How to get people to share and talk.pptx

7/28/2019 How to get people to share and talk.pptx

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How to get people to share and talk

A three-step model


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A three-step model

Step 1: provide SAFE SPACE; Feeling of

safety will encourage the victims to open

up and reveal details of their ordeal:provide unrestricted space for

participants to share their stories.


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Step 2: involve trauma sufferers in

CONSTRUCTIVE COMMUNICATION

Listen attentively, respectfully and

compassionately; this will help them

share their stories. Step 3: LISTEN ACTIVELY: Active listening

allows one to understand and empathize,

facilitates reconnection with ones socialenvironment and helps the victim to

restore his/her place in society.


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Tips for providing safe space

Include basic values in the ground rules

that are formulated at the beginning of a

meeting / workshop / training session:Respect

Confidentiality

Commitment


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The meeting venue being a sacred space

(all that is told here stays between thewalls of this room; feel free to share from

the bottom of your heart)

Be accurate in keeping the rules: do nothesitate to correct participants whose

behaviour does not reflect the ground

rules (especially during the session whentrauma stories are shared).


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Availability: give the participants the

feeling that you are available for them even

after training hours. This will give them asense of reassurance.

Open up yourself: do not be afraid to show

your vulnerability and share your own

traumatic experiences. Be a real wounded

healer.

Honesty: be genuine and keep your

promises. Say what you mean and mean

what you say.


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Giving and receiving feedback

Giving and receiving feedback is an

essential part of the communication

process. It is used to check whether you have

been understood like you intended; or to

test if you understood correctly what hasbeen communicated to you.


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In that way, feedback is a continuous

process in which most people participateunaware and often it is given nonverbal,

e.g. nodding with your head, looking

puzzled, etcetera. In a broader sense, feedback is a way to

let people know how successful they are

in what they are trying to accomplish. Itwill give them guidelines on how to

continue and what needs to be improved.


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Feedback should never be meant as a

personal attack, criticism or disapproval.

When it is provided in a constructive andconsistent way, it can be very useful to its

receiver.


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Delivery of feedback

Negative ways

Attacking : hard-hitting and aggressive,focusing on the weaknesses of the otherperson.

Indirect: feedback is vague and issueshinted at rather than addressed directly

Insensitive: little concern for the needsof the other person


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Disrespectful: feedback is demeaning,

bordering on insulting Judgmental: feedback is evaluative,

judging personality rather than

behaviour General : aimed at broad issues which

cannot be easily defined

Poor timing : given long after theprompting event, or at the worst possibletime


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Impulsive: given thoughtlessly, with little

regard for the consequences

Selfish: feedback meets the givers

needs, rather than the needs of the other

person

Superficial: listens and agrees, but gives

the impression that the feedback willhave little effect


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Positive ways

Supportive: delivered in a non-threatening

and encouraging manner

Direct : the focus of the feedback is clearly

stated

Sensitive : delivered with sensitivity to the

needs of the other person

Considerate : feedback is intended not toinsult or demean


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Descriptive : focuses on behaviour that

can be changed, rather than personality

Descriptive : focuses on behaviour that

can be changed, rather than personality

Specific : feedback is focused on specific

behaviours or events

Good timing : given as close to theprompting event as possible and at an

opportune time


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Thoughtful : well considered rather than

impulsive

Helpful : feedback is intended to be ofvalue to the other person

Sincere: genuinely wants to make

personal changes if appropriate


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Dealing with sensitive context and

information

Not the facts, but the emotions

When it comes to experiencing trauma, it

is often not the facts that account for theintense feeling of loss, panic and pain,

but the underlying emotions.

In contrast, when sharing trauma, manypeople stick to the bare facts, giving an

aloof story, as if it did not happen to

them but to someone else.


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Reading the underlying emotions is crucial

in helping to heal trauma successfully.

At the same time, the caregiver (or you as a

facilitator) is exposed to the most

horrendous stories. Much of the narrative shared is very

sensitive.

These guidelines will help you with yourown behaviour and attitude when dealing

with sensitive information, in a sensitive

context.


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Basic principles of ethical conduct

Do not harm.

Be trustworthy and follow through on

your words with appropriate deeds.

Never exploit your relationship.

Respect a persons right to make his/her

own decisions. Never exaggerate your skills or

competence.


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Dealing with sensitive issues

Try to hear what the speaker is reallysaying and what feelings are being

expressed

Do not deny or belittle the othersfeelings (Oh, that is nothing to worry

about and likewise sentences) - each

traumatic reaction needs to be treated asvalid, irrespective of how the event that

induced it is viewed


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Stay cool: do not overreact or jump to

conclusions. Be calm and keep your emotions in

check.

Although it is ok to show empathy, the

other is mainly looking for comfort and

understanding, and not waiting for a

reaction that will only aggravate his/her

own feelings


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Maintain confidentiality only share the

stories you have heard with others in

public (this means: outside the room

where the training/meeting took place)with explicit consent of the speaker(s)


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Group Exercise

Self-reflection & group discussion: Tribalism

This exercise is to illustrate just how sensitive some

issues are.

How would you deal with tribalist remarks thatwould be expressed while sharing trauma stories?

Appoint one reporter, who will note the steps to be

taken (as agreed unanimously by the audience) on aflipchart.

How to get people to share and talk.pptx

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