributed to my willingness to learn new ideas, focus on my strengths, hard work,perseverance,

faith, financial discipline andbeing passionate about what I do.Most importantly, my wife'sprofessional background inhealthcare has greatly contributedto the success of my business.Q4. You are a devoted family manand you successfully manage athriving business with your wife.Please tell us a bit about yoursuccess as a husband and father?

A-

The love, trust and respect I havefor my wife and children havebeen the reason for my success asa husband and father. It's been alot of hard work to juggle mybusiness and family life and createa balance between both and Ithank God for the strength hegave me to achieve this and forgiving me an understanding wife.


Cover Profile

Q5- Tell us a little about yourgrowing up years, meeting yoursweetheart Jummy and settlingdown?

A-I grew up in Lagos where Icompleted my college education,after my youth service I gainedemployment at Shell Petroleum. Ialso met my wife in Lagos whenshe was about to complete herCollege education. We gotmarried after her collegeeducation and settled down inLagos for few years beforemigrating to the United States.

Q6- What advise will you give to a new African immigrant

about achieving success inAmerica?.

A-My advise to A new Africanimmigrants is to take educationvery seriously and be ready toacquire new skills that are relevant in this new environmentAn immigrant needs to enroll inschool to pursue any profession ofchoice, follow his/her heart,pursue relevant goals, have thefear of God and be transparent inall he/she does.Q7- At 50, what are your dreamsfor the future?A-To explore the world and takegood care of my wife, children,family. and health. I would like tobe more active in the church,community and connect withmore people.


People and Places

On December 18, 19and 20, 2015-Friends and familygathered at sea, atthe upscaleRenaissance hotelLAX and at theInternationalChristian Center,Los Angeles tocelebrate KennyOjute the humbleachiever at 50.

It was a series ofcelebrations for thisaccomplishedbusinessman,husband, father anddedicated servant ofour Lord JesusChrist as he clockedthis golden age.following is a photoessay of these grandoccasions...


People and Places


Profile In Excellence

Amina J. Mohammed is the Environ-ment Minister of the Federal Republicof Nigeria.

Ms. Mohammed was previously SeniorSpecial Assistant to the President ofNigeria on the Millennium Develop-ment Goals after serving three Presi-dents over a period of six years. In thisposition, she was in charge of design-ing and developing government proj-ects to reduce poverty around the

country. In 2005 she was charged withthe coordination of the debt relieffunds ($1 billion per annum) towardsthe achievement of Millennium Devel-opment Goals in Nigeria. From 2002-2005, Ms. Mohammed served ascoordinator of the Task Force on Gen-der and Education for the United Na-tions Millennium Project.

Amina J. Mohammed is a key player inthe post-2015 development process,

serving as the Special Adviser to UNSecretary-General Ban Ki-Moon onpost-2015 development planning. Shewas appointed to this position in 2012.In this role, she acts as the link be-tween the Secretary-General, his HighLevel Panel of Eminent Persons (HLP),and the General Assembly’s OpenWorking Group (OWG), among otherstakeholders.

Prior to this position, Ms. Mohammed



served as Founder and CEO of theCenter for Development Policy Solu-tions and as an Adjunct Professor forthe Master’s in Development Practiceprogram at Columbia University.

Earlier in her career, Amina Mo-hammed was Founder and ExecutiveDirector of Afri-Projects Consortium, amultidisciplinary firm of engineers andquantity surveyors. She also workedwith the architectural engineeringfirm Archcon Nigeria in associationwith Norman and Dawbarn, UK.

Ms. Mohammed has been working inthe field of development for morethan 30 years both in the public sectorand the private sector. Prior to her cur-rent appointment, she was the CEOand founder of the think tank Centerfor Development Policy Solutions.

In 1991, Ms. Mohammed founded Afri-Projects Consortium, a multidiscipli-nary firm of Engineers and QuantitySurveyors, and from 1991 to 2001 shewas its Executive Director. Between1981 and 1991, she worked with Arch-con Nigeria in association with Nor-

man and Dawbarn United Kingdom.

On November 11, 2015 Mohammedwas sworn in as the Environment Min-ister in President MuhammaduBuhari's cabinet. Ms. Mohammed hasalso served on many international ad-visory boards and panels such as theGates Foundation and the UN Secre-tary General’s Global SustainabilityPanel.

Ms. Mohammed received the NationalHonours Award of the Order of theFederal Republic in 2006 and was in-ducted in the Nigerian Women’s Hallof Fame in 2007.

Ms. Mohammed was born in 1961 to afather from Gombe State, Nigeria anda mother from Scotland. She has sixchildren.

Summary of Amina J Mohammed cre-dentials

* From 1981-1991 Amina J Mo-hammed worked at Archon, Norman& Dawbarn a Multi-disciplinary firm ofArchitects, Engineers and Quantity

Surveyors in Kaduna, Nigeria.

* From 1991-2000, Amina J Mo-hammed served as Co-Founder & Ex-ecutive Director of Afri-ProjectsConsortium, Kaduna & Abuja. *

From 2000-2002 Amina J Mohammedserved as Private Consultant & Na-tional Coordinator for CSACEFA, Abuja.

* From 2002-2005 Amina J Mo-hammed served as, National Coordi-nator EFA, Federal Ministry ofEducation.

* From 2005-2011 Amina J Mo-hammed served as the SSA to thePresident on MDGs; coordinating debtrelief gains to Nigeria. * To date AminaJ Mohammed is an Adjunct Professorat Columbia University, New York (anIvy League Institution).

* She was appointed the United Na-tions Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon’sSpecial Adviser on Post-2015 Develop-ment Planning on June 7, 2012.


The International Christian Center(I.C.C) Los Angeles held its an-nual celebration of marriageand valentine party on SaturdayFebruary, 2016.Breaking from the tradition ofhosting the celebration at an out-side venue, this year's event washeld at the beautifully decoratedsanctuary and banquet hall of theInternational Christian Centerin Hawthorne California.It was a very enriching night withcouples watching a truly inspira-tional movie- "War Room",.

a movie on how a troubled mar-riage was healed by the power ofprayers.I.C.C. Senior Pastor Dr. Dipo Kale-jaiye exhorted couples to continu-ally love each other despitewhat we perceive as 'imperfec-tions" because Jesus came anddied for us despite our imperfec-tions.I.C.C. 1st lady Dr. Nony Kalejaiyesaid the Virtuous Women's fel-lowship holds this annual celebra-tionto give couples an opportunity to

recommit to themselves andrenew their marriage vows. manytestimonies,she said has come out of the 14years of holding this annual event.Highlight of the event was a gamethat led to the crowning of themost romantic man of the night-which was won by BrotherNnamdi Orji.It was a fun night as coupleswined and danced till the weehours of the morning...

People & Places


People & Places


Spotlight


People & Places


People & PlacesUmuchukwu town in Orumba

South Local Government

Anambra State went agog as

the remains of Igwe M.N.

Ukaegbu the revered tradi-

tional ruler of the town, who

reigned for 38 years from

1977 to 2014 ,was laid to rest

to join his ancestors during

his last Ofala December 17-

20, 2015.

Igwe Ukaegbu was referred to

as the founding father and ar-

chitect of Umuchukwu devel-

opment by his nephew, Dr.

Godwin Maduka a Las Vegas,

U.S.A based medical doctor

popularly known as the Lion

of Africa, in his eulogy to the

late Igwe.

Dignitaries from the Anambra

State Government led by Dr.

Nkem Okeke the Deputy Gov-

ernor, fellow traditional rulers

from Anambra state Govern-

ment and beyond, members

of the clergy, titled men, the

high and the mighty and lots

and lots of sympathizers from

far and near were on hand to

say farewell to the Igwe.

The last Ofala started with a

wake keeping at the Igwe's

compound on Thursday De-

cember 17, followed by the

Friday December 18th cere-

monies which included a lying

in State of the Igwe's body at

the Orumba South Local Gov-

ernment headquarters at

Umunze a church service St.

Jude's catholic Church

Umuchukwu officiated by

Bishops and several clergy

and interment the body of the

at Igwe's compound. The cel-

ebrations continued on Satur-

day December 19 with

condolence visits from various

groups and festivities at the

Umuchukwu playground.

On Sunday December 20,

2015 there was a thanksgiv-

ing service by the family at St.

Jude's catholic Church

Umuchukwu to round up the

festivities..

Following are pictures of the

ceremony:


People & Places


People & Places

Amawbia, Awka South LocalGovernment AreaAnambra StateJan. 3, 2016

Family & friends gathered at theSt. Mathew's Catholic ChurchAmawbia on Sunday January 3rd,2016 to celebrate Mrs. TheresaNweke at 68. The celebration wasrganized by her children, Chike,Chukwudi, Ifeyinwa, Ijeoma,Okechukwu and Ifeanyi, sons in Law, Dr. Bufo Nwikeand Dr. Sunday Udegbunam andDaughters in law, Mercy, Chiomaand Chinenye. It was a family re-union as family members trav-

elled from America, Europe andall over Nigeria to celebrateMama.In toasting Mama, her first son,Hon. Chike Nweke who is thePublisher of Life and Times mediagroup had this to say:"20 years ago we lost hope. Welost our Dad. My mother becamea young widow and was left toraise six children. She devotedherself entirely to us and wentdown on her knees. She foughtseveral tough battles and reliedentirely on her faith and the graceof the Almighty. God was faithfuland saw us through. Today westand together united. Today sheis the matriarch of a family that

have been blessed with 5 incredi-ble spouses several grandchil-dren. She is still very healthy,strong and is blessed in the cityand blessed at the gates andblessed in the country. Today onher 68 birthday and on the 20thanniversary of the passing of ourdad- Chief Andrew Nweke, wecelebrate our mom- Office umuAgbala- Ezinne Lolo TheresaNweke"After the thanksgiving service,guests who were close familyfriends came from all over Nigeriaand overseas were lavishly enter-tained at the family compound.Following is a photo essay of thisgrand occasion.


People & Places


People & Places

The Anambra Women Associa-tion of Southern California(ASWA-SC) conducted a oneday Youth event on August 1st,2015

ASWASC, is a non-for profit or-ganization, that was founded in2004.Our mission is to help un-derprivileged women and chil-dren get needed resourcesnecessary to improve theirquality of life. We also work onthe preservation & promotionof our cultural heritage andcustoms through our children.Over the years, ASWASC, hasparticipated in several Medicalmissions to Anambra State,Nigeria, Cancer Fundraiser,Support of Maternity hospitalsin Nigeria and cultural aware-ness in America.

Our focus this year is on em-powering our young adults,particularly our young women.This year, we have held aforum “ Conversations WithOur Daughters”. The idea fromthis dialogue with our youngwomen, stems from our beliefthat an honest and open dia-

logue is the best avenue to havea positive impact on their lives.We am happy to report thatthis dialogue with our youngwomen, is now a quarterlyevent.

The 2015 Youth Day was con-ceived from our belief that ourchildren are our future. Givenour belief, we decided to createan avenue where our youngwomen can learn and shareideas, as well as, vital life skillsfrom each other, their mothers,fathers and seasoned speakers.

The following topics were dis-cussed: CULTURAL AWAR-NESS, I AM OUT OF HERE!(Transitioning from HighSchool to College), SPICECONTROL ( Anger Manage-ment), I GO CHOP YOURMONEY( Financial Manage-ment), LET’S GET CRAFTY! (Life Skills) APPROPRIATEUSE OF SOCIAL MEDIA,MAMA’S KITCHEN (Cook-ing) , FOREVER YOUNG ( Myhealth), #DOLLAR SIGN ( MyFirst Job)and many more.

Cross section of the young adults

Chinwe and Sochi Nwufo


People & Places


Fashion & Style


Fashion & Style

Princess. Lilian NkiruUmeibe-Ndukwe (Ugoyibo)'Mother of 4 beautiful chil-dren and wife of PrinceGoddy Ndukwe, Nurse Prac-titioner with county of LosAngeles and Lover of God.

Favorite Quote-"I can do all things throughChrist who strengthens me"Philippians 4:13 or Psalm 91:1


Fashion & Style


People & Places


People & Places

It was a glorious day set apart to thankGod for His ever increasing love and

faithfulness. The celebration ofRonke's 50th birthday was scheduledfor November 2015. However, with

the passing of her dad during this pe-riod, the celebration was postponed

until February 28, 2016. Ronke cannotstop praising and thanking God for 50

solid years of grace, mercy, love andgreat favor in her life and that of her

family.The Lord has enabled her to stand andkeep standing. Through thick and thin

He has sustained, defended, upheld,delivered and shone His glorious lighton her path. Ronke bows in adoration

and praise to her Lord and Savior JesusChrist. The day started with a Thanks-

giving Service at the InternationalChristian Center in Los Angeles Cali-fornia with families and friends and agreat surprise by her sister from Eng-

land who showed up at the churchunannounced.

It was a beautiful service followed bya reception at “The Place at the

Sycamore Center” in Lakewood, Cali-fornia. The evening reception was col-

orful with beautiful decorationcourtesy of Ms. Jackie Glass and flam-

boyant attires adorned by invitedguests. I.C.C. Senior Pastors, Drs. Dipo

and Nony Kalejaiye were in atten-dance. The food was sumptuous and

lots of dancing with praises and thanksto God.

Ronke thanks all who came to bless herand make the celebration beautiful andprays that the things of joy never cease

in your lives and homes in JesusMatchless name. Amen.


People & Places


Youth

In my stay so far on this earth, oneman that has inspired me so muchis the US President Barack Obama.Not just by his intelligence, or thefact that he is the first black manto be president of the UnitedStates, but the courage and theconviction to pursue his dreams.

There is a story of when Barackwas dating his wife, Michelle, sheasked her brother to go with himto a basketball game in order toform an opinion of him. Duringthe game, Barack’s future brother-in-law asked him what his ulti-mate life goal was. Barack replied,“To be the President of the US”.The answer sounded so crazy toMichelle’s brother that he refusedto mention it to his sister, seeingthat she liked the young man so

much and he didn’t want her toleave him. It was inconceivable tohim that a black man would be-come the American President.This was not just the opinion ofone man. The generality of blackAmericans did not see it happen-ing then. Yet, all these did notdeter Barack as he went on tohave one of the most exciting po-litical campaigns in history andmake history as the first AmericanPresident. This story of a manwith conviction of what hewanted to be and what he waspassionate about, combined withcourage and determination is oneI constantly remember to keep memotivated.

I have come to realize that most, ifnot all people have dreams and

ambitions that sound crazy to oth-ers. They sound crazy either be-cause no one has done that beforeor because others around them donot have the size of their dreams.It ends up putting in us a latentfear of failure so strong that we donot even try to reach for ourdreams. Eventually, we scaledown the size of our dreams to bein conformity with what theworld around expects of us. Wethen end up living mediocre lives,beyond our potentials; or we liveunfulfilled lives even if we are incomfort and wealth. It is really asad thing to watch; even worse toexperience.

I believe that in every person, Godgives us passions and dreamswhich are linked to a purpose.


Youth

The purpose for this purpose isthat we use our passions, talentsand dreams to serving others. Forme, an easy way to discoveringwhat my purpose was this 3-steptest:

1. What is that one thing or collec-tion of things you do that comesto you very naturally, in no matterraw a form?

2. What are those things thatwhen doing, you lose all track oftime and can do for hours withoutend even without the promise ofpay?

3. Whenever you dream aboutyourself in the future, (and we alldo), what is that thing or what arethose things we continually see

yourself doing?

These 3 steps culminate in a job orvocation that achieves your pur-pose by benefiting others. Thismight be a job that is not in exis-tence right now or one that veryfew people around you are in-volved in. But here is the catch:when God puts those dreams andpassions in your heart linked to apurpose, only you feel those pas-sions and envision those dreams.People around you can only no-tice it, and that is for those whoare discerning. That is why it isvery easy for them to discourageyou about reaching for yourdreams.

In spite of this, I believe that nodream is beyond being achieved.

Infact, my desire for everyone isthat they live to pursue their pas-sions and achieve their dreams.Whenever I meet, hear or read ofsomeone pursuing his or her pas-sions, I get energized myself. Butdreaming is not enough – onemust also work towards achievingthem.

You cannot be passionate aboutbeing the best cardiologist in theworld and spend most of yourtime playing Football Managerrather than engrossing yourself inmedical knowledge. Also, youcannot delude yourself aboutbeing passionate about for whatyou have absolutely little or notalent in. that is why the first ofthe 3-step formula to discoveringyour purpose starts with taking


Youth

note of that which comes to younaturally.

You have to start where you are tobegin to pursue your dreams. If itrequires education and reading,throw yourself into it. Find peoplewho are also on or close to yourcareer path and learn from them,either by personal interaction orby reading what they have writ-ten. Find a mentor who will helpyou develop. But most impor-tantly, do not wait until you haveeverything in order before youstart to put into practice what youhave learnt and what you desireto do. Remember, perfect is theenemy of done. As you start, youwill learn from your mistakes andgain experience more than whatbooks can teach you.

Pursuing your dreams is alsomore a function of what youshould not do than what youshould be doing. You have tomake the radical decision to say

no to engaging yourself in activi-ties that do not fit into yourdreams, and would just be a drainof your energy and a distraction.You have to focus on what youare doing.

My last point deals with how toovercome discouragement fromthose around you. Once you areconvinced of what you want to doand where you want to go, talkabout it a lot with those closestaround you. This not only showsthem how serious you are, butalso commits yourself to that path.It is said that 9 out of 10 times youvoice out your plans and inten-tions, you go on to achieve them.The next thing is to immediatelystart working out your dreams, nomatter how rough it is initially. Ifyour dream is to one day have aworld-class animation studio,start with making roughly ani-mated cartoon sketches on yourPC. If your desire is to one dayhave a world-renowned youth

football academy, start with in-volving yourself with a neigh-bourhood soccer team. Thesethings go as an indication to thosearound you about how seriousyou are. It also visualizes for themwhat you have been seeing inyour mind for a long time, andstarts to win their support.

Whatever dreams and passionsyou have held in your heart for along time is divinely put for a pur-pose. Do not let it go to waste.Dare to reach for it. Do not let thefear of missing the ball keep youfrom playing the game.

Remember, the impossible is mosttimes simply the untried.

Mark Amaza runs MINDcapital,a branding and business modeldevelopment focused on smalland mediumsized businesses. Heis also an online columnist andblogger.


Health & Wellness

Whenever I see commercials onnew diabetic medications, I al-ways come up with the impres-sion-hopefully I am wrong- thatthe actors are having fun by theway they high five each others, or

twist and turn. Whatever the com-mercials show, being diabetic canbe devastating. In three decades ofmedical practice, I have seen dia-betes mellitus in all of its dimen-sions.

On Thanksgiving Day inthe year 2000, I was called to thehospital for an emergency sur-gery. As I headed to the lockerroom, the surgeon told me he hadjust met with the seventy year-old

by Olufemi Y. Saliu, M.D.


Health & Wellness

diabetic patient’s family. “Dr.Saliu,” he said, “The patient is toosick to have surgery.” “I told thefamily,” he went on, “He coulddie on the operating table.” Be-cause of the surgeon’s concerns,the family had declined to consentto below the knee amputation. Itold the surgeon to give me timeto assess the patient and talk tothe family.

The patient’s left foot hadturned black from gangrene, ortissue death, his consciousnesswas impaired, and he was hy-potensive, so I was concerned.The toxins released by the black-ened foot caused his serious sick-ness. In other cases like this, oncethe source of the toxins is ampu-tated, patients usually get better. Iplanned to use that possibility toconvince the family to consent tosurgery.

There were about twentypeople in the waiting room:daughters, sons, and grandchil-dren. It was supposed to be aThanksgiving reunion, but whenthe patriarch of the family fell ill,they all headed to the hospital.After I talked to the family, theygave consent, surgery was done,and his awareness improved aftersurgery. The old man, and his old-est daughter were all smiles whenI returned for the post-operativevisit the next morning. Having abelow the knee amputation wasjust the first battle won by this di-abetic patient. First, he had tolearn to use a prosthetic leg. Then,he had to comply with his medica-tions to mitigate further amputa-tion of the limb stump.

Not all diabetic patients areadherent to treatments needed tomaintain their health. A noncom-

pliant patient I had several yearsago told me: “I don’t like medica-tions,” just before he was taken infor an above the knee amputationafter having had a below the kneeamputation years earlier. I havehad patients come in for hip disar-ticulation: removal of the limbstump from the hip joint. Thereare other long-term complicationsof diabetes. Eye complicationsmay include vitreous hemorrhage(bleeding in the eye), proliferativeretinopathy (pathologic growth ofblood vessels in the retina), retinaldetachment, and of course, blind-ness. Patients may also developchronic kidney disease that culmi-nates in a need for dialysis. Otherconditions that coexist with long-term complications of diabetes arehypertension and-coronary andcerebrovascular diseases that in-crease the risk of heart attack and


Health & Wellness

stroke.I strongly recommend, re-

gardless of your state of health orphysique, thin or overweight, thatyou visit your doctor at least oncea year to be checked for diabetesmellitus. The tests are simple: fast-ing blood sugar and hemoglobinA1C levels are measured from ablood sample. If you are pre-dia-betic, you will be advised to cutdown your refined carbohydrateintake, eat more vegetables, fruits,and nuts, and to exercise more fre-quently. If you are diabetic, on topof the previous advise, you willalso be asked to take certain med-ications. Taking diabetic medica-tions is not an excuse to continuewith your old, unhealthy lifestyle.Be compliant with medications,and go to your follow up appoint-ments.

As Africans, it is relevanthere to examine how our cultureaffects our health. Our ancestorshad no automobiles, so they went

everywhere on foot. Constantmovement was a way of life. Itcan even be considered a form oftreatment in accordance to whatHippocrates (c.460-c.370 BC), thefather of Western medicine saidthousands of years ago, ”Walkingis man’s best medicine.” This isworthy of emulation. Walk with afriend or a spouse on a regularbasis; join or form a walking clubor work out at a gym. Helping outwith chores at home is another op-portunity to be active. Do not becouch bound. Hippocrates empha-sized the therapeutic value ofwalking further when he wrote,“If you are in a bad mood go for awalk. If you are still in a badmood go for another walk.”

What we should deviatefrom in the ways of life of our an-cestors is eating overcooked mealswithout raw vegetable salad onthe side. It is customary to eat abig bowl of rice, pounded yam,and other swallow foods without

raw vegetables. Eating rice orpounded yam just before bedtime,like I used to do, is bad for yourhealth and weight. Up till fiveyears ago, I would eat like that,even if I got home at midnightand then go to bed. What I donow is different. It does not mat-ter what I eat at breakfast, lunch,and dinner, there is always abouttwo handfuls of raw vegetablesalad on the side, and absolutely,no carbohydrate based foods after5 PM. The only thing I eat after 5PM is vegetable soup with meat,chicken, or fish. That is how I eatless diabetogenic refined carbohy-drate while still consuming largeamounts of raw plant-based foodsthat supply my body with re-quired micronutrients. I will con-clude this article with anotherquote from the father of Westernmedicine: “Let food be thy medi-cine and medicine be thy food.”


Beauty of the Moment


Spotlight


Spotlight

Katsina, usually referred to asKatsina State to distinguish itfrom the city of Katsina, is a statein North West zone of Nigeria.Its capital is Katsina, and itsGovernor is Aminu BelloMasari, a member of the AllProgressives Congress. In 1987,Katsina State was formed frompart of Kaduna State.The Hausa people (sometimesgrouped with the Fulani asHausa-Fulani) are the largestethnic groupThe state is predominantlyMuslim, and Gobarau Minaret isan important building. Sharia isvalid in the entire state. TheChurch of Nigeria has a Dioceseof Katsina.The Redeemed ChristianChurch of God and the RomanCatholic Church are fairly

present in the state.Katsina State is renowned ineducational history of Nigeriaboth formal and informal.Currently it has Federal Collegeof Education, Hassan UsmanKatsina Polytechnic and stateuniversity; which is named afterlate President and son of thestate, Umaru Musa Yar'aduaUniversity

LOCATION:Katsina is situated at theextreme Northern part of theNigeria, approximately betweenLatitude 11o 30' and 13o 32'Nand Longitude 6o 52' and 9o 02'Ecovering an area of about 24,192km2. It is bounded to the Northby Niger Republic, East byJigawa and Kano States, Southby Kaduna State and to the West

by Zamfara State. AccordingBureau of Public Statistics (NPS)the state ranks fifth (5th ) mostpopulous in the country with thepopulation of approximately 5.8million based on the 2006 censusand current estimate of 7.60million with the growth rate of3.0% per annum. Over fiftypercent (50%) of this populationare made up of young, agile menand women of between the ages15-64 years. This gives the statethe advantage of sustainableworkforce.

CLIMIATE ANDVEGETATIONIn terms of physical setting,Katsina state has a Tropicalcontinental Climate with highmean annual temperature over27o C. The weather varies


Spotlight

according to the season of theyear, but mostly it is cool in themorning, hot in the afternoonand cool again in the evening.The chilly harmattan weatherlast between November toFebruary a little below averagetemperatures. The wind is dryfrom January to April signallingarrival of rainy season. Theseason last from June to October.The vegetation is SudanSavannah with short scatteredtrees, shrubs and grasses. Therelief is made up of landbetween 399-600 meters abovesea level (Abegunde, etal, 1991).

OPPORTUNITIES IN AGRIBUSINESSThe economy of the State isbasically agrarian in nature witha cultivable Land 2.4millionhectares out of which 1.6millionis under cultivation, leavingland area of 800,000 hectares,equivalent to one third of thetotal cultivable land available forinvestment. The state also hasover 61 water bodies suitable forirrigation farming with acapacity of 1121CU.m while themajor ones have a total capacityof 558CU, located at Sabke, Jibia,and Gwaigwaye.

Farming and rearing of animals

occupies the lives of about 80%of the total population of thestate. The state for long has beena major collection centre for cashcrops such as cotton, ground-nuts and food crops such asmaize, guinea corn, millet, andvegetables. The range oflivestock in the state isessentially cattle, sheep, goatand Poultry. These provideshuge opportunities for settingup of large Scale Agro-alliedindustries such as SugarProcessing Industry, RiceMilling, Oil and Flour Milling,Textiles, Dairy Products,Confectioneries, Meatprocessing, Tannery, Hatchery


Spotlight

and Poultry production, etc.The state has the followingranking in agriculturalproduction and in otherbusiness endeavors in Nigeria;· Largest producer of Cotton;· Second largest producer ofSorghum;· Produces 13% of totalNigeria's Sugarcane making itsecond in Nigeria's ranking;· The World Bank ranked theState 7th in ease of doingbusiness ahead of Lagos, Kano,Rivers and Cross Rivers;· The State ranks 12th in theprevalence Micro, Small andMedium Enterprises (MSME);· The State was ranked 17thin Gross State Product withaverage per capita of $6,022;and· Major producer of othercereals and legume crops

OPPORTUNITIES IN SOLIDMINERALS

The State has abundantreserves of the following solidminerals in commercialquantity:Kaolin, Silica Sand, Feldspar,Asbestos, Gold, Marble, Quartz,Talc, Precious Stones, Granite.

OPPORTUNITIES INHOSPITALITY ANDCREATIVE INDUSTRIES

The State has rich culturalheritage epitomized by RumaLandscape, Kusugu well, EmirsPalaces of Daura and Katsinaand Antiquities of DurbiTakushiyi. These arecomplimented by third biggestoperational thirty-five-thousandSeater Ultra Modern Stadium inthe Country, Racecourse, Pologround, 18 - holes Gulf Course

and Opened Air Theatre. Allthese make the State to havehigh investment potentials in theSector. These include;· Hotels Development of allcategories;· Holiday Resorts;· Games Reserves;· Tour Operators and TravelAgencies;· Transportation; and· Amusement Parks/Zoo;and· Physical Fitness and SportsCanters

OPPORTUNITIES INPROPERTY DEVELOPMENTThe huge potentials for propertydevelopment in the State arequite high and attractive. TheState has been opened up with agood network of roadsespecially the State Capital that


Spotlight

has been complemented with a40Km ring road encircling theCity. With a population of over7 Million and estimated housingdeficit of 690,000, the potentialsof property development areendless! Specificallyopportunities exist in Small andMedium Housing, ShoppingMalls, Conference and EventManagement Canters, Hotelsetc.

ENERGYWith the increasingadvancement in technologiesaimed at harnessing the powerof the Sun and increasing rate atwhich solar farms are globallyspringing, Katsina state with itslocation is attractive destinationfor investment in Solar Power.

OTHER ECONOMICACTIVITIESOther economic activitiesavailable in the state arebanking, transportation, small

scale enterprises and trading.There are over ten mega Marketsand other medium and smallerones throughout length andbreadth of the state. TheseMarkets provides the largestsupply of Grains and Livestockin Nigeria and other WestAfrican Countries. They alsoserve as feeder to the famousDawanau Market in Kano.

INFRASTRUCTURALFACILITIESKatsina state is accessible byroad, air, communicationnetwork of telephones, postoffice, courier services, andGlobal System Mobile (GSM).There is also a railway link fromthe seaport of Lagos passingthrough the cities of Ibadan andKaduna among others to Funtuain Katsina state, stretching up toKauran Namoda in Zamfarastate.

Katsina state has adequate road

network across its length andbreadth as all the 34 localgovernments areas of the stateare accessible. Also In terms ofintra city roads, the state capitalis well served as all the roadswithin the state capital weresmoothly tarred.

For manpower development,there are four (4) universities, apolytechnic, two colleges ofeducations, Ahmadu BelloUniversity School of Basic andRemedial Studies. Also, thereare a number of Businessapprenticeship training centresestablished to providevocational training tounemployed youth in variousskills such as brick laying, automechanic, electrical works,welding, carpentry,refrigeration, GSM repairs,catering and hospitality servicesetc. ng, Tannery, Hatchery andPoultry production, etc.


Country Spotlight

Seychelles ,officially the Republic ofSeychelles (French: République desSeychelles;Creole: Repiblik Sesel), is an

archipelago and country in the Indian Ocean.The 115-island country, whose capital isVictoria, lies 1,500 kilometres (932 mi) east ofmainland East Africa. Other nearby islandcountries and territories include Comoros,Mayotte,Madagascar, Réunion and Mauritiusto the south.Seychelles, with a population of 90,024, hasthe smallest population of any independentAfrican state; however, it does have a largerpopulation than the UK overseas territory

Country Spotlight


Country Spotlight

Saint Helena, Ascension andTristan da Cunha.

The Seychelles wereuninhabited throughout mostof recorded history. Somescholars assume thatAustronesian seafarers and laterMaldivian and Arab traders werethe first to visit the uninhabitedSeychelles. The earliest recordedsighting by Europeans tookplace in 1502 by the PortugueseAdmiral Vasco da Gama, whopassed through the Amirantesand named them after himself(islands of the Admiral). Theearliest recorded landing was inJanuary 1609, by the crew of the"Ascension" under CaptainSharpeigh during the fourthvoyage of the British East IndiaCompany.

A transit point for tradebetween Africa and Asia, the

islands were occasionally usedby pirates until the Frenchbegan to take control starting in1756 when a Stone ofPossession was laid by CaptainNicholas Morphey. The islandswere named after Jean Moreaude Séchelles, Louis XV's Ministerof Finance. The British controlled the islandsbetween 1794 and 1810. JeanBaptiste Quéau de Quincy,French administrator ofSeychelles during the years ofwar with the United Kingdom,declined to resist when armedenemy warships arrived.Instead, he successfullynegotiated the status ofcapitulation to Britain whichgave the settlers a privilegedposition of neutrality.Britain eventually assumed fullcontrol upon the surrender ofMauritius in 1810, formalised in1814 at the Treaty of Paris.

Seychelles became a crowncolony separate from Mauritiusin 1903. Elections were held in1966 and 1970.

Independence (1976)Inde pendence was granted in1976 as a republic within theCommonwealth. In the 1970sSeychelles was "the place to beseen, a playground for film starsand the international jet set". In1977, a coup d'état by FranceAlbert René ousted the firstpresident of the republic, JamesMancham. René discouragedover-dependence on tourismand declared that he wanted "tokeep the Seychelles for theSeychellois".The 1979 constitution declareda socialist one-party state, whichlasted until 1991.

In the 1980s there were a seriesof coup attempts against


Country Spotlight

President France-Albert René,some of which were supportedby South Africa. In 1981, MikeHoare led a team of 43 SouthAfrican mercenariesmasquerading as holidayingRugby players in a coup attemptin what is known as TheSeychelles affair. There was agun battle at the airport, andmost of the mercenaries laterescaped in a hijacked Air Indiaplane.

In 1986, an attempted coup ledby the Seychelles Minister ofDefence, Ogilvy Berlouis, causedPresident René to requestassistance from India. InOperation Flowers areBlooming, the Indian navalvessel INS Vindhyagiri arrived inPort Victoria to help avert thecoup.

The first draft of a new

constitution failed to receive therequisite 60% of voters in 1992,but an amended version wasapproved in 1993.

In January 2013, Seychellesdeclared a state of emergency;the tropical cyclone Fellengcaused torrential rain, andflooding and landslidesdestroyed hundreds of houses.

Politics

Victoria, the capital of SeychellesThe Seychelles president, who ishead of state and head ofgovernment, is elected bypopular vote for a five-year termof office. The cabinet is presidedover and appointed by thepresident, subject to theapproval of a majority of thelegislature.The unicameral Seychelloisparliament, the National

Assembly or AssembléeNationale, consists of 34members, 25 of whom areelected directly by popular vote,while the remaining nine seatsare appointed proportionallyaccording to the percentage ofvotes received by each party. Allmembers serve five-year terms.

The Supreme Court ofSeychelles, created in 1903, isthe highest trial court inSeychelles and the first court ofappeal from all the lower courtsand tribunals. The highest courtof law in Seychelles is theSeychelles Court of Appeal,which is the court of final appealin the country.[12]

Political culture

President James Michel in hisoffice in Victoria, 2009


Country Spotlight

Map of SeychellesSeychelles' previous presidentFrance Albert René came topower after his supportersoverthrew the first presidentJames Mancham on 5 June 1977in a coup d'état and installedhim as president. René was atthat time the primeminister.[13][14][15]

Albert René ruled as astrongman under a socialistone-party system until in 1993,when he was forced tointroduce a multi-party system.During his tenure, he wasaccused of involvement incriminal activity. USAmbassador to Seychelles(1982–85) has stated publiclythat René was complicit inmoney laundering and murder,among other things. He steppeddown in 2004 in favour of his

vice-president, James Michel,who was re-elected in 2006 andagain in 2011.

The primary political parties arethe ruling socialist People'sParty (PP), known until 2009 asthe Seychelles People'sProgressive Front (SPPF), andthe socially liberal SeychellesNational Party (SNP).

Foreign relationsSeychelles is a member of theAfrican Union, the francophoneIndian Ocean Commission (IOC),La Francophonie, the SouthernAfrican DevelopmentCommunity (SADC) and theCommonwealth.

Administrative divisions

Seychelles is divided intotwenty-six administrative

regions that comprise all of theinner islands. Eight of thedistricts make up the capital ofSeychelles and are referred to asGreater Victoria. Another 14districts are considered the ruralpart of the main island of Mahéwith two districts on Praslin andone on La Digue which alsoincludes respective satelliteislands. The rest of the OuterIslands (Îles Eloignées) are thelast district, recently created bythe tourism ministry.

Economy:

Seychelles enjoys a relativelystable economic environmentas a high-middle-incomecountry with lucrative fishingand tourism industries. Piracyhas declined significantly as athreat off the coast. In early2013, tropical cyclone Felleng


Country Spotlight

destroyed hundreds of homes. The economy is the 120th largest by GDP in the world and the 6thlargest economy in sub-saharan Africa and 3rd largest by by GDP in sub saharan Africa.Tourism:Tourism is the most important nongovernment sector of Seychelles' economy. About 15 percent ofthe formal work force is directly employed in tourism, and employment in construction, banking,transportation, and other activities is closely tied to the tourist industry. Tourists enjoy the Seychelles'coral beaches and opportunities for water sports. Wildlife in the archipelago is also a major attraction.


Iruka's Corner

I lost my father at a young age.One day he was fine; the next dayhe was dead, literally. We spokeon a Saturday afternoon and hewas okay. He died on Tuesday. No

goodbyes. Nothing prepared mefor his death. I could barelyfunction for a very long time. Ibecame a robot – doing what Iwas expected to do at the right

time and in the right manner. Justexisting. I looked and played thepart but without any emotion orzeal. Interestingly, I was in thisstate of mind for a couple years

Iruka's Corner


Iruka's Corner

and none of my loved ones knew.I became quite good at “faking alife”. My thoughts, actions andmovements were purelymechanical. A part of me knew Ishould do more, want more, oreven say more but I had nomotivation whatsoever to do anyof it. It took me a while to wakeup from my robotic existence.

It’s been over 20 years since myfather left this earth and peoplestill give testimonies of how hetouched their lives. He loved hisfamily and everyone he met. Myfather went out of his way to give.If you had a need and came tohim, he will do everything in hispower to help you. He also loveda full house so we had myriads ofextended family members andfriends visiting and/or moving inconstantly. My Dad’s decisionwasn’t always fun for my momand my siblings. If we complain,he responded “that’s why I’mhere”. I never really understoodthis until he died. I alwayswondered what my giving up mybed for an unwelcome guesthadto do with him being onearth! Now I know he was tryingto tell us that that was hispurpose. Although he lived arelatively short life, he made animpact. He made a difference,met needs, and touched lives. Heis dead but lives on in the heartsof the people he touched. He isstill missed. This is a true case ofnot how long, but how well.

My younger sister lost herhusband in a ghastly car accidenton Christmas Day last year. Hewas only 50 years old. Onemoment, he was fine; next he wasgone. He spoke to his familybarely 2 hours before theaccident.This recent lossreminded me of the promise I

made to myself years ago to doeverything in my power to live.There is a difference betweenbeing alive and living. Being aliveis very easy – inhale, exhale,repeat. That’s all. Just goingthrough the motions. Neverexerting yourself. Staying in yourcomfort zone. Not takingchances. Living involves a wholelot more – getting involved bydiving in no matter how scaredyou are, doing those things thatmay cause you to fall but you getup and try again, pursuing yourdreams, creating newexperiences, seeing life throughthe eyes of others, enjoying thejourney, etc.

We tend to wait till everything isperfectly aligned to make a move.Stop waiting. Dive in, fortomorrow is not guaranteed. Likethe great authorC. Joybell C.reminds us “A lifetime isn'tforever, so take the first chance,don't wait for the second one!Because sometimes, there aren'tsecond chances! And if it turnsout to be a mistake? So what! Thisis life! A whole bunch ofmistakes!”

It’s sad that it took anothersudden death for me toremember a promise I made tomyself years ago. Better late thannever, I’m told. So, once more I amre-committing to living fiercely.This entails taking risks, doingthings that scare me, taking astab at the unfamiliar, figuringout my passion and pursuing itno matter what. I do not knowhow long I have, so I havedetermined to stop the “waiting”and to stop making excuses.There may never be a perfecttime, so I resolve not to wait till Ilose weight, get my dream job,have more money, make the right

contacts, etc. to pursue mydreams. I commit to not holdingback; to rise if I fall and try again;to laugh often; to forgive myselfand others; to take care of myself;to love; to give often; to breathe;to feel; invest in meaningfulrelationships; to embraceopportunities; and to not becomplacent or settle.

I am inspired to live in a way thatwhen I’m no longer hereI’mmissed.To do this, I have to breakout of my comfort zone. It’s scaryand my heart is racing at thethought. But ready or not, I’mdiving in.It’s not enough to bealive. I have to live in a way thatwhen I am gone, I am notforgotten. I dare you to do thesame!

Iruka A. Ndubuizu is aNegotiations Expert, “ContractGuru”, Attorney, Consultant andTrainer. She is an AssistantDirector for ContractsAdministration at EmoryUniversity in Atlanta, Georgiaand the Founder of EurekaConsulting, LLC(www.eurekaconsultingllc.com).Contact info:[email protected];+1 678.224.1960.

Iruka's Corner


Life’s Issues

By Nkem DenChukwu


Life’s Issues

tWhen an insect bites, just re-member, it’s probably in yourpocket.

In 2014, I was inspired to write mysecond children’s book,titled ALLEY-GATORS: THEBULLIES OF POUGHKEEPSIE.Childhood orientation has somuch to do with how we thinkand behave as adults. Either itshapes us or breaks us. If we can

change the mindset of more thanone child, one teen, one adult, at atime, we can help reduce the num-ber of bullies and potential killersout there.

Bullies and killers are not born.They are made.

After each fatal accident...no, inci-dent, many ask the same tiredquestion, “Why are Nigerian men

killing their wives?” The ques-tions should be, “Why are menkilling their wives? Why are bul-lies bulling? Why do we do thosethings that break the heart of Godby killing one another?” Well,there’s a fine line between crazi-ness and dementia. One doesn’thave to be roaming the streetsnaked for you to know they havelost their mind. Don’t you thinkso? Well, I know so. When some-

one tells you; I will kill you. I willhurt you. Believe them. Whenthey strike you once, there’s agreater chance you will be struckagain. And on the day he has hadmore than he could handle...beer,hard liquor, that is, he’d probablyhit you harder, as in telegraphedbolo punches. Now, the questionsshould be; Why would somewomen not extricate themselvesfrom the situation they knowclearly is detrimental to their

lives? Why would a clear-mindedwoman plant herself like a honey-plastered fixture to attract bees?Do they not feel the sting? By re-maining inside the beehive, theyinadvertently sign they own deathwarrants, all because they want tosave their marriages and haveMrs. Somebody attached to theirnames? Wherefore, rejoice in amarriage one knows is a sham?Wherefore, rejoice in your ownpain?

The killing of spouses is not lim-ited to Nigerian men alone. Thekilling of spouses clearly has noth-ing to do with race or nationality,but has everything to do with thekiller’s frame of mind. Does thekilling of spouses appear to belarger in scope in the UnitedStates? If so, why is that? In a na-tion where divorce is part of theequation in any marriage, youwould think the panacea for a badmarriage is readily available. Not


Life’s Issues

necessarily true. Maybe, the desireto stay on “...TILL DEATH DO USPART” is pushed toward thatboundary where the deadlierspouse nudges Death overboardto welcome it faster than it is due.No relationship is guaranteed. Ifanything, a relationship is guaran-teed fluid, and could easily move,crisscrossing between crevices in-side the general body of the entityitself to find wicked niches fromwhere it propagates the hydra-headed monster for the eventualkill. Why do some women remainwith these monsters that starethem in the face at all times, notup and leave? Easier said thandone, right? Nah! They arestronger than they believe. Thesewomen must understand thatFear lurks in the dark, therefore, isan illusion. When you kick Fear tothe curb, it stays down. It’s allabout your mindset. How do youwant to live each day of your life?is the question.

A great number of women in the

United States have been killed bytheir husbands, boyfriends, evenby an ex. These stories are con-stantly making Headline News. In2015, a husband fatally shot hisNigerian wife according to theDallas MorningNews. http://www.dallasnews.com/news/community-news/best-southwest/headlines/20150830-bank-security-guard-accused-of-fatally-shooting-wife-at-his-work.ece

A man from Geismar was accusedof brutally beating his estrangedwife to death Sunday night with abaseballbat. http://theadvocate.com/news/weeklies/13151995-123/geis-mar-man-accused-of-beating InApril 2015, a Nigerian man inHouston, Texas, stabbed hisCameroonian fiancé todeath. http://www.khou.com/story/news/crime/2015/04/09/man-accused-of-fatally-stabbing-fi-ancee-in-mission-bend-home/25504753/ “In Dallas, an

ex-boyfriend was linked to thekilling of his ex-girlfriend.” http://www.dallas-news.com/news/crime/headlines/20150908-victims-boyfriends-ex-linked-to-killing-in-uptown-garage.ece

In 2014, another man killed hisdoctor wife according to HoustonChronicle http://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas/houston/article/Man-ar-rested-in-wife-s-death-in-W-Harris-County-5342058.php

Many women stay, knowing thatthese men are toxic in their lives.Some stay praying and hoping themonsters in their men go away.When you see those early signs ofabuse; physical, mental, and emo-tional, why stay? Some say “...be-cause I love him and he loves metoo. For the sake of the kids. Hepromised to change. It’s the alco-hol. My children need their father.I’m scared of starting over. I amtoo old. I have invested so much


Life’s Issues

in this relationship. I can’t justleave! I don’t have a job. The sex isamazing! I will be made a carica-ture of...” The reasons and/or ex-cuses are endless. If you are in anabusive relationship/marriage,ask yourself, What happensif/when he kills me? What be-comes of my child (or children)?Well, if OR when that happens,your story will be told by others,accurate or not, while taxpayers’monies keep him in jail for life orawhile. The bottom-line: Yourkiller will be breathing, eating,LOL, getting some kind of train-ing, education, rehabilitation, andmaybe, a repentant heart...eventu-ally. And you, still dead.

Wake-up and see your potentialkiller. He is NOT your friend. Heis a fiend.

In New Jersey, just two days afterChristmas in 2013, a man killedhis 26-year-old wife. She was ninemonthspregnant. http://newyork.cbslo-cal.com/2013/12/31/east-orange-man-charged-in-death-of-pregnant-wife/

There are bullies and killers inevery part of the world. Now,brace yourself. From this clip, thisvictim was an ex-wife. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcpWQ3Bp0UE

The reason or reasons for bludg-eoning, stabbing, or shooting oneto death is as eclectic as one wouldfind in the synapses of any de-ranged mind. Bringing domesticabuse closer to home: ManyNigerian women in abusive mar-riages or relationships have ac-cepted this way of life as a norm.Same way many Africans have ac-

cepted the phrase “African Time,”as a way of life, to describe theirtardiness to events. Pitiful!

HERE’S A SNAPSHOT OF ONEDEADLY INCIDENT (Fiction orNon-Fiction? Well, GO FIGURE):

On that cold winter night, a shotrang out in the dead of night.Bang! The neighbors told thePolice. One gunshot was all ittook to turn her into a bloodymess. It was in the wee hoursof the morning. She was asleep... probably dreaming of rosesand other nimble charactersher dormant mind wasconstructing. Their twinswere asleep in the nextroom. He walked upthe edge of the bed inthe guest room,took one look ather, and thenpulled thetrigger. Thesavagery, thesheer brutalityof it numbsthe mind.And thisfrom theman shehadexchangedmarriagevows with.“I do.”Yeah right!She wasnot giventhe chanceto defendherself. Again,she was asleep.Her husband losthis mind in a moment of blindfury. Some brand of anger is in-deed a raging, destructive storm.


Life’s Issues

She had seen Death coming, anddid nothing to avert that. Thesparks were there, as in the meanverbal exchanges, the emotional,and the physical abuses that werepiling up. And he had warned herhe was going to kill her. Shedidn’t believe him. She stayed forthe sake of their children, hopinghe’d change into the man she hadfallen in love with...and then mar-ried. On their wedding day, hevowed to love and cherish her tillDeath did them part. Seasonschanged, and he adopted andswore to a new vow, to kill her in-stead. He did. Death did do thempart. ...The End.

Love has no room for hate. Rather,it should make room for growth,hope, and joy. To rise above theenemy (hate, anger, self-doubt,jealousy, procrastination, insecu-rity, and ego, and everything elsethat you have in that toxic bag)takes the grace of God and mostdefinitely, your efforts. But first,you must ask for that grace. Fast-ing and prayers do work whenyou also give God something towork with. Miracles do happentoo. I know. Manna does fall fromheaven, figuratively speaking.However, to get to a destination,we need to put our feet down andthen, one foot forward. No matterthe roadblocks and the detours

along the way, when we keepmoving, our journey progresseswith every step.

Many women did not have theopportunity to edit the errors intheir Book of Life. Not manywomen woke up from the delu-sion that their husbands orboyfriends would change. Womenlike Joi Tiffany and Mori GabriellaMontgomery had the opportuni-ties to tell their own stories. Theyare victors. They are winners.They are unstoppable. They arealive. https://www.facebook.com/DVSurvivorjoitiffanyhttp://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/an-inspiration-mori-gabriella-montgomery-shares-her-domestic-violence-story-on-social-media/story-fnixwvgh-1226851519160

I hope and pray these testimoniesand stories wake you up if you arestill sleeping in a toxic relation-ship/marriage, broken, with yourDeath Warrant on one hand.

Every now and then, evaluate andre-evaluate your life; your jour-ney, goals, where you have been,where you are, and where youwould like to be. Take stock of itall. Don’t regret your past. Theword ‘regret’ should not in yourvocabulary. Instead, choose the

word, ‘mistake.’ We all make mis-takes. The bottom-line is to learnfrom them. Every experience ismeant to be a lesson. The problemis when you live through an expe-rience, but still ignorant of the les-sons you were meant to learn.

Life is not about falling down. It isabout getting up. Get up and doyour best to keep standing. Iknow for sure, unless you allowsomeone to do so; No one canabuse you, No one can mistreatyou…hit you more than once, Noone can degrade you…

Never be a Victim. Be a Victor.

Nkem DenChukwuAward-Winning Filmmaker &Authorwww.nkemdenchukwu.com


News & Politics

Nigeria:Embers Under A Keg Of Gun Powder

Part 1By Dr. Jude Akubuilo

Nigeria as we know it, is un-dergoing a serious revolutionor revision, albeit quiet, unac-knowledged and unan-nounced. Despite the head ofthe ostrich in the sand mental-ity of our leaders, the countryhas been in great trouble forthe past few years with thingsgetting worse. Many essayistshave copiously chronicled theproblems with Nigeria, manyfrom the parochial prism ofpartisan politics, tribal, reli-gious or personal interest per-spectives. In all, a commondenominator emerges thatNigeria is a nation in trouble.Unfortunately, there is noZorro in the horizon with ablue print to tackle the prob-lems facing the country muchless begin laying the rightfoundation. The foundationon which the country is con-structed is giving way at the

deepening fault lines of cor-ruption, tribalism, greed andother ills giving credence toChinua Achebe’s farewellmaster piece “There Was ACountry”.Let us look at some of the is-sues:

THE PROBLEM WITH OIL

There is general agreementthat Nigeria has over theyears done very little to diver-sify the economy. The prob-lem however is not assimplistic as that. The westernworld led by the UnitedStates, suffered terribly formany years from the machi-nations of the Organization ofPetroleum Exporting Coun-tries’ (OPEC) manipulation ofworld oil prices. The cartel en-gineered gross distortions in


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the economies of oil importing na-tions who now spearheaded bythe United States have found waysto reduce world dependence on oil.Today, vehicles fuelled by naturalgas, electricity and other alterna-tive sources, once seen as futuristicare now common place in manywestern countries and mass transitsystems are being enhanced to takeeven more people out of their cars.The United States and Canadahave embarked on being self suffi-cient in oil through cutting edgeextraction of oil and gas from shalesand, fracking and the opening upof petroleum exploration in areaspreserved for decades by environ-mental activists. Today, USA hasemerged as the world’s highestproducer of petroleum and naturalgas. It is impossible in today’sworld to control world oil outputbecause many oil producers ormarketers have become non-com-pliant or rogue producers weaken-ing OPEC’s influence on oil prices.It is difficult to monitor oil outputfrom countries like Russia, Iraq,Venezuela, Libya, Angola, Syria,Southern Sudan and many others.

With the nuclear deal reached withIran, the world oil glut will onlyget worse as Iran aims to increaseits oil production to full capacity.In the Nigerian situation, the prob-lem is pathetic. The world oil buc-caneers buy black market oil fromNigeria. Unfortunately, the issue ofthe fight for resource control whichemerged under Isaac Adaka Boro,furthered under Ken Saro Wiwahas blossomed into a fully fledgedgeopolitical enterprise. The at-tempts to quell this aspiration byforce such as the Massacre at Odion November 20, 1999 during theera of former President OlusegunObasanjo or the attempted pacifi-cation by former President ShehuYardua under the Niger DeltaAmnesty Program, were abysmalfailures. Today, thousands of ille-gal oil bunkering activities thrive,as both the sale and refining ofstolen crude oil have been elevatedto state craft. Truth be told, it ap-pears the indigenes have takenback their oil. The inclement oper-ating environment has seen mas-sive divestment by multinationaloil companies operating in Nigeria.

This alone was a pointer that allwas not well with Nigeria and itsoil.From 2011 to August 2014, crudeoil generally witnessed high pricesof over $100 per barrel, since thenprices have been unpredictableand unstable now hovering below$40 per barrel. Today, there is atwo way split among OPEC Mem-bers on the way forward. Onegroup led by Saudi Arabia doesnot want to see a cut back in crudeoil production. The rationale is thatby causing a glut, many producersin the Western nations will beforced to go bankrupt. This strat-egy is already having significantnegative impact among oil produc-ers involved in fracking and shaleoil production as many such com-panies are going bankrupt. A sec-ond group which includes Nigeriawill like to impose significant pro-duction quotas to shore up worldoil prices. It is predicted that if theslide continues, some of thesecountries like Nigeria andVenezuela will go bankrupt.To make matters worse, Nigeriansexpected a drastic cut in the cost of


News & Politics

governance under PresidentBuhari. On the contrary, the Fed-eral Government has proposed a2016 Budget of N6 trillion, thehighest ever in Nigeria with a pre-sumed benchmark of $38 per bar-rel. Since the proposal the price ofoil has gone down to $36 per bar-rel, the lowest in many years. Evenat this, all tiers of government havemaintained an expenditure profilethat is unrealistic and unsustain-able in view of the prevailing eco-nomic circumstances.Federal, state and local govern-ments, ministries, departments andagencies of government are strug-gling to pay workers’ salaries asgovernors agitate at their inabilityto pay the new N18,000.00 mini-mum wage. Unfortunately, there isno end in sight to this quagmirewhich sees an already restiveworkforce ready to explode.To make matters worse, we arenow witnessing foreign exchangecontrols that threaten to cripple theeconomy and obliterate the privatesector.

TERRORISM, INSECURITY &ALLAccording to a just released report,Boko Haram is the world’s dead-liest terrorist organization. Whatstarted as a minor skirmish a fewyears ago has blossomed into afully fledged war that has claimedthousands of lives and displacedmillions. Nigeria lost valuable timein wrestling this monster to theground because the people at thehelm of affairs then, like PresidentGoodluck Jonathan did not com-prehend the nature of the problem.I believe he would have made bet-ter decisions if he had been betterbriefed by his aides who under-stood the issues. For his aides todo that would have amounted tobetrayal on their part, exposing theunder belly of Islam to an infidel,a kuffar amounting to an abomina-tion. What people will like tosweep under the carpet is thatmany people in the SarduanaStates which include Adamawa,Borno and Yobe do not considerthemselves part of Nigeria owinggreater allegiance to the old ElKanem-Bornu Empire. The Kanem

Bornu Empire (c. 700–1376) waslocated in the present countriesof Chad, Nigeria and Libya. At itsheight it encompassed an area cov-ering not only much of Chad, butalso parts of southern Libya (Fez-zan) and eastern Niger, northeast-ern Nigeria andnorthern Cameroon. For centuries,this area has been subjected to nu-merous jihads including oneagainst Germany which had colo-nized part of this empire. After thedefeat of Germany in World War1, part of the Sarduana States cameunder British Administration. Thearea was not however a part ofNigeria at independence in 1960,since a 1959 plebiscite meant to in-corporate it into Nigeria failed. Itwas not until 1961 that the areavoted in a referendum to join Nige-ria allegedly after much arm twist-ing of the local emirs and forceddeportation of those seeking selfdetermination. During the lastConstitutional Conference, HisEminence, the Lamido ofAdamawa was quoted as sayingthat he would not hesitate to leavethe contraption called Nigeria.


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It is important to understand theBoko Haram ideology which issame as those held by other radi-calized Islamists, the head ofwhich is the Islamic State in Iraqand Syria, (ISIS) or (ISIL) to whichBoko Haram had pledged alle-giance or Baya’a. Issues of popu-lar western culture like drinking,mode of dressing, mode of educa-tion are regarded as apostasy thatoffend their interpretation of theMoslem religion and are impera-tives for takfir and jihad. For BokoHaram, education is classified intothree makarantan allo, makarantanadini and makarantan boko. Whereasthe first two are allowed, sincethey involve religious study andpious living; makarantan bokowhich is western style education isseen as evil, against the teachingsof Islam and cause for jihad. Theultimate aspiration of this group isto die in a jihad with the belief thatheaven is assured. The problem ofradical Islam is not limited to Nige-ria but has spread worldwide.What compounds the Nigeriancase is that we are not equippedwith the resources or will power

for this confrontation. This is thereason for the very few convictionsto date of high profile suspects.People who are radicalized spanfrom the ordinary to the childrenof the Nigerian elite like a formerSupreme Court Judge, a formerChairman of a premier bank, chil-dren of top military officers andother service branches. There hasbeen little headway in cutting offthe flow of funds to the group. It isalleged that many state governorswere paying a special tax or jizyato this dreaded group. Honestly, itis difficult to tell who is a BokoHaram or who is a Boko Haramsympathizer in Nigeria today.Boko Haram has grown into adragon under our eyes. Nigeriansare hoping that in PresidentBuhari, they have found the knightthat will slay the dragon. Whilethere is no doubt that the Presidentwill do his best, we must examinethe obstacles ahead. Boko Harammembers are part of the generalpopulation in many of the North-ern parts of Nigeria especially theNorth East. The infiltration of itsmembership and sympathies have

permeated the security agencies.As an example, it was alleged thatthe top police echelon contrivedthe escape of Kabir Umaru Sokotothe mastermind of the Madalla ter-rorist attack which killed andmaimed scores of people. Since hewas recaptured in 2012, not muchhas been heard about him or otherhigh terrorism subjects like AminuSadiq Ogwuche the alleged mas-termind of the April 14, 2014Nyanya bombing. Many suspect acollusion between the securityagencies and the judiciary to stallthese and similar cases whosetimely public adjudication andpunishment will show seriousnessin the fight against terrorism. Inthe so called fight against terrorismin Nigeria, the government has notgone against the clerics and Imamswho radicalize the youth, yet forall other countries fighting thismenace, that is step number one.The government has also refusedto adequately police the bordersespecially around the North Eastaxis allowing free entry to peoplefrom Chad, Cameroon, Mali,Niger, Sudan, etc obfuscating de-


News & Politics

liberately the definition of “who isa Nigerian?”In a war situation like the one

Nigeria is in, terms such as dueprocess, constitutional rights, ruleof law, freedom of expression andassociation are usually touted byapologists to mask criminality andcorruption. It should not come as asurprise that Boko Haram and af-filiates are using so many dubiousHuman Rights Groups to impedethe war against terrorism. We should not lose sight of wherethe seeds of the insurgency weresown. Whereas the quest for theimplementation of full Sharia lawin the Northern parts of Nigeriapredated the 1960 independence, itwas not until 1999 that a new cropof advocates with clout made it areality spearheaded by then Zam-fara State Governor. Since then,Sharia has been fully implementedin nine states with Muslim major-ity and in some states with Muslimplurality. With this development,an atmosphere was created for theberthing of extremist ideology likethat espoused by Boko Haram.It smacks of naiveté not to under-stand that it is a cardinal principleof the ideology never to negotiate.Martyrdom in the course of jihad ispromoted and central to the apoca-lyptic ideology. Those seeking orpromising to broker peace withthis group are either naive, igno-

rant or deceitful. This also goes forpeople who refuse to understandthe rationale behind the abductionof women, especially young girlsand children. Explaining the ideol-ogy, Graeme Wood in his article“What Isis Really Wants“ in theMarch 2015 edition of the Atlantic,quoted what the sect said shouldhappen to women and girls ab-ducted from the Sinjar Province inIraq thus:“ Yazidi women and children [areto be] divided according to theShariah amongst the fighters of theIslamic State who participated inthe Sinjar operations [in northernIraq] … Enslaving the families ofthe kuffar [infidels] and taking theirwomen as concubines is a firmlyestablished aspect of the Shariahthat if one were to deny or mock,he would be denying or mockingthe verses of the Koran and thenarrations of the Prophet … andthereby apostatizing from Islam.“

From the above, one can deducethat it is wishful thinking, for any-one to be optimistic of recoveringthe Chibok girls wholly or greatnumbers.It also has to be examined if the in-surgency in the North East ofNigeria is fuelled by MultinationalOil Corporations acting independ-ently or in collusion with Nigeria’sneighbors seeking to take advan-

tage of oil which it is believed,exists in commercial quantities inthe Chad basin.The fight against Boko Haram hasrecently been compounded by therecent killing of Shiite Muslims,potentially opening a dreaded con-flict between Sunnis and Shiitessuch as is ravaging Iraq.To begin to confront the problemof radical Islam, we must keep inmind that it is an ideology which isnot restricted to the North East ofNigeria alone. The North East isimportant only to the extent that acontiguous territory is a require-ment in the establishment of aCaliphate. However, the theater ofwar is the entire Nigeria and noplace is safe.

Dr. Jude Akubuilo is an Interna-tional Trade & Public AffairsConsultant. He holds a Doctorate Degree inLaw from the University of Birm-ingham, England

** (Part 2 to follow in the Life & TimesSummer/2016 Edition)


Religion

by Pastor Dipo Kalejaiye

Religion

A man was crying over a grave-stone saying “why did you die?why did you die?” Another manquestioned him. “Did yourmother die?” “No”. “Your fa-ther?” “No”. But the man contin-ued to weep profusely “why didyou die?” “Well, who died?” Heanswered: “This was my wife’sfirst husband.”For many couples, it has come tothat. They daily regret and lamenttheir decision to marry their mate.The marriage is a horror movieplaying out in real time! A de-ceased Christian had the follow-ing written on his gravestone:

“Beneath these stones do lieBack to back, my wife and I

When the last trumpet the air


Religion

shall fill,if she gets up, I’ll just lie still.”

Wow! This Christian was willingto forfeit the resurrection inorder to avoid any further co-habitation or interaction with hisearthly spouse! Spouses who arestill alive and can’t bear thenightmare of what they call mar-riage bail out through divorce.Someone said “Love the quest,marriage the conquest, divorcethe inquest.” Today, love queststhat matured into marriage con-quests are ending in bitter andsordid divorce “inquests”.If this article succeeds in helpingyour marriage to avoid becom-ing part of the “inquest” statis-tics, it has accomplished one ofits primary objectives. I hope itdoes!Do you know that among Amer-icans who have said their wed-ding vows, one out of three havebeen divorced at least once?George Barna, who directed astudy on this, noted that Ameri-cans have grown comfortablewith divorce as a natural part oflife:“There no longer seems to bemuch of a stigma attached to di-vorce; it is now seen as an un-avoidable rite of passage.Interviews with young adultssuggest that they want their ini-tial marriage to last, but are notparticularly optimistic aboutthat possibility. There is alsoevidence that many young peo-ple are moving toward embrac-ing the idea of serial marriage,in which a person gets marriedtwo or three times, seeking adifferent partner for each phaseof their adult life.”

You will agree with me that thisprognosis is grim and scary.However, your marriage doesnot have to help fulfill it. Youcan literally inoculate yoursagainst the enemies of marriage.

Sun Tzu, the ancient Chinesewarrior, wrote in hisclassic The Art of War,“if you know your enemy andknow yourself, you need notfear the result of a hundredbattles. If you know yourselfbut not the enemy, for everyvictory gained you will alsosuffer a defeat.”Of course, it is obvious that ifyou know neither yourself northe enemy, you have lost thebattle even before it starts!I have identified below some ofthe enemies of marriage andwhat you should know aboutyourself so that you may makechanges that’ll help fortifyyours against these enemies.

Enemy Number One: Lack ofunshakable foundation.Many Hollywood marriagesare built on the foundation ofbeauty, money, success andfame. These are defective foun-dations. They are shifting andsinking sand. Therefore themarriages collapse fast. Haveyou asked yourself: What is thefoundation of my marriage? Ifit is built on “sand”, then whenthe wind of life begins to blowand the rains of life begin to falland the flood of life begins tobeat against it, it will crumble,but, if it is built on the “rock”, itwill stand. There was a ship-wreck and a young boy was theonly survivor. He had strug-gled against the waves to swimto a rock he saw not too faraway from him. He held ontothe rock for three days until hewas rescued. When askedwhether he was not afraidbeing alone day and night inopen sea for three days, hereplied, “I never stopped shak-ing since I bear-hugged therock, but the rock itself did notshake.” There is another rockthe bible talks about. He iscalled the Rock of Ages- He isan unshakeable Shaker, un-breakable Breaker, and Immov-able Mover. His name is Jesus

Christ. When a marriage is builton this Rock, it has acquired anunshakeable, unbreakable andimmovable foundation. All thatthe couple needs to do is takemarching orders from the Rock.His manual is the Bible. It ex-plains their roles and offersguidance on how to fulfillthem. What is more? The Rockis also the One who empowersand enables them to obey thesemarching orders! Remember, itdoes not matter how gorgeous,luxurious and expensive amansion is, if its foundation isdefective, it’ll come crashingdown. It’s not a matter of“whether’, it’s a matter of“when”. Lack of an unshake-able foundation is an enemy ofmarriage. Is yours fortifiedagainst it?

Enemy Number Two: Lack ofallowances for daily irrita-tions.A couple had been married forfifteen years and is now havingmore than the usual disagree-ments. The wife came up withthe idea of creating a Fault Boxin which both will drop dailynotes of irritable habits of theother spouse. At the end of themonth, they’ll examine thenotes, apologize to each otherand cease their irritable habits.So, she diligently dropped offinto the box notes of daily irri-tations: leaving the jelly top offthe jar, wet towels on theshower floor, dirty socks not inthe hamper and on and on. Atthe end of the month, after din-ner, they opened the Fault Boxand the wife began to read outher notes of what irritated herdaily during the month. Thehusband apologized and prom-ised to make amends. Now itwas her turn. She noticed a lotof notes were also there but allof them have the same mes-sage, “I love you”! The instruc-tion from the Rock inColossians 3:13 says you mustmake allowances for eachother’s faults… He also saysyou should always cut your

Religion

spouse some slack and acceptthem the way He The Rock hasaccepted you: John 6:37: “TheFather gives me my people.Every one of them will come tome, and I will always acceptthem”. God says “I just loveyou, period! Not because ofwhat you do! ” Jesus treated usmuch better than we deserve.He made us acceptable. Notthat we changed. He simply

says “because of me, you areacceptable to God”. Acceptyour spouse as God has ac-cepted you- unconditionally.Until they overcome their irrita-ble habits, accept them. It doesnot mean you approve of theseirritations. It simply means youare obeying the marching or-ders of the Rock and by sodoing you are fortifying yourmarriage against this enemy

number two. Lack of makingallowances for your spouse’sdaily irritations is an enemy ofmarriage. Is yours fortifiedagainst it?

Enemy Number Three: Lack ofloving actsLove is not an emotion becauseemotions cannot be com-manded at will. For example


Religion

you cannot command someoneto cry or to be happy or be sor-rowful. These are emotions andoften uncontrollable. Com-manding someone “don’tworry, be happy”, won’t cut itfor a grieving spouse. It is amyth that you can “fall in love”the way you uncontrollably, ac-cidentally fall into a ditch! Lovecan cause strong emotions butis itself not an emotion. Love ismore than sentimentality. Morethan arousal. More than attrac-tion. Love is a behavior. Love isaction. Love is a commitmentyoumake todosome-thing.Youmake adecisionto loveor notto love.That iswhy

God commands us to love ourneighbors as ourselves and thehusbands to love their wives asChrist loves the church andgave Himself for her. 1 John3:18 says “Let us love not withwords but with action and intruth”. Acting in love whenyour spouse does not deserve itis acting like God who lovesyou and acts in love towardsyou when you don’t deserve it.It is the highest form of love.When your spouse is beingnasty, you act back in love notbecause that’s what she de-serves but because love is whatshe needs and that’s whatyou’re giving her. Maybe you

feel so abused by your spousethat you have lost all feelings oflove and you are contemplatinga divorce. Hold it: there was awoman who had lost all feel-ings of love for her husband.She hated her husband andwanted to hurt him all she can.Her psychiatrist advised herthat the best way to accomplishthis goal is to act in extremelyloving way towards him, show-ing him unusual kindness,showering him with compli-ments and doing stuff for himthat he loves- without expect-

ing any appreciation in return!When he’s used to all these andhe’s become fully dependent onher, having enjoyed her com-pany greatly, he would do any-thing to not let her go. Thenbam! She will file for divorce.“That will shatter him com-pletely” said the psychiatrist.“He would not be able to bearthe thought of losing you” heconcluded. So the lady wentand did all she was told to thebest of her ability. She really ex-celled at them because shewanted him to really hurt ather departure when the timecomes. On her return date ofappointment with her psychia-

trist, he asked her, “so how didit go?”. She said the marriage isgreat now and the husband isso happy and in high spirit.“Great”, said the psychiatrist.“Now go and file the divorcepapers”. “Never” she shoutedindignantly, my husband and Iare having the fun of our livesin this marriage. I love my hus-band dearly!” Feelings of lovefollow acts of love. You don’tneed divorce. You need to startacting in love. Not acting inlove in your marriage will robyou of loving feelings for your

spouse. Itcan causeyou to say “Idon’t lovehim/heranymore”. Itis an enemyof marriage.Is yours for-tified againstit?

****This article was first pub-lished in SPRING/2013

(to be continued)

Oladipo Kalejaiye holds aPh.D degree in law and was alitigation attorney in Nigeria,Europe and the United Statesfor over 17 years. He enteredinto full time ministry in year2000, and currently serves asthe pastor of InternationalChristian Center, Los Angeles( You can contact him on theweb: www.iccla.com, Face-book: iccla/facebook, Twitter:@DipoKalejaiye)

Life & Times Spring 2016 Edition

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