Life Mapping with Jesus

Time and circumstances are keeping us from becoming the

people we were created to be. We all need a way to lter

out the unimportant activities and to identify the important

activities that will lead us to the path to our best future. Admiral

Bidcoff once said, “We live our lives as if we were involved

in a series of disasters rather than in an orderly process to

achieve the natural results we desire.” Life mapping is the

orderly process that leads us to achieve the natural results we

desire and deserve. The reward for investing your time in the

creation of your Life Map can be better than any other use of

that time.

foG is a friend of God and his meat is to do the will of God.LIF

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JES

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SELF IMPROVEMENT

U.S. $XX.XX

Life Mapping with JesusFinding Your Place

in God’s Eternal Plan

foG

Copyright © 2014 foG.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any

information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

WestBow Press books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:

WestBow PressA Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

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ISBN: 978-1-4908-2811-4 (sc)ISBN: 978-1-4908-2812-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014903698

Printed in the United States of America.

WestBow Press rev. date: 3/13/2014

http://www.westbowpress.com

“We live our lives as if we were involved in a series of disasters rather than in an orderly process to achieve the natural results we desire.” – Admiral Bidcoff

“If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up someplace else.” – Yogi Berra

“And when the Lord saw that he turned aside to see, God called unto him out of the midst of the bush, and said, ‘Moses, Moses.’ And he said, ‘Here am I.’” – Exodus 3:4

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Table of Contents

The Gathering . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1

The Life Mapping Process . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .17

Beliefs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .21

Principles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40

Goals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .52

Activities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .65

To Do List . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .81

How To . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90

Appendix . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .101

Sample Budgets . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .101

Suggested Reading List . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .103

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Chapter 1 – The Gathering

Q uiet! Can we hear it? What calls our hearts? Something deep

inside is stirring. Will we listen, will we understand, and will

we act? If we are ready we will!

We are amazing creatures! No one else has our unique traits,

skills, abilities and capacity for acquiring wisdom. With them we can

do anything, but what will we do?

To put the question another way: What is the most important

thing we will do in our lifetimes? Some might answer; successfully

raise children, have an enjoyable career or find the cure for cancer.

These are all good answers. But, are they really the most important?

Will they bring us happiness and peace of mind?

Mencius, a Chinese Confucian and contemporary of Aristotle,

was once asked an interesting question by his disciple Kung-too.

“All are equally men, but some are great men, and some are little

men----how is this?”

Mencius replied, “Those who follow that part of themselves which

is great are great men; those who follow that part which is little are

little men. Let a man first stand fast in the supremacy of the nobler

part of his constitution, and the inferior part will not be able to take

it from him. It is simply this which makes the great man.” Thus we

must discover our nobler part, or as Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) said,

“Let each become all that he was created capable of being.” “Jesus saith

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unto them, My meat is to do the will of him that sent me, and to finish his

work.” - John 4:34, should we do less?

Life Mapping is a process that helps us reach our full potential.

It helps us remove the conflicts that separate us from becoming

the person we were created to be. These conflicts exist because of

the inconsistencies in what we think about, what we believe, and

ultimately what we do. It is these conflicts that confine and confuse

us and keep us from becoming the person we are capable of becoming.

When the conflicts are gone, we feel whole. It is a healing process

that allows us to reach our nobler part. We learn who we are and how

we fit into this world. It is a process that calls those seeking their

nobler part. It is “The Gathering” of our nobler parts.

What have we lost?

Have we noticed that Americans have become angry? For more

than half of the twentieth century we could walk down the street and

receive pleasant greetings from almost everyone. Advertisements

featured smiling people. Early television was dominated by shows

like Ozzie and Harriet. Ozzie always had a smile on his face, even

when he was mischievous. Sometime during the period from the

mid-1950s to the end of the 1960s, our mood changed. Was it the

Vietnam War? Are we angry with ourselves for being in it or losing

it? Are we angry that some of our heroes were assassinated, John F.

Kennedy, Malcolm X, Robert Kennedy and Dr. Martin Luther King?

Whatever the reason, notice the results. Start looking at advertising,

listening to some of the hard driving modern music, the way people

drive their cars, or the looks people give us when we walk down

the street. As Hall of Famer Harmon Killebrew put it, “The thing I

notice (with today’s ballplayers) is that they don’t seem to be having

as much fun as we used to.” Even our high priced entertainers seem

Life Mapping with Jesus

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mad at the world. Many of them act out this feeling in the way they

perform and conduct their lives. It is not a pretty picture. If we have

to be tough to survive, that will be the image we project.

Madison Avenue calls it attitude! Is this how a civilized society

should act? Why are we so angry? Why do we fly off the handle

when things don’t go our way? Isn’t the average American better off

now then during the 1930s? Maybe some people feel guilty they have

so much. Maybe our sincere desire to do a good job has diminished.

Maybe, we now expect people to look out for themselves, so we

must be tough and look out for ourselves. Could our anger be a

result of a feeling that no one else cares about us? Are we alone? Is

it isolationism at its worst?

David Myers, psychologist from Hope College in Michigan, tells

us that when it comes to happiness, “External circumstances matter

surprisingly little, whether you’re wealthy or physically disabled

matter so much less than you’d guess.” He researched thousands

of studies on happiness to determine who is happy and why. The

results of his work are found in his book The Pursuit of Happiness.

Happy people should exhibit happy behavior. The average American’s

behavior during the last fifty years does not suggest that we are happy.

This is true even though we have more of the external trappings

and generally better circumstances than those living in the prior

fifty years. Thus, works like The Pursuit of Happiness are leading us

toward the answer. We must look within ourselves if we are to find

happiness. We must change our attitudes. “A merry heart doeth good

like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” - Proverbs 17:22.

Where is our Vision?

America has lost its way. We no longer have a vision of our future,

nor the visionaries who could lead us to it. Things are changing so

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rapidly that most of us do not take the time to look past the crisis we

are currently facing. Survival so preoccupies us that we run from the

beast that chases rather than toward the goal of future happiness. If

we are to find happiness, it will be a vision that serves as the beacon

to lead us there. But who will create this vision?

People feel lost and dissatisfied with their lives. Mothers are

juggling careers and families, students are graduating without a

sense of a career path, and the baby boomers are turning sixty-five

unable to see the meaning in their lives. The Life Mapping process

is a tool that is desperately needed in America today. During the

past fifty years, divorce rates have risen, adolescent violence has

increased, corporate crime has become routine and the number of

people living in poverty continues to rise, uncontrolled. This is only

the tip of the iceberg, the part we can readily see. How could we

ever really know the misery and desperation people are feeling, just

below the surface they let us see? People have no safe place for their

visions, except deep within their own hearts, the only place no one

else can enter and destroy it. “These things I have spoken unto you, that

in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of

good cheer; I have overcome the world.” - John 16:33, this is the vision

that will lead us out of our hopeless state.

Our past and our future.

Understanding who we are, who we are capable of becoming and

how we fit into this world will require us to step back and look at the

bigger picture. We need to understand that we are dependent upon

the delicate balances in nature. If one small element, such as oxygen,

were taken out of the mix it would mean the end of humanity.

We must also think long range and globally. What will the

long-term results be, generations into the future, of the world we are


5

creating? No longer can one country or one continent ignore the rest

of the world when planning its future. International organizations

must learn to work together for the common good of all humanity.

This will happen when enough individuals around the world unite

behind a common cause. Governments are slow to change. Usually,

change occurs only after a majority of the population demands it.

Are we going to be part of the population that demands this change?

The history of humanity is filled with ideas. As we study these

ideas we begin to see a trend. Concern for the development of

humanity was the theme that ran through the times of Abraham,

Moses, the Vedas, Lao Tzu, Buddha, Confucius, Socrates, Aristotle,

Jesus, St. Augustine, Mohammed, St. Thomas Aquinas, Rene

Decartes, William Law, Benjamin Franklin, David Hume, Immuel

Kant, Thomas Paine, Joseph Smith, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Abraham

Lincoln, Soren Kierkegaard, Henry David Thoreau, and Gandhi.

We can’t let the long list overwhelm us. The point is that even

though the outward appearance of people’s lives improved because of

technological advancements, the development of humanity was their

primary focal point. Principles such as honesty, loyalty, humility and

respect were stressed. It is sometime in the 1960’s that things began

to change. The pace of life began to quicken. People were forced to

make more decisions in a single day than their parents made in a

month or their great-grandparents made in a whole year.

The ideas that grounded those past generations begin to blur, as

sound Principles were no longer passed from one generation to the

next. We have forgotten what God told us about His commandments

in Deuteronomy 6:7, “thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children.”

Our newest generation is forced to deal with this ever-quickening

pace without the benefit of the Principles that helped their ancestors

make the tough choices life forces upon us. In contrast, current ideas

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are focused more on having more, looking better, being more efficient,

appearing smarter, acquiring skills or just plain winning, at any

cost. Just win baby! Just do it! The more we emphasize winning, the

more losers we create. Losers, who need to figure out a way to win,

next time. The result of the wave this kind of thinking creates is

devastating.

I believe that this wave also leads us away from our nobler part.

As we begin to do whatever it takes to win, we find that we have

deviated from the inner blueprint, which guides us to our nobler

part. This inner blueprint has been given many names; conscious,

intuition, soul, spirit, karma, aura or Tao. But God tells us, “And

thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in

it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.” - Isaiah

30:21. Not following our inner blueprint leads to deviations that

create conflicts. We no longer see ourselves as the noble person we

had hoped to become. The wave begins to build as our sub-conscious

mind leads us to select new methods that support our new image of

ourselves. Each day we move farther away from the person we were

born to become. Each day we are less happy with the person we are

becoming. We can no longer allow ourselves the time to think about

the conflict…it is now too painful. We are afraid to be alone with

our thoughts, so, we listen to music, watch television, we immerse

ourselves in work or play, sometimes all at once, anything to keep

our minds busy.

Will this work? It will not work! Our sub-conscious minds are

still able to feel the conflict and we remain disturbed. Only now,

we aren’t sure why. We have the big house, the fancy car and the

great job. But we aren’t satisfied. So, we start looking for answers

in all the wrong places. We get a divorce, change companies, yell at

the kids, we start drinking or smoking or snorting. When all the


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time the answer lay locked within us. If only we will stop the noise

and commotion long enough to look inside for the answer. I believe

Samuel Johnson (1709-1784), a British writer and lexicographer,

referred to this problem when he wrote, “The fountain of content

must spring up in the mind, and he who hath so little knowledge of

human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his

own disposition, will waste his life in fruitless efforts and multiply

the grief he proposes to remove.” We can now ask ourselves this

question: “Are we becoming the people we were created to be?” If

not, we must do something about it, now!

This is where Life Mapping comes into play. It takes us from

where we are to where we want to be. It is a process that helps us

put our lives into perspective. It takes us through the steps necessary

for us to find the answers that lie within us. Life Mapping helps us

stop the noise and see beyond the superficial world of today, to a life

of substance with deeper, clearer values. We create a vision of the

people we really are destined to become. This vision will lead us to

change the daily Activities, which will define our lives. If we have

been trustworthy in every Activity involving our neighbors, our

actions have defined us as trustworthy people. Once our Activities

are in alignment with our inner blueprint, we begin to live a life that

we can define as successful.

What is our inner blueprint? It is our private unique internal plan

for our lives. “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou

camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet

unto the nations.” - Jeremiah 1:5. This plan, if we choose to follow it, is

the one God saw for us before we were even created. It doesn’t change

but our understanding of it does. The more we learn to listen and

understand it, the closer we will be to living it and experiencing the

joy associated with that alignment.

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Twenty years ago I was in management with one of the largest

insurance companies in the world. I used the basic Life Mapping

techniques with all of the people I was managing. This group of

individuals rose from 50th to 1st in sales and service in our region and

from 1150th to 38th in the company over a nine-year period. This was

accomplished in a manner consistent with the integrity that grew out

of the core Beliefs and Principles of the group. We resisted the pressure

to shortcut our Principles in order to receive instant recognition,

preferring instead to hold fast to the Belief that our devotion to correct

Principles would prove successful, in the long run. We were always

near the bottom of month long promotion lists. They are terribly

disruptive to normal operations. However, by the end of the year

we were always near the top of the lists. Daily dedication to normal

Activities produces the desired results over the long run. Those normal

Activities seem less than spectacular in the short run, but they have a

compounding effect that produces extraordinary outcomes.

The inevitable result of the Life Mapping process is evolution.

This evolutionary process begins to change the way we relate to life

in general. Financial success begins to take a back seat to the need

to become ever more fully human. The result is a more peaceful life.

The wonders of nature become more evident. There no longer is a

need to acquire things. Sharing develops into an enjoyable passion.

Relationships become more rewarding. Life Mapping is the tool that

opens the lines of communication, which leads to rewarding and

fulfilling relationships. “The steps of a good man are ordered by the

LORD: and he delighteth in his way.” - Psalms 37:23, and we will

delight in His way, as we evolve on the path to our nobler part.

Ultimately, even the most successful life ends. Living a life that

we can define as successful also means enjoying the journey, as well

as having fewer regrets when the journey ends. This reminds me of


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the story of Alfred Bernhard Nobel (1833-1896). He was the Swedish

chemist and engineer who invented dynamite in 1866 and made a

fortune selling the formula. When his brother died, the newspaper

ran Alfred’s obituary by mistake. When Alfred read the obituary

he was shocked to see how he would be remembered. He didn’t

want to be remembered as the inventor of mass destruction, so, he

bequeathed his fortune to establish the Nobel Prize. What will our

legacy be? We are capable of reaching our destiny and that would

truly be a wonderful legacy!

Choices.

We can take the world as it comes to us and conform to that

reality or we can identify our dreams, work to bring them to life

and help the world change into a better place for all humanity. Each

of us sees the world through the filter of our own lives. This means

that reality is the sum of all our individual experiences. Reality is

one large puzzle and each of us is but one piece. But, the puzzle is

not complete without all the pieces. This is why every person is

important in the final analysis. John Donne (1572-1631) once wrote,

“No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the

Continent, a part of the main. . . Any man’s death diminishes me

because I am involved in Mankind; and therefore never send to know

for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”

We are part of humanity. We will not be complete until all

of humanity is whole. We should work to eliminate the waste of

human life that is so common today by finding our destiny and

helping others do the same. Leave us not squander Donne’s insight.

“Like the shadow of a tree, our influence often falls where we are

not.”—Anonymous

So, we see that we are not only part of the whole of nature, but we

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are also one piece of the puzzle of humanity. We must not only learn

to live in harmony with these realities but we need to work to protect

and develop their growth. We must each seek opportunities to unite

humanity and resolve situations that are divisive. “Blessed are the

peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.” - Matthew 5:9.

God wants a family to share eternity with and the bigger picture

is that He planned it from the beginning. He has invited all of us.

But, seeing the future, He knows that not all of us will accept His

invitation. “Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not

according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which

was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began,” - 2 Timothy 1:9.

Our suffering and death in this decaying world saddens Him, as it

would any father. “Jesus wept.” - John 11:35

Now that we have seen the bigger picture and humanity’s purpose,

it is time to look at our individual purpose.

Charting our course.

We start by visualizing our lives as trips into some unknown

country, where every turn has three or four forks in the road. When

we are born, we are given an inner blueprint or map to follow. This

blueprint determines the place we start our journey, like the city

where we are born. If nothing else influences us, we will follow the

predetermined route and know which fork to take, every time. As

we take our first few steps, we begin to feel the influence of our

environment. The people, places and things we encounter begin to

affect our decisions. The possible routes or lives we could live become

unlimited. Each fork provides a whole new series of possibilities. Now,

comes the difficult part. Some of those lives are filled with happiness

and fulfillment, while others bring only misery and regrets. How are

we to know which forks to take?


11

We can attack this problem from two basic points of view. We can

accept life as it comes to us and deal with the forks as they appear or

we can develop instruments that will lead us toward the one life we

believe will bring us our desired outcomes. Most people take the first

option. They live not by choice, but by default. As Admiral Bidcoff,

the man responsible for coordinating emergency services for the city

of San Francisco, puts it, “We live our lives as if we were involved in

a series of disasters rather than in an orderly process to achieve the

natural results we desire.” Some might escape this process and still

find happiness. But most will endure a life filled with regrets. Others

will find that a small decision made years before has forced them

onto a route with no possible chance for happiness. This is what Life

Mapping is all about. We can take the inner blueprint we were born

with and use it to create an extraordinary life. The one we deserve.

What our lives are now is not as important as what our lives will

become. We must see our future and live it. “For since the beginning

of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the

eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for

him.” - Isaiah 64:4, for God has created a joyous future for us.

Where do our choices lead us?

Abraham Maslow (1908-1970), an American psychologist, once

said, “A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet

must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself.” Being

in alignment with our inner blueprint brings the peace of which

Maslow speaks. This is why so many people think of their lives

as meaningless. Without the peace that living in alignment with

our inner blueprint brings, we experience boredom, angst and/or

unhappiness. When we achieve this alignment we stop running to

some unknown destination. “If you don’t know where you are going,

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you’ll end up someplace else.” Yogi Berra. So, we need to listen to

Yogi, and allow our purpose to summons us instead to make music

or paint or write, or toward whatever destiny that is calling us. The

world is waiting for us to fulfill our part in the grand play.

It is easy to be fooled into thinking that having fun is our purpose.

When we are wealthy enough, we can have fun all day long! But fun

with no purpose soon loses its allure.

How many famous people have decided to commit suicide because

they discovered that fun just isn’t enough? Listen to King Solomon

speak about this problem, “And whatsoever mine eyes desired I kept not

from them, I withheld not my heart from any joy; for my heart rejoiced in all

my labour: and this was my portion of all my labour. Then I looked on all the

works that my hands had wrought, and on the labour that I had laboured to

do: and, behold, all was vanity and vexation of spirit, and there was no profit

under the sun.” - Ecclesiastes 2:10-11. Fun is what makes the journey

enjoyable but without a journey there is little fun for most of us. When

we learn our purpose and start living the journey, we need to make

sure that we don’t forget to have fun along the way. But fun alone will

not bring us peace. Only living our destiny will achieve that.

Steve Martin’s character in Leap of Faith is a fake preacher/healer.

He takes his fancy show on the road bilking the bumpkins in towns

all over America. He is having fun, but seems somehow unfulfilled.

Then one day a miracle happens. He cures a crippled boy and brings

rain to a drought-ridden town. He is so surprised and moved by the

experience that he decides to leave everything and everyone behind.

During the last few hours leading up to his hitching a ride out of

town in a truck, we feel him changing as he realizes that he had not

been fulfilling his destiny. As he sits in the cab of the truck, we see

the pure joy and freedom he experiences as he begins to live his life

in alignment with his inner blueprint. He is off to create the life he


13

was destined to live. How will we feel when we begin living the life

we were destined to live? Remember, the world is waiting for us!

We all need help finding our gifts. Will a completed Life Map

help us find our gifts? Imagine our heading off to visit our best

friend at her new home, without directions? The right map would

be indispensable. The map would provide us with a variety of routes

from which to choose. We might pick the most direct route or the

most scenic for our journey.

The odds of reaching our friend’s home, and enjoying the trip,

would be substantially increased. A Life Map is a map of our life,

with our basic route identified. There will be changes along the way

but having the Life Map will give us a much better chance of success

in finding our gifts, enjoying our lives, and fulfilling our destinies.

Dr. Gail Matthews, a psychology professor at Dominican

University of California, has recently conducted a research project

studying strategies for achieving goals. Her research found that

people who wrote down their goals, had action plans for there

achievement, shared them with a friend and sent weekly updates

to that friend were on average 77% more likely to accomplish their

stated goals. Yes, written plans do work! Yes, a completed and

followed Life Map will work!

We all want to become successful. We are born with this trait.

One of the problems in achieving results is defining success. A Life

Map will help us define our meaning of success. It will unlock the

inner peace that is within us. A Life Map is our personal plan for

reaching our unique destinies. The Life Mapping process will take

us through the steps necessary to determine what really matters to

us. Incredibly, most of us spend most of our lives doing things we

really don’t want to do. This is true of every aspect of our lives. This

world is moving so quickly that we continue to let circumstances

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or other people decide our everyday Activities for us. These are

the very Activities that define our lives. We seem to find the whole

thing too difficult to deal with, and so, we watch our lives as if we

were watching a play, unable to control it, nor change it. This is why

Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) once wrote, “The mass of men lead

lives of quiet desperation.” Don’t be one of those people. We need to

take the time to think about our lives and create a life we will love.

We can shift directions now and create a new life from the inside out.

We must not become one of the lost souls who look back on their life

and says, “This was not the life I was supposed to live!”

Great achievements and lives are built on a sound foundation of

dreams. They are created in the mind first, on paper second, and

finally in the daily Activities that lead to their accomplishment.

“For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good

pleasure.” - Philippians 2:13, what higher calling could we have? Wise

people take their dreams of the world and their tomorrows, and begin

living them immediately. We can’t wait for a perfect situation before

we change. We must first change our daily Activities, and then the

world and our tomorrows will follow. Which is more difficult…to

stop what we are doing, develop a Life Map of our future and begin

living it today, or to accept life as it is with the pain and regrets that

will surely follow for the majority of us? These are two very different

paths. On which path does a person truly suffer more? Let us take the

advice of Robin Williams’ character in the movie Dead Poet’s Society

when he tells his students to make their lives extraordinary, to gather

their rosebuds while they may and to seize the day. Carpe Diem!

Imagination.

Our Life Map begins with an exploration of our own imagination.

Instead of discovering new worlds, we discover our place in this


15

world. We learn to define ourselves, and our roles in this world.

This part of the process requires us to understand our own Belief

system and the list of Principles worthy of our nobler part. Why is

this important? Most of us would describe ourselves as truthful and

we are truthful most of the time. However, occasionally it is not to

our benefit to tell the truth. This is when we are truly tested. This

is when we are truly defined as truthful or liars. Without solid

Principles in place, supported by Beliefs, we will lie when it benefits

us. We will then be defined as liars. Our conscious mind may hold on

to the false opinion that we are truthful, but our subconscious mind

discerns the deception.

We have created a conflict. “There is no peace, saith my God, to the

wicked.” - Isaiah 57:21, and there can be no peace while this conflict

exists. This conflict works to destroy the foundation our lives are

built upon. We think less of ourselves and our subconscious mind

begins to sabotage us. If we make a habit of lying, we begin to find

lying less and less painful, until one day even our conscious mind

concedes and we begin to rationalize that it’s acceptable because

everybody lies. It was the action in direct conflict with our Belief

that began this negative spiral. Keeping our actions in alignment

with our Beliefs is at the heart of the Life Mapping process. What

are the steps?

• To learn to remove the conflicts in our lives, we begin by

understanding our own Belief system.

• We develop our list of Principles, each supported by one of

our own Beliefs.

• Next, we establish Goals in every area of our lives, making

sure that these Goals do not create a conflict with any of our

Beliefs or Principles.

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• Then we create a list of Activities for each Goal. These are

the Activities that are required for us to achieve each Goal.

• Finally, we create a To Do List, which is made up of the

Activities currently needed to take the next step forward on

the path to achieving our Goals.

Now our actions will not only lead us to our goals, but they will

begin to define us as the noble person we are becoming. As we live

our Life Map, our vision of the future will begin to clarify. It is as if

we have been walking in a dense fog, unable to clearly see our futures

when our Life Map leads us out of the fog, and our vision becomes

clearer, which allows us to see more changes we need to make on the

path to improving our Life Map and our futures. We will continue to

update our Life Maps as we proceed. It is a process, not a Goal. One

day we will look back in wonder at how far we have come.

Our Life Map and the vision that results will sustain us through

all of life’s challenges. We will be ready for them! We will thrive in

spite of those challenges! “These things I have spoken unto you, that in

me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of

good cheer; I have overcome the world.” - John 16:33.

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Chapter 2 – The Life Mapping Process

L ife Mapping is a five-step process.

1) Determining our Beliefs.

2) Developing our Principles.

3) Deciding on our Goals.

4) Dividing the Goals into the necessary Activities.

5) Creating our To Do List of current Activities to be done.

Beliefs form the fabric we use to make our map. Without good,

solid material our map will wear out before we reach our destination.

Principles are the rules or laws of the roads we will travel, on the

way to reaching our destinations. Goals are our chosen destinations,

places worthy of our efforts. Activities are the roads that we will travel

to reach those destinations. Once we have chosen our destinations

(Goals) we can decide which roads (Activities) will help us reach

them. A To Do List is the itinerary we will use to make sure we know

where we are supposed to be each day.

Goals help us decide which roads to take (which choices to

make), when we reach forks in the roads (choices in life). We begin

to make better and better decisions. We clearly see the progress in

our journey. This leads to increased confidence and makes future

decisions easier to make. As we develop our Life Map, we should

occasionally check to make sure that we are not creating conflicts

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with our inner blueprint. These conflicts, if studied, uncover the true

motives behind our Activities. Staying true to our inner blueprint

keeps us from being led by wants created by others. Others will try

to influence us through peer pressure and advertising, in an effort

to put their wants above our own true needs. Henry David Thoreau

thought that the problem with Americans was that they have turned

themselves into “mere machines” to acquire wealth without asking

why. Thoreau bore the uncomfortable truth that; material and

moral progress are not as intimately related as Americans think. He

expressed these thoughts in the 1840’s after spending considerable

time away from civilization. What would he think of America in

2013? “Better is a little with righteousness than great revenues without

right.” - Proverbs 16:8.

Finding our path.

Life Mapping doesn’t change us into robots, or someone else’s

vision of who we should be. Rather, it motivates us into becoming

the people we are capable of becoming. It may seem hard at first,

but soon the Activities that we determine to be correct for us will

become habits and it will be easier to stay on our new path than

to go back to the old. “I learned this, at least, by my experiment;

that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and

endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with

a success unexpected in common hours. Why should we be in such

desperate haste to succeed, and in such desperate enterprises? If a

man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he

hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears,

however measured or far away.”—Henry David Thoreau, Walden.

Thoreau wants us to understand that living the life we imagine

might be different from the life other people have expected. We need


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to have the courage to take our time, to find our path, and success

will follow. Life Mapping as defined by Henry David Thoreau!

Character counts.

Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger wrote, How Could You Do That?!, The

Abdication of Character, Courage, and Conscience (HarperCollins). In

her book, she stresses that today’s “victim” mentality has become

an excuse for not accepting personal responsibility. The excuse goes

something like this: “Considering my hurts, disappointments and

traumas, I can’t be responsible for the havoc I wreak in the lives

of others or the mess I’ve made of my own life.” Dr. Schlessinger

asks if anyone really believes this rationalization. If this were true,

only people with exceptional genes, great parents and an ideal

environment can, and will, live lives of character, courage and

conscience. Everyone else is doomed to some varying degree of

failure. The victim mentality we have fostered steals the very hope

from those who need it the most, hope that they can and will be able

to respond to whatever crisis has befallen them.

Keith, 21, was addicted to drugs for eight years. “I took anything,”

he admitted. “To have fun with my friends. It was a blast. I just liked

it.” Now, he is free from the drugs. “I had some long-range goals, and

they just weren’t panning out,” Keith told Dr. Schlessinger, “I tried

changing jobs, friends, love relationships, and still wasn’t getting

anywhere. Then I realized that I was the constant in the equation,

and the constant was that I was using drugs.”

Keith wasn’t diseased. He wasn’t a victim. He just made bad

choices. Victim mentality blurred the lines between right and wrong.

A vicious game of two wrongs make a right begins to escalate into

chaos. Dr. Schlessinger sums it up with, “After listening to people’s

stories for almost two decades, I have concluded that the path to

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healthy relationships and self-respect starts with the decision to do

the right thing.” That is what Life Mapping is all about, giving us a

system to help us decide what is the right thing to do and the process

we need to be able to do it. “He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the

paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.” - Psalms 23:3, all we need to

do is follow the path of righteousness.

Most people have waited their whole lives for someone to come

along and save them. We will be saved only when we realize that

the person we have waited for is none other than ourselves! If we

have found it difficult to overcome our weaknesses, it is because the

freedom we seek has not been preceded by the proper vision of that

freedom. We can create our vision! We can create our Life Maps! “It

is never too late to be what you might have been.”—George Eliot

(Pen name of Mary Ann Evans) (1819-1880).

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Chapter 3 – Beliefs

“M an alone, of all the creatures of earth, can change his own

pattern. Man alone is architect of his destiny. The great

revolution in our generation is the discovery that human beings, by

changing the inner attitudes of their minds can change the outer

aspects of their lives.”—William James (1842-1910).

How do we change the inner attitudes of our minds? We change

those attitudes by understanding that the inner attitudes of our

minds are shaped by that which we truly believe. Without a clear

idea of what we truly believe we are like animals, and our attitudes

will be shaped by the environments we live in. We abdicate control

of our attitudes and thereby our lives to anyone willing to take

the time to influence us. Once this is understood, we can reshape

our attitudes by clearly defining what we truly believe. The act

of writing our Beliefs down is the first step in gaining control of

our lives.

Beliefs drive every human behavior. What do we believe? If we

have a well-defined Belief List, and act upon it, we should be happy

with our behavior, most of the time. Without a well-defined Belief

List, we will find ourselves living someone else’s life. The behavior

associated with that life reflects the combined influences of the many

people trying to run our lives for us, including those companies

willing to spend billions of dollars to influence our behavior through

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advertising. Remember, in the final analysis, it is our behavior that

defines us.

Our Beliefs form the fabric we use to make our Life Map. Without

good, solid material our map will wear out before we reach our

destinations. Our Belief List must include the understanding that we

can become the person we see in our vision. It is our opportunity to

experience our inner most being. We must be able to see ourselves

fulfilling our purpose. What is our purpose? Purpose—the reason

one exists. The reason one exists! This is a rather sobering thought.

Can we really have an individual purpose? We can, we do and we

wouldn’t be here if we didn’t. Counselors, psychologists, parents and

priests are not able to tell us our purpose. We need to discover it. We

will find it deep within us. Not everyone has the same purpose. We

are the only ones who know our true inner-feelings, those feelings

that bring us joy. Notice I said joy not pleasure. Pleasure can be a

momentary thing, while joy is lasting. We feel this joy when we

align our Activities with our purpose or blueprint. We might think

that some of the things that bring us joy are trivial, but nothing is

trivial if it brings us and/or others joy. Something as simple as telling

stories to children might be our purpose. That might be the very

reason we are here. We could be the very storytellers who awaken

a child’s dreams.

There are two parts to the purpose question. One is finding

our purpose and the second one is finding the purpose of humanity

in general. This world is very complex and interdependent. Given

enough time and resources we can eventually discover the purpose

of every plant and animal in this world. As noble an activity as this

might seem, it would be slightly less important than discovering our

own purpose. How would knowing our purpose change the way we

lived? Most people would live radically different lives if they knew


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why they were here. Unfortunately, they receive no training and have

very little time to explore the concept. It might even seem like an

impossible task. But, it is less complicated than we might imagine.

It all begins with our idea of how we got here and the study of our

individual gifts.

Finding our passion.

Gifts are those things we do better than most other people. Like

the way Michael Jordan played basketball, Tiger Woods plays golf or

Bill Gates ran Microsoft. We might think that we are without these

special gifts. We need to think again, everyone has them. We can

ask our friends, our spouse or siblings. We just need to think about

the things we enjoy doing. We might have to extract the common

elements from several different Activities before the picture becomes

clear enough for us to see. When we find our gifts they will lead us

to our purpose.

Looking for our gifts

Children bring a wonderful sense of adventure and awe to the

world. Time and adults slowly drain these gifts from all but the

few lucky enough to escape childhood with them still intact. Adam

Werbach wrote an article for the Sierra Club Bulletin, “Three Little

Words.” He tells of a group of researchers that asked a preschool

class, “Who knows how to sing?” Every child eagerly responded

that they could. “Who knows how to dance?” Same response. “Who

knows how to draw?” Yes, every child responded positively. The

following week the researchers were asking the same questions of

the students of an elite university. “Who knows how to sing?” A few

responded that they could sing. “Dance?” Two reluctantly responded

yes. “Draw?” Not one hand.

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It seems that somewhere between preschool and college we

lose these abilities. How did we lose them? Are we letting society

slowly drain them from us with each negative response to our own

individual expression of who we believe we are? Are our children

losing their abilities, or are they losing their confidence in their

abilities? These abilities are but a small sampling of the gifts that are

taken from us as we “grow-up,” whatever that means. A child’s world

is full of wonder and excitement. If we can but nurture that feeling, it

could serve as an antidote for the ills of boredom and disenchantment

waiting along life’s path. We must each work to reacquire these gifts

and to make sure that our children never lose them. It is a gentle

world these gifts allow us to see. And this world is one of hope and

optimism. All problems can be overcome. This is the truth to which

we are born. “And we know that all things work together for good to

them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” -

Romans 8:28. We can’t let the harsh realities of this world spoil our

chances of finding a better one.

We need only look for our gifts to lead us to our purpose. I was

born a teacher. It took me 50 years to figure it out. My early training

taught me that we live in a money-centered world. The study of

who makes the most and why was the task at hand. So, when it

came time for me to find a career, long-term financial success was

the most important element. How could I make the most money?

I decided some form of sales would provide the best financial

potential. I worked as a stockbroker for three years, from 1972 to

1975. Unfortunately, my timing was bad. I watched the market fall

from 1050 to 560 the last twenty-four months of my career. I looked

for another career that provided a more stable income and found

the insurance business. Now, looking back I can clearly see that I

enjoyed teaching people new things, whether it was how to better


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manage their investments or properly insuring against the risks they

were uncomfortable taking. Outside of work, I was always teaching

someone how to bowl, play bridge or write a difficult computer

program. Seeing people understand a new concept or solve a difficult

problem has always provided me with a sense of pure joy! I guess

that is why joy is the center of enjoyed. We need to determine what

brings us joy?

It is a matter of perspective.

“What you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are

standing; it also depends on what sort of person you are.”—C.S.

Lewis, The Magician’s Nephew (HarperCollins, London). This Lewis

quote reminds me of a story. A man was sitting on a fence at the

edge of a small western town in the late 1800’s. A family in a wagon

stopped to ask the man what kind of people lived in the town. The

man asked about the kind of people the family experienced in their

last town. The family replied that they left because most of the people

were mean and cruel. The man responded by informing them that

they would find the same kind of people in this town. A few hours

later another family came along asking the same question. This time

the family informed the man that the people in their last town were

mostly kind and gentle. The man told them that they would find

the same kind of people in this town. Now, it might seem at first

glance that the man was just appeasing these people. A deeper look

will reveal that the man was demonstrating one of the most solid

principles of human interaction.

We as humans will find what we are looking for. If we look for

the good in people, the God in people, we will find it, and if we look

for the bad in people, we will find it. “And ye shall seek me, and find

me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.” - Jeremiah 29:13.

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The same people, but seen from a different point of view. This is the

very point that Lewis makes. If we are to change the world we live

in and the way people respond to us, we need to change the way we

look at situations, our attitudes. Life Mapping is a tool that will help

us and the first step, the one that decides where we are standing, is

developing our Belief List. Everything else is built on this foundation.

“What we are was designed and built by our own thoughts in

our minds. If we nurture ignorant or evil thoughts, pain will soon

follow. If our thoughts are healthy and beneficial, joy will follow us

as surely as our shadows follow us on a sunny day. Most of us are

anxious to improve our circumstances, but are unwilling to improve

ourselves—and we therefore remain bound. If we do not shrink

from an honest self-examination, we can never fail to accomplish

the object upon which our hearts are set. Law, not confusion, is the

dominating principle in the universe; justice, not injustice, is the

soul and substance of life; and righteousness, not corruption, is the

molding and moving force in the spiritual government of the world.

This being so, we have to but right ourselves to find that the universe

is right; and during the process of putting ourselves right, we will

find that as we alter our thoughts towards things and other people,

things and other people will alter towards us.”—James Allen, As a

Man Thinketh. We must guard our thoughts, keep them as pure as we

can and they will serve us well. “For I know the thoughts that I think

toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an

expected end.” - Jeremiah 29:11, God gives us the example of properly

guarding our thoughts.

How did it all begin?

The development of our Belief List starts with that most basic

of all questions: how did it all begin? What do we believe? Could it


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be the result of chaos leading to evolution, the work of God, or some

combination of the two, or some other totally different idea? In 1994,

a Gallup Poll found that 96% of Americans believe in God. Of course,

they have different descriptions and names for God. Some think

that God is somehow responsible for evolution. Current scientific

evidence has confused the average person. This confusion has led

people to abandon the question, in favor of faith or disbelief.

The issue here is for us to resolve the question to our satisfaction.

We can listen to the arguments on both sides, but in the final analysis,

we must decide, if we are going to uncover our individual Life Map.

A belief.

A definition of a belief: “The mental acceptance of and conviction

in something believed to be true.” If we have the conviction and

accept something as true, it should be included in our list. Every time

we add a new Belief, we need to ask why we believe it. Our answer

will lead us to deeper, more basic, Beliefs. The idea in making a Belief

List is to create a list that summarizes our major Beliefs. There is no

correct number of Beliefs. However, if a stranger read our list they

would have a good sense of our idea of how it all began, the purpose

of humanity in general and our individual purpose. There is a list of

resource books, in the appendix, that might help with this activity.

Most importantly, we need to listen to that little voice in our

head. It is our inner blueprint speaking to us.

Here is a sample of a quality Belief List, from John D. Rockefeller,

Jr. (1874-1960):

* I believe in the supreme worth of the individual and in his right

to life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.

* I believe that every right implies a responsibility; every opportunity,

an obligation; every possession, a duty.

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* I believe that the law was made for man and not man for the law;

that government is the servant of the people and not their master.

* I believe in the dignity of labor, whether with head or hand; that

the world owes no man a living, but that it owes every man an

opportunity to make a living.

* I believe that thrift is essential to well-ordered living and that

economy is a prime requisite of a sound financial structure,

whether in government, business, or personal affairs.

* I believe that truth and justice are fundamental to an enduring

social order.

* I believe in the sacredness of a promise, that a man’s word should

be as good as his bond; that character---not wealth or power or

position---is of supreme worth.

* I believe in an all-wise and all-loving God, named by whatever

name, and that the individual’s highest fulfillment, greatest

happiness, and widest usefulness are to be found in living in

harmony with His will.

* I believe that love is the greatest thing in the world; that it alone

can overcome hate; that right can and will triumph over might.

Please note that Rockefeller stated his beliefs in a very positive

manner. There is no room for doubt in a Belief. It is helpful to begin

each belief with the words, I believe. Until we understand our origin,

our purpose, and develop a clear Belief List, we will be at the mercy

of those that would influence us for their own benefit.

I believe that God not only created everything, He gave us an

instruction manual to use. The Bible is God’s gift to us. So, when I

decided to create my Life Map, I used the Word of God to help me

create it. If we believe in God, we can start with the beginning Belief

List that follows. Then, we can delete, add, or change, all or part of

the list, as we believe God has instructed us.


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The Bible tells us that God’s plan is to create an eternal family.

We can all be part of this eternal family, if we choose to be. “He that

overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my

son.” - Revelations 21:7. When we put to use the gifts God has given

us, we are not only doing our part in the creation of the family, but

we are also benefiting from the harmony that follows in our lives.

We eliminate the conflicts created by not living in harmony with

God’s plan for our lives.

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A Beginning Belief List.

Beliefs

I believe:1. There is a God.

a. This Belief supported by the Bible:i. Gen 1:1 – “In the beginning God created the heaven and the

earth.”ii. Ex 3:14 – “And God said unto Moses, ‘I Am That I Am’: and

he said, ‘Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I Am hath sent me unto you.’”

iii. Heb 11:6 – “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

iv. Rev 1:8 – “’I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending,’ saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty.”

b. This Belief supported by the real world:i. There is order in nature. There would be only chaos without

a creator.ii. The world empires have followed Biblical prophecies.

Without a God, one of the evil world leaders would have already conquered the whole world, for they are willing to do anything to get their way.

iii. Thinking about how people act and react in this world will lead us to seeing the truth of the Bible. For the Bible tells us why we all act and react the way we do. This shows us that there is a God, for He created the Bible as a way for us to understand this world, both the good and the evil.


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2. God is pure love.a. In the Bible:

i. 1 Jn 4:8 – “He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.”

ii. Jn 15:13 – “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

iii. Rom 5:8 – “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

b. In the real world:i. When beings sacrifice, sometimes their lives, for others, it

reflects God’s love.ii. When beings show their affection for others, without an

ulterior motive, it demonstrates God’s love.iii. The beauty we see in this decaying evil world speaks of God’s

love.3. God wants an eternal family.

a. In the Bible:i. Lk 20:36 – “Neither can they die any more: for they are

equal unto the angels; and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection.”

ii. Eph 1:4-5 – “According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,”

iii. Jn 11:35 – “Jesus wept.”iv. 2 Tim 1:9 – “Who hath saved us, and called us with an

holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began,”

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v. Rev 21:7 – “He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son.”

b. In the real world:i. The feelings we have for our children and grandchildren,

reflect those of our Father.ii. We receive joy by being around our children and

grandchildren when they are happy. We have no ulterior motive, we are just enjoying their happiness.

iii. We feel pain when we lose someone we love, as God does when one of us rejects His gift.

4. God created everything needed for the development of His family.a. In the Bible:

i. Gen 2:7 – “And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.”

ii. Jer 1:5 – “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.”

iii. Jn 6:39-40 – “And this is the Father’s will which hath sent me, that of all which he hath given me I should lose nothing, but should raise it up again at the last day. And this is the will of him that sent me, that every one which seeth the Son, and believeth on him, may have everlasting life: and I will raise him up at the last day.”

iv. Col 1:13-17 – “Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son: In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins: Who is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of every creature: For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth,


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visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him:”

b. In the real world:i. When we think about how perfectly everything in our world

fits together and what would happen if there were just small differences; our air is 78% nitrogen, 21% oxygen, 1% argon, etc. Change any of these and life as we know it would not exist.

ii. Think about the distance the earth is from the sun, any closer and we would fry, any farther away and we would freeze.

iii. Think about how our minds allow us to fulfill God’s plan for us to subdue this planet and, if we are willing to believe, to fight off the devil and the sins he is always tempting us with.

5. We all have a part to play in the development of God’s eternal family, if we choose to be part of it.a. In the Bible:

i. Jer 29:11 – “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”

ii. Rom 8:28 – “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

iii. 1 Cor 12:12-13 – “For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ. For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.”

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iv. Eph 4:16 – “From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.”

b. In the real world:i. With all of the natural disasters that have occurred in our

world, humans are still on the path to fulfilling God’s plan for the development of His family, as told in the Bible.

ii. We all have different gifts, allowing each of us to fulfill our part in His plan. He made just enough people with these skills to end up with the correct number, that have chosen to be part of the eternal family, to complete all aspects of His plan.

iii. We have all the resources we need to complete His plan and those who are willing to do anything to stop His plan from succeeding have not been able to limit the use of those resources, no matter how hard thy have tried, like trying to keep the Bible from getting into the hands of the common people.

6. God gave us the Bible to help us understand His plan.a. In the Bible:

i. Ps 119:9 – “Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word.”

ii. Prov 1:2,7 – “To know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding…the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

iii. Matt 4:4 – “But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.”

iv. Eph 6:13-17 – “Wherefore take unto you the whole armour


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of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:”

b. In the real world:i. All history verifies the prophecies of the Bible.ii. Nature and the Bible both point perfectly to God and His

plan. His plan includes the beauty we see, the families we enjoy and the love we experience with all He created. Both nature and the Bible tell the same story, unless we are intentionally misrepresenting one of them.

iii. The way the Bible tells us to treat nature produces the best results, when to plant and harvest, what to eat, when to sleep, how to avoid addictions and they all lead to the healthiest and happiest lives.

7. God wants everyone treated fairly, not necessarily the same. Treating people the same is not fair to those that deserve more, as the lazy should not earn the same wages as the industrious.a. In the Bible:

i. Ruth 2:15-16 – “And when she was risen up to glean, Boaz commanded his young men, saying, Let her glean even among the sheaves, and reproach her not: And let fall also some of the handfuls of purpose for her, and leave them, that she may glean them, and rebuke her not.”

ii. Lk 10:36-37 – “Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves? And

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he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.”

iii. Jn 5:28-29 – “Marvel not at this: for the hour is coming, in the which all that are in the graves shall hear his voice, And shall come forth; they that have done good, unto the resurrection of life; and they that have done evil, unto the resurrection of damnation.”

iv. Rom 6:23 – “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

b. In the real world:i. We each have different gifts, beauty, quick minds or bodies.

Because of these different gifts, we will all be treated differently. Not all choose to believe, but those that do can use whatever gifts God has given them, to bring themselves, and all of humanity, the happiness desired.

ii. When we see cruelty for cruelty’s sake we are offended. However, when a killer is locked in a cell we understand why. We see events like these played out in nature everyday, as the devil leads people to do unthinkable things.

iii. We do not treat the bird and the fish the same, nor the salesman and the teacher, but each should be treated fairly. Each deserves the benefits and happiness earned. Respect, not jealousy, should rule, and when it doesn’t, we sense it.

8. Only one-third of all humanity will choose to be part of the eternal family..a. In the Bible:

i. Zech 13:8 – “And it shall come to pass, that in all the land, saith the Lord, two parts therein shall be cut off and die; but the third shall be left therein.”

ii. Matt 7:13 – “Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the


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gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:”

iii. Lk 20:36 – “Neither can they die any more: for they are equal unto the angels; and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection.”

iv. Rev 12:4 – “And his tail drew the third part of the stars of heaven, and did cast them to the earth: and the dragon stood before the woman which was ready to be delivered, for to devour her child as soon as it was born.”

v. Jn 5:40 – “And ye will not come to me, that ye might have life.”

b. In the real world:i. Too many people, easily more than half of humanity, do

not follow the principles of the Bible and do not love God.ii. There are groups of Christians, spread over all ethnic groups,

that live the principles in the Bible and those communities are a pleasure to interact with. Unfortunately, these groups are in the minority.

iii. Those that have chosen to not be a part of the eternal family have become more and more visible and vocal. They have reached a majority, so God and His commandments are slowly being removed from our public places.

9. Rules and laws help us find and stay on the path to God. This is why He gave us the Ten Commandments.a. In the Bible:

i. Deut 29:29 – “The secret things belong unto the Lord our God: but those things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children for ever, that we may do all the words of this law.”

ii. Prov 3:1-6 – “My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart

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keep my commandments: For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee. Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart: So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

iii. Rom 8:6-8 – “For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.”

iv. Rev 22:14 – “Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.”

b. In the real world:i. Everyday people are being sentenced to prison for breaking

laws, many of which are included in the Ten Commandments.ii. When someone violates one of the Ten Commandments, and

it negatively affects us, we are very unhappy.iii. People that follow all of the Ten Commandments are easy

to be around and the best possible friends.10. Jesus will return to collect His eternal family.

a. In the Bible:i. Dan 7:13-14 – “I saw in the night visions, and, behold, one

like the Son of man came with the clouds of heaven, and came to the Ancient of days, and they brought him near before him. And there was given him dominion, and glory, and a kingdom, that all people, nations, and languages,


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should serve him: his dominion is an everlasting dominion, which shall not pass away, and his kingdom that which shall not be destroyed.”

ii. Matt 24:30 – “And then shall appear the sign of the Son of man in heaven: and then shall all the tribes of the earth mourn, and they shall see the Son of man coming in the clouds of heaven with power and great glory.”

iii. Jn 14:2-3 – “In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.”

iv. Rev 1:7 – “Behold, he cometh with clouds; and every eye shall see him, and they also which pierced him: and all kindreds of the earth shall wail because of him. Even so, Amen.”

b. In the real world:i. The hope provided by the thought of the Second Coming of

Christ, allows us to live within His purpose for our lives. Without this hope, we would not be able to withstand the tribulations and temptations of this evil world.

ii. The events illustrated in the Bible regarding end times have almost all been fulfilled, so the end is relatively near.

iii. The positive works and sacrifices of people that believe in His return, testifies to the good produced by the belief itself.

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Chapter 4 – Principles

“L ive so that when your children think of fairness and integrity,

they think of you.”—H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life’s Little

Instruction Book (Rutledge Hill Press).

Fairness and integrity are examples of two wonderful Principles.

As we travel the road of life we will need to know which rules to

follow. Principles are our rules for life, the ones we have chosen.

How do we know which Principles we should choose? Remember,

the goal of this process is to remove conflict. There are certain

natural laws; gravity is an example of one that remains constant. It

would be foolish to live our lives ignoring it. It would create conflicts

that could cause us great physical harm. Our Principle List should

include all of the rules, we feel, we need to follow to live our lives in

alignment with our Belief List.

Is there a perfect list of Principles? Yes, but we are to develop

our own list and continually improve it, while keeping perfection as

our goal. Experience will teach us which Principles to add, delete or

modify. Why can’t we just take someone else’s list? We can and we

will, as our starting point in developing our own list. However, we

will still need to revise it based on our own experience. When our

inner blueprint, our written lists and our actions are in alignment, we

will have achieved our goal. We can always test one of our Principles

by asking ourselves if society would be able to prosper with the


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opposite Principle. For example, if honesty were one of our Principles,

would society be able to prosper with dishonesty as one of its core

Principles? If the answer is no, then our Principle is a sound one.

Why do we need to have rules? “Most successful football players

not only accept rules and limitations but, I believe, they need them.

Players are free to perform at their best only when they know what

the expectations are, where the limits stand. I see this as a Biblical

principle that also applies to life, a principle our society as a whole has

forgotten: you can’t enjoy true freedom without limits.”—Tom Landry:

An Autobiography, with Gregg Lewis (HarperCollins). Tom Landry’s

observation is correct. Our children clearly demonstrate this need.

They continually test the limits of their environment until they know

them and can feel the safety and comfort of those limits. If we are

consistent in defining these limits they learn them and feel safe! If we

keep giving them different answers to their questions about limits,

we confuse them and create conflicts in their lives. Sometimes these

childhood conflicts lead us down the wrong roads in life. As parents,

we need to be consistent. Our children’s futures might depend on it.

If people were free to shoot anyone at will, then no one would

feel safe on the streets. No one would be truly free. Knowing our

limits allows us to live our lives to those limits, a much fuller and

complete life then one in which we were always looking over our

shoulder in fear. We wouldn’t have to wonder whether we had done

something wrong. This is why children keep testing, they don’t want

to do anything wrong. They just need to know what is really wrong.

So, Principles serve a valid purpose. “This is the covenant that I will

make with them after those days, saith the Lord, I will put my laws into

their hearts, and in their minds will I write them;” - Hebrews 10:16, so

we can know which Principles to follow, if we will only think and

examine our hearts.

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Ben Franklin made the listing and mastering of Principles his

life long project. He called them virtues. Franklin understood that

reaching perfection was an arduous task but ignoring the labor leads

to habits (lured by inclination, custom or the company of others) that

are self-destructive.

Here is a sample of a quality Principle List, Benjamin Franklin

(1706-1790):

1. Temperance: I will eat not to dullness. I will drink not to

elevation.

2. Silence: I will speak not but what may benefit others or myself.

I will avoid trifling conversation.

3. Order: I will let all my things have their places. I will let each

part of my business have its time.

4. Resolution: I will resolve to perform what I ought. I will

perform without fail what I resolve.

5. Frugality: I will make no expense but to do good to others or

myself; i.e., waste nothing.

6. Industry: I will lose no time. I will be always employed in

something useful. I will cut off all unnecessary actions.

7. Sincerity: I will use no hurtful deceit. I will think innocently

and justly; and, if I speak, speak accordingly.

8. Justice: I will wrong none by doing injuries or omitting the

benefits that are my duty.

9. Moderation: I will avoid extremes. I will forbear resenting

injuries so much as I think they deserve.

10. Cleanliness: I will tolerate no uncleanness in body, clothes or

habitation.

11. Tranquility: I will be not disturbed at trifles or at accidents

common or unavoidable.

12. Chastity: I will rarely use venery but for health or


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offspring—never to dulness, weakness, or the injury of my own or

another’s peace or reputation.

13. Humility: I will imitate Jesus and Socrates.

It is important to understand that becoming the best we are

capable of becoming is the goal, not perfection. I believe that humans

are capable of perfection. Unfortunately the difficulty in achieving

it causes people to shun the idea, withdraw from even trying, and

eventually, to develop defense mechanisms that ultimately become

self-destructive.

So, though becoming the best we are capable of is the goal, we

must continue to strive beyond that goal to perfection. This is the

same concept that allows martial arts experts to break the board they

are hitting by focusing on a point past the board. It is perfection that

leads us to our goal and sometimes beyond it! Our Principles List

creates the signposts that we will use to help us make decisions when

we come to the forks in the road. The Principles we select will guide

the way we think, act and react to everything in our lives.

A lot of people ask me what is the difference between a Belief

and a Principle. Beliefs are “Why” and Principles are “How” we do

things. Principles are the rules we follow while taking some kind of

action. Beliefs are the reasons we follow our Principles. If one of my

Beliefs is “God wants us all to be treated fairly,” I could select the

Principle, “I will not steal.” This Principle would be supported by

my Belief, since stealing from someone would not be treating them

fairly. Without the Belief to support the rule, I would steal whenever

it was to my benefit. Before we say, “I wouldn’t steal”, we must ask

ourselves, “have I ever stretched the truth on my tax returns?”

On our list we may have selected reliability as one of our

Principles. If so, when we start thinking about doing something,

we will make sure it does not conflict with something else we have

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already committed to do. When we commit to doing something,

people can count on us to not only be there but to be on time. When

someone points out to us that we are late, we no longer get mad at

them for their impudent remark but rather thank them and apologize

for our tardiness. We would then resolve to make the adjustments

necessary to prevent repeating our tardiness.

Think about us walking on the path of life. Our Principles

List is like a shield that protects us from people and events that

would come along and push us off the path. The temptations that

would have otherwise diverted us from our course are too weak

to penetrate the shield. The farther along the path we travel, the

stronger our shield becomes. One day, our inner blueprint and our

daily behavior will be in complete alignment. That will be the day

we stop working on our Life Map because we are living it. That

day we will have become the person we have always wanted to be.

No longer will others be able to influence us. No longer will our

needs and wants battle for our attention. No longer will we worry

about pleasing someone else or fearing that we have broken some

rule or law. We are now living up to our own inner blueprint and

that is a higher standard than any we will face here on Earth. We

will be at peace with the rest of creation.

Responsibility.

We can’t delegate our responsibility for keeping our actions in

alignment with our Principles. We are responsible for our actions.

It is possible for others to help us in our efforts to improve. Sharing

our Principles List with caring friends and relatives puts them in a

position of giving us feedback. When they inform us that our actions

are in conflict with our ideal behavior, we then have the opportunity

to make the necessary corrections. Ultimately, we will decide our


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actions and thus define the person we are, however, the help we will

receive from caring friends and family will speed the process.

Principles can and should become habits. When a Principle is so

ingrained into our nature that we would not knowingly or willingly

violate it, it has become a habit. Habits are formed by repetitive

action.

We need to improve our thought process, which ultimately leads

to our behavior.

We sow our thoughts,

and we reap our actions.

We sow our actions,

and we reap our habits.

We sow our habits,

and we reap our character.

We sow our character,

and we reap our destiny.

- Anonymous, The Five Rituals of Wealth

Thoughts to Behavior.

Noticing when we successfully conform to our Principle List is

very important. It will lead to the repetitive successes that become

the habits that will define us. Benjamin Franklin rotated the 13

principles on his list every month. He also shared his list with a friend

who helped him add to it. Only Franklin can describe the addition,

“My list of virtues contained at first but twelve. But a Quaker friend

having kindly informed me that I was generally thought proud,

that my pride showed itself frequently in conversation, that I was

not content with being in the right when discussing any point, but

was over-bearing and rather insolent—of which he convinced me

by mentioning several instances—I determined endeavoring to cure

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myself if I could of this vice or folly among the rest, and I added

Humility to my list, giving an extensive meaning to the word. I

cannot boast of much success in acquiring the reality of this virtue,

but I had a good deal with regard to the appearance of it.” Each

month he recorded his actions involving that month’s principle. He

continued the process for over 50 years. He lived his principles!

Edgar A. Guest (1881-1959) wrote a poem expressing his

philosophy, his version of a Principle List and here are a few lines

from it:

My Creed

To play my little part, nor whine

That greater honors are not mine.

This, I believe, is all I need

For my philosophy and creed.

The rules Edgar A. Guest established for his life were simple,

honest and unassuming. They would be the cause for sound sleep and

a peace in passing from this Earth. It is a good example of someone

that developed rules for his life that expressed his inner blueprint. I

suggest you read the whole poem to get the full effect!

Ethics.

Some people are becoming more and more concerned with morals

and ethics. It is a natural response to the breakdown in our society.

Ken Cooper, Ph.D., wrote an article in the Journal of the American

Society of CLU & ChFC entitled, Rediscovering Ethics: Back to

Basics. Michael Joseph Josephson founded the Josephson Institute in

an effort to improve the ethical landscape of our American society.

Now that we are in the twenty-first century, the need to deal with


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these questions is intensifying. Many are recognizing that the basic

Principles our society lives by are in desperate need of correction.

Each of us must take responsibility for our own conduct. “The only

way you can truly control how you are seen is by being honest all

the time.”—Tom Hanks.

Honesty includes being honest with ourselves. “The lies we

tell ourselves are more pernicious than the lies we tell others; ‘I’m

nothing like my mother’…‘I’m too busy to exercise’…‘I don’t need

therapy’…‘I don’t want to get married.’” - Michael Levine, Lessons at

the Halfway Point.

These simple statements speak volumes. We can’t live by someone

else’s rules, we must develop our own Principle List and live by it.

Every time one person does this, there is one less person supporting

the problem. Yes, supporting the problem. Destructive behavior is

more acceptable if large numbers of people are involved. The smaller

the percentage of the population demonstrating bad behavior the

more conspicuous they become. So, we are either part of the solution

or we are part of the problem. Be part of the solution!

“All religions teach us to help people whenever we can. All

religions teach us to play fair and not to hit or kill or steal or cheat.

All religions teach us that we should be forgiving; and cut people

some slack when they mess up, because someday we will mess up

too. All religions teach us to love our families, to respect our parents

and to make new families when we grow up. Religions all over the

world teach the same right way to live.”—Rabbi Marc Gellman

and Msgr. Thomas Hartman, How Do You Spell God? (Morrow).

Every religion teaches Principles that could be added to our lists.

We shouldn’t overlook any source, but we need to remember to filter

these Principles through our own inner blueprint before we add them

to our list.

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A definition of a Principle: “A rule or a standard, especially of

good behavior.” If we believe that a Principle should be followed and

it is supported by our Beliefs, it should be added it to our Principle

List. For the sake of clarity, we will identify the Belief that best

supports each of the Principles on our list. We can consider our list

complete when we can point to one of our Principles as the guiding

force in every major decision we are making and can conceive of

making in the future. See the suggested reading list in the Appendix

to help with this activity.

It is helpful to begin each Principle with the words, I am/do.

Work to limit the number of Principles stated negatively. Consider

what we will do rather than what we will not do. Positive statements

are more powerful motivators. Rather than depriving ourselves, we

will be taking charge of our lives. There will be times we will feel

compelled to use the “not” word, the use of drugs might be one of

those times. Just keep them to a minimum.

“The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing

to do. The hard part is doing it.” -- Gen. H. Norman Schwarzkopf.

Having a written list helps us to remember what to do. How many

Principles should we have? We need as many Principles as it takes

to help us deal with every major decision in our lives. Remember,

each Principle, on our list should be supported by one of our Beliefs.


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A Beginning Principle List.

Principles

1. I will continue to work to develop the following virtues into habits (The Belief that supports each virtue) and a supporting verse:

a. I am honest (9) Eph 4:15 “But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:”b. I am loving (2) Matt 22:37-40 “Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”c. I am reliable (5) Acts 24:16 “And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void to offence toward God, and toward men.”d. I am loyal (5) Matt 25:21 “His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.”e. I am humble (1) Matt 20:28 “Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.”f. I am patient (4) Rev 3:10 “Because thou hast kept the word of my patience, I also will keep thee from the hour of temptation, which shall come upon all the world, to try them that dwell upon the earth.”g. I am helpful (5) Prov 27:17 “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.”h. I am cooperative (4) Rom 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love.”i. I am trustworthy (2) Ps 34:8 “O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.”

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j. I am respectful (2) Phil 2:3 “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”k. I am tranquil (2) 1 Jn 4:18 “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.”l. I am confident (1) Phil 1:6 “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:”m. I am supportive (5) Heb 10:24-25 “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”n. I am industrious (5) Prov 22:29 “Seest thou a man diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean men.”o. I am frugal (5) Is 55:2 “Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not? hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness.”p. I am alert (9) Matt 24:23-25 “Then if any man shall say unto you, Lo, here is Christ, or there; believe it not. For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect. Behold, I have told you before.”q. I am fit (4) 1 Cor 6:19 “What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?”r. I am studious (6) Jn 3:33 “He that hath received his testimony hath set to his seal that God is true.”


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s. I am generous (7) Lk 6:38 “Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.”t. I do respect order (4) Rom 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”u. I do facilitate harmony within my family (3) Matt 5:9 “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

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Chapter 5 – Goals

G oals are the destinations we have chosen to work towards.

They are the dreams we create that we believe are worthy of

our attention and effort. The Belief and Principle Lists we created

in the last two chapters are the foundation upon which we will build

our Goals. We should not have a Goal that creates conflict with

anything on either our Belief or Principle Lists. Some people say

they don’t have any Goals. What they mean is that they can’t see a

way of achieving their dreams. Turning a dream into a Goal requires

planning and a willingness to follow through on those plans. Anyone

can, not everyone will.

Some people don’t think they need to write down their Goals

because they already know what they want and they are surely

doing all that they can to make it happen. Some of these same people

will tell us that their families are more important than money.

Unfortunately, their actions may not support this statement. They

work long hours and sacrifice many family Activities to earn money.

They justify it by pointing to the material things they are providing

their families. They treat the people at work with respect then come

home and are impatient and irritable with the ones they love. All

the while their family is growing farther and farther apart. Years

later, they wonder why their families didn’t adequately appreciate all

that they had done. “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be


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also.” - Matthew 6:21, we cannot hide our priorities from those that

love us, they feel the loss.

People who focus on the past or their current problems create

more of the same. People who focus on their future begin to create

that future. The underlying theme behind Goal setting is gaining

control of our lives. Determining what we truly want, rather than

letting others limit us with their expectations. We can exceed any of

their expectations. Think for the moment that failure is impossible,

what would we want? What are our special gifts?

What are our limitations.

When people think about Goals, they usually come face to face with

their perceived limitations. Instead of thinking about our limitations,

the potential problems or the negative results that might occur, think

about the rewards of reaching each new Goal. The gains waiting for

those willing to reach their potential far outweigh the risks involved.

We can’t let the problems keep us from seeing the possibilities.

One woman saw the possibilities and worked to make her dreams

into her reality. That woman was the first woman to run for the

Presidency of the United States. Belva Ann Lockwood ran twice, in

1884 and 1888. She decided to do this even though women didn’t have

the right to vote. How is that for a Goal! She didn’t stop at that. She

earned a law degree and became one of the first women to practice

law. It didn’t end there. She forced an act of Congress to enable her

to practice before the U.S. Supreme Court. We need to ask ourselves

what Goals would inspire us, put a fire in our souls? We can’t be

afraid to acknowledge them! We need only think about Belva Ann

Lockwood, and start living our dreams! Doing nothing provides its

own share of risk.

How close have we come to achieving our potential? What Goals

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will test our perceived limits and bring our achievements closer to our

potential? Don’t be afraid of exploring new horizons. We can overcome

the temptation to maintain the status quo, seek the adventure and

happiness that awaits us along the path. While writing our goals down

will not guarantee success, if followed by the action steps that will be

developed in the next Chapter, it will put the odds overwhelmingly

in our favor. Remember what the Dominican University of California

study had to say about Goals. We will be in rare company.

“Far better is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs,

even though checkered by failure, than take rank with those poor

spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live

in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.”—Theodore

Roosevelt (1859-1919).

Of course, before we can dare mighty things, we have to decide

what mighty things we will dare. The noise and confusion we live

in may make this a difficult task. The glorious triumphs will be

worth the sacrifice. So, now is the time to find a quite place, away

from all distractions. We all think we are too busy to take a break.

It is a common feeling. The reality is that we are too busy not to

take a break. Some of those things that are keeping us busy are not

necessary. Only by taking the time to determine our real priorities

will we be able to eliminate the unnecessary ones. We might find that

we are creating some of the noise in an effort to prevent ourselves

from feeling the pain associated with discovering how much we

disliked those unnecessary activities. Whatever time it takes, the

results will be worth it, in the long run.

Goals need to be balanced

The act of deciding on our Goals is a very important step. Our

lives actually become the Goals we are actively pursuing. “Until


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thought is linked with purpose there is no intelligent accomplishment.

With most people, the bark of thought is allowed to drift upon the

ocean of life. We need to conceive of a legitimate purpose in our

heart, and set out to accomplish it.”—James Allen, As a Man Thinketh.

Proper Goal setting is a process in which our thoughts and our real

purpose meld to form a list of Goals. Others may witness our growth,

but we alone will live it. The life we have chosen begins when we

link our thoughts with our purpose. One obstacle in achieving the

life we want is balance. Visualize a chair with four legs. If one of the

legs is removed, what happens to the person sitting in the chair? This

very same concept applies to our lives. When one area of our lives is

neglected, we begin to sense the uneasy feeling of falling. Someone

so devoted to their work that they neglect their family, will one day

regret the imbalance that causes them to lose their family. To achieve

a balanced life, we need to have goals in the four basic areas of life:

* Spiritual, that part of us that understands the real

meaning of our lives and helps us connect with the rest

of creation and beyond;

* Physical, the care we give to the vessel we will use for our

journey on earth;

* Familial, the way we relate to and interact with our family

and friends;

* Societal, all of our interaction with the rest of creation,

including our careers.

Forsaking the Physical for any of the other areas would lead us to

ill health or death. We certainly can’t be at our best in the other areas

if this happens. Balance is the key to reaching our true potential as

a “whole” being, becoming fully human. The dictionary tells us that

whole means containing all parts, not disjointed. Reaching our full

potential requires all four of our parts.

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The four areas are listed in the order of priority. At the center of

our lives is our Spiritual development. If our spirit is weak we will

be unknowingly led to a life of destruction and misery, and unable

to work on any of our other areas.

Moving outward, if we are physically weaker than we could

be, we will be less able to work on the other areas. These first two

areas make it possible to work on the last two. However, no spiritual,

physical, career or community successes will compensate us for the

loss of our families. To be whole, we need to keep our lives complete,

and in balance.

“My object in living is to unite my avocation and my vocation

as my two eyes make one in sight. Only where love and need are

one…and work is play for mortal stakes is the deed ever really

done for heaven and the future’s sake.”—Robert Frost (1874-1963).

To accomplish this worthy Goal we need to start asking ourselves

simple questions for each of the four basic areas of our life: Spiritual,

Physical, Familial and Societial. “What is my ideal vision of the

person I want to become? How do I want to be remembered?”

Spiritual - Our vision might include any or many of the following:

developing our relationship with God, living in harmony with

nature, learning to understand ourselves, understanding nature,

understanding our subconscious, discovering cycles and how we fit

into them, or clarifying our concept of how it all began. This is not

a complete list; it is intended to spark our imagination.

Physical – Our vision might include: discovering the ideal exercise,

diet or weight, or developing lifestyle habits that promote longevity;

getting adequate sleep, eating breakfast daily, avoiding tobacco, or

moderating alcohol. What should we add to this list?


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Familial – Our vision might include: the kind of spouse, parent,

sibling, or child we could become. How would we act in each of these

relationships? What kinds of things would we enjoy doing in these

roles? How would we feel as a result of these changes? Are we living

within our budget or do we need to work on it?

Societal - We will spent more time in our vocation than in any other

activity, except sleeping. We need to make sure we don’t choose the

wrong career for the wrong reason. Too many people get up each day

and drag themselves to a job to make a living. We must ask ourselves,

“If I lived in a world without money what would I be doing?” Don’t

settle for an unfulfilling career in exchange for financial rewards.

We will be sentencing ourselves to years of frustration. By carefully

assessing our gifts, interests and Principles List, we will be able to

identify career opportunities that will bring us the most satisfaction.

We can make this choice our passion. Listen to Frost…“where your

love and need are one.” Finding our passion, something we would

love doing, is the first step in deciding on a career. Don’t settle for

someone else’s passion or idea of our limitations.

There is a little story, The Animal School, by Dr. R.H. Reeves, about

a school attended by different kinds of animals. The school decided

to test the animals in a number of different areas. One particular

duck, an excellent swimmer and flyer, turned out to be a very poor

runner, so, in their infinite wisdom, the school officials decided that

the duck could no longer swim or fly until he improved his running.

Soon, he became an average runner, but, for some unexplained reason

he became only an average swimmer and flier. We can’t let anyone

influence us into giving up the things at which we excel! “Be ye not as

the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding: whose mouth must

be held in with bit and bridle, lest they come near unto thee.” - Psalms 32:9.

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Do we need additional education? If the answer is yes, then make that

a goal! We must always allow our creativity to work for us. There is

life after vocation, even a fulfilling one.

We must remember to include our friends, “When you stop

spending time with real friends, you lose your balance.”—Michael

Levine, Lessons at the Halfway Point. The rest of our vision might

include: travel, our involvement with politics, civic organizations,

charities, etc.

Back to our dreams.

A friend of mine, Hal Urban, a teacher and the author of 20

Things I Want My Kids to Know (Thomas Nelson Publishers), has

his psychology class make a list of 100 things they would like to do

before they die. It is a very interesting exercise. It can tell us a lot

about our priorities. We should take the time to try this exercise

ourselves. When we complete the list, we should identify our top 10

and work them into our future goals list.

What dreams have we had about our lives? We should make

sure that our dreams are on the lists we are creating. Take those

dreams we are transforming into Goals and write a paragraph,

answering the following questions, for each Goal. This paragraph

should include our reasons for choosing every Goal and why the

Goal is important to us. We should see ourselves already achieving

the Goal. How does it make us feel? Write it down! The vision this

creates becomes so vivid that it brings our Goal to life. It gives us

the needed incentive when the going gets rough and we contemplate

giving up. We also need to consider the cost we are willing to pay

to reach the Goal. Do the research necessary to fully determine

what will be required of us to accomplish this Goal, and include this

information in paragraph. This will allow us to face the cost and


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change our minds before we have wasted too much time or money

in the pursuit of that Goal.

Read these paragraphs as often as possible, and certainly

whenever we are frustrated or thinking of giving up on the Goal.

This Activity will bring back the feelings and thought process that

we used in creating the Goal. This will help us decide whether we

need to modify the Goal. This is just the beginning of building

the vision of the person we want to become. This is how we will

proactively manage our lives…now and into the future. We will

modify this vision many times over the years. Experience will make

us wiser and our vision will come ever nearer to alignment with

our inner blueprint. The nearer we come, the clearer we will see the

overall picture.

As our view of the overall picture becomes clearer, we will find

ourselves at peace with our world. The better we feel, the more

creative we will become. We need to make sure we allow our creative

side to mature. Give it all the resources necessary to develop. Pure

joy will follow and so will the day we truly begin to live our purpose.

Commit it to writing.

Everyone has heard the old saying, “every journey begins with

the first step.” It is one thing to understand a concept…it is quite

another to take action. It is much easier to strike out on a new trail

when we have a guide to lead the way. Developing our Goals begins

when we commit them to writing. This is the next step in completing

our Life Map, our guide to our future! So, get out a piece of paper

and start writing them down. Goals need to be specific; our mind

cannot deal with generalities. We want a blue 2014 Ford Mustang

convertible. We need to have a timeline associated with each Goal;

this is one of the steps in turning a wish into a Goal. We want that

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Mustang by June 1, 2014. We also need a plan to accomplish this

goal and we will develop one in the next chapter.

Be ready for surprises.

Sometimes our Goals surprise us. We labor to produce one fruit

and end up enjoying a very unexpected and quite different one. I

read a story in Family Circle about a woman that planted a rose

garden. One year she discovered that something very large was

eating her roses. She got up early one morning to find a magnificent

deer, just ten feet from her window, dining on her Queen Elizabeth

rosebush. Now, each year she is faced with the decision of fencing

her yard and having a rose garden or spending time watching this

magical creature. Her goal was a rose garden. Her surprise was the

silence and peacefulness of watching the deer. We should look for

the mysteries in life and not be so focused on the Goal that we miss

the surprise!

It is time for action, now we can begin writing down our initial

Goals List.

Time to prioritize.

Now that we have some Goals identified in each area, we need

to prioritize them. The single most common error in developing a

Goals List is over-scheduling. People get caught up in trying to do

it all. The result is a schedule that is so full we are stressed most of

the time and much less efficient. It is better to start with a few Goals

and move on to the next Goal on the priority list, when we complete

one, or find that we have enough extra time in the schedule to add

another activity. It is advisable to begin with only one or two Goals

in each area. Remember, for dreams and wishes to graduate to Goals

they must have completion dates. Yes, that ugly word, deadlines.


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Deadlines provide the information needed to develop a timeline.

This makes our progress measurable and allows us to make the

adjustments necessary for the accomplishment of the Goal.

What is enough? When we begin to establish Goals in different

areas of our lives, we should think about limits that truly express our

idea of what is enough. How much land is enough? How big a house

is enough? Do we need to own a vacation home or is renting enough?

What will bring us the peace and joy that God has promised? “Peace

I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I

unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” - John

14:27, His peace.

During my 38 years in the insurance business, I have learned

many things from my policyholders. Life in our modern society has

developed into a fairly routine cycle. When we are young, under

30, we think we are going to live forever. We spend all that we

earn and then some, and we think we will have more than enough

time to plan for retirement, later. Between 30 and 50 we begin the

accumulation stage. We buy houses, fancy cars, art, fine furniture and

designer clothes. Then, between 50 and 65 the children are grown

and move out of the house, and we start wondering what we are

going to do with all this stuff. And so, sometime in our 60’s or 70’s

we begin to give it away. If we could start these cycles with a better

understanding of what is really important to us, we would come to

the later stages better prepared. Our preparation would allow us to

understand that what we have is not as important as whom we have

become. The decisions we would make along life’s journey would be

more in alignment with our blueprint, the one that God has given us.

As we move along our life path remember the warning of H.

Jackson Browne, “Don’t let your possessions possess you.” Things

are just that, things. They can be replaced, but people, relationships,

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our integrity, our character, our health and the many yesterdays we

have watched pass away…these can’t be replaced. We must keep our

priorities straight.

Listen to what Ralph Fiennes, a two-time Oscar nominee, has to

say about keeping our priorities straight and success, “What’s really

scary about being in demand is that, when the world decides you’re a

desirable commodity, you haven’t really changed inside. The material

rewards are very, very tempting. People think that, to be successful,

you’ve got to take the car, the house, the big fee. They haven’t thought

about happiness. But recent events in my life have made me ask the

question, ‘What is the cost?’”

Fiennes explains why his childhood helped him. “It was a very

hand-to-mouth existence, there was very little money. My parents

were broke. But we did have an environment at home whereby there

was always encouragement to do whatever we wanted to do. The

strength of my Catholic ethic underpinning everything, the fabric of

the family life, was so strong.”

When asked about his success, “Success? Well, I don’t know

quite what you mean by success. Material success? Worldly success?

Personal, emotional success? The people I consider successful are

so because of how they handle their responsibilities to other people,

how they approach the future, people who have a full sense of the

value of their life and what they want to do with it. I call people

‘successful’ not because they have money or their business is doing

well but because, as human beings, they have a fully developed sense

of being alive and engaged in a lifetime task of collaboration with

other human beings—their mothers and fathers, their family, their

friends, their loved ones, the friends who are dying, the friends who

are being born.

“Success? Don’t you know it is all about being able to extend


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love to people? Really. Not in a big, capital-letter sense but in the

everyday. Little by little, task by task, gesture by gesture, word by

word.” Dotson Rader interviewed Mr. Fiennes and wrote an article

in Parade Magazine, “Success? What about Happiness?” Mr. Rader

did a fine job of bringing out Mr. Fiennes Life Mapping concepts. We

should all have our priorities as straight as Ralph Fiennes!

The real gift in giving.

When we are rushing on to our next Goal, excited at the successful

completion of another goal, we need to remember to appreciate the

people that have helped us along the way. Look for ways to give back

to our community, our family, and our friends. This is the best way to

insure the opportunity for a happy life for our progeny. The ultimate

result of giving is the unexpected gift we receive, the understanding

that we have everything we really want and need. “Give, and it shall

be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and

running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure

that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.” - Luke 6:38, we

cannot out give God. This feeling of abundance will provide us a

new freedom as we share our money and our knowledge with those

who eagerly await our gifts. This act empowers those we have chosen

to share ourselves with to become greater than they had imagined

possible. This happens because we have shown them that someone

truly cares, they are important.

Now, sit down and start writing. Write as many different Goals

as possible. After we have written them down, we can prioritize

them and select only the top one or two in each of life’s four areas

to begin working on now. Maintain an active list of goals for future

action and continue to prioritize them. We will use them in the future

when our schedule permits. Use the paragraphs we have written to

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help us visualize ourselves completing those top one or two goals, in

each category. This visualization is very important. Our mind will

be more focused if it can see us successfully achieving our Goal. We

should keep updating our Goals List. This is just the beginning…we

will improve this list many times during our lives.

A short review.

This is a good time to review the differences between Beliefs,

Principles and Goals.

Our Beliefs List represents the universal truths, as we know

them. Our behavior is the living example of our Principles List.

Goals are things we are attempting to achieve, learn or acquire.

So, when we look at a Familial Goal list we might find “facilitate

harmony.” A Principle, “I will be cooperative,” is supported by the

Belief, ‘”God wants us to be treated fairly.” This Goal is not something

we are trying to acquire, it is a state of contentment we are trying to

help our family reach.

One final example:

Belief…I believe one should follow the laws of the community

they choose to live in.

Principle…I will obey all of the laws when I drive.

Goal…I will drive my car from San Jose to San Francisco today,

without speeding.

As subtle as these differences sometimes are, it is very important

to understand them as we begin to build our lists.

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Chapter 6 – Activities

W hat is our purpose? What are we supposed to contribute

to this world? “And we know that all things work together for

good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his

purpose.” - Romans 8:28, how will we ever know if we don’t try to

fulfill our destiny? What we do everyday, our Activities, define us,

and our contribution to this world. Some people mistake Activity for

achievement. They are so busy doing things they don’t have time to

evaluate the results of all that Activity. It is not just any Activity that

leads us to our goals; it is a particular set of Activities.

Activities without Goals are unproductive drudgery; Goals

without Activities are dreams; when Activities and Goals are

combined everything is possible! Our Beliefs List tells why we are

alive, our Goals List tells us what we are to do in this life, and our

Principles List and Activities List tell us how we will get it done.

Nothing is accomplished until something is done.

The puzzles.

Goals are like puzzles; Activities are like the pieces we use to

complete the puzzle, one piece at a time. We take our highest priority

Goal and break it into a list of Activities that are necessary for the

completion of that Goal. We keep breaking the Activities into smaller

and smaller pieces, until each individual Activity can be completed

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within a week, or preferably a day. Then we take this list of Activities

and put them in chronological order. We follow this procedure for all

of the Goals selected. If we select the correct Activities, we will have

completed our puzzle, created our masterpiece, our contribution to

this world. “The future is not the result of choices among alternate

paths offered in the present—it is a place that is created—created

first in the mind and will; created next in the activity.”—Walt Disney

(1901-1966). Listen to the master of imagination. Walt Disney created

what others laughed at as impossible.

Andy Granatelli once said, “When you are making a success of

something, it’s not work. It’s a way of life. You enjoy yourself because

you are making your contribution to the world.” Our contribution!

Love.

“Three things are necessary for the salvation of man: to know

what he ought to believe, to know what he ought to desire, and to

know what he ought to do.”—Life Mapping as described by Saint

Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274). Over 700 years ago Saint Thomas

Aquinas helped people understand that believing, a Belief List, and

having Goals, a Goal List, were only the beginning. We have to

do something! We have to actively use our Principle List and our

Activity List to assist us in achieving our Goals.

Love is the reason this process works. Everything we have done

to this point is inspired by our love for the person we want to become.

Love creates an attitude that prepares us for the rest of our journey.

“Love inspires a different kind of behavior than either duty or fear.

If I love my work, I don’t do it for anyone else. I do it because I love

it; I want to do it. I revel in it and, chances are, I will have much

success and satisfaction in it. If I love my children instead of fearing

for them, I don’t restrict them with unrealistic requirements. I trust


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them. I teach them. And I let them go out into the great, wide world,

prepared and eager to live their own lives.”—Hyrum W. Smith. We

should love our lives and those we choose to share them with.

My memories of my grandmother are still vivid. She loved life

and shared it with everybody. She created many special adventures

for me. Her adventures usually began in the kitchen or the garden.

Initially, I didn’t have much interest in either of them; however,

she made them fun. She shared a piece of what she loved with me

and before I knew what had happened, I began to love being in

the kitchen. To this day, I still love being in the kitchen. As my

grandmother demonstrated, we are all teachers. What people will

learn from us is a function of who we are and our observable behavior.

It is a rather large responsibility. Few experiences in life equal the

joy of successfully mentoring another person. Both participants in

the mentoring process are enriched. Whether the person we are

mentoring is our own child or a complete stranger, the rewards will

be great. We must each take whatever time is required to make sure

everyone in our families understands the power of love and that

they are loved. Sharing this with someone outside our family is the

next step.

The habits we develop, as we attempt to show our love of others,

can be virtues or vices. When they are in alignment with our Beliefs

and support our individual development, they are virtues. There are

two components of Life Mapping, Principles and Activities; that can

become habits. Repeating Principles or Activities that support our

purpose will eventually make them habits and, of course, virtues.

If we have taken the time to think a situation through once, it only

makes sense to develop it into a habit. There is no sense doing the

same work twice. Forming habits frees our mind to work on more

creative things. Even more importantly, when they become habits

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we perform them more successfully. We should work to acquire each

habit we desire.

This is the Principle at work in athletics. This is why they spend

so much time practicing. “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence,

then, is not an act, but a habit.”—Aristotle (384-322 BC).


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HABIT

I am your constant companion.

I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden.

I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.

I am completely at your command.

Half the things you do you might just as well

turn over to me and I will be able to do them

quickly and correctly.

I am easily managed—

you must merely be firm with me.

Show me exactly how you want

something done and after a few lessons

I will do it automatically.

I am the servant of all great men;

and alas, of all failures, as well.

Those who are great, I have made great.

Those who are failures, I have made failures.

I am not a machine,

though I work with all the precision

of a machine plus the intelligence of a man.

You may run me for a profit or run me for ruin—

it makes no difference to me.

Take me, train me, be firm with me,

and I will place the world at your feet.

Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

Who am I? I am habit!

- Anonymous, from The Five Rituals of Wealth

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Parameters can influence results.

The achievement of Goals will require more than the identifying

of Activities necessary to accomplish them. We will also need to know

the parameters that define our ability to achieve the Goal. So, this

would include thinking about whether we need a special environment,

lighting, music, food, etc.; the number of hours per week we will need

to be successful; who’s help we will need; the money required to make

the endeavor successful. Defining the parameters provides the limits

necessary for deciding on the Activities required to accomplish our

Goals. This is the first step in determining Activities.

We can free ourselves from past mistakes.

When our behavior or Activities are in conflict with our purpose,

the correct response is to acknowledge it, devise a plan to minimize

the possibility of repeating it and then forget about it. Don’t spend

another minute thinking about it. It is history. Listen to Ralph Waldo

Emerson (1914-1994), “Finish every day and be done with it. You have

done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept

in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it

well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with

your old nonsense. This day is all that is good and fair. It is too dear,

with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on the yesterdays.”

Jesus dealt with this same Principle in Luke 9:62, “And Jesus said

unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is

fit for the kingdom of God.” The Principle is simple, if we are looking

at the past, we cannot find the perfect future!

Enjoy the journey.

The Activities List we create for our Goals will change as we

face the choices that life will bring. Don’t get stuck on the Activities,


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keep the Goal in mind. When we plan and review each week, we will

have the opportunity to change our Activities as needed to reach our

Goals. Remember, we are doing these Activities out of love, not fear

or duty! Learn to enjoy the Activities required to reach our Goal. If

we don’t enjoy the Activity, search for an alternate one that we do

enjoy that will lead to the achievement of the Goal.

These Activities are the roads that lead us to our destination, and

there is always a scenic road somewhere. “Thou wilt shew me the path

of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures

for evermore.” - Psalms 16:11, we can ask God to show us that scenic

road. Think of the beautiful, enjoyable alternate choice as taking the

more scenic road to Grandma’s house. We still get there, maybe a few

minutes later, but we enjoyed the trip. Goals are like long journeys

completed one-step or Activity at a time.

When my son was young one of his heroes was He-Man. He

is a fictional character in the Master’s of the Universe cartoon.

Hollywood decided to make a movie to capitalize on the popularity

of the cartoon. Of course, my son and I went to see the movie. We

enjoyed the movie. Near the end someone is celebrating the moment

of victory over the evil Skelator when He-Man responds, “Live the

journey, for the destination is but the doorway to the next journey!”

Suddenly, I realized that he had summarized life. We are here

to reach destinations, fulfill our purpose, but we are supposed to

enjoy doing it. Begin to look at things as if we had never seen them

before or that we might never see them again. We must cultivate

our senses. Learn to appreciate the subtle nuances. Do we smell the

fresh bread baking? Savor the moments. Did we hear the children

laughing in the park? Instead of hurrying through lunch, make it an

experience. Eat with a friend or try a new restaurant or discover a

special spot in our homes. Make the selection of the food interesting;

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try new combinations of tastes. Think about the wonderful tastes

and the magic of seed, soil, sun and water that made it all possible.

Soon it will become an event we look forward to. Take the time to

plan and make it more than just eating. Read a little poetry or a fun

book. Smell the flowers along the way, feel the sunshine on our faces,

watch the squirrel race up the tree, listen to the leaves crunch under

our feet.

Those that contemplate the beauty this world holds for us, will

find a sense of peace and strength that will endure a lifetime. Drink

in the wonder that surrounds. Don’t let the vision of the Goal spoil

the joy to be found in the Activities.

Enjoying the Activities might sound strange to someone who

is doing something they don’t like. Most importantly, we should

not be doing something we don’t like. Get rid of that job and find

a rewarding career, one that brings us joy! This is not a rehearsal;

this is our life. Make it fun. Find a career that is fun. What if we

have obligations that make leaving our job difficult? Plan for the

transition to a rewarding career. For some this might require several

years. The years will pass whether we plan or not. We might as well

do the planning and be in a position to make the transition when the

time is right. Of course, finding a career is part of the goal setting

process and, hopefully, we have resolved that issue in the last chapter.

Delegation.

Now, what do we do about those career Activities we don’t

like doing? We learn to delegate them to other people. We don’t

think they can do them as well as we can? Then, teach them, have

confidence in them and take every opportunity to encourage and

congratulate them. It isn’t a complicated process. We explain their

responsibilities, in enough detail to allow them to complete the


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Activity. Make sure they know we have confidence in their ability

to successfully complete the Activity and give them the authority to

successfully accomplish it.

There is nothing more frustrating than being given a task and

not the authority to accomplish it. For example, if we asked our

employee to reorganize a filing system without giving them the

authority to buy the needed supplies, every time they found they

were short something they would have to come to us for permission

to buy it. This shows that we don’t trust their judgment and weakens

their confidence for future decisions. However, if we gave them the

authority to buy whatever is needed, they will complete the task and

be ready for the next one.

If we are the employees, we have to have the courage to explain

this concept to the person giving the orders and request the authority

necessary to complete the task assigned. They will respect us for our

initiative and their opinion of us will be elevated. If they respond

negatively, we should probably look elsewhere for employment.

After a task is completed, we need to compliment the person we

have delegated the task to, on the work they completed successfully,

and explain any areas that could be improved next time. “Over the

years I have become convinced that every detail is important and

that success usually accompanies attention to little details. It is this,

in my judgment, that makes for the difference between champion

and near champion.”—John Wooden, the most successful college

basketball coach, ever!

To illustrate the impact that John Wooden has had on UCLA

basketball, listen to what a former player was quoted saying some

twenty years after Wooden’s retirement, “Repetition is what gives

you confidence, keep working and good things happen.”—Cameron

Dollar, San Francisco Chronicle.

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Pay attention to the details. Soon, those marvelous people we

have delegated to, will be doing those things better than we could.

Especially, since we don’t like doing them.

Fun and focus.

There are some Activities we can’t delegate. This is where that

wonderful imagination we were given comes into play. Play is the

optimum word. Remember, never lose sight of the Goal, however, if

we are certain that an Activity is part of reaching the Goal, we need

to develop ways to make the Activity fun. Turn the Activity into a

game, we could time the Activity, or add minor challenges into it. If

our Activity is calling customers to check on their satisfaction with

a service, we could see how many we can make laugh during the call.

Keep track. We could put a score sheet on our desk and a set record

for most laughing calls in an hour.

We should make our work area as pleasant a place to be as possible.

If we like flowers or family pictures, place them where they can add

pleasure to our day. Suddenly, the calling will become a game and we

will be having fun. The hour will pass much more quickly. Another key

point to Activities is that they require our focus. If we are to maximize

the results achieved in reaching our Goal, we must maximize the

results for each Activity. Once we are performing an Activity, forget

about the Goal, we will think about the Goal when we plan and review

each week, focus on the Activity. The more times we successfully

perform the Activity the easier it becomes to repeat that success.

Southwest Airlines ran a television ad featuring a dog, his bone

and the concept of focusing. The ad incites us to focus on their

message by repeatedly using the phrase find the bone. Each time

they insert a picture of the dog finding a bone. Of course, they are

hoping we are focusing on their airline’s benefits at the same time.


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Focusing and being able to successfully repeat an action is what

athletes call entering the zone. When we are in the zone we don’t

need to think about each step in the Activity, we just need to keep

focused. We can’t let anything distract us. The best way to get an

athlete out of their zone is disrupt their concentration. This is why

teams call time out just before a key field goal is to be kicked or a

key free throw is about to be shot. They want the person attempting

the Activity to have time to think about other things; maybe a doubt

will sneak in to disrupt their focus.

So, we can have fun and focus, since every Activity we are doing

is the most important one we have to do at that time, or we would

be doing something else! This is one of the major benefits of Life

Mapping, we always know what is the most important thing to do.

Lists are good

“When the adrenaline is running you forget things, so, you need

to have checklists!”—Admiral Bidcoff. The Admiral has identified a

very important organizational concept. Routines, habits, are formed

through repetitive action. Unfortunately, until Activities have become

habits, and sometimes even after they have become habits, we need

checklists to make sure we are accomplishing everything we set out

to. This is where we decide which of the Activities on our list are

repetitive. If we only have to do the Activity one time, don’t worry

about establishing a habit. However, if we will be doing it hundreds of

times over our lifetimes, we need to take the time to think it though.

Write down the steps involved. When we think we have optimized

the Activity, make it a habit! Do it by using our checklist every time

we do the Activity, until we can do it perfectly without looking at the

list. Keep the list; we might need a refresher next year.

Think of it as our form of baseball’s spring training. It is very

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interesting to think that professional baseball players, the best in

the world at their game, get together for two months to practice the

fundamentals before each season starts. We should do no less. After

all, isn’t becoming the person we want to become as important as a

baseball season?

What about failure

What Activities will be required to reach our Goals? Some of

them will be uncomfortable. We can’t stay in the same rut and still

expect to reach new Goals. Becoming uncomfortable is part of the

solution, so is failing. We have to fail to learn, we have to fail to have

the opportunity to succeed. Babe Ruth hit 714 home runs. He struck

out 1,330 times. Failing to succeed now has a new meaning; don’t be

afraid to fail, it is but another step on the road to success! “The glory

is not in never failing, but in rising every time you fail.”—Chinese

proverb. Every failure can make us stronger, as long as we don’t give

up. They make each success that much more rewarding. “He that

overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be

my son.” - Revelations 21:7.

Patience and faith.

A farmer doesn’t plant a crop on a Wednesday expecting to

harvest the next day. The farmer prepares the ground, plants the

crop, waters and fertilizes when necessary. All the while the farmer

has faith that months later there will be a crop to harvest. We are

preparing the ground by completing this map. The activities we do

over the next few months are the planting, watering and fertilizing.

They will produce results, if we have the faith of a farmer. Just as the

farmer wouldn’t forget to water the fields, even though they show

no sign of growth we shouldn’t forget to do those Activities we have


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determined necessary for the accomplishment of our Goals, even if

there are no visible signs of progress. One day we will find ourselves

harvesting the successes we have dreamed of our whole life.

Budgeting.

Money will not bring us happiness. However, mismanagement

of money will bring us pressures that can affect our happiness.

Therefore, we need to live within a budget. Our career will provide

an income. Careful planning will allow us to give to those less

fortunate, save for retirement and still pay our current bills. Without

a budget, no amount of income will be enough. We will continue to

find new ways to outspend our increased income. The budgeting

process begins with an accurate accounting of our take home income.

We should find a way to have our withholding come as close to our

final tax bill as possible. We should not have a large refund, nor owe

money on April 15th.

Ten percent of our net income should go into some kind of

retirement account and another ten percent should go to those less

fortunate. A third ten percent should go to reduce our outstanding

debt, credit cards or lines of credit. Nothing should be charged, until

all of our debt is paid off. Once all our debt is paid, charge only what

we can pay off completely each month out of the seventy percent

we will use to pay our monthly bills. Since our debt is paid, we can

now begin using that ten percent to build a reserve fund, savings

account or money market account; that equals six months of our

net income. When the reserve fund is built, this same ten percent

should begin building a long-term goal fund. A long-term goal fund

is what we use to pay for things like a new car, a down payment on

a home or to pay for our children’s college education. This leaves us

the remaining seventy percent to pay those monthly bills. Sure, there

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are emergencies, but buying a new suit or shoes are not emergencies.

Paying for repairs to our car, because our brakes went out, is an

emergency. Those real emergencies will come out of our long-term

goal fund. Now, take that seventy percent and decide how to spend it

each month. Remember, this is all there is to spend! There are sample

budgets in the Appendix.

The budgeting process is a wonderful way to introduce our

children to the fine art of money management. My wife, Gail, and

I began having weekly Family Council meetings when our children

were ages six and eight. The meetings covered a variety of topics;

happy things that happened the prior week, each of us gave an award

to someone in the family that did something special the past week,

a discussion regarding any new problems that came up during the

week that needed to be solved, a fun family activity for the day, and

of course, budgeting. They each had their own checking account at

the Bank of Gail and Bill.

When Gail took the kids to the grocery store and they wanted

her to buy them a toy or some candy, she simply asked them if they

had enough money in the bank and did they really want to spend

it now. If they said they did, they wrote out a check and they took

the item home. If they didn’t have enough money, they weren’t able

to make that purchase and they learned a valuable lesson, and Gail

was saved from the battle over the item. They were continually

making their own decisions and learning that they would have to

live with that decision. Each week at the meeting they received their

allowance. The first decision they had to make was how much they

wanted to save, for college and their first car.

Looking back on it, we should have included a donation to a

charity, but at the time we weren’t giving that much ourselves; a

regret that we have corrected. They learned some wonderful lessons;


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decision making, money management, conflict resolution, selecting

and organizing fun activities, running meetings, participating in

meetings, appreciating the wonderful things that happened each

week, and the special things other family members did for them.

This was the second most important habit we established in

the raising of our children. The most important was to provide a

consistent and united image. We never disagreed, in front of children,

on decisions involving them. Therefore, they always knew where they

stood and that they could not use one of us against the other. If one

of them asked me if they could do something, I would ask if they had

asked their mother. If they had, I would agree with her decision. If I

disagreed with her decision, Gail and I would talk about it privately.

We would not change that decision, but we came to an agreement

on a united answer the next time we faced a similar situation. If they

hadn’t asked Gail, I would give my opinion but couched it with, “go

see if it is ok with your mother.” I am proud to say our children, now

31 and 33, are a constant joy to both of us.

Hail the doer.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out

how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could

have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in

the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who

strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who

knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself

in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph

of high achievement; and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails

while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold

and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”—Theodore

Roosevelt (1858-1919). We must dare to do great things! Listen to

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Jesus tell us about the rewards our Father has for us, as He tells us

to “fear not.” “Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to

give you the kingdom.” - Luke 12:32. We will never regret the effort!

As we view our Activities List, we should think of the transitions

we will be making as part of a life long path of personal learning and

self-discovery. We can enjoy the Activities and the positive changes

they will make in our lives.

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Chapter 7 – To Do List

D eveloping a To Do List is not time management, in the

traditional sense. It is more akin to putting a puzzle together,

in chronological order. We have the pieces, our Activities, and we

begin to put them together to form a picture, the picture of our

ideal day, in the order that best supports our lifestyle. Most people’s

picture of their normal day is chaos. The fear of looking at that

chaotic picture has kept them from actually working on improving it.

They are missing one of the most powerful messages ever known. It

has been repeated numerous times over the past 2,500 years. When

our actions are in alignment with our inner blueprint we will find

an inner peace that cannot be attained any other way. “Thou wilt

keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth

in thee.” - Isaiah 26:3. We are no longer fighting ourselves. We no

longer need to fight with others. It is a beautiful picture that will

bring admiration from all that witness it.

Getting started

We begin by taking the Activities we have identified on our

Activities List and decide whether they are repetitive in nature. If

we will do them everyday, or every week, we add them to our To Do

List. If they are more sporadic, we will add them to our daily pended

Activities list, usually in Outlook or a similar program. We then

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determine the chronological order for those Activities on our To Do

List. This allows us to create a physical monthly checklist version

of our To Do List, which we will use each day to mark off Activities

completed that day. A sample of this monthly checklist version of

the To Do List can be found at the end of this chapter. Now each day

we use our To Do List and Outlook to determine what we need to

do each day.

We can think back to the last time we used a road map. We

selected that map because it helped us decide on a route that was

most pleasing to us. This route helped us reach our destination.

How restricting was that? We used a map - some would not want

to be so restricted. We decided on a route - what happened to

spontaneity? We reached our destination - but wasn’t it forced?

Can we see the parallels between this To Do List and that map?

Our To Do List is the itinerary we have created for our life. When

we complete a day with our To Do List, we will understand

the freedom it brings. The relief from the stress brought about

by others trying to influence our Activities. The satisfaction in

reaching the goals we have established and the happiness we

receive because we followed the route that brought us enjoyment

and pleasure while achieving our goals will be more than enough

reward for our efforts. The sense of accomplishment that comes

from crossing off each completed Activity will bring a surprising

amount of pleasure.

Freedom at last

This is a good time to discuss the use of the To Do List. It is not

a prison we are trapped in, it is our guide on life’s trail. It is a way

to integrate our plan into our lives. We are to use it to help us make

the best choices each day. We should not expect to ever have an ideal


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day. It is only a tool. Maybe this will help us feel less confined. Also,

remember that it is a living To Do List and we need to keep changing

it to fit our current needs.

Now, back to completing our To Do List. The next Activity to

put on our To Do List is something we probably don’t have on our

Activity list, a time for planning. We should identify the first, and/

or the last, 15 to 30 minutes each day for reviewing our last day and

planning the next. This is the time we see how good a job we did on

completing the Activities on our To Do List. Anything left undone

can be added to the next day’s To Do List. This is how we keep on

the path we have created for our lives. We are reminded, daily, that

we have planned and selected Activities that need to be done that

day. Without this Activity chaos will creep into our days. Time and

other people will separate us from our Goals and the Activities that

lead to the their achievement.

During our planning time, we should ask ourselves some

questions. Was our behavior in line with our Principle List? Did

we correctly prioritize our Activities and did we do the things

that really matter most? Could we have done anything any better?

Once a week we should invest 10 or 15 minutes to look at the

whole week. This gives us an overview of our progress on a

scale that is small enough to make the necessary adjustments

while they are still small adjustments. The time we take to plan

and ref lect on our week will increase our confidence, clarify our

Activities and reinforce our Goal List, reducing the likelihood

of becoming overwhelmed. We will discover important things

about ourselves and find our untapped potential. Time set aside

for planning will also allow us to unwind and restore our vital

resources. We need to keep ref lecting on balance and harmonize

our Activities.

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Time management has its place

We can’t ignore time management, if we plan on improving our

lives. There are some time management techniques that will provide

us with those extra hours we need to accomplish our goals. First, we

must understand that everyone has the same 168 hours each week to

accomplish the Goals we have selected. If we use them lying in bed

we won’t have any time left to work on our Goals. Each minute of our

day will be filled by an Activity. We will choose those Activities. If we

misuse this freedom we will waste our lives. If we are to start our career

Activities at 9:00 am and we are still in bed, how can we be successful?

How would we feel if you went to our dental appointment at 9:00

am and they told us that the dentist was still in bed? What would

we do if they asked us to take a seat in the waiting room and that we

would be the third patient he saw when he arrived? What would we

think of that dentist? How well did he prioritize his Activities? Time

management is nothing more than getting our priorities straight and

doing the supporting Activities in a timely manner.

So, let’s go over the key elements of time management. By the

way, we are way ahead of most people, since we have identified our

priority Activities. Most people are still trying to not think about

their chaotic lives. Practicing time saving techniques will free up the

time we need to not only complete our current To Do List, but to

allow us to add additional Goals from our Goals List.

• We cannot waste time trying to change things we have no

control over. Accept them, adapt to them and move on.

• We must keep in touch with reality. Wasting time in Activities

that disconnect us from reality; daydreaming, drugs, TV, etc.;

steals our opportunities for success. An occasional recreation

is good for us, but chronic use or abuse is self-defeating.

• We should repeat Activities that increase our self-esteem and


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avoid those that reduce it. How do we feel about ourselves

after we do an Activity? If we feel good about ourselves, it

increased our self-esteem. We are not looking for the amount

of fun associated with an Activity. What we are looking

for here is whether the Activity is a positive factor in the

development of our self-esteem. We are in control, we should

not blame others or circumstances for Activities that lower

our self-esteem. We must change them!

• We should use our Life Map, our guide, daily. The farther we get

from our guide the greater the possibility our environment or

other people will get us off track. Ultimately, we could get lost.

• Maintain the planning habit. Every minute we invest in planning

will return from 3 to 30 minutes back in future time saved.

Planning builds upon itself and we will keep getting better and

better, thus increasing the time returned for the time invested.

• We need to learn to manage those things that present

themselves as urgent. Most urgent Activities, and they will

pop up everyday, should not immediately replace the planned

priority Activity currently scheduled. We need to learn to

minimize those interruptions. Have our calls screened at

work, or let them go to voicemail, and return them during

a time reserved for that Activity. Learn to leave complete

messages and ask that others do the same. This will minimize

telephone tag. Use e-mail whenever possible.

• Use a single calendar system. Avoid duplicating entries. The

physical tool we will need to maintain our schedule should

be small enough for us to carry wherever we go. It should

include an area for each day of the year, as well as sections

for our phone list and any other lists we feel we need. Most

smart phones and tablets can handle all of these components.

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• We must organize our work areas. Everything we use

regularly should be within our reach, without leaving our

chair.

• The next Activity we should add to our Life Map is one of the

most dynamic concepts in time management. We should find

a place in our schedules for organizational time. Two hours

a week will be more than adequate for most people. What do

we do during this time? We develop short cuts that will save

us time for the rest of our lives. Like what? Like creating and

maintaining a current contact list and having it with us at

all times. That sounds simple enough, but how is this going

to save us time? This Activity might take two hours initially

and an additional hour annually. This one Activity will save

us approximately 10 hours annually, because we will not be

looking around for ways to contact people. This means we

have just acquired an additional seven hours the first year

and nine hours every year thereafter. We should keep an

ongoing list of Activities that are repetitive, like using an app

on our smart phones to record our expenses. At the end of the

year, this app will total our expenses in categories and even

allow us to download the information into a tax program

that will do our taxes for us. A big time saver! During our

organizational time, each week, we can look at the list and

decide which Activity would produce the biggest savings in

time, energy and/or a reduction in frustration. That is the

one we need to work on next.

• One of those other lists we should consider is a “Spare Time

To Do List,” as a note on our smart phones. This list is for

all of the things we need to do that are not time sensitive.

Like picking up the clothes from the cleaners or a spare bottle


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of contact solution. Then when we find ourselves near the

cleaners or with time to spare we can pull out our list and

accomplish something. Of course, it is always a good idea to

have a good book around for those very same moments.

• Take 100% responsibility in all communications. In

conversations, repeat important information using different

wording or ask the other person to do that, so that we may

make sure that we properly communicated that information.

This is a big time saver as it reduces duplicate activities and

the possibility of the severe consequences that sometimes

follows miscommunications.

Occasionally we need a break

One important point to remember, whenever we are feeling

overwhelmed or over-scheduled, we MUST take a break and look

at our To Do List. If we need to adjust the To Do List, do it. If,

however, it is a temporary event that has caused the discomfort,

do not change the To Do List just make an adjustment that day

or week. Some people let this event cause them to give up on

planning and scheduling. This is a big mistake. Just think about

the beautiful picture we have created and don’t let anyone or

anything destroy it.

Another Activity we should include in our planning time is a

review of our Goals. Read the list, close our eyes and think about the

Goals. Do not think about the Activities. These mini-reviews will

lead to future changes in our Goals and Activity Lists. Whenever

we find some free time during the day, we can take that opportunity

to enjoy a mini-review. The more we do this Activity the sooner we

will reach our Goals. The mind is always working on solutions, even

when we are enjoying a break.

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Now we are ready to add the Activities from our Activities List

to our To Do List. Think of the puzzle example, where would each

of these Activities best fit chronologically into our ideal day or

week. Take the time and think about potential conflicts we might

be creating. We need to take our biological clock into consideration.

Schedule our most important or strenuous work during the time of

the day that we are most alert. Our To Do Lists need to be compatible

with our spouse and children’s ideal schedules. Make sure to leave

enough time between Activities, as well as enough time for the

Activity itself. Remember, the goal of creating our To Do List, is to

have the Activities listed in the order we are most likely to complete

them in a day. There is no need to hurry through this part of our

Life Mapping process, as our To Do Lists will continually change

for the rest of our lives. We must be flexible enough to recognize

the need to change and be proactive enough to actually change. We

should step back and look at the whole picture regularly. We should

ask ourselves, “Am I really happy with my To Do List?”

Once we set our feet upon this path we will continually improve

the life we are developing. It is much easier to strike out on a new

trail when we have a guide to follow. Outside influences will no

longer negatively affect our daily behavior. This is the definition

of character. “Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character

to keep you there.”—John Wooden (1910-2010). There are many

athletes, entertainers, entrepreneurs, etc., that could have benefited

from this advice. Continue to build that character and we will reap

the rewards our growing self-esteem will provide! “When wealth

is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when

character is lost, all is lost.”—German Motto

Now, we are ready to begin putting the pieces of the puzzle

together. This is our first To Do List, it doesn’t have to be perfect!


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Sample To Do List, a monthly checklist version.

116

Sample To Do List, a monthly checklist version.

October 2013

To

Do

Lis

t

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

Day of Week Tu

WTh

F Sa Su M Tu

W Th F Sa Su M

Weigh In P3a

In M

enlo

Coffee P1b

Plan day - write today's "To Do" list

F1a

Pray Sp2b

Study Bible Verses S2a

Work on Life Mapping

S3b

Watch "It Is Written"

Sp2d VIBE P1c

Stretch & Jumping Jacks

P2b

Walk P2a

Breakfast P3b

Golf Or Practice Golf

S4a

Bands Resistance Workout

P2c Lunch P3b

SF Work S1a

Dinner P3c

Review Day F1a

Fun F2a

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Chapter 8 – How To

S o, how will we ever find the time to start this process? No

problem! We can attack the problem a number of different ways.

We could pretend we are off to boot camp, preparing for the war of

a lifetime, and we could give up all Activities that are not mandatory

for the next few weeks. Of course, we should go to work, unless we

have some unused vacation time. Examples of things we can give

up: TV; reading the newspaper or magazines; answering the phone,

turn on our answer machines to cut down on interruptions; tell our

friends we can’t socialize for a few weeks, boot camp ahead; cut the

cleaning to a minimum; eat less complicated meals; put as many of

our bills on automatic payment as possible; take some time off from

civic or volunteer commitments. We can also get up a little earlier

or stay up a little later.

Using the time productively is important. Find a quiet space

where we are not likely to be interrupted. Remember, this is just for

a few weeks. It will be well worth the effort and our family, friends,

and that civic organization will appreciate the positive changes it

will have in our lives. One of the goals of this boot camp experience

should be to look for ways to accomplish our goals while keeping

our lives as simple as possible. Simple means we would not schedule

unnecessary activities and would look for less complicated solutions

for those necessary activities.


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Downshifting

I read an article, in a Kiwanis magazine, by Samuel Greengard,

The Upshot of ‘Downshifting.’ Mr Greengard describes a trend

that began in the 1990’s called, ‘downshifting,’ which the Trends

Research Institute in Rhinebeck, New York, called one of the

hottest movements of the 90’s. A November 1995 US News and

World Report magazine is quoted as estimating that some 4 percent

of all baby boomers have already taken to ‘downshifting’—a

figure that could rise to 15 percent by the year 2000. So, what

is ‘downshifting?’ It is the dumping of that high paying, overly

stressful job for a simpler, more balanced and fulfilling life. Sound

familiar? Mr. Greengard warns, “Psychological issues also can

take a toll. Those who ‘downshift’ must suddenly figure out how

to structure their day, find their own sense of accomplishment and

reward, and use entirely different factors to gauge success.” Relax

Mr. Greengard, all ‘downshifters’ need is a little time to create

their Life Map.

Former CEO-turned-professor William Wilson says, “Instead

of investing all of my time and energy to watch a business grow. I

now invest in students—and I can often see the direct payoff from

all my efforts.” Mr. Wilson is earning one-sixth the income he gave

up in the corporate world, but he and his wife are enjoying their new

simpler lifestyle. They gave up a 3,500 square foot home in California

for a 1,400 square foot condo in a Chicago suburb and a less stressful

schedule. Some would benefit from a similar move.

Personal Coaches

We have all heard of personal trainers. Now, there are personal

coaches. They help people keep their lives in shape by coaching them

either in person or over the telephone on a regular basis. If we have

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difficulty developing our Life Map or maintaining our schedule, we

could consider hiring a personal coach to assist us.

We need to make sure the person we hire is certified and has

Life Mapping experience. This form of support can be very important

during the habit-forming portion of the process. Once our habits

are formed, our need for assistance will be diminished. If we use a

personal coach to create our original Life Map, we should consider

using the same coach for our first couple of revisions.

The Process

Now, let us make one last review of the process.

* We will begin by determining our Belief List. This list will grow

out of our concept of creation and humanity’s purpose.

* Secondly, we will develop our Principles List, making sure that

every Principle on the list is supported by one of our Beliefs.

Without this support, we will be unable to live our Principles

when they are truly tested.

* Thirdly, we will decide on our Goals in each of the four areas of

life. We will keep the balance in our lives and the balance will

allow us to achieve our maximum potential.

* The fourth step is the dividing of our Goals into the Activities

necessary to achieve those Goals. We continue to break them

into smaller and smaller pieces, until we can complete each of

the pieces in a week, or preferably a day.

* The fifth and final step is to design a To Do List that includes all

of the Activities on our Activities List. We will update it often,

looking at it as many times a day as it takes for us to live it.

Goals should be reexamined monthly for the first three to six

months. Sometime during those first six months we will switch to

quarterly or annual reviews depending on the number of changes that


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were needed in the prior period. This process is not about changing

who we are every month, quarter or year. It is about adding depth to

the person we are becoming. Like a painter that adds layers of paint

over their original sketch, until one day they can step back and look

at the masterpiece they have created. Remember, this is a growing

experience and our Life Map is the living document that makes it

possible. Keep improving it. As we update our Life Maps we should keep

our old copies. They will become a permanent record of our progress.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q. Why do we have to have a Belief supporting each of our Principles?

A. Beliefs are the reasons we do things, the “Why”. Principles are

part of the “How” we do things. In the absence of “Why”, we

will only do what pleases or benefits us. The “How” becomes

unimportant without the “Why”. Moses believed in the Ten

Commandments because God gave them to him. God was the

“Why” and the Ten Commandments were the “How”. If we want

to follow our Principles, our “How”, we must support it with one

of our Beliefs, our “Why”.

Q. Should we use the same To Do List every day?

A. We will probably never have a day that we complete all of the

Activities on our To Do List. We should continue to use it as a

guide until we need to change the Activities currently on our To

Do List or the order of the Activities. Few people will use the

same To Do List for more than a few months. As we evolve, our

Goals will change and so will the Activities required for us to

reach them. We must keep our To Do List current. Remember,

this is a tool to help us complete the Activities that are required

to reach our Goals. Our To Do List will increase the odds of our

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reaching our Goals and speed the process. We are the masters,

not the To Do Lists. Update it often!

Q. What do we do about Activities that we were unable to complete?

A. Each day, during our planning time, we should identify unfinished

Activities and, if possible, complete them within the next few

days. Sometimes that is not possible. If the Activity was date or

time sensitive, a concert, we missed it, forget about it. Plan to go

to the next one.

Q. How detailed should I make my Activities list for a particular Goal?

A. We should continue to break the Goal down into smaller and

smaller Goals, individual Activities, until each of the Activities can

be completed within a week, or preferably a day. Our test question

should be, “Can I complete this Activity this week?” If the answer

is no, we need to continue to break it into smaller Activities.

Q. How do I know what I really believe?

A. Our true Belief system will evolve from our concept of how it

all began and our purpose. We cannot short cut this process. If

we do, we will end up with a Belief system in name only and it

will not be able to support our Principles List. We need to take

the time to necessary to decide what we truly believe about how

it all began. Then, we need to use a logical thought process

to determine our purpose for being here. When Henry Ford

developed the assembly line for the gasoline-powered automobile

in 1893, he created it. His purpose was to offer an alternative to

the horse that would one day be accessible to the average person.

The purpose of the automobile was to transport people and

make long distance travel possible for the masses. How were we


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created? Why? What is our purpose for being here? Our Belief

system is the natural result of the answers to these questions.

Q. How old is the Life Mapping process?

A. Life Mapping, as described in this book, is 16 years old. It has

evolved from teachings that are thousands of years old. Fads

come and go, but wisdom is ageless. Socrates taught his students,

“the unexamined life is not worth living”. Until we really know

ourselves, we will feel incomplete, we will be plagued by conflict

and we will never feel true happiness.

Q. I can just see myself checking my To Do List every half hour to see

what’s next. Does the To Do List ever become second nature?

A. Within a few weeks the Activities on the To Do List will become

habits. We will review our To Do Lists several times per day. The

To Do List will need to be updated as Activities and Goals are

completed and new ones are added, but we will not be looking at

it every half hour.

Q. I just got sidetracked from my To Do List due to unforeseen circumstances.

What happens to the Activities that are not completed today?

A. If they still need to be done, reschedule them for the following

day. Some Activities, such as praying, walking or attending

church, would not be rescheduled. We just forget about them

and try not to miss them tomorrow.

Q. Do I use the same To Do List week after week?

A. We use the same To Do List until Activities and Goals are

completed, new ones are added, or some of them require

a modification. We might have to change our To Do List to

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account for changes in Activities that we have no control over.

As an example, our company changes our hours and we have to

come in at 8:00 instead of 9:00.

Q. Life Mapping seems like it would be hard to employ without the help of

family members. How do I maintain my Map when my family members

are not using a Life Map?

A. We share our Life Maps with them and work on dealing with

necessary conflicts as we would Activities we have no control

over.

Q. A friend drops by, the phone won’t stop ringing, a traffic jam, my kid

needs help with homework; unplanned interruptions like these will

inevitably happen. How can we possibly deal with them when they do?

A. We cannot plan for these unforeseen events. We deal with them

as they come up and make the necessary adjustments in our To

Do Lists, if possible, for the interrupted Activities. Remember,

our To Do List is the ideal and we will probably never live a

perfect day, much less a perfect week.

Q. I can see myself following my To Do List for a couple of weeks, and

then losing steam. Any tips on how to keep at it?

A. Post those Life Maps in as many prominent places as possible.

Give copies to as many of our family members, friends and co-

workers as we can, asking them to remind us if they see us off

track. If we find ourselves less motivated, we need to take out

those paragraphs we wrote describing our Goals and reread

them. Get that feeling back. Once we stick with the process for a

few weeks, three or four, most of our To Do List will have already

become habit.


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Ask for help

Coach Ben Parks, a local community hero, is a man who coached

football and wrestling for almost 40 years at Menlo-Atherton High

School. He served as a trainer for the San Francisco 49ers for nearly

25 years, training athletes like Jerry Rice, Joe Montana, Roger Craig

and Ronnie Lott. He volunteered many hours serving the boys and

girls in his community. He was a great role model that demonstrated

devotion to self-improvement through discipline, training and a

higher set of values. Coach Parks said, “I like to be called a role model,

because once you have that pressure, you’re inclined to live that way.”

Another reason to have a Life Map and to share with others.

Sharing our Life Maps with people we love tells them what we are

trying to do. Sure, there is some risk here, but we will find that these

people love us and want to help us. They are on our side. They want

us to be happy. Many of the problems we have with these people stem

from their inability to help us. When we show them our Life Maps,

we also need to tell them what we expect from them.

We should expect kindly reminders when our behavior is in

conflict with our stated Principles or Activities. Some people will

use a single word, like “helping”, or a hand signal, like one finger

pointing to the sky. When we hear or see the signal, we immediately

know we need to correct our behavior. Did we give that person

control over us? No! We gave that person the permission to help us

gain control over ourselves. The final decision will always be ours.

We will be very surprised at how willing and encouraging these

people will be. We should offer to return the favor if there is any

area they feel they need help. Remember, we are forming a team to

help us create the positive habits that will lead us to our nobler part.

The stronger we become, the more we will have to share with

others. Sharing will speed our development. As much as we try to

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give to others, we will find that more keeps coming back to us. God

promises us in Malichi 3:10, “Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse,

that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith

the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour

you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.” This

is one of the natural laws, the more we truly give of ourselves, the

greater we become and the more we are able to give. “Friendship is

the highest degree of perfection in society.”—Alexandra Stoddard,

Living a Beautiful Life (Avon). We should let others help us and help

as many of them as we can.

Are you dead?

On April 9, 1995, Bill Cosby gave a lecture at Howard University

on “Contributing to Society.” This lecture was aired on CSPAN2.

The real title should have been “Are you dead?” He was addressing

the students and faculty of the university. Throughout the lecture he

pointed to unconscious behaviors that are detrimental to our society

and followed them by asking, “Are you dead?” He began referring

to people with these behaviors as “dead people.” His definition of

a “dead person” is someone that has given up. “Someone that is

accepting life as it comes to them. They buy albums that debase

society. They go to movies that promote random sex and graphic

violence. They are twelve-year old girls who have so little respect

for themselves that they go out and get pregnant. They are crack

dealers who peddle death to support their own habits. They are fifth

generation residents of the projects.”

“Have you given up on yourself? Do you buy albums or go to

movies that are sending us negative images? Are you making up

excuses for your failures or deviant behavior? Do you show the

proper respect for your elders, the younger people, and yourself?”


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“You know when you do something wrong. Get on with your life

and quit making excuses. Be good at whatever you do, don’t settle for

being a professional ‘C’ student or person.

Make sure you are leaving something for those that will follow

you. Go out into the community and find as many “dead people” as

you can and help them. Disassociate yourself from stereotyping. You

want people to accept you as an individual, so why would you lump

others into groups?”

“Anyone have a problem with parenting? You need to teach your

children right from wrong. That is what being a parent is about. You

have to discuss the problems you are facing, because, they won’t be

solved by shaking a finger at them. You’re hungry for truth, honesty

and fairness. So, don’t settle for half-truths from your leaders. Don’t

be afraid to demand what is right for you and for others. You can be

our heroes. But it won’t happen by itself. You have to make an honest

effort to make a difference.” Bill Cosby’s version of Life Mapping.

“If a man happens to find himself, he has a mansion which he can

inhabit with dignity all the days of his life.”—James Michener (1907-

1997). In the process of finding ourselves, we need to remember

to enjoy each moment. “Stay in the moment and make each day

your masterpiece.”—John Wooden in San Francisco Chronicle. John

Wooden is an example of a man that lived his Life Map. He created

his masterpiece! Will we create ours?

Don’t let ourselves down!

Hopefully, we will complete our lives without regrets. When I

pass into the next lifetime, I will not be compared to Moses, Buddha

or Jesus. I will be compared to the person I was capable of becoming.

I will not let myself down! “Let him that would move the world, first

move himself.”—Socrates.

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This reminds me of another poem by Edgar A. Guest (1881-1959)

and here are a few lines:

Compensation

I’d like to think that here and there,

When I am gone, there shall remain

A happier spot that might have not

Existed had I toiled for gain;

Again, I recommend you read the whole poem to fully understand

how important his point truly is!

How will we know when our Life Map is directing us down the

right path? When at the end of the day, we feel a little calmer than we

did yesterday. When our daily behavior and actions come ever closer

to representing the person we want to become. And ultimately, when

we can ponder our yesterdays without regrets and our tomorrows

without fears, then we are on the correct path!

Why should we change? Because, we are not yet perfect! As we

change and update our Life Maps, we may want to reread this book.

Be patient, there are no quick fixes. As our lives improve and things

become clearer, our understanding of this material will deepen. We

will see and understand things we missed in the first reading. The

compound effect of multiple readings will astound us.

At the beginning of this book we were asked whether we would

act. The answer was, we would if we are ready. I hope we are ready!

Each day that passes is another day lost. We must begin to seek our

nobler part, today! Matthew 7:7; “seek, and ye shall find.” If we are a

seeker, we have found our answer. This is the process that will help

us find ourselves. Let the musicians make music! The best is yet to be!

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Chapter 9 – Appendix

Sample Budgets

Gross Monthly Incomes $2,000 $3,000 $5,000 $8,000 $15,000 $20,000 $25,000

Taxes $160 $300 $600 $1,200 $2,550 $4,000 $6,250

Net Monthly Income $1,840 $2,700 $4,400 $6,800 $12,450 $16,000 $18,750

Retirement-10% $184 $270 $440 $680 $1,245 $1,600 $1,875

Charity-10% $184 $270 $440 $680 $1,245 $1,600 $1,875

Debt/Rsrve/Lg Trm-10% $184 $270 $440 $680 $1,245 $1,600 $1,875

Housing-35% $644 $945 $1,540 $2,380 $4,358 $5,600 $6,563

Food-11% $202 $297 $484 $748 $1,370 $1,760 $2,063

Leisure-8% $147 $216 $352 $544 $996 $1,280 $1,500

Healthcare-5% $92 $135 $220 $340 $623 $800 $938

Utilities-5% $92 $135 $220 $340 $623 $800 $938

Transportation-4% $74 $108 $176 $272 $498 $640 $750

Clothing-2% $37 $54 $88 $136 $249 $320 $375

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Suggested Reading List

The Bible, The King James Version

Growing in Christian Morality, Ahlers, Allaire, Koch

Mere Christianity, C. S. Lewis

Benjamin Franklin The Autobiography And Other Writings

They Call Me Coach, John Wooden

The Greatest Salesman in the World, Og Mandino

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey

Jesus CEO, Laurie Beth Jones

20 Things I Want My Kids to Know (Life’s Greatest Lessons), Hal

Urban

The 10 Natural Laws of Successful Time and Life Management,

Hyrum W. Smith

The Five Rituals of Wealth, Tod Barnhart

When All You’ve Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough, Harold Kushner

A Mapmaker’s Dream, James Cowan

Living The Simple Life, Elaine St. James

The New Pritikin Program, Robert Pritikin

The Path of Least Resistance, Robert Fritz

The Courage to Live Your Dreams, Les Brown

Your Time and Your Life, Charles R. Hobbs

As a Man Thinketh, James Allen

The Story of Good and Evil, foG (ISSUU.com)

Time and circumstances are keeping us from becoming the

people we were created to be. We all need a way to lter

out the unimportant activities and to identify the important

activities that will lead us to the path to our best future. Admiral

Bidcoff once said, “We live our lives as if we were involved

in a series of disasters rather than in an orderly process to

achieve the natural results we desire.” Life mapping is the

orderly process that leads us to achieve the natural results we

desire and deserve. The reward for investing your time in the

creation of your Life Map can be better than any other use of

that time.

foG is a friend of God and his meat is to do the will of God.

LIFE

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SELF IMPROVEMENT

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Life Mapping with Jesus

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