Living Life and Paying for It

Erika Gardiner

ENG 3UI

July 23, 2010

Erika Gadiner

Mr. Kemp

ENG 3UI

July 23, 2010

Living Life and Paying for It

“For you a thousand times over” [Amir] heard [himself] say,” (Hosseini, 323) he

felt Hassan, the most pure person he ever knew, speaking through him. Reformation is

the act of changing what was broken, into something better. In the novel The Kite

Runner, by Khaled Hosseini, two minor but crucial characters, Sanaubar and Soraya,

made similar mistakes in their past that they chose to fix through reformation . The same

way, Amir, after contemplating what Rahim Khan said to him on the phone realized there

was “a way to be good again” (2). The negative choices made by these three characters

impacted their lives greatly. They each set out to fix their own mistakes, and through

reformation were able to become better people. Sanaubar, Soraya and Amir’s examples

show that through reformation everyone can be good again. One mistake can haunt a

person forever and without reformation this mistake will prevent them from being content

with themselves ever again.

At some point in their lives Sanaubar and Soraya run away from their homes, both

for responsibility reasons. Sanaubar, Hassan’s mother, leaves him “less than a week after

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he was born. [He] lost her to a fate most Afghans considered far worse than death: she

ran off with a clan of traveling singers and dancers,” (6). Sanaubar runs from the

responsibilities of having a child. She was young and wanted to have a fun life and not be

tied down by a child. The Afghan people naturally disagree with her choice, and because

of that, talk behind her back. This catches up with later in her life when she realizes that

she should have stayed to mother her new born child. We learn as well that Sanaubar was

disloyal to Ali; Hassan was Baba’s son, not Ali’s. Sanaubar wanted, also, to escape the

guilt she felt every time she looked at her baby. She did not want to live with the guilt of

adultery forever. Soraya makes a similar mistake, but instead runs away to obtain

responsibility as she is tired of her father controlling her. Soraya wanted to be treated like

an adult and felt as though living like one would help her accomplish this. Soraya

explains to Amir, years after she thought she had been fully reformed, that “when [my

family] lived in Virginia, I ran away with an Afghan man. I was eighteen…rebellious…

stupid,” (164). Afterwards, she felt as though a weight was lifted off her shoulders.

Soraya was not married to this man and, like Sanaubar, was talked about between the

Afghan people. Living with a man before marriage is another action Afghan people

greatly disapprove of. Soraya realizes that her family needed her, she was forced to go

back home, but once there she comes to a knowing that this was best for her, as well as

her family. Both women have a burden from the mistake they made and are willing to fix

it. They are both persisting in the past, which prevents them from moving forward in their

lives. The burden they carry is the reason they decide to change.

The consequences that Sanaubar and Soraya experience, as a result of their leaving, are

what push them to want to become better people. There are different consequences each

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woman receives, but each changes their lives dramatically. Sanaubar used to be the most

beautiful and promiscuous girl in all of Kabul. When her regret of leaving Hassan

becomes over-bearing she has turned into a grubby and beat up woman. She feels that

returning to Hassan is the right thing to do, and when she shows up on Hassan’s door step

all anybody sees in her is “…a toothless woman with stringy graying hair and sores on

her arms. She looked like she had not eaten for days…One of the cuts went from the

cheekbone to the hairline and it had not spared her left eye on the way,” (184). The

retribution for committing the worst crime in Afghanistani culture, for Sanaubar, is

having her beauty taken from her. Beauty is the most precious characteristic to a woman,

especially Sanaubar as she uses it to her advantage; “She had a dimpled smile and a walk

that drove men crazy. No on who passed her on the street… man or woman could look at

her only once,” (184). Beauty gives confidence, and gives an identity. Without her beauty

Sanaubar is lost, weak, and without identity. When she shows up to Hassan and Rahim’s

gate Rahim asks: “who are you?” (183); her family and friends don’t recognize her

because she is not the same beautiful woman she was before she ran away. It is expected,

as well, that people of Afghani culture have children. When Soraya feels cannot have

children she, as well as her parents assume it is the price she is paying for running away

with another man before marriage.

“Sometimes it takes a while.” [Amir] told Soraya one night.

“A year isn’t a while, Amir!” She said, in a terse voice so unlike her. Something’s

wrong, I know it.”

“Then let’s see a doctor.” (161)

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Soraya has an intuition that she is paying for her past sin and this frustrates her. She longs

to have a baby of her own and is feeling much regret for her actions and wishes there was

something she could do to take them back. Amir doesn’t understand that Soraya not

being able to have a child is the long term consequence she has to pay for her mistake in

the past. Because of his disbelief he assumes that something can be done medically to

help them have a child. With the Afghanistani culture working against them, adding to

their retribution both woman seek a reformation they hope will help them in becoming

content with themselves.

The reformation of both women allows them the opportunity to fix their mistakes,

but at the same time pay for them. Soraya and Sanaubar are put into reformative

environments while in a sort of prison. As Sanaubar returns to Hassan, she must be

nursed back to health. Her punishment period was being turned from a beautiful woman

to a scraggly old hag, as well as being shunned by her son the first time she sees him

since the day she left. “Hassan dropped her hand and bolted out of the house,” (184).

Sanaubar knew deep down that Hassan would reject her as she came unexpectedly.

Hassan was a big influence on her reformation – Sanaubar came back to her family and

to show that she is willing to be and becomes reformed she helps raise her grandson

Sohrab like she should have years ago with Hassan. “[Sohrab] became the center of her

existence… the two of them were inseparable,” (185). Sanaubar had no one to ever call

her world, or pride and joy. After running away from Hassan her life went down hill, and

never found its way back up until she helped bring Sohrab into the world. When

Sanaubar died “she looked calm, at peace, like she did not mind dying,” (185). Until her

own death Sanaubar did everything she could for Hassan and his family so that when she

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died she would not die with guilt on her soul. Her reformation allowed her to die

peacefully.

Soraya also endured a prison from the minute she returned home. “‘…My father took me

to my bedroom and at me in front of the…mirror. He…told me to cut off all of my hair.

He watched while I did it,’” (156). General Taheri was ashamed of his daughter; he

couldn’t stand to look at such a beautiful girl who committed a terrible sin. He made her

cut off all of her hair so she could see herself the way that he saw her, ugly and

disgraceful. Along with having to shave her head she “didn’t step out of the house for

weeks,” (156). The time she spent alone gave her plenty of time to think and reform

herself. She re-evaluates herself and realizes that reformation was the only way to get this

sin off her chest. The first action Soraya took in making things better was properly

marrying Amir. Although they didn’t have a Shirini-khori, they had a traditional

wedding; this made the Taheris very proud of their daughter. Taking care of Baba was

Soraya’s next task. After their wedding “Soraya suggested that she move in with Baba

and [Amir],” (150). Soraya wanted to establish good relationships within her new family.

She realized that moving in with them would give her an opportunity to get to know Baba

better while helping him around the house for the last months of his life. She wanted to

impress her father even more than she had when she took care of her own mother after

her stroke. Soraya never felt like she was enough for her father, and this made her want to

change to gain possible forgiveness from him. When Soraya and Amir considered

adoption it was frowned upon by General Taheri. “Blood is a very powerful thing…

never forget that,” (163), General Taheri told Soraya and she never forgot. Because

Soraya was not able to have a child, when Amir called from Afghanistan to tell her about

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Sohrab, she was overjoyed. She took this as a great opportunity to finally have a child,

and have her father be accepting to it because Sohrab was from good blood, Baba’s

blood. Soraya did everything in her power to help her nephew come to America to live

with Amir and herself. Soraya realizes that even though she was never able to carry her

own child, that she could still bring a child ‘into the world.’ Her reformation process

allowed her to finally have what she desired most. Sanaubar and Soraya are put into a

reformative state after running away which helps them become more content with

themselves, and their lives.

Amir is the biggest character example in the Kite Runner, to go through a

reformation during this novel. Being a victim of tough love, Amir fights continuously for

attention from his father over Hassan. For this reason alone Amir lives with hatred

towards Hassan because he is jealous of him. Amir does not realize that Baba’s love goes

out to Hassan because Hassan is his son, as well.

““Ali was sterile,” Rahim Khan said…

“Then who—”

“I think you know who.”” (195)

Rahim knows that Amir is a passive kid, thought of no one but himself and needed his

help in becoming active, the biggest step in reformation. The winter of 1975 when Amir

watched Hassan be raped, he did nothing to help him because he was too afraid. This

event scared Amir and he is haunted with this memory. Rahim realizes that Amir is living

with a burden and wants to help him become a better person. Rahim calls Amir, not for

himself, but for Amir to help him with his reformation. Amir realizes that he needs to do

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what Rahim asked him to go back to Afghanistan to do, or else he will never be able to

forgive himself.

“Amir agha?” Fahrid said… “Why are you here?...For the boy?”

“For the boy.”

“It’s hard to believe.”

“Sometimes I myself can hardly believe I’m here”

Amir knows that he has to help Sohrab, and once he begins to he never stops. Khaled

Hosseini makes it known in the novel that to become reformed one must become active,

and strive to complete their reformation. A full reformation comes when one stops

thinking about themselves and puts the ones that they will help, in turn helping them,

first. Amir put Sohrab first, and he felt relieved with himself. Sohrab is Hassan to Amir –

he is given the opportunity, because he finally took action in his life. Amir fights for

Sohrab and makes sure he can someday make Sohrab as happy as Hassan made him. “…a

smile. It didn’t make everything all right. It didn’t make anything all right. Only a smile.

A tiny thing. A leaf in the woods, shaking in the wake of a startled bird’s flight,” (324).

The first time Amir saw Sohrab smile was like a rainbow after the storm. Amir knew he

had accomplished what Rahim had wanted and knew he would be proud of him.

In conclusion, Amir, along with Sanaubar and Soraya, are greatly affected

by the mistakes each of them made in the past. They find a way to reform themselves

because reformation allows them to become better people while fixing their mistakes.

None of them want to continue living with their past errors as a burden and they are not

content with themselves. Thomas Carlyle wisely states: “To reform a world, to reform

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a nation, no wise man will undertake; and all but foolish men know, that the only

solid, though a far slower reformation, is what each begins and perfects on himself.”

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