Indian Prairie School District 204 Bullying Prevention Presentation November 2013 .pdf

8/14/2019 Indian Prairie School District 204 Bullying Prevention Presentation November 2013 .pdf

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Bullying Prevention: Strategiesfor ParentsDavid Koopmann EdD; Mike Treptow, LCSW;

Patricia Graczy, PhDIndian Prairie School District

November, 2013


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Overview of Presentation! Why important! What is bullying behavior?! Bullying across the ages! Whos at-risk of being bullied?! Warning signs! What to do to deal with bullying when it

occurs! What to do to prevent bullying! Resources! Open up for questions,

discussion


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Why important! 15-25% of children are bullied

regularly (15-25%)! Bullying behavior can have significant

effects on victims, bullies, andbystanders

! Estimated that 10% of workers haveexperienced bullying (Nielsen,Matthiesen, & Einarsen, 2010)


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Systematic Abuse of

Power (Smith, 2004)


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What Bullying Is Not! It is not just teasing.! It is not just a conflict.

! Bullying is repeated.! Bullying is between unequals .


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Bullying Types! Direct bullying

! Physical! Verbal

! Indirect (Relational or Reputational):! use personal relationship to harm someone! damage standing in peer group -- gossip,

shunning, having others do the dirty work


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Bullying Can Happen Anywhere!


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Bullying in ElementaryDirect:! Physical abuse! Verbal abuse name-calling, laughingIndirect! Refuse to share! Play or work with victim


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Bullying in Middle & High SchoolDirect:! Physical abuse! Verbal abuse

Indirect (boys and girls)! Threats - wont be their friend! Say things to harm victims reputation


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Cyber-Bullying

! Repeatedly teasing or spreadingdamaging rumors using social media

! 20% of teens at some point! Youth who bully can be anonymous! Can be wide-spread quickly! Difficult to take back! Shifts power


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Bullying in the Workplace! Offensive remarks!

Being ridiculed, humiliated! Social exclusion! Persistent criticism of your work!

Given menial tasks instead of moremeaningful ones


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Sibling Bullying! Far more prevalent than people realize!

Under-studied compared to other formsof bullying! Skinner & Kowalski study with college

students (2013)! 78% reported being bullied by sibling! 85% reported bullying sibling during

childhood!

Perceived as normal


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Whos at Increased Risk?! Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender

Youth & Adults! Youths with Disabilities! Youths from racially or ethnically

different backgrounds! Youths from different religious

backgrounds! Note: Violation of Civil Rights


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Bystanders


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Bystanders

!

Bullying is group process

! Present during 85% of bullying

activities


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Types of Bystanders

! Outsiders

! Defenders (11%)


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Types of Bystanders (contd)

! Reinforcers

! Followers


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Bystanders! When bystanders intervene, it

usually stops bullying (Hawkins etal. 2001)

! Reduce bullying by 85% if focusingon peer interventions (Horner,2006)


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Youth who are bullied! Injuries or physical complaints! Eating habits.!

Lost or destroyed belongings! Sleep/nightmares! Grades or school attendance!

Friendships and social situations! Helplessness and self esteem! Self-destructive behaviors or talk


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Youth who bully! Get into physical or verbal fights! Have friends who bully others! Get sent to the principals office or to detention

frequently! Unexplained extra money or new belongings! Blame others for their problems! Dont accept responsibility for their actions! Are competitive and worry about reputation


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Reporting Bullying

! DETAIL: names, places, dates, times, andbehaviors

!

Tip line (anonymous)! Talk to principal or assistant principal

! Requires schools to do an investigation! Possible alternate processes in the building! Allows us to ask helpful questions! Can offer additional support

! Confidentially must be maintained


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Consequences and Student

Perceptions


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Consequences of Bullying! 60% of youth who bully in grades 6-9 had

at least one criminal conviction by age 24! Chronic bullying maintained into adulthood! Inability to develop and maintain positive

relationships! About 7% of 8 th graders stay home at

least once a month! Depression, anxiety and low self-esteem


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Students Perceptions! Youth who were bullied were at least

partially responsible for bullying! Agreed that bullying toughened weak

person! Some believed bullying taught victims

behavior! Considered youth who were bullied as

weak, nerds, and afraid to fight back


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Students Perceptions! Low percentage of students believe that

adults will help

! Adult intervention is infrequent &ineffective

! Telling adults makes bullying even worse


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Students Perceptions! 43% said they would try to help victim

! 33% said that they should help but do not

! Only 24% said bullying was none of theirbusiness.


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Responding to BullyingBehaviors


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Talk with Your Childabout Bullying

! Parents should be ready to:! Listen: It is the childs story; let him or

her tell it.! Believe: Parents need to react in a way

that encourages the child to trust.! Be supportive: Tell the child is it not his

fault and that he does not deserve to bebullied.


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Talk with Your Child about

Bullying (contd)! Be patient: Children may not be ready to

open up right away.! Provide information: Parents should

educate their child about bullying byproviding information at a level child canunderstand.

! Explore options for intervention strategies:Parents can discuss with their child optionsthey may have in dealing with bullyingbehavior.


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Questions to Ask Your Childabout Bullying! Questions that may be helpful:

!

Did the child hurt you on purpose?! Was it done more than once?! Did it make you feel sad or angry?! How do you feel about the behavior?! Did the child know you were being

hurt?


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Questions to Ask Your

Child about Bullying! Is the other child more powerful

(i.e. bigger, scarier) than you insome way?! Are kids making fun of you?!

How was the bus ride today?! Has anyone touched you in a way

that did not feel right?


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Report Bullying

! Provide detail: names, places, dates, times,and behaviors

!

Tip line (anonymous)! Talk to principal or assistant principal

! Requires schools to do an investigation! Possible alternate processes in the building! Allows us to ask helpful questions! Can offer additional support

! Confidentially must be maintained


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Strategies


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Strategies for Children whoare Bullied! Control anger- showing your anger

makes the problem worse, makes bullyfeel more powerful (*Do find a safeperson to express your anger to.)

! Never get physical or respond withbullying behavior - this shows angerand you cant be sure how the studentwho bullied will respond


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Strategies for Children whoare Bullied (contd)! Act brave, walk away, and ignore the

child who bullied them ignoringmeans you dont give him/her thereaction he/she is looking for

! Use humor- give a compliment to throwhim/her off guard. Do not use humor tomake fun of the child who bullied them.


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Strategies for Children whoare Bullied (contd)! Tell an adult- faculty, staff, parents are

there to help you.

! Talk about it- talking is an excellentoutlet for fears and frustrations.


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Strategies for Children whoare Bullied (contd)! Use the buddy system- there is strength

and support in numbers

! Develop more friendships- get moreinvolved in school activities, regularinteractions with positive friends willbuild your self-esteem.


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Victims - Protective Factors Really important!! Hodges et al., 1999 Positively

connected with peers in some way! High peer status! High quality friendships


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Interventions for Children/Youthwho bully: May need help...! Recognizing their behavior as bullying or

inappropriate! Taking responsibility for actions! Developing empathy and prospective-taking

skills! Finding ways to make amends! Finding positive way to wield power! May also have other emotional or behavioral

disorders that warrant attention


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If your Child bullies others! Emphasize bullying is serious- make

sure your child understands that it willnot be tolerated and outline theconsequences

! Teach your child to treat people withrespect- teach children to appreciate

differences! Find out if your childs friends are also

bullying- seek intervention through yourchilds school


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If your Child bullies others(contd)! Set limits- immediately stop any

inappropriate behaviors, help your childpractice alternatives

! Observe your childs interactions- utilizepositive reinforcement for prosocial

behavior


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If your Child bullies others(contd)! Talk with school staff- talk about ways

to encourage positive choices, peerrelations, and social skills

! Set realistic goals- assure your child thatyou love them and its their behavior

you do not like


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Strategies for those that WitnessBullying

! Dont spread rumors! Refuse to join in when someone is being

bullied! Create distraction to draw child who is

bullying away! Assist isolated person

! Get adult assistance for bullying situation! Speak up when they see someone being

bullied


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Re: Sibling Bullying! Identify hot spots (locations where its

occurring)! Identify times (e.g., between time

children come home from school andwhen parent gets home from work)

! Increase supervision, involve othercaring individuals (e.g., other adults,friends, other siblings)


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What Not To Do


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What NOT to do

! Dont talk to child who was bullied and childwho bullied at the same time

! talk to children involved separately

! Dont require child who was bullied to tell the

child who bullied him/her how it made him/her feel


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What NOT to do

! Dont assume child who bullied has low self-

esteem

! Dont assume bullying is just part of growingup


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What NOT to doDont use labels like bully or victim Labels can be harmful Labels imply behavior is fixed and cant bechanged Labels imply that the behavior is totally thechilds fault


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Preventing Bullying Behaviors


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New Study by Child TrendsReviewed well-designed studies of 17bullying prevention programs todetermine what works (had at least 1

positive outcome)Key Findings:

* Involving parents

*Whole school approach focused onnurturing a positive school climate*Combined approach: Involving parents

& whole school approach


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Family Values & Rules:

Respect Self & Others

! Not just teach --- live it!

! Model respectful behaviors toward others! Very powerful way to teach your children


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Family Values & Rules:

Respect Others! Reinforce family expectations: In our family we

treat ourselves & others with respect.! Make everyone feel included and welcomed! Treat others with courtesy and respect! Expect others to treat us with courtesy &

respect! Help others who are being picked on or bullied

! Reinforce family rules: Be nauseatinglyconsistent


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Teach Difference between

Telling and Tattling! Tattling telling on another child just to

get them in trouble

! Telling telling on another childbecause they are causing trouble;

telling an adult that another child IS introuble (i.e., victim)

! being treated in a harmful, hurtful,disrespectful , or unsafe way


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Do daily check-ins

! Keeps lines of communication open! How was school today? Bus ride? Walk

home?! What was one good thing that

happened today? Anything bad happen?!

How was lunch? Who did you sit with?What did you discuss?! Lauren & the frying pan, Katie & red

car, Matt & scratches


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Talk directly about bullying

with your children! Discuss what bullying behavior is

! Looks like, sounds like

!

What they could do if other children aretreating them in a hurtful, harmful,disrespectful, or unsafe way


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Talk directly about bullying

with your children (contd)! Discuss what they can do if they see

bullying occurring how to help another

child who is being hurt

! Discuss what parents / teachers /friends / other children can do to stopbullying


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Preventing Cyberbullying


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Preventing Cyberbullying:

! Establish rules about use of technology(computers, cell phones, etc.)

! Know what your children are doing online


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Establish house rules re: Use

of technology! Expect child to use appropriately & be

clear what you mean by appropriately

! Be clear that you will allow them to usetechnology as long as used

appropriately


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Establish house rules re: Use

of technology (contd)! Tell them to think twice before saying or

posting anything on-line! Personal information! Pictures! Okay for strangers to see?! Prospective employers?

! Tell them to keep passwords safe andnot share


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Know what your children are

doing on-line! Sites theyre visiting, on-line activities

! Friend your children on social mediasites or ask another trusted adult to do so

! Tell them not to respond to cyberbullyingmessages


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Know what your children are

doing on-line (contd)! Tell them not to delete cyberbullying

messages, pictures, etc.

! Tell them to let a caring adult know asapif cyberbullying is occurring


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And a Few Words on AdultBullying

! Happens frequently! Need to be aware of it! Dont support people who bully -

support the people who are beingbullied

! Adults have the right to feel safe in their

environment, too.


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Take Home Points:Parents are Critical to PreventingBullying

! Children have the right to feel safe at home, inschool, and in the community

! Make kindness pay and acknowledge yourchildrens respectful behaviors

! Model respectful behavior very powerful!

! Keep lines of communication open!! With your children, with schools


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Take Home Points:Parents are Critical to PreventingBullying

! Be knowledgeable about bullying, signs of bullying,how to intervene

! Teach children about bullying & what they can doif bullying is occurring

! Teach child about proper use of technology


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Resources! www.stopbullying.gov almost like one-

stop shopping!! Videos, webisodes, written materials all

free!


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Discussion

Indian Prairie School District 204 Bullying Prevention Presentation November 2013 .pdf

Documents

Transcript of Indian Prairie School District 204 Bullying Prevention Presentation November 2013 .pdf