Welcome to the pre-Christmas edition of Hello Mister. I hope you enjoy the stories shared by

your fellow volunteers and continue to contribute in the new year (otherwise we‟ll have nothing

to read)! I‟ve dubbed this edition “The Wet Edition” since I don‟t know if you‟ve noticed but

….the rainy season has started. You can trust me I‟m a hydrologist. In addition we‟ve got many

volunteers returning home over the holidays to spend time with their loved ones who are sure

to shed a tear or two at seeing them again. Those of us staying may also shed a tear or two at

being so far away.

However, the real reason that I‟ve dubbed this the wet edition is that during our time in Bali I

realised that this was the last time many of us would be all together again. There have been a

lot of goodbyes lately as volunteers return home and I‟d like to wish them all a wonderful time in

their future endeavours. So goodbye to Rachel Gates, Lau Gabuya, Mark Fijen, Anouk Cleven,

Wycliff Kivumbi, and Marilou Parina. We will miss you all!

December 2011

The wet edition

Hello mister

How does it feel? 2

The drugs do work 3

My new best friend 3

Hari anak cacat sedunia 4

Memories from Bali 6

Persistence is futile 7

Driving in Indonesia 7

Tribulations that... 8

Rokok Topi 8

Goodbye Matt ... 9

Top 5 survival tips.. 10

Fundraising news 11

Headway for women 11

Jokes 12

Inside this issue:

Special points of in-

terest:

Happy belated birthday Marilou

Thank you VIWG for allowing us to advance our salary for the holi-days

Christmas is December 25th

New Year’s Eve is De-cember 31st

Merry Christmas

and

Happy New Year!

I can still remember vividly how I

overused the question “How does it

feel?” to one of my co-volunteers in

Bajawa, Ngada in Flores Island. Paul

Knappe must be so pissed-off with me

asking the same question every minute

of the day two weeks prior to his end-of

-placement in June this year.

Going backwards in June, when I first

asked him, “How does it feel Paul now

that you are about to go home?”. He

would answer seriously, “You know

guys as of this moment I am very much

excited and looking forward to indulge

myself once again with my favorite

foods, expensive wine, proper cheese

and just experience the life I am used to

in Belanda, yahooooo!.”

When the same question was asked to

him on the next days and week after,

he would answer, ”You know guys I am

looking forward to finally go home

even at the earliest time possible so that

I get rid of these very annoying person

who asks the same question like a

broken recorder,” then he would

slightly muse.

However two to three days before he

finally left for Bali, he responded

differently to the same question, ”You

know guys, I feel a little bit strange now

that my days in Bajawa is almost over.

Mixed feelings of excitement and little

bit of sadness is bothering me. Excited

because I will finally be able to indulge

myself with all the things that I am

longing for which cannot be found in

my placement. Sad because I will miss

Bajawa and the circle of friends I was

able to build-up during my nine months

volunteering stint in Indonesia.”

It never came into my mind that as early

as six months after I was pissing-off a co-

volunteer with the question, “How does

it feel?”, my turn to respond to it is at

hand. Now I properly remember the

proverbs which state that, “Do not do

unto others what you do not want

others do unto you.”

My placement is supposed to end-up in

more confused this time and re-

examining my commitments in regards

to my work and family.

“Hello tatay, we just had an earthquake

and the epicenter is right here in our

city and the roof of our neighbor‟s

house collapsed,” my wife‟s trembling

voice I hear on the other line of the

phone. That was on the first week of

November and my wife and kids were

in trauma of a strong earthquake.

Finally I have to make my final decision

and that is to end my placement. My

family needs me more than ever right at

this point in time. Anyway I thought my

decision is fair enough for my family,

partner organization, VSO and myself.

What is important is that I tried the best

I can to honor my commitments.

HOW DOES IT FEEL? Well, I feel relieved

that after discussing my personal issues

and concerns with my partner

organization and VSO they finally

allowed me to go home on the 28th

of

December. I am so much happy and

excited that I am going to welcome the

new year beside my wife and kids. I am

now counting the days.

Continued on page 3.

P A G E 2

June 2012 however due to very

important family issues I have decided

to finish only the 75% of my contract

which is in December 2011. HOW

DOES IT FEEL? Well, I am already happy

and satisfied that at least I have reached

this far in my placement. In the first

place I never even expected to last this

long since looking back during the ICT

period in Bali, I was already struggling

being so far away from my family for

the first time. How would a father react

seeing his little boy shedding his tears

while chatting via the internet and

begging him to go home? This made

me think twice of the decision I made to

volunteer outside of the Philippines.

From that time on, going home is

almost always an everyday wish. That

was granted when I spent a one month

vacation with my family in April. Going

home during that time was an exciting

experience but when it was already

time to go back to my placement mixed

feelings overwhelmed me. During the

last week of my vacation my little boy

begged me not to come back anymore

to Indonesia. He even said to me, “Tatay

(means father) do you know of my

plan?”. I was confused and just shook

my head. Then he continued, “Do you

know that I am planning to burn your

passport and plane ticket so you cannot

go back anymore to Indonesia?”. That

really broke my heart. Anyway I still

tried to explain slowly to him that it is

not just as easy as that because I have

to honor the commitments I made with

VSO and my partner organization.

However that commitment is put to the

test just recently because of some

sensitive family issues that came out.

Stepping into the next ladder in

parenthood seems to be not just as easy

as I used to think of it. I just realized that

my little girl is now a teenager and new

issues goes along at this stage and that I

cannot just leave them all to my wife.

We have to face it together and my

presence is badly needed if I wanted to

get involved along the process. HOW

DOES IT FEEL? Well, obviously I am

H E L L O M I S T E R

HOW DOES IT FEEL?

As promised, this will be my first and

last article for the “Hello Mister”

magazine and so I take this opportunity

to extend my heartfelt gratitude to the

following for making my volunteering

life in Indonesia possible:

VSO-UK VSO-Indonesia VSO-Bahaginan Bappeda Ngada My co-volunteers

At least through my volunteering

experience I learned and discovered

things that I could not have had if I just

stayed in the Philippines. More

realizations were made and it gave me

the chance to reassess the things that

really matters most to me. Furthermore,

I got more insights on the value of

volunteerism and commitment may it

be at work, in the community where I

live, in my own family or in my daily

undertakings.

Finally, HOW DOES IT FEEL? Well, I feel much happier now that I have said my piece and being able to share a part of my life to other people in another country. I may not have done that much but the experience really enriched me as a person and as a family man. At the same time I will be missing also Bajawa, Bappeda Ngada, the market place and my co-volunteers. By Lau Gabuya

P A G E 3

Continued . . . HOW DOES IT FEEL?

P L A C E M E N T P E R S P E C T I V E S

The drugs do work! Ask Tony: He had a little throat infection

and off to the hospital he went..he had

some sleep... and then came to meet

with Sarah, Matt and myself. Upon

arrival at Sarah‟s house his pupils were

dilated and he proclaimed DRUGS ARE

GOOD!

He then proceeded to pull out of his

pocket a little cuddly toy penguin,

which he then disclosed he had just

stolen from a child. He then said he

would pay the child the next day.

Now those of you who know Tony will

know he‟s as the quiet type of guy. But

give him drugs and he is an animal.

The theft raised the concern of fellow

volunteers, but his demeanour was

feeling a bit spaced out. In fact on

following him back to the hotel on our

motorbikes I reckon he may have been

a better driver being slightly off his

head.

The good news is the drugs did cure

the throat up nicely, so he could eat

and drink once again.

By Rachel Gates

hilarious. He was like a giggly child in a

candy store.

At some point in the conversation he

did mention that maybe he should not

be riding his motorbike as he was

Jeerer is slim about 15 cm in height

with long elegant neck and has a round

bottom and a golden cap.

Jenever is transparent and always pre-

sent in my house during the weekends

when I meet with friends or when

alone it really appreciates the company

of the local foods like roasted fish and

barbeque meat.

I apologize for not contributing for

Hello mister in the past.

I was introduced to Geneva by my po-

lice friend sometimes back I guess

some five months ago during a friend‟s

wedding party. I am not sure if I can

draw a good picture of the descriptions

of my new friend Jeerer but let me give

a try.

Jenever is always present during parties

and social gatherings‟ without it the

patty is not complete.

More stories to come soon ...

Bye

James Serem

My new best friend

Drugs are good!

Sometimes in voluntary work there are this opportunities to do something for a community which might have real impact. In my

case it‟s all about breaking down the stigma about disabled people in Ngada district.

3 December is “world disability day”, so my partner organization and I decided this is a great time to promote our activities, the

abilities and the skills of the disabled people living in Ngada district a bit more. So from 2- 4 we organized some activities in town.

Day 1: a walk in town with all the disabled kids from town and the nearby villages (see photos below).

Besides us also school children and people working in government institutions joined. Normally disabled people stay in their

houses most of the time, so it was very nice to see everybody enjoying this walk together.

Day 3: singing during mess in church, bazaar and performances (see photos right page 5).

After we song in church we organized a bazaar where people could buy all the products made by the children. At the same time

the audience could watch the great performances of the kids on stage. People in town saw the abilities/ skills of the disabled peo-

ple and they supported us by buying a lot of products

P A G E 4 H E L L O M I S T E R

Hari anak cacat sedunia

The disabled

people had a

great time and

felt valuable

for once in

their live.

And is that not

what we all

hope for????

By SarahOpheij

Day 3: Bazaar and performances of the kids

P A G E 5

Hari anak cacat sedunia

P L A C E M E N T P E R S P E C T I V E S

After six weeks stay in Bali, I l surely will

miss Bali. Now I understand why people

like to stay in Bali because of its unique

culture and natural resources. I

appreciate its clean surroundings full of

trees and flowering plants around the

Balinese houses and along the streets,

giving cooling effect especially during

warm weather. The roads are not so

crowded, but I seldom see people

walking along the street because most

of the people have their own

motorcycle or automobile.

During our tour around Bali, I saw

beautiful artifacts (stone and wood

carvings) they meticulously made. Their

inviting beach resorts are full especially

during weekends wherein families and

guests gather to enjoy the sea. Their

museums preserve its history and

culture. Bali is inhabited mostly by locals

of Hindu religion that‟s why Balinese

temples are common sight in their

homes. You also see big and small

temples in their own districts/villages

full of daily offerings to their gods. How

beautiful to see men and women in

their Balinese attire of different colors

and design during special occasions

(rituals). People are warm and friendly.

You always get welcome greetings

(selamat: pagi, siang, malam, sore, and

apa kabar) or a simple nod anytime of

the day. What I like most in Bali is the

variety of food (enak) , like in my own

country.

Was so lucky and excited to observe the

Nyepi celebration, especially the ogoh-

ogoh! A day before the Nyepi, we

walked together with my host family

along the street where the parade

usually pass by. Many local people and

tourists filled the streets in the junction

area to observe the ogoh-ogoh

characters being carried by men and

children dancing as the local music is

played by the local band joining the

parade. With my digital camera, I took

some photos of the sculptured

“characters” they portray. Some are

good and impressive, others are scary,

funny, and a work of art, indeed.

We always celebrate Women‟s Month,

just like anywhere in the world. This

month (March) reminds us that we

came from a womb of a woman, and

see the value of it. We must advocate

for equality amongst women and men

in our life.

This is not easy in most cultures in Asia,

and we have to start from ourselves. A

change of people‟s mindset (and

attitude, as well) is important. Women

should be considered as partners of

men at home, in the workplace, and in

development work. To make this

happen, we should create an

environment and build on this kind of

partnerships where women are seen as

truly equal partners of men.

HAPPY WOMEN‟S MONTH

CELEBRATION to everyone!

By Marilou B. Parina

The writer is a VSO volunteer and a

gender advocate from the Philippines,

who has been in Bali for 6 weeks. For

your comments, please send it to this

email address: mlbparina@yahoo.com.

P A G E 6

However, I was shocked to see a

sculptured image of an OLD WOMAN,

with a child on her head and standing

at her back. Immediately behind her is a

boy opening her sarong. And what‟s

the dog doing underneath her?

That sight dampen my spirit (shock) and

I ask myself why such image shown in

public. The audience was not only

adults but children and youth as well.

What kind of woman are they trying to

portray? These are the basic questions

that bothers me. I asked some friends

ideas about the ogoh-ogoh, and their

comments on this article but I wish to

get more comments to my opinion. I

look at this with a “gender

lens” (perspective). I hope to find

answers, somehow.

In my country, that image would surely

trigger negative reactions from the

people, not only women. We passed

that stage wherein women are being

marginalized and placed in an

uncomfortable situation in public. We

want to protect the image of women

and children because women like

others are human beings with equal

rights as men. Women deserve love and

respect at all times and in all places.

H E L L O M I S T E R

Memories from bali

Driving in Indonesia taken from Sanur weekly 09 - 16 Nov 2011)

what they're talking about.

3. You will no longer have to pretend to

enjoy social gatherings: weddings, fu-

nerals, circumcision parties etc.

4. You can buy a proper motorbike

when you get home.

5. You won't repeatedly have to explain

why you don't eat horse.

6. You can choose between more than

2 types of beer. And none of them are

Anker.

"If at first you don't succeed, give up" -

old English proverb

10 reasons why giving up is better than

sharing skills and changing lives:

1. You can always pretend your place-

ment was successful when you get

home. Tell friends and family that you

installed clean water/electricity/wifi in

35 leper villages - they won't know you

actually spent a year drinking coffee

and smoking in a government office.

2. You had your fingers crossed when

you signed the "Lifetime commitment to

eradicating poverty" pledge. You now

think the World Bank and IMF know

7. Sinks. I so missed sinks.

8. Road signs. I missed those too.

9. You have a phobia of moustaches.

10. Proper cheese.

Goodbye, fare-

well, we will

miss you all

Kanga and Roo

(Bear and Matt

helped with the

spelling)

P A G E 7

Persistence is Futile

C O P I N G I N P L A C E M E N T

these beings would cause them dishon-

our.

Lanes:

These colourful white and yellow mark-

ings wish a hearty Selamat Datang to

every traveller. They have no other

function.

Passing:

The national sport of Indonesia. Obser-

vant motorists may encounter the verti-

cal triple (passing three vehicles in one

acceleratory movement), the horizontal

triple (passing a vehicle that itself is in

the process of passing a vehicle) or

even the rare double-double (passing a

vehicle at precisely the same time that

another vehicle, coming in the other

direction, is also engaged in the act of

passing).

Being Passed:

An insult not to be endured. The

greater the differential between your

vehicle, the great potential less of pres-

tige. The owner of the less powerful

vehicle must always do everything in

his/her power to thwart the attempt to

overtake.

To operate a motor vehicle in Indone-

sia, you must understand transportation

in an entirely different way. Definitions

that you thought were above redefini-

tion will immediately be redefined.

Please pay attention:

The Road:

Includes not only the paved portion of

the highway but also what others

might call the verge, the curb, the side-

walk, the front yard and the roadside

restaurant. The paved portion of the

roadway is generally one lane wide.

Not one lane in each direction, but one

lane.

Respect:

All animals are granted the greatest

respect in Indonesia. It is presumed that,

being highly evolved creatures, chick-

ens and dogs and the like know how to

sidestep a Mitsubishi going 78 mph on

a fog-shrouded road during a national

religious holiday.

This same position of honour is granted

to small children, men with 30 pounds

of hay on their heads, unattended ox

carts and elderly women in mystic

trances. Slowing or swerving to avoid

Seat Belts:

Absolutely unnecessary. Not only are

they not worn, they are not even pro-

vided. Passengers are fully protected by

the horn.

Lights:

Rapidly blinking the headlights can

mean many things, including “Okay to

pass now,” “dangerous to pass now,”

“Get out the way,” or “May you find the

thread of gold in the linen of existence”.

It takes years, sometimes even entire

lifetimes, to learn this subtle and intrigu-

ing intuitive non-verbal communication

skill. Generally, however, you have

about three seconds.

The Horn:

When sounded loudly and frequently,

the horn sets up an invisible energy

barrier protecting the vehicle and its

inhabitants from all harm. The faster the

vehicle is going, the better the horn

works. This is the central concept of

Indonesian motoring.

Accidents:

Rare. Usually the result of a malfunction-

ing horn. Contributed by Sarah Oakes

One day a farmer's donkey fell

down into a well. The animal cried

piteously for hours as the farmer tried to

figure out what to do. Finally, he

decided the animal was old, and the

well needed to be covered up anyway;

it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the

donkey.He invited all his neighbors to

come over and help him. They all

grabbed a shovel and began to shovel

dirt into the well. At first, the donkey

realized what was happening and cried

horribly.

Then, to everyone's amazement he

quieted down.A few shovel loads later,

the farmer finally looked down the well.

He was astonished at what he saw.

With each shovel of dirt that hit his

back, the donkey was doing something

amazing. He would shake it off and take

a step up.As the farmer's neighbors

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most

never happens.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you

have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less from people but more

from God.

By Pak Jack

P A G E 8

continued to shovel dirt on top of the

animal, he would shake it off and take a

step up. Pretty soon, everyone was

amazed as the donkey stepped up over

the edge of the well and happily trotted

off!

Moral: Life is going to shovel dirt on

you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting

out of the well is to shake it off and take

a step up. Each of our troubles is a

steppingstone. We can get out of the

deepest wells just by not stopping,

never giving up! Shake it off and take a

step up.

Remember the five simple

rules to be happy:

H E L L O M I S T E R

Tribulations that border on the

absurd. . . . . .& happiness! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

One point is scored when a roki falls

fully within the topi. The roki must be

thrown from behind the roki line.

Play:

A member of Team A is provided with 3

roki and has 3 chances to score from

behind the roki line. Collect the roki

and give them to Team B for their

chance to score.

A running commentary (by 2 people)

must be made throughout the game.

This should include crowd reactions,

background of the player‟s experience,

critique of the roki throws etc.

At the end of the game, teams must line

up and shake hands.

Disputes:

Consult upstairs when there is a dis-

pute. For example, to check whether a

The new game sweeping the volunteer

community of Indonesia!

The game originates from the bustling

metropolis of Jeneponto, South Su-

lawesi and has newly been introduced

onto the Flores Island.

Equipment:

Hat (topi)

Roki (empty cigarette packs)

*may be difficult to find in Indonesia

Roki line

Setup:

The topi is placed at a suitable distance

from the roki line. Team members line

up in two lines behind the roki line.

Scoring:

players foot over the roki line.

Etiquette:

Rokok topi is a gentleperson‟s game

and at no point in time should there be

derogatory remarks or biting.

Advanced rokok topi:

Add wind interference from a fan

Use a various cigarette brands

Rokok Topi has been submitted for en-

try into the 2012 Olympics.

Rokok topi

And the competitive animal in everyone

emerged.

Team Tim Tam won the coin toss and

Mr Lau was first to the roki line. It was a

intense competition of just 3 rounds.

Michelle opened up the scoring for

Team Tim Tam using an underhanded

throw in Round 1.

Toni impressed all with his under-the-

leg throwing and tied up the score for

Team Tom in Round 2.

Round 3 was fraught with anxiety as

player after player buckled under the

pressure. At the end it was down to the

team leaders.

Matt, fatigued from his touring of Flores

was unable to score.

With her final roki Alanna scored but

Rachel was adamant that she had

stepped over the roki line. The final call

As volunteers we are committed to

sharing skills and changing lives. It was

therefore only fitting that Matt should

introduce Rokok Topi to his fellow vol-

unteers during his goodbye party in

Bajara, Flores.

Teams were led by Rokok Topi experts

Matt (Team Tom) and Alanna (Team

Tim Tam). A slight wobble was experi-

enced when the last team member

picked was thrown back into childhood

memories of always being picked last.

She quickly recovered (photo below).

Rules were explained...

came from upstairs … Team Tim Tam

had won 2-1.

And then we all had a kiss and a cud-

dle!

P A G E 9

Goodbye matt - hello rokok topi

C O P I N G I N P L A C E M E N T

Team Tim Tam

Photo credits - Danny Soysauce

Team Tom

Well whilst living in the beautiful island

of Flores a few things have occurred, so

hopefully these top tips will help keep

us all alive.

1. Using travel and the driver falls

asleep at the wheel.

When you see him nodding off tell him

he needs to stop for a break.

When everyone else in the car dis-

agrees and states he just need to drive

slowly and smoke more, start to scream

and act hysterical – hopefully this will

work.

If not pretend to vomit in the back of

the car – that normally get‟s their atten-

tion.

If all else fails and he falls asleep grab

the steering wheel and head for the

nearest ditch!

2. Falling of your bike in the middle of

nowhere and sustaining 2nd

degree

burns.

Do not count on anyone to stop and

help.

Head to the nearest warung, show then

the burn ask for ice and wrap it to your

leg.

Seek medical attention as soon as you

are near a hospital – trust me on this,

that burn is not going to heal overnight

and everything be ok (that was me be-

ing an optimist or bloody stupid!)

When the hospital prescribes only vita-

mins–look slightly troubled and say

what about painkillers and antibiotics.

When the hospital are dressing your

leg, it is sometimes helpful to take a

friend who can hold your hand (Thanks

Corrie)

mad group.

The good thing in a situation like this is

your so drunk you do not feel the pain

until the next morning.

The morning after is painful. People

look and laugh, your limbs ache, and

you realise you actually fell of the bike

of one of the fellow volunteers co work-

ers not an Ojek, to make things better

you will probably be working with that

bike driver again as part of your place-

ment.

The good news for me if I fell off the

bike when the bike was stationary. I

would advise all vol‟s if falling off a bike

try and do it when the bike is not mov-

ing much, I think this will cause less

pain.

5. When a strange man enters your

house without permission...and then

refuses to leave as he is looking for a

wife?

Ask his name, be polite...then ask him to

leave as he is not invited.

Say thanks for all the compliments but

you are still not interested.

Scream....ask your neighbours for help.

Go and stay in the convent overnight

with the sisters.

Visit the man with your neighbour the

next day and a sister and tell him po-

litely to f**k off.

By Rachel Gates

P A G E 1 0

Get used to the variety of names you

will called on your subsequent visits to

the hospital. My name changed various

times once I was Gateas, Rachel, Rachet,

Rasel and Bule.

Don‟t panic if the man next to you in

the line ask you to hold his catheter

bag, he is just trying to find out where

the blockage in his line is so he can pee!

3. Getting bitten on the toe by a

scorpion. Yes you get scorpions, of the

small variety in Rainy Ruteng!

Scream, jump and hop in that order.

Start praying to god for forgiveness of

your sins, as your life as you know it is in

peril.

Knock on your next door neighbours

and explain what has happened, just in

case you need to know the name for a

scorpion in Indonesia is „kalajengking‟

which is a bit of a pain as it is not a

word that slips off the tongue.

When they look at you in surprise again

do not panic, they are just concerned

with your overreaction.

Do not act too surprised when they tell

you the best thing is some suncream.

Hobble back to your own house, apply

suncream and you are cured! Although

the stinging does continue for a few

more hours.

4. Drinking Gin and Arak and then

falling off the back of the bike

transporting you home.

Basically in this situation do not drink so

much! Which would be rare as a litre of

gin is 400,000 when you can find it. But

hey ho, when you visit the volunteers in

Maumere you‟ll understand there a

H E L L O M I S T E R

Top five survival tips for Flores

Suncream cures stings!

Fake illness to get their

attention!

I’ve fallen and I can’t

get up….

I’m not your wife!

P A G E 1 1 L E A R N I N G A N D K N O W L E D G E

spending). The funds will be distributed

over five years with Indonesian govern-

ment and NGOs assisting with project

implementation.

There are other investments too. The US

and Indonesia are „engaging coopera-

tions‟ in military education, training and

weaponry. There are also billion dollar

contracts with Asian companies which

will boost US industry, such as Boeing

being contracted to produce hundreds

of new airplanes for growing airline

Lionair. More than stating the obvious,

a professor at the University of Indone-

sia (and a former defence minister) says:

Based on an article from Jakarta Globe:

„US to Bankroll Indonesian Develop-ment – Obama commits $600 million for aid projects‟– November 19 2011:

It‟s worth volunteers and their partner

organisations checking out the Millen-nium Challenge Corporation, a US aid

body which is committing $600 million

to Indonesian aid projects across the

archipelago. More than half the funds

($332.5 million) will be aimed at envi-

ronmental programs, with other targets

being health care and „procurement

modernization‟ (aimed at reducing cor-

ruption and waste in government

“It‟s not just an altruistic goal”. And

whilst Obama has not made any at-

tempt to hide the expected benefits to

the US economy that increased invest-

ment in Indonesia will result in, it will be

interesting to see what such significant

investment in aid projects will really

mean for the development in Indonesia.

Is it fuelling dependence and the exis-

tence of „Aid‟ as an industry in its own

right, or will it mean real change and

advancements in the arenas of environ-

ment, health and reducing corruption?

By Sarah Oakes

Fundraising news

2. Guarantee sexual and

reproductive health and rights.

3. Invest in infrastructure to reduce

women‟s and girls‟ time burdens.

4. Guarantee women‟s and girls‟

property and inheritance rights.

5. Eliminate gender inequality in

employment by decreasing

women‟s reliance on informal

employment, closing gender

gaps in earnings, and reducing

occupational segregation.

6. Increase women‟s share of seats

in national parliaments and local

governmental bodies.

7. Combat violence against women

By Pak Jack

...AND IMPROVE GENDER EQUALITY

The UN Millennium Project has

identified seven strategic priorities that

will significantly level the playing field

for women and girls.

1. Strengthen opportunities for

post-primary education for girls

while simultaneously meeting

commitments to universal

Primary education.

7 ways to make headway for women.. .

The New Outfit

Wife puts on her new outfit and asks

hubby to describe her...

Hubby says "ABCDEFGHIJK"

What‟s does that mean? she asks...

He says Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, De-

lightful, Elegant, Flamboyant, Gor-

geous, and Hot.

She says wow! that‟s so lovely but what

about I J K ?

He says "I‟m Just Kidding!

Cheating

A woman was sure that her husband

was cheating on her, and having an

affair with the maid. So she laid down a

trap. One evening she suddenly sent

a little contribution from Pak Jack

My wife is the most wonderful woman

in the world, and that's not just my

opinion - it's hers

Why did God make man before he

made woman? because he didn't want

any advice on how to do it

Marriage is like a violin, after the

beautiful music is over, the strings are

still attached

-Why is there so much month left at the

end of the money? asked a vso vol

the maid home for the weekend & did-

n't tell the husband. That night when

they went to bed, the husband gave

the old story: Excuse me my dear, my

stomach aches, & went to the bath-

room. The wife promptly went into the

maid's bed.

She switched the lights off. When he

came in silently, he wasted no time or

words but quickly got on top of her...

When he finished & was still panting,

the wife said: You didn't expect to find

me in this bed, did you? And then she

switched on the light... No madam, said

the gardener…

Hello mister jokes - michelle semogerere

Since its first time to appear on this

page, I have decided to write about my

fun jokes collection, From now on

wards my page should read “Hello

Mister jokes”

Disclaimer, The views expressed in this

magazine don‟t reflect the opinion of

the writer but they are only intended to

put a smile on your Face!

The New Pastor

A new pastor was visiting in the homes

of his parishioners in Ende.

At one house it seemed obvious that

someone was at home, but no answer

came to his repeated knocks at the

door. Therefore, he took out a business

card and wrote 'Revelation 3:20' on the

back of it and stuck it in the door. When

the offering was processed the follow-

ing Sunday, he found that his card had

been returned.

Added to it was this cryptic message,

'Genesis 3:10.'

Reaching for his Bible to check out the

citation, he broke up in gales of laugh-

ter. Revelation 3:20 begins 'Behold, I

stand at the door and knock.'

Genesis 3:10 reads, 'I heard your voice

in the garden and I was afraid for I was

naked.'

FIRST TIME USHERS

A little boy in church for the first time

watched as the ushers passed around

the offering plates. When they came

near his pew, the boy said loudly, "Don't

pay for me, Daddy. I'm under five."

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU TELL LITTLE

ONES

1ST SCENE

Daddy and Mommy are fighting in

the living room, right before their

little son.

Daddy: Oh !! You Bitch!!

Mommy: What?? You Bastard!

Son: Daddy, Mommy, what's Bitch

and Bastard??

At this moment, Daddy blushes. He

Proudly he said...

"Welcome in, Bastards and Bitches!

Please put all your breasts and

penises at that corner of the house!

My parents are busy at the

moment.

You see, Daddy is putting shit on

his face upstairs and Mommy is

fucking the turkey in the kitchen,

but don't worry, they'll be out

here in a minute!

Everyone fainted

A CATHOLIC GIRL CONFESSION

Girl: Forgive me father for I have sinned

Priest: What have you done my child?

Girl: I called a man a son of a bitch.

Priest: Why did you call him a son of a

bitch?

Girl: Because he touched my hand.

Priest: Like this? (As he touched her

hand)

Girl: Yes father.

Priest: That's no reason to call a man a

son of a bitch.

Girl: Then he touched my breast.

Priest: Like this? (As he touched her

breast)

Girl: Yes father.

Priest: That's no reason to call him a son

of a bitch.

Girl: Then he took off my clothes; father.

Priest: Like this? (As he takes off her

clothes)

Girl: Yes father.

Priest: That's no reason to call him a son

of a bitch.

Girl: Then he stuck his "you know what"

into my "you know where"

Priest: Like this? (As he stuck his "you

know what" into her "you know where")

Girl: YES FATHER; YEES FATHER; YEES

FAAAATHER!!"

Priest: (After a few minutes) That's no

reason to call him a son of a bitch

Girl: But father, he had AIDS!

Priest: SHIT! THAT'S A SON OF A

BITCH!!!

P A G E 1 2

quickly thinks up something.

Daddy: It means Ladies and Gentle-

men, son.

Son: Oh I see!!

2nd SCENE

The little son was watching a TV

show about premarital sex and

there

they mentioned the words 'breasts'

and 'penises'. Mommy was reading

the papers.

Son: Mommy, what's breasts and

penises?

At this moment, Mommy turned

blue, and quickly thought of some-

thing to say.

Mommy: "It means coats and hats,

son"

Son" Oh I see!!

3rd SCENE

Daddy was shaving his beard and

the son passed by the toilet,

suddenly, Daddy cut himself and

screamed....

Daddy: Oh shit!!

Son: Daddy, what's shit?

At this moment, Daddy's eyes

bulged, and quickly thought of

something to say:

Daddy: "It means shaving cream,

son".

Son: Oh I see!!

4th SCENE

Christmas is approaching, and

Mommy was stuffing the turkey

into the

stove. The turkey just wouldn't fit

into the stove, so she said...

Mommy: Oh fuck!

Son: Mommy, what's fuck?

At this moment, Mommy froze. She

quickly thought of something to

say.

Mommy: "It means stuffing, son.

Son: Oh I see!!

5th SCENE

It's Christmas eve! Little son exuber-

antly opened the door to let all

his uncles, aunties, cousins and

friends come into the house.

H E L L O M I S T E R

Hello mister jokes - michelle semogerere

I‟d give anything to see the sun set on the horizon,

I‟d do anything to gaze at a full moon in the night sky;

Even a rainbow would make me smile,

And I‟d love to swim in crystal clear waters

Of an untouched sea;

Sometimes I‟ll see a shooting star,

And try to gaze from afar,

All the diamonds in the night sky;

The mist on the mountains is breathtaking,

As is walking in rainforest;

To see cascading waterfalls I‟d do anything for,

As to stand on the highest peak in the world,

And look at the sights below;

I‟d love to soar on wings above the clouds,

Across the bluest skies;

I‟d do anything to see

All the beautiful things in the world,

Like a red rose blooming in the Sahara,

Like a river twisting through a dusty land,

All the beautiful things in the world;

All these through voluntary work

All these through VSO!

by Pak Jack

NTT

Wycliff Kivumbi Sarah Opheij

Salim Kith Richard Mose Rachel Gates

Peter Yikii Pam Ralston

Morris Mungai Michelle

Semwogerere Lau Gabuya James Serem Jack Asetto

Danny Pedragosa Charlie Ventura Alanna Minogue

We‟re on the web!

Blogspot coming

soon

South Sulawesi

Sarah Oakes Pete Howson

Mark Fijen Marilou Parina Anouk Cleven

For those who like real-time interaction you‟ll soon be able to access the Hello Mister

blog.

UPCOMING BIRTHDAYS

Sarah Opheij - January 5th Jack Asetto - February 4th

VSO VOLUNTEERS/WRITERS

Hello mister

The magazine for volunteers

by volunteers