@nireyal

Happiness Hack

NirAndFar.com

This One Ritual Made Me

Much Happier

Studies show adult friendships have a significant impact on our

happiness and well-being.

In fact, a lack of close friendships may be hazardous to your health.

Socially disconnected people are less happy, their health declines

earlier in midlife, their brain functioning declines sooner, and

they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely.

- Robert Waldinger,Harvard Study of Adult Development

Lest we think having 500 Facebook friends might offer some protection…

It’s not just the number of friends you have … it’s the

quality of your close relationships that matters.

- Robert Waldinger,Harvard Study of Adult Development

So what makes for a quality friendship?

FRIEND

So what makes for a quality friendship?

easy to talk to

dependable

enjoyable

Diagram adapted from the work of William Rawlins.

FRIEND

Finding someone to talk to, depend on, and enjoy comes naturally when we’re young.

In college, we build strong bonds when nearly everyone around us is

also searching for connection.

But as we grow into adulthood, we go our separate ways, pursue careers and start lives miles apart from our best friends.

Once childrenenter the picture,

exhilarating nights on the

town become exhausted nights

on the couch.

The Problem:

Friendships Starve to Death

When we’re not careful, the people we care about often

become residual benefactors.

We leave them for last, giving them whatever bits of time are left over after we’ve attended

to everything else.

The Solution:

The Kibbutz

Kibbutz means “gathering” in

Hebrew.

The Solution:

The Kibbutz

For our kibbutz, four couples meet every two weeks to talk about one question.

How to Commit to

The Kibbutz

Book the time

Reserve time on your calendar for the foreseeable future so there’s no scheduling headaches.

Go deep

Talking about a meaningful topicstrengthens your bonds.

Get past the shallow small talk - no weather, sports, or politics.

Don’t let kidsderail you

Children benefit from seeing you model a healthy adult friendship.

Your kids can listen or participate but don't let them interrupt.

Make time to invest in your most important relationships and get the psychological nourishment you need.

To friendship, and your health.

These slides are based on an essay by Nir Eyal.

READ ARTICLE

Want MORE?

Want MORE?

These slides are based on an essay by Nir Eyal.

Click to read the original article.

READ ARTICLE

Subscribe to Nir’sblog to get more.

Subscribe to Nir’sblog to get more.

Click to SUBSCRIBE!