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Copyleft Michael Lidman 2009 Paypal jacksmernov@yahoo.com

White House Announces: A Nuclear Reactor in Every Hummer

DETROIT-- In an effort to save the Hummer brand of SUV's, the White House has included a lastminute provisions to transfer nuclear technology as part of a bailout plan for GM. After a short time toretool, GM plans to reintroduce a new line of Hummers which use nuclear reactors instead of gasoline

engines to help save the environment while reducing the nations dependency on foreign oil. We hopeto have the first newly designed Hummer, unofficially dubbed the HC, out by 2010. a GM spokes person explained at the press conference.

Dr. Gray Balhab, who is heading the team from Los Alamos over seeing the project, was at the pressconference to explain the details of the design of the reactors being given to GM as part of the now 21

billion dollar plan to bail out the US auto manufacturing industry. These are liquid fast breeder reactors that produce more fuel as they are used by a process of irradiating non-radioactive isotopes of heavy elements. A GM spokesman was quick to add The Hummer consumer will be pleased to hear that the new Hummer HC will still have the lowest fuel rating of any SUV on the market. Thanks tothe design of Dr Balhab's reactor, the HC will be the first Hummer with a negative MPG rating.

When asked about safety concerns from collisions Dr Balhab assured the press that each reactor would be encased in materials strong enough to be dropped from space. We will test each reactor bydropping it from space. Only reactors which survive such a collision with the ground will be used. Noword was given at the conference on what will be done with the reactors that fail to survive the impactfrom the test procedure.

Breeder reactors will convert thorium into uranium 233 which will decay to produce plutonium. As part of normal maintenance the reactors will have to be recycled every few years. Ultracentrifugesoriginally used to produce the United States thermonuclear arsenal will be employed to refineradioactive waste produced by the operation of the reactors. Dr. Balhab added. The reactor should

have a half life of 500,000 miles. The cost of the refueling will be offset by the removal of the plutonium which will be used to fight the global war on terror.

Engineers from the Hummer development team had to contend with the problem that the newHummers would not produce much noise. An engineer from GM unveiled a new system which operates

by producing sound from an electric spark baffled through a series of chrome plated pipes to create anauthentic rumbling sound. Market research showed little interest in a Hummer with a lowenvironmental impact that was also quite. To compensate for this, the electric arch sound system solves

both of these problems first by producing an imposing sound, second by fixing nitrogen from the air which will react with water in the atmosphere producing nitric acid rain. This will have the added

benefit of increasing nitrogen in the soil producing greater fertility on the nations farm land while at thesame time increasing dead zones in the ocean.

Dr. Balhab, anticipating the success of the new line of radioactive Hummers, announcing that a secondgeneration reactor design was already in the works. The difficulty in fully converting matter intoenergy is the stability of the proton which can only be eliminated by anti-protons. I am confident that

by the end of 2012 we will have a reactor which can fully convert mater into energy available to thegeneral public. The GM spokes person added We are looking forward to Dr Balhabs prediction that

by the end of the Mayan calendar we will have a product that will allow the loyal Hummer consumer tocontinue in the tradition of driving the most imposing vehicle on the road while at the same time slowlycanceling out reality itself.