in one breath, to love and to hate C2- the imperialists

download in one breath, to love and to hate C2- the imperialists

of 18

Transcript of in one breath, to love and to hate C2- the imperialists

  • 8/7/2019 in one breath, to love and to hate C2- the imperialists

    1/18

    Title: In One Breath, To Love and Hate

    Author: kanu_x

    Disclaimer: fiction - I do not own anything but the story

    Feature/Pairing: omc, Arashi, Juntoshi, Sakumiya, (Aimiya-ish, Aiba+ofc)

    Rating: PG-13 > NC-17 (mild violence, mild smut, future rape)

    Genre: AU, romance, historical fantasy, (tragedy)Summary: Civil War. Empress VS Emperor. Arashi takes sides. Who wins? From different

    characters' POVs.

    Part: 2/8 Warning: this chapter is even longer than the last! :/

    A/N: I have never been in the military nor studied anything related. Forgive me for being

    creative.

    I want to put Samurai instead of Warrior, but Warrior fits every category.

    I'm very grateful to everyone during my first two fics who gave me strength to continue writing

    and helped me gain confidence. Thankyou!

    Having a hard time imagining the members?

    Start with Ohno in his butais. I believe there are some Arashi pics out there where they're

    dressed as warriors/samurais and carrying swords? Then there's Arashi in yukatas (extremely

    important in the case of Nino.)

    If you've seen a lot of asian historical dramas in general, it's great help.

    And I'm sorry if its all too much and confusing!!

    It starts out from each character's personal story, THEN to the war.

    PREVIOUS: The Rebels

    Setting: In this era, it has become the norm for married men to take male lovers on the side.It is an era where the mention of voodoo/magic instills both awe and fear.

    Where the Nobles follow strict societal rules and Warriors compete for the highest honor.

    Difference between Noble and Warrior families:

    Warrior families are a branch of Noble families but are far more respected because they have a

    long line of military history. It is difficult for regular Noble families to be recognized as Warrior

    families. (As in the case of Sho, even though he has joined the military, he is still considered just

    a Noble.)

    Main Characters:

    omc: Harada Ren - Peasant (under Com.Jun, errand boy)

    Matsumoto Jun - Warrior Family (Commander of the Rebels)

    Ohno Satoshi - Warrior Family (Commander of the Imperial Army)

    Sakurai Sho - Noble Family (Lieutenant under Com.Jun, Spy)

    Aiba Masaki - Emperor's Cousin (Special Unit under Com.Satoshi, BirdMan)

    Ninomiya Kazunari - Emperor's Concubine (Strategist for the Imperialists?, Witch of the North)

    Jumpers:(Aiba's Invention)

  • 8/7/2019 in one breath, to love and to hate C2- the imperialists

    2/18

    They are like springs for the feet. Allows the user to jump extremely high.

    * * * The IMPERIALISTS* * *

    Harada Ren

    Weeks passed and the Imperialists have not moved. Thus we act. The information requiredfinally arrives. How? I don't know, but it gets here. We overtake the largest trading town.

    It seems that the Imperialists knew of our intentions, but they had not made a move to interfere.

    This frustrates our Commander, but it does not stop him. The day after we have made new

    accomodations in town, our Commander personally requests to see me. I am thrilled! I admire

    the man very much! Him and our lieutenant. It would be our first meeting face to face.

    I find him in the dining room of the mayor's manor. I am surprised to find him alone. Where's the

    lieutenant? But it's not my position to ask.

    I think the Commander did not hear me come in. He stands staring out one large window with

    an arm behind his back. I almost clear my throat to make him aware of my presence but he

    speaks out loud to himself instead.

    With a tisk, he scowls. "Ohno, what the heck are you doing?"

    I wonder what he means. I open my mouth to address him but at that moment he turns around

    and sees me.

    "Oh. You're here."

    "Yes, your honor." Excitement tingles through my body.

    He dismisses the formalities with one impatient wave of his hand and storms over to the table. I

    see a wineglass and bottle of wine. He pours himself a cup and gulps it down.I stare in wonder. What a man!

    Then the Commander snaps back to attention. "You're so young," he says.

    I gulp and revert my eyes to the ground politely. "Yes sir."

    "Sakurai has told you?"

    "Yes sir. I'm to run errands. Have been. That's all."

    At that moment, a smirk almost crosses his face. I think he's picturing his lieutenant. Then he

    proceeds. "Right. You're too young. I don't want you on the battlefield. But I think you can be

    very useful another way."

    My eyes sparkle. REALLY!? I raise my head in expectation.

    Now I definitely see his grin. "Just this for now. Keep your ears and eyes open around this army.

    Report everything back to me."

    It's a strange request, but I'm thrilled nonetheless. I bow deeply in glee. "YES SIR!"

  • 8/7/2019 in one breath, to love and to hate C2- the imperialists

    3/18

    A few weeks later, news come that the Imperialists are finally stepping up. They will act! Finally,

    Commander Ohno have woken. Hah! The sinners. They will still lose.

    The IMPERIALISTS: Ohno Satoshi

    I lived a carefree life until I was three. The summer of that year, a son was born to theMatsumoto family. My father striped me of all my toys and gave me a sword. That weapon could

    never leave my side. It was heavy for my small hands, but as a little boy I feared for the

    consequences and followed his orders.

    My father and mother encouraged me to hate. They taught me how. Every moment of my life

    they reminded me about the presence of my rival, the young Matsumoto Jun. At five, I was

    forced to begin my training.

    Maybe because they were so adamant, so set on me hating Matsumoto that I never did. I could

    not summon such a powerful emotion to set on another person that I did not know. I don't have

    a reason to despise the younger boy, so I won't. Of course, I never told my parents or anyone.

    They all think I share their feelings. I hide it very well.

    To escape it all, I began to dream. To become lost in my own mind. I turn up and see a beautiful

    cloud, and I get engulfed by that world of fluffiness and pure essence. Bliss. No one could ever

    cure me of this "disease." It was the only way I could handle all the pressure and expectations.

    And so like that I grew up unaware of the world around me. They say I excelled. Did I? They call

    me a genius. Am I? I don't know. I do whatever I have to do. It's fun to hold a sword. It's fun to

    notch arrows. That's all I think.

    It becomes a little easier after a while.

    I was old enough to join my father on his missions at fifteen. At that time, I also followed him to

    Court. That was where I met our Emperor's cousin, Aiba Masaki. He was such a cheerful and

    sunny boy. I wanted to befriend him. Maybe he'd make my world less harsh.

    Masaki was two years younger than me, but sometimes I feel like it's three times that. I don't

    know how the both of us survived while we were alone together. I secretly snucked out to see

    Masaki and watch his wacky experiments. The boy was a genius in his own category. He had

    miraculous creations that no one would ever think of. Of course, he never showed them to

    anyone but me.

    Despite that, two to three years later, he changed.

    I know why. It's that girl. It's the rules of the court. Masaki is tied down and not even I could help

    him. When she disappeared from his life forever, he broke down. I held him and we cried.

    Anyone would think he got better after that. Masaki returned to smiling and jumping in glee. I

    knew better. He hid his sadness deep inside so that no one saw. Because, they wouldn't

    understand.

  • 8/7/2019 in one breath, to love and to hate C2- the imperialists

    4/18

    Around that occurrence, Matsumoto makes his first appearance at Court. He's finally of age. It

    was the first time I'd ever laid eyes on my rival. He was such a small boy, smart and determined.

    I wanted to talk with him. I tried, but he would have none of it. It seems he likes the distance

    between us. I felt his hatred aimed at me and was shocked into silence. Why can't we befriends? Why can't I get close to him? I would like to ask society. Everyone around me thinks it's

    perfectly normal that we are kept apart.

    I try to explain to Masaki, but he can't digest our Warrior Family's long history of rivalry.

    I want to be Matsumoto's friend and the fact that I can't hurts me. So I bury this feeling so deep

    within that I can't feel it anymore. Continue to hate me, Matsumoto Jun, like you always do. I

    won't care.

    As the years go by, I find myself watching him, aware of his hatred. Go ahead. It doesn't bother

    me at all. And everytime, I enter my own world of dreams to get away. It doesn't affect me. No, it

    doesn't...

    And Masaki was the who introduced Ninomiya Kazunari to me.

    Nino was the prettiest man I had ever seen. I stood in wonder when I first saw him. He laughed

    (at the stupid look on my face he said) and just like that we got along. All three of us became

    fast friends. Maybe it was because we understood each other's loneliness. I did not have much

    time to spend with both of them though, because I had missions and my troop to attend to.

    Yet, the rumors did not escape me. What do they call Nino? A Witch? Masaki and I are

    infuriated (well, he shows it more than me.) But Nino just shrugs his shoulders and say he

    doesn't care. He always try to act strong.

    Nino, sometimes I think it's okay to show weakness. Don't you think?

    His armor doesn't crack. Though as the years go by and he only becomes more despised by the

    Empire, he shows no sign of breaking. Maybe in the end he's just like us. Masaki smiles like

    always even if his heart is bleeding. And me? I act as if Matsumoto's hatred doesn't hurt me and

    I go along with this competition between us.

    The Emperor continues to be possessive of Nino and infatuated, and the Empire continues to

    hate.

    Before long, I am surprised that Matsumoto and I are sent on a joint mission. The problem

    doesn't seem to be that important for the both of us to have to go. Right before I set forth on this

    journey, Nino stops me with a grin on his face. He said, "Have fun," and then I knew it was all

    HIS idea.

    This mission turns out badly in my case. More than ever I feel that tension between Matsumoto

    and me. His cold demeanor gets beneath the wall I have put up. I cannot zone out in peace and

    then my chest seems to ache. Matsumoto, I really like him. As a friend? From the time he was

  • 8/7/2019 in one breath, to love and to hate C2- the imperialists

    5/18

    born, I've always known about his existence. Always. He's such a big part of my life and already

    a part of me, but it's something he doesn't like.

    I know he acknowledge me for my skills, yet he doesn't give me his trust. On our journey,

    something's happening behind my back that I don't know. I have a right to. Irritation and

    frustration overwhelms me. I want a man like Matsumoto to believe in me. I want to think thatthere is some solid ground beneath my feet and that I am not falling. Thus, I often have this

    desire to reach out and touch him so that I feel his solid form underneath my hands. Now, its no

    longer just his name. It's the man himself beside me. He is so close yet I am afraid that he will

    disappear and that this unexplainable pain is a dream afterall.

    On the mission I overthink and my mind can't focus. I find myself in Matsumoto's tent one night,

    exhausted and tired, but I JUST have to ask him that one question. That one that keeps

    pestering my sanity until I can't sleep.

    He sits up and gape at my appearance. That perfect face. Those serious eyes.

    I crouch down to level with him and my head feels so heavy. I almost drop. The words come

    and I am forced to say, "You respect me, but you don't trust me." He knows it and I know it too.

    Ah... my heart seemed to hurt terribly, more than ever. "Why?" All my life I've been wondering. I

    want this answer.

    "You're my rival," Matsumoto replied so simply that for some reason I start to suffocate. Tonight,

    my armor's off and because of that the cracks are forming. They are visible. Why...?

    I want to feel Matsumoto around me. I am so lonely because of him, but deep within I know that

    only he can cure this emptiness. Only this one man can make my loneliness go away. I want

    him close. Without thinking I brush our lips together. A spur of the moment. Then I embrace him

    loosely. Somehow, feeling his warmth is a comfort. It seems so right...

    I want to tell Matsumoto that I am sorry. I know how much he hates me, but I cannot pull away.

    Tomorrow, tomorrow I will forget everything. I promise. Like that, darkness engulfs me as the

    exhaustion finally catches up. I'm truly sorry...

    The next day I wake up in my tent and by the looks of my Guards I know that it was not a

    dream. But I have pulled on my armor and as I vowed I will forget yesterday.

    The years following, I hear of Matsumoto's gorgeous fiance. She's the perfect lady, they all say.

    I'm happy, right? I think I am, but my smiles are crooked. Masaki and Nino says it looks creepy.

    I laugh at their playful insults yet this unknown pain burning in my chest doesn't fade.

    In the end, my problem is minor. Nino is in trouble.

    He comes barging into Aiba's chamber one day where we are chatting at a table and he shouts,

    "He's a fool!"

    "Who Nino?" Aiba asks.

  • 8/7/2019 in one breath, to love and to hate C2- the imperialists

    6/18

    And Nino drops down angrily into an empty chair. "Your cousin," he mutters.

    "Hiroshi?"

    I nod my understanding. The Emperor.

    Aiba then proceeds to question, "Why? What did he do?"

    It is an enormous problem. The Emperor wants Nino to be his legal wife. He would dethrone hisEmpress and the Heir in the process. How unthinkable! It's heresy! But his majesty is infatuated

    with Nino and even the man cannot impede his decision. He is set.

    The Empire splits. How sad.

    They all hate Nino and I hear that they want him killed. I have to protect my friend.

    I side with the Emperor, or in reality, with Nino. After we win this war, Nino will calm his majesty

    down. He doesn't want that title. He just wants everything to go back to normal!

    The Rebels are strong. It seems Matsumoto has been made the Commander. Due to this fact, I

    am raised to the same position. Their thinking: we are rivals and thus we will continue to be. I

    don't want it. I can't fight Matsumoto.

    They take the North and advance. Several weeks later, they also take the biggest trading town.

    Masaki confronts me in his full uniform and tells me to pick up my feet. To act! He is BirdMan

    and the Leader of the Special Unit. His group has warned me of all these attacks beforehand.

    It's my fault that I did not move.

    I clench my eyes shut and wipe away all my personal feelings. Alright. I know. I have to fight

    Matsumoto. I shut my heart down. With this goal, I begin to plan our attack.

    Masaki's Unit is a specially formed group of which was created several years back. His is theonly squad in the Empire, because they use Masaki's own inventions. He is the famous BirdMan

    of Miracles.

    I send his special unit to scout the Rebel's camp. I am with my lieutenant and generals, poring

    over a map when Nino comes into the room. The others give him hard looks, but I smile. Nino

    sits quietly while we discuss our options, then they leave and he approaches me.

    Before I have finished rolling up the map, he stops my hand with his embroidered fan. I look up

    and he holds my gaze. "I have a better strategy," he tells me with all seriousness. I know that

    my friend is intelligent and crafty. I listen attentively.

    That afternoon, I recall my generals to change our plans.

    Before long, I am on the battlefield and soldiers die around me. Men from the Rebel army and

    my own. More importantly, they are just men of our Empire. I do not see Matsumoto as I draw

    my sword and for that I am thankful. My strength would fail otherwise.

  • 8/7/2019 in one breath, to love and to hate C2- the imperialists

    7/18

    I plunge my weapon into one stomach, across the neck of the next enemy, and through the

    hand of another. Blood splatter on my clothes and my face. My lieutenant yells, "Commander,

    you don't have to be here!" Yes, I know. Like some of my no good generals, I could fight while

    surrounded by my own men, so that there'd be no chance of getting hurt. But I am a loyal man

    and I will not let my soldiers die for me without fighting back. I will stand at the forefront.

    The next opponent sees me and before he even draws breath, I have cut his arm in one swift

    motion. His comrades scream when they look pass the blood and grime on my face and

    recognize who I am.

    "It's Ohno!"

    "The ProdiGY!!!!"

    At any other time, I would have hesitated at hearing the fear in their voices, but at the moment

    all I think is that I am in battle and to pause is a fatal mistake. I am the wind. Using the grace

    and agility of my body, lightly I jump over the corpse of my last victim and grab the dead

    soldier's sword. In one deft motion, I have outmaneuvered two men. The two weapons slip pass

    their guard and pierces their neck. This time they can't even scream. And I push the blade in

    until they gurgle and die.

    The Rebels fall on the floor and I stare at what I have done. My mind is blank but my heart is

    filled with pity.

    "Commander!" my lieutenant yells at my left as if I don't notice the new opponent running my

    way with his spear in the air, exclaiming for me to die.

    I turn and order that worrywart of an attendent, "Don't watch my back! Go someplace where

    you're useful!" I care about my other men. I can't even look as I kill the Rebel with his own

    spear.

    It is a hard fight and we are almost overwhelmed. Yet in the end Nino's strategy comes through.

    My second general has followed the plan and brought his troop to their rear. The enemy panic.

    It seems that their head Commander is not here with them today.

    By dusk, the Rebels have retreated. Just stragglers running. There will be many prisoners.

    "We've WON!" my soldiers scream, exhausted but triumphant. They raise their weapons into the

    air. On the field, I gasp for breath and stare up at the orange sky. Perspiration runs down my

    face and beneath my bloodied armor. I am soaked with my own sweat. It is a victory, but I

    cannot be happy. The inhuman feeling of battle leaves me. There are too many deaths.

    Matsumoto, I think as I look up. Are you okay with this?

    The sky is still so damn pretty anyway.

    The IMPERIALISTS: Aiba Masaki

    I'm trapped.

    Hiroshi was the only son of our late Emperor, so I as our ruler's cousin stand next in line to the

    throne. That is, if the Empress doesn't give him a son. And for many years, that was what I

  • 8/7/2019 in one breath, to love and to hate C2- the imperialists

    8/18

    feared. Our Empress continues to be barren.

    When I turned ten, the Empress gives her first child. A girl. My excitement level fell.

    I don't want to rule. I want to be free.

    I continued to hope though, so that I don't lose my smile. I have to live out everyday to thefullest.

    Everyone knew me as cheerful and naive. I'm not THAT out of it. I'm totally serious when I'm

    doing my experiments.

    I've always dreamed of being able to fly. Since eight, I've been working towards that dream.

    I used to brag about my inventions to everyone around Court. They congratulated me with

    smiles everytime. Hiro-chan too. Then oneday I overheard the servants insulting my work and

    laughing. At that time I finally realized that people had many faces. They didn't really care about

    my inventions at all.

    When I found out, I had rushed to my room and cried my childish tears. Alright. I didn't blame

    anyone. But from that point on, I never showed what I made to anyone. Even Hiro-chan. I didn't

    know which reaction was genuine. Years later, I finally met someone who truly cared though.

    Someone who really thought I had something going: Ohno Satoshi.

    I met Riida when I was twelve and at Court. He had come with his father and he stood silently in

    a daze despite the revelry all around him. I remember that I stared and stared at him because

    he was so adorable, standing there looking like a chubby child or sleepy teddy bear in his over-

    sized formal robes. Really! And I very much wanted to be his friend.

    When I got that first smile out of him, I was truly happy.

    We became best friends, he and I. The nickname Riida originated from the times whenever we

    played games, that he inadvertantly became captain in every one of them. Plus the fact that he

    actually makes a funny leader was why the name stuck. Satoshi and I had great fun together.

    There were serious moments too. He never left me and I cross my heart that I would never

    leave him also. We'd be pals forever, right?

    I turned fifteen and completed my new pair of Jumpers at the same time. They wouldn't allow

    me flight, but they'd send me high enough that it'd just be like flying. I showed them to Satoshi.

    He was amazed and wanted to see me try them.

    We went to one of the towers and we were so excited, we weren't thinking. (No way! We WERE

    thinking. We were!) And I attached the Jumpers to my legs. I pushed off. A gust of wind rushed

    pass me.

    Riida had that blank look on his face that showed how empty his mind was and I laughed really

    hard up in the sky. I was so free! If you don't call this freedom, then what is!? Just to show off,

  • 8/7/2019 in one breath, to love and to hate C2- the imperialists

    9/18

    each time I landed, I jumped further away from the tower.

    "Masaki, don't!" he shouted, suddenly in a panic. I can't figure out why. Nothing will happen.

    Before long, Satoshi was just a speck in that building and I was having the time of my life. I

    neared the forest and pushed off sideways towards the heart. From up high, I could see the

    trees beneath me. They were so small. I hollered in ecstasy. That is, until I realized that therewas nowhere safe to land. Dammit! But the real problem was that I had reached the pinnacle of

    my jump and was now falling. The dark forest below me appeared so menacing this time.

    I screamed and screamed. I'm going to DIEEEE!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAfghs#h@skgsdfdcxxxxxx!!!!

    My head hits a tree branch. Oof! I black out and thankfully.

    I wake up and find myself hanging from my torn robes in a tree. I have to be grateful that I

    haven't smashed into the ground because then I would've really died. My body hurts all over

    and I taste blood on my lips. There's also dried blood on my face. It's caked over my left eye

    and I can't open it to look around me.

    That was how I met Momo.

    She was the most gentle person I ever knew. There was only kindness in her.

    In that part of the forest where she had come to gather herbs, she got me down and took care of

    me. Though I was a stranger and she did not know my Imperial identity, her hands were full of

    warmth. She nursed me back to health on her own. Like that, she captured me.

    Afterwards, I continued to return to meet her. She was only a few years older, yet she lived

    alone and owned a small apothecary. An orphan. But it was not her situation that made me love

    her. It was the sweetness of her eyes and the softness of her voice. She was the opposite of myboisterous nature and she was the calm to my storm.

    What got to me was that when Momo learned that I was the Emperor's Cousin, she pushed me

    away. She wanted nothing to do with me. Why? I asked her. Why now when I am someone of

    importance?

    "You and I can't be together," she stated.

    I know. I already knew. I had grown to love her. This is not childish admiration. The feeling came

    from deep within my heart. Yet I was not naive enough to believe that we could be together. Not

    a commoner and I, especially that I am next in line to rule.

    But I believed that we could be friends, that we could continue to hold on to each other. There's

    no crime in that.

    I spent several days persuading her, standing outside in the sun, in the middle of the night, and

    even through the rain. In the end, I counted on her feelings for me to change her mind. It did.

    In the thunderstorm I stood, freezing and soaked to the skin and she ran out to embrace me.

  • 8/7/2019 in one breath, to love and to hate C2- the imperialists

    10/18

    She cried and gave in. I wrapped my arms around her thin body and at that time I did not regret.

    In the end it's all my fault.

    If only I had listened to her. If only I had left Momo like she wished.

    That one night inside her home as we warmed up before the fire, I made love to her. And afterthat I could not hold my heart back.

    Hiro-chan found out about my attachment to Momo and advised me to break it off, but by then it

    was too late.

    I had not followed my own rules. Even though I knew we couldn't be together, I suddenly began

    wishing. I want to be with Momo forever.

    "You're only fifteen," Satoshi told me.

    Riida, that doesn't mean I don't have this ability to love her. It does not mean my love is me

    overthinking.

    I spent my days helping Momo around her store. Those times, I wish I were just a normal

    person, a mere commoner. I want to marry Momo when we become older. I'll stay like this until I

    find a way. There's a lot of years ahead of me.

    The moments with her were pure bliss.

    I grind her dry herbs into powder and whenever I sweat, she's there to wipe my forehead. I'd

    laugh and thank her and she'd smile. The sun would shine through the cracks in her house. It'd

    be the best day ever.

    In the fall, instead of hiring a boy to cut her firewood for the winter, I did. At dusk, Momo would

    come out to call me in for dinner. Later at the Palace I'd turn away from the fine feast that wasmy normal meal.

    Then Satoshi told me.

    He grabbed me by the shoulders and said, "You've got to stop, Masaki! You're the future ruler.

    She's just a peasant! They'll do something to her!" I finally opened my eyes. I began to hear the

    whispering behind my back, those I had not paid attention to before: Remove her. No one

    knows. No one cares.

    Hiro-chan loved me and so he convinced the Counselors to spare her life, but she would be

    exiled.

    No! No way! I can't live without Momo! At my young age, I panic. My head was chaotic. Life

    without her was just too unbearable.

    "You'll forget her," Hiroshi said. "You're still young." I don't think so.

    That very night, I ran away. With Momo, we disappeared into the forest. We're going

    somewhere far. Wherever, but just together.

  • 8/7/2019 in one breath, to love and to hate C2- the imperialists

    11/18

    The third night, we heard the dogs.

    Momo and I were so afraid, but she continued to be strong and promised to stay by my side.

    While we ran through the forest, I clutched her hand and thanked the Gods that it was her I fell

    in love with. She was everything that I need.

    The fourth day, we were exhausted and tired. Momo had begun to throw her belongings away."I don't need anything if I can only be with Masaki," she told me. It was okay for her to start a

    new life with absolutely nothing. I admired her and so I said the same, throwing my own sack

    down. As long as I get to be with Momo, I don't need anything too.

    That very same night, our pursuers followed us to the edge of a cliff. In the clearing free of the

    forest, I stopped and stared down. Below was death. Beside me, Momo gasped and her hand

    tightened around mines. I turned around and saw that those who hunted us was a whole army.

    "Get away from her!" the captain shouted.

    "NO!" I yelled. I can't leave Momo. It was torture.

    "This is the last warning."

    She buried her head in my chest. What were we to do? We were so scared.

    At that tense moment, I knew. I would do anything for her. I hugged her and whispered as my

    heart raced with my realization, "We're going to be together, whether its this life or the next,

    Momo." Even if it meant death, we would jump. Against me, I felt her shake her head.

    "Away from her now or we will shoot the girl!" the captain warned. He raised his hand and the

    archers notched their arrows.

    Momo pulled away from me then but she continued to hold my hand. "You can't die," shewhispered to my suggestion. Her words were terrifying. It was her who had the ability to kill me,

    not them. I listened in fear. She said that which was only audible to me, "Masaki, I love you. So

    let's go back and wait it out, okay? Talk to the Emperor. Let everyone calm down." Her eyes

    held mines and I see her sincerity, her belief that everything would work out.

    She had that power over me. Only she could soothe me so easily. I relaxed. Alright. Okay.

    Everything's going to be fine.

    "Fire!" the captain shouted when he saw that we were unmoving.

    No fucking way! If only they had waited! I drowned in disbelief.

    I had to protect her. No! Even if I had to put my life on the line, she was the most important

    person to me.

    I jumped in front and lost my breath. The arrow aimed at her shot through my left lung. Intense

    pain tears through my chest. Unbearable... I can't breathe! I gag. Something heavy pulls me

    forward unto the ground and I realize through my blindess that it is Momo beneath me. Terror

    grips my whole body along with the nauseating pain.

  • 8/7/2019 in one breath, to love and to hate C2- the imperialists

    12/18

    I want to shout Momo. What's happening!? The tears are overwhelming. I can't see. Ugh... No...

    Hands break the arrow and pull me away and I am gasping for air as I look through the

    dizziness. Momo stares straight at me with dead eyes.

    The moment of truth... she had moved in front. The arrow went straight through her heart to hitme.

    I cried as they dragged me from her and only the welcoming darkness took away my pain.

    When I woke, Satoshi was there. Only him. He held me and the both of us wept together for my

    loss.

    They've done it. She has become immortal in my heart.

    I hate them for taking her away, but it hurts me because I can understand why.

    And I hate Momo for leaving me to live out the rest of my life with only her memory. I hate her

    and yet that is only because I still love her so much.

    In Court, there is nothing to do but grow up. No one gives you sympathy. And I learned to hide

    my pain and soon no one thought I remembered. They're wrong. Every time I find it difficult to

    breathe I think of her. That's the scar she has left behind.

    One year passed. Two. Then three and four. The time becomes unimportant. The Empress

    continued to be barren and I'm still trapped. I have buried my sadness so deep that none can

    tell. Sometimes I'm able to convince myself that I'm okay.

    I laugh beside Riida and I perfect my inventions. In the end, I've got Jumpers that will go longdistances either sideways or up and down. I have modified weapons that could be resized into a

    smaller knife. Amplifiers for hearing. Much more. With Riida's encouragement, I appealed to

    Hiroshi for the formation of a Special Unit under my leadership. He was thrilled.

    So it was that I spend my time with my unit, helping it grow and achieve it's goals. The team was

    my pride and we succeed in our tasks to help on missions. My unit became a well-known group

    and maybe I couldn't be happier. I attained the name of BirdMan, mostly because of my

    specially enhanced Jumper, and because they called me a man of miracles.

    Around that time was when Ninomiya Kazunari was brought to Court. The same year the

    Empress got pregnant. (With my luck, it's a girl again for sure.) Hiroshi had seen the man about

    to be sold into a brothel and had taken him in.

    I first saw Nino, and I froze. They had the same eyes, the same nose, and the same lips. He

    was almost my Momo. But of course he was NOT. Yet I keep on thinking, coming back. I stuck

    to Nino so fast because it was like being with her.

    When I introduced Nino to Satoshi, I almost messed up.

  • 8/7/2019 in one breath, to love and to hate C2- the imperialists

    13/18

    Because of that, I watched the concubine. In the end, I fell in love with Kazunari.

    I did not see it as a betrayal to the Emperor. I was in pain and there was only Nino to comfort

    me.

    During that first year, I kept thinking of Ninomiya, Hiroshi's concubine, and I couldn't stop. Nino'slush lips. His sly smile that was so warming all the same. That kindness hidden beneath the

    wicked mask.

    On the night that the Empress gave birth, Hiroshi was away to await the news.

    I went to Nino's chamber. He was not surprised by my entrance. He did not even turn to look at

    who had entered.

    "I kinda figured," he stated with a sigh like there was nothing to be done. "You were always

    looking at me." Ah, so he already knew my feelings!

    He sat on his bed dressed in two consecutive loose robes, his one knee raised. Yet, the outer

    was a see-through garment and thus only one layer of clothing covered his pale skin. I gulped.

    Kazunari threw his fan down and stretched his arms, inviting me without a word. Finally.

    I rushed into them and kissed him hard. His mouth was soft. Warm. It was everything. Just like

    Momo. I pushed the robes down his shoulders, exposing his white neck and his chest. Beautiful.

    And I kissed my way down. His skin was so smooth and soft, like velvet. It was addicting. Nino

    moaned in my arms. My hand found his shaft and I rubbed him. He smelled like the sun and a

    garden in full bloom. Inticing.

    As I made love to Nino, I couldn't stop trying to remember. I tried to squeeze that memory back,that one night with her. The night with my Momo. My erection became heavy and irritating and I

    had a need to bury it deep within him. I lifted Kazunari's slender legs and found his small hole.

    Now?

    Nino hit my hand and he pulled away. He was pissed. "Masaki, you! That's not how you fuck a

    man. You prepare him first and you use some oil!"

    I stared dumbly at my partner.

    As if on cue, the door opened and someone stepped in. In a flash, I find myself in darkness.

    Kazunari had covered me with a blanket and pressed himself on top of me.

    "What is it?" he snapped at the intruder.

    "Concubine, the birth has gone well."

    "Which one?" I heard him ask. Boy or girl?

    "The Empress has conceived a son. The Heir."

    I couldn't think.

  • 8/7/2019 in one breath, to love and to hate C2- the imperialists

    14/18

    When the messenger left and the blanket was thrown off me, my mind was blank. I couldn't

    comprehend what I had heard. Nino, with his clothes even looser now around his shoulders, his

    legs and thighs partially exposed, stared at me. "What's wrong?"

    It finally came. In that moment, something had lifted from my shoulders.

    I realized I am free. What irony. AUGH!! I started to weep uncontrollably. My heart hurts so bad.If only I had met Momo now. We would've had our chance! Maybe she wouldn't have died...

    Nino hugged me and I clung to him as I cried harder. Ah... I know now. I don't love Kazunari. I

    am still so much in love with my beautiful Momo, and it'll probably be forever. Nino, like the pal

    he is, patted me on the back to tell me that I can take my time. I laid my head on his shoulder

    and I gasped for breath. I'm suffocating.

    Later when I have calmed down, Nino tells me that no harm has been done.

    And while he has entered my heart as a best friend, I promised that I will protect him. This time,

    I'm given the chance and I won't fail another person.

    That is why when the war broke out, my loyalty was given without question. Of course, I would

    stand under Hiro-chan anyway, but my whole soul belongs to protecting Kazunari. He is NOT a

    Witch. He is just a gorgeous man with mesmering eyes and a mischevious smile.

    Soon, the Rebels took the North and advanced. They are unstopped so in their wake they have

    taken all that they passed.

    I force Satoshi to step up. I know he has a soft-spot for Matsumoto, yet this is not the time.

    Kazunari is in trouble and only if achieve victory will everything be alright. Because... those

    people, if they win they will have no mercy for Nino.

    Through my words, Satoshi gathers his determination.

    He wins the first few battles and has lost a couple. Those losses cannot be helped anyway. The

    Rebels were one step ahead of us those times, the work of a spy. But, I know our brilliant Nino

    has been helping Satoshi. Kazunari is not a man who will sit back without doing anything. And

    so our wins and losses have tied with the Rebel Army. Lately though, it seems that Kazunari

    has stopped giving ideas for some reason. It's not a problem, but I'm worried about him all the

    same. I don't understand why.

    Riida continues gain victories nonetheless. That's a relief! No way will we fall behind.

    Now that we've come this far, the next battle is a turning point. It is a fight for the largest fort in

    the Empire. The winner will have a BIG advantage. And, Matsumoto will come at us with

    everything he's got. We have to be prepared.

    It is into this important battle that my unit is entering any minute. I hear the sounds of fighting,

    weapons clanging, men dying. "Captain!" a man call as I strap on my Jumpers. "The team's

    set!"

  • 8/7/2019 in one breath, to love and to hate C2- the imperialists

    15/18

    The orders Satoshi had given me last night run through my head again.

    Find the generals in battle. Once they are knocked down, it'll be easy to round up the soldiers

    who will be lost with no one to command them.

    Summoning my courage, I pull on my handguard and shield, then straighten. "Right. Let's go."

    The field is littered with bodies, both of Rebels and Imperialists. I have five men at my shoulder,

    all ready to leap in. My heart is racing and already sweat is forming on my brow. I take a deep

    breath and remind my men, "Remember your whistle." Around my neck is my own.

    We launch into the sky, over the raging battlefield.

    From far above, I watch the fight. One Rebel overcomes our man. Two Imperialists wound three

    of theirs. I have reached the pinnacle of my jump and start falling. I don't panic. Instead, I look

    through a scope down at the soldiers. General...general... where!?

    "It is BirdMan!" The voices from below starts to become audible.

    "BirdMan!" Some full of fear. Others are f illed with awe and triumph.

    Then the arrows come.

    I curl my feet and hide behind my shield. The clank of metal striking metal deafens me for a

    moment. Soon, the barrage of arrows stop and I land. Quickly I look up while taking a deep

    breath as Rebels run at me. They clutch their swords and raise their weapons

    screaming,"DIEEEE!!!" Stupid.

    I jump into the sky before they catch me. Now where!? Where are the generals! My heart

    continues to pound loudly in my ears. I cannot fail Satoshi. I just can't!

    As soon as the rush of air blows pass me, I look through my scope again. At that moment, a

    screech whines through the area. Yes! They've found one!

    The Rebels are confused. Our soldiers turn towards the noise, trying to fight their way to our

    target. Satoshi has told our men of the plan. I watch and I become frustrated. Not many are

    making progress. I see the Rebel's general now. Dammit!

    But at that moment through the throng of soldiers I see one man passing through the ranks like

    the wind. It is RIIDA!!! He is a true Warrior. Soldiers back away in fear as he moves through

    them so gracefully, like a butterfly. Those with enough guts stand in his way and they all fall

    back with severed limbs, blood pouring from their cuts. Genius!

    Satoshi enters into a fight with this Rebel general. Of course, this man is no regular foot soldier.

    He has the blood of a Warrior too. As they struggle, I turn my attention away. I have to find the

    others. That is my task. I believe that Satoshi will come through in the end. Afterall, no one can

    beat him. His only rival will always be Matsumoto.

  • 8/7/2019 in one breath, to love and to hate C2- the imperialists

    16/18

    An hour later, two men of my unit have fallen. I now only see three besides myself and yet we

    have only found one leader. I become more frustrated and afraid. How much longer would this

    battle last? We're running out of time? The next second, I hear another whistle breaking the

    atmosphere. This time, our soldiers are there and they surround the target. Yes!

    I am foolish enough to abandon my task for a second. I launch into the sky and look for Satoshi.He is protected by his lieutenant and men. He is exhausted after so many killings. I fear for him.

    Riida! He should stay back. He can't die here!

    As the second general falls, it seems Commander Matsumoto has gotten the gist of our plan.

    Two more of my members are killed.

    "BirdMan, retreat!" I hear someone yell. What?

    "Retreat! Retreat BirdMan!" I understand it now. The lieutenant is yelling. The Imperialists near

    me are screaming. I meet Satoshi's eyes for the command.

    He takes a deep, difficult breath and nods. I feel inadequate and overwhelmed. I haven't done

    enough, but I obey. I have to protect him, but there's nothing I can do.

    By the camp, I help the medics bring in the injured soldiers. Some are dying anyway, but many

    can be saved. It is a tiresome task. The rest of my members are spread out helping. By evening,

    we are tired.

    Yet it is this time that I hear someone in the distance shouting. What?

    "Quiet!" I order. All around me, the people silence except for the moaning and dying men. I

    strain my ears to hear what this messenger is saying as he makes his way here. "They've

    retreated! We've won! We've won!"I couldn't believe my ears. My heart is pounding so hard, I can't be sure that my mind isn't

    making the words up. All around me, the people cheer. They burst into tears. My Jumpers are

    still on and I leap into the sky so that I reach the battlefield sooner. Satoshi!

    In the air, I see our soldiers limping their way back to camp in groups. I land and ask one of

    them about our Commander. They say that he's in the far back. He's fine.

    I go to him anyway.

    Satoshi has cuts over his face and his right arm is bleeding, but other than that he is okay. I

    embrace him tightly in relief. Yes! He's alright! And its another victory! The most important so

    far! This is our advantage! Finally, we might end this war yet!

    Riida coughs and pats my arm. I'm too energetic for him. "You did a great job, Masaki," he tells

    me after I have calmed down.

    I frown. "No. Riida, it's you!"

    He tries to smile, but I can tell he's really too exhausted. His face is all dirty and smudged with

    dust. I run a hand down his cheek to try and wipe some of the grime away and he doesn't stop

  • 8/7/2019 in one breath, to love and to hate C2- the imperialists

    17/18

    me. He went on and says, "No, your group was perfect. They lost half of their soldiers after two

    generals went down. The rest of the fight was an effort to stay alive." He sighs and stares off

    into the distance.

    "Satoshi?" I start because I am surprised by his action. Is something bothering him?

    "I didn't see him," he mutters almost inaudibly. Who? I want to know. He doesn't explain andtells me to go back to the battlefield.

    "Please Masaki, make sure there's no one alive back there. I want everyone breathing to be

    brought back to camp, Imperialist or not." Even the Rebels he meant. Such a kind commander.

    It touches me. I hug him tightly once more before I go to do his favor.

    It is getting dark. I take my time to fulfill Riida's wish. I bend down every second to check the

    pulse of every soldier. Other men accompany me and together we have round up a few

    survivors.

    As we head back to our base, a shadow falls across my path. I stop and draw a knife. I don't

    have my shield, damn! I realize that I am all alone as the other men have gone.

    In the moonlight, I cannot see the face of this stranger. Yet, I see the emblem on his armor. A

    Rebel!

    "The battle's over!" I shout. I stretch out the knife and it becomes a sword. I'm as good as a

    common footsoldier with this weapon, and that's really saying nothing. I begin to sweat, but it's

    best to act confident. Yea.

    However, the Rebel does not approach. He stays hidden in the darkness.

    My blood boils. What does he want!? "Why are you here?" I bellow, unsure of myself.

    Finally, he speaks bitterly. "You have taken two of my generals today. And... you have gained

    this advantage."

    He's stating the obvious. I could have laughed, but then it is fear that grips me instead. NO! A

    sudden uncontrollable quivering overtakes my body. I recognize the voice. The one I have

    heard so often at Court.

    It is the Rebel Commander, Matsumoto! I realize now that he was the person Satoshi meant he

    had not seen.

    Matsumoto!? The weapon in my hand seems like a toy now. The man could kill me in one

    instant and I wouldn't notice. He's THAT skilled with the sword. A prodigy of his own.

    But he doesn't attack. Matsumoto lowers his voice. He whispers so that I could barely hear, "I

    will grab another advantage, BirdMan. You have taken two of my generals... so I promise. I will

    take your Commander."

    Just like that, he disappears into the dark night. I am shocked. I am AFRAID.

  • 8/7/2019 in one breath, to love and to hate C2- the imperialists

    18/18

    I fall on the ground, trembling. I do not know Matsumoto personally, but there's one thing I know

    about him.

    He's a man of his word.

    Harada RenOur Commander is furious.

    The soldiers are lying around, groaning as their wounds are being looked to. I run through the

    camp trying to give aid where I can. From the Command tent, something crashes. Everyone is

    startled. I look up in time to see Lieutenant Sakurai leave the Commander's tent. He walks

    under the flap and to his tethered horse.

    I rush over to him. "Mr. Sakurai, is the Commander okay?" I ask anxiously. We have lost this

    battle, but there are many more to come. We shouldn't lose hope. We can't! The Witch can't

    win.

    Lieutenant Sakurai gives me a warm, reassuring smile. It eases me. "He'll be fine after he lets

    off some steam," he tells me. Then he mounts his horse.

    I realize he's about to leave. Where? I've noticed a long time ago that he's not usually around

    after a battle. He's SO busy. "Where are you going?" I ask. He's like an older brother and unlike

    when I'm with the Commander, I feel as if I can be myself around the lieutenant. I can ask

    anything.

    Again he grins down at me. He winks and says, "It's a secret." With just that mysterious answer,

    he rides off and I stare in wonder at his back. Lieutenant Sakurai is a real, admirable man. The

    woman he loves... that special person should feel lucky.

    * * *