EASTERN EYE July 8, 2011 29

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The extra-marital affairAge 49, marriedI have been happily married for a number of years and would never leave my husband because he is a good man and an excellent father. He started our relationship determined to work hard for his fam-ily and as time went on, that kind of became his priority. Although it resulted in a comfortable life for us, I felt neglected and no longer loved in the same way. I didn’t want to grow old as the pas-sive and supportive wife, but didn’t want to de-stroy the strong family unit that had been built up over time and that is why I started to stray.

The first time was the most difficult because I suffered an incredible sense of guilt and I couldn’t appreciate any positives in my affair like the intimacy and physical spark. The guilt made me stop for many years until I met a wonderful younger man who reminded me that I was beautiful. He awakened the beautiful and sexy woman inside me by making me feel special. He lived in another city and yes, I did fall in love with him. The times we spent to-gether were magical, uplifting and sensual. I couldn’t break up my family though I was madly in love with this won-derful man and know that deep down, he loved me too with the same passion.

Then after a year of cheating

on my husband, I de-cided to end things by being

nasty towards my lover. Even though it broke both our hearts, I

decided that my family was a lot more important than my own desires. There are still times when

I think I made the wrong decision, but when that happens I make

an extra little effort for my hus-band and when he responds, I feel like am loved again.The future: I don’t want to The future: I don’t want to The future:say I won’t stray again be-cause my past actions have shown me that noth-ing is predictable. All I know is my family is the most important thing in the world to me.

The unhappy wifeAge 39, divorcedI met the man who would eventually be-come my husband at a very young age, so never knew anything else. A long-term rela-tionship was followed by marriage, settling down and having children. I didn’t mind any of that because I loved my hus-band, my family and my seemingly perfect life.

Then my husband, who is nine years older than me, started to cheat on me and although I knew what was going on I tried to block it out. I then attempted to find a resolution for the sake of the children, but he con-tinued to stray and it didn’t really seem like he

loved me any more. As time went on, the emo-tional and physical distance between us started to grow. Although we tried to maintain a sense of normality in front of our young children, we became strangers living in the same house.

I decided to distract myself by taking evening classes and met a man there who put a smile back on my face after a really long time. It wasn’t long before I was doing the same thing and hav-ing an affair, but I felt incredibly guilty and was constantly worried I would get caught. Also, I didn’t tell the new man that I was married with

kids, and led a dou-ble life for six months. When I started to fall in

love with him, I con-fessed all and not surprisingly, he left me. Do I regret what happened? The only thing I regret about

the whole situation was falling in love as a

teenager before truly getting to know myself and

hurting the man I started to see. He didn’t deserve it.The future: I am now divorced The future: I am now divorced The future:and trying to rebuild my life with my children. I hope I will

meet someone one day, but whatever happens in that rela-tionship, I won’t cheat on him.

If it isn’t working out, I will walk away and hold onto my humanity.

The playerAge 22, single

I don’t think you can truly fall in love when you are young. Don’t get me wrong, I really

have tried to find someone special, but it hasn’t happened for me yet. I have had boyfriends, but none were serious enough for me to want to settle down and think about building some sort of a fu-ture with them. The relationships not being seri-ous and no talk of commitment means that I can play the field. What makes this a lot easier is that I have like-minded friends who pretty much do the same thing as me and just have fun. The fact that I still live at home with my parents actually also makes it better for me because there are no unex-pected visitors or phone calls – it allows me to be in control of my relationships and ultimately

makes it easier for me to be unfaithful.By not getting close enough to a man who I

wouldn’t want to cheat on, I think I am, in a way, preventing myself from getting hurt like some of my friends have been. I think

that some of the guys I see know deep down that I am being unfaithful, but it doesn’t seem to bother them, so why should I care. I hope that one day I will find a man who I will love so much that I won’t want to look be-

yond him, but right now that seems like a distant dream. I am playing the field and reckon most of these men are doing the same thing – so it’s an even trade.The future: Anyway, before I can make plans to The future: Anyway, before I can make plans to The future:settle down, I need to think about my career – I want to be successful and don’t want to rely on anyone else financially. But I hope this casual dat-ing is a phase and in the future, I too will have a romance where a man sweeps me off my feet.

say I won’t stray again be-cause my past actions have shown me that noth-ing is predictable. All I know is my family is the most important thing in the world to me.

The unhappy wifeAge 39, divorcedI met the man who off the off the off the off the off the off the

ath of true loveath of true loveath of true love

Lack of attention: When women feel neglected or under-appreciated by their men, they are likely to look for that attention elsewhere.

Need to play the field: This applies especially to younger women who want to sow their wild oats and see what is out there.

Exit strategy: Some women want to break up so badly that they look for a reason for their current partner to hate them – and find it in infidelity.

Low esteem: Some boost their low esteem with promis-cuity, which gets them some attention.

Lack of emotional support: When feelings go from a relationship, women look for it elsewhere.

Physical desires: Men are not the only ones who have physical urges and when the spark goes from a relationship, women may look elsewhere for it.Revenge: The most common reason for a woman to cheat is to take revenge on a partner who has wronged her in

some way.

SEVEN COMMON REASONS WOMEN CHEAT

NOT being full aware of the impact of the changing seasons can be damaging to your hair because you won’t put any preventive measures into place. For example, the atmos-phere in overheated houses and offices in the winter can have a drying effect on your hair.

Although we understand the need to protect the skin during the hot summer months, many of us won’t apply that same principle to our hair. While your hair won’t burn in the sun, it can get se-verely damaged by the strong UV rays during the hotter months. The dam-aging rays will result in the dehydrat-ing and discolouration of the hair, es-pecially if it is dyed.

That is why you need to look after your hair in the sun with products that have protective sunshields. So go out and get the right products for your hair type now and fight the ef-fects of hot weather damage.

with Asgar

THE delicate under-eye area is prone to dark circles, puffiness and other problems and sometimes a concealer alone is not enough. We all want that area to be lighter and brighter to make our eyes look wide awake, so I like to use a two-in-one product which gives coverage and contains light-reflecting pigments. These are my top five choices.

L’Oreal Touché Magique Illuminating Concealer, £6.99: Available in four shades, this is a good product which blends eas-

ily and gives pretty good coverage. The texture has a good consistency and for the price, you can’t really go wrong. Just make sure you test the product before buying as matching them to different Asian skin tones may be tricky with only four shades in the range.

Smashbox Photo Op Under Eye Bright-ener, £13: One of my favourite beauty secrets. This may not have the highest

level of coverage, but it really does bright-en the under-eye area without making you look like a racoon. It has a clever little brush tip, which I use on no-makeup days on my brow bone, on the inner and outer corners of my eyes and a little on the orbital bone for more lifted eyes.

Boots No 7 Instant Radiance Concealer, £13.50: A brilliant product and half the price of some very similar ‘cult prod-

ucts’ on the market. This concealer is easy to blend, gives good coverage without be-ing heavy and has great brightening properties.

YSL Touché Éclat, £24: The only reason this amazing product has come second on my list is because of the price, but it

is still worth every penny if your purse strings allow. This hasn’t become a cult product for no reason. It lightens, conceals and bright-ens and is now available in four very skin-tone friendly shades, so find one that is suitable for you. It can also be used as a highlighter along the cheek bones, on the brow bone and the up-per lip (cupid’s bow). Plus I think the packaging is beautiful.

Garnier Roll-on Anti-Dark Circles Con-cealer, £9.99: I am a massive fan of this product. It contains caffeine in its for-

mulation to de-puff and a clever roller-ball applicator to cool the under-eye area, so you are getting so much more for your money than just a concealer. Plus it has great coverage, an easy-to-blend texture and is now available in four fantastic shades. I also use this as a mini-

foundation to cover areas of redness when I am a little short of time.

Lubna Obaid is a top fashion and beauty consultant.Contact her on www.lubnaobaid.com

With Lubna Obaid

THE TOP FIVE UNDER-EYE CONCEALER/HIGHLIGHTERS

L’Oreal Touché Magique Illuminating L’Oreal Touché Magique Illuminating Concealer, Concealer, this is a good product which blends eas-this is a good product which blends eas-

ily and gives pretty good coverage. The ily and gives pretty good coverage. The

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Smashbox Photo Op Under Eye Bright-Smashbox Photo Op Under Eye Bright-ener, ener, secrets. This may not have the highest secrets. This may not have the highest

level of coverage, but it really does bright-level of coverage, but it really does bright-

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Boots No 7 Instant Radiance Concealer, Boots No 7 Instant Radiance Concealer, £13.50£13.50price of some very similar ‘cult prod-price of some very similar ‘cult prod-

ucts’ on the market. This concealer is ucts’ on the market. This concealer is

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YSL Touché Éclat, YSL Touché Éclat, this amazing product has come second this amazing product has come second on my list is because of the price, but it on my list is because of the price, but it

is still worth every penny if your purse is still worth every penny if your purse

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Garnier Roll-on Anti-Dark Circles Con-Garnier Roll-on Anti-Dark Circles Con-cealer, cealer, product. It contains caffeine in its for-product. It contains caffeine in its for-

mulation to de-puff and a clever roller-mulation to de-puff and a clever roller-

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Celebrity stylist Asgar is at Daniel Galvin Hair Salon, 58-60 George Street, London W1U 7ET