How do I love DEE?

7/29/2019 How do I love DEE?

1/11


2/11

*I know the face of the man I

love*

He is the great Man next to myFather

Well, I believe that every woman in

this earth will definitely claim that her

opposite sex will be the boundless

man ever in his life. Regardless of how

many boys in her life came for a

connection, to the intention ofpromise and of commitment. Its

funny that every time someone

appeals your heart you always come

up to an idea of perfection which I

know that often ends up to an illusion.

Basically you discern it already the

expected situations that you may not

handle even if you strongly plot into

yourself that you can. I know that Im

getting deeper in my thoughts right

now the reason why I currently feel

that Im about to go away with mysubject and that is himthe man nextto my father.

He is just a simple creature. How do I

really define that SIMPLE? This is a

usual characteristic that each of you

always see to it that your ideal couple

has. Yes, he is artless not heartless. He

doesnt like night life nor puff a cigar.

He follows his own principle. He isobsessed to his family. He hopes forlove and keeps patience.

I admit that the moment I conversed

him the first time ever was a bore

entity and now, shall I tell the story

how my status changed into moreinspired lady.

His name is Meta (first code). Hes in a

getting strong love life before me (I

supposed s0 when he doesnt). He asks

once and answers once as well. No

more, no less. Lately, a common friend

gave him a way to attach with me by

no intention. We exchanged words.

We greet ourselves anonymously. I

dont even get a chance to see him

personally because the only way we

imagined how we looked like is

through the voices we shared eachtime he phone calls me or I do vice

versa. There, I gradually got his

interest. We now laugh like crazy frogs

in the dark that dont even see each

expression clearly. We started sharing

our assets, likes, dos and donts. I

even tell myself why the hell we are

turning the talk like this when were

not supposed to. Im afraid. Im

waiting for somebody and he has

someone already. Then, it took

several calls and many attempts to

meet. And at last we did, yet it sucks

thinking that its even I who made way

rushing to formulate that day of

seeing him! And I was just

unconsciously disremembering the boy

Im obsessed with. In other words, its

like my attention turned to him which Idont like. Dont I really like it?


3/11

** A man falls in love through his

eyes,

A woman through her ears **

That was January the first time we metafter few months of hidden identity.

He shook a hand to me and I

welcomed him kindly. The moment I

saw him, it was a needle in my butt. I

was unsure of every moment. All I

knew was I like it already, Im starting

to confuse myself and he is giving out

himself to me either. Hes teasing me,

he plays hard to make me please and it

just turned out that the One day is notenough for the cherished scenes we

made. We started staring that long,

sitting beside him for a dinner was not

normal for an ordinary meeting, Ihonestly felt sparks---safe sparks!

When he touched my hand that night,

I want to pay it back the same way and

I did actually. Darn! Our faces got

closer, hes approach was something

that both of us responds immediately

of sweet sense. Nah! I was truly scared

of the moment; I thought it was going

to be critical because I did not look

forward to know him for that reason.

My goodness I dont want to be an

extra again and again! And I dont

want to lose the other man I dreamt.Which is which?

The day after we first met I do not

want a next time anymore. I know itwould be unfair to him & to me but Im

afraid once again. Im having difficulty

thinking that Im exultant with him

already yet Im waiting for an

important person. Oh love, love, love! I

know its not you and that should not

be you! (I dramatized) After which, I

got a feeling that his admiration to me

seems to pull me down. Oh man! Dont

you ever ask again what we are? Wh0we are? Counting the days, never did I

picture out that I will be seeing him

again------and------again------and------

soon-----and----sooner-----and-----

always!

Yes, you know what it means, the

archer did his part-to dart me in my

artery bringing this man inside which

caused a sickness to me with a generic

name called Feeling! Man. God knows

its beyond control. Im starting to missthis man.

That was

February,

when Love

moves in

mysteriousways.

(Laughs) I

fooled him an

endearment

that Im

supposed to

sound to the other man. (Bhe? Bhe?

Bhe?) I cant spell myself out. Im

appreciating his call backs using the

same word to me. We started dating?

Holding while walking? Gift giving?

Unlimited calling? Metayou are

really giving me a chance to gamble

my heart again for this feeling. I

remember when hes about to prepare

his flight way to inter region. Its

doubtful why Im envious that I cant

be with him for a long time though

basically I got neither right nor goodreasons. But that guy really sucks!

Perfectly sucks that he made a day for

us, a night for usto launch his chilling

pre-valentine yet unanticipated gift.

For his information, He is impressive!(Silly laughs)


4/11

Shall I count the days, week-ends that

we met and months til we finally

devoted our friendship into loveliest

affection. He says hes lucky of me. I

said Im lucky of him. We need not totell each other how we made it but

love really is obviously speaking louderthat our vocals.


5/11

Bhe,

I believe this will be my second

year to witness your special day.

But before we celebrate, I just

want to rewind the moments

how we get here.

Rememberthe first night we

met with a friend? The first time

I foot walked your City. I sat on a

bench fronting the hall and there

was no light at all. That was

around 6 pm. You came back

from a travel taking yourself

home before you finally gave a

beep that you are near to me.

I was thinking where else in La

Carlota will this man pass by. But

I have no idea. A gaze from a left

side catch my eye when a man

stroll my way directly and just

then I recognized that youre the

man in a violet shirt handing

your blue jacket aside. Then I

slightly pretended while Davidseems to laugh in the end and

thats how we started!

I must be an expert to meet

strangers but with you, I doubted

this time for I cant even start a

conversation and all I do to you is

an observation.

We walked and talked. You teased

and I payback unconsciously. Our

way to a train is dark but I feel

thatits going to be sweet!

There, I felt both pleasure and

hesitation. I like the moment but

do I have the right to feel it?

We dont care where we are,

from who we are in the past, we

dont mind when 12 midnight

will come to an end. I honestly

enjoyed the walk, stare, laugh

and your corny phrases (until

today).

Then we dine there, and sat

beside you eating my favourite

and your favourite inasal also

haha. You grabbed my hand and

prank the hell out of me I

surrendered in such a way

recognizing immediately that oOp

it was 12 midnight already. First

day of meeting was bitin s0

much!

There at the hall we stopped by

for the last time to repeat our

goodbyes and as you stare harder

I forgot that I needed to returnyour warm jacket and I thanked

you for one of the loveliest days.

You ought to have a hug but well,

considering that a chaperon

beside was present you stole it

instead hehe! Haunting!


6/11

Alright! Too much for that!

Seriously, I so miss the 0rigin of

us and on how we struggled just

to seal the flaws before us. I knowand you know that we cant be

like this; we cant be where we

are right now if not with your

pursuance and my trust. Thanks

for proving that I was wr0ng

with my Nega thoughts since.

Thank you for patiently askingme how many times if what

actually our status was. I shall say

you have disturbed me well to

build this relationship for its been

a couple of years after I failed a

mate. Thank you for your

mouthful jokes goodness! Forinviting me to enter SFC

community, for influencing me

how to literally clean a plate, for

attesting me whether or not to

lose oneself beside temptation, for

the random scents, for the

footwear, for saying YES though

it should be NO, for adjusting, for

trying, for obeying, for going and

seeing me during day=offs! Youjust dont know how important it

is for me that you spend every

SUNDAY of your life for us to

break the long distance that we

have. Thank you gid bhe! There

are a lot of things to be thankful

with. Just like facing with myfamily nicely. For your side who

treated me the same way too. For

cheering me up in times of

difficulty, in visitation of my

dysmenorrhoea, for every food

chain we dine in, for every coin

we consumed for jeepney andceres bus! For every second of

strolling for the new gadgets in

mall, for every dress and shirt we

appreciate and think that best fit

us. For every token we waste to

sing our common songs and laugh

out loud if we fail to get the high

notes! For the times you look mad

since I often refuse to pose

straight from your camera. Forthe adventure of life and of our

private life (esss!) For our fights

(with the plural form) for the

load we spent each week hayyy

just to suffice the misery. For

treating me like a Mesdames

(pronounced as Madam). For thecare which is undeniably felt. For

understanding, and for patiently

reading this novel for you haha! (I

know youre not interested to this

kay mahambal ka English naman!

but since halin sakon, ga pati gd

ko nga basahon mu ni for thesake of learning dba! Dba! Hehe)

Corny2x skon ba noh? Corny lang

hehe bilin ang iban cmu hahah!

Storyahanay na lang ta b bhe

pwede? Hehe galing kay feel ko ya


7/11

magsulat nami handwriting ko

ay? Hahahahaha.)

writtten:Best Before; May 13, 2012.

Happy Birthday Dooy @ 21

Updated:

Just now End of October 2012

The irony of the above story is

here and is actually hard to

admit. I just cant imagine how

we ended up this soon. So soon

that I was so happy yesterday

busy counting the Sundays we

have to meet at the malls and allof the sudden the man I have

always waited to text me Sum-

ag nko bhe, skay nda had an

amnesia that I was forced to go

away. Yes I regret I wasnt able to

hand this letter to you during

your birthday, during the time

that I still have the right to

demand your presence justbecause bebe was so shy. (weh

)It was a very difficult test

(seems like a board examination

actually that I studied so hard

and suddenly nothing came out

on the lessons Ive reviewed)

shocked. But I dont wanna goback remembering myself looking

straight at the mirror with self-

pity (because I know you would

not like it too). This is natural.

And no one is exempted to this

ache anyway. And so today, I

thank you for reading this. This isyour remembrance, our

remembrance.

If in the very dull moment you

lose hope, Im here. (I hate you

telling yourself gago gd ko b)

YOU ARE NOT, chances are there

and you just need to be alert

grabbing while its there. After

the day you told me yourebreaking the chain w/ me, my

stomach rattled. Ive done every

reverse psychology and defense

mechanism but the situation ends

up w/ 3 words. I can accept, I do

respect but I love you and Ill miss

you.

If fighting for you and for us can

save us as well then Let us leave it

in our own will someday and

Gods will. Were too young but

until then just want to let you

know that the feeling is consistentyet Im not sure if its still mutual.

I may not know what happened

or what the reason is, you were

not able to tell and still its

hanging but yes in time we

forgive, I forgive and you do the


8/11

same. I still imagine of marryingthe same man, having kids w/

him and loving him but to now be

either moving on or staying put.

Just Remember were one of the

luckiest couple who didnt take

advantage the growth of love,

thanks for cooperating, we evenenjoy having a third party-thats

God.

[AMON-LANG-NI]


9/11

CHAPTER ENDS :


10/11


11/11

How do I love DEE?

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