How To Be Eating Disorder Free At College

How To Be E/D FREE at College:

Part 1: 15 Tips on What To Do Before

You Go July 8, 2014 with Lori Osachy, MSS, LCSW !! www.quickstartrecovery.com

www.bodyimagecounseling.com

http://www.quickstartrecovery.com/

http://www.bodyimagecounseling.com/

www.quickstartrecovery.com 2

A word about confidentiality and what this webinar is NOT…

This is NOT a confidential webinar! Your participation is public. However, if I use your comments in my forthcoming book, I will change your name to protect your confidence. Please contribute – it will help others and make the book better. !This webinar is NOT a class on how to identify an eating disorder, or how to treat it. If you need more information on these very important topics, I’ve already written two books available on Amazon that will cover LOADS of information and give you practical advice you can start using TODAY. One is a parent guide and one is a recovery guide for individuals. Here’s the link:

www.quickstartrecovery.com Page

Why a webinar on eating disorders in college? • 91% of women surveyed on a college campus had attempted to control their weight through dieting. 22% dieted “often” or “always.” • 86% report onset of eating disorder by age 20; 43% report onset between ages of 16 and 20.6 • 25% of college-aged women engage in bingeing and purging as a weight-management technique. • In a survey of 185 female students on a college campus, 58% felt pressure to be a certain weight, and of the 83% that dieted for weight loss, 44% were of normal weight. (Stats taken from www.anad.org)


And Why Should You Listen To Me?1. I’m a national eating disorders treatment expert. !1. I’ve counseled HUNDREDS of college students and high school seniors . !1. I know the secrets to how to recover from eating disorders quickly and

permanently. !

2. I’ve learned the most common pitfalls in college and how to avoid them from counseling these hundreds of students over the years. !

3. My advice has been featured over and over again in print news, television and radio. !

4. It is my MISSION to help as many people recover from eating disorders as I can.


Many of the college students I see in treatment:• Had an untreated eating disorder before they left for college.

• Were in recovery from an eating disorder but did not prepare adequately to handle the stresses of college without relapse.

• Never had an eating disorder, but developed one in college because they didn’t have the support, knowledge and tools to avoid it.


Let’s talk about why this information is so important for every High School and College student to know…

Reason 1: 25% of college students will suffer from eating disorders – you don’t have to be one of them!

Reason 2: Many college students are NOT equipped with the tools to successfully handle the transition to college life – I will give you these tools!

Reason 3: The stresses of going to college can trigger eating disorder relapse – I’ll help you avoid it!

Reason 4: The freshman 15 and other eating disorders are totally avoidable and I’ll show you how!

Reason 5: Your college years can be THE BEST YEARS of your life… or the worst – I’ll teach you how to make them the best!


What will be covered in this 5 part webinar series?

Webinar 1: What you need to plan BEFORE you even leave for college in order to be healthy and E/D free – that’s TODAY!

Webinar 2: Full-proof ways to avoid the freshman 15 and Sure-fire ways to keep up healthy exercise.

Webinar 3: Secrets to finding fabulous friends and love relationships PLUS how learning how to be alone can catapult your college success.

Webinar 4: Partying, sex and eating disorders – insider info that no one else will tell you PLUS tried and true ways to ROCK your grades.


Fail to plan, plan to fail… you need a PLAN for college success.

These days, students as young as elementary school age are hammered with the message that they need to prepare academically for college - BUT

Although they’re given tons of information on how to prepare to GET IN to college, there is practically ZERO information on how to prepare emotionally for the transition to college…

And they’re given ZERO tools on how to succeed emotionally at college – IQ v. EQ


Keep in mind that eating disorders are COPING MECHANISMS with healthy motives of remaining SAFE

and RELAXED. • Stress is a major trigger for eating disordered behaviors • It is very important to anticipate stressors and plan for them. • Even good, healthy changes cause stress, but people don’t realize it. • Acknowledge that you are probably under stress • Also, sometimes eating disordered behaviors strike AFTER the stressful event has passed (i.e. finals, graduation, prom, AP exams, etc.) !

Now let’s talk about some common stressors and ways to handle them!

Step ONE

www.quickstartrecovery.com

“Testimonial Slide…. !!!!!!!!!!

Now that you know stress is a trigger for eating disorders, and positive change can be stressful, make sure to CHECK-IN with your child about the stress they may be feeling, even though they are excited about going to college. Just listen – you don’t have to solve it for them ☺


Accept the FULL RANGE of your feelings about going to college.

• You don’t need to feel guilty about having mixed emotions about college – it’s normal! • Feelings can range from worry, to elation, to sadness, to hopefulness. • If you don’t acknowledge your full range of feelings it can lead to… YOU GUESSED IT… stress! • And you know what stress can lead to… eating disordered behavior. • Make sure to express these feelings by talking to trusted family and friends, writing about them, and/or doing other activities that help you express them (sports, art, being in nature, yoga, etc).

Step TWO



If you notice that your child seems angry, withdrawn or depressed, if he or she is picking more fights with you, siblings, or friends, remind them that these may actually be displaced worries about leaving for college. Encourage your child to make the connection and put their feelings in the right place ☺


Make sure you get CLOSURE instead of denying that this time in your life is ending.

• “You say goodbye, and I say hello” – The Beatles • Many students don’t want to say goodbye to friends and family because it hurts too much and it’s HARD to say goodbye, BUT… •It’s harder in the end NOT to say goodbye – why? • How to plan your goodbyes. • Signs you haven’t had closure and said goodbye: bickering with people you love, depression, anxiety, isolating, substance abuse, and of course, e/d behavior.

Step THREE



Saying goodbye is hard for you, too! You may also be avoiding saying goodbye and having closure with your child.

You can model how to have closure and say goodbye in a healthy way to your child. How?

• Let yourself cry in front of them • Share good memories with them of their childhood. • Talk about your hopes and dreams for them. • Do this repeatedly throughout the summer – don’t wait until you drop them off, or not do it at all! ☺


Say goodbye, but also keep your ties.

• Some people do the opposite and say goodbye to everyone and everything about their high school years. Why? • This isn’t good either! • Make a solid plan to stay in touch with a few close friends and family members through phone/Skype/email/letters, even though you may not want to. Trust me, you’ll be glad you did!

Step FOUR



Be creative in planning a way to keep in touch with your child without distancing too much OR being suffocating. This can be a difficult task with young adults who are trying to become independent but also crave your love and support all at once. Here are some ideas: • Set up a weekly check-in time through Skype or phone call. • Ask your child what ways of keeping in contact suit him or her. • Don’t take it personally if they just want to text. •Try not to panic if they need to talk all the time at first. • Try to go to parents’ weekend!


Avoid overwhelm as you prepare to leave.

• Many students PROCRASTINATE packing and getting ready to leave…why? (Overwhelmed with how much there is to do, fear of not getting everything done, or done right, mixed emotions about leaving) • ASK FOR HELP! • You don’t need to be perfect. Remember: Done, not perfect. • Try to break down the tasks you need to complete into smaller, less overwhelming steps.

Step FIVE



Offer help to your child in packing, completing paperwork, or making necessary appointments, but do it calmly and not in a panic (even though you may be feeling that way inside). On the flip side, don’t assume or insist they can do all of this themselves because they are now “adults” and should be able to take care of it all themselves.


Have a plan on how to be around and meet LOTS of new people before you get to college

• Are you an introvert or an extrovert? There are different stressors for each type when encountering new situations. • Here’s the number one, insider therapist secret I know about making friends and being popular… • Have a plan on how you will deal with homesickness and loneliness if you encounter it those first few weeks and months in college. Watch out for: substance use/abuse, depression, anxiety and isolation. • If you are socially anxious, what to do?

Step SIX



Prepare yourselves for potentially uncharacteristic behaviors in your child as they adjust to their new surroundings, keeping in mind if they are introverted or extroverted personalities. Some of this is normal the first few weeks to months of adjustment, so try not to worry. If the strange behaviors continue past that time, you can offer them more help and support on campus to help them adjust. And you can remind them that their loneliness and homesickness will pass as they feel more at home there ☺.


Start to create a “force field” against diet and eating disorder culture at college.

• What is diet and e/d culture? • Why is it so prevalent on college campuses? (proximity, age group, stress, advertising) • Diet and e/d culture effects boys, too, especially underweight males, gay males and athletes • How create a “force field” against diet culture? (get angry, get educated, speaking up, “When I graduate…” • Don’t let diet culture surprise and overwhelm you.

Step SEVEN



Try not to create a diet culture at home. DON’T go on diets! Don’t compare peoples’ appearances. DON’T put your body or weight down in front of your kids. STOP weight and diet talk. If you have trouble doing this, read some books on diet culture and eating disorders (i.e. The Beauty Myth, Intuitive Eating), or get help from a trained therapist to help you defeat your own eating disordered thoughts/behaviors ☺


• Being on your own for the first time is exciting AND scary! • Are you prepared to be on your own? Do you need help learning about how to handle money, time, relationships, living with roommates, being in charge of your own schedule? • Be honest about areas where you need to learn more and ask for help! (Your family, friends, books, college resource centers). • You don’t need to be perfect – or to recreate the wheel.

Step EIGHT

Face how you feel about being on your own, and assess what you need to prepare.



Consider how your child learns best, and then offer them resources without being pushy. For example, does your child learn best by having a discussion? By reading the information? By taking a class? By practicing? Would they rather learn from another adult rather than you (don’t take this personally!)? Be creative in providing your child learning opportunities that fit him or her best.


• People with eating disorders tend to be perfectionists – it’s another way to cope with overwhelm. • It’s OK to have high standards, but if they’re too high, you set yourself up for relapse and/or misery! • Try not to overschedule when you plan that first year, both in classes AND activities (i.e. RUSH, clubs, classes, etc.) • Be honest about whether or not you can trust your own judgment about whether you are being too perfectionistic or hard on yourself. • Be aware that perfectionism is in the cluster of eating disorder coping mechanisms – more on this in another webinar.

Step NINE

Are you a perfectionist… or in other words, is the sky blue? Get it in check BEFORE you

leave.



Are YOU a perfectionist? Are there ways you can model to your child that YOU know you don’t need to be perfect? If you feel your kid needs to be perfect, is it covering up hidden anxiety for you about your child’s safety and future? Don’t be afraid to ask for help and support about getting to the bottom of unrealistic expectations for yourself and/or your child.


• Unfortunately, I see this every year… • Life changes trigger eating disorder behavior, so if you already have one, get help BEFORE you leave for school. • You don’t have to fit a diagnosis in order to have eating disordered behaviors that can escalate once you leave for college. • Here’s the good news – with the right help you CAN get better quickly and go to school healthy.

Step TEN

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT TIP!!! If you think or know you have an eating disorder, or e/d symptoms, DON’T think it will get

better on it’s own once you go to college.



THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT TIP FOR PARENTS: If you think or know your child has an eating disorder or eating disordered behavior, DON’T LET THEM go to college before the get help. Leverage your power, with love, to force the issue, help them push through any denial, and get quality treatment before they leave.


If you’re in recovery… anticipate the stressors of college that can trigger relapse, and set up a support system at college BEFORE you go.

• Transition stress can retrigger your symptoms. • FREE college counseling, many now have eating disorder specialists on staff. • FREE support groups may be available, too. • Identify a physician who can treat you at school, especially if you’re attending far away from home. • If the college doesn’t have resources, check out edreferral.com or edap.org for e/d specialists in your area. • Consider Skype or phone sessions with a specialist if necessary.

Step ELEVEN



Consider doing the research on e/d support at school for your child. She may think she won’t relapse, and hopefully she won’t, but it pays to be prepared. A few internet searches and phone calls will be well worth it if he calls in a panic and needs help ASAP when you’re far away.


If you’re an athlete on a sports scholarship, let your coach know you’re in recovery and what you need for support.

• It may be hard to tell you coach, but it may be worse not to. • Be aware of the many demands placed on college athletes and try to plan your schedule and activities accordingly before you leave. • Consider working with a nutritionist while at college to help you create meal plans that support your increased level of activity. • Be careful about injury – it can trigger relapse, too. • You’re especially prone to perfectionism – don’t be hard on yourself.

Step TWELVE



Examine your beliefs about your child and his sport. Is there a lot of family pride, and pressure, about being the best and “going the distance”? Is your athlete showing signs of duress and/or eating disorder symptoms? Are you willing to help her let go of the sport at that level if it’s hurting her? Ask yourself these questions regularly, and be on the lookout for changes in weight and behavior in your young athlete.


If you’re a young man in recovery, or fear you may have an eating disorder, don’t ignore the signs just because you’re not female.

• Any young man can be prone to an eating disorder, but your odds are higher if you’re an athlete in certain sports, an underweight male, a gay male, or in ROTC – why? • Try to ignore the stigma about males with eating disorders – men with eating disorders DO exist and I’ve seen more and more males in my practice every year - why? • Remember there is help available – the longer you wait, the harder it can be to recover.

Step THIRTEEN



It’s difficult enough sometimes for parents to accept their daughter has an eating disorder. It may be harder if you have a son. Look for the same signs of eating disorders in boys as you would for girls, and familiarize yourself with the signs. If your intuition tells you something is wrong with your son, don’t ignore it because of the stigma against men with eating disorders. Be especially on the lookout if your son is an athlete, gay, in the military, or any combination of the above ☺


Prepare before you go on how you will deal with a change in food and rituals around food.

• Are you on the college meal plan, or in charge of your own meals? Each option has it’s challenges and advantages if you’re in recovery. • Think ahead about what kind of food rituals you will create in college – more on this in the next webinar. • Come up with a joyful movement plan to help you positively deal with stress and new foods and eating schedules. • Consider working with a nutritionist to discuss food worries, to develop a healthy intuitive eating plan prior to leaving for school – most people don’t do this and get blindsided.

Step FOURTEEN



A special offer: !Here is the BEST eating disorder nutritionist I know – Tracy Brown, RD. She will do in person, phone or Skype sessions to help you. And through this webinar ONLY your child can receive 20% of an initial session with her. Just go to this appointment scheduler link and put coupon code COLLEGE. I’ve worked with Tracy for years, and believe me, she’s the very best.


Here are more resources:

1) For more information about eating disorders, how to get better quickly and permanently, check out my low cost Amazon books at the link below. If you

purchase, I would appreciate it if you would leave an honest review on Amazon to help spread the word ☺

2) There’s also lots of free information at my blog at


3) If you need counseling before you leave for college, I am available for in-office, Skype and phone coaching, and so is Tracy Brown, for nutrition help. Just fill in your information in the appointment scheduler (link below), and

we’ll contact you within 24-hours, I promise!

•.

Step FIFTEEN



Webinar 2: Full-proof ways to avoid the freshman 15 and sure-fire ways to keep up healthy exercise at college – essential to being eating disorder FREE ☺

How To Be Eating Disorder Free At College

Health & Medicine

Transcript of How To Be Eating Disorder Free At College