Life Is But A Stopping Place - tcfrochester.org · Steve Colangelo, in loving memory of son Daniel...

July / August 2018 www.tcfrochester.org

Shared by Pat Loomis, in loving memory of son Matt Loomis & Cousin Carole TCF, Rochester NY

Life Is But A Stopping Place

Life is but a stopping place,

A pause in what’s to be,

A resting place along the road,

to sweet eternity.

We all have different journeys,

Different paths along the way,

We all were meant to learn some things,

but never meant to stay …

Our destination is a place,

Far greater than we know.

Author Unknown

I feel you … I see you … In everything and everywhere… I miss you so much.

Author Unknown

http://www.tcfrochester.org/

July / August 2018 Newsletter The Compassionate Friends of Rochester NY 2

Holding on and Letting Go

We are on a journey. The journey of grief.

At the start of the journey we let go of our loved ones.

Whether we were ready or not, we had to let go.

At the start of the journey we were in shock, going through the motions of calling hours, funerals, and

talking with friends and loved ones, as they said their good byes.

Soon after we start sorting, sorting out what happened, how it happened, and

what to do next.

We can start sorting clothes, personal items, and pictures.

How do we know what to keep, what to give away…….what to let go of.

It’s hard, and painful, and that’s just the physical stuff.

During this time we are also sorting out memories, memories that we never want to let go of, and

other painful ones, we all want to let go of, but it takes time.

The memory of how the shirt looked on him. Where you were and what you were doing the last time he

wore it. Hold on to that memory. Try to smile how you smiled when it happened. Not easy right

now….when will it get better.

Memories are the most precious items we have. They will keep our loved one alive forever.

Remembering and sharing things about them, that’s what we have to hold on to. That’s what we

want to share with others

In time we can start letting go of the guilt, and the pain. The grief subdues a little at a time. Letting go

of these is a good thing, it means our hearts are healing little by little.

Never fully, but the hurting empty hole left there is getting smaller,.

Are we getting used to living with the hole?

Or are we filling in parts with loving memories of our loved ones.

Our lives go on, without out them physically, but their spirit is with us.

Sitting by us, or on our shoulder watching, guiding, even laughing.

( you know when you stumbled they laughed, or when the ketchup fell on to the front of your shirt ).

We talk to them, think of them, we hold on to them, tight.

We use their teachings keeping us going we hold on.

We can’t let go, we don’t want to forget them, we talk to them , we look for signs, we hold on.

Each of us goes forward at our own pace, and with our own style.

Do you wear their clothes, visit their room, with hopes of their scent?

That’s okay, hold on to it, don’t let others say “ You should be done” or things like “it’s been a year, you

should be better now” and think you are crazy. Cont. pg. 3


What do they know? You are the one grieving. We all grieve at our own pace.

Hold on to whatever you need to, keep the memories alive, keep them alive.

Hold on to your loved ones, in your hearts, and minds forever.

What do you let go of? The guilt, the what –ifs, the negatives, and maybe the people who just don’t

get it….

The list is different for everyone.

BUT NEVER LET GO OF THEIR MEMORY.

They will be Forever in our hearts.

George Carafos, in loving memory of son David George Carafos

TCF, Rochester NY

STANDING

People say “Oh you are doing so well,

you are so strong, you are an inspiration!” We do not feel strong.

We feel shaken to the core, Saddened beyond belief,

Pain beyond comprehension, Forever changed.

What do they see that we cannot see?

“That a horrible storm,

unexpectedly ripped through our lives and we are

still standing”

They are amazed We are paralyzed

Still Standing

Julie Short TCF, Southeastern Illinois Chapter

In Memory of Kyra


ANGELS

Angels come in all sizes I’m lucky to have these encounters They can come in many ways My angel is always near I always feel my sorrow Or be with us during the days Quickly disappear. Don’t always expect to see wings My angel left when only five Or halos upon their heads When his earthly life was through Angels can come in disguises Our angels are always near us They can even sleep in our beds They never leave me or you An angel can softly touch you Pay attention to the little things With a feather of a touch Like the butterfly who lands near They can leave thoughts within you Or the “feeling” of someone close by You might feel it’s just a “hunch”. And your “signs” will be clear. When you’re sad and feeling lonely When you are feeling sad They can stand alongside of you And your day is not going good You don’t always have to “see” them Angels are all around us They have “signs” they give us, too. They want to be understood. You can often feel their presence I’ll always watch for my angel If you’ll let your heart be free I know he’s watching over me Your child can softly whisper… Death cannot separate our love “Mom, I’m here, it’s me.” Our love is through eternity.

Sharon J. Bryant In Memory of my son, Andy Dunbar January 22, 1972 – October 24, 1977

I’m his mom and he’s my angel…forever Reprinted by permission of author

Memories

The certain special memories

That follow me each day,

Cast your shadow in my life

In a certain way.

Sometimes the blowing wind

Or the lyrics of a song,

Make me stop and think of you

Sometimes all day long.

Memories are good to have

To share and keep in my heart,

Just knowing that you’re still inside

Makes sure we’ll never part.

Collette Covington

TCF, Lake Charles LA


This year’s annual TCF Rochester Chapter balloon release was held on June 5, 2018.

Many thanks to Christine & Jason Price, Maureen & Joe Stuhler, and Alice & Cesar Torres

for preparing such a wonderful evening for all of us. Their program was filled with beautiful

poems & songs.

Thank you to Jason & Christine Price for formatting the program & then printing it via Paychex.

Thank you to Phil & Myra DeFranco for donating the beautiful hand crafted table.

We were very happy when Dave & Denese Price won the raffle.

And thank you to all who helped during the evening … from submission of a poem or song

to helping with the balloons, to bringing a dish to pass, to clean up.

It was a very special evening to share in loving memory of our children, grandchildren, & sibilings.

My Sunshine

Girls, you are my Sunshine You are so beautiful in every way

You’ll never know how much I miss you I’ll be with you in heaven some day

The other night while I was sleeping

I felt your presence so strong I know you were there to visit me To comfort me, and help me along

I’ll always love you and keep you in my heart

You know I’ll get past these earthly storms Because I surely know you are right there

Forever cradled in Jesus’ arms

As I sit here and write my feelings The words seem to help me realize today

That Jesus really needs you too Because he brought you home to stay

Girls, I know you’ll be up there waiting To show me the wonders all around

When I rise up to Heaven Where together, we will forever be found

Donald Moyers TCF, Galveston County TX

My Sunset Day

Yes today is my Sunset Day I know it has been seven long years to you But up here, a Sunset Day I’ve had just one It was the day when straight to Heaven I flew Yes, I have gone “Beyond the Sunset” To this bright city, forever of peace, joy, and love You see, I am here in a life eternal It is a place called “Heaven Above” Today is your special time with the memories you hold So carry yourself well with your head held high Because someday we’ll meet again In heaven, where time is called, “By and By” I love you, Tim

Donald Moyers TCF, Galveston County TX


August

The summer runs to harvest –

Do you ask:

How can a harvest be without my child?

Friend, some day soon

the harvest in your life

will bring you hope and wealth

from love remembered.

Summer

Sunlight dancing in the branches

of the birchtree at my door.

Meadow stretching smug and lazy,

darker, greener than before.

Wind as warm as hugging children,

clouds so round and very close –

and on one small grave there trembles

lovingly an early rose.

Summerwind

The one who owns this summer is not here,

not here to know the tender summerwind,

not here to share the glowing and the song.

The one who owns this summer did not live,

not live to touch the richness of this day,

this day in summer when you are alone.

Weep to the summerwind, weep and love again

the one you remember.

The Poems of Sascha Wagner


We want to share this support group information: Face 2 Face Friendship Group, Rochester NY. face2facerochester.com Providing support &

hope to families coping with miscarriage, stillbirth, & infant loss.

Healing after Loss to Addiction A bereavement support group focused on living and healing

after loss related to drug use or overdose. Please call Lifetime Care for more information …

585-475-8800.

Bereaved Parents. Bereaved parentsusa.org A national non-profit self-help group that offers

support, understanding, compassion, and hope to bereaved parents, grandparents, & siblings.

Shared by Pat Loomis.

Alive Alone. Alivealone.org. Support for now childless parents. Shared by National TCF.

“Healing the Grieving Heart” Web Radio Show. Compassionatefriends.org (left side of the home

page, link to “Healing the Grieving Heart”). Live shows are at 11:00 am on Thursdays. The

archived shows are available 24 hours per day.

Love Gifts

Steve Colangelo, in loving memory of son Daniel Colangelo

Mary Ann & Tom Dobbins, in loving memory of granddaughter Colleen Josephine

Dobbins

Mary & Mark Graupmann, in loving memory of Robert Joseph Kuitems, given in

honor of his father Jack Kuitems

Nancy & Jack Timmons, in loving memory of Robert Joseph Kuitems, given in

honor of his father Jack Kuitems

Cynthia Nelson, in loving memory of daughter Kendra Marie Nelson

Cynthia & Nicholas Oliva, in loving memory of daughter Stephanie Oliva

Elaine Wilson, in memory of Keith and Duane Wilson

Support for the meeting on May 22, was donated by

Phil & Myra DeFranco, in loving memory of son Philip DeFranco II

http://www.face2facerochester.com/


Upcoming Events:

41st TCF National Conference The Compassionate Friends is pleased to announce that St. Louis, Missouri, will be the site of the 41st TCF National Conference on July 27-29, 2018. “Gateway to Hope and Healing” For more information please visit: compassionatefriends.org (our national chapter website)

Rochester Chapter TCF Mission:

When a child dies, at any age, the family suffers intense pain and may feel hopeless and

isolated. he Compassionate Friends provides highly personal comfort, hope, and

support to every family experiencing the death of a son or a daughter, a brother or a

sister, or a grandchild, and helps others better assist the grieving family. Adopted 2-25-12

Meeting Location:

First Unitarian Church, 220 Winton Road South

Rochester, New York

Meeting Days :

Tuesday the 10th & Tuesday the 24th (July)

Tuesday the 14th & Tuesday the 28th (August)

7:00 P.M. to 7:15 P.M. - social

7:15 P.M. to 9:00 P.M. – meeting

Contacts:

Christine Price [email protected]

TCF Regional Coordinator:

Jacquie Edwards-Mitchell 718-451-0814

TCF National :

877-969-0010 or www.compassionatefriends.org

Send newsletter inputs or web comments to:

Joan Carafos, [email protected]

If you would like to contribute to our Compassionate Friends Chapter, please forward your Love Gifts and Donations to: The Compassionate Friends of Rochester C/O 3446 Rush Mendon Road Honeoye Falls, NY 14472 Please make checks payable to: The Compassionate Friends

of Rochester, New York

Sincere Thanks!

To receive this newsletter via e-mail, please contact

Alice Torres at [email protected]

Welcome New Friends At nearly every meeting we welcome new members to our group, always with mixed emotions. We are glad you found us, but we are so sorry for the circumstances that bring us together. We understand your pain; we hope our unconditional friendship and understanding will help you through your grief. Attending a meeting for the first two or three times takes courage, but for many it is the first real step toward healing. It may seem overwhelming, so we encourage you to come to several meetings to give yourself a chance to become comfortable.

Support Compassionate Friends Rochester, Inc. when you shop at: smile.amazon.com

https://smile.amzaon.com/ch/16-1129742

http://www.compassionatefriends.org/

https://smile.amzaon.com/ch/16-1129742

Rochester, NY Chapter The Compassionate Friends

OurChildrenRememberedJuly2018

BirthdaysandRemembrance

Birthday

Remembrance

Timothy E. Hale July 1

Juliana Jean LaMonica July 1

Graham Jackson Knight July 2

Arabella Marie Lee Richmond July 3

Wya William Zuber July 4

Zachary Lawrence Yates July 4

John J. Parlato July 5

Christopher D. Covert July 10

Kendra Marie Nelson July 10

Christopher W. Graser July 12

Graham Wilson Smith July 12

Joseph Steven Monroe July 13

Karen Jill. D'Amico July 14

Sean Eric Goeke Jaggard July 15

Steven L. Bri July 16

Laura Catherine Mix July 18

Mary Jo Palka July 22

Aaron Y. Wallace July 24

Donni Witherell July 25

Kelley Ann Gaffield July 25

Amy Briscoe July 25

Arthur Briscoe July 26

Joel C. Stuhler July 28

Seth Andrew Krebbeks July 2

Sheri Barstow July 4

Juliana Jean LaMonica July 5

Christopher D. Covert July 6

William Peter Cook July 6

Cameron Jack Vickers July 8

Olivia Grace Guerrero July 10

Keith Mar n Wilson July 11

Joseph Steven Monroe July 13

Robert Joseph Kuitems July 13

William F. Beyerbach II July 15

Duane A. Wilson July 16

Michael Cucchiara July 17

Ryan James Frank July 17

Christopher Robert Crawford July 19

Aaron Michael Plunke July 20

Timothy J. Rumsey July 21

Paul McManus Jr. July 21

Michael Ma hew Brown July 27

Sco David Swanson July 28

Ma hew A. Mo wala July 31

Rochester, NY Chapter The Compassionate Friends

OurChildrenRememberedAugust2018

BirthdaysandRemembrance

Birthday

Remembrance

Jefferson Patrick Vitek August 2

Mathew A. Stewart August 4

Caroline Elizabeth Harber August 4

Jus n A. McLaren August 5

Nora Ann Sample August 7

Elizabeth Louise Bouchard August 10

Thomas Joseph Drasch August 12

Jeffrey Michael Simon August 14

Carrie Nicole Merrick August 17

Sonya M. Seetharam August 18

Ricky C. Jones August 23

Ricardo Bernabeu, Jr. August 26

Tristan Foley Hanna August 28

Ma hew Brian Rezsnyak August 30

Natalia Pasternak August 31

Michael Simons Burbank August 1

Jefferson Patrick Vitek August 3

Ryan Nicholas Ellio August 6

Sonya M. Seetharam August 6

Eric Sco Levy August 7

Reynold Armand August 7

Theresa Ann Kohl August 8

Patricia Helen Klehr August 8

Kelley Ann Gaffield August 8

Ma hew A. Farash August 8

Mathew A. Stewart August 9

Eric Lorine Rupp August 11

Ma hew R. Loomis August 15

Jus n D. King‐DeSalvo August 16

Jeffrey Michael Simon August 16

Brandon Alexander Lass August 17

Philip John DeFranco II August 22

Devin Donald Kusse August 22

Joel Ayite Ajavon August 26

Arthur Briscoe August 27

Wya William Zuber August 29

Alex Robert VanFleet August 30

Jeffrey Louis Russ August 31

Life Is But A Stopping Place - tcfrochester.org · Steve Colangelo, in loving memory of son Daniel...

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