Ipc lesson plan 20 why relationships end
description
Transcript of Ipc lesson plan 20 why relationships end
Breaking UpWhy she left me…
Why do people divorce?1. Infidelity – 21.6%2. Incompatibility – 19.2%3. Drinking/ Drug Abuse – 10%4. Growing apart – 9.6 %5. Personality – 9.1%6. Lack of Communication – 8.7%7. Abuse – 5.8%8. Loss of Love – 4.3%9. Irresponsibility – 3.4%10.Work Problems – 3.4%
What role do you think finances play in divorce?
Young Marriages
Young Marriages
• Immaturity• Financial Resources• Perceptions of Being Tied Down• Poor reasons for getting married in
the first place.– To get away from family
40 % divorce rate for those married between 18-19
24% when married after 25
Do Opposites Attract?
Oppositions
• Culture• Education• Intelligence• Attractiveness• Health• Commitment• Attitudes toward Sex
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Gottman (1994)
Complaints and Criticisms
Contempt & Disgust
Defensiveness
Stonewalling
5 Complaints
• Behavior• Personal Characteristics• Performance• Appearance• Meta-complaining
5 Complaints
• Behavior• Personal Characteristics• Performance• Appearance• Meta-complaining
Satisfied couples complain about specific behaviors.
5 Complaints
• Behavior
• Personal Characteristics• Performance• Appearance• Meta-complaining
Dissatisfied couples complain about personal characteristics
Complaints and Criticisms
Contempt & Disgust
Defensiveness
Stonewalling
Complaints and Criticisms
Contempt & Disgust
Defensiveness
Stonewalling
Complaints and Criticisms
Contempt & Disgust
Defensiveness
Stonewalling
Save Your Marriage
1. Soften the start up2. Focus on what you want, not on what
you do not want.3. Respond with open-ended questions4. Accept emotional bids5. Express Appreciation6. Repair Conversations7. Establish rituals for connection8. Accept influence
How We Break UpBreaking Up – Part 2
Duck’s Model of Breaking Up
Intra-psychic Processes
Dyadic Processes
Social Processes
Why can the social processes stage be the most detrimental
to the relationship?
Dark Side
Grave Dressing
Resurrection
Knapp’s Stages of Coming Apart
Differentiation
Circumscribing
Stagnating
Avoiding
Terminating
What is the problem with Stage Models?
Catastrophe Theory
How do you break up?
How would you prefer your significant other to dump
you?
What about the kids?
• Kids of divorced parents:–More likely to be depressed– Less satisfied with life– Have poor relationships–More likely to divorce–Make less $$$– Poor Health
Why are kids from divorced families more likely to
divorce?
Good News!
These differences are reduced when the divorced parents maintain a positive relationship
It is better for the kids to divorce than to stay in a bad relationship.
What are some other benefits to breaking up?
The Final Exam
• Two required questions:– Define IPC (contrast against other forms
of communication, break down the various parts)
– Theory application.
• Four essay questions out of several.– One question from each chapter, so
know four chapters really well
The Final Exam
• What I will grade on:– Accuracy (do you use the correct terms, do you
understand the concept?)– Answer depth (did you explain it in enough depth
to demonstrate your understanding of the concept?– Application (do you use examples from specific
real life experiences: you, a friend, a character in a film)
– Cross Referencing (are you bringing in specific concepts from the text? A+ answers are able to connect multiple concepts and chapters)