HOT SPOT Issue #295
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Transcript of HOT SPOT Issue #295
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LOUNGES & CLUBS
Mr. Wonderfuls icIsland Breeze 07Frozen Paradise icNetties Lounge 09Rosettes 19Inferno Lounge 33Raymonds Players Club 32
TRANSPORTATIONBobby Albright 35Alex Alick 35James Hardy 39
ENTERTAINMENTDr. I.M. Smartt Lottery 17HOT SPOT Maze 36SUDOKU 36SUDOKU Solution 39DJ Dirty Redd 35Got Balloons 31DJ Postman 22DJ Mack Daddy 05Insomniacts Entertainment 19
SERVICESMind of Creations 08Restore Your Photos 37HOT SPOT Printing 38Got Balloons 31One Time Pest Control 03
CLOTHING & FASHIONSt. Paul Clothing 35
EVENTSClub Inferno Monday Nights 33WolfMasters 2010 Dance 24, 29
FOOD & DININGShell Shoppe Seafood 22Buddys Convenience Store 22
HEALTH & BEAUTYMedicaid Advantage 11AVON 39Love N Care 09
LEGAL & FINANCIALMAX$ TAXS 03Medicare Upgrade 27A Brighter Day Bail Bond 26
TECHNOLOGYRestore Your Photos 37
AROUND TOWNAround Town 20Around Town 21Around Town ExtraAround Town ExtraAround Town ExtraMore Around TownMore Around Town
FEATURESHOT SPOT Reps 23HOT SPOT Subscribe 31One Mans Opinion 02
HOT SPOT Schedule 06HOT SPOT Rates 15W. W. Law Foundation 06
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One Mans Opinion
Part II read recently where the City Council, affectionately known as Otisand the Crew are considering an ordinance to ban smoking inpublic places to include bars and lounges. Now wait just a goshdarn minute! As an expert practitioner of smoking in public, and Imight add private, places I must vehemently protest. Heres why, I visited the state of California afew years back and they already had this oppressive law in place. Do you know how annoying it wasto have to go outside in the sunshine and fresh air to smoke? It took two or three minutes for myeyes to get accustomed to the dark bar again when I came back inside. The law just made for anunpleasant experience; inside drink, outside smoke, inside drink, outside smoke, inside drink,outside By the time I finished, I was tired and wasnt able to drink as much as I wanted to. NowSavannah, my current hometown wants to subject me to more of this misery.
If I want to get some chemically treated, dried up weeds and wrap it in some chemically treatedpaper with some chemically infused balled up paper on one end and roll it all together and set it onfire and stick it in my mouth so I can suck on it, in Public or private I should be able to do so. OK,Ron, but how about second hand smoke in public places? What about it? I think if someonebreathes in my second hand smoke, they ought to pay me for it. Do you know how much a pack ofcigarettes cost nowadays? If Im in a public place and not allowed to smoke, Im still faced withbreathing in everyone elses second hand carbon dioxide that they exhale. Shouldnt they be forcedby law to go outside and breathe so as not to interfere with my breathing inside? Huh?
So whats up with this ordinance Mayor O? Come to think of it, I havent seen you hanging out at
any of those public places lately. Word has it that youre doing all kinds of healthy stuff, likeexercising, walking, eating right and what not. Shouldnt you be sitting next to me in one of thosepublic places and supporting the local business community? And Im not talking about, the healthfood stores or the walking shoe sales outlet or the jogging suit salesman or the fruit and vegetablepusher, Im talking about the upstanding and much maligned purveyor of spirits. Tell you what O,bring your Crew down to my favorite public place and grab a stool and lets support the localeconomy together, and I promise not to blow smoke in your face.
Just, One Mans Opinion.Live Long and Prosper
Ronald A. Gilliard, PublisherThanks Savannah, for almost 12 Years of the HOT SPOT!
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Specializing in Adult EventsSorry, No Teens
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Laughs
Two women met for the first time since graduat-
ing from high school.
One asked the other, "You were always so organ-
ized in school. Did you manage to live a well
planned life?"
"Yes," said her friend, "My first marriage was to
a millionaire;
my second marriage was to an actor;
my third marriage was to a preacher;
and now I'm married to an undertaker."
Her friend asked, "What do those marriages have
to do with a well planned life?"
"One for the money,two for the show,
three to get ready,
and four to go!"
Laughs
After a trial had been going on for three days,
Finley, the man accused of committing the
crimes, stood up and approached the judge's
bench. "Your Honor, I would like to change
my plea from 'innocent' to 'guilty' of thecharges."
The judge angrily banged his fist on the desk.
"If you're guilty, why didn't you say so in the
first place and save this court a lot of time and
inconvenience?" he demanded.
Finley looked up wide-eyed and stated, "Well,
when the trial started I thought I was inno-
cent, but that was before I heard all the evi-
dence against me."
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Laughs
An old farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In
court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was ques-
tioning Clyde. "Didn't you say at the scene of the ac-
cident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer.
Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. Ihad just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into
the......"
"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted.
"Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the
scene of the accident, "I'm fine!'?"
Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the
trailer and was driving down the road...."
The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I amtrying to establish the fact that at the scene of the ac-
cident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the
scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after
the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he
is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the ques-
tion."
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in
Clyde's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to
hear what he has to say about his favorite mule,
Bessie."
Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well... as I
was sayin', I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite
mule, into the trailer and was drivin' her down the
highway when this huge semi ran the stop sign and
smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into
one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was
hurtin' real bad and didn't want to move. However, I
could hear ole Bessie moanin' and groanin'. I knew
she was in terrible shape just by her groans.
Real soon a Highway Patrolman came on the scene.
He could hear Bessie moanin' and groanin', too. So,
he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took
out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the
Patrolman came across the road, gun in hand, looked
at me, and said, 'How are YOU feeling?'
Now what the heck would you say?"
Laughs
Interesting Ideas
-- I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't
know what to feed it.
-- I had amnesia once -- or twice.
-- Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were
Catholic.
-- What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
-- They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.
-- Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home
and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his
car onto a freeway.
-- Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
-- Experience is the thing you have left when everything
else is gone.
-- What if there were no hypothetical questions?
-- One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about
other people.
-- When the only tool you own is a hammer, every prob-
lem begins to look like a nail.
-- A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
-- My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
-- I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
-- The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
-- How can there be self-help "groups"?
-- Is there another word for synonym?
-- Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
-- The speed of time is one-second per second.
-- Is it possible to be totally partial?
-- What's another word for thesaurus?
-- If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you
explain whales?
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Laughs
When the power mower was broken and
wouldn't run. I kept hinting to my husbandthat he ought to get it fixed, but somehow
the message never sank in.
Finally, though, I thought of a clever way
to make my point.
When my husband arrived home that day,
he found me seated out in the yard in the
tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny
pair of sewing scissors.
He watched silently for a short time and
then went into the house. He was gone onlya few moments, when he came out again he
handed me a toothbrush.
"When you finish cutting the grass," he
said, "you might as well sweep the side-
walk too."
The doctors say he will probably live, but I
can guarantee you, it will be quite a while
before those casts come off!"
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Denny (912) 428-3701
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Being in Business and not Advertising is like Blinking your Eyes in a Dark Room.
You know what Youre doing, but Nobody else does.
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Laughs
A young boy, about eight years old, was
at the corner Mom & Pop grocery picking
out a pretty good size box of laundry de-
tergent. The grocer walked over, and, try-
ing to be friendly, asked the boy if he had
a lot of laundry to do.
"Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going
to wash my dog."
"But you shouldn't use this to wash your
dog. It's very powerful and if you wash
your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it
might even kill him."
But the boy was not to be stopped and
carried the detergent to the counter and
paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to
talk him out of washing his dog.
About a week later the boy was back in
the store to buy some candy. The grocer
asked the boy how his dog was doing.
"Oh, he died," the boy said.
The grocer, trying not to be an I-told-you-
so, said he was sorry the dog died but
added, "I tried to tell you not to use that
detergent on your dog."
"Well," the boy replied, "I don't think itwas the detergent that killed him."
"Oh? What was it then?"
"I think it was the spin cycle!"
Laughs
The personnel office received an
email requesting a listing of the
department staff broken down by
age and sex.
The personnel office sent this
reply...
"Attached is a list of our staff. We
currently have no one broken
down by age or sex. However, we
have a few alcoholics."
Time Honored Truths
Don't sweat the petty things, and don't
pet the sweaty things.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila,
floor.
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisti-
cated but not be able to say it.
The older you get, the better you real-
ize you were.
I doubt, therefore Imight be.
Age is a very high price to pay for ma-turity.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up
with yesterday.
Women like silent men, they think
they're listening.
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MORE AROUND TOWN
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Continued..
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either!
When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was,it could be your boss, your Mom, a collections
agent, you didn't know!!!
You just had to pick it up and take your chances,mister!
And we didn't have any fancy Sony Playstationvideogames with high-resolution 3-D graphics!
We had the Atari 2600! With games like "SpaceInvaders" and "Asteroids"! Your guy was a little
square! You had to use your imagination! And
there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just
one screen forever!
And you could never win, the game just kept get-
ting harder and faster until you died!
Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater, there was no
such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were
the same height! If a tall guy sat in front of you,you watched his hairstyle!
And sure, we had cable television, but back thenthat was only like 20 channels and there was noonscreen menu! You had to use a little book called
a TV Guide to find out what was on!
And there was no Cartoon Network! You could
only get cartoons on Saturday morning... D'ya hear
what I'm saying!?!
We had to wait ALL WEEK!
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kidstoday have got it too easy. You're spoiled!
You guys wouldn't last five minutes back in 1984!
Laughs
When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with
their tedious diatribes about how hard things were
when they were growing up.
What with walking twenty-five miles to school everymorning uphill both ways through year 'round bliz-
zards carrying their younger siblings on their backsto their one-room schoolhouse where they main-tained a straight-A average despite their full-time
after-school job at the local textile mill where they
worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep theirfamily from starving to death!
And I remember promising myself that when I grew
up there was no way I was going to lay that on kidsabout how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But....
Now that I've reached the ripe old age of thirty, I
can't help but look around and notice the youth oftoday.
You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my child-hood, you live in a Utopia! And I hate to say it but
you kids today don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet.
If we wanted to know something, we had to go to thelibrary and look it up ourselves!
And there was no email! We had to actually write
somebody a letter, with a pen! And then you had to
walk all the way across the street and put it in themailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
And there were no MP3s or Napsters! If you wanted
to steal music, you had to go to the record store andshoplift it yourself! Or, we had to wait around all day
to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talkover the beginning and mess it all up!
You want to hear about hardship?
We didn't have fancy stuff like Call Waiting! If you
were on the phone and somebody else called, they got
a busy signal!
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MORE AROUND TOWN
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MISSED YOUR
HOT SPOT?Now You Dont Have To.
You Can See Your HOT SPOT Online at the
Following Web Sites
Website: TheHotSpotMagazine.com
Website: Scribd.com Keyword: The Hot Spot
Website: Facebook.com Ronald GilliardWebsite: Facebook.com The Hot Spot Magazine
Youtube: SavHotSpot
Watch Our Videos from HOT SPOT TV
On the HOT SPOT Channel
Keep in Touch and Find Out Whats
Going On in the Clubs and at Events,
As It Happens.
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Laughs
During the last carpool the subject wasteenagers and their appetites. Most
agreed that teenagers would eat any-
thing, anywhere and at any time. Some
were concerned that such appetites al-
ways made it hard to judge when you
should feed them because they were al-
ways grazing.
The veteran parent of six children, told
us of his method for judging the true
hunger of teenagers. "I would hold up a
piece of cold broccoli and if they were
jumping and snapping at it I figured
they were hungry enough to be fed."
Laughs
If Men Got Pregnant
Maternity leave would last for two
years...with full pay.
There'd be a cure for stretch marks.
Natural childbirth would become obsolete.
Morning sickness would rank as the nation's
number one health problem.
All methods of birth control would be im-
proved 100 percent effectiveness.
Children would be kept in the hospital untilthey were toilet trained.
Men would be EAGER to talk about commit-
ment.
They wouldn't think twins were quite so cute.
Fathers would demand that their SONS be
home from dates by 10:00pm.Men could use THEIR briefcases as diaper bags.
They'd have to stop saying, "I'm afraid I'll drop him."
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SUDOKU
The rules of Sudoku are simple. Enter
digits from 1 to 9 into the
blank spaces. Every row must contain
one of each digit. So must
every column, as must every 3x3
square. Each Sudoku has a
unique solution that can be reached
logically without guessing.
The Solution is at the end of the Book.
No Peeking.
HOT SPOT MAZE
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Sudoku Solution
Laughs
I accompanied my husband to get a haircut. While
flipping through a magazine I found a hairstyle
that would look good on me. I asked the reception-
ist if I could take the magazine next door to make
a copy of the hairstyle photo.
"Well, okay," she replied, "but leave some ID--adriver's license or credit card." "But my husband
is here getting his hair cut," I explained. "Yeah...
but we need something you'll come back for."
One afternoon a man came home from work to find
total mayhem in his house. His three children were out-
side, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with
empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the
front yard.
The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front
door to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found
an even bigger mess.
A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was
wadded against one wall.
In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon
channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and
various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was
spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the
floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small
pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly
headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles
of clothes, looking for his wife.
He was worried she may be ill, or that something seri-
ous had happened. He found her lounging in the bed-
room, still curled in the bed in her pajamas, reading a
novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his
day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked,
"What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know everyday
when you come home from work and ask me what in
the world did I do today?"
"Yes," was his reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."
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1998-2010
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