ISSN 2045-8460 (Online) African Journal of Social Sciences

Indexed and Abstracted ISSN 2045-8460 (Online) African Journal of Social Sciences ISSN 2045-8452 (Print) Volume 1 Number 3 (2011), pp.10- 20 ww.sachajournals.com

GENDER PARADIGM SHIFT WITHIN THE FAMILY STRUCTURE IN KIAMBU, KENYA

WAMUE-NGARE, Grace1 and NJOROGE, Waithera Nancy1

1Department of Gender and Development Studies Kenyatta University

Nairobi, Kenya ABSTRACT

The African family is organized along gender relations that stem from patriarchy. Patriarchy manifests itself in socio-economic and cultural structures that present diverse gender conflicts. Cultural gender norms affect resource distribution and power relations in the family, thereby creating gender inequalities. Members with more access to resources have greater power and influence. Using the Resources Theory, this paper posits that family members with more access to resources have greater power; hence more influence. The African family has witnessed a gender paradigm shift. This has dire consequences for both men and women. It has improved women’s decision –making, thereby widening their autonomy. On the other hand, it has challenged the traditionally perceived male supremacy rendering men helpless and hopeless. By so doing, it has strained gender relations, thus marginalizing the family further. Using a baseline survey, this paper highlights the gender shift and its impact on the family in Kiambu, Kenya.

Keywords: Feminism, Gender, Family, Kenya

INTRODUCTION

Gender researchers world over recognize that the concrete behaviour of individuals is a consequence of both socially enforced rules and values that are imparted through a socialization process which prescribes and ascribes gender roles. Gender roles are acquired through a socialization process which makes clear to each gender what is expected of him/her by the society. Once someone has conformed to a certain gender, the behaviour traits become part of perceived responsibilities. In African communities, gender roles are based on patriarchal systems whereby male authority and power are dominant. Men/ boys and women/girls are therefore socialized to conform to the prescribed gender status quo at both the family and community. In this, boys and men must take leading roles as heads of households and bread winners. Women, on the other hand, take a secondary position especially in the public domain. Their main participation is in the domestic sphere where they take a leading role. This patriarchal ideology bestows absolute power on men, thereby leaving women at their mercy.

African Journals of Social Sciences, Volume 1 Number 3 (2011); pp. 10- 20

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Observably, the family in Kenya has been evolving and is thus affected by various issues. The position of this paper is that, there has been a paradigm shift in gender power relations in the family in Kenya, a case of Kiambu. This is based on a gender role reversal. This has altered gender power relations within the family. By so doing, new gender identities have been created. The consequence is a compromised position of men which renders them helpless and hopeless. The situation has compromised traditional gender perceptions which previously culminated in a distinctly male identity and self respect. Unable to live up to the unwritten cultural norms and values of behaviour, most men in Kiambu have succumbed to feelings of inferiority, uncertainty and frustrations, all with dire consequences on the family.

On the other hand, women have re-positioned themselves to concrete positions in the family. This paper explores the dynamics of the changing power relations and its impact on the family as it attempts to respond to these general questions:- (i) What factors have contributed to gender relations in the family in Kiambu? (ii) What has caused the paradigm shift in gender power relations in the family? (iii) Could Kiambu women be challenging traditionally constructed gender identities, which

have always been thought immutable, or are they responding to feminism? (iv) What impact does the immense gender shift have on women’s and men’s lives in

Kiambu? (v) And, in this context, what is the future of the family in Kiambu and in Kenya generally? METHODS AND MATERIALS

The paper addresses the relationship between gender roles and power relations in the African Family in Kiambu County1. Kiambu County was purposefully selected due to various reasons. It is an area with very high crime rates with frequent reports of kidnapping, carjacking, child defilement and rape. The recent development of women’s Merry-go-Rounds commonly referred to as “Kamweretho2” groups were spearheaded by Kiambu women. These are believed to have a bearing on the gender paradigm shift. Finally, Kiambu has in the recent past years witnessed several demonstrations by women reacting against the excess partaking of illicit brews by the male fraternity, which as the women claim, has rendered their husbands and sons impotent, and hence worthless.

Data was obtained from two divisions in Kiambu, Limuru and Kikuyu. These were purposely selected as most of the demonstrations against illicit brews were done here. A descriptive baseline survey was conducted on two hundred respondents selected randomly or purposefully from “illicit beer drinking dens, shopping centres, churches, and, Kamweretho groups. Respondents were selected from a sampling frame of the indigenous residents of Kiambu County. Respondents included both men and women, totaling 45 people. Data was collected by the use of self administered questionnaires, interview guides, and Focused Group Discussions. In addition, in-depth interviews were conducted particularly to key opinion leaders such as Church elders, Sub-chiefs, County Administration, and Kamweretho group leaders. In addition, secondary sources have been used.

1 Kiambu County here refers to the old administrative District which comprises of Kikuyu, Lari, Githunguri, Kiambaa, and Limuru. Though, the administrative boundaries have continuously been changing, the dynamics of the family have not been affected, hence new boundaries are not a factor in this paper. 2 Kamweretho: A famous women’s merry-go-round group popular in Central Kenya whose main activity is to re-visit one’s parents to appreciate them for raising one up.


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THEORETICAL CONCEPTS

Family scientists define power in terms of who is able to influence others to get their way in the family, and who is able to block others from getting their way. In most cases, family power is a property of the family system, which is instituted in the culture prevailing. Cromwell and Olson (1975) classify family power into three areas: power bases, power processes, and power outcomes. In looking at Power Bases, French and Raven (1959) took a micro systemic view of family power. In this, they examined power strictly from inside the family and suggested that there are six bases of family power. These are: - Legitimate power, which is sanctioned by the belief system within the family; Informational power; based on the person with more income. Referential power based on affection, mutual attraction, friendship, and likeability within the family. Coercive power; which involves the use of physical or psychological force in imposing one's way on others in the family. Expert power based on education, training, or experience that is relevant to the issue at hand and finally, Reward power which is the ability to influence others by providing physical and psychological benefits to those who comply with one's wishes. Though these power bases are often unclear in actual families for situations keep on changing, this paper recognizes the first two for analysis. We note that people with more legitimate and informational power tend to be assertive and empowered.

Taking a macro systemic view, Blood and Wolfe (1960), presents a resource theory of family power. In this, they look for associations between power within and outside the family, and argue that power is apportioned between husbands and wives based on the relative resources that each contributes to the family. Blood and Wolfe specifically focus on the resources of income, occupational prestige, and educational attainment. They demonstrate that the greater the men's resources in these three areas, the greater the men's perceived power within the family. They conclude that the resource theory of the family power is influential because the idea suggests that men do not become heads of households by divine right or natural biological processes, but because they have more and easier access to resources in society. The idea suggests that opening up women's access to resources outside the family can result in a more evenly balanced distribution of power within the family, a trend observed in Kiambu.

Safilios-Rothschild (1967) also taking a macro systemic view point out that the bases of family power are a reflection of culturally defined gender ideologies and gender-segregated resources in the wider society in which a family is embedded. In practically all societies, this means that males have more power in families because of patriarchal beliefs about male authority and supremacy. In this, family power is linked with belief systems where allocation and distribution of resources is unfairly done, since men get the most.

The above authors suggest that gender relations in the family are based on an intricate relationship between power and resources. As a consequence, men’s continued superior status in the family leads to power over women and control of valuable resources, which is supported by laws and policies. This spells out and legitimizes man’s privileged and dominant status, which is justified by tradition, morals, and belief systems. The gender stratification system rests on the premise that women are economically dependent on men, and that their contribution to family resources is minimal, hence less powerful. In this, power processes in families involve a large number of complex cultural and family-related variables.

Power is a fundamental aspect of all human relationships, including family and marital relations. It has been argued that it is important to define and measure power as a dynamic process (Aida and Fablo 1991; Zvonkovic, and Schmiege, 1994, Komter 1989). Marital power


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can be conceptualized in two ways. First, it is noted in decision-making and associated conflict that influences strategies. In this, lack of decision-making, conflict, or influence strategies as a result of one partner anticipating and deferring to the position of the other. This can result from the less powerful partner believing that they are unable to have influence or fearing negative reprisal. Second, invisible power refers to an unconscious process in which social and psychological systems of inequality result in one partner being unable to even conceive the possibility of having input in decision making, engaging in conflict, or using power strategies.

Linking family power with resources, Blood and Wolfe's (1960) highlights the resource theory. They observe that, the distribution of resources in the family is crucial to explaining marital power. As such, power in marriage results from the contribution of resources to the relationship. Consequently, the spouse who contributes the most will have greater influence in decision making, hence greater power (Kulik 1999, Bolak 1995; Blaisure and Allen 1995). Resources can also be thought of as alternatives to the relationship. Adding to Blood and Wolfe's theory, Heer (1963) developed an exchange theory of marital power, arguing that the individual who has the greatest access to alternative resources outside the marriage relationship will have the most power. Looking at the theory from a cultural context, Rodman (1967) notes that the distribution of marital power results not only from an unequal contribution of resources, but also from the larger cultural context within which the marital relationship exists. Cultural gender norms affect the impact that resource contribution has on the distribution of power.

The connection between culture and resources in the balance of marital power has been examined and found that gender inequality is not merely found in the norms and ideologies but characterizes the structure and practices of a society's political, legal, religious, educational, and economic institutions. Discrimination and male domination of these institutions result in women's lower access to resources. This condones and reinforces the patriarchal ideology thereby contributing to the maintenance of gender inequality in the family.

Allen and Straus's (1980) observe that, when husbands lack economic or interpersonal skill resources to maintain a dominant position in marriage, they may fall back on physical size and strength-resources that, on average, husbands tend to have more of than their wives. This is a condition referred to as the Ultimate Resource Theory. Consequently, the loss of men’s power relative to women’s, may result to a greater likelihood for Gender Based Violence (GBV). This is due to the fact that even as gender roles change, widening opportunities for women, patriarchal attitudes have not changed much. However, the opportunities have their price, and the family in Kiambu is taking the toll.

The shift in gender roles in the past 30 years has been enormous. It has also happened so quickly that men and women are still trying to sort out what the new roles and rules mean to them. Kiambu women, in patriarchal lenses are traditionally expected to be the keepers of the house. However, in reality, they have become the breadwinners in many families. On the other hand, although men are generally open to the successes enjoyed by the women, they find it hard to celebrate a woman's triumph because they feel it diminishes their own, hence the paradigm gender shift. PATRIARCHY AND GENDER POWER RELATIONS IN GIKUYU FAMILIES

Patriarchy is a system of social structure and practice in which men dominate, oppress and exploit women (Waby 1980). Patriarchal societies or cultures are initiated by men in positions of power and they continue to maintain it as they enjoy its benefits (Clifford 2001). In African indigenous families, men dominated virtually all aspects of life, politically, economically and socially and made all decisions regarding everything including issues relating


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to women. Women were mere recipients. This was a culture institutionalized through a rigorous socialization process in which, every member of the community knew their place and what was expected of them. The indigenous perception was that this is the correct order, crucial to family harmony.

Patriarchy maintains the status quo in the African family where the senior son as the principle heir and executor controls the family wealth, a position bestowed on him almost by divine right. Traditionally, the Kenyan male has had authority and power. Observably, in the patriarchal families, customs and traditions have tended to favour men more than women. Referring to Gikuyu family, (Kenyatta 1938) notes that men practically owned everything, goats, land, livestock and any other valuable resources as far as Kikuyu economy was concerned. Women had access and control of domestically used resources such as pots, pans, utensils, baskets, milk, farm produce and an occasional goat kept indoors ( mburi ya gicegu), which, though considered theirs, would instantly be slaughtered in the event any woman bragged about owning it.

Using the Gikuyu economic system, women’s resources, unlike men’s, were never considered family wealth, hence no economic power. In case women’s resources started accruing benefits, for example, ample harvest, men would traverse gender barriers and control such resources, by ordering for their disposal.

With the introduction of a monetary economy, formal education, and formal employment, the colonial system altered Gikuyu economy in the family. This saw a shift in resource value from goats/cows to dairy/poultry, barter to money, communal family land trusteeship to individual title deeds, ploughs to pumps, traditional herding of goats to formal employment. The colonial shift altered gender roles, reinforced existing gender disparities, thereby heightening power differentiations within the Gikuyu family. On one hand, it lifted men from traditional economies in production to tangible economic endeavours, while on the other; it relegated women to the unpaid domestic work on production and human reproduction. This scenario altered gender power relations and marginalized women further (Wamue 1999).

At the end of the colonial period, Gikuyu men practically had control of and access to the family economy. In the early post-colonial years, it was common to have husbands either withdrawing their wives from work upon marriage or controlling their income (O.Is Miriam Wanjiku and Mary Nyacuma, 2010) .Men would also control resources accrued from cash crops (tea/coffee) even while they worked at distance urban centres. By so doing, both men and women internalized the fact that gender power in the family rested in the hands of men thereby reinforcing existing traditional beliefs.

However, patriarchy in the African set up did not and does not necessarily subjugate women. It is the adoption of the colonialist’s sense of family administration that presented an undesirable intra-gender relationship modelling (Wamue1999). The colonization process erected men as masters of the home, village, clan and nation. By so doing, women were allowed insignificant roles to play. Nevertheless, irrespective of historical positioning, the general principle governing gender power relations in the Gikuyu family has been that of superiors and inferiors, man as ruler, woman as a subject. As such, the father is the head of the household, final decision maker and breadwinner. Women are subordinate to men. GENDER SHIFT OF ROLES IN THE KIKUYU FAMILY IN KIAMBU

Among the Kikuyu people, labor was organized along gender lines (Kenyatta Op.Cit.

Women did all chores in the domestic while men did the chores in the public domain. Gender interchanging of roles was rather rare in the Kikuyu family. In most cases, it is considered


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taboo( O.Is Catherine Wangechi, Cecilia Waithira 2010). It is noted that, even when women make major headways in formal employment, equal with men in the workplace, they still are responsible for the traditional domestic roles of home maintenance and child rearing. Wamue (ibid.) Note that chores that an individual performs is determined their power position. Since men’s roles were quantified as work, the division of labour by gender simply meant that men had more power and authority in the family than women.

Domestic work falls exclusively under women, girls and uncircumcised boys. The latter abandons it immediately after circumcision (O.Is.Chris Mwaniki, David Waweru, 2010) . As a rule, men only “help” out with housework if there is no other option ( O.Is Rose Wairimu, Lucy Waiganjo, 2010). Housework exemption for men has exacerbated their power positions as compared to women’s. Men have continually used it as a means of exercising supremacy and assertion thereby making housework appear as a tool for gender oppression. This they do with the belief that a “good wife” is the one who performs housework perfectly and tirelessly.

Observably, from the 1980s onwards, a growing shift in gender relations has been witnessed. It is noted that from around this time, the country's economy started escalating downwards. The economic growth rate was affected by periodic external factors especially between 1970s and 1980s. This is characterized by long term deterioration in the country's terms of trade initiated by the first oil shock of 1974-1975. This led to a 1975 adjustment program which was followed by the second oil shock in 1979 which had further implications on the economy. Economic growth in Kenya slowed from 1980s, as inflation rose. This culminated in the reconstruction policy that led to massive cutbacks in layoffs both in “golden handshakes” and retrenchment, all which affected the Kikuyu family in Kiambu in enormously. First, most men lost jobs, since the proportion of male to female workers in the formal sector has always been higher. Second, retrenched persons had to try and fit in the informal sector. Observably, due to the socializing processes, while women smoothly moved to informal livelihoods, Kikuyu men found it rather difficult to fit in the informal sector. Due to the gender classification of roles in the family, which usually allow women to multi task in both domestic and public domains, retrenched women in Kiambu found it easier than men to be integrated in the informal sector.

Most women, though working formally, would still have to carry on their domestic duties, either before work, in between work or after work. Upon retrenchment, women simply went back to the villages, started numerous socio-economic activities either as individuals or in groups specifically in farming and or trade. The more adventurous ones ventured into import or export of commodities such as tie and die materials, baskets (ciondos) and new and second hand clothes (mitumba). Finances would be sourced through formation of women “Merry-Go- Rounds, mainly referred to as (Chamas)”; which enabled them to secure loans from financing agencies and revolving funds generated by members. Besides expanding their businesses, these chamas would be used to accumulate funds to facilitate their children to acquire travel visas and fees to study abroad. 60% of the women respondents had either one or two children in foreign countries, while 20% had all of their children abroad. Over 80% claimed to have facilitated their children without the help of their spouses.

The women also engaged in buying land and constructing either their own homes or real estate’s for rent. About 70% of our respondents have at least one or two houses for rent while 30% have blocks of flats mostly in the city suburbs. These Income Generating Activities doubled as social organizations, widening women’s economic participation. Besides raising their economic status, they also increased their visibility both at the family and the community, a state that elevated their social status. The 1980-1990s economic depression served as a springboard for Kiambu women’s emancipation and empowerment.


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On the contrary, Kiambu men returned to the villages and sulk up at their homes, alone, disoriented and confused. Due to the gender classification of roles, men have traditionally been socialized to fit in the outside domain. Upon taking formal employment, they completely alienate themselves from household management and informal work. On retrenchment, they found it almost impossible to fit in the informal sector. In due course, most of the men were broke thereby losing their traditional position as family breadwinners, consequently challenging their traditionally perceived patriarchal image in the Kikuyu family. Gradually, the male ego was deeply compromised. These men found themselves in a hopeless and helpless cage that eroded their self esteem. As a result, most of them either resulted to illicit brews or turned to Gender Based Violence.

Men with such mentality are struggling to reinvent themselves in a world where women have turned the tables round. Such men are facing a dilemma. Our survey presented a grim picture especially on the male generation between ages 20-45, who spend all their time either in illicit drinking dens. Observably, these brews have severe drawbacks on men in Kiambu. Considering their age bracket, the scenario is horrifying. Since the brews affect their reproductive system, wives often find themselves with impotent husbands, hence marital frustrations. Majorities of the girls from this area tend to prefer men from outside the Kikuyu community, or older men, thus creating a generation gap.

Our survey also found that fathers have resulted to siring children for their “impotent” sons. Despite this being the highest form of incest, they resort to it since they want their family lineages to continue. Ng’ang’a Ruo (O.I, 2010) cited several cases where such relationships have thrived. Speaking on condition of anonymity, the few men who claimed to “sire children on behalf of the impotent men,” bragged that “theirs is a mission to save a generation”.

In addition to these vices, our survey also found traces of cross generational relationships in the study area. In this, pre-marital and extra-marital sexual relationships are gaining acceptance. Consequently, quite a number of women in Kiambu attested to engaging in cross generational relationships, some as old as 45 having affairs within 18 year olds. Such women claimed that their husbands are either “too dirty, poor or impotent”; hence they (women) cannot allow them “conjugal rights”. Also speaking on conditions of anonymity, these women, claimed that conjugal rights as the name suggests are “rights” given to those who deserve them; and in this case, their husbands are not anywhere near this category.

Besides alcoholism, others result to gambling and hard drugs. These men steal household goods and exchange them for both vices. Once discovered, the women beat them thoroughly, sometimes, warranting the men to “run away” from home. Kikuyu customs dictate that men never “run away” from home. It is vice versa.

In about 70% of the homes we surveyed, male adults are in such compromised gender power positions where family decisions and home management are entirely at the hands of women. These men portray a complete lack of authority and power in the family front, hence the common slogan in Kiambu “gukorogerwo” (literally meaning ‘to be cemented on). This derogatory term refers to a situation where a man’s position in the family has been absolutely comprised. Such men appear socially weak, hopeless, and ‘impotent” on critical decisions affecting their families. Due to their lack of control, they are denied basic things like food, shelter and sex. Consequently, they are in perpetual hunger, dirt, drunk, and in tatters. In most cases, they are seen idling in the shopping centers commonly referred to as “mung’etho” (to stare) all day, and beg for small handouts from visitors especially those from the city. The situations they find themselves in quite often lead to premature deaths (David Kamau O.I, 2010).


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Naturally, some men fight back, hence situations of GBV are rampant. Most of the domestic fights, as the women claim, are however caused by man’s irresponsibility, idleness and consequent demands for food. Men, on the other hand, claim that they result to violence because they are desperate and stressed. From our observation, both parties are indeed so stressed, ever in a vicious blame game cycle, an act that marginalizes the family further. The effect of the above situation has had far reaching consequences on the family in Kiambu. From our observations, the social cohesion that has previously bound the family unit together has been loosened by this paradigm shift in gender power relations. Owing to lack of proper role models, most young adult males have resulted in crime such as carjacking, kidnapping, outlawed gangs, and rape. Those not in serious crimes or outlawed gangs, portray a dependency syndrome that compromises their ability to mature into adulthood and take up responsibility e.g. marry and establish their own homes as is the norm among the Kikuyu people.

As women and girls in Kiambu strife to change their traditional status at family level thereby dislodging men from their previously “divinely” perceived positions, a complex shift in power relations occurs. Considering that, the above period coincided with women’s awakening that climaxed in the UN conference in Nairobi in 1985 and a decade later in Beijing 1995, as well as the girl-child campaign, gender tables have indeed been turned in Kiambu. DISCUSSIONS

Gender power relations in Kiambu families have drastically altered power bases in the family. It is quite clear that attitudes toward gender roles have been gradually changing albeit with resistance from the male fraternity. This has challenged traditional gender power and role ideology thereby creating a less equitable gender division of labour and access and control of resources shifting towards the women.

Consequently, families have become centres of conflicts and tensions with each gender trying to assert itself. Observable characteristics are male bashing, drug abuse, alcoholism, rebellious youth and general crimes. Women in Kiambu want men to perform “female perceived roles”, as long as they (men) are not in any gainful employment, and most of them are not. Men, on the contrary resent this; hence the gender conflicts. The continued lack of recognition of housework as work leaves the performers of whichever gender with no sense of value. As such, they become frustrated and continue to resent it. To demonstrate their assertion, empowered women want men to perform housework in return for their basic needs like food, clothes, conjugal rights or any other ‘small privileges’. Majorities of the women who subject their husbands to this situation ironically belong to the numerous social economic groups that have flourished in the area. Some of these are Kamweretho, Hama, and Ngumbato, to mention just a few 95% of our female respondents belong to at least one of these groups. Although all women merry-go –rounds portray the same characteristics, Kamweretho has hit Kiambu County by a storm.

Kamweretho is a women’s group whose basic organization is the popular women’s merry-go-round; an idea which has been central in the empowerment of women. Each member of the group contributes a certain amount of money each month which is invested or used as a lump sum by one member at a time. Many women have benefited greatly by these merry-go-rounds (O.Is Serah Nduta, Jane Muthoni, Mary Mwara, Serah Wairimu, Mary Muumbi, Jennifer Njeri, Rose Waithera, 2010).

Basically, it is exclusively a female affair with males always taking a secondary role, if any. Our survey found out that, Kamweretho was started by the urban, not so educated ladies


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who import both second and new clothes for sale (O.I Serah Teresia Wambui, Lucy Njeri, Kezziah Nyambura, Jane Njeri, 2010). Clad mainly in uniform and a galore of fanfare, the Kamweretho groups are mainly around forty members. The ceremonies involve the ritualistic visit to their parents’ home to seek forgiveness for wrongs ever committed, appreciate parents them for raising them up, and hence seek blessings and favors, particularly from their mothers. This exercise is believed to “bail them” from any known and unknown curses, that could be prohibiting their socio-economic progress. Their activities involve buying clothes to their mothers and occasionally, fathers, and literally dressing them during the function. In return, the parents symbolically spit on their chests and invoke blessings to their children. Beside clothes, they give a monitory “token” of appreciation that ranges from US $ 250- 2500 a figure that depends on size of membership and economic power. Though some members insist that this money is not symbolic, others boldly claim that indeed, it is dowry (O.I Lucy Waiganjo, Esther Njeri, Eunice Wairimu, Frasier Wanjiru, Florence Nyathira,Eunice Wambui, Florence Wanjiru, Gladys Gathoni 2010).

Customarily, no parent would receive a dowry for a daughter before he pays for her mother. Notably, under Kikuyu customs, if a man receives his daughter’s bride price before he pays any for her mother, he would have to take such money to his father-in-law, so that it can ‘open” for his own daughter’s further dowry payment. Besides, one cannot ask for more dowry for a daughter than he paid for her mother. In case he dishonours that, he brings wrath to his daughter, who may have misfortunes in her new marital home. So Kamweretho women who advocate for dowry payment do so by claiming that it is for the benefit of the entire family.

Initially, Kamweretho dowry ritual was exclusively a reserve for the unmarried single mothers. Kikuyu customs demand that unmarried mothers give a ‘token’ of appreciation to their fathers, if alive, or brothers as dowry. By so doing, unmarried women would ‘bail themselves out’ from a feeling of incompleteness as no dowry has ever been paid for them. In this, the single mother “marries” herself so that she can be “cleared” to receive her daughter’s dowry. However, married women have joined the dowry-payment orgy. By so doing, they have defied customs, hence the resentment of Kamweretho by most men, and the Church.

A number of men have banned their wives from participating in Kamweretho activities. This is attributed to what O.Is Eliud Kihuha, John Mwaniki , Paul Mwani and David Kamunge refer to uremi wao ( tendency to defy orders). However, majorities of the women have ignored the ban, claiming that they are no longer under any male authority. The women claimed that they need no permission from men, as these do not provide any financial resources (O.Is. Rose Wambui, Esther Kabura, Virginia Nyokabi, Dorcas Wambui 2010). Some of the husbands are aware of their wives’ participation in these groups but are helpless about it since they have no control over them (O.Is David Kamau, Lawrence Kariuki, Simon Muthumbi, Albert Kimathi, 2010). From the women’s views, the socio-economic gains derived from participating in these groups are enormous. As such, most women opt to participate in them defying any bans from spouses ( O.I Hannah Wakori).

Critics of Kamweretho point out that suspicion starts because the women usually buy presents for their mothers and not fathers. Besides, members often return home late after engaging in drinking and sexual immorality. This allegation is echoed in some Kikuyu pop music by Ephraim Maina. In addition to allegations of drinking sprees during Kamweretho outings and using the same outings as avenues for extra-marital affairs, critics claim the women use the groups to pay the bride price for themselves, which is totally against Kikuyu customs. All these activities contradict marital expectations. To most men, Kamweretho has really destroyed many homes.


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However, women note that in the dowry payment, “it is the men who misunderstand us, since they (men) are jealous” ( O.Is. Damaris Muniu, Edith Njoroge, Purity Njambi. To the latter, indeed the aim is to pay a dowry and open up avenues for their so called husbands to receive their daughters’ dowry, since these “foolish” men are not aware that they cannot marry off their daughters if they have not married their wives traditionally. It is taboo and a curse! Besides, these men are impotent (O.I Mary Wanjiru, 2010), hence having extramarital sex is a norm. In addition, they cannot meet any economic family obligation. As such, they have no moral authority to question us. The women claim to socialize within the groups to release the marital stress caused by their husbands’ many woes.

Contrary to the negative perception of Kamweretho, these groups fill a once existing socio-economic vacuum to women’s emancipation and empowerment in Kiambu. However, some activities, in particular, “visiting parents, paying dowry and physical investment”, contradict traditionally perceived gender roles. In particular, dowry payment and physical investment are exclusive male issues. Traversing gender lines by doing “manly duties” compromise the male ego, hence the discernment of Kamweretho by men from all spheres. Indeed, it demonstrates the very essence of the paradigm gender shift in the family. CONCLUSION

From the foregoing analysis, it is obvious that traditional gender roles in the family in Kiambu have indeed changed. Role reserved only for men have to be performed by women and vice versa. In addition, most men, as already seen, lost the bread winning status. This has adversely affected their status quo seriously challenging the male ego. It has resulted in women taking over power and authoritative positions in the family. The scenario has also led a perceived female defiance mainly from wives whose previous loyalty to husbands was directly related to the husband’s earning status. With its loss, gender power relations in the family changed. Men have either to succumb to traditional reserved roles for women in order to fit in, or get lost in the process. Being so dependent on traditional gender perceptions that define male identity, men find themselves at a loss when confronted with new gender identities.

On the contrary, women’s increasing participation in the male domain has had a major social change particularly in terms of gender power relations in the family. This autonomy has given women and girls a mileage ahead of men and boys. In the absence of male economic power, the women are at a powerful advantage that leads to high self esteem. The traditional “father head” that men under study religiously enjoyed, is gone. Children have grown up seeing their mothers in control of the economic power of the family, thereby calling the shots. In the process, the father has been pushed to the periphery of a toothless dog in the family scene. Indeed, gender tables in Kiambu, have been turned. It is evident that women have taken over gender power relations in the family, which have linked them to the public domain, outside domestic circles. As a consequence, the family in Kiambu has been experiencing strained gender relations for the last 20years.

In lieu of the above, it is obvious that, as we continue advocating for gender equality, in particular women’s empowerment, we must refocus our attention on gender equity that does not compromise the family. Balanced gender relations are crucial in redeeming the family in Kiambu. Meaningful gender relations need to be re-defined within the family context, where both men and women find space for the assertion. This is achieved without either gender trying to undermine or outdo each other. By so doing new gender perceptions need be re-defined, which incorporate activities that will integrate both genders. The aim is to create positive


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models that will balance gender power relations and maintain the family, a crucial institution in the society. REFERENCES Aida, Y., and Falbo, T. (1991). "Relationships between Marital Satisfaction, Resources, and

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