From: Francine Herlehy <herlehy@uwindsor.ca>Date: Thu, 13 Dec 2012 22:06:52 -0500Subject: Letter from Dean Cameron re Oyez

Please see important Letter from Dean Camille Cameron regarding the recent issue of the Oyez.

Francine A. Herlehy I Assistant Dean (Student Services)University of Windsor Faculty of Law Room Gi 12401 Sunset Avenue Windsor, Ontario N98 3P4

519-253-3000 ext 4228 < herlehy@uwindsor.ca

Please consider the environment before punting this email.

Dear Students,

I am writing regarding the decision today to withdraw from circulation available copies of

Oyez. That decision was taken because there was a comment in Oyez that crossed a line.

Looked at from the perspectives of many members of the public, our alumni, our donors,

and our other friends and supporters, it was offensive and unacceptable. I do not mean

that was the intention, but that was the effect. Material that is printed and disseminated

in the name of Windsor Law has to take account of these reputational issues and

concerns. I am responsible to our students and faculty, and also to a much wider

constituency, thus I had to make the decision I did. I wish I had not been put in that

position, but I was.

Sincerely,

Camille CameronDean and ProfessorWindsor Law School

ALL RISE.

* RYANKEEP

GIVE YOUR PROFABREAK

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ON THE INSIDETERMS AND IDEAS YOU WILL ENCOUNTER IN THE PAGES THAT FOLLOW. GREAT FOR CONVERSATION.

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LEGAL TERMS ONESHOULD AVOID USINGIN REAL LIFE- Reversible error- Running at large- Joint Adventure

PHRASES A LAW STUDENT SHOULD NEVERUSE- Frew Brews [SEE P. 9]- Facebook Privacy Notice

[SEE P. 9]- Epic- Ethics

‘social justice to the people’but then gladly accepting aposition via OCl’s for the “experience.” [SEE . 7]2) the act of calling someoneout for something they’d likelywant to keep on the dll [SEE i.

5]. [fig.1]LORD OF THE FLIES: A book youwere supposed to read in Elementary school, but opted for“Coles Notes” instead. Thiswas before you knew aboutthe internet.LORD OF THE FILES: What you’llcall yourself to feel awesomeafter the first time you reorganize a senior lawyers files.For 37 hours.

LEGAL EUPHEMISMS:POSTAGE RULE: If you sent it ina text, it doesn’t matter if she’sopened it yet, consider it received.

MARKET VALUE: You’re a law student. Yours just went up, slickINTERESTED PARTY: The role ofthe crusher as opposed to the

crushee in your law school romance.RETURN OF SERVICE: Again, nicelydone. chief

A Sliding Scale of Exam Time Out- KEY TERMS

bursts to Amount of Classes Attended SELL OuT: 1) The act ofentering law school to bring

I need mysleep befor”%an exam

I Just orderedthe Act

I hear It’s a_____B Class

Are weresponsiblefor the readings?

ACT?What ACT?I1I

Do you haveclass notesI ca have?

cryIng In thelibrary

100%

I ow nothIng

No... I don’t havenotes...

I hear It’s an WC class

I Just gotta learnwhat ‘res Judicata’ le

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I don’t take notes.I Just like to listen

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77eCye7Windsor Law’s premiere Legal Satire Magazine.We pride ourselves on our ability to elicit laughter from the least broad audience accessible;Law Students who attend Uwindsor.

FOR US. BY US.

Lindsay TravesEDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Don Pyper Chris Marshall Jilian DeleySTAFF WRITER STAFF WRITER STAFF WRITER

Adrian Chung Alison Gorham Ken BendeiraSTAFF WRITER STAFF WRITER STAFF WRITER

Tim MorrisFASHION EDITOR

Robert RussonSPORTS COLUMNIST

Ava EliasPHOTO EDITOR

Re KramerDESIGNER

CONTRIBUTORS

Ken Bendiera, Paul Voinea, Sarah Donahue, Aaron Johnson, Halley Carcasole, Josh Price,Jana Smith, Jackie Morrison

The OyeZ welcomes all student submissions but reserves the right not to print anything banal, unfunny, offensive, or below the respective B-curve. Send your photos, ideas, articles,faux ads, or anything else you are vain enough to think we should include.

PLEASE SEND ALL SUBMISSIONS TO LINDSAYTRAVES@HOTMAIL.COM

For past issues, visit: Web2.uwindsor.ca/Iaw/theoyez!index.htm

OREENDALE U WINDSORCOMMUNITY COLLEGE LAW SCHOOL

COURTROOM FACILITIESWhile not a law school, Greendale finds having a courtroom The more necessary UWindsor courtroom comes fully equippedabsolutely necessary. A critic might claim they hold court in their with outdated sound systems, plugs at some of the seats, a podigym facilities, but the Dean will tell you, their courtroom comes urn on wheels, oh, and three awesome quilts.equipped with a heated Olympic sized pool.

THE DEANDean Craig Pelton of Greendale Community College is a lean,mean, deaning machine. He has dedicated his life to improvingthe “fifth rate safety school” boasting “would you rather go toa danger school?”. Dean Pelton can regularly be seen trottingaround campus toting appropriate pun costumes for almost everyoccasion. It’s not Halloween, but it’s absolutely appropriate todress as a Rockette to let students know that class has been“Can Can Cancelled.” [Fig.1]

MOST FAMOUS PERSON TO WALK THE HALLSBoast, via statue, it’s very own Luis Guzman, star of such epics as Not to be outdone, Windsor Law has its very own celebrity, David“No Picnic” and “Lola’s Café” Sazant of “Mean Girls.” That’s right, students, the feisty member

of Marymount’s Mathlete team waltzes our halls daily. Yes, ladies,he picks the girl, too.

SOCIAL EVENTSHalloween Parties, Greene Day concerts, Valentine’s Day Danc- The Friday after the Halloween party speaks to the quality of oures, Tranny Dances, Caesar Salad day, Puppy parades, Pop and social events. Every event is amazing, and you should go to all oflock-a-thons: Greendale has an event for everyone! them. *unbiased head of social committee

LIBRARY FACILITIESThe Greendale library comes equipped with an unnaturally large The Windsor Law library is finally allowing you to bring in coffee.study room, and a monkey in the vents. The library was hometo both Pillowtown and the Republic of Blanketsburg; and hassurvived not one, but two paintball wars.

COURSE OFFERINGSHas a very diverse list of classes, including Spanish, Biology, Doesn’t even offer a course on Jude Law (see..pg. 9)Pottery, Ladders, “Who’s the Boss”, Baby Talk, Advanced BreatheHolding, and CanI Fry That?

THE STUDENT BODYA rag-tag team of misfits who somehow all fit perfectly together A rag-tag team of misfits who somehow all fit perfectly togetheracademically and socially. II academically and socially.

FACULTYHome to such unaccredited professors as Senior El Tigre’ Chang Not one of our professors has had a keytar meltdown in the park-and Admiral Lee Slaughter. ing lot. NOT ONE.

MASCOT

4 Formerly The Grizzlies, Greendale opted to adopt Ours has the same name as a Japanese car. [Fig. 4]

j more accessible “Greendale Human Being” who is

Er’fl and racially guos Fig. 3

Unknown [Fig.2]

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chine at the lobby was a little strange, butthey had matcha-flavoured cookies, so it evened out.”

- Claire Bridgemount, L2

“I loved the fun innuendos thrown at me during myin-firm at Bennett Jones. BJ this, BJ that, BJs all overmy face. I guess they just really love Ben & Jerry’s’

- Bobby Flannigan, L2

“At first I loved the dinner that Fasken Martineauthrew for me. The Riesling I had paired so elegantlywith my Chilean sea bass and wasabi-infused polenta. But then they started asking me all these questionslike ‘What about Faskens compelled you to apply?’And I was all like ‘Quality of work, approachable associates, high-profile dealings, blahblahblah, MOARWINE PLEEZE.’ And then a floor happened.”

- Beverly Irish, unemployed

“I came in and was all like, ‘It’s such a pleasure to behere. Bro And they were all like, ‘It’s always excitingfor us to see new faces, BRO And then I was all like,‘Bro, please, do not feign humility; I’m the one whoshould be gracious here, BRO.’ And then they were all

like ‘Broooo

then weBRO’d--oh, the epic BRO’ing we did that day[. .

- Unnamed Western student at McCarthy Tetraultin-firm

On Davies in-firm: “Luxurious office space, stylishartwork hanging from the,.were polite, witty and easyto talk to. Bathrooms werealso gorgeous, so metallic and spotlessly clean.Somewhat easy to ignorethe female associate huddled in the corner, tryingto choke herself with herpearls. Dinner afterwardwas superb.”

“One of the partners at the Heenan Blaikie dinnersaid my tie wasn’t skinny enough. It was a shoelace:’

- William ZeBerg, L2

“Goodmans? More like. . . UNGoodmans. Ha.”

- Dillon Hollandaise, eyeroll-inducer

The Chronicles of this S%$T Time of Year [by Ken Bandeira]

Exams are fast approaching and with that comes those Windsor Law sweaters, track pants, CANS being thrown around likea drunk law student on the mechanical bull, and the musky scent of law students as they scrimmage around trying to getthere shit together, panicking and hoping that everyone else in class paid as much attention as them.

As profesors find new methods to grade those exams beyond throwing all of them down the stairwell and grading based onwhere thapers fall, IL’s running around like chicken’s without heads, with stress in their eyes and the hope that the devastation won’t be to much when they check there grades in the New Year. Sleepless nights, new memories, and a few tearsmight be around the corner but never forget that it’s all about the experience. I am discussing here experiences beyondblacking out at the Loop on Halloween, losing your jacket the same night, and then posting on Facebook asking for its safereturn.

Lastly I leave you stressed out nuts with some words of wisdom about billing your client (apparently something 1 L ShaunAaron failed to do>. Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients9 DRUM ROLL PLEASE....To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.

2C12 fac- 1 7

“My interview with Fogler Rubinoff wentpretty well. I mean, the Soul-Removal ma- IN — FIRIVI DEBRIEFS:

and REAL TALK

Anita Jabb, L2

ateWELCOME TO WINDSOR LAW! And if you’re in Law II, Law Ill or been waiting in line for a parking space, welcome back! Now that classes are in full swing, both of you that have been paying attention in class think you’vefigured out your professor’s teaching style. Sorry to be that guy, but you’re wrong. Learning your professor’s styleproperly takes years, careful study and a few well-placed spies. Since you can’t afford all three, the Oyez will helpyou out by giving these warning signs of an evil professor. If your prof does any two of the following, your legalcareer will require you to drop the course, even if it means failing. Trust us, an extra year of law school is nothingcompared to a professor who hates you, even with blind marking:

• The day before your midterm onthe application of a lengthy anddifficult statute, he has the statuteoverturned

• The murder victim’s in the examhypo is an obvious anagram ofyour own name, which is especially odd since the course is Accessto Justice.

• When you ask her for a recommendation letter, she mails you anindex card with an F on it.

• The syllabus says his officeis located under the AmbassadorBridge.

• Before class started, she managed to put Whoopee cushionsbelow some of the chairs, whichwould be kinda funny if the gasthat came out didn’t make everyone cou

•_?rearly morning seminars,he offers everyone in the class

homemade coffee with homemade/ cream, but something about that

coffee has a sticky, salty after

• He always calls on you in class.

• If someone’s cell phone ringsduring class, she has this embarrassing policy of making theoffending student walk to the frontof class and apologize to the classwhile she takesthe phone andcalls every firmon Bay Street.

• Shows up tothe Tax Law lecture and spendstwo hours teaching the subjectof Tax Law

• Constantlyquotes that legalmaxim that “The answer is alwaysmaybe,” and then sets a midtermwith only true-false questions.

• e has this annoying habitof swing up to students’ predr.r’i making awkward smalltalk h everyone and sacrificing

goats.

When you ask her a questionabout a difficult case, she directsyou to read her unpublished manuscript on the topic, before tearfullybegging the class for connectionsin the publishing world.

• After finding an irregularitywhen printing the exams, sheaccuses a student of theft, calls inher husband and makes the entireclass stay and submit to a search,which would be the funniest jokein this entire piece except that itreally happened.

• When you ask he how long theexam is, he proudly tells you thatit’s eight and a half by eleven,which is impossible because thatwould describe its area, not length.

• Her list of required reading

• The midterm assignment andthe final exam are each worth100% of the grade.

• During the course moot, heinsists that you stand on a sectionof the floor labeled ‘Trapdoor’.

• If she catches you using Facebookduring class, she adds you.

• Will offer to teach classes outdoors for a change, in the middleof winter.

• Your final exam hypo consistsof one word.

• He never calls on you in class.

[By Josh Price]*Editors Note: Sounds like thatprofessor LOVES you!

includes issues of The Oyez.*

r

( (f CHESTNUTS ROASTING OVER A PRAIRIE FIRE

e Put some hair on your chest for those cold winter‘..with 3anaaidIacLie nights. This

heavenly

mix-Santa may enjoy his milk, but I think most of us Can

ture is sure toappreciate our treats with added indulgence. Here

get you all firedare some of our favourite holiday drink recipes:

up. A fantasHOLIDAY HELPER’S CINN’ABRATION tic offering forThis cup ofjoy should be on every student’s wish list, friends and relaIt will help you celebrate the completion of exams tives during thewhile giving you the wholesome appearance neededto decorate with your family. With the pep from coffee and the taste of Cinnabon, what more could youask for from a beverage? Oh right, Schnapps!

Ingredients1 large holiday mug8 oz. hot coffee1 oz. cinnamon Syrup2-3 tbsp. Coffee-Mate French Vanilla2 oz. cinnamon Schnapps

THE NAUGHTY NOT NICE MIMOSA (AKA THE TUCUS)

This mix may taste nice, but one too many and you’llbe sure to find yourself on the naughty list.

Ingredients1 champagne flute1 oz. amaretto½ cup Champagne½cup orange juice

SCHEDULE CHANGES FOR WINTER SEMESTERfqr $emestør? Wa1UnJor tho aw Ustoshufffe? ThaOyez

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Bhsket Weaving: Enrolled swdeiãdropped)ike proverbial fliesonce they realized it was an acronyrn for 8asic Acquisition of SoldKontract Evidence Termination andWaivers of Evidence Assurances

years have completed theirpaperrequirement, this class is no longerof interest to them.

8. Lawyer as a Conflict ResolvsNote:lknowit’s Jewish

students became drastically IeLaws but it just didn’t lend to the pun.

holiday season.

Ingredients1 shot glass1 oz. tequila2 dashes ofTabasco

SHAKE YOUR

GELT-MAKER-TI

NI

Shake, shake, shake your gelt-maker (and your martini shaker) all night long. This festive blend is sureto have you roaring ‘l’chaim!’ into the wee earlyhours.

Ingredients1 martini glass2 oz. vodka1 oz. Goldschlager...con’ton pg. 10

rt.aW Mørvariousiemala*tendees1earried that theYclásawasflQØWJjLe aats bavbenralstkep 5 Professional esponslbiatNev

information that*dasfolke ía not open to thosewqcWrJrrZj’

ronto, freeing up sprfl spaca InternetiawNøw tba evePon&s taken C prihUhei(re tooscared to leert how to evade thoselaws rendering the course meaningless

4. Land Use Planning: After discovering that the course is not as fun asthe first half of a game of Monopoly,enrollment became fleeting. How-

6. Law and Medicine: oTt’Snot1an event at Whitestar

7. Copyright Now that most third

RUDOLF THE RED NOSED ROCKET

Save your shopping money and combine the remnants of your liquor cabinet for this delicious brew.Put a festive twist on the summer classic with a dropof red and maraschino a cherry.

Ingredients1 taIl glass½ cup of PBR (or comparable cheap beer)½ cup of Smirnoff Ice1 drop of red food colouring1 maraschino cherry.

THE DRE1DEL

Your head may be spinning after too many of thesecocktails. This drink is sparkling Hanukkah bluewith shimmering gold and smooth enough to devour on 8 consecutive nights.

Ingredients1 martini glass1 oz. lemon rum1/2 oz. blue curacao1 oz. coconut rum (Malibu)3 oz. pineapple Juicepinch of edible golf flakesstirred over ice — —

HOLIDAY MISCHIEF

This gift of a concoctiorenjoy sex on the beach bu,this refreshment is for you.ten enough to get you in the c

Ingredients1 large red wine glass2 oz. gin1 oz. triple sec1 oz, blackberry liquci3 oz. orange juice3 oz. Champagneshake and serve over ice,

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This grumpy Calgarian has someBEEFS pet peeves, and she is unleash-

[by Halley Carcasole] ing the wrath! . . .again!

1. Real Housewives of Anything.

2. Hangovers. How dare you take the fun out of my alcoholism?

3. When a person calls your phone and has the wrong number, but can’t“Is Elizabeth there?”

“No, sorry, you have the wrong number.”“Lizzy? Liz?”

“Stifi Nope”.“Well is this 566-6666?”

“Yes”.“So can I talk to Elizabeth?”

“No”.

4. On that Beef, unknown numbers that don’t leave a message! I know it must have been thathot guy who I gave my number to! Or that law firm I really want to work at! Or.... anotherwrong number.

5. When people treat their relationships like a reality TV show. I don’t care why your boyfriend didn’t answer your phone call until the third ring.

6. Weak handshakes. If you can’t shake my hand properly, I can’t respect you.

7. Guys who wear sneakers outside of the rm. Where are you running off to? Hopefully themall to buy better shoes!

8. Dan Di Fonzo’s perfections. That man is a gift to women! It’s kind of annoying. Um...nevermind. Dan, call me!

9. When girls spend hours on their hair, just to get it to look “messy”. It’s not that they actually do this, it’s that they think they are fooling anyone.

10. Pervy guys. I know this beef isn’t original, but it is disgusting.

Now that Movember is over, it should be easier to avoid pervy guys.

112C12 f4L 1

••••........... ...... .. .... ... ...... . .. . ... .. .

everyone who missed it, here’sa recap from someone who alsomissed it — by choice. BecauseI’m an adult. And didn’t have$200 for the cheapest ticket onStubhub.

The Crowd: A sea of Selena Gomez hating, purplewearing, preteen Beliebersfilled the Palace. Sprinkledamong them were severalawkward looking fathersdesperately trying to winthe love of their daughters,a pack of 30 year old cougars who have come out ofhiding since the Beeb’s 18thbirthday, and several 24year old girls who you shouldn’tbe judged because IT’S TOTALLY NORMAL FOR THEM TOBE THERE, OKAY?!

The Opening Act (Carly RaeJepson): 30 minutes of CallMe Maybe on a loop. One manstarts bleeding from the ears;everyone else seems okay.

The Stage: The stage, located in the middle of the Palace,has an offensive number ofpurple flashing lights, and noless than 3 glitter cannons.Basically you’ll have a seizurefrom the lights, and then wakeup covered in glitter with noidea what happened. It’s theclosest any of us will ever cometo understanding Ke$ha. TheBiebs even as a flying heartswing — you can google it. It’sfrom this swing that Bieber shedone single tear over his recent

12 2C12

break-up with Selena Gomez.In a related note, I no longerbelieve in love.

• The Performance: The show• opened with the title track from• his newest album: Boyfriend (is

that what the cd is called?) The• screaming from the pre-teens

and cougars makes the first 30minutes of the show inaudible,which was “totally fine with us,”say all the dads. The set list included never before heard Justin Bieber songs that all the 13year old girls inexplicably know

wo iDr’T e•••.•..••.•• •••.

• all the words to, which is not• terrifying at all. The songs even• included a cover of “Yesterday”

by The Beatles, which was• described by all the fans there• as “the best song ever! Who are• The Beatles, and why can’t they• just leave Justin alone?!” The• concert closed with the smash

hit “Baby” featuring anappearance by none otherthan Ludacris himself! Canwe all just take a quick moment to mourn the loss ofLuda as a rapper? The manhas 3 Grammys and is stillon tracks with Bieber andJesse McCartney. I knowall his lyrics in both of thosesongs. I’m not ashamed.The concert also featuredno less than 5 ten minute

dance breaks. We get it Biebs,you can dance, stop rubbing itin our faces. Some people thinkmy robot dance moves are pretty great too, so, there’s that.

Highlights: Special guest appearance by at least one of WillSmith’s kids! Likely just Jayden;Willow lost all appeal when sheshaved her head. She was literally only famous for one thing:whipping her hair back andforth. What could she possiblydo on stage now? Stand thereand make us all uncomfortablewith her weird hairless head?No thank you. Also, Jaydenactually raps on Never Say Nev

• er, so that makes more sense.• I also know all those words. I

: might have a problem you guys.

. Overall Grade: B+ (This grade

: literally means nothing).

ii•• ••••••S••••••

& November 21st, Justin •

Bieber hit the stage atthe Palace of Auburn Hills. For

a•

•

•

•

•

•

•

The Ocheje Melee:

Classes were ending, exam prep was in full force, and everyonethought they had made it through the semester with no scratches, and then, all hell broke loose for first years. On November28, 2012, Professor Ocheje announced to his first year property class that their exam would consist entirely of True or Falsequestions leading to, what this writer is referring to as, “The True/False Freakout of 2012.”

Students immediately turned to Facebook to express their outrage, likely out of fear that showing any kind of emotion in Ocheje’s class results in being yelled at.

Many students have claimed they’re going to take a “damn theman” approach and get everyone to answer false to all questions, assuring everyone gets a B. Watch out I Ls, that plan isgreat in theory, but that guy sifting behind you in class has beenstudying since August, and honestly, not one of you can be trusted. There goes your B curve.

When reached for comment, Ocheje had nothing to say for himself other than, “How do you know where I live? Get off my lawnor I’m calling the cops!”

As someone who has written Ocheje hypos before, consider thisa Christmas gift from him. Or Hannukah, or Kwanzaa, or whatever it is everyone celebrates. Deep breaths guys, you’re going tobe airight.

Good luck!

J 1

SAID No LAw STUDENT EVERI’m quite content to still be hunting for the right • Please tell me more about your opinions on

summer/articling job. The right “fit” is my only (insert hot button topic) and how you think youpriority, can solve the problem by repeated Facebook

status updates.• Of course I d rather be in Sweaty Leddybuffing up on JR than at the Loop.. .with all my • No, I don’t need a break. Please continue

friends.., your lengthy discussion that is nowhere nearrelated to our course.

• I love the law school B curve. It motivates meto work for the A. • I don’t go to meetings in the moot just for the

free food.• Long hours, late nights, and working on theweekends — that’s my dream job. • I like that our classrooms don’t have windows. I• Do they offer A2J for upper years?

2012 13

Dear Sensible Sarah,Last year’) spent the year in niy basement aparttnent stuclying. ‘1 tiidn’r havefaceboo, antion therare occasion ‘1 would goftr a brew at3immy ‘s.‘)Towever, this year, ‘1 tion’t know what happened:‘2 ,get black out wasted every wee1end: start yelTingtings li&, “BABY RPSXRLLLLL”, show upat the njppers with clicls drawn allover myface, antioften entiuppant-less in my betion ‘FrIdy morníns with no iclea how ‘)got there. ‘)am afraiclthIsthis WI11reflectpoorly on my law career as ‘)tion’tknow how to stop mysef What d ‘1 clo?Signed:

S §Ilinan.

Dear Sensible Sarah,With Movember Infrll swing, ‘)havefouncl that ‘1am Inortiinately attracteclto men with mustaches.‘3 tion’t unclerstanti it, ‘3 am a straight guy, but thesight of ¶7tlex Little ancl’Matt ‘Mccarthy with thosebeautful man clustersjust rnales me go wilti ‘2 &rn’t

1now f’) can contain myself much longer, anti’)clon’t want to make a complete ass ofmysef the nexttime’) see them. What shoulti’) &?Sincerely,

‘B ‘Mayes.

4%

Dear Sensible Sarah,‘)went to the cross-Professional‘Iight antiwenthome with what’) thought was a babe ofa nursingstutient but It turneti out she was aprostitute! Shetiemantid$600 lmcs the next morning anti threateneti to go to thepolice f’) clitin’tpay her. oh yeah,anti’) thing ‘2 may have contractetigonahepasyyhlaIcls. What tio’) do?

Signed:Law i who makes extremely badchoices.

i

1’I 2072 1

FASHHH1 ...W/TFMO

_______

FOR THIS I thought I would do something a little more relevant than generic fashionE D I T I 0 N advice. And what better way to do this than interview some of WindsorLaw’s most fashionable JD candidates? So, for your viewing and reading please, I present twostudents whose styles is streets ahead.

Name: Scott Robson

Year of Law School: Law II

Hometown: Edmonton, Alberta

Describe your fashion style: Well I really wish I could describe my style asbeing influenced by something awesome like “Parisian Street fashion, yada,yada, yada,” but that would certainly be a lie. I guess if I had to describe mystyle, it is best captured by the phrase “patched together copycat.” If I see acool dude rockin a really wicked greaser look, or some other guy wearing asolid cable knit sweater, I just do my best to copy it and put it all together.

Where does most of your clothing come from: Places I typically shop are Urban Outfitters, The Bay,H&M, Tommy Hilfiger, J Crew and a few local Edmonton shops.

How do you make decisions about what to buy: Except for dress clothes and shoes, I think I buy 98%of my stuff off of the sale rack. Most of the shirts I wear everyday I got for around 20 bucks, so priceplays a big role in what I buy. Beyond that, I often just gravitate towards something that has character. I can’t really say what that means, but if it just seems like it has a different pattern or color fromall of the other stuff on the rack, I usually pick it up. The other thing that drives a large number ofmy purchases is warmth. I am definitely a big fan of having a solid selection of classic sweaters, youknow, the kind of sweaters that seem like someone really old knit them. Those never go out of style.

Name: Katelyn Echlin-Scorer

___________

Year of Law School: 1 I IHometown: Whitby, Ontario

Describe your fashion style: Classy casual

Where does most of your clothing come from: I like clothing from Madewellbut I can’t afford much of it. I shop everywhere and I borrow a lot of mywife’s clothing (one of the many benefits of being in a same sex relationship). I get clothing from H & M, J Crew, Forever 21, Value Village, thriftstores..you name it!

How do you make decisions about what to buy: It’s hard to describe mydecision process. I have a unique style that is rather gender-neutral. I addmy own flare of femininity to it. I can easily go from the women’s section to the mens section and findthings to wear. I first consider whether the price is reasonable. I’m a law student, so budget is prettyimportant. If it looks classy and casual at the same time, it’s golden. As a vegan I don’t buy leather orfur I try to support clothing that is ethica11, made I like ersatflity and clothing that can go from dayto night with a slight alteration rather than an entire wardrobe change.

Biggest fashion regret Having it take me 24 ‘,ears to be considered fashionable

2012 fiS4.t 1

Author’s biggest fashion regret:owning orange cargo pants inthe 9th grade. Worse than that,

I would wear them multipletimes a week.

15

Can you hear the rumblings? No,it’s not the mysterious ‘brownnoise’ emanating from across theriver in Sandwich; it’s the soundof a growing demand. Studentsat Windsor Law are calling outcollectively to the university;“Charge us more, please!”

Windsor Law was once reviledfor having the thriftiest tuitionaround. The greater university has been listening and hascome to the rescue of law students. “Students simply want topay more, if they don’t then whydo they accept yearly increases?” The problem? 1L studentsare being unfairly privileged because their tuition can be raisedby 8% per year, while the rest ofus already in law school are onlyhaving our tuition rise 4% per annum; where is the justice?

After careful investigation, it wasdiscovered that it was the province who handcuffed the universities from raising tuition the waystudents expect. “Students wantto pay for high-quality education,and we here at the University ofWindsor are working our best tomake sure that when studentslook at their statement of accounts, they know they are payingtop dollar’

When askedwhether or notstudents couldexpect any improvements onthe quality ofeducation, the

office of the Vice-President, Planning and Administration replied“Hell no, we here at the university know what students expect.

technology we listened to whatthey really want’ Students werenotably excited when they weretold about fewer opportunitiesat Community Legal Aid and thatMediation Services was beingeliminated entirely. “Studentsdon’t really want these opportunities; we are supporting studentswith their anxieties in both theclassroom and in relation to theircareers. With fewer options, students don’t have to worry aboutchoices, students hate choices.Why do you think they streamlined the daily Subway deal?”

Students have responded well tothese latest developments. “Thereis a comfort in knowing that you

are paying $600 more per year forfewer services than your futurecolleagues , you know it’s good”said Amanda Knox. The feeling isreflected by Jeremy Brown a 1Land member of the Class of 2015,“I’m actually embarrassed for 3Lstudents graduating this year, Imean this year they are going topay $13,500 as base tuition, whenI’m in 3L I’m going to be paying

$16,000, it’s almost like I’m going to the University of Toronto!”

This movement is not something that’s been accomplishedovernight. Only 10 years ago,tuition was at half the rate it istoday. However, like all advances, the progress made over thelast decade is under threat. TheQuebec Student protests of 2011and 2012 show that progress intuition can be reversed.

When asked about whether hecould imagine returning to the

or time when a student line of credit was unnecessary; 2L studentRob Smith spat on the ground andsaid “I don’t want my law degreeto appear on the value menu atMcDonalds, I came to this schoolto pay out my ass, and that’s whatI expect to see when I look at mydebt” While it may be too late forRob to pay what his successorswill in the coming years, he sleepswell at night knowing that everyyear we are reaching closer andcloser to that dream where Accessto Justice is truly a luxury brand.

Access to Luxury and theFightfor Higher Tuition[By: Thomas Turcotte]

YOU ePM1E ITYOu ENJOY IT

Too many choices!

Instead of adding services

.1) 2c12 1

Dust That Pencil Off & Use itAva Moradi

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3 Law 3 who drives to Toronto everyThu rsday, without fail

9 What do you call a lawyer who doesn’tchase ambulances?

13 Vast number of stalls in girrswashroom

14 Name of law library15 Number of pop machines in law school16 Gun look-alike18 Co. known for breasts and legs19 Home of the fish bowl24 Liquid courage for law students27 The other side of the river28 Professor whose hair looks like

Whoppi Goldberg29 Unnoticed closure of this student legal

clinic30 Life may be spent here31 Professor game host for Dollars for

Rules”32 Office in the back of SLS

Down1 Name of law school café2 Seize for ransom4 Only law student in Nunavut5 Teen Saga that came to an end this

year, finally6 Macdonald’s freebie7 New dean’s first name8 Online law website with pre-made Memo

feature10 Ethnic student club with only 3 members11 Newest printing feature at law library12 Short-sleeve suit aficionado17 Pursuit in a lawsuit20 Reason for Li late Memo submissions21 Student species that infest law school

during exam season22 Stash’iest month of the year23 Judge’s knob25 Law School Halloween party hosted

annually at this venue26 Funds raised for this school supply by

social event

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172C12 1

Have you ever

HARPER VWeU now you can indulgeyour deepest Freudian,“ld”-ean desires in anarticle that will get yourheart racing more than E.L.James and R.L. Stein’slove-child ever could.That’s right, the anticipationof Trudeau and Brazeauwill have nothing on thisSt. Pierre vs Silva-esquefight that will leave oneside more embarrassedthan the 2506 Brigade ever did (That’s the Bay ofPigs fiasco, for those of you too lazy to pick up ahistory book).

Annnd now, ladies and gentlemen, the momentyou’ve been waiting for...

In the left corner, measuring 6’2”, and weighingin at a lean I 92lbs we have Stephan Harper, the‘former’ Alberta separatist who can be creditedon the advent of the new millennium with thestatement: “Canada appears content to becomea second-tier socialistic country, boasting evermore loudly about its economy and social services to mask its second-rate status...” A roundof applause for our Reigning Dict-err... currentPresid. . .uh, Prime Minister Mr. Harper!

In the right corner, we have newcomer ThomasMulcair, measuring 6’l”, and weighing in at aslightly beefier 2141bs. Mulcair, a relatively ‘unknown-till-recently-turned-Prime-Minister-in-Waiting’, has been criticized by Premiers and current!former leaders across the nation alike, beingreferred to as producing ideas that are “facile...and devise” by Saskatchewan Premier Brad Wall,“goofy... [and] gobbledygook” by B.C. PremierChristy Clark, and simply “doesn’t make sense”by Jim Flaherty, Welcome Mr. Mulcair!

And here are the ring girls, Minister of LabourLisa Raitt for the PC — wait, is that the best theycould do? - and NDP MP Niki Ashton, waving tothe camera much better - and... fight!

Looks like

M U LCAIR :rc°jabbing, left,

left, left, left, right — ohhhhand he gets Mulcair goodwith a snide remark aboutMulcair’s flight to Alberta’sNDP convention using jetfuel produced by the very“Sydney tar-ponds” he soadores. Mulcair’s on thedefensive off the get go butcounters with the point thatHarper’s cancelled moreenvironmental reviewsthan Ron Paul, Rick Perry

and Michelle Bachmann would have combined!Oh and it looks like Mulcair’s drawn first blood!What a surprise that Mulcair took the high roadand didn’t mention the irony in Harper lambasting someone else on the topic of jets... Harperripostes with the criticism that Mulcair drew fromhis own Ed Broadbent earlier in March that 90%of the NDP MPs who served with Mulcair backedother candidates in the election — that has GOTto hurt!

Both fighters are starting to look a bit worn outnow, but Harper is keeping up the pressure here,staying on the offensive. And another jab byHarper at Mulcair for his Dutc—er, “foot-in-mouth”disease in wanting to reject the Nexen mergerwith CNOOC, thanking Mulcair for setting him upperfectly to claim in front of the Tanzanian President that the NDP is “ideologically.., opposedto all investments”. And Mulcair is down! Can herecover? But look! He’s not out! Mulcair comingout of nowhere with the surprise June Abacus pollstatistic that only 34% of Canadians approvedof the Harper government - that’s worse thanLyndon Johnson’s rating during the Vietnam war!That right hook came out of nowhere and seemsto have sent Harper reeling. With both fighters onthe ropes, it seems like this is one for the judges— so, who won?

Stay tuned, after these messages.

wanted to seetwo politiciansduke it out?

1 I8 2012 1

[By Paul Voinea]

—

___

Coming up with (and sticking with> an exercise and meal plan can be a daunting task. This guide haqbeen prepared to take the guessing out of your work out! a

1. The law school has stairs that we walk up and down every day (sometimes multiple timesa day). Consider that your daily cardlo. If you find yourself going up and down the stairsfrequently throughout the day, treat yourself with a baconator. You’ve earned it.

2. Figuring out what to eat is easiest if you’re perpetually in a bulking phase. Food, get at/in

3. But, bulking isn’t for everyone. Looking to slim down? Try Kalteen bars. First, you’ll bloat,then you’ll immediately drop 10 pounds. The bars burn up all your carbs, and then your bodyruns just on water, then, once the water is gone, you’ll be pure lean muscle.

4. Staying motivated is tough. Recruit a buddy to workout with. Then you never need to worry about having someone to get froyo with as a reward for hitting the gym. (By the way, I amalways down for froyo. Seriously).

5. Don’t know what to do at the gym? You’re not alone. Try looking at YouTube for pointerson technique and form. People will be so impressed with all of your knowledge they will thinkthat you were born in a gym. Once you’ve impressed people, ease off. After you’ve won theapproval of strangers, is there anything left to do at the gym? The answer is no.

JDONT PUSH IT

IIIII

me.

II

II1

aII

III

LPITNESS 5 HARD SO

II

_ _ _ _ _

— — — — — — — — — — — — —

2C12

I — — — — — — —

World War Z:Let’s put comedy to rest for a second and get serious. I’ve had asmall list of large disappointmentsin my life: Not getting asked to thegrade 9 non-denominational holiday dance, getting rejected fromLaw School my first round, and thepreview for “World War Z.” Thispreview pukes all over the book’sunreal ability to create a brutallyrealistic view on what the worldmight be like after a zombie apocalypse. Seems like Brad Pitt wasjealous of Tom Cruise in “War ofthe Worlds” and decided to takehis own classic.., and barf all over

it. To everyone who’s read it (andif you haven’t, you should) thezombies move fast... FAST ZOMBIES? Ugh... what’s the point?

The Heat:Vay, they made “Miss Congeniality” part 3 with the funny chickwho was in all those summer chickflicks that they tried to pass off ascomedies (Re: Bridesmaids). Ihave to applaud them for puttingladies in a leading role of a moviethat doesn’t seem to have a lovestory present. See it with your

Lincoln:To be clear, this is not a vampiremovie. Don’t say I didn’t warnyou. If it’s anything like “BoreHorse,” it will likely be a struggle tostay awake while watching it, butyou’ll feel inclined to tell everyoneyou know about how amazing thestoryline was, and how the actorswere stunning. You’ll likely evenfeel the need to tell people “DanielDay Lewis does an amaaaazingLincoln,” because you can tell.

Life of Pi:This trailer blindsided me as aten minute ‘short’ before “Prometheus.” I spent the later 9 and ahalf minutes checking with everyone around me that I was in thecorrect theater. It was a biggersnooze than that 10 minute DarkKnight bologna they made mesuffer through before “Mission Impossible 4.” Evoked feeling? I feellike... I never wanna go fishing.

The Great Gatsby:If you haven’t seen this one yet,you probably haven’t been on theinternet in 6 months. The previewitself is super entertaining. Thisremake not only seems visuallystunning while blasting a wonderful JayZ and Kanye beat, but it alsohas, for the first time since “Titanic,” Leonardo DiCaprio smiling...unless we are counting the grossteeth one in Django Unchained.”

LINDSAY-T’SMoviE REviEws

Movie reviews are a wonderful thing. Reviewers provide

you with the ability to ensure that your hard earned dollars

are not wasted on a shockingly terrible movie (or 2 hours

wasted on lceFilms for the rest of you).

______________________________________________

Unfortunately The OYEZ doesn’t yet have the credibility

to get a reviewer to prescreen films for you, but they are

fortunate enough to have me, Both my movie-going and movie-marketing experience has landed me the ability to

somewhat accurately criticize a movie based simply on its previews which are luckily, quite accessible to me. I give

you my thumbless reviews.

D WAR

20

mom.

The Last Stand:Thanks, Hollywood.

2L) 2012 1

j

Harvard, Yale, the University ofDetroit Mercy and many otherelite legal institutions of the UnitedStates continue to do the unthinkable — replacing “letter grades” withvariations of “pass/fail.” Originallyenthralled at the idea of sleepingthrough 8:30 classes, the more Ithink about this concept, the moredisgusted I become.

The crux of this issue is a very simplequestion, “What would law schoolbecome without students killingeach other for marginal gains on acomputer manufactured gradingscale?” Just the thought of deprivingincoming first-years of the experience of despising ‘gunners’, sabotaging classmates, and hoarding CANSobtained through the “hard work”of achieving popularity and socialconnections, causes me a great dealof concern. If this happens I mayhave to start going out of my way topick up the extra tab or two.

I cannot be alone in the desire tomaintain this tradition, so I soughtout positive re-enforcement of mybeliefs. Google directed me to manyblogs praising this shift away fromassigning arbitrary grades to suit afaculty-mandated “curve.” If I vomited on the screen it would havebeen less offensive than the rubbishI encountered.

SCHO1ARS IN RESIDENCE

“Why purposefully assign studentsa “B”, for what often may be a classfull of “A”-merit work;” — Obvious

ly, all of us here at Windsor Lawproduce nothing but “K work.

“Students gain a greater appreciation for the subject when enjoying

the learning process, not crammingfor a final” — HA!

“Removing grades fosters a senseof teamwork; it reduces the typical

law student’s predisposition to compete.” — Exactly, that’s what bothers

me.

Reducing the need to compete? Ifind this troubling... Competition iswhat makes society perceive lawyers in such a positive manner, likedoctors... or used car salesmen.

Further exploration of this issue failed to yield even a modestagreement with my original beliefs.Why should we move away fromletter grades? Will society beginhanding out “participant” medals in the 2014 Olympics? Couldyou imagine the deleterious effectthis change would have? The OCTprocess would be based uponinterpersonal skills and the contentof the resume, not GPA! No, no,no. Students need to take a stand.Otherwise, we might seek law officeor clinical experiences to set usapart. A scientific poll of 8 of myclosest friends proves that law stu

dents prefer memorizing secondarysources, such as Hogg’s views onCanadian division of powers underthe Constitution Act of 1867.

Truthfully, even the thought ofthis “utopian” education setting isunsettling, and makes me yearnfor stories of the old days whenstudents use to hide textbooks inthe library and have their parentswho are lawyers “proof read” theiressays. I’m sure the professors mustshare my opinion. “Just because wehave been giving out grades since Ibegan teaching 50 years ago doesn’tmake it the right thing to do. It’sjust another way the establishmentis out to get students, sounds likethe Charter is responsible for this...Students learn best when they wantto.” -Prof. L. Wilson.

Are you kidding? Curiosity never led to greater knowledge gainscompared to competition. Haveyou ever seen Hunger Games? Lawschool class ranking is the intellectual equivalent. What’s next? Lawschools will argue they aren’t responsible for training law studentsto be good lawyers? Insanity.

Thankfully Canadian law schoolsremain “tough on grades” and won’tbe going “soft” anytime soon. Ohwait.., “that school” 4 hours east onthe 401, has already instituted thepass/fail scheme,

2C12 1

7 THE LAW SCHOOL WAY:I1’ WHY PASS/FAIL WOULD BE

UNCONSCIONABLEBY: JAYME [ES PERANCE AND CHRISTOPHER MARSHALL

21

23- Oc’T’. 22)

TiWns our)hat you have anInn4!te dfre tp connect 50 lookIngJor a suitable lIfepartner is yournum6eronepriority. 1-ley, othersigns, take note, Libra’s are VTF.)

Scciwpo (Ocr. 23- Irv. 21)

Ooio..?Amy ¶BIsset is a Scorpioh4 4plains a tt. Like LO’T

S4çn?bb1s (‘J’fov. 22- ‘DEC. 21)

‘}ley! 1pur birthday month!Cdj%tuTJ&Ions! 7tctually, nevern(J’is month sucks. Sorryfrryou but this cold: slushy, examstress time must mean you’re destinetito 6e an asshole. You’rejustgoing to have to dealwith it.

C.PR’Ico’1 (‘DEC. 22- 3vW iq)

Y8°Y’ didyou dealwith thatotto,- yet? ¶J”fi,? Welt; urn, invest insome d&rant. You are serIously stillstinking up every class.oh and; like, you’ll then get morefriends ands on your exams.Yeah, right, sure you will

Aqjáius (7eo- ‘F. iS)qf’j wer au cu1rius, what would1 . ,.wellq woildgo make outwith a eminia thatparty thatsomeone wfflInevttabry holdforalt the suckers that are stuck atthe schoolat the endofthe examperiod T’herefore, ‘ipretfIct someserious lovin’ between you andthe oh so brililant erninIs at theparty. §love befrre love, c4quarius.glove before love.

P’1SCES 19- 20)

‘1 (‘ooketttp Pisces traits and thisis what came tip: “‘Usually Piscescares littlefrr making money butcares about Ideals and apIrations

22 2012 1

pisces lifes to dream, he is notIn*residin competitIon. Pisces

-

is qra-u*n to the arts, especially thestdge. 1i5ces can 6e moody andvague, Ptsces is often thefriem{ofthe under-dog. Pisces may have

many marriages” Clearly you

needto change careers orfocus

infamily law so you can manage

your own divorces. 3ust sayIn.

ii’is (Mzt. 21 -4R. 19)

‘i was going to give you afreepassthis month because ‘1 thoughtyour sign was a lion, but nope, it’sa ram. Way lame-er. 7t(so, /1rIesindIvic{uals are sometimes called;“9trians” which clearlij means

Twus (tPR. 20- 20)

‘1 lookedup images of the “PordT’aurus” car andwow, that’s onehell ofa boring looking vehicle.Clearly that liulicates that3ouare one hellof a borIng indIvidual

Stop talking, everyone involvetlInthat conversation in the lowerpitdoesn’t care, It is a “had to be therestory” andthey are allwIshingthey were hanging out with someone else. Like seriously. Stop. ‘i”Iow

(‘MY 21- 3’u?.L 20)

there hot stuff how’s it

ol ? §od? What’s that? ‘Feelina t4ç GJnely? Yeah, welt; don’tworry, everyone loves you. (oh anhere’s my number: 551-4132, socallme maybe... .you sexy beast.)

C1çt Jwf.21-3uc. 22)

Your sign is synonymous with a&ad1j dIsease. ¶1 don’t have to sayanything else.

Lw (gzic. 23- ¶A’w. 22)

1-IT’! You’re the lion! ok, ‘i

intfa thg lions. i think it’s themane §oftndyourse€f a §eminIandchristen the SLS office. ohwait, Shae ‘Kavanagh anti9taronCampbell already cCitt that? welt;‘1 know you won’t be the first, butit’11 be daring anc(frn. (gust don’t

forget to sign the undersIde of thetable so that it is memorialized

forever.., boo yeah!)

Vo (4u. 23- SIPT’. 22)

VIrgo 1s an ‘Farth Sijn, which apjfSirfjnt( is supposeclto indicate apractcfnature. Like really? T’heearth isn’tpractical at all1 Likelook at hurricane Sandy! You area whirlwindofciisaster,faIr Virgo,sojust ro IIwith It. Perhaps trystreaking through the law library(with one of the new mugs, hey,it’llbe a great attvertIsement, toget it out ofyour system.

YlfS’--=

you’re a racist.yerson whoperiodically engages in wildone nightstands anti revuesperforming artCheetahs (and/or) Vanny’s.

I

IL

4