Journal Pau

8/8/2019 Journal Pau

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PAULINE DAYAO

12-21-2010


2/24

BUFFER

Examining the white sand,I noticed a set of two marks

I went on foot and glanced one more time

And discovered a sole uncoupled one.

When I was fragile and helpless,

I felt I was left alone I tread on the heels of the certainStill, more tempests came all around.

I held back and pondered for a moment,

Why am I still on my feet?

During my most torturous adversities

Two majestic arms became my shield.


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4/24

FALLING

Sitting peerless in that old rocking chair,

Is a helpless fainting soul

His two old palms embracing those painted

memories

Blurry eyes more blinded with tears.

Gazing intently on the weathered alley,

Biding his last hours for them to arrive

All thats in there is a shadowy empty space

But he is still hoping until the blue hour.

At last, he heard a sweet familiar sound,

But his eyes are weary, his knees are spineless

He then breathed his last

That moment when ang pasko ay sumapit


5/24

Let your tongue be guided

Make your lips judicious

Be watchful with your words.


6/24

I love

Amiable

Seashore

Sunset


7/24

Midst of wilderness

Searching for any clear sign

Found out nothing there.


8/24

In no mans land,

Weeps a lone, tormented soul

Longing for refuge


9/24

BLIND

Sightless, ignorant

Wondering, wandering, unnoticingUnborn, Oedipus, old, Terisias

Understanding, settling, perceiving

Sighted, knowledgeable

SEEING


10/24

NOSTALGIA

Youre a corpse on my backyards groundThe ghost that haunts my house

The raven watching me.Youre here in the darkness of the dayI feel you lifeless cold touchYoure my nightmare on a dreadful nightYoure a rotten tokenRemembrance of those daysYoure my nostalgia.


11/24

Just like a small wound

Easy to be held it seems

At the beginning

Later leads to

Other unpleasant feeling

Unstoppable fire consuming

Sweetness vanishing

Youre diamond is now a useless pebble.


12/24

THE PRICE

First like a heavy cross

Then a rock thrown that hurts

Now a precious treasure and a crown


13/24

HIDING

Complete camouflage

Blinding mask

Duplicated

Two-faced appearanceConcealed

Unrecognized truth

Black veil

Deceiving cover

Thick curtain

False outer layerFaked

All imitation


14/24

MOONLESS NIGHT

Heavy blinks

Bowing head

Peeping on the gray mirror

Drowsy

Almost snoring

Hands began to let go

Hes losing control

Beepbeepbeeeeep

Deafening warning

Ears are just so lazy to hear it

Eyes are so weary to open

Closecloser

The roads just about to end

Shaking, shouting, crying

til theres a loud crash

Sirens cryingRed light dancing

Illuminating the dark

Revealing the horrible happening

Putrid smell

Stiff, cold figure

It read, Pier RoxasOn that red-stained paper.


15/24

Intruders

Hell lost all at the end

He who stores selfishlyHe who took all instead

And left nothing for the hungry.

Hes choking himself to death

He who breaks bread unlike the bird

He who doesnt leave something on the eating standAnd throws all in his completely piggish mouth.

Humiliation and demise to al lewd man

Who only craves for the transient heat

and scandalous pleasure of flesh

He who doesnt have a heart for tendernessHe who have no affection that rejuvenates.


16/24

Malevolence is feasting him up

He who is foul-hearted animal

Who curses a fruitful friend

He who is so possessive.

Death and famine to an idle man

He who waits for another days to

come

He who hopes for fruits on his dish

But never dared to throw seeds on the

ground.

Oedipus anguish to the high-and-

mighty

He who parades with honor and vanity

He who preserves his righteousness

and dignityHe who is so arrogant of his temporary

majesty.

Crown of thorns to the evil

He who wounds a pure soul

He who blows away an innocent man

And breaks his fathers heart


17/24

Company

I belong to no ones neighborhood

Im nobodys close companyI am forlorn, I dwell in solitude

Cheerless, I travel through the sunless way

Battle solely the countless horrors attack

And on sundown, I lay on ice-cold bunk

When the daybreaks, the sun never strikes

Solid clouds show no signs of tomorrow

I utter phrases to no one but myself

No riverbeds can hold my running tears

No one shares the warmth of a smile

And take away my yesterdays fever

And then I catch a glimpse of something by my sideAnd realized that silhouette keeps me in its sight.


18/24

Sixty years have mournfully passed. Its been sixty years when that lady in her

spotless dress stood still in the cracking walls and keeps staring at him straight.

Within those sixty heart-breaking years, it was sheltered with thick dusts. But for

him its unmarked and beautiful every morning. And at night, its a guardian angels

face watching him as he closes his old, brown eyes.

They were in their twenties. Youthful, sweet, affectionate. They became foolish with

each other. Then they decided to become one. And one warm summer day, they

were all gathered and witnessed them as they exchanged vows. They are too lucky

to have each other. Joined as one, fighting for each other. Sharing the whole thing.

Every morning is brand new with a shine in their faces. Their nights are warmerwith a kiss. Cloud nine!


19/24

Suddenly, a merciless tempest came. Rain poured heavily and tore down

their weak, newly-built protection. The uncaring rain went into their frail

windows and doors and soaked everything inside. The upset windsmashed their fragile glasses. The red lightning flamed their backyards.

The deafening booms shook their feeble grounds. She was just so

vulnerable to resist the extreme iciness. Hes trying to help out. But hes

immovable and chilling too. If only he has control of everything, he would

have stopped it before it came to them. But thats so impossible. He cant

take it, watching hes lady in pain and she as well. Theyre both crying for

help but the roaring winds and the raging thunders are mightier, louder

than their failing voices. Rain poured heavier and the wind blew hardly for

the last time. The waters are high and wiped everything. All of it! Even thereason of his completeness. The unfriendly sea captured her.


20/24

Gone forever! Hes left there in that frozen ground sobbing and suffering so much pain

brought by the pitiless storm.

Her blushing cheeks are turning pale. Her cherry-red lips are now brown and her pure

dress is grayer every time. But she will remain young, sweet, and charming. Shell be

the only one in his heart.

Tears rolled as he stares at her perfect smile. He missed her. He loves so much that

woman in that old photograph.


21/24

WHATS THAT SMELL?Pa, whats wrong with our child?Oh, why is he sick?I dont know but he keeps on roaming around. And he keeps complaining.

Really? Did you not ask why?I did. He just said he cant appreciate the cologne of his sister.But thats the most fragrant in our house. I like it.Thats what I thought. He complained that his T-shirt stinks but I justwashed that yesterday.

Is there something wrong with his nose?And she doesnt want the aroma of the adobo Im cooking. Does it smelllike shit?What? No its good. It makes me hungry actually.But he told me that! And he said I farted. I just burped.

W

ell then maybe, he just needs to take a bath.Oh yeah. He didnt go to the shower for almost a week. He smells his own.y! Too bad.

Thats why everything stinks for him. Did you not notice it? You mustcheck him every day. Youre the mom.Sorry Ive forgot.


22/24

Foul is fragrance? Then theres no stench.

Unpleasant is attractive? Then everythings just wonderful.

Black is white? No ones colored, no ones fairer.

War is peace? Then theres no more violence.

Lie is truth? Then therell be no deception.

.and would it be best if hatred is love? Then therell be no more broken hearts.


23/24

For the charming priest I have ever met

My beloved,Hi!

For ten years that I stayed in that holy, boring place, In ever felt the magic of a very warm feeling.

But when I went out and see this real world where I found you,I am bewitched by your princely charm.

I know that in the judging eyes of the holy, my passionate affectionfor you is a trespass against their unequal law. I know!But what can I do?

Im just a weak woman whos very fascinated with a fine,lovable man like you.My love for you is unadulterated and no sacred law can take you away.

Love,nun


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THE PRESENTBeing left forever by the one you love is the most unacceptable thing.

It is like living forever in darkness. It brings complete emptiness for the grieving.It causes those mourning eyes to be clouded more with sheds of tears.

But, death is a gift. God has given it without any charge.It is an end of suffering for those who lived in pain and disappointment.

Death gives a very peaceful rest for the tired and sick.It is the only way and hopes to reach paradise for the souls who were boredin hell.

Finally, it is the sweetest gift that brings too much happiness for ourenemies. It satisfies their hearts and gives peace in their minds.

Through death, no one will bother them.

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