Harvey’s - orangepeelgazettekaneco.com · IGGY’S CONCRETE FLAT WORK FOUNDATION DEMO WORK...

FREETAKE ONE

August 2 2017 Volume 11, Issue 22

“The Hottest Little Paper in Town!”Distribution on the 1st & 3rd Wednesday of each month

For Advertising: Michelle Brokop (815)751-1286 Email: [email protected]

NORTHERNKANE & KENDALL COUNTIES

Download your FREE copy today at: www.OrangePeelGazetteKaneCo.com

OORANGERANGE PPEELEEL GGAZETTEAZETTE

If you are age 7 - 107. . . Enjoy Your FREE Copy Of The Orange Peel Gazette

AcceptingE SCrAP

• Aluminum • Brass • Copper • Stainless Steel • Steel • Iron• Insulated Wire • Batteries • Aluminum Cans• Siding 336 East Sullivan • Aurora

M - F 7:30 - 4:30Sat 7:00 - 12:30

STATE CERTIFIED SCALESCONTAINER & TRUCKING SERVICES

TOP CASH PAID

forFerrous &

Non-Ferrous Metals

Ecology Tech Inc

630-844-3344www.ssmetalrecyclers2.com

1 Block E. of Rt 25 on Sullivan

Since 1988

Call Today!1-855-360-4653

Build, Protect, and Preserve

your Wealth withGOLD & SILVER.

www.metalsmint.com

Get your Get your FREEFREEInvestment KitInvestment Kit

Buy with as little as 25% down.

Each image must appear once andonly once in each row, and column

SUDOKU

Mulch SpecialistsFast, Accurate Service

46w640 Big Timber Rd • Hampshire

Visit us online at

847-683-1013

www.BeansFarm.com

WE SELL WEBER GRILLS!

Harvey’sHarvey’sPig Roast Catering

Any Event Large or Small

· Kitchenette with full-size refrigerator, Microwave and coffee machine in each room!

· Complimentary Breakfast· Free Parking · Free Internet/WiFi · Free Cable TV

North Aurora HotelInn & Suites

Weekly/monthly Rates available

201 Smoke Tree Lane N. Aurora, IL • (I-88 Exit IL-31)

(331)205-1700

$55Book Now!

Daily Rates Start at

Puerco Rostizado

Para Todo Evento Social

630-276-3725630-276-3725

Say It With Flowers A gentleman entered a busy

florist shop that displayed a large sign that read, "Say It With Flowers."

"Wrap up one rose," he told the florist.

"Only one?" the florist asked. "Just one," the customer replied. "I'm a

man of few words."

OPG 8-2-17_Layout 1 8/3/2017 10:36 AM

ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESADVERTISING STARTS AT JUST $30.00 PER ISSUE • PAGE 2

FOR ADVERTISING, CALL MICHELLE AT (815)751-1286* With Approved Credit.

Call Today!630-262-8484

OFF50

$5900$99 Value

PRECISIONAir Conditioner Tune-up

$20.00*Instant Savings

$10 Off*for donating a non-perishable cannedfood item to:

$10 Off*for First Time Customers

Purchase your new Energy Star Heating and AirSystem from One-Hour and we will

DDOOUUBBLLEE YYOOUURR QQUUAALL IIFF IIEEDD RREEBBAATTEE ..Offer Ends August 31, 2017

$1000

Get Rebates for Replacing YourA/C & Furnace

Replace your Heating and Cooling System and Save. With a new Energy Star

Heating and Air System you may qualify for

Any Repair630-262-8484

$

REBATESUP TO

Expires 8/31/17

Real Pearls?Two older women who were rivals in a social circle

met at a party. "My dear," said the first woman "Arethose real pearls?"

"They are," replied the second woman. "Of course the only way I could tell would be for

me to bite them," smiled the first woman. The second responded "Yes, but for that you would

need real teeth."

Officer's First Patrol A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a

cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came overthe car's radio telling them to disperse some peoplewho were loitering.

The officers drove to the street and observed asmall crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolleddown his window and said, "Let's get off the corner."

No one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get offthe corner!" Intimidated, the group of people began toleave, casting puzzled glances in his direction. Proudof his first official act, the young policeman turned tohis partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?"

"Pretty good," replied the veteran, "especially sincethis was a bus stop."

Gender Signs Over the years, my husband and I have usually

managed to decode the cute but confusing gendersigns sometimes put on restaurant restroom doors(Buoys and Gulls, Laddies and Lassies, etc.), butevery so often we get stumped.

Recently my husband wandered off in search of the men's room and found himself confronted by twomarked doors. One was labeled "Bronco," and theother was designated "Cactus."

Completely baffled, he stopped a restaurant employee passing by. "Excuse me. I need to use therestroom," he said. Gesturing toward the doors, heasked, "Which one should I use?"

"Actually, we would prefer you to go there," theemployee said, pointing to a door down the hallmarked MEN. Bronco and Cactus are private diningrooms."

911 Dispatcher Part of my job as a 911 dispatcher is to interrogate

callers who are in various states of panic so I can sendthe appropriate emergency equipment.

One day a woman called to say that a family member had fallen and needed to go to a hospital.

After finding out where she lived and assuring herthat the paramedics would arrive shortly, I asked her,"Do you know what caused the fall?"

"No," the woman nervously replied. "What?"

OPG 8-2-17_Layout 1 8/3/2017 10:36 AM

ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESGREAT RATES - GREAT RESULTS - CALL TODAY! (815)751-1286 • PAGE 3

TELL OUR ADVERTISERS, “I SAW YOU IN THE ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE.”

Visit us online: riverviewford.com

quick LaneoPEN SATuRDAYS 8am - 5pm

HouRSMon - Fri 7am - 7pm

Sat 8am - 5pm

1-800-321-CARS1-800-321-CARS

2200 uS Highway 302200 uS Highway 30 • • oswego, ILoswego, IL

• Air Conditioning Maintenance• Alignments• Battery Replacement• Brake Service• Cooling System Maintenance• oil Change• Suspension and Steering Maintenance• Tire Sales and Replacement• Transmission Service• Wiper Blade Replacement

At Hennessy’sRiver View Ford

Across fromFarm & Fleet

$$1100 OOff ffAAnnyy SSeerr vv iiccee VV ii ss ii ttSee quick Lane advisor

for details Expires 8/31/17 OPG

Resilience Home Health

(630) 236-8800www.resiliencehomehealth.com

Our caring team of clinicians and caregivers are able to support a wide range of services to meet your needs

Home Care ServicesErrand Service • Activities of Daily Living Personal Care • Medication Reminders

Companionship • Meal Preparation Household Chores

Home Health ServiceBringing medical care in the convenience of your home for

Nursing Care • Therapy Care • Social Work • Nurses Aide

Missed an Issue??You can get past issues on our website.

www.orangePeelGazetteKaneCo.com

Seven Iron? Keith and Mike are playing golf one day and Keith

hits a hook off the tee into a deep ravine runningalongside the fairway. He goes down into the ravine tolook for his ball while Mike takes the cart over to theother side of the fairway.

After a while, Mike realizes that he hasn't seenKeith in quite some time so he goes back over to theravine. Looking down, he sees his partner sitting onthe ground shaking uncontrollably. Next to him is askeleton clutching a seven iron with a golf ball next to his feet.

Mike descends into the ravine and helps Keithstand up. After he composes himself, Keith says"What do you think we should do?" "Well," saysMike, "I sure don't think you want to use your seveniron."

Shoe Repair Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one

day when he came across a ticket from the local shoerepair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showedthat it was over eleven years old. They both laughedand tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a decade ago.

"Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?"Arnold asked.

"Not very likely," his wife said. "It's worth a try," Arnold said, pocketing the ticket.

He went downstairs, hopped into the car, and drove tothe store.

With a straight face, he handed the ticket to theman behind the counter. With a face just as straight,the man said, "Just a minute. I'll have to look forthese." He disappeared into a dark corner at the backof the shop.

Two minutes later, the man called out, "Here theyare!"

"No kidding?" Arnold called back. "That's terrific!Who would have thought they'd still be here after allthis time."

The man came back to the counter, empty-handed."They'll be ready Thursday," he said calmly.

OPG 8-2-17_Layout 1 8/3/2017 10:36 AM

ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESLike us on Facebook for past issues & more fun stories...OrangePeelGazetteKaneCo • PAGE 4

THANK THE BUSINESS WHERE YOU PICKED UP THE ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE

Bill Cleveland 815-751-1156

Quality PostFrame Buildings

www.pinnobuildings.com • 888-567-7166

BUILT TO LAST! …

Sales Sta ThroughoutIllinois & Wisconsin

Now’s The PerfectTime To Call About YourNew Building Project!

630-352-84908 S. Van Buren • Batavia

Hatha Yoga ClassesWednesdays at 6pm

5 Classes for $50

IGGY’S CONCRETEIGGY’S CONCRETEFLAT WORK FOUNDATION DEMO WORK

EXCAVATION BOBCAT WORK

630-800-0544630-800-0544Iggy Albano

Email: [email protected]

Se Habla Español

24/7 SAME DAY SERVICE

www.JJgaragedoor.com (224)217-1631

• Steel & Wood Doors • Remotes/operators•Springs/Rollers/Cables/Tracks

SALES - SERVICE - INSTALLATIoN on All Makes & Models

Residential & Commercial

•Free Estimates •Insured •Warranty

www.ChicagoInstrumentExchange.com

24 yearsin business

W_ S_ll R_fur\ish_^ B[n^ Instrum_ntsB[n^ Instrum_nts

Buy • S_ll • Tr[^_Exp_]t @ffor^[\l_ Pri]_s on qu[lity Instrum_nts

in]lu^ing Trump_ts, Trom\on_s, Cl[rin_ts [n^ Flut_s.

17 North River St • Batavia, IL

(630)879-2815 Instrum_ntEx]h[ng_

Robbie’s Interesting FactsNew Danger Lurks in East Coast Waters!

So you thought sharks were all you had to worryabout when you go swimming in the Atlantic Ocean?Ha! That's the least of your worries.

The newest danger is the exotic--and venomous--lionfish, a spiny red and purple fish that is 6 to 12inches long and whose needlelike spines can inflict incredible pain and even cause death.

Reuters reports that the presence of lionfish havebeen confirmed by scientists at the Florida Marine Research Institute of St. Petersburg. Although rumorsof lionfish in Florida have swirled for years, now several specimens have been found off the east coast of Florida.

A native of the south Pacific, the lionfish are believed to be in the Atlantic Ocean from southernFlorida all the way north to the Carolinas.

"Dorsal, anal and pelvic spines of this fish are venomous and may cause severe local pain, numbness,paralysis, respiratory illness and, in rare cases, death,"the research institute said in a prepared statement forthe media.

Here's the good news: Lionfish are not aggressive.Their spines are used only for self-defense. They arenocturnal, hiding in holes and caves along the reef during the daytime. At night, the lionfish come out toeat and will hang nearly motionless along the crest of areef waiting for dinner to swim to them.

The New York Subway RideThe scene: The "F" train of the subway line in New

York City. I was commuting from the Borough of Queens to

my job in Manhattan. I'd finished reading the morningpaper and was saving it to bring to friends on the job.How do you save a newspaper on the subway? You siton it. A new commuter came in, saw the newspaperunder my rear and asked the second most stupid question I've ever heard (someday I may tell of thefirst), "Are you reading that paper?" I stood up, turnedthe page, sat down on the paper and answered, "Yes."

Holmstad’s 40th

Annual BazaarCreative Gifts & More

Quilt RaffleSat. September 30

9am - 3pmFabyan Pkwy & Rt 31

Batavia, IL www.theholmstad.org

Holmstad’s 40th

Annual Bazaar5 ROOMS CLEANED

$55FOROnly Call Lori Sabor atCall Lori Sabor at(815)793-9141(815)793-9141

Homes • Offices • Move-In/Outs

• Reliable & Efficient• Reasonable Rates• Flexible Schedule• No Job Too Small

OPG 8-2-17_Layout 1 8/3/2017 10:36 AM



Want to appear in the next issue

of the ORANGE PEEL

GAZETTECall Today!

(815)751-1286

Contact Us To Learn More

We’re Here to Help. . . (773)558-7175

COMPLETECREMATION SERVICE

$1295FUNERAL & CREMATION SERVICES LTD

www.CardinalFuneral.com

1250 Route 34 Oswego, IL 60543 www.RWS-Express.com Email: [email protected]

(630)851-2222

TRuCK & TRAILER REPAIR● Vehicle Maintenance● Vehicle Repair● On-site Service● Emergency Road Service

(630)264-3800WWW.SHEDCRAFT.CoM

We HaulJUNKCheap!

630-309-3131Reed N Connley

WE HAuL JuNK CHEAP!WE HAuL JuNK CHEAP!House Junk • Garage Junk • Yard Junk

630-309-3131630-309-3131Reed N Connley

Call for a FREEEstimate

Slight Mistake I work in a department store where every night

at closing time one of our customer service representatives reminds shoppers over the public address system to finish their shopping.

One evening, a woman who had recently worked at Kmart opened the announcement by saying, "Attention Kmart shoppers . . ." Quickly realizing her mistake, she tap-danced her way out of trouble byadding, ". . . you are in the wrong store."

Sunday DinnerThe Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny,

tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?""No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don't have to. My

Mom is a good cook."

Two CoinsYou have two normal U.S. coins

that add up to 35 cents. One of the coins is not a quarter.

What are the two coins?

AnSWerThe coins are a quarter and a dime.

The question notes that “one of the coins is not a quarter.” But the other coin is a quarter.

Bet you didn't know.....• A crocodile can't stick it's tongue out.

• A shrimp's heart is in their head.• People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because

when you sneeze, you're heart stops for a mili-second.

• In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80years, no one reported a single case where an ostrichburied its head in the sand. (or attempted to do so).

OPG 8-2-17_Layout 1 8/3/2017 10:36 AM

All Answers Can Be Found Throughout The Ads

Appearing In This Issue of The ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE

ACROSS1. www.StateStreet _____Shops.com5. Furniture _____9. Gold & Silver _____10. Welcome _____11. Liberty_____Elgin.com

DOWN2. Grandma's _____3. General Pro _____4. Riverview _____ Care6. _____ Concrete7. Home _____ Services8. Steel, Copper, _____ & Cars9. We haul ____ cheap



LIBERTY AUTO SALES900 North Liberty Street • Elgin

847-931-9120 • LibertyAutoElgin.com*Offer only valid on the advertised price of the vehicle. Offer not valid on

any discounted or negotiated price or motor scooter. Other terms and conditions may apply. Offer Expires 9/30/17

Call Today! Deals this good don’t last forever. 847-931-9120

$500 OFF

any vehicle*

Celebrating 35 years in business

HIGHWAY 64- NORTH AVENUE IN MAPLE PARK, IL4 MILES EAST OF SYCAMORE AND 15 MILES WEST OF ST. CHARLES

GATES OPEN 6PMFRIDAY: TIME TRIALS AT 7PM

RACING AT 8PMSATURDAY: TIME TRAILS AT 6:30PM

RACING AT 7:30PMVisit Us At

www.SycamoreSpeedway.com815.895-5454 • Like us on Facebook

RACING EVERY WEEKEND!

www.MonicaMancano.com

Monica MancanoREALTOR®, SRES®, MRP, AHWD1999 W. Galena Blvd, Aurora

(630)669-2401

AFFILIATED

(815) 827-3051

210 MAIN STREET • MAPLE PARK

PEG’S ON MAIN

~ Visit our Gift Shop ~for Cards, Home Decor & Gifts Galore

Summer is a great time for a new look!

Full Service Hair Salon for Men & Woman

Color - Cuts - Perms - Gift Shop

Rates starting at just$30 per issueCall Today!

815-751-1286

Your AdHere!

OPG 8-2-17_Layout 1 8/3/2017 10:36 AM

ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESCONNECTING CUSTOMERS AND BUSINESSES. . .THAT’S WHAT WE DO BEST! • PAGE 7


CountrywestCountrywestConcrete, Inc.Concrete, Inc.

If It’s Concrete We Will Do It! • No Job Too Big or Too Small!

[email protected] 55 .. 99 00 11 .. 77 00 55 99

FreeFree

EstimatesEstimates

Flatwork, Foundations, Decorative ConcreteTAKING OUT THE OLD, & REPLACING WITH THE NEW. CONCRETE RESURFACING

- F- FULLYULLY IINSUREDNSURED - -

DDANAN WWHITEHITE - - SSYCAMOREYCAMORE , IL, IL

IINN BBUSINESSUSINESS

OOVERVER 24 Y24 YRSRS

!!

Bobcat WorkBobcat Work • HaulingHauling • Small DemolitionSmall Demolition • • Pole Barn Repairs Pole Barn Repairs

See us on FacebookSee us on FacebookCountryWest ConcreteCountryWest Concrete

BUYING & SELLINGPaper Money & Coin Collections Appraised

Kane County Coins

Buying old uS & Foreign Paper Money • uS & Foreign CoinsGold & Silver Jewelry & Coins

$ www.kanecountycoins.com

HONEST DISCREET

111 N. Main St (Rt 47) • Elburn • 630-365-9700

Gyros - Hamburgers - Hotdogs and moreCombo Meals + Daily Specials

630-585-74501250 N. Farnsworth Av

Aurora, IL 60505

Breakfast Served ALL Day

BRING THIS COUPON FOR 10% OFF THRU AUGUST 31, 2017

CURTISToWING INC.

WE PAY CASHON THE SPOT!

7 DAYS AWEEK

24 Hrs 24 Hrs

WE BUY JUNK CARS WE BUY JUNK CARS FOR CASHFOR CASH

Any Condition • Running or Not • No Title - No ProblemAny Condition • Running or Not • No Title - No ProblemWe Come to You • Free Towing • Same Day Pick-upWe Come to You • Free Towing • Same Day Pick-up

(630)817-3577(630)817-3577

CCUURRTTIISS

Naperville www.CurtisTowingAndSalvage.com Aurora

General Pro Painting & DrywallRalph - Supervisor

residential & Commercial 630-885-7321 CelInsured & Bonded [email protected]

(815)514-5681

17 years Experience

New Exercise ProgramPhysical exercise is good for you. I know that I

should do it daily, but my body doesn't want me to dotoo much, so I have worked out this program of strenuous activities that do not require physical exercise.

You are invited to use my program without charge. 1) Beating around the bush 2) Jumping to conclusions 3) Climbing the walls 4) Swallowing my pride 5) Passing the buck 6) Throwing my weight around 7) Dragging my heels 8) Pushing my luck 9) Making mountains out of molehills 10) Hitting the nail on the head 11) Wading through paperwork 12) Bending over backwards 13) Jumping on the bandwagon 14) Balancing the books 15) Running around in circles 16) Eating crow 17) Tooting my own horn 18) Climbing the ladder of success 19) Pulling out the stops 20) Adding fuel to the fire 21) Opening a can of worms 22) Putting my foot in my mouth 23) Starting the ball rolling 24) Going over the edge 25) Picking up the pieces

Whew! What a workout! I think I'll exercise mycaution now, and sit down.

Some Words To Ponder• If you can't see the bright side, polish the dull side.

• Kind words make good echoes.• Life is short, pray hard.

• The best things in life aren't things.

• Life is a measure to be filled,not a cup to be drained.•When you're green with envy, you're ripe for troubles.

OPG 8-2-17_Layout 1 8/3/2017 10:36 AM



(630)256-0181(630)256-0181Email: [email protected] Fully Insured

Free Estimates

DUCK’S TREE & STUMP SERVICEDUCK’S TREE & STUMP SERVICE• Tree Removal • Trimming• Grind Stumps • Pruning• Support Cables

www.DucksTree.com

Payroll doesn’t have to be

STRESSFuLSTRESSFuL

Small Business Payroll Service• Personal, One-On-One Service• Affordable Rates• up-to-date Tax Regulations• Low Monthly feeProcessed through ADP Wholesale

Bob [email protected]

(630)801-77771999 W Downer Place, Ste 102 Aurora, IL 60506

A knowledgeable professionalwill save you time and greatly reduce the risk of errors that

lead to penalties.

2-MONTHSFREE PAYROLLPROCESSING

with this ad

“THE SMALL BIZ PROS”

(630)892-0344OTTO SCHULZ - Owner

1157 S. Lake Street - Montgomerywww.TheExhaustWorks.com

BrAKE SPECIAL$50 OFF

4 WHEELS or

$25 OFF2 WHEELS

Expires 8/31/17

$20 OFFAny Exhaust

purchase over$200

Expires 8/31/17

MUFFLErS ▪ SHOCKS ▪ STrUTS ▪ TIrES

SSuuppeerr SSaallee!!

Matt Gavin16119 Chicago Road Sandwich, IL 60548

Phone (815) 786-2242Cel (815) 405-9988Fax (815) 786-2296

Gavin Woodworking, Inc.Furniture Refinishing - Repairing

Special Wood Products - Chair CaningGeneral Machining - General Painting

www.reelprovideo.com

REEL PRO VIDEOREEL PRO VIDEORestoring your past to preserve the future

630-879-8900

Photos? Home Movies? Slides?

TRANSFER To DVD

A Child’s Eyes...A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he

read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she wouldtake her eyes off the book and reach up to touch hiswrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her owncheek, then his again.

Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God makeyou?"

"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me along time ago."

"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make metoo?"

"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."

Feeling their respective faces again, she observed,"God's getting better at it, isn't he?"

Ponder the Imponderables1. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't

people from Holland called Holes?

2. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

3. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea . . . does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?

4. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

5. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in .. . what happens to the other penny?

6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

THE SNOW WILL BEHERE BEFORE YOU

KNOW IT!

Advertise yourSnow Plow Services

in the Orange Peel Gazette

Contact Michelle at

815-751-1286

OPG 8-2-17_Layout 1 8/3/2017 10:36 AM


1-800-TEC-CITY1-800-TEC-CITY

• Automotive - Import & Domestic• Heavy Duty Industrial• Agricultural Equipment• Construction Equipment• High Amp Alternators• Hot-Rods & Classic Cars• Recreational Vehicles• Lawn Equipment• Motorcycles • Snow Plows• Race Cars

M.A.R.S, Inc.Starters • Alternators • Generators

www.MarsStarters.comCall For

Business to Business Pickup & Delivery

Don’t have time to wait? We offer 100% NEW units!

- - Call us First - - SStt aarr tteerr ss••AAll tteerrnn aattoorr ss••GGeenn eerr aattoorrssRebuilt to SAVE you Money!

(815)756-9438 350 W. Lincoln Hwy • Cortland, IL

HUGEInventory of

Luxury ToyHaulers!

www . H o l i d a y H o u r . c omwww . H o l i d a y H o u r . c om

ALL 2017’s ON CLEARANCE NOWTRAILERS • 5TH WHEELS • TOY HAULERSALL 2017’s ON CLEARANCE NOWTRAILERS • 5TH WHEELS • TOY HAULERS


We are Open 6 Days a Week for Your ConvenienceCall for more information (847)531-8185

Mon-Thurs 7am - 6pm • Fri 7am - 4pm • Sat 8am - 3pm

Earn Over $400 This Monthby Donating Plasma!!

1166 N. McLean Blvd. Elgin, IL 60123

Phone: 847-531-8185 Located Just North of Big Timber Road

Plasma Biological Services

• Donating Plasma is a Safe and Easy Way to Earn Money

• Your Plasma is Used in Products That Help Save Lives

• No Need for an AppointmentWalk-ins are Welcome

•Additional Bonuses for Students IDs and Frequency

BLACK and WHITE You could hardly see for all the snow

So you spread the rabbit ears far as they'd go, And pull a chair up to the TV set,

"Good night David, Good night Chet."

Depending on the channel you tuned, You'd get Rob and Laura or Ward and June,

Or Andy Griffith and Barney Fife, Lawrence Welk or This Is Your Life.

I Love Lucy and The Real McCoys, Dennis the Menace and the Cleaver boys.

Rawhide, Gunsmoke, Wagon Train, Superman and Lois Lane.

Father Knows Best and Patty Duke, Rin Tin Tin and Lassie too,

Donna Reed on Thursday night - Life looked better in black and white.

They were simple folks living a simple life Where everything always turned out right.

The good guys always won the fight. I wanna go back to black and white.

In God they trusted, in their own bed they slept,And a promise made was a promise kept.

They never cussed or broke a vow, They'd never make the network now!

Nowadays nothing's the way it seems In living color or on the screens.

The good guys don't always win the fight And life doesn't always turn out right.

If only I could, I'd rather be In a TV world of '63.

It felt so good, it felt so right, Life looked better in black and white.

I'd trade all the channels on the satellite If I could just turn back the clock tonight

To when everybody knew wrong from right - Life was better in black and white!

OPG 8-2-17_Layout 1 8/3/2017 10:36 AM


FOR ADVERTISING, CALL MICHELLE AT (815)751-1286

On the Main Stage(in or near the Beer garden)

FridayRebel Soul Revival 5:30 - 7:30pm

Back Country Roads 8 - 11pm

Saturday Babin Brothers (Beer Garden) 12 - 3pm

Stroker Red 3:30 - 5:30pm

Hillbilly Rockstarz 6 - 9pmJosh Thompson 9:30 - 11pm

SundayGuy Dominick (Beer Garden) 12 - 3pmKashmir 3:30 - 5:30pm

Hi Infidelity 6 - 9pm

AAuugguusstt 1188 -- 2200 FUNfor thewholefamily

Like us @/ElburnDays

• Car Raffle• FREE Live Music Acts • Mud Volleyball Tournament• Carnival & Food Vendors • RC Car Racing & Demos• Beer Garden • Craft Show & Commercial Tent • Truck & Tractor Pulls • Pie Baking Contest

• And So Much More($5 Admission)

Window Glass - Plastic Sheets - ScreensAluminum Store Fronts & DoorsDefective & Broken Insulated

Glass ReplacementMirrors Made To order - Table Tops

10% OffMaterial Only

with this original coupon. Not valid withother offers. No copies or internet

reprints. Expires 8/31/17

939 Montgomery Ave • Aurora630-801-1230 • www.mrtouchofglass.com

Licensed - Insured Bonded

Say What? Bob was in his usual place in the morning sitting at

the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He cameacross an article about a beautiful actress about tomarry a football player who was known primarily forhis lack of common knowledge and his fairly low IQ.

He turned to his wife Marlene with a look of question on his face. "I'll never understand why thebiggest jerks get the most attractive wives."

Marlene replies, "Why thank you, dear!"

Why do Watermelons have Fancy Weddings?

Because they Cantaloupe

The RanchA New York family bought a ranch out West where

they intended to raise cattle. Friends came to visit andasked if the ranch had a name.

"Well," said the would-be-cattleman. "I wanted tocall it the Bar-J. My wife favored the Suzy-Q. One sonliked the Flying-W, and the other son wanted the Lazy-Y. So, we're calling it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-Lazy-Y Ranch."

"But where are all your cattle?" "So far, none have survived the branding."

Elburn Lion’s Park • 630-365-6315

elburnlions.comNo outside alcohol allowed.

See our web page for more details

you can HEAR theEXCITEMENTEXCITEMENT

You love reading the ORANGE PEEL GAZETTEYour customers do too! Be a part of it!

Call Today! 815-751-1286

ANTIQUE - CLASSIC - SPECIAL INTEREST AUTOS

reasonable rates

Old Coach Works Restoration

Whether it’s a reliable driver or a Concours Grand Champion

Complete Restoration ServiceSeasonal Maintenance and Repairs

Body Repair-Painting-Electrical Repairs1206 Badger St ▪ Yorkville, IL

(630)553-0414 www.oldcoachworks.com

OPG 8-2-17_Layout 1 8/3/2017 10:36 AM



EVERY SATURDAY

Check out our Double Action and Early Bird Progressive

PlaySkunks!

• Doors Open at 5pm • Bullseye Game at 6:50pm

Hall Rental Hall Rental AvailableAvailable

Call for Special Rates

• Full Bar with Specials on Bingo Night

SOUTH ELGIN LIONS CLUB500 Fulton St • S. Elgin

(847)888-9575

www.SouthElginLions.comINTERESTED IN BECOMING A LION? ASK YOUR LOCAL CLUB HOW.

BRING A GUEST& RECEIVE

$5.00 OFF BINGO

Must present coupon. Guestmust be new to S. Elgin Bingo

night. Expires 8/31/17

Family Restaurant

With a minimumpurchase of $10

(before taxes) receive

$1 Off* $10 order$2 Off* $20 order$5 Off* $35 order$10 Off* $50 order

*Not to be used with any other offer.

(630)892-11001700 S. Douglas Rd

Montgomery

Senior BreakfastMon - Fri

HOUrSMon - Sat

5:30am - 10pmSunday til 9pm

Enjoy YourSummer!

Angvick Antique Motors Co.

Po Box 7 • Burlington, IL 60109

(847)287-4413 oldmotorsguy.com [email protected]

Specializing in vehicles manufactured prior to 1940BuY • SELL • RESToRE • REPAIR

PINBALL MACHINESCOIN OPERATEDARCADE GAMESDART MACHINES

IN HOME REPAIRSBUY & SELL

HOME AMUSEMENTS(630)742-2472

Conditional Devotion?An older couple regularly attended church. The

pastor was much impressed by how harmonious andhow in love they seemed. They always held hands allthrough the service.

One day after church, the pastor couldn't resistgoing up to them to express his admiration. He said, "I find it so inspirational to see how deeply in love youare, even, after all these years, holding hands like that."

The wife looked up sharply and said, "It's not love,Pastor, I'm just keeping him from cracking his knuckles."

A Prayer For Moms and DadsNow I lay me down to sleep,I pray my sanity to keep.

For if some peace I do not find,I'm pretty sure I'll lose my mind.

I pray I find a little quietFar from the daily family riot

May I lie back--not have to thinkabout what they're stuffing down the sink,or who they're with, or where they're at

and what they're doing to the cat.

I pray for time all to myself(did something just fall off a shelf?)

To cuddle in my nice, soft bed(Oh no, another goldfish--dead!)

Some silent moments for goodness sake(Did I just hear a window break?)

And that I need not cook or clean--(well heck, I've got the right to dream)

Yes now I lay me down to sleep,I pray my wits about me keep,But as I look around I know--I must have lost them long ago!

OPG 8-2-17_Layout 1 8/3/2017 10:36 AM

FOR ADVERTISING, CALL MICHELLE AT (815)751-1286

Opee Gazette says: Let’s Play!Who Wants To Be A Zillionaire?


Answers: $378 - D $379 - D; $380 - B; $381 - C; $382 - C; $383 - A

Gentle Chiropractic CareAcupuncture • Therapeutic Massage

Spinal Decompression Therapy

(630)375-9444 • 2166 Ogden Ave • Aurorawww.aurorachiropractor.net • Open Mon - Sat

HEALTHCARE CENTERDr. J. David Tejada

PrecisionBalancing Health, Wellness & Performance

$99 Acupuncture

Specialincludes evaluation + 4 sessions

Reg price $300

THE STATES

NICKNAME QUIZ

$384,000 Question...My state's nickname shares its nickname with a large, flying cockroach. What state am I?A) South Carolina B) MississippiC) Alabama D) Arkansas$385,000 Question...What state is surrounded totally by water?A) Bay state B) Pelican stateC) Ocean state D) Aloha state

$386,000 Question...What state's nickname can be formed by adding a primarycolor to one of the ossicles of the middle ear?A) Alabama B) MaineC) Kansas D) Wyoming$387,000 Question...What state is nicknamed after a member of the Rodentiafamily?A) Michigan B) LouisianaC) Wisconsin D) Oregon $388,000 Question...What state shares its nickname with an Island made famous by Robert Lewis Stevenson? (Treasure)A) Arkansas B) MontanaC) Idaho D) Nevada

$389,000 Question...What state's nickname shares its name with the traditional25th wedding anniversary gift?A) California B) NevadaC) Delaware D) Idaho$390,000 Question...This state has the nation's shortest coastline.A) The Free State B) The Ocean StateC) The Granite State D) The Magnolia State

(Answers below - See you next issue)

Doctors Have Good Stories too:• A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife isgoing to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff,rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and beganto prepare her for the delivery. Suddenly, I noticed thatthere were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.• At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscopeon an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anteriorchest wall.

"Big breaths," I instructed."Yes, they used to be," the patient said sadly.

• I was performing a complete physical, including thevisual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet fromthe chart and began, Cover your right eye with yourhand."

He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left."Again, a flawless read.

"Now both," I requested. There was silence. Hecouldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turnedand discovered that he had done exactly what I hadasked. He was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.• I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked,"So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's verygood, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to getused to the taste," the patient replied.

I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."• During a patient's two week follow-up appointmentwith his cardiologist, he informed his doctor that hewas having trouble with one of his medications.

"Which one?" asked the doctor. "The patch. Thenurse told me to put on a new one every six hours andnow I'm running out of places to put it!"

The doctor had him quickly undress and discoveredwhat he hoped he wouldn't see; the man had over fiftypatches on his body. Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.Now you know; Clear Directions!

Scales Don't Lie A lady noticed her husband standing on the

bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. Thinking hewas trying to weigh less with this maneuver, she commented, "I don't think that's going to help."

"Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can seethe numbers."

I WISH EVERy dAy WAS

OPG 8-2-17_Layout 1 8/3/2017 10:37 AM



Welcome Home provides people who have moved with useful community information and FREE gifts from localmerchants: all to help you become familiar with the area.

Call or Text For a Visit -Batavia • North Aurora • Batavia/Mill Creek

Jennifer Zack • 630-229-2001

Moved Recently?We would enjoy meeting you!

- www.welcomehomebatavia.com -

• Thermal Pane Glass • Storms & ScreensReplacement

• Broken Window Repair• Shower Doors & Enclosures

• Commercial Storefronts• Decorative Glass

Call today!224-228-1000

NOT NEW WINDOWS -

NEW GLASS!

RESIDENTIAL & COMMERCIALGLASS AND GLAZING SERVICES

224-228-1000www.ClassicGlassandGlazing.com

630-440-2213jfconcretelifting.com [email protected]

Serving Aurora IL and Surrounding AreasAll Projects Have 3 Year WarrantyDriveways • Sidewalks • Patios

Garages • Stoops • Void Fills • StepsPool Decks •Commercial & Industrial Uses

Concrete Leveling is Mudjacking

Don’t Replace Your old Concrete

Just Raise it and Save more than 70%

Answer Watermelen Sudoku

from front cover

35 Unique ShopsUnder One RoofHOURS: Tues - Sat 10-5Thurs 10-8, Sunday 11-5

701 N. State St. (Rt 31) Elgin, IL 60123

1 mile S. of I-90 (847)695-3066www.StateStreetMarketShops.com

Enjoy the day at theLARGEST

GIFT & ANTIQUEShop in The Fox Valley

Reasons Why Dogs Do Not Use Computers! 10. to op OHQ05 rxd6TTO /6T Y#} P3E2Wq/g

(It is too hard to type with paws) 9. Sit and stay were hard enough. Delete and save is out of the

question! 8. Saliva coated CD’s refuse to work. 7. Carpal paw syndrome. 6. Involuntary tail wagging is a dead giveaway he's been browsing. 5. Fire hydrant icon is frustrating. 4. Can't help attacking screen when he hears, "You've Got Mail". 3. Too messy to mark every website he visits. 2. Fetch command not available on all platforms. 1. Cannot stick his head out of WINDOWS 10.

Report Card Time The little boy wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he

made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said....... "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't get better

grades....... somebody is going to get a spanking........."

Finally my w

inter fat is gone.Now

I have Spring Rolls

OPG 8-2-17_Layout 1 8/3/2017 10:37 AM


Hetts Auto SalesLooking for a quality used

vehicle? All our vehicles aresafety inspected, have a

carfax report and many arepriced in the

$3000 - $8000 range. View our inventory at

www.hettsautosales.comHetts Auto Sales is located

in downtown Oswego by theR/R tracks, “Our mission is

to give you a pleasurablebuying experience” and

remember owner, Ed and son, Matt are your friends

in the car business.Hetts Auto Sales

69 W. Washington St. (Rt 34)Oswego, IL 60543

630-554-9339www.hettsautosales.com

CASH PAIDWWII, WWI

Military uniforms,photos, weapons, medals,patches, helmets, posters,

souvenirs, & older firearms.630-215-3664

Garage Doors by CurtSales and Service

We Sell CHI DoorsLift Master Openers

(630)276-3453

Gary’s Painting & Handyman(630)409-6002$20/hour local

$22/hour outside local area

BUYING

AUTOMOTIVE

The Right GuyCarpet Cleaning, Inc

Certified Cleaning for CarpetTile/Grout, Area Rugs,

Upholstery, RV’sResidential/Business/Rentals

www.TRGCarpetCleaning.comFor Reviews & Pics • 19yrs Exp.630-264-4369 Free Estimates

CARPET CLEANING

HANDYMAN

GARAGE DOORS

EGGS FOR SALE

AL’S ELECTRIC(Semi Retired, but not Tired)

Licensed • 45 yrs ExpJust Call Al (630)514-6569

ELECTRICAL

AA ELECTRICResidential • CommercialIndustrial • New Const.Full Service Electrical

24-Hr Svc • Free Estimate(630)393-1100

Ed & Judie’s Chicken &Duck Egg Farm: Self Service

6S260 Hankes RdAurora (630)907-0775

ELECTRICIAN

Phil’s Cleaning ServiceNeed carpets cleaned?

R U Flooded? Best Prices Call 24/7 (847)800-7167

CLEANING SERVICE

$125 Mixed Face Cord$150 Oak Face Cord

Free Delivery/Stacked630-907-0775 Ed

FIREWOOD

HANDYMAN-NAILS-ITHome Improve/Rpr/Maint

handyman-nails-it.com(630) 360-3039

Deliveries of black dirt,limestone, gravel, sand,

or debris removal. Bobcat service, weed mowing

Excavating & demo workJ.P.Rippinger 630-254-9446

HAULING EXCAVATING

DRYER VENTCLEANING

Prevent dangerous lint build-up that causes fires.A clean dryer vent allows

your clothes dryer to operate more efficiently,shortening drying time

& saving energy. SeniorDiscounts Available. Call

FUZZBUSTERS630-907-9643


Knife collection, doll houseBeam bottle train collectionduck decoys, antique clock,

toy tractor collection847-529-4767

FOR SALE

CREDIT CARD PROCESSING

Over charged or under served?Free review of your current

credit card processing. Transnational processes forthe Orange Peel Gazette.

Call Charles 312-375-6691

HELP WANTED

Office help with computerskills. Must be organizedwith bookkeeping ability. Call Betsy 847-888-2001

Skilled ConstructionLaborers needed for general

construction projects.(847) 922-5709

• Farm Windmill• 2 antique clawfoot bathtubs

• 2008 Triumph 850• 1975 Honda 650• Kawasaki 440

• Honda 350 DreamcycleCall 630-898-5320

Health Rider Machine $120Child’s Guitar $10

Flutes $10(630)554-2211

Work Home/ Spare TimeBook Travel+/We Train

Earn> What Your Worth!Interview - 630 766 8231

OPG 8-2-17_Layout 1 8/3/2017 10:37 AM


ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESTHE HOTTEST LITTLE PAPER IN TOWN • PAGE 15

PAINTING

Wanted to buy junk -Cars, Trucks, Farm

Equipment/MachinerySemi-Trucks Trailers

Free Pick UpCASH ON SPOT!

(847)456-0974

Cash Paid for Old Fishing/Hunting

EquipmentCall Tim (630)327-1557

J & L BUILDERSBasement Finishing

Kitchen & Bath RemodelingFlood Damage Repair

Your Complete RemodelingService. Free Estimates

(630)334-1322J-LBUILDERS.COM

WANTED

RON’S QUALITY PAINTINGInterior - Exterior

Affordable & CleanOver 25 years experienceFree Estimates - Insured

(847)489-9907

Band Instruments: Cellos Open Hole Flutes, Trumpets

Double French Horns, Saxophones (847)951-7098

Sleeping Room $90/weeklyClean/Quiet, Non-smoking

Refrigerator accessAurora 630-247-1031

ROOM FOR RENT

Tree Pruning & RemovalCall ISA Certified Arborist

Joe (224) 789 - 8773Northern Kane & Dupage Co

www.ArborJoe.com

OFFICE SERVICES

Superb Office Services• Computer Classes• PC Diagnostic / Repair• Business Cards / Flyers• Desktop Publishing

Elgin – (847) 741-1007Superbofficeservices.com

Bill’s Custom ServicesInterior/Exterior

Painting & Drywall Etc.Wallpaper hanging/removalOver 20 Years Experience

Free Estimates/Insured Now Offering Carpet Cleaning

(815)482-4155

Lanza Masonry Inc.Brick, Stone, Tile

Pavers Retaining Walls 847-833-3384

MASONRYJ & D TREE CARE

815-517-5042Tree Trimming & Removal

www.JDTrees.comFully Insured & Bonded

AGUAS REMODELINGAll Kinds of Repairs;

Electrical - WallsBathrooms - Kitchens

PaintingHabla Espanol

(847)809-1102 Jesus

T.J. MACHININGWelding • CNC Machine Work

Mower Deck Repair630-401-7355 • 630-345-2695

[email protected]

MACHINING

LAWN CARE SPECIALAerate $35 (48”Gate)

Fertilizer $59 (0-10,000)Overseed Free w/A & F

Beautiful Lawn & Tree Care630-585-0221

I BUY SILVER COINS1964 and under

10 times face value(630)815-1506

Make Lasting Memories.Private lake community

home, 2 hrs west of suburbswww.5206heathcliffdr.com

REAL ESTATE

TREE SERVICE

LAWN CARE

REMODELING

Information gathered herein is from sources considered reliable. Accuracy however cannot be guaranteed. All humorous stories and jokesappearing here are intended for entertainment purposes only and are not

meant to disrespect or harm any group or individuals. Ads appearing in this paper are not to considered as an endorsement or validation by Orange Peel Gazette for products or services offered.

Next Issue Ad DeadlineAugust 16 August 4

To appear in the next issue of the ORANGE PEEL GAZETTEcontact Michelle at (815)751-1286

Veronica &Audelia’sHouse Cleaning Services

630-506-2895630-935-5287

HOUSE CLEANING

HOME BUSINESSYou started working a job to

pay your bill, why not a business that pays you. Get

started now and work on yourown terms. A small investmentto get started. Work F/T or P/T.

Call me (630)906-9521

INDUSTRIALSPACE FOR RENTBatavia, Sugar Grove,

St. Charles & Woodridge office & warehouse space for lease, from 1,500sq ft to 12,000sq ft. For info Call Don 630-330-7637or Sarah 630-318-2341

Robbery Lesson A robber walks into a bank, produces a gun and

points to the teller saying, "Give me all the money or you'll be geography."

The teller looks up and says, "Don't you mean history?"

The robber replies, "Don't change the subject."

How to Have a Beach Body

1) Have a Body

2) Go to Beach

PAINTING

OPG 8-2-17_Layout 1 8/3/2017 10:37 AM

LOOK FOR OUR NEXT ISSUE ON AUGUST 16, 2017


RECYCLEThinkorange

ThinkCash

CASH for your ScrapSteel, Copper, Aluminum & Cars

Trucking & DumpsterService Available

“Helping To Keep America Pickedup for 40 Years” TM

R. Zimmerman301 Industrial Dr

DeKalb(815)756-8600

For Advertising: Michelle (815)751-1286 Email: [email protected] • Mailing: Po Box 703, DeKalb, IL 60115

Download your FREE copy: www.orangePeelGazetteKaneCo.com

ONLY$9900

$5000OFF

OUR BACK-UP SUMPPUMP INSTALLATIONS

FREE JOB QUOTE

TAKE

TAKE

$5000OFFANY NEW OUTSIDESPIGOT INSTALLED

License # 058-174863

www.benfranklinplumbernorthernil.com

ANY DRAIN CLEAREDProfessionally Clean Any DrainInside Your Home. Regularly $199

815-756-8484 Not valid with any other offer. One coupon per customer. Some restrictions may apply. Expires 8/31/17



If there’s any delay, it’s you we pay! TM630-262-8484

Call Ben Franklin Plumbing Today!

$50 off

Trimming • Pruning • Stump Removal • GrindingCabling and Bracing Damaged Trees

Landscaping • Mulch Services • Firewood(630)677-2722 • www.HenryTree.com

Large TreeRemoval

Call for Details. Expires 8/31/17

Signs the Car You Just Bought is a Lemon 1. As you leave the used car lot, you see the

owner rush out with a gigantic smile and high-fivethe salesman.

2. You notice that the car phone they threw in "forfree" has a direct line to Moes's Towing Company.

3. The booster cables are not in the trunk but arepermanently soldered to the battery.

4. The hood has been equipped with a push-buttondevice for quick and easy opening.

OPG 8-2-17_Layout 1 8/3/2017 10:37 AM

Harvey’s - orangepeelgazettekaneco.com · IGGY’S CONCRETE FLAT WORK FOUNDATION DEMO WORK...

Documents

Transcript of Harvey’s - orangepeelgazettekaneco.com · IGGY’S CONCRETE FLAT WORK FOUNDATION DEMO WORK...