Get Those pieces of

$**T off my yard!!!

Dan Nokes

Part 3 Of 12

Alan Grissom is a low paid service worker, gaining employment at the local convenience store, and living in a dilapidated trailer home in the middle of nowhere, Nevada. Like many of this state, he hates his job, loathes his routine, and laments his life in general. The big difference is that his job is at the fabled AREA 51, which contains THE LAST PIT STOP: A convenience store for aliens. Its here that Alan ply's his trade alongside fellow employees Bud: An incect humanoid who enjoys chemical ingestion, disrespecting authority, and being surly and disrespectful to customers and coworkers, Margaret: The human assistant manager who is anal retentive and trying to get into the corporate ladder, Maylene: A sweet alien girl next door that Alan has a crush on, and Portis: An slug like humanoid who claimed to be a peace officer at one time. He is the current general manager of the store. They were joined by enthusiastic but annoying new employee Gilbert! That about sums it up in a bow! Here’s chapter 3 enthusiastic readers!

21st Century Sandshark

Studios Presents

Impossible

Space Tales Of

The Last Pit Stop

Part Three Lloyd

Conceived

written and art

by:

Dan Nokes

Impossible Space Tales of The Last Pit Stop Part 2

GILBERT, Published January 2013

21st Century Sandshark Studios

All Characters, stories, and concepts are the intellectual property of Dan Nokes 2013

Here is a brief synopsis Of what happened in the

the first TWO ISSUES

Have fun with the

miserable old

bastard! I’m

gonna do

something more

constructive ,

like…I dunno…

watch dust

settle?!

You do

that in

any case

bud!

The Last Pit Stop Area 51 8:02 pm

The “Miserable old

bastard” Bud is talking

about is lloyd.

He is area 51’s one and

only permanent

resident.

He’s the reason any of this is here in

the first place..

Mind you this fact does

nothing to improve the

codger’s disposition or

manners…

I come to his place a

lot on my lunch

breaks. Gives me a

sense of perspective…

1

I do!

And

don’t

worry!

The beer

is nice

and cold

this time!

You better

have my

smokes and

brew, if you’re

even

considering

stepping on

my nice clean

lawn, ya’

prattling

hairless

chimp!

That and were

contractually obligated to

provide and deliver his

groceries for free for

life… Well? You gonna

just stand there and

gawk like the ugliest

lawn ornament I have

ever laid eyes upon?

My beer’s

not getting

any

colder?!

2

You want me

to drop

these off

on the

counter.?

Tak’em up to the

roof! There’s

some BBQ up

there. help

yourself kid.

You have

any

tourists

stop by?

Thankfully

no! Nice

quiet day

devoid of

those damn

parasites!

You’d miss

them if they

left

altogether?

That Earth

Humor? Explain

why you

hairless chimps

haven't gotten

past your own

moon?!

TALMARCHIAN INTERSTELLAR

CULTURAL HERITAGE CENTER

AND RESERVE

3

So I got another comuni-

k from those morons at

PIT that there have been

some complaints about

my “Lack of friendliness

and positive attitude?”

You

worried?

I dunnno?

Hell no! What are

those greedy

pencil pushers

gonna do to me?!

Can they

penalize

you for

anything?

Im the reason

they can do

any of this

kid! I go, the

gas station

goes with me!

4

A few moments later…

Hi kids! This is Lloyd! I’ll be

narrating this portion of yer’

funny book! So sit back and

shut the hell up! Now where

to begin? My kind. The TALMARCHIANs, have

unusually long life spans as life

forms go: A few billion earth years

on average. That and the fact that

we can go centuries at a time

without food sleep. Or water made

us perfect for the interstellar

shipping industry.

I was one of those stupid

Talmarchians that was

too thick and unmotivated

to get a decent job. So I

became a space trucker. I was lugging nEUTANIUM

from Orkram IV to the

central processing world.

Without hyperdrive it takes

about 1000 years to cover

the distance

5

A few hundred thousand miles from Earth

65.2 million years ago..

You see, Hyperdrives cost money.

Hyperbaric chambers cost money. Crews

cost money. Our good friends at the

P.I.T*. found out millions of years ago,

that they could save a fortune in

transport costs by employing my people

at near slave wages! *P.I.T.- Phytocom

Intergalactic Tricorporate

Now like I said, our species

lives a few billion years. A

bonus of that is that we tend

to percieve time differently

than most other beings. Being

in space this long for most

others would drive them mad..

Now I did

occasionally tend

to “rest my eyes”

for a minute or

two

No big deal

for the most

part.

Except two other

things my employers

didn’t install on

these rigs.

Autopilot and long range

sensors..

6

Doesn’t mean it was a bowl of

smiles and happy fun times…

Woke up to a nasty meteor

storm

7

Ship got dinged to

high heaven…

Engines were

severely damaged

I didn’t have much time

to react. I was about

to become a

screaming smores

courtesy of Earth’s

atmosphere!

Not much time to

react…

I’d figured I’d rather get

canned for derelict of

duty. Then fry to a crisp.

So I bailed my

cargo and hoped

for the best

WARNING: HAZARDOUS MATERIAL

Product is not to be opened without special equipment and by level 5 materials handler. Materials are hazardous, toxic, flammable, and

dangerous. This item is a schedule 1 item by the 4th Interstellar confrence. Mishandling or illegal posession can

result in 20 cycles in prison and a 100,000 credit fine.

Unfortunately

the trailer made

their way into

the lower

atmosphere.

Now

Neutonium

is like nitro

on crack.

Times an

assload of

hurt.

Their kept in special

containers that keep them

stable.

8

But hurtling smack dab into a

planet at super sonic speed

tends to ding and bend even the

best containers.

Meanwhile I managed

to crash-land

nearby..

I was

salvageable. My

ride however…not

so much.

I thought the

worst of it was

over…

Not even friggin

close!

Great…Just

Great!

9

Now while some of you

may think what is about to

transpire here, makes me

some sort of incompetent

destroyer of worlds.

Consider this!

If my accidently dumping

of 300 tons of toxic

mega explosives hadn't

of killed the dinosaurs.

None of you would be

here reading this right

now.

Food for thought

eh?

You’re welcome!

10

Fortunately I was

just out of range

of the worst of the

blast!

Mind you: my barely

unsalvageable ride

was now upgraded

to total piece of

crap!

Also took me

a day or two

to dig myself

out?

I was breathing in

and out though. So

I guess that counted

for something?

I immediately sprung

into action, took

stock of my

provisions, and

waited for a rescue.

Well this most

likely is gonna

come out of my

last paycheck…

11

I got a signal out. I

figured the local

authorities would

have me in a decade

or two tops..

I managed to recover the

emergency shelter from

the wreck! That lasted a

while.

But after a geologic

epoch or two went by. I

thought I might of got

lost in the system…

So you’re the

dominant life

form now?

You don’t look

like much!?

Hey Skippy!

That’s my fruit

tree! Bad..Er!

Whatever the

hell you are!

About 50 or 60

million years I

started to get

bored.

I thought I saw everything

this planet had to offer…

Then the hairless

chimps arrived!

Got damp

around

here

awfully

quick?

Sentient

life! Just

friggin

dandy! 12 They were sporadic and

harmless at first…

But then you decided to get

annoying with that society, culture

and religion thing?

By The last few centuries

I just decided to use my

mental abilities to

scramble what lone

traveler or caravan

crossed my path…

By a decade or four ago.

I was having serious

doubts about my rescue

Then in 47’ I got a rude

awakening!

Really! You

primates will make

anything your god

given half that

chance?!

Well lookie

what I see!

That

firewater in

Carson city

works a

powerful

mojo I

reckon!

Keep it up zeke!

I’ll have you

thinking you’re a

cactus on fire in

no time flat!

Heh! Bunch

of

amateurs!

I don’t

think weve

met before

mister

monkey?

Lloydela

Brelskin?

Name was

General Martin

Chambers

13

I had an impromptu

meeting with the

good general and a

rep from the PIT.

Some hack from

Legal with a smile as

fake as a 3 dollar

bill!

TARG? I

thought the

Krelgs were

running the

pit?

Mister

Belskin!

This is

RELDTANKIIN

TARG.

Pleasure to

m eet you

sir!

I get

stranded for

a couple of

eons and all

hell breaks

loose?

I don’t really

give a flying

one! I don’t

care about

your cargo

either! Just

get me my

damn ride

home!

I would like to do

that mister Belskin!

But there are a

few…complications.

14

Im afraid

first off

your

homeworld

was

destroyed

in a super

nova eons

ago?

I’d like you

to stop

touching me

while I

process

this.

That little

“mishap” with

your cargo

created an

anti-matter rift

right around

this spot you

live on!

But we have

an exciting

proposal

for you sir!

Now as

much we

would like

to tap that

resource,

this world

is class 5

and off

limits to us

However:

Mister

Targ’s

people have

found a

loophole..

You sir, as far

as we know, are

the last

survivor of the

Talmarchian

race.

As such the Interstellar

conference with consent

from a well compensated

U.S. Government, have

declared this area a

cultural reservation and

under the jurisdiction of

the Ministry of tourism

and cultural heritage..

15

So that’s how this

place became a 3rd

rate tourist trap

complete with

lukecrappy stop

and shop, Come

see the last

Talmarchian, gas

up and grab some

sugary snacks in

one go?!

Meaning with your

cooperation. I

believe we can

find an agreement

we can all benefit

from.

So you

killed the

dinosaurs?

In my

opinion they

had it

coming

anyway…

Excuse me!

Swell…

16

Your first

tourists of

the day I

believe?

Let me

get

gussied

up and

greet

my

public.

Look son!

The last

Talmarchian!

Behold his

majesty

This is

beyond

lame dad!

I gotta get back

to work Lloyd.

I’ll see you when I

get off at

midnight.

Whatever kid!

Have fun and

smok’em if ya’

got’em!

Excuse me!

But can my

son take a

quick picture

with you! It

would mean

so much to

him!

Yea

whatever?

Hold yer

damn

horses!

End Chapter

3 17