Keep it professional, Managing friends and relatives at work place
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Transcript of Keep it professional, Managing friends and relatives at work place
Keep it Professional
Managing Relations- friends and relatives-
when you work with people you’re close to
Manage Friends and Family Members
In this session, I would like to look at how tricky it can be to manage friends and family members, and how
you can overcome these difficulties
Leading a Team of Equals
And find out, how to get things done when you lead a team of equals
So this session is about..
Managing Friends and Family Members Balancing Personal Relationships at Work
Let me begin it as a story
Elizabeth works in the family business with her older brother, Dave
Elizabeth and Dave
The problem is that, due to a change in the structure of the company, Elizabeth is now Dave's boss, and he
doesn't respond well to her authority.
For Example
Dave often turns up late, he brings up past family conflicts, and he expects special treatment.
Dave being her brother
Elizabeth would have disciplined - or even fired - anyone else over these issues. But, because he's her
brother, she's reluctant to take action, even though she knows that the rest of the team resent Dave's behavior
Friends and Family Members at work place
It can be difficult to work alongside close friends and relatives. We'll see the challenges that can occur when
you manage friends and family members, and we'll look at how you can deal with them more effectively
Common Issues
A number of issues can affect your ability to work successfully with friends and family.
Being rational, fair and objective
Unlike the relationships you have with other team members, the bonds you share with these people are intensely personal. Childhood history, past conflicts, or current issues in your personal life can affect your interactions at work. This can make it difficult to be
rational, fair, and objective, as can the desire to preserve good friendships and family relationships
Familiarity breeds
You might be tempted to change your management style and provide either too much guidance, or
insufficient feedback on poor performance. Familiarity with these people can also cause you to discount their ideas quickly, or to be more critical of them than you
would be with other team [email protected]
Favouritism blocking career growth
On the other hand, favouritism is a risk with friends and family: it can cause conflict and low morale in the
rest of your team, and it can harm your reputation, especially if you hand out choice assignments to these people. You may also find that exceptional employees leave your team, because they think that their career
progression is blocked
While discussing it with outsiders
You can also alienate and annoy your team members if you make decisions or discuss work issues with
friends or family members outside of work (whether this is intentional or not)
Family business
If you work in a family business, some relatives might have been "expected" to work in the company. It can be a challenge to motivate and manage them, especially if they aren't passionate about the work, or if they have
different goals and values from those of the organization
Strategies for Managing Friends and Family
Use the strategies below to keep the relationship professional when you manage friends and family
Think Carefully Before You Hire
Before you hire friends or family members, think carefully about why you're considering them for the
role. Do they have the knowledge, skills, and talent to work
well in this position, or are you just doing them a favor?
Hire the Best always
Never hire someone you know unless you feel confident that they're the best candidate, that they embrace the culture and values of the business, and
that they can bring valuable skills and expertise to the team.
Use standardised recruitment tools
If you feel unsure, use recruitment tools such as competency-based interviewing, inbox/in-tray
assessments, or test assignments to gauge how these people will perform on the job
No misfits fitted in
Careful consideration at this early stage helps you avoid conflict in the relationship later, and you can
ensure that these people are a good fit in your team
Remove Yourself technique
Unless this is a family business, it's best to remove yourself - and any other friends and family - from the decision-making process when you think about hiring
someone that you know well.
The onus
That way, you will avoid accusations of nepotism, and you won't look unprofessional if the recruitment turns
out badly. (Even in a family business, it may be best for trusted non-family people to advise on the
decision.)
Define the role
No matter how close you are to your friends and family members, you need to treat them like any
other team member. This means that you must define their role, and
communicate what you expect from them
Job description and Performance objectives
Write a job description that outlines their responsibilities, your expectations, and their
performance objectives
SMART goals
Next, review the agreement with them, and identify and agree on short- and long-term SMART goals. Make sure that they understand these goals and
expectations, and ask whether they have any questions or concerns.
Honest communication
This prevents ambiguity, and sets the tone for the relationship. Clear, honest communication like this
also helps you avoid issues later on
Set Boundaries
Your friends and family members know you better than anyone else at work, and they are privy to
personal information that you might not want your team members to know. This is why it's important to
set and manage boundaries
Open Conversation
Have an open, honest conversation about how you want your professional relationship to be. This means
that you must set protocols for behavior and communication
Office manners
For example, if you work with your friend, ask her not to call you by your nickname. She should use your first
name, just like the rest of your team
Official matters/ Personal matters
Both of you should agree to leave personal matters and history at the door when you come to work. You should also agree not to discuss work issues outside
the office - this ensures that you don't cut other team members out of important decisions
Keep things professional
Of course, this is easier said than done, especially with family members. Speak up if you feel that your
friends or family members have violated the boundaries that you've set, and remind them to keep
things professional.
All equal
If you experience conflict with friends and family members, do your best to manage your emotions and
stay professional. Try to ignore your personal relationships, and approach them like any other team member
Compensate Fairly
It's important that you compensate your friends and family members fairly. Their salary and benefits
should reflect their knowledge, skills, and experience, not their connection with you
Manage Friends and Family Members
When you set salary and benefits, it's a good idea to consult a colleague or HR professional to make sure that compensation is fair and competitive. This will also ease
tensions, and prevent any suspicions that friends or family members are getting more than they deserve
Never Overcompensate
Also, be careful not to overcompensate them with resources such as people, equipment, technology, or
training. Make sure that your friends and family members receive the same as everyone else, and
nothing more
Provide Regular Feedback
Like everyone on your team, your friends and family members need regular, constructive feedback, so that they understand what they're doing well, and where
they need to improve
Balancing Emotions
You might find it difficult to be objective with these people. Do your best to keep emotions out of the
discussion, and analyze their performance and growth as you would anyone else. Use the proper Feedback
tools to provide clear and specific feedback.
Face Facts
Of course, positive feedback is always easy to give. But how do you handle friends or family members
who aren't pulling their weight? And how do you fire someone that you care about? These can be
uncomfortable situations, but you need to address them promptly and professionally
Dealing with non-productive aspects
Sit down and talk to them one-on-one. Diagnose the problems they face. Talk to them in a cordial manner
to bring out the solutions they can adjust with naturally
Reach outRender help
Ask what you can do to help them perform better and meet their goals. They might benefit from additional training; and they may also flourish in a mentoring or
coaching relationship with another professional
In line with organisational
policiesGive them as much time to improve as you would to
anyone else on your team. If you don't notice any progress, manage them appropriately in line with
your organisation's guidelines.
Productive relationships
It can be painful to let go of friends and family members, but if the relationship isn't working out, then you should find someone who is a better fit
Be Honest With Your Team
Everyone on your team should know if you have a personal connection with someone who works for you
Be clear
Be open and honest about your ties to these people. It's likely that some team members might have
reservations about the situation and about your ability to treat your friends or family members
objectively.
Genuine interest in
people
Your actions need to prove that you will treat them just like everyone else - this will build trust and help
everyone adjust to the situation
Craft a Role That Works
If you work in a family business, you might have to manage some family members who don't want to be there. They might have been pressured to work in the organisation by parents or other leaders, they might
see it as an easy option, or they might work there out of a sense of obligation.
None of these is a positive reason to come to work each day
Manage Friends and Family Members
As with any employee with motivational issues, re-engage them by finding out their career goals. What
do they want to achieve in life? How can you help them build the skills and expertise they need to meet
their goals?
Mentoring, Training
Look at training and mentoring opportunities that will help them progress down this path, while still using
these new skills in their current role
Happytasks
Next, look at their tasks and responsibilities. Which tasks make them happy? When do they achieve a
sense of flow in their work?
Job-crafting
Where appropriate, use job-crafting strategies to work more of these tasks into their day (but ensure that
you don't do this at the expense of other team members)
Sense of accomplishment
Last, make sure that your friends and family members feel a sense of accomplishment in their role. Help
them find the deeper meaning in their work, and help them achieve small wins, so that they can recognise
the progress they make
Make them move on
However, if these strategies don't work, you'll probably want to encourage them to move on - you
don't want unmotivated people on your team
Key Points
It can be a challenge to manage friends and family members. These people have a close, personal
relationship with you, and their presence within a team can cause conflict, tension, and mistrust if you
don't manage the relationship with care
Performance agreement
When you manage friends or family members, treat them as you would everyone else on your team. Write a performance agreement that outlines their role and
your expectations clearly.
Working relationship
Set boundaries, and define how your working relationship should be; this includes protocols for
behavior
Ensure objectivity
Also, compensate them fairly. Where appropriate, work with a colleague to ensure objectivity when you
set their pay and benefits
A Final Note
Personal history doesn't have to stand in the way of a strong professional relationship. Likewise, a "junior"
position in a family doesn't mean that you can't be an effective leader
Candid relations
Set clear boundaries and expectations, offer support,
and, above all, be honest about difficulties that are holding people back